Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a Dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[Candace] Hello. Is this the Johnson residence?

I'd like to speak to Jeremy Johnson.

This is Candace Flynn. Why am I calling, you ask?

Because I have a question about our algebra assignment.

Thank you. I'll hold.

OK, OK. Let's see. Opening jokes. Opening jokes.

-[door opens] -Heya, Jeremy. This is Candace Flynn.

So what do you get when you cross a yak and a martian?

[Mom] Honey, could I interrupt for just a sec?

Why, Jeremy Johnson, did you just call me honey?

No, Candace. I just wanted to tell you I'm off to my book club.

I left a phone number on the fridge in case of emergency.

-And, Candace, honey... -Yes, Mom?

I hope you're not planning on talking to that banana all afternoon.

Ladies and platypuses,

introducing the latest party craze to sweep the nation,

The Amazing Mariachi Tree.

[playing mariachi music]

[crashing]

[groaning]

I think the lesson here is never drink

so much chocolate milk before planning our day's activity.

Bye, guys. Sorry. Good work there, though.

-[groans] -There's that smile, Arturo. Gracias.

-Hi, Phineas. -Oh. Hi, Isabella.

What ya do-- [hiccups]

Are you OK?

Yeah. I just came by to see what ya do--[hiccups]--ing?

Wow. That's a bad case of the hiccups you got there.

I know. They're driving me crazy. [hiccups]

Not to fear, Isabella.

Ferb and I will help you cure your hiccups.

-[hiccups] -Hey, where's Perry?

[upbeat percussion music]

[clang]

[clanging sounds]

[Monogram] Good morning, Agent P. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is on the move.

We tracked him to these coordinates when we suddenly lost his signal.

We have two scenarios to explain his disappearance.

First, that magical elves have caused Dr. Doofenshmirtz

to vanish to the land of angry corn people.

The second is that he may be on this secret hide-out-shaped island

with the initial "D" carved into it

that satellites found in the exact spot where he vanished. Uh...

You know what? Uh, forget the magical elves thing.

I'm way off base with that.

Anyway, on your way, Agent P.

♪ Dooby, dooby, doo, bah ♪

♪ Dooby, dooby, doo, bah ♪

♪ Dooby, dooby, doo, bah ♪

♪ Dooby, dooby, doo, bah ♪

♪ Perry ♪

♪ He's a semiaquatic Egg-layin' mammal of action ♪

♪ Dooby, dooby, doo, bah Dooby, dooby, doo, bah ♪

♪ He's a furry, little flatfoot Will never flinch from a fra, ay, ay ♪

♪ He's got more than just mad skill He's got a beaver tail and a bill ♪

♪ And the women swoon Whenever they hear him say ♪

[chatters]

♪ He's Perry ♪

♪ Perry the Platypus! ♪

[Monogram] But you can call him Agent P.

♪ Perry ♪

[Monogram] I said you can call him Agent P.

♪ Agent P! ♪

OK, Isabella, the best way to cure the hiccups

is to scare them away, so what scares you?

Hmm--[hiccups]

Well, there was this haunted house at the state fair--

[hiccups] that was pretty scary.

That's it! Ferb and I are gonna make you the scariest haunted house ever,

with zombies and werewolves,

and ghosts and vampires,

-and witches. -Ahem!

-Oh. Hey, Candace. -Phineas!

The only way you're building a haunted house in this backyard

is over my dead body.

That's the idea. Blah!

That's it, you little psycho. I'm calling Mom.

And I am not using the banana this time.

You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?

Build a haunted house, my foot.

-[dialing sound] -They're so busted.

Yes. Hello. This is an emergency. I'd like to speak with Linda Flynn.

To whom am I presently speaking?

Uh, Jeremy, that's whom.

[stammering] Jeremy?

[stammering] Jeremy who?

Jeremy Johnson.

My Mom's hosting a book club today.

Who is this?

-[crackling] -We seem to be breaking up.

-[crackling] -I'm going into a tunnel. Sunspots! I--

¡no habla español!

[dial tone]

♪ Doofenshmirtz hide-out-shaped island ♪

[music]

[seabird calls]

[multiple clangs]

[Doofenshmirtz] Perry the Platypus, here?

How could this be? [gasps] I'm shocked.

I mean, it would have taken a total evil mastermind

to have guessed that you'd track me to this point,

find the secret hide-out, glide in under the radar,

and infiltrate through this access vent,

make your way over to this crate,

activating my automatic arm and leg restraints.

Oh. Right here, this is the part

where I get all sarcastic and pretend you surprised me.

"Oh, Perry the Platypus, how?

What the? Who the? Why the? Oh."

Finally, ending here when I finish showing you my brilliant plan.

You see, Perry the Platypus, this secret hide-out

doesn't actually belong to me.

It belonged to my mentor,

Professor Destructicon.

[dramatic music]

Kevin to his friends.

[glass shattering]

Sadly he was just captured in the midst of his latest plan,

to set fire to the sun.

Redundant perhaps,

but before they locked him away,

Kevin asked a favor of me.

To prevent them from discovering his hidden lair and all its secrets,

would I please set fire to the sun?

And I was like, "dude, you really gotta let that one go."

It's--it's a ball of fire. It makes no sense.

So he asked me instead to simply destroy his hide-out,

which I will now do, using my new disintevaporator.

-[clears throat] -[dramatic music plays]

And you, Perry the Platypus,

will now be disintevaporated along with it.

Ah ha ha!

OK, just breathe and relax.

[sighs] Let's try this again.

Hi. Uh, Linda Flynn, please.

But if she's too busy, uh,

then maybe there's someone else who can deliver her a message,

maybe someone in their teens.

[Suzy] Uh, who is this?

This is Candace, Candace Flynn. And, who is this?

I'm Suzy, Jeremy's little sister.

Well, it is such a pleasure to meet you on the--

You called for Jeremy, didn't you?

Jeremy. Oh, no, no, no.

You say you want your Mom,

but you really want Jeremy. Isn't that right?

-That's not true. -[Suzy] I'm sorry.

-[crackling] -We seem to be breaking up.

Stop crinkling paper. I know that trick.

-[Suzy] Bye-bye-- -Wait. Wait. Wait.

It's true. I wanna speak to Jeremy.

I thought so.

Jeremy, some girl's on the phone for you!

But never, ever forget

I am and always will be Jeremy's favorite girl.

-Got it? -Mm-hm, yes.

I got it, my favorite girl.

-Jeremy here. -[gasps] Jeremy!

Candace?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's me. Heh heh heh.

Hey, you know, your Mom's over here for the book club.

Oh, yeah. Well, I just have this silly question to ask her.

Well, they're breaking for coffee.

Wanna come over? We can hang out.

[screams]

That was great, Ferb.

But you should really save those screams for later

when the house is up and running.

Uh, I--I mean, sure.

Cool. See you in about 20 minutes?

Now I'll just load up a few things

that Professor Destructicon let me store here.

If there's one thing Kevin understood, it was closet space.

Now I'll just, uh, grab my keys to the escape jet

and, uh-hm.

I could have sworn I put them in my lab coat.

Oh, they're probably over here on the computer console. Hmm.

No. Ah, the kitchen.

Hello. Keys?

Heh. This is a little bit awkward,

but have you seen my escape jet keys?

What, you have? Well, that's great. Where are they?

You won't tell me?

Is this because you don't speak, or are you just being a jerk?

[Candace] Oh, I can't believe it.

I'm finally going to Jeremy's house. OK, now, what would the perfect look be?

Oh, I know. Girl next door meets pop diva

meets Hollywood bad girl crossed with an old-school glamour goddess.

Now I've just gotta find the finishing touch.

Hey, boys. I'm off to the Johnsons' book club.

Jeremy invited me over.

Um, when you see Mom, could you tell her

some snakes got lost in the house?

OK! You boys have fun. See ya.

OK, troops, thanks for coming on such short notice.

Buford, I know this is cutting into your canasta game.

This better be good, pointy.

-Oh, it is. Isabella has been cursed... -[all gasp]

-with hiccups. -[all moan] Phineas!

Worst case I've ever seen.

We're building this haunted house to scare the hiccups out of her.

To do so, we must dig deep into those terrible places

Any sane man shoves into the darkest, twisted corners of his mind.

Each of you must find out what scares you the most.

As you can see, today we're building a haunted house

electronically controlled by this giant organ.

Every room is monitored on these screens,

and by playing the keys,

[organ pipe sound]

I can trigger all sorts of surprises.

-So with your help, my friends, -[crashing sound]

we can build this house with enough horror

to destroy the involuntary contraction

of Isabella's diaphragm muscle once and for all!

[applause]

Oh. There you are, Ferb.

OK, people, let's get our scare on.

♪ Doofenshmirtz mentor's hide-out ♪

[Doofenshmirtz] Am I Getting Warmer? Hmm?

Ha ha! The sofa.

My keys fell between the cushions, right?

Uh, no. Oh, come on.

I defeated you fair and square, Perry the Platypus.

Why can't you accept your death with dignity and maturity

and play "you're getting hot or cold" with me?

Fine. Be that way. I'll find my keys myself

and teach you the meaning of grace under fire.

[beep]

Please! I'll do anything!

Oh, for the love of great Caesar's ghost,

what would you have me do?

[humming]

-Ah! Oh! -[glass shattering]

♪ La, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, yeah, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Who's that girl goin' down the street? ♪

♪ It's Candace ♪

♪ Candace ♪

♪ She's the girl next door Who's a pop diva by day ♪

♪ And a Hollywood bad girl by night ♪

♪ Crossed With an old-school glamour goddess ♪

♪ I'd like to meet It's Candace ♪

♪ Candace ♪

-♪ La, la, la, la ♪ -[bell rings]

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la ♪

[ominous music playing]

[barking]

[chomp]

Ah!

Oh! Help! Somebody!

Oh! Get it off me! These are designer jeans!

Wait. What are you doing?

[squeak]

-Ah! -[barking]

No! No! Ah! My hair!

Help! No--

-Huh? -[laughs]

[reverse warning beeper]

Uh!

Why are you doing this to me?

[chuckles]

Suzy, what's goin' on out here?

Candace?

Oh. Uh, hi, Jeremy.

-Upsies! -[Candace] Wait! No!

Don't pick her up. She's evil! Evil.

Can't you see? She's out to get me. She did this to me.

What are you talking about?

Little Suzy wouldn't hurt a fly.

[giggles] Ba, ba.

No! She's trying to get rid of me.

Can't you see? I can't take it!

Wait. Candace--

No. If you can't see it,

I should leave while I still have a shred of dignity left.

Candace, come back.

[Suzy] Bye-bye.

Hi, Phineas. What ya do--

Ph--Phineas. [hiccups]

[wind blowing]

[dog barks and howls]

-[ominous music] -[bats squeaking]

-[ominous music] -[roar]

[Isabella screams]

-[bats squeaking] -[dogs barking and growling]

[wind blowing]

[roars]

[hiccups] Darn.

It didn't work, Phineas.

What else you got?

Oh, we've got plenty,

if you're up for it.

I--[hiccups] guess so.

[playing organ]

♪ Come, let's tiptoe into the dark ♪

♪ One good scare oughta do ya ♪

♪ You'll find our bite Much worse than our bark ♪

♪ One good scare oughta do ya some good ♪

♪ If you should find the daily grind ♪

♪ A tad bit taxing on the mind ♪

♪ To help unwind, if so inclined ♪

♪ I have a small suggestion ♪

♪ That if you dare into my lair ♪

♪ You should prepare for quite a scare ♪

♪ Well, will you share in this nightmare ♪

♪ With me? My only question ♪

Boo! Boo, I say.

Baljeet?

Oh, I am not Baljeet.

I am the scariest thing known to man,

a failed math test.

Yeah, right.

We're just gonna move on now.

[Baljeet] You can run...

but it won't be to the college of your choice, I tell you!

♪ If your hair lies lifeless and limp ♪

♪ One good scare oughta do ya ♪

♪ Come with me, now, don't be a wimp ♪

♪ One little scare Oughta do ya some good ♪

Hello. Buford?

Behold the face of evil.

Buford, are you supposed to be Jeremy's little sister?

You said you were gonna be something scary.

She is scary, man.

She gives me the willies.

Little Suzy Johnson gives you the willies?

You don't know, man. You don't know.

Uh, we'll catch up with you later, OK?

Wash away the horror. Wash away the horror.

♪ La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ That is quite right, I would delight In taking flight into the night ♪

♪ If I may give you such a fright ♪

♪ You know i surely would ♪

♪ But if I seem a bit extreme ♪

♪ In my attempts to make you scream ♪

♪ Remember that this spooky scheme ♪

♪ Will cure your hiccups for good ♪

♪ One little. One little ♪

♪ One little. One little ♪

♪ One little scare ought to do some good ♪

Wah, ha, ha, ha!

So, Isabella, did it work?

[hiccups]

I was afraid she would say that.

Well, there's one more thing we could try.

[panting]

What the...

[whimpers]

[yipping]

What the... I don't believe this.

Let me get this straight.

If I set you free, you'll give me the keys, right?

Oh, for Pete's sake, why didn't you say that,

like, an hour ago?

Oh, look, they were under your cute, little platypus foot the whole time.

Ha, ha, ha! Hurry. Open. Open. Open.

Now I grab my stuff.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. Must hurry.

Seat belt and ignition.

[flare-up sound]

Whew. That was close.

Ho, ho, ho, ho! [sighs]

Now let's just make sure I didn't forget anything in my haste.

Got my old basketball, the lamp,

Christmas lights, the umbrella,

Perry the Platypus, the disintevaporator, my golf clu--

[gasps] Perry the Platypus!

The disintevaporator!

My golf clubs!

I don't even play golf.

[punching]

Uh! Hah! Ah, heh, heh.

How do you like it, huh?

Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold on. Time. Time. Time.

I got a hair caught in my mouth.

[sputter]

Uh, ah!

-Ha, ha! -[alarm blaring]

Since you saved me the trouble of opening the hatch,

let me show you out.

-[pipe organ sound] -[bats squeaking]

Those two are in such big trouble.

OK, Ferb, raise the antenna.

Let's see if we can up the scariness factor.

You see, our haunted house is powered by static electricity.

Maybe we can get a lightning strike to fire things up.

Um, hello. Phineas? Ferb?

-You two are in big trouble? -[door closes]

[dogs barking and howling]

OK, you guys. Stop fooling around.

You guys better come out now.

I'm getting really mad.

[crackling]

What was that? Ah!

-[hisses] -[screaming]

[giggling]

Yeah!

[scream]

Ah! Stay away from me!

[panting]

[transylvanian accent] Good evening.

It is evening, isn't it?

Ah!

Ah!

-[crackling sounds] -[baby coos]

Ah!

[bats squeaking]

Whoa. Too much, Ferb.

Too much! Look out!

Ah!

-[dogs yipping] -Ah!

Ah!

Oh! Huh?

Ah!

-Ah! -Ah!

[all screaming]

Ah!

Ah!

[faces screaming]

Ah!

Candace?

Phineas, when Mom sees that you've built

a haunted house in the backyard

with werewolves and vampires,

and a giant floating baby head--

What's that even about?

[coos]

-Not now! -[cries]

And then there was a giant jack-in-the-box

with a suit of armor, that nearly took my head off.

And you--you just drive me crazy!

When I tell Mom what you're doing,

you are going down. Down, down, down.

Is there any chance that cured your hiccups?

[hiccups]

[ding]

[coos]

Would you get out of here!

[giant floating baby head cries]

[suspenseful music]

[gasps] Mom's home. Perfect.

Mom, Mom, Mom!

Wait till you see what Phineas and Ferb have done.

[creaking]

What's happening?

Uh, guys, a little help!

Phineas!

Ah!

Ah!

Quick, everyone. Sashes.

[Fireside Girls] Hut! Hut! Hut!

Ah!

Now, that was scary.

Hey, my hiccups are gone.

[ringing sound]

See? Absolute terror.

These little creeps have destroyed our backyard,

leaving this ugly mess in its place.

Hi, Baljeet.

That wasn't very nice, Candace.

[upbeat music]

Here you go, Perry the Platypus.

Enjoy your disintevaporation.

[upbeat music]

[bang]

[chuckles]

It's back!

Mom, it's back!

[beeping]

[sizzle sound]

It's back! I told you!

It's returned.

Oh, excuse me. I forgot my satchel.

Good-bye, Candace.

What's the matter?

Phineas and Ferb are the matter.

This day was ruined,

and I didn't even get to hang out with Jeremy.

Sorry, but you know, it was the best day for me.

Due to my incurable case of the hiccups,

I spend an entire day showered

with undivided attention from Phineas.

It was wonderful.

Hiccups?

Hey, Candace, you ran away so quickly,

-we didn't get a chance to-- -[hiccups]

Sounds like you got a bad case of the hiccups.

-[hiccups] -Here. Come on.

Let's see what we can do about that.

I've got a glass of water with your name on it.

[hisses]

What? What did I do?

[stammers] Um...

I'll just, uh, go.

[ominous music plays]

That was a great day, Ferb.

What did you think the scariest thing was?

-Definitely the giant floating baby head. -Yeah.

-[theme music plays] -[music stops]

Yeah. Where did that come from?

-Hmm. -[theme music plays]

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ That is quite right, I would delight ♪

♪ In taking flight into the night ♪

♪ if I may give you such a fright ♪

♪ You know I surely would ♪

♪ But if I seem a bit extreme ♪

♪ In my attempts to make you scream ♪

♪ Remember that this spooky scheme ♪

♪ Will cure your hiccups for good ♪

♪ One little. One little ♪

♪ One little. One little ♪

♪ One little scare ought to do some good ♪

Wah, ha, ha, ha!

[Isabella hiccups] Darn.