All language subtitles for Dream On (1990) S03E14 AI.en

Come on, come on, come on,
you are such a moron.

I can't believe you told
the waitress I was on the
Olympic bobsledding team.

- That's so stupid.
- Well, that joke only works
once every four years.

- I gotta get it in while I can.
- Why are you always
embarrassing me with women?

Because it's fun.

Your ex-wife is here,
and she has that special glow

she's had since your divorce.

Thank you.

That bounce and a step,
that certain twinkle,

that essence that says,

"My life is better now."

I'm gonna kill you.

A simple
"Judith is here" would do.

Hey!

Eddie.

Mind if I come in?

- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

Hey, tell that husband
of yours I really had fun
at his golf tournament.

- He has a golf tournament?
- Oh, yeah, the Richard Stone

celebrity invitational
to end world hunger.

Golf. There's an exciting sport.

Actually, man,
it was a real nail-biter.

I mean, it looked like
the president was gonna win,

but then Sting edged him out
with a 30-foot putt on the 18th.

Mmm, that is exciting.
Don't you have somewhere to go?

Nope.

- So, what's up?
- I need to talk to you
about something.

May I call my attorney?

- It's about splitting up
the pictures.
- Oh, I'm out of here.

No, stay.
Would you like some coffee?

No, I'll let you two talk--

- With cream or sugar?
- No, get out of here.

- See you, Judith.
- Martin--

Would you like some coffee?

Martin,
I know it's hard for you.

Toby, could you
get us coffee, please?

I could get you coffee.

I could also stick my head
in a paper shredder.

Just coffee for now. Thanks.

Martin, it's time
we split up our pictures.

Judith, come on.
Remember what happened
last time we tried to do that?

It wasn't that bad.

- You spit on me.
- I did not spit.

I was talking animatedly.

Martin,
it's been four years, you--

All right.
All right, fine. Fine.

I'll just wear a poncho.

Oh, here's a picture
of you and your dad.

Oh, thank you.

- Here's one of your mom.
- Thank you.

See, this isn't so hard.

Oh, look,
here's one of your aunts.

How are they?

Oh, oh, I'm Mrs. Tweaky.

I'm hospitality,
and this is Mrs. Johnson.

She's refreshment.

And Mrs. Hawthorne is music,

and, uh, Mrs. Kibbs
is parking problem.

They're keeping busy.

Hey, Jeremy, recognize this?

Nope.

It's this apartment
before we move down.

Neat.

Our first real apartment.

Yeah.

Geez, I am-- I don't know.

Honey, what do you think?

Love it!

- We're 14 days pregnant.
- We're very happy for you.

Well, plumbing works.

Are you okay?

I am better than okay.

I'm home.

What do you--

Sold to that gentleman there.

No, no, no, no, no.

Judith, there's no way
we can afford this.

Then don't take it.

But-- but--
but, Martin, it's perfect.

I mean,
look at the exposed brick.

- And all this wonderful light.
- Then take it.

Martin,
we'll do it early American.

Judith, you know,
all our furniture's
from my aunt.

It's-- it's early Vivian.

We will have a mahogany
dining room table here.

And next to it, a wonderful
18th century China cabinet.

Inside we'll have
all of our Steuben glasses.

Our glasses are from Texaco.

You know, they have
smiley faces on them, Jude, I--

And over here, we'll have
the baby's crib,

and there will be
your writing desk.

You'll write at your desk,
you'll go, "Judith,"

I'll come running over,
I'll read it.

It'll be so good,
it'll sell a million copies.

We'll have so much money
that we could afford

to live in any apartment
in New York City.

But we won't want to, because
we love this one so much.

Look, that's very touching.

But if you take much longer,
you'll have to pay
the first month's rent.

Oh, yeah.

Judith, we can't. You know,
we just don't have the money.

You're right,
I know, but still--

No. No, now, I'm gonna
have to put my foot down here.

We absolutely
cannot take this apartment.

- Who wants a cookie?
- Okay.

You know, I knew this place
was perfect the moment I saw it.

There you go. Cookie?

Who's this doofus?

That doofus is your father.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Can I burn this?

I mean, really,
is there a burn pile?

Martin, don't be ridiculous,
I mean, this is
the fun of pictures.

You get to see
what you used to look like.

Oh, really?

Well, I looked really awful,
and so I cut myself out.

Look at this one.

Oh, that's was in college. Look.

You guys really look stoned.

Oh, no, that--
that's from the flash.

Yeah, yeah, the flashes
were much stronger then,

because the cameras were...

weaker.

Hey, Tupper,
this is really good stuff.

Thanks, Kelly.

Steppenwolf is such a savage
indictment of bourgeois society,

don't you think?

Oh, yeah. Oh. No.

I mean, I just think that, um--

I-- I
really don't get it.

Oh, I mean, you know,
Hesse, Sartre, Kerouac,

they are fucking geniuses,
you know,

but-- but in my work, I'm really
taking it to the next level.

Wow, that must feel, like, so...

- neat.
- Yeah, but it comes at a cost.

What I'm really doing is...

- ...baring my soul on the page.
- Sure.

But still, you know,
I mean, I feel an obligation
to share my vision.

Well, do you think that
maybe I could read some of it?

Well, it's still not totally...

- Written.
- ...formed, yeah.

But what about you, Judith?

I mean,
what do you want from life?

Sometimes I really wanna
join the Peace Corps.

Oh, wow.

Other times I just
wanna, you know, garden.

Of course,
I guess I could probably
garden in the Peace Corps.

I've had enough of this waiting.

What are you going to do?

And you and me, baby.

Just you and me,
we spend the whole
evening together, huh, baby?

Hey, what's up, man?

- Oh, hey, man.
- Hey, listen, man.

I was just checking out that
women's lib rally on the quad.

Man, this "burn the bra" thing
is really right on.

I'm all for it.

Uh, Judith,
this is my friend, Eddie.

- He goes to NYU.
- Hey, what's happening, mama?

Listen, I just want you to know

this multiple orgasm thing
doesn't freak me out one bit.

Thank you.

Eddie, Judith and I were having
a really intense discussion,

you know, so...

Aw, man, is he giving you

that Hermann Hesse
writer bullshit?

Oh, Eddie, oh, don't.

Listen, he's a really nice guy,

but he's just
trying to get laid.

- Not too tight, is it, Cotton?
- Oh, no, there's plenty of room.

Eddie, don't you have to go
get your consciousness raised.

Later.

He's-- he's a really funny guy.

He's my best friend.

See? Isn't this nice?

Just lying here together?

Yeah, yeah, it is, but--

We won't just jump in overnight.

We'll ease him.

It'll be so gradual,
nobody will notice a thing.

Martin, I've never-- You know.

- Oh.
- I could have, I just didn't.

Oh.

Oh, well, that's cool.

You know, we'll just be here.

Near each other.

Are you mad?
Put that thing away.

Oh.

You know, your first time
is something really special.

And-- and whoever the guy is,
I'm not saying you should be me,

but he should be
really into who you are.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I think I do.

I think sex is an expression
of love in its purest form.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It should be
glorious and lyrical.

Oh, yeah!

Alan, Kathy,
could you guys like--

Fuck you, Tupper.

Uh...

- Anyway...
- That's good.

...I think making love
is the spiritual communion

of two souls,
just uniting as one.

Oh, yeah, I like that.
Oh, yeah. I like that.

You have to trust the person

to share the blossoming
of your womanhood.

Oh, I'm close.
Oh, I'm too close!

Ugh!

Okay, why don't we just cuddle?

Here's one of Alan and Kathy.

Oh, yeah,
let me help you with that.

Oh, it's
Jeremy's first Christmas.

Let me see.

Look at that. Look at that.

- I definitely want this one.
- So do I.

I refuse to die
until I have it, I refuse!

All right, you can have it.
If I get Jeremy at the beach,
Jeremy playing soccer,

and Jeremy to be named later.

Deal.

My first
week in Whitestone.

God, this has got to be,
like, what, 10 years ago?

Have you really
been there for ten years?

Not that long. I mean,
my father worked at his for 40.

So you've only got,
like, 30 more to go.

Uh, this is--

This is just
a temporary job for me.

You see, actually, I'm a writer,
so I don't expect to--

Oh, you're a writer?
How exciting.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to speak out of turn.

No, no, no.

Uh, I don't know
exactly what you'll do.

I mean, I've never had
a secretary before.

I guess, uh,
answering the phones.

Oh, answering the phones is
my favorite secretarial skill.

How do you like your coffee?

No, no, no.
You don't have to get me coffee.

It's no trouble at all.

You know, Doctor,
that girl can bake you a cake.

Almost as well as she can shoot
the dust off a running dog.

- Uh, Miss Pedalbee?
- Please.

Call me Toby, Mr. Tupper.

Okay. Toby, do you, uh--

Do you have any references?

Is something wrong?

You see, my last employer
died on the job.

We had a very close
working relationship,

and he developed
a bleeding ulcer.

I guess he just
kept things bottled up inside.

I'm sorry.

If references are a problem--

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I think I have all I need.

And, uh, Toby, I like my coffee

with cream and no sugar.

I'll remember that, Mr. Tupper.

What am I, a slave girl?

Nice work, Picasso.

Nah.

Yeah, yeah, I guess I'll just,

uh, give this one to Toby.

Don't believe it.

You guys skied?

We used to.

Why is that so surprising?

Well, you both so uncoordinated.

I'm caught. I'm caught!

- Can we go home now?
- What?

This isn't gonna work.

Jude, we just got off
to a bumpy start, that's all.

Martin, you killed a dog.

I didn't mean to!

Suddenly, this little white dog

ran out right
beneath my headlight.

I can't believe you brought
that up. See, you promised.

Oh, God, we didn't even go back.

Yeah, well, it was
a little late for "I'm sorry."

Jude, we came here
to be together,
you know what I mean?

Just the two of us,
just away from everything.

Well, let's not let a little
dead puppy stand in our way.

It was not a puppy.
It was an old dog.

An old dog that just
ran out into the road.

It could have been a suicide.

Let's just drop it, all right?

No, I've been trying to
since Connecticut.

Okay, okay.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry. Okay.

Okay.

Look, why don't we do
something special tonight?

Like what?

I can think of something.

Yeah, well, it didn't
used to be special, you know,

but it is now
since we do it so rarely.

All right, all right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You know, but it has been
two and a half months.

I mean, come on, there are
prison terms shorter than that.

Martin,
it's very difficult for me

to be intimate
when I don't feel intimate.

Well, maybe we could
feel intimate if we could just,
you know, like, be intimate.

I don't think it works that way.

Maybe we could
just play naked twister.

You know, I keep my boots on.

Looks good.

We're just going through
a rough time, that's all.

We'll get through this, okay?

Yeah.

It looks better.

- I've got a great idea.
- That's not so good.

Maybe we could have
a really romantic meeting,
you know, like go out to dinner.

- And go see a movie
or something.
- Oh, great. Great.

We'll sit in the dark
for two hours and not talk.

Of course.
That's what we do at home.

If you don't wanna see a movie,

just say,
"I don't wanna see a movie."

No, I wanna see a movie.
I'm dying to see a movie.

You know, I just
can't wait to see a movie.

- What's playing?
- Benji the Hunted.

Will you stop with the dog?

You don't think
I feel bad about that, huh?

I feel horrible. Okay?
In 20 years, some dog will get
my slippers and spit on them.

Because he knows who I am.

Now, come on, will you?

I never killed
anything before and...

It's okay.

It's okay, it's not your fault.

Look, we aren't gonna
talk about this again, okay?

We're gonna-- We're gonna
have a good weekend, right?

- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah.

- You brought work?
- Just a little light reading.

I thought this was
supposed to be our time alone.

You have never been
supportive of my career.

What you talking about?
I started working at Whitestone
so you could go back to school.

I am talking
about emotional support.

That is bullshit.
I have always been there
for you all the nights.

I've stayed up with you studying
and brought you cups of coffee.

I typed your thesis
when you had 103 fever.

What about that?
You know, this is bullshit.

I'd have to
justify my life for you.

You're right. You did.
You were great then.

You really were,
and you brought me tea,
and held my hand,

told me everything
was gonna be okay, it was great.

God, I was sick as a...

Cow. A cow.

I just-- I got car mouth, okay?

Just hold that thought.
Okay, just wait.

Just two-- Half second.

Have you seen my toothbrush?

Shit, um, I think I forgot it.

You forgot my toothbrush?

- I'm sorry.
- How could you
forget my toothbrush?

It's right there in the
toothbrush holder next to yours.

- It's an inch away.
- I was rushing to pack.

I guess I just
grabbed one toothbrush.

Yeah, yours.
You grabbed your toothbrush.

Mine is home alone
in the toothbrush holder.

- This is not that important.
- No, not to you. You have yours.

What am I supposed to do?
Use the finger method?

That's an effective way
of fighting cavities.

Use my toothbrush. I mean,
what is the big fucking deal?

The big fucking deal
is that you're packing for one.

This isn't working, Martin.

So, did you guys
have fun skiing?

- Huh? Yeah. Yeah.
- Hey, why don't you
take the picture?

No, no thanks, I don't--

- It's yours.
- It's yours.

- Yours.
- Yours.

Mine.

Hold it. What was that last one?

It's Jeremy's,
the giant pumpkin.

- No, no, I want that one.
- No, no. No, no, no, no.

- It's my Jeremy
to be named later.
- It's later, and I'm naming it.

You can't just name any Jeremy.
I made him this costume, remember?

I took the picture when
I took him trick or treating
for three hours.

If it was so special,
then how come it's been
rotting in a box for two years?

- You spit on me again.
- I did not.

All right, fine.
You didn't spit on me again.

Jeremy, could you hand me
that paper towel? Thank you.

Hey, come on, you guys.
Look, this is a great shot.

- The couch.
- That's an insurance photo.

You take pictures of things
that are insured so that you can

get reimbursed
if something happens to them.

I wish they had spit insurance.

Each of us
has his dream, his hope,

a goal toward which we
struggle from day to day.

But the most fortunate among us
are those who have
someone to share the dream.

Can't that weight until later?

Shh, shh, shh, this is good.
This is really, really good.

Oh, I'm sorry. You were saying?

Honey, I want you to know
I'm not selling insurance.

I'm selling peace of mind.

Now, God forbid
your place burns down.

Shit.

Mommy!

In a minute, Jeremy.

Oh, damn it.

God forbid you get robbed.

Chicken is burnt.
Totally ruined.

Great, it's just like
last night's meatloaf.

Now we have a matching set.

Please speak with Mrs. Lewis.

Judith, I'm trying to write.

Now, God forbid that there
should be an earthquake.

- An earthquake in New York?
- Mm-hmm, 1783, a big one.

Now, we're overdue,
don't you think?

Mommy!

Jeremy,
Mommy will be right with you.

She's on the phone.

- Daddy!
- What?

I want Mommy!

Now, here
in the comprehensive package,

you get covered
for hurricanes, lightning,
water damage of any kind.

God forbid
your pipe should burst.

- Excuse me.
- No, no.

He's not obsessive.
He's a writer. Yeah.

Judith,
is this really necessary?

We have to have insurance.

Our couch is not gonna
get hit by lightning.

- Mommy!
- In a minute, Jeremy!

- Don't yell at him.
- I'm not, I'm yelling at you.

- But why are you yelling at me?
- Because I'm 26 years old,
I'm living in New York,

and I'm getting
fucking earthquake insurance.

I poop on the potty.

What?

Jeremy, why don't you
take the picture, okay?

Really? Cool.

- Is that all right with you?
- Yeah.

In fact, why don't we let him
have all the pictures?

- Yeah, why don't we?
- Awesome.

Here you go.

What's this?

- Oh, my God.
- Forgot we took those.

You were supposed
to get rid of these pictures.

- Hey, hey, Jeremy.
- Give me that!

I got him, I got him, I got him.