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1
00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:31,391
Anybody hungry?
2
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:32,992
Bangle girl!
3
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:34,661
Good morning, Toby,
butter on roll?
4
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,563
Nah, I have a buttered roll
every day.
5
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,832
I'm in the mood
for something different.
6
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,734
Oh, you know what I'm in
the mood for?
7
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:43,536
You know, one of those things,
they're about this long.
8
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:45,672
- A Crueler.
- No, no, no.
9
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,440
It's like one of those things,
10
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,042
you know, they're kind of sweet
11
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,910
and has some kind of
cheese in it--
12
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:53,246
- A cheese Danish?
- No, no, it's Italian.
13
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,983
You know, you get them at
the Saint Gennaro Festival.
You know, they come like a tube.
14
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:59,386
- A cannoli!
- Yeah, that's it. A cannoli.
15
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,788
- That's what I want.
- I don't have any cannolis.
16
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,657
Oh...
I have a buttered roll then.
17
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,229
Good morning, Mr. Tupper.
18
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,197
Would you like anything
for breakfast?
19
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,867
Oh, uh,
what do you recommend?
20
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,404
Well, we've got bagels
or muffins.
21
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,705
Or I've got these.
22
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:20,006
Wow!
23
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,244
Wait, wait, uh, hello, Toby.
24
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,516
Whoa!
25
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,552
Time to make the donuts.
26
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:36,289
Come on, come on, not here.
27
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,425
Why? Would it be a problem
if people knew
28
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,893
you were doing
the bagel girl?
29
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,561
Shh!
30
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:43,596
I'm sorry,
you're just so cute.
31
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:49,569
Sweet are the compliments
from a pretty young girl
in the ears of an old man.
32
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,970
Look, tonight after work
33
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,572
we can make all the donuts
you want.
34
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:55,375
I can't. I have to study
for my comparative lit midterm.
35
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,243
Midterm?
Right.
36
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,480
Uh, well, I majored in English.
37
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,083
You know, if you want,
I can help you study.
38
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,852
As in any average
city, the older generation
39
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,288
believes in educating
the younger generation.
40
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:12,826
All right, let's talk about
the theme of redemption in
Henry Miller.
41
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:14,594
Forget Henry Miller.
42
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,932
You sure
you shouldn't be studying?
43
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,034
I'm taking the course
pass/fail.
44
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:26,239
No matter, I'm interested
in your physical prowess,
not your brain.
45
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,484
Uh...
46
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,952
- Come on!
- It's stuck, Stu,
47
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,787
but you think you could
do better, you give it a try.
48
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,759
Thank you.
49
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,333
Maybe I should go get a...
50
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:57,404
- Red and white?
- School colors.
51
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,839
They were giving them away
at the student union.
52
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,143
Let me have your attention,
class, please.
53
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,811
This is the assignment
for tomorrow.
54
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,312
Please copy
it in your notebooks.
55
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,417
Oh.
56
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,492
Say, you're a little advanced
in your lessons.
57
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,161
I've been studying
a little on the side.
58
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,544
This looks like
an ordinary piece of toast.
59
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:40,747
And it is, except that it,
and everything else here
60
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,283
is made
with atomic electricity.
61
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:53,760
Sort of took it
all out of you, huh?
62
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,929
Oh, why not?
You kiss like a vacuum cleaner.
63
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,898
I think I had
my first multiple orgasm.
64
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,801
Although I'm not
totally sure how you tell.
65
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,636
You're asking the wrong person.
66
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,839
I have mine.
One at a time.
67
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,049
Class dismissed.
68
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,696
Dad!
Left the chain on.
69
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,898
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, quick.
70
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,234
Get dressed! Get dressed!
It's my son.
71
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:38,905
What's going on?
72
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,575
- Oh!
- Are you okay?
73
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,811
Okay. My legs are asleep.
74
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,550
Dad? Dad, what's going on?
75
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,318
"Crazy legs" Martin.
76
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,922
Martin, is everything all right?
77
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,258
Oh, fuck!
It's my ex-wife.
78
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:02,629
Uh... Hold on.
I just got out of the shower.
79
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,399
Coming.
80
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,568
Hold on.
81
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,571
Ow!
82
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,541
Sorry.
83
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,775
- You okay?
- Yeah.
84
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:16,876
- Hi.
- Hi.
85
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:17,911
Hi.
86
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,750
Uh, Judith, Jeremy,
this is my--
87
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,453
- I don't know.
- ...friend Julie.
88
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,022
Oh, my God. You go to Wagner?
89
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,590
- Uh-huh.
- You're kidding?
90
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:33,093
I went to Wagner.
Who are your teachers?
91
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,595
Well, let's see. I have Herman
for social studies,
92
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:36,796
Feeder for music.
93
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:40,100
Feeder.
Oh, my God. He's horrible.
94
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,302
Do you like video games?
I just got Enviro-man.
95
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,104
- Look, Jeremy--
- How are the graphics?
96
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,940
Oh, it's awesome: 6 bit.
Come on. You got to see it.
97
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:52,645
Yeah. She seems... perky.
98
00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:53,947
Does she?
99
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,615
Martin, what are you doing?
100
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,451
I'm babysitting right now.
101
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,320
- What do you mean?
- How old is she?
102
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,489
She's in her 20s.
103
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,457
Oh, really?
How far in?
104
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,127
Just three weeks.
105
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,428
She'll be 28.
106
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:12,332
- Eventually.
- Martin, don't get me wrong.
107
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,235
I find all
of this very interesting.
108
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,636
Professionally, I mean.
109
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:20,507
It's sort of a Lolita fixation,
Electra complex,
110
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,676
Peter Pan syndrome
all rolled into one.
111
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,977
Look, she's young.
112
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,313
Okay, she's very young,
but she's smart and funny.
113
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,315
And I know
it's not going anywhere,
114
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,885
but we're just having fun.
115
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,821
Well, I think it's great,
as long as you're happy.
116
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,691
Uh, listen, do you think
that I could borrow
117
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:40,660
this relationship
for a postdoctoral paper?
118
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:44,097
Don't worry, I won't
use your name or anything.
119
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,832
Just... think about it.
120
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,636
If the good Lord had
wanted women to be doctors,
121
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,038
he would have fixed it
so men could have babies.
122
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,580
This is your mom's
apartment, isn't it?
123
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:03,083
- Or are we just
stealing this stuff?
- Sure you're okay with that?
124
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,785
No problem.
125
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,355
My aching back.
126
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,023
Just got to get a better grip.
127
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,469
Maybe we shouldn't,
you know, here.
128
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:25,538
Why? Are you afraid
we're going to get grounded?
129
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,213
What are you doing here?
130
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:37,217
I live here?
This is apartment two, isn't it?
131
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:40,286
Oh, yes, it is.
Who are you?
132
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:41,354
Very funny, mother.
133
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,590
Mother?
134
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,765
And who is this older
gentleman who's not your father?
135
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:55,168
Uh, hi.
I'm, um... Martin Dupper.
136
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,205
Martin, this is my mother.
137
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,910
"Fantastish."
138
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,413
It's nice to meet you,
Mrs. Gower.
139
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:09,149
- Martin's my new boyfriend.
- Oh, I see.
140
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,618
What happened to the skinhead
with a swastika tattoo?
141
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,788
Would you stop
calling it a swastika?
It was an "S."
142
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,090
We broke up,
like, a month ago.
143
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,558
Why, did he violate his parole?
144
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,929
You see,
we have this little game.
It's called "shock mom."
145
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:24,264
You win again.
146
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,332
Excuse me, I have some
things to put away.
147
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,168
Here, let me give
you a hand with those.
148
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,070
I think you have
your hands full already.
149
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,672
Can I get you kids
anything to drink?
Some tang, maybe.
150
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,241
Great. Great.
Do you have any crazy Straws?
151
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,811
Ah! I like this one.
He's got a sense of humor.
152
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,613
Excuse me.
Where did your kids meet?
153
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,183
Want some ice cream, Judy?
154
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,019
We met at work, actually.
155
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:49,356
- Really? You sell bagels?
- Mom!
156
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,924
Tell me about yourself, Martin.
157
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:55,662
Me? Mother, father, dead.
Live alone. 27 years old.
158
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,164
Unmarried.
Dye Tool maker. Well paid.
159
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,600
Work out at the YMCA
twice a week.
160
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,669
Wish I was a carnival acrobat.
161
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:05,405
I'm a book editor
in Whitestone Publishing.
162
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,475
Oh, I know it.
Does Linda Perry
still work there?
163
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,378
Yes! Yes, she does.
She's right down
the hall from me.
164
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,347
I see her every day.
Yeah, I love Linda.
How do you know her?
165
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:17,817
I'm suing her.
I catered to party for in March
and she still hasn't paid me.
166
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,286
I'll tell her you say hello.
167
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,389
If you're through embarrassing
me,
168
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,157
I think we'll go now.
Ready, Martin?
169
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,792
What if I decide to stay?
170
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,795
Yeah, okay.
Maybe I'll see
you around sometime.
171
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,431
Sure. Maybe next time
I'll get to meet your mom.
172
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,233
Great.
We can all go to the zoo.
173
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,502
Okay, time to go.
Bye, mom.
174
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,370
Don't forget to buckle up.
175
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,972
I'll have her home
by 11:00.
176
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,544
There are mothers,
and then there are mothers.
177
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,151
Gina, you're wrong.
178
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,254
You shut up.
How much you want to bet?
179
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:55,722
Make it 20.
180
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,057
You're on.
181
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,061
- Excuse me, Toby.
- Wait a second. I'll ask Martin.
182
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,164
Who is the taller guy?
Starsky or Hutch?
183
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:08,435
- Hutch.
- See? Told you.
184
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,003
He is not stupid.
185
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,173
You owe me 20 bucks.
I'll call you later.
186
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,476
What do you want?
Can't you see I'm busy here?
187
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:19,012
Toby,
I'm done for the night, so...
188
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,680
Yeah. You're free to leave.
189
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,015
Well, thank you, master.
190
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,883
Someday I'll repay you
for my freedom.
191
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,756
You put in one heck of a day.
192
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:31,591
Now, I think you
should just go home.
193
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,926
Go! Go ahead. Go.
194
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,429
Martin, why should I go home
and run up my phone bill
195
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,599
when I can stay here,
make calls for free
and get paid overtime?
196
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,168
- Where's your business sense?
- Now, look.
197
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,572
- Oh, hi.
- Hello.
198
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,741
Don't I know you
from somewhere?
199
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,843
I never forget a face.
200
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,212
Wait a second,
you're the bagel girl.
201
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,780
She's the bagel girl.
202
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,916
So where ya' bagels?
203
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,055
Oh.
204
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,191
Now I know
who gets all the cannolis.
205
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,593
Excuse us.
206
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,539
So, what do you want to do?
207
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,242
I don't know.
You know, just... Whatever.
208
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,679
It was fun
meeting your mom yesterday.
209
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,248
Fun?
That was fun?
210
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,150
Well, not like carnival fun,
but...
211
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,252
Ha, uh-uh. Anyway.
212
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,587
I was thinking
we could go out for a nice,
213
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,058
expensive, romantic dinner.
Your treat.
214
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,464
You know,
I'm not really hungry.
215
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,466
Did she say anything about me?
216
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:50,103
About us? I mean, dating,
or me just in general.
217
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,472
No. Do you want
to go see a movie?
218
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,240
Yeah, sure.
219
00:12:56,676 --> 00:13:00,747
Hey, you know,
your mom must have been
very young when she had you.
220
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:03,450
- Yeah, 18. Why?
- Just curious.
221
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:07,187
You know, I'm interested
in anything
that has to do with you.
222
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,723
So... Your mom never remarried, huh?
223
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:13,093
Does she date a lot?
And is that hard for you?
224
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,495
No, she doesn't.
And no, it's not.
225
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:19,199
Okay. Okay.
Just making conversation.
226
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,369
So, What movie
do you want to see?
227
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,271
- Let's see. Something scary.
- Okay.
228
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,678
Not too scary.
229
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,046
Wuss.
230
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:39,185
I was thinking
maybe you'd like to ask
your mom to join us.
231
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,954
Why?
232
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:45,191
In my case,
it's very simple, Julie.
I'm a man in love.
233
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:48,228
Since we got off on
the wrong foot, I thought
it'd be a nice gesture.
234
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:51,031
But, hey, it's just an idea.
235
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,433
And as far as I'm concerned,
236
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,335
she can go see
her own fucking movies.
237
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,914
They don't usually
put living people on stamps,
238
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,750
but the postmaster general
made an exception for Richard.
239
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,890
Not the most flattering
picture I've ever seen.
240
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,394
Look, Jude, I'd like to ask
your advice about something.
241
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:25,198
I think I'm going
to break up with Julie.
242
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,200
That's terrible!
243
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,469
I'm only halfway
through my paper.
244
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,072
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
245
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,908
What's the problem?
Is it the age difference?
246
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,411
Does she ultimately make you
feel older instead of younger?
247
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,816
Actually,
and here's where I'm curious
about your opinion.
248
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,218
I think I have a crush
on her mother.
249
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,589
My God! First the daughter
and now the mother?
250
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:52,225
Jesus, Martin. I hope
they don't have any pets.
251
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:55,095
Yes, that's the insight
I was looking for. Thank you.
252
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,464
- I'm sorry.
- Sheesh.
253
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,233
I've only met her once,,
but I thought she was terrific.
254
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,303
I'd like to ask her out,
but obviously I don't
want to hurt the daughter.
255
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:06,206
I don't want the mother
to think I'm asking her
just because she's the mother.
256
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,441
Like I have some kind of mother
thing, which I don't.
257
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:11,444
Uh... Can I just
take a few notes here?
258
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,147
Might be a grant in this.
259
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,336
Hi, Martin.
260
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,139
Mmm! Toothpaste.
261
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,775
I'm really glad
you invited me over
262
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,044
because my roommate
put the hanger on the door.
263
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,346
I think she's going
to lose her virginity tonight.
264
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,315
So what's on TV?
265
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,787
Uh...
266
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:57,924
Look, Julie, I don't think
we should watch TV right now.
267
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,999
What do you want to do?
268
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,502
I don't think
we should do that, either.
269
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,071
Do what?
270
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,773
Where did I leave my keys?
271
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,312
Julie.
272
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,614
Oh...
273
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,516
- Could you--
- Could you what?
274
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:27,420
Julie!
275
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,758
I don't think we should
see each other anymore.
276
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,027
I don't want to leave you.
277
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,362
Okay. That's cool.
278
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,831
Oh.
279
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,133
Do you want me to take
my hand out of your pants?
280
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,036
I think that'd be appropriate.
281
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:51,644
Look, Julie,
I really like you a lot.
282
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,747
But the problem is--
283
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:55,215
I wish to marry your mother.
284
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,050
I just don't
see us going anywhere.
285
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,854
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, don't be. I totally agree.
286
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,790
- You do?
- Totally.
287
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:07,827
Actually, I sort of have
a thing for my lab partner.
288
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,500
Oh, well, that's terrific.
See? Right?
289
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,036
That's perfect.
Everybody's happy.
No hard feelings.
290
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,705
No hard feelings.
291
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:23,076
Well, I guess
I'll see you tomorrow.
292
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,711
I'll save you cinnamon bun.
293
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,684
Uh, look, Julie,
294
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:34,254
just one last thing
before you go,
295
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,157
and I totally understand
if you say no, but...
296
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,894
I was thinking
about asking out your mom.
297
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,564
- My mom?
- I know it's a little unusual.
298
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,067
- My mom?
- And if it's too weird for you--
299
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,569
no,
it's not too weird for me.
300
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,805
But why would anyone
want to go out with my mom?
301
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,108
- Well--
- She always smells so nice.
302
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:58,011
Just like clothes
when they first come back
from the laundry.
303
00:17:58,011 --> 00:18:01,614
She seems... neat.
304
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,583
Try living with her
for 20 years.
305
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,352
Oh, she is so annoying.
306
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,288
I mean, she thinks she's funny,
which she's not,
307
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,690
and, God, you should
see her without makeup.
308
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,626
But, hey, if you want
to go out with her, be my guest.
309
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,129
Okay.
310
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,298
There might be one other
problem, though.
311
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,134
- What's that?
- She sort of hates you.
312
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,570
See ya.
313
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,313
- I never let that stop me.
- I know.
314
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:38,651
.
315
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,688
There's no such thing
as vegetarian Pigs & Blankets,
Mrs. Kravitz.
316
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:45,025
Yeah, right.
Yeah, right. Uh-huh.
317
00:18:45,025 --> 00:18:47,027
Well, there's just dough,
Mrs. Kravitz.
318
00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:50,730
Mother, what does one
do when one is in love?
319
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,532
How does one go about...
320
00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:56,436
...informing the other party?
321
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,139
Well, without the pigs,
it's just blankets.
322
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:02,108
Right. Okay.
Bye, Mr. Kravitz.
323
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,548
- Hi.
- Well, if it isn't
Humbert Humbert.
324
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,016
What a surprise.
325
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,152
Well, you know,
it's just on my lunch hour,
326
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,554
so I thought
I'd drop by and say... hello?
327
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,656
- Why?
- Well, actually,
328
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,526
I just wanted to let you know
in case Julie
hasn't mentioned it,
329
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:24,431
which I'm sure she has,
but Julie and I aren't
seeing each other anymore.
330
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,766
No, she didn't tell me.
What happened.
331
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,702
Did you leave
her for a younger woman?
332
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,638
I think that'd be impossible
without going to jail.
333
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,442
Ha-- talk yourself out of that.
334
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:39,045
Look, I'm probably way
out of line here,
335
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:42,449
but can I buy
you dinner sometime?
336
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,084
You want to go out with me?
337
00:19:44,084 --> 00:19:47,120
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I don't actually
have to go with you.
338
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,255
I just thought maybe
I could buy it for you.
339
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:53,259
Martin, I don't make it
a habit to date my
daughter's ex boyfriends.
340
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,662
Of course, they're usually 19,
so it's not an issue.
341
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,765
- Can I help you?
- That's okay.
342
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:02,435
Look, Mrs. Gibb, do you have
a first name, by any chance?
343
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,671
- Kate.
- Kate.
344
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:08,675
Listen, Kate,
Julie and I,
I mean, it was nothing.
345
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:09,909
She meant nothing to me.
346
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,945
Well, that makes
a mother happy.
347
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,381
No, no, no, I meant
nothing to her, either.
348
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,649
- Are you saying my
daughter's shallow?
- No.
349
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,152
How about coffee? Can I just buy
a cup of coffee?
350
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:22,222
- I don't think so.
- How about a cheeseball?
351
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:26,026
Ooh! Hot.
Ooh!
352
00:20:26,026 --> 00:20:28,795
How about a lift over
to the burn unit?
353
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,698
Come on. Come on.
What do you think?
354
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,067
Thanks for stopping by.
355
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:43,777
Listen, I have a great idea.
356
00:20:43,777 --> 00:20:46,880
Why don't you go out
with my son,
and then we'll be even.
357
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,249
He's only 13,
but he's very mature.
358
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,151
And really,
I think you'd like him.
359
00:20:51,151 --> 00:20:52,952
He's kind of like me.
360
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:07,934
Martin, I thought you had a job.
361
00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:13,006
Listen, I've got a terrific
hors d'oeuvre recipe
you might want to try.
362
00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:15,542
- Oh, yeah?
- Uh-huh. You take a little
bit of tomato sauce,
363
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,477
little bit of cheese,
put it on English muffin
364
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,179
and just slap it
in the toaster oven.
365
00:21:19,179 --> 00:21:21,715
- Now, you might
want to write this down.
- Look, Martin,
366
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:25,018
despite the fact that you sleep
with college girls, you seem
like a decent enough guy.
367
00:21:25,018 --> 00:21:27,120
But I have
a very successful business,
368
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,956
a terrific daughter
whom, I believe you've met.
369
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,659
And who, may I say, you've done
a terrific job raising.
370
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:35,929
Kiss ass.
Anyway, Martin, I'm very happy.
371
00:21:35,929 --> 00:21:39,833
And I just don't want anyone
or anything to make my life
more complicated right now.
372
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:48,575
Yes, you do. Come on.
Everybody does, you know?
373
00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:51,878
I mean, what about romance?
What about that?
Romance is--
374
00:21:51,878 --> 00:21:53,446
The sacrament,
375
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:57,017
and children come,
and children is a sacrament.
376
00:21:57,017 --> 00:22:00,086
And all our lives
we live on a banana plantation.
377
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,756
Shit, I lost
my train of thought.
378
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,192
- Romance.
- Right. Right. Romance is...
379
00:22:09,262 --> 00:22:12,499
It's important.
It's very, very important.
380
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:16,136
And I'm usually a little bit
more articulate than this, but.
381
00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:19,673
I'm flattered.
I really am.
382
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:21,841
But I'm just
not interested in romance.
383
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,011
Well, we'll see about that.
384
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:52,005
♪ Strangers in the night ♪
385
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:58,578
♪ Exchanging glances
wondering in the night ♪
386
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:04,217
♪ What were the chances
we'd be sharing love ♪
387
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:08,221
♪ Before the night was through
♪.
388
00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,190
You earned her.
You got it.
389
00:23:13,326 --> 00:23:16,596
♪ Something in your eyes ♪
390
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:22,235
♪ Was so inviting
something in your smile ♪
391
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:27,574
♪ Was so exciting
something in my heart ♪
392
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:32,479
♪ Told me I must have you. ♪
393
00:23:37,283 --> 00:23:39,486
♪ Strangers in the night ♪
394
00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:41,121
Hope to see you next week.
395
00:23:41,121 --> 00:23:43,123
So until then, good night.
396
00:23:43,123 --> 00:23:46,126
♪ Strangers in the night ♪
30016
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