Original subtitles

Paradise, 12 letters.

Garden of Eden.

Six letters, starts with F. Spanish dictator.

- Fluffy. - Franco.

Yeah, yeah, that-- that's what I was gonna say.

- Save me the obituaries. - Why?

It's a ritual I have. I like to check and see if my ex-husband's in there.

Here you go.

Mmm, maybe next week.

Cheer up, maybe that's the morgue.

Hello?

Speaking.

What? How much?

Well, you can't do that.

Okay, okay, well, maybe you can.

Sir, I've been living here for 15 years.

I'm sure that we can reach some sort of amicable--

Oh, go piss up a rope!

What's the problem?

They're tripling my rent.

What?

We can't do that. What about tenants' rights?

Well, you sort of give those up when they find out you've been subletting illegally.

- Ah. - I'm gonna have to move.

I can't believe it. I mean, what am I gonna do?

Kate, Kate, easy with the shears.

I can't afford a place like this in Manhattan.

I'm gonna have to live in Brooklyn or Bronx.

Or you can move in with me.

What?

Well, he's put his foot in it this time.

M-- move, you know, in with-- with me.

You really mean that?

Well, I don't know, do I?

Uh...

I'll take a chance.

- I'm with you. - Me, too.

Yes.

Yes, I do.

Wow.

It I mean, thanks.

But wow.

Uh, so, I-- I guess,

your answer is, uh, "Wow"?

Well, it's just that it's a very big step.

Not that big. I mean, we're already there four nights a week, right?

- Three more and we're just living together. - Right.

Okay, maybe it's a little sooner than expected, right? Maybe we could've waited.

Until this world is a happier,

saner, more tolerant, free, peaceful, loving,

charitable and nicer place in which to hang my hat.

But on the other hand, maybe it's a good time

to do something wild and romantic and impulsive.

Well, it would save a lot of money.

You mad fool.

Wow, Dad. These giant CDs!

Jeremy, those are called albums.

- That's what we used to have before we had CDs. - No shit, Dad. Like, duh.

There's your son for you.

Jeremy.

You, uh-- You sure you're okay with this?

I mean, you know, Kate moving in and all and...

For the tenth time, I'm fine, Dad.

- Well, great. - I mean, if you're ready to give up your privacy

and half of your living space and have someone in your face, like, 24 hours a day,

then I'm all for it.

Good. Okay. Thank you.

Besides, I can always go to Mom.

I said "Okay."

Be careful.

Wow, you sure have...

A lot of things.

...made a lot of progress.

Where-- where do you want the TV?

Why don't you put it over there on top of the other TV?

It'll give us options.

All right. Okay. Okay.

Okay, we just got one more trip.

Don't forget the stuff at my mom's.

- What? - I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Ah, he's having trouble with jokes today.

Well, these aren't jokes. Jokes are like, "Knock, knock." "Who's there?"

"Grandpa." "Grandpa who?" These are something less than jokes.

I'll get going. We'll be right back.

Oh, shit.

Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you must be Kate.

I'm, you know, Jeremy's mother,

Martin's-- You know.

Hello.

- Hello. - I-- Martin told me that you might be moving in.

I just didn't know that you already had moved in.

But here you are, so I guess you did.

Uh, actually, I-- I just came by to pick up Jeremy, who is...

Uh, with Martin. They should be back soon.

Can I get you something to drink?

Um, sure.

Uh, maybe a-- a seltzer?

Okay. I think we can do that.

How about some plain water?

All we seem to have is expired tomato juice.

Oh, did you check the shelf over the sink?

You're in luck.

It's just that we always kept it--

Thank you very much.

- Honey, I'm home. - Hi.

I must have stumbled into the wrong apartment.

Who lives here?

So-- so, you two have met.

That's good, good. You-- you've met.

Jeremy, let's go.

Uh, Kate, it was really nice meeting you.

- Uh, same here. - And I'll see you tomorrow for lunch?

- Great. - Okay. Bye, you guys.

- Thanks for the hernia. - Goodbye, Kate.

Okay, so, look, I'll go get the rest of your stuff.

Don't worry, it's just your anvil and lead weight collection.

You didn't mention that you were having lunch with Judith.

Oh, you know, that's-- that's, uh-- that's because we have lunch all the time.

Oh.

Even if I do say so,

I handle the situation brilliantly.

Okay. I'll-- I'll see you later.

May I put the plants over here?

Uh, yeah, sure. No problem.

Do you actually ever look through this thing?

Sometimes.

And do you sometimes see a woman vacuuming naked?

Oh, Jeremy must have been playing with that.

You know, 13-year-olds.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, yeah. Oh.

We haven't finished unpacking.

Just like Christmas, eh?

Why does Judith have a key?

Uh, what do you mean?

Well, don't you think it's a little strange

that your ex-wife has a key to your apartment?

No, not really. I mean, she used to live.

So?

I mean, it's not like Squeaky Fromme with a key.

You know, Judith is like...

my best friend.

So that makes me...

You make me think of a proverb, Singh.

"Never let your tongue cut your own throat."

You're my best, best friend. Yeah, she's my old best friend,

and you're my newer, better best friend.

And your best friend Eddie?

He does not have a key,

if-- if that's what you're worried about.

I think I'm gonna go do some more unpacking.

Uh, okay, you want the rundown?

Okay, okay.

Here's who has keys, you know, Judith, Jeremy, you, me,

Melkis, my ex-mate who is now in Romania,

so I doubt if she'll be popping in anytime soon.

Martin, Judith just walked in

like she still lives here or something.

What? What do you want me to do?

You want me to get her key back? I mean--

Yeah, that would help.

Boys, the honeymoon's over.

- That's ridiculous. - She's your ex-wife.

I don't understand why you're still even speaking to her.

Well, no, of course you don't.

- I mean, you set your ex-husband's car on fire. - He wasn't in it.

I'm just saying we're coming from just slightly different places.

All right, maybe slightly.

But Judith and I are just friends, okay?

That's all. That part of my life is over.

Okay. I'm sorry.

No.

What do you think of this here?

Well, actually, we-- we always like that here.

Oh.

Who's "we"?

You make me think of a proverb, Singh.

Uh, you know, me and Jeremy.

Just people in general, you know.

I'm sure.

- I really need your key back. - Why?

It's just that there's this extra key floating around, you know?

It's not floating around. I haven't have it.

Martin, have you filled out the employee safety quiz?

I haven't even had a chance to look at it yet, okay?

Well, Nicole's hawking me for this thing. You better get it in.

Yeah, well, I'm kind of in the middle of something right now, you know?

- Hello. - Here, why don't you just take it and just fill it out for me?

- Okay? Thank you very much. - Okay. Hello, Judith.

So, Martin, why do you want my key back?

You afraid I'll steal something?

Ladies and gentlemen, the pressure on us is enormous.

No, no.

I was just talking to my insurance guy,

and he thought it would be a good thing for insurance purposes.

And, uh, actually, it's more for your benefit.

And so this has nothing to do with Kate moving it?

Nice try.

Well, it-- it does, now that you mention it,

actually, uh, yes.

So...

Hand it over! Hand it over!

I can take it now, or, you know, whatever.

Bad news, you failed.

What-- They graded it already?

It's a self-test. The answers are on the back.

How can I fail a test with the answers on the back?

What do you want me to do, cheat for you?

Anyways, now you have to take a special class every Wednesday night for two months.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- How did you do? - I got a 96.

I'm very safety conscious.

I'll give you 50 bucks for the key.

Fine. You want the key?

Here's the key.

Thank you.

How do you know that I don't have a copy, hmm?

I could get a copy made from Jeremy's just like that.

Maybe you should change your locks, you know?

And while you're at it, you might wanna change that phone number, too.

Perhaps you prefer that I stop using your last name.

Jude, Jude, I think you're overreacting.

I am not overreacting!

Sorry. Sorry.

So, would you like to go get some lunch?

Sure, how-- how about Chinese?

I'm not really very hungry.

Come on, come on, we'll just grab a sandwich or something.

Is this what you really want?

No, I really wanted to go get Chinese.

No, I mean, do you really wanna just be ex-husband and ex-wife?

Judith, that's not what I said, okay?

I mean, I just-- I just said that I just wanted the key.

It's okay, it's okay. I understand. I mean,

if you feel that you need to put some distance between us in order to get on with your life,

then I just--

Here, keep the key.

Really?

- Absolutely. - Okay.

I-- I won't use it. I'll just-- I'll just have it.

Fine, fine, I'll explain it to Kate,

and I'm sure she'll understand.

There's no law that says she's got to know about it.

Thanks. Was it hard for you?

Uh, no, actually, it was easier than I thought.

I wouldn't want to die with a lie on my lips if I were you.

I mean, after all, it's only a key.

You're really terrific.

However, it's your choice.

Judith. Hi.

Your visit now is most unwelcome.

- Why are you here? - I just felt bad about what happened.

Oh, no, no, really, there's nothing to feel bad about.

Thanks for stopping by.

Martin!

- Come in. - Thank you.

I'm sorry. I-- I thought you were done.

May I get you a seltzer?

Okay, I hope you understood about this--

what's not to understand, you know?

I mean, everything settled, really.

No, no, no, no, I reacted emotionally, it was silly, and--

So, here, Kate.

This is for you.

It's a housewarming present.

Wine.

And it's red! It's my favorite color for wine.

Thank you, Judith.

But more importantly, I wanted you to have this.

Thank you.

I thought I already had it.

Well, yes, yes, you did, and--

and obviously, that's a second one.

Jesus Christ, Judith. How many keys do you have?

- What? - Well, if it's just these two, that's fine.

'Cause now we have both of them, and thank you.

- Martin, what are you doing? - Work with me.

Martin?

All right, I lied.

- You what? - I lied, okay? I lied.

I tried to get the key back from her.

I asked her, I did. Judith, tell her.

- He did. He asked me. - But she started crying, you know,

and she was just so pathetic.

Pathetic?

Well, not pathetic-pathetic,

I'm just saying that, you know, I felt for you.

And what exactly did you feel for her?

Uh, pity.

Nothing but pity.

- That's it. Goodbye. I'm going. - No, don't. I'll go.

- Kate, wait. - I don't know what's going on between you two.

Nothing's going on between us! Nothing!

I had 12 years of her. Do you think I want more?

Oh, as if I'd be interested.

- I have Richard Stone. Please. - See?

No, I don't. I'm sorry, but it's like you never got divorced.

You have lunch together all the time,

talk on the phone constantly. She has a key to your apartment.

- Not anymore. - You're doing everything but sleeping together.

Oh, my God.

You know, it happens. I mean, couples do that. It's really very, very common.

And that was before we met, you know, it only happened one time.

I need to get some air.

Kate! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Fuck. Fuck. I hate that there.

Kate! Kate!

I don't think I'll be needing these.

Kate, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

The turning of a key.

- One little key. - One little key.

Sometimes it is pretty important.

How could you do that? I told you to keep the key.

Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were gonna lie to her!

Maybe you should've thought about that a little earlier!

Oh, please, I was just trying to help.

I want things to work out between the two of you. I really do, I--

- Oh, oh, God, I bit my tongue. - Can I ask you something?

Have you been exposed to any type of radio activity in the past six months?

What's going on with you?

I don't know. I don't know.

It's-- You know, everything's changing so fast,

and I mean, I know that we were divorced,

but you know, I never really felt divorced, did you?

Well, when you married Richard, it kind of started to sink in.

- You know what I mean? - That was me, this is you.

Look. Jude, I've been involved with lots of women since we split up. What?

Oh, yeah, yeah. But they were all bimbos.

Oh. Oh, that's right.

What's your point?

It's just that Kate is great,

and, you know, she's moving in with you,

and I'm with Richard, and stuff keeps happening,

and you and I are-- Geez, I hate change.

Jude, come on.

It's not big change, you know, it's just little, little.

I'm pregnant.

That's big.

The miracle of life begins

in infinite variety.

Living things appear, and change,

and reach the land.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Congratulations, I mean, Richard must be thrilled.

Well...

I haven't been able to tell him yet.

Oh, my God.

Is it-- I mean, it isn't--

No, it isn't yours. I just haven't seen him.

He's still in a fucking space shuttle.

God, get over yourself.

Well, sorry. I'm sorry. You know, it's just the timing.

I'm very happy for you.

Isn't it incredible? I mean, those little baby shoes.

Yeah.

It's funny, you know.

The last time I was pregnant,

you and I were moving in here.

But things aren't the same around here.

Nothing will ever be the same again.

Martin, we had some anchovies then.

Do you think they're still around?

I-- I know I didn't eat them.

♪ Amazing Kate ♪

♪ Please don't be mad ♪

♪ I'm sorry I lied ♪

♪ About the key ♪

♪ I really messed up ♪

♪ And I feel bad ♪

♪ So please, please, please ♪

♪ Forgive me ♪

Kate. I'm an asshole. I know that.

And now you know that, too.

I just hope that you can find it in your heart to--

Just to take me back.

Please tell me there's not another verse.

Listen, Kate, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

It's not gonna work. It's not. You still have feelings for your ex-wife.

Okay, okay, feelings, but I'm not in love with her, you know?

I'm-- I'm in love with you.

But you lied to me.

Wait, I have a whole verse on that.

Fine, fine. I believe you.

But I can't live with you.

That's your apartment with Judith.

It always will be.

You're right. You're right.

So-- so, why don't we just move in here?

Oh, my God. Really?

Sometimes a small thing like that

can be the key that opens a lot of closed doors.

I wanna live with you.

I wanna live with you too.

You guys sure this time?

Because I'm not moving this aquarium again.

- I mean it. - Well, actually, there was this terrific six-floor walk-up.

- It's fine. - Have I got everybody's keys?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

You ready to go?

Uh, yeah, I just wanna make sure I got everything.

- Okay. - Okay.

Then we'll have a mahogany dining room table here.

And next to it will be an 18th century china cabinet.

And over here we'll have the baby's cribbing, and there will be your writing desk.

You'll write at your desk, you'll go, "Judith."

I'll come running over, and I'll read it.

It'll be so good, it'll sell a million copies.

We'll have so much money that we could afford to live in

any apartment in New York City, but won't want to, because we love this one so much.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

We can't live in yesterday and what might have been,

we have to look for a new tomorrow.

And we mustn't let love kill us.

That isn't the reason for it.

So, let the old love teach us how to go on living.

And loving.

Okay, let's go.

- Shit. - What?

Hey!

I think I left my wallet in there.

Does anybody have--

What's the matter? Is it in the wrong key?