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1
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,688
You have real talent.
2
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:30,423
Excuse me, Mr. Da Vinci?
3
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,325
Barbara Truesdale's agent's
on two.
4
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,129
Uh, do you mind?
5
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:37,797
Oh, no, go right ahead.
6
00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:39,466
She's at it again.
7
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,136
Jeanette, good morning.
8
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,804
Martin.
9
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,940
Oh, no, no, no, no.
10
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,041
I hate that Martin.
11
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,576
What? What is it?
Is it bad news?
12
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:52,479
No, it's just expensive news.
13
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,881
My client rejected your offer.
14
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,649
We're looking for something
15
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:59,219
in the neighborhood of 250,000.
16
00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:01,721
Oh, I try to stay
out of that neighborhood.
17
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:03,990
Jeanette, come on. 250,000?
18
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,092
- I think this is a shitty book.
- That's true.
19
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:08,695
However, her last shitty book
sold half a million copies.
20
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,196
Now, you paid 80 for that,
21
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,999
and this one is well over
three times as shitty.
22
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,235
Wait a second.
I don't think it's that shitty.
23
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,803
Tell you what.
24
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,538
You're willing to make it 300?
25
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,206
You got yourself
a two-book deal.
26
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,844
Done,
but I'm telling you, this next
one better be absolute garbage.
27
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,012
Not to worry.
28
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:28,281
I promise it will really suck.
29
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,518
Aren't you going to ask me
to have dinner?
30
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,520
Uh, listen,
31
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,355
I'm probably
way out of line here,
32
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,323
but, uh, would you like
to have dinner
33
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,192
sometime tonight?
34
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:41,361
- Excuse me, Romeo?
- What?
35
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:44,197
Filing-wise,
do you want MC
before MA or after MO?
36
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:47,867
- Shh!
- Look, it's just that
some people like MC before MA.
37
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,070
- Why, I don't know.
- Toby, I don't care.
38
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:53,540
- Uh...
- Well, if you don't care.
39
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,709
Uh, was that a yes?
40
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,210
Yeah, yeah.
41
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:01,014
Um, how about, uh,
Cote du Journe in the village?
42
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,082
Eight o'clock?
43
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,616
Oh, that's perfect.
44
00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:05,618
Perfect, huh? I'll see you then.
45
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:06,886
How will I recognize you?
46
00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,755
Well, I'm 5'5"
47
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,757
and I'm wearing
this kind of, um,
48
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,492
white and gold business-y thing,
49
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:13,727
and I'm Black.
50
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,530
Well, that's one of our
surprises tonight.
51
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,965
And the other is this.
52
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,767
Well, I'm... I'm white.
53
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,402
Great.
54
00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:24,270
But I'll have no trouble
picking you out.
55
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,742
Okay, then this one goes here,
56
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,978
and this one also here.
57
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,080
Okay, that's it.
58
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,949
I--
59
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,083
Hello?
60
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,492
So you're saying just because
she wrote a lousy book,
61
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,293
her husband should leave her?
62
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,662
No, no, no.
See, that's not my point.
63
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:51,164
Oh, get out of here.
64
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,269
Get it out.
65
00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,505
All right.
66
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:03,543
How you doing?
67
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,078
Good.
68
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,648
So, uh, what was your point?
69
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:09,949
I have no idea.
70
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:12,886
You can have some of mine.
71
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,028
Um...
72
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,597
You know, you--
73
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,567
- you're really...
- Black.
74
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:28,635
...great.
75
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,337
No, and I'm just so...
76
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,906
- White.
- Glad we could
get together like this.
77
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,240
Yeah, me too.
78
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,375
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
79
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,810
I don't...
80
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,247
- White.
- Black.
- Lily White.
81
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,650
- What are you thinking about?
- Uh...
82
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,652
I can't tell you.
83
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:46,820
Arugula.
84
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,655
Arugula?
85
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,924
You know, it's that--
that lettuce-y stuff that--
86
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,326
- It's not really lettuce.
- Yeah, I know what it is.
87
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,229
That just seems like
a funny thing to think about.
88
00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:58,298
No.
89
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,402
Sorry, honey.
90
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:03,903
I saw him first.
91
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,342
Kind of weird, huh?
92
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,378
What?
93
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,248
This whole, um, Arugula thing.
94
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,152
Ah, oh.
95
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,453
- You mean us?
- Mm-hmm.
96
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:21,855
No. No, come on.
97
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,790
It's not weird.
98
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,929
Alright,
it's a little weird, but, uh...
99
00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:32,198
Hey, I think I can deal with it.
100
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,501
Are you sure?
101
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:47,180
I'm not so set in my ways
that I cannot embrace change
102
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:51,251
if Victor promises
an enrichment of experience.
103
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:54,220
]
104
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,893
- Just try it.
- No way.
105
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,961
No, you call it calamari
if you want to.
106
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,697
To me, it's still just squid.
107
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,166
- But it's really good squid.
- Forget it. Forget it.
108
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,134
I never eat anything
cooked in its own ink.
109
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,371
- Oh, come on.
- Last night you made me
eat a pigeon.
110
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,440
It was squab, and you liked it.
111
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,241
Now eat the squid.
112
00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:16,576
- I--
- Here.
113
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:17,644
Eat it.
114
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,181
Mm.
115
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,716
That was very brave.
116
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,345
Experiment, 1112,
117
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,714
7:00 a.m. respiration
instantly quickened.
118
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,892
522, collapse.
119
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,464
320, throwsiness,
deep respiration.
120
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:20,206
7:00 a.m.,
injected one cubic centimeter
of a 2% solution.
121
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,478
7:05 appears normal again.
122
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,687
8 o'clock, subject quiet.
123
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:43,029
Oh, my.
124
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:46,266
You know what they say
about us white guys.
125
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,734
Martin.
126
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:53,606
Have you ever gone out
with a Black woman before?
127
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:56,109
Well, um...
128
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,277
no.
129
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,679
No. But my best friend is Black.
130
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,981
- Oh, God.
- No, no.
131
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,117
Not some of my
best friends are Black.
132
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,785
My entire best friend is Black.
133
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,188
You'd like him.
And not just because he's Black.
134
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,523
Not that there's anything wrong
with that. He's a Black guy.
135
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,592
It doesn't help
to repeat yourself so much.
136
00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,627
I'm just gonna
stop saying Black, okay?
137
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,029
Okay.
138
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,764
What do you want? You, uh--
139
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,600
You ever been out
with a white guy?
140
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:21,968
Yeah.
141
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,336
Kinda got pretty serious,
142
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,539
but, um,
it just didn't end too well.
143
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,641
- Was it the racial issue?
- No.
144
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,544
It was a "he fucked
everything that moved" issue.
145
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:34,147
That's a--
that's a pretty good issue.
146
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:42,455
Hey, hey, that's nice.
147
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,823
Very nice.
148
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,892
]
149
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,031
And it doesn't
bother you at all.
150
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,365
Absolutely not.
151
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,069
- Where's the McGill Refile?
- Under B.
152
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,737
And when you go out with her,
153
00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:00,640
you don't feel at all
self-conscious?
154
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,375
Will you stop?
155
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,111
- Why? Why is it under B?
- You said you didn't care.
156
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:09,149
You know, I know exactly
what you're going through.
157
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:13,153
I myself was involved
in an interracial relationship.
158
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,588
Were you really?
159
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:17,657
Yes, I was.
160
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,727
And everywhere we went, intolerance.
161
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,630
Those icy stares,
those disapproving eyes.
162
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,665
- Yeah.
- Yeah, see? Not-- That's it.
163
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,933
Of course, he was Greek.
164
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,904
Maybe it's not the same thing,
but, you know,
165
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,872
it's been nine years.
166
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,641
I still can't eat souvlaki.
167
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,113
Well, I guess you were
just trying to be helpful.
168
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:48,755
What made you think
of Greek food?
169
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,624
No reason.
170
00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:53,426
There's Eddie.
171
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,661
You'll meet his date.
172
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,631
Hey, how you doing?
173
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:00,467
- What's up?
- Hi.
174
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,936
Oh, look! You have bookshelves.
175
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,804
I love bookshelves.
176
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,875
All arms and legs and no head.
177
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,877
I'd like you to meet Danica.
178
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:12,912
- How you doing?
- Hi.
179
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,881
And this is Jeanette.
180
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:17,050
- Hello.
- Hi.
181
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,952
Hey!
182
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,156
Hot! Hot!
183
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,424
Hot!
184
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,394
Just stirring
some flesh over here.
185
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,067
Yeah.
I'm sorry we're late.
186
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,435
My, uh-- my show ran over.
187
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,040
- What?
- Uh, nothing.
188
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,008
No, what? What?
Do I have food on my face?
189
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,711
No, no., uh, it's just that,
190
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,514
well, I've seen your show.
191
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,684
What does that mean,
"I've seen your show"?
192
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,419
Martin, what does that mean?
193
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,220
I can't be sure,
but I think it means
194
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,889
that she's seen your show.
195
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,257
Well, it's just that...
196
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,927
I think it's kind of silly.
197
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,363
That's all.
Oh, nothing personal.
198
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,599
Silly? How could I possibly
take that personally?
199
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,401
I mean, after all,
it is only called
200
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,036
The Eddie Charles Show.
201
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,239
I want the people
I like to like each other.
202
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,909
- Glass of wine, anybody?
- What flavors do you have?
203
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,079
You mean besides grape?
204
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,747
Okay.
205
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,088
Okay there, boys and girls.
Here we go.
206
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,056
- Hmm.
- Let's put this here and...
207
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,224
Careful with that.
208
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,928
I should've told you
that Danica's a vegetarian.
209
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:36,429
Oh, no, no, I'll eat chicken
210
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,131
as long as it's cooked.
211
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,968
- So how did you two meet?
- I was in a catalog.
212
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,770
He ordered you?
213
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:47,440
Danica was on my show.
Oh, excuse me, my silly show.
214
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,343
Laundry models,
the lies behind the lace.
215
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,479
What?
216
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:55,015
- I don't pick the titles.
- I didn't say anything.
217
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:58,451
Look, I think the shows actually
tackle some pretty big issues.
218
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,621
Yeah, I saw the one
about tits last week.
219
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,590
Oh, they were really big.
220
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,225
Come on,
those women are suffering.
221
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,626
They got back aches,
222
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,928
they got bra straps
cutting in their shoulders.
223
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,764
When the big swimsuit finale
224
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:14,100
was to expose the suffering.
225
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,102
We're heading into a horror,
and it's gonna get worse.
226
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,370
Who wants spanakopita?
227
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,139
Oh, nobody.
228
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,407
My sister caught that
229
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,609
and couldn't wear pants
for a month.
230
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,782
- So what do you do?
- I'm a literary agent.
231
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,283
She represents
Barbara Truesdale.
232
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,285
You remember, she wrote
Torture Me With Kisses.
233
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,020
Torture Me With Kisses?
234
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,755
Hmm, well,
with credentials like that,
235
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,957
you have every right
to make fun of my show.
236
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,327
I think we'd better
separate them right away.
237
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,529
Eat the food.
238
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,700
Have some chicken.
239
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,536
- I'll take a breast.
- You would.
240
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,004
Just chew.
241
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,372
I mean...
242
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,973
...we don't have to talk, right?
243
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:55,208
We can just chew.
244
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,486
Oh, shit!
245
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,655
Red wine. Great.
246
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,523
Yeah, I'm sorry.
247
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:14,027
Uh, would you, uh-- Yeah.
248
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,161
I'm sorry.
249
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,668
You know what I like? Weather.
250
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,611
Hello.
251
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,812
Look who's here.
252
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,681
Eddie Charles,
ladies and gentlemen.
253
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,884
Here it is. All cleaned.
254
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,819
Great.
You can hang it over there.
255
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,354
Oh, can I?
256
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,223
Well, I'll just take that
as a thank you.
257
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:46,760
Look, I told you you
didn't have to have it cleaned.
258
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,861
You're welcome.
259
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,297
Anyway, see ya.
260
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,366
- Hey, hey, wait.
- What?
261
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,969
- There's still a stain.
- What are you talking about?
262
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,138
There's a stain right here.
263
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,206
- Where?
- Come look in the light.
264
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,943
I don't see any stain.
265
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:06,646
- Right here.
- That's not where the stain was.
266
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,381
The stain was on this side.
267
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:11,251
Oh, my God, you're right.
This is a new stain.
268
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,720
- What kind of a cleaners
do you go to?
- They're good.
269
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,822
Oh, yeah, they're great.
And [indistinct] by five.
270
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,457
Give it to me.
I'll take it back.
271
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,626
So they can have another crack?
There's nothing on the back yet.
272
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,996
- You just don't
give me a break, will you?
- You don't give me a reason to.
273
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,809
Oh, no.
274
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,477
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
275
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,778
This is bad.
276
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,780
Oh, this is very, very bad.
277
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,982
- I mean, Martin.
- Martin--
278
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,085
- Martin's a great guy.
- He's a great guy.
279
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,787
I haven't known him long,
and I know he's a great guy.
280
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,023
- He's a good guy.
- Oh, he's a good guy.
281
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,691
- This is not good.
- Uh-uh.
282
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,970
Uh, no, no.
283
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,573
Just-- just tell her
I called to say hi.
284
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,640
Again.
285
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:16,449
Just a minute.
286
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:21,454
It's Eddie Charles,
ladies and gentlemen.
287
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,089
- You always do that?
- Martin.
288
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,924
- You got a minute?
- Uh, well, actually--
289
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,559
This whole Jeanette thing,
you know?
290
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,561
- Uh, what--
- She wouldn't see me last night.
291
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,130
And she blew me off
again tonight.
292
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,598
Uh-huh.
293
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,466
Oh, man, don't be so paranoid.
294
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,368
Uh, I'm sure
it's just a coincidence.
295
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,270
I don't know, man.
296
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,205
But she didn't even
return my calls today.
297
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:42,542
Well, um,
maybe she was just, uh,
298
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,110
busy at work or something.
299
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,880
Power surge.
300
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,548
Neighbors
must be done vacuuming.
301
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,651
Everything was going so great.
302
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:54,454
I mean, we'd already gotten past
the whole black-white thing,
303
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,456
you know, and...
304
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,724
...I don't get it.
305
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,092
And maybe you never will.
306
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,594
Well, I have an
early call tomorrow...
307
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,596
...which isn't to say
308
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,732
that I don't feel bad
about you and Jeanette.
309
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,535
Because you know I do.
310
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,671
You gonna get the door?
311
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,140
I guess I'll have to.
312
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,117
[chuckles nervously
313
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,920
- Pizza guy.
- Pizza guy!
314
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,722
Oh, God, am I glad to see you.
315
00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:31,124
Hey, easy pal, it's just pizza.
316
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,859
- 11,80.
- Yeah, I'll get my wallet.
317
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,627
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
I got it here.
318
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,698
- Here, keep the change.
- Thanks.
319
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:39,866
It's an $8 tip.
320
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,601
8,20. Thanks.
321
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,638
Oh, great, the pizza's here.
322
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:49,075
Oh, and Martin's here too.
323
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:50,877
Oh!
324
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,946
Hey, come on,
how did you know I was here?
325
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,447
I didn't.
326
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,583
Well, what?
What are you doing here?
327
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:59,886
Um, I'm here for pizza.
328
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,822
[all laughing awkwardly
329
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,725
Come on, how did you know
there was gonna be pizza here?
330
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:14,801
I have just had
a great mental illumination.
331
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,269
Wait a minute.
332
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,171
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
333
00:17:19,673 --> 00:17:21,474
Oh, you poor stupid fool.
334
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,511
You big stupid jerk.
335
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,915
Stupid, insubordinate jackass.
336
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,684
I don't fucking believe this.
337
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:33,753
Martin, I'm sorry, man.
We didn't know how to tell you.
338
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,456
Oh, really? Really?
Well, this was a creative way.
339
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,492
How could you--
you two can't stand each other.
340
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,628
Come on, you have
absolutely nothing in common.
341
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,297
- Still black, I guess.
- Uh-huh.
342
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,166
Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait.
343
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:49,536
I get it. You just like
him better 'cause he's Black.
344
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,338
Oh, no, Martin, no.
345
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:54,574
I-- I just like him better.
346
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,346
Okay.
347
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,117
- Okay.
- I don't care who he is,
348
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:07,253
ain't nobody gonna make a fool
out of me and get away with it.
349
00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:11,524
Okay, you and me.
Right here, right now.
350
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,627
- Martin, come on,
you're acting like a jerk.
- Oh, really? I'm a jerk?
351
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,663
You're sleeping with
my girlfriend and I'm a jerk.
352
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,298
Martin,
we didn't sleep together.
353
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,367
Oh.
354
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,470
Are you going to?
355
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,143
No, Martin, no.
If you're mad at me,
you're not mad at him.
356
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,846
No, no. My mad at you is nothing
compared to my mad at him.
357
00:18:32,846 --> 00:18:35,081
Excuse me. Come on.
358
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,149
Come on, come on.
359
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,823
Oh, boy, come on.
360
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,925
You always do this to me.
361
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,093
When?
362
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,895
Seventh grade, Carl Rosner.
363
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,897
Man, you wouldn't even
ask her to dance.
364
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,165
Not on a slow serve.
365
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:54,834
- Martin, that was 20 years ago.
- Guys!
366
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,237
Whoo.
367
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,306
Well?
368
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,576
All right, let go.
369
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,612
Okay, okay,
I'll let go if you let go.
370
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,313
All right, the count of three.
371
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,751
One, two, three.
372
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:14,387
- You didn't let go.
- Because I knew
you wouldn't let go.
373
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,689
All right. One--
374
00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:17,424
No, no, no. I'll count.
375
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:19,826
One, two, three.
376
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,030
- All right.
- All right.
377
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,433
- You feel better?
- No.
378
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,534
Now, come on.
379
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,803
Come on.
380
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,972
Boom.
381
00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:37,043
I can't believe you hit me.
382
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:39,379
Oh, God, Martin, man, I'm sorry.
383
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,647
Fuck you, Eddie.
384
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,389
And I'm taking my pizza.
385
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,032
Martin! Martin!
386
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,773
Come on, Martin.
387
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,875
This is stupid.
388
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,577
Look, man, I'm sorry.
389
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,546
I know you're in there.
390
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,385
Come on, pal, open up.
391
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,292
You know what kills me, Stan?
392
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,096
The whole time, I'm worried
they're not getting along.
393
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,532
- Yeah.
- Here, meet Eddie.
394
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,234
- You know what?
- No, no, really.
395
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,703
He's a great guy.
I want us all to be friends.
396
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:38,004
Oh, God.
397
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:40,106
I feel like such a--
398
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,809
Such a--
399
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,444
Shmuck?
400
00:20:53,887 --> 00:20:54,921
Martin.
401
00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:57,957
You!
402
00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:02,495
I thought I heard a voice.
Could've been my friend Eddie.
403
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,230
But I don't have
a friend named Eddie.
404
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,666
Give me a break. You haven't
talked to me in a week.
405
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,569
- What do you want?
I'm fresh out of women.
- I said I was sorry.
406
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,137
That don't make no difference.
407
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:12,839
You know,
I have a lot of work to do,
408
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,641
so could you just
fuck off, please?
409
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:17,977
It's just I'd never felt
this way about a woman before,
and, uh...
410
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,314
I don't know.
I'm crazy about her.
411
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,817
Oh, really?
I was pretty
crazy about her, too.
412
00:21:23,817 --> 00:21:26,753
- Come on.
You weren't in love with her.
- Oh, and you are?
413
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:29,089
- Yes.
- Bullshit!
This is me you're talking to.
414
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:31,257
Martin, I asked her to marry me.
415
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,396
You'll do anything, won't you?
416
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:46,906
- You didn't.
- I did.
417
00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:48,375
- You didn't?
- I did.
418
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,509
Why, it's ridiculous.
419
00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:51,177
You just met her.
You don't do that.
420
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,179
You can't go around
just asking people that.
421
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:55,815
Martin, I've been with thousands
of women, and this is it.
422
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,718
- She's the one.
- Really?
423
00:21:59,953 --> 00:22:01,287
- Thousands?
- Martin.
424
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:03,023
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I was--
425
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,726
What does she say?
426
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,061
She said...
427
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,263
yes.
428
00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:15,268
Wow.
429
00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:17,570
Yeah.
430
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:20,807
Congratulations.
431
00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:22,175
Thank you.
432
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,514
I think
you're acting very noble.
433
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:31,885
- Well, this isn't
at all unexpected.
- The expected never happens.
434
00:22:31,885 --> 00:22:35,689
Unbelievable.
I mean, you're really
getting married, aren't you?
435
00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:37,957
Yeah. Yeah.
436
00:22:37,957 --> 00:22:40,827
You're a lucky guy, you know?
I mean, she's really great.
437
00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:42,328
Hey, watch it.
438
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:43,596
What?
439
00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:47,467
I didn't mean it that way.
440
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,735
Jeez.
441
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,470
She is really great.
442
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,072
- Man!
- I'm kidding.
443
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:56,810
You okay? Get up.
30390
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