Original subtitles

All right, you, come on.

Step on that ramp. Get out of the way.

Hey, hey you.

Come on, get out of here.

That means you too.

'Way back, 'way back.

I wonder how it started.

Lower your head.

My head?

Good color, splendid blending, nice lines.

What do you think you're looking at,

the Statue of Liberty at sunset?

I never answer questions. Saves time.

Suppose I had to answer your question

about how this started.

I'd have to say there are 202 ways of starting a fire

with a match alone.

And 17 different ways of lighting a match.

Ordinary people... do that,

careless people... do that.

Indians rub two sticks together, just for something to do

until some tourist comes along with a lighter they can borrow.

Oh, pardon me, will you have a cigarette?

No, thanks.

Leaving so soon? Yes, it's time.

I learned very early in life not to engage in a conversation

with handsome strangers.

Now King Gambrinus had the right idea.

He was an old 15th century firegoer-to,

never missed a blaze,

but he sensed a crying need after the fires.

And one night seated in his palace deep in thought,

he summoned his magicians, and they brewed a magic potion,

sealed it in heavy casks

and chilled it in deep, dark cellars.

And when this magic potion had reached its potency,

what do you think they had? Beer.

Correct.

And there's a little place around the corner

where this magic potion may be purchased at a price.

Have a beer? No, thanks.

Oh, it's too bad.

Nice cold beer is very nice after a hot fire.

How about some food? Thanks, no.

A little stroll through the park, maybe?

No, thank you.

Well, there's hardly anything else I can offer you

without getting personal.

You seem to think I was born yesterday.

Let me see, what was yesterday?

Sure you won't have a beer? Some other time.

Some other place and some other drink, I hope.

And some other girl.

The Excelsior Paper Box Company's claim

has been settled for $130,000.

Gentlemen, the situation is appalling,

six big fires in as many weeks,

representing a total loss to this company of $1,872,961.

And 94 cents.

Mr. Grayson, you've had charge of these cases.

I'm under the impression

that an investigator is supposed to produce results.

What, if anything, have you got to suggest?

Gentlemen, we have some new and important evidence.

I've incorporated it in my report.

Your report tells us no more than the daily papers.

Not as much. We don't want reports.

We want results.

I think I can promise you results.

One of our advertising booklets

was mailed back to us anonymously.

It is obviously the work of a pyromaniac.

Arson. Arson.

Every time you investigators get up a tree,

you cry "Firebug."

Better get Tom Fletcher back, boys.

You can see for yourself.

"Commercial Camera Company.

Deutsch Paint Works.

Bristow Shipyards.

Eureka Linoleum Company.

Commonwealth Storage Warehouse."

Excelsior Paper Box Factory.

They're all here.

"When?"

That word "when" sounds ominous.

Terrible. Six fires already, and more threatened.

The biggest campaign of crime

ever aimed at a fire insurance company.

Well, that's some kind of a record.

Better get Tom Fletcher back, boys.

He's the best insurance investigator in the country.

Digby's right.

Fletcher's record in arson cases is unbeatable.

And so are some of his other records.

The last case he worked on cost us over $20,000.

And saved you a hundred thousand.

- Grayson, go get Fletcher. - Sure, get him back.

Yes, let's have a talk with him, anyway.

Go ahead.

Ah-ah-ah! Teacher spank.

You know my rule: sobriety test before every drink. Marie.

She sells seashells by the shea sore.

Too bad. Nancy.

Well, here I come, ready or not.

Peter Potter picked a pick of peckled pippers.

Oh, I've only had one.

- How sad. - How utterly pathetic.

Hello, Tommy.

Hello, John.

Children, meet John Grayson.

How are you? How do you do?

How've you been? A moot question,

but this happens to be one of my moments.

Will you join us? Oh, no, thanks,

I'm here on business.

You picked a bad time, John. I'm in conference.

And now Sally, slowly and carefully.

I dread the thought of drinking alone.

Six sleek and supple salmon

slapped on a platter for supper.

Success! Ha-ha-ha!

Your vacation is about over.

You're going back to work. Really, where?

Interoceanic. John, you slander me.

The Board of Directors are a little perturbed

about this epidemic of fires.

Oh, yes, I read the papers.

It would seem that someone was indulging

in a little home cooking.

Something like that. What shall I tell them?

You may tell that august body,

the Board of Directors of Interoceanic,

that Thomas Ignatius Fletcher presents his compliments

and tells them to go jump in the lake.

I think you can write your own ticket.

They're pretty anxious to have you back.

John, that touches me deeply, but not deeply enough.

They gave me a raw deal.

Now's your chance to even the score.

I think they're ready to eat the well-known humble pie.

Peter Piper picked a peck of peppered pickles.

- Peter Piper pecked a pick of... - Quiet!

John, in some strange way, that idea appeals to me.

I shall honor them with my presence,

and feed them heaping portions of humble pie,

while I munch casually on caviar...

At their expense, of course.

Jasper, my tabs, please.

Not leaving, are you Tommy?

Oh, Tom. Sorry, girls, but duty calls.

Oh, that's awful.

John, we are now a company business.

So list these as miscellaneous on the expense account.

And don't stint,

for Jasper is a friend indeed.

Hurry back, Tommy.

I'm sorry, gentlemen, when you're sick,

you don't care whether you like the doctor or not,

you just call him in.

And Fletcher's the man that can cure us.

- Aw, he's hopeless. - Certainly, he is.

He's an unreasonable, unspeakable, irresponsible,

disrespectful clown.

Mr. Fletcher always spoke well of you, gentlemen.

Glad to see me, laughing boy?

Ah, my old friend Digby.

I suppose you're responsible for bringing me back

to this Chamber of Horrors?

Not me. I didn't want you back.

Fletcher, here's what we're up against.

Please, I know what you're up against.

I know what you want,

and I know just how much it's going to cost you.

I don't like the sound of that.

Gentlemen, the meeting will please come to order.

Looking around me, I see the same old faces.

I'm not very encouraged by that,

for it seems that any change would be an improvement.

However, if by any chance I do accept

the generous offer you gentlemen are about to make,

I want several changes made in the terms

and conditions of my employment.

I will name them in the order of their importance,

First, I want an electric refrigerator put in my office,

and it must be well-filled at all times.

Mr. Grayson will tell you my favorite brand.

Then there's that little matter of a secretary.

You know the type, not too young, not too old,

one who will be decorative to the office.

Of course she won't have much work to do.

And for transportation,

I'll need a car and a chauffeur.

Any kind of a car'll do, as long as it's a Rolls Royce.

A follies girl couldn't ask for more.

I'm sorry, gentlemen.

I thought you sent for an arson investigator.

I didn't know you wanted a follies girl.

However, I would recommend that statuesque blonde

third from the left in the second act finale.

Hold on. Let's get on to cases.

Come on, Fletcher. Stick a pin in yourself

and let all the hot air out at once.

Any other demands?

Well, just a few minor details.

Of course, my old salary must be doubled,

and then there's that little matter of the bonus.

What bonus?

The bonus, for catching your pyromaniac.

My idea is a modest little sum, say $100,000.

What?

Do you think we're crazy?

Do we have to go into that?

What do you say we call the whole thing off

and go for a swim?

Last one in is a... You know what.

Stop the clowning and go to work.

All right, Fletcher.

It's a deal. Agreed.

Send the contract over to me later.

I'll be in conference at the Biltmore bar.

A plain case of blackmail.

I wouldn't want to be quoted,

but I bet he started those fires

just to get his job back.

Good morning, John. Oh, hello, Tom.

Your icebox arrived, and it's well-stocked.

It's a little small.

Remind me to tell French to get a larger one.

Spring-cleaning, John?

Knowing the way Interoceanic operates,

I'd rather bow out than be kicked out.

Nonsense. I realize the fact that

in talking me into this job, you talked yourself out.

Such honesty of purpose should not go unrewarded.

Give me Mr. French, general manager.

Hello. Hello. French? Fletcher.

Will you have a desk rolled in here for me?

What's the matter? Can't you use Grayson's desk?

We're giving him his notice.

Sure, there's room for both of us.

I said, we were letting Grayson go.

Agreed. A very valuable man, knows all about the case.

Now listen, Tom.

He's flopped on this thing and flopped badly.

He'd be gratified to hear you say that.

I tell you, I'm tying a can to him.

Oh, yes, yes, we've planned to stick very close together.

In fact, whither he goest, I goest.

Thanks, French. Don't forget the desk.

Say, if you think you can run this whole...

Hello?

Operator?

Mr. Fletcher disconnected.

Shall I call him back? No, never mind.

Just order another desk moved into Grayson's office.

French had no idea of letting you go.

Said I needed you around for balance.

Heh. Well, if they feel that way,

I'd like nothing better than to be with you

and see how you do it. Swell, John.

I plan to keep an eye on your work too.

Mr. Fletcher? Yes.

Mr. French said I was to do your secretarial work.

Good ole French.

He also said the job was only temporary.

That all depends.

Won't you sit down?

Now to get back to this case,

just where are we and where are we going?

This advertising booklet ought to be a big help.

It has been a big help.

But not to us.

Young lady, take a letter.

To the Board of Directors... Copy to every member, please.

"Gentlemen, allow me to compliment you

on your advertising booklet. It's a masterpiece.

It's a great help to pyromaniacs, arsonists,

and firebugs of all kinds.

My suggestion is in the future,

any pamphlets going out to the general public

be accompanied by a small can of gasoline

and a box of matches.

Respectfully yours, Tom Fletcher."

Will that be all, Mr. Fletcher?

I'm optimistic enough to hope that it will not be all.

Did you notice that all these fires happened

on weekends or holidays?

Yes. As though the firebug wanted to make sure

not to endanger life. Mm-hm.

And that would indicate that it was not a general arsonist,

but one who has a particular grudge against Interoceanic.

Correct, John.

You'll also notice that the fires occurred

in the exact order the buildings are listed in this booklet.

I discovered that after the second fire.

Nice going, John. What did you do about it?

Put guards at all the buildings.

Yes, but that didn't stop the fires.

No, it didn't.

You might just as well have hung a sign out.

I can't understand it. They're all good men.

John, I want you to call off all the men working on this case.

All of them?

I'll have my men take over the situation.

All right. I'd do it in person.

In person? In person.

All right... Oh, oh, in person.

Oh, yes...

Stop by the office and get your check.

I'll let you know if I need you again.

All right, Mr. Grayson.

Where do you think you're going? To a fire?

You guessed it, officer...

Say, cut across that car.

Why don't you look where you're going?

I never answer questions. It saves time.

Will you please tell me why your chauffeur cut me off?

Curious, that's all.

It's a fire investigator's business to be curious,

particularly about people running away from a fire

when everyone else is running to it.

I'm not running away from the fire, Gambrinus.

Oh, hello. I didn't know it was you.

I was just going around to 9th Street to get a better look.

They wouldn't let me through the lines,

but you make that all very simple.

Do I? Certainly.

The police won't stop me if I'm with you, will they?

We'll soon find out. Hop in.

Well, what do you want? Interoceanic.

The lady's with us. All right.

John, you play host.

I'll see you in a little while.

My name's John Grayson. I'm Fletcher's assistant.

My name's Martin, Adrienne Martin.

How do you do? How do you do.

Maybe we can see better over here.

Thank you.

Ugh. Fighting a back draft. Doesn't look so good.

Well, Tony, what did you find out?

Plenty, boss.

I stay around the building all day.

Everybody she come home,

you know, get-a-half- a-holiday, make-a big fiesta.

Never mind that. Anybody come out later?

Two peoples. One little fellow, he's much scared.

And them a big fellow comes out, a fancy guy.

He looks up, he looks down, then he goes away.

Do you think you could find them in the crowd?

Heh. One is catched already.

Over there?

Josephine, she point him out.

Josephine is my G-man.

Come on, Josephine, show Mr. Fletcher.

Go away, man.

Take it away.

Some fire, huh? Yeah.

Interested in fires?

I ought to be interested in this one.

Why? That's my factory burning up.

Oh, then you must be Mr. Crane.

If it interests you, I am.

And if it interests you,

I'm the investigator of the Interoceanic.

I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Tell me something about this Mr. Fletcher.

Well, he's the best fire investigator in the world.

That's an odd sort of fame, isn't it?

Yes, in a way.

I've heard a lot of people say

that if he weren't an arsonist at heart,

he wouldn't be such a fine investigator.

You mean, "Send a thief to catch a thief"?

Something like that.

He must be very clever. Tell me some more about him.

Well, thanks very much, Mr. Crane.

I'll call on you later.

Young lady,

when the honorable Tommy passes into the great beyond,

half the girls in town

will be out shopping for mourning outfits.

Well, John showing you

all the fine points of firefighting?

I've been learning everything a young girl should know,

particularly about investigators.

Oh, very nice. Building me up so I'll have further to fall.

Well, she wanted your biography.

Oh, but the best chapters are yet to be written.

Oh, I know something about your history.

Your friendship with that noble monarch, King Gambrinus,

and that little place around the corner

where his magic potion may be purchased at a price.

Shall we have a beer?

Some other time.

Some other place.

Some other drink. And some other girl?

Some other girl won't do.

You know, I'm disappointed in you,

not only as a prince charming, but as a fireman.

No good detective wastes his time in wining and dining

when he should be working.

She should be on our Board of Directors.

But really, I've been working very hard

on a most interesting case.

And what might that be?

You. Me?

But why are you so curious?

The National Correspondence School of Detectives

always taught me to be curious of stray beauties.

Well, the young lady's 24,

she's lived in France for the past five years,

and she's an orphan with no mother to guide her.

Doesn't that suggest possibilities?

And now that that's settled, why don't you get busy

and tell us who started those fires.

Well, it's too soon.

You can't figure things out ahead of time.

Well if I were working, I'd have some suspects.

Ah, but I have my suspects already.

You have?

Mm-hm.

Everyone in here, plus the Board of Directors,

plus the minor employees of Interoceanic, plus John Grayson.

Me? Heh. But I haven't any motive.

Give you one and you're in a perfect spot,

working on the case,

knowing what's being done, one jump ahead of yourself.

Plus Tom Fletcher too, then.

My motive?

To return to a very important and lucrative position

with Interoceanic,

and that fat bonus.

John, your powers of deduction are marvelous.

Let's make it unanimous.

How about little Orphan Annie here?

Me? You're always at fires,

even caught you running away from one.

If I were smart, I'd have you in the calaboose right now.

And my motive?

When Thomas Ignatius Fletcher

detects a woman's motive for anything,

he'll walk right up to the statue of Sherlock Holmes

and say "move over."

I'll drink to that, Tom.

And after that, gentlemen,

I think I should say "good night."

You wanted to dig into this investigation, Tom,

so I'll see Miss Martin home.

It's miles out of your way, old man.

Not at all, I don't mind a bit, it's a pleasure.

Pleasure? Why, it's an honor.

There seems to be some dispute here.

Absolutely.

Get our things, Noah, please.

There's only one way to settle it, call it.

Oh, let me.

Tails. Heads.

Heads.

Sorry, John. Make yourself at home.

You'll find a good book in the ice-box.

A penny for your thoughts.

They're not for sale. Two pennies.

I was just thinking.

That's the first serious thing you've said to me

since we've met.

Well, that evens the score.

Now shall we start all over again?

And just be ourselves?

Yes. All right.

You know, you must hate me. On the contrary.

Why should I?

For taking up so much of your time

when you should be working.

Well, frankly, there's nothing for me to do.

I mean, about the fire.

Oh, you can't find out anything about a fire

while it's blazing.

It's like a love affair.

You mean, you really never understand it

while it's flaming?

It just happens.

Then later on... When it dies down?

You find the reason for it in the ashes.

There it is, down there under that pipe.

Don't touch it with your hands.

Pick it up with your axe.

Hello, bad news.

Hello, chief. Let me have that box too.

The boys told me you were around.

I thought Interoceanic had sent you out to pasture.

They did, but I pined for you so much they brought me back.

To do what?

Stick a handful of ashes under a microscope

and stop all these fires?

You haven't been doing so well lately.

If I didn't know it, I could trust you to remind me of it.

You're down to the office early today, aren't you?

Hello.

I thought I'd find you poking around in the ashes.

What brings you down to the ash heap?

I came for two reasons. One, to get my car.

Oh. And the other?

I have a complex. I want to be a fireman.

Don't tell me your mother was frightened by a fire horse?

Take off your hat.

This is a very solemn occasion.

Put your left hand on the fire plug,

raise your right hand.

Do you solemnly swear to learn to play pinochle,

dress in 10 seconds, slide down the pole,

hang onto the hook and ladder, break into windows,

flood the cellar with water when the fire's in the attic,

sound the siren, ring the bell, and chop up pianos

with axes at all false alarms?

I do. Then you're a fireman.

In that case, I'll go right to work.

What've you got there? Souvenir.

I get one at every fire.

Mr. Fletcher speaking.

Under no condition ring this phone

until you got further instructions from me.

Good morning, Mr. Fletcher.

Good morning. And who might you be?

I'm your new secretary.

What happened to the old secretary?

Oh, she got transferred to another apartment.

Another what?

I said "apartment," but I meant "department."

Sometimes it's all the same thing though, isn't it?

I suppose you know what your duties are?

Oh, mostly.

I'm supposed to... Take the wire off wine bottles.

And don't tell me it's lovely work if you can get it.

Alrighty.

Then start opening one right now.

I don't see how you stand it.

I could never take a thing this early in the morning

except orange juice.

I don't like oranges.

I don't like strawberries.

Do they give you a rash?

Mr. Fletcher, after all, you ain't my doctor.

By the way, did Mr. French tell you

that this job was only temporary.

Yes, he told me that.

Good old French...

Gentlemen, the Acme fire was started by a man

who might easily have been miles away from the scene.

By remote control, I suppose. Exactly.

All he did was to make a telephone call.

How about that, chief? Is such a thing possible?

I've been a fireman for 32 years,

and I've yet to see anyone start a fire

by sticking a nickel in a slot and saying "Hello."

Of all the fantastic stories.

If you gentlemen will pardon me, while I make a phone call,

I'll try and convince you of my statement.

A present.

What am I to do with this?

Mr. Fletcher speaking.

Connect me with the Board of Directors room.

Hello.

What is it? What happened?

Get some water. Hurry.

Well what are you waiting for, chief, somebody to ring a bell?

Stand aside, men. I've got it.

Nice going, chief.

And that, gentlemen, is how the Acme Fire was started.

Sit down, sit down. Fan yourselves, boys.

Mulligan's got everything under control.

Your fires were started by

a firebug who posed as a telephone repair man.

In every single case,

he has shown up the day before the fire,

gotten into the building,

tinkered with the telephone equipment,

and hooked up a chemical charge

that exploded when he called the number back

on Saturday or Sunday

when there was no one there to answer.

Why didn't it explode when other calls came?

Oh, he blocked that by telling the operator

that the phone was temporarily out of order

and he hooked it up on a direct line.

And now what happens, Master Mind?

All the other companies that we insure have been notified

to watch for a man who comes in to fix the phones,

and the next time he shows up,

we'll grab him with the goods.

Before the fires start. Exactly.

Is that clear, gentlemen? I think so.

Now all we have to do is to keep our mouths shut.

A tough assignment.

A very clever trick.

Yep, I handle my fires very well.

Oh, I'd love to have seen it. It sounds better than a show.

It was a show. The phone rang,

and from then on, it was like a farce.

You should have seen those directors hop.

Were they surprised?

I mean, when you proved to them that it was a phone call

that started the fire? Were they?

Their mouths opened so wide,

they could've swallowed baseballs,

and Mulligan was the funniest.

Tom Fletcher is clever, isn't he?

To figure that out from a tiny clue.

Well, I did the detail work on it.

My congratulations to you too, then.

Well, wait till we get our man.

Did they get a description of the man?

No. He was seen changing the phone,

but nobody paid much attention to him.

I'm betting on Tom Fletcher though, and you too, of course.

Say, how about forgetting Tom Fletcher for a while

and having dinner with me?

We'll run up into the country.

I'm awfully sorry, John, but I can't.

Another date? Yes.

And one I can't very well break.

Would you if you could?

I think I would.

Personal column, please.

Yes, ma'am.

It's 56 cents a line for one day only

and a special four-day rate at 48 cents.

Four days.

Thank you.

Good morning, Noah. Good morning, sir.

We're having a guest for breakfast. A young lady.

She ought to be ringing the doorbell any moment.

Yes, sir, she...

But she mustn't see our picture gallery.

Oh.

You've taken down the photograph of Miss Wilson,

Miss Dale, Miss Moore, and Miss Broderick?

Yes, sir. All gone. I put away. Young lady, she...

She's most unusual, Noah, but she has faults.

Her nose turns up too sharply,

her eyes are the wrong shade of blue,

sometimes in a serious moment, she seems cloudy in the belfry.

But I don't know, there's something about her.

But with all those faults,

you still invite her over to Sunday breakfast.

Well, well, you got here early, didn't you?

Your powers of deduction are marvelous.

I feel very flattered to be leading the field.

Noah, why didn't you tell me that Miss Martin was here?

Ho, try to very hard, sir. You talk too fast.

That's what I said.

You shouldn't creep up on people like that.

It's a habit you must break yourself of.

I'll try very hard.

Mm. Strawberries and champagne.

And very good too.

It's an old family custom,

started by my great-great-great-grandfather.

Give.

Mm!

I hate to admit it, sir, but you're a master dunker.

I shall carry the memory of this luscious treat with me forever.

Dunking is a noble custom, my good lady.

It quickens the eye, steadies the hand, pleases the palate,

and greatly improves the flavor of the strawberry.

But suppose this insidious fruit were to mark me?

Ah, strawberry mark on your pretty shoulder

and you'd be the missing Princess of Jorganstein,

with a Balkan Kingdom waiting.

Sorry, I don't care for some, I've seen the Balkans.

Oh, you've been around, haven't you?

I'm Adrienne of the Adriatic.

Leave me with my secret.

By the way, just what is your secret?

Are you always this disagreeable at breakfast?

Oh, no. Some mornings, I don't eat breakfast at all.

I want to ask you just one question.

Remember, you don't have to answer.

That's what I said.

Someplace in you dark and shrouded past,

there ain't been no wedding bells, has there, little gal?

No, chief, nary a tinkle.

That's all I wanted to hear, darling,

because there ain't been none in mine either.

And it's high time...

There go your wedding bells now.

That's why I call it the irritator.

Pralines coming up. Sorry, Noah.

Where is it?

Walnut and West, Madison Knit Goods Company.

Right on schedule too.

Quite a fire, isn't it? It ought to be a corker.

That's my reputation going up in smoke.

Oh, here, take this badge and go where you like.

I've got a little work to do.

Now, now, Molly, don't feel so badly about it.

Tell me what happened.

Oh, Mr. Fletcher, I'm that distressed with it.

I'll take me sacred oath that no person,

telephone man or anyone else,

went in that building since it's closed.

Was there anyone at all around here last night?

It being Saturday, there was a straggler or two, no more.

Then a few came and went to the garage.

Then there was an old duck in a long overcoat.

A man?

On me oath, I couldn't say.

The coat came to the ankles.

It struck me funny wearing an overcoat at this time of year.

Yeah.

That don't look much like a skylight now.

Lend me your glove.

Come on, boys, put some water on that stuff.

Let's get a look at things.

Hey, that's my glove!

You got another one.

Sure, but I got two hands.

You'll need 'em if you ever take up the saxophone.

One of the finest glasses for its purpose.

Concentrated light in electrotherapy,

thinnest magnifying glass ever made.

Who manufactures it? Nobody now.

The Maxwell Glass company used to make it,

but their factory has gone out of business.

Who owned the factory?

An inventor named Maxwell, Fred Maxwell and his wife.

She was a very fine chemist.

Are they still here? That I couldn't tell you.

Much obliged. Send your bill to my office.

I'll do that, all right.

Good morning. Good morning.

I'm Miss Appleby.

Your story interests me. Proceed.

I'm your new secretary.

Oh, what happened to the old one?

Mr. French is planning to give you a new secretary

every three or four days.

Good old French.

Miss Appleby, can you open a bottle of wine?

I've never tried.

I disapprove of the use of stimulants in any manner,

shape or... Shape or form, I know.

Miss Appleby, take a letter, please. Ahem.

"Mr. French, General Manager.

Esteemed sir, in the future,

please don't reach so far down into the bottom of the barrel."

Will that be all?

I'm optimistic enough to hope that it will be all.

And that, gentlemen, is how the Madison fire started.

Here, Chief, put this out, will you?

They removed a pane of glass from the skylight

and substituted a piece of optical glass.

They placed it at such an angle

so that the sun's rays would hit it about 11:30,

and you see what happened. The goods,

which have been chemically treated, were ignited.

Did it take you a whole week to find that out?

No, but it took me six days and nights in the laboratory

to find out what this was.

A non-evaporating chemical, which bursts into flames.

Did you discover the formula? I did.

But it goes to the archives

of the Department of Justice in Washington tonight.

It seems that you boys talk too much.

Explain that remark, please.

Gladly.

We're the only ones who knew about the telephone hook-up.

That bit of knowledge leaked out

and warned the firebug to change his methods.

What's the next step then?

Frankly, I don't know.

First time I ever heard you say that.

I'm sort of on a blind trail.

The company that made this glass

went out of business seven or eight years ago.

The Maxwell Glass & Instrument Company,

owned by Fred Maxwell.

I remember that company.

You ought to, you broke it.

We refused Maxwell a loan on your advice.

Oh, yes. I remember now.

We got a bad report on him, and he swore to get revenge.

And it wound up in a big suit

against one of our other companies.

I think I recall that case. Yes.

Don't strain yourselves, lads.

You remember enough.

Come on, Johnny.

We've got a little knitting to do.

The rest of you are dismissed, school's out.

Better dig into the files on that Maxwell case.

Get what you can on it and bring it to my apartment tonight.

All right, I'll get right on it.

See you around 7.

Say, Tom, there's something you ought to know.

Yeah? All right, fire away.

Somebody else knew about that telephone setup.

I, uh, accidentally talked about it myself.

To whom? Adrienne.

Adrienne?

How did you happen to do that?

Well, to be perfectly frank with you, Tommy,

I've grown pretty fond of her.

We were having a drink together,

and I told it more as a joke than anything else.

It was foolish of me, I suppose,

but she won't let it go any further, we know that.

John, when you mouth's closed, you can't put your foot in it.

Remember that.

Better get to work on that Maxwell case.

Miss Martin, latest edition, just out.

Thank you, Charles.

Go over the building thoroughly.

I'm going back to the barn. Okay, chief.

Well, well, one false alarm right after another.

This one ought to be easy for you.

All you got to do this time

is find out who started something that didn't happen.

Too bad they had to wake you up, chief.

Oh, hello, boss. Did you turn in that alarm?

No, I didn't know anything about it until I heard the sirens.

Anybody wise to you?

No, they think I'm the regular watchman.

Keep your eyes open.

This false alarm may be something new.

I'll be careful, sir.

I'll help you across the street.

What did you turn in that alarm for?

I didn't turn it in. It was a woman.

A woman? Yeah, I got her license number.

Are you sure it was a woman?

Do you think I'm blind?

Yes, sir? I'm from the insurance company.

Where's Miss Martin's car?

Right there, behind the second column.

Thanks.

I represent an insurance company, madam.

Have you given a thought to the future?

To your old age?

Insurance is not very pleasant,

but it's a very vital subject.

You interest me, sir.

Won't you step in and show me some of your samples?

I was in the neighborhood so I thought I might buy you a drink.

Well, I'm just having some tea. Will you drink that?

Well, if I must, I must.

Working hard?

No, there hasn't been a thing doing.

Oh, I thought I heard fire engines go by a while ago.

Go by? Where? The hotel here.

What time did you get back?

Oh, I haven't been out.

As a matter of fact, I was taking a nap

and the engines woke me up.

Lemon? Thanks.

Oh, it's probably a little fire some place.

Would you like me to call and see?

Oh, no, no. If it's anything important,

they'll let me know.

Why did you ask me if I'd been out?

I thought I saw your car parked in front of the Biltmore.

Oh, my car hasn't been out of the garage all day.

Do you think I'd be running around like this?

You're a terrible detective.

I'm beginning to think so myself.

Well, if we're going out tonight,

I'd better run along and dress.

All right, and I'll try very hard

to make myself beautiful. Oh, that wouldn't be hard.

Thanks for the tea. I hope it doesn't make you sick.

No, I've been on a liquid diet for a long time.

Good evening, Noah. Good evening.

Is Mr. Fletcher in? Yes, sir.

Go right in, please.

Come on ahead, John.

What did you find out about Maxwell?

Well, here's the story.

Eight years ago, he owned the Maxwell Glass Company.

Things got looking bad, he tried to float loans,

the bank turned him down.

He'd done a lot of business with Interoceanic,

so he came to our Board of Directors.

Imagine having to go to a bunch of buzzards like that

for anything.

He held a million-dollar insurance policy.

Couldn't he borrow on that? He already had... About 100,000.

So when they turned him down for another 100,000,

he laughed at them and swore he'd get even.

Oh, it gets better.

That's what I thought till I learned he committed suicide

to make them pay the million.

Tough way to get even.

But the company didn't pay off.

Any lawsuit?

Sure. They produced the suicide note,

the clothes that were found on the dock,

the man who saw him jump overboard...

And no corpus delecti. Right.

And the company beat the widow and orphans

out of another million.

How like the boys.

Widow and orphan. One daughter name Adeline,

and that's as far as I was able to get today.

Adeline Maxwell.

I guess that's far enough, John.

Remember, all this took place seven years ago.

I haven't had time to check the last six years.

We'll get that tomorrow.

Oh, here are two tickets to the Music Box.

A very charming young lady of your acquaintance

is waiting to be taken there tonight.

Adrienne? She's expecting you.

Yeah, well, tell her I'm busy, something sudden.

Are you drunk? Not yet.

Well, thanks very much.

Say, I'll have to run along and dress, won't I?

Yes. Drop in after the theatre.

Something came up all of a sudden he had to take care of,

and there's the story in a nutshell.

Ha, ha! Very nice if you like nutshells.

But what's he supposed to be doing, looking for the firebug?

Oh, young lady, what Fletcher is up to, nobody knows.

Music Box.

Say, what's the idea of all that noise?

What's that? Shut that thing off.

Yes, sir.

I've driven 600 miles today, and I've got to have some sleep.

Can't you read that sign.

Oh, I'm very sorry, sir.

Stay out of this hallway, or I'll complain to the manager.

Yes, sir.

Now you see what you've done?

You've made me lock myself out. Oh, that's all right.

I'll let you in, sir.

Be careful about that. Yes, sir.

Well?

Mr. Fletcher, Interoceanic.

All right, Mr. Fletcher.

All right, come on, come on, come on, folks.

Somebody hurt?

Yes, it was a watchman.

Just a moment, doctor.

Hello, Sam.

Hello, boss.

What happened?

I punched the time clock at 8,

and it blew up in my face.

Better not talk any more.

Noah, bring me a drink. Yes, sir.

Wait a minute. Changed my mind.

Bring me several drinks. Yes, sir.

Good evening, Noah. Good evening, Noah.

Good evening. Mr. Fletcher in?

- Yes, sir. - Come in, come in.

Do you know about this?

Know all about it, all about it.

Sit down and keep very quiet.

What in the world are you trying to do, Tom?

Play a song, this is a new instrument.

I invented myself out of an octave of old champagne.

Tom, this is no time to be drunk.

You're telling me?

But what about the fire?

Shh! I told you,

I know all about the fire, all about it.

I know something you don't know.

Come on, Tom. No, no.

She wants to know about fires.

Do you know what happens

to little girls who play with fire?

They get burned.

What happens to little girls who tell lies?

What happens? Terrible things.

Nobody likes 'em. Oh, very bad, very bad.

I'd better take Adrienne home. No. I'll stay.

My name's Tommy Fletcher. What's yours?

What's your name?

Don't be silly. We all know her name.

That's the funniest thing I ever heard of, we all know her name.

I know her name.

Funny, when people change their names,

they always keep the same initials.

Adrienne Martin, Adeline Maxwell.

That's your name, Adeline Maxwell.

And I know your father's name. Tom, what are you trying to do?

And I know your mother's name too.

What's behind all this, Tom?

Darling, I couldn't start to tell you,

because if I did, there isn't time enough

for me to go through.

Why do you go to all the fires?

You won't tell me? All right then, tell me this,

why won't you tell me?

I can't. You don't trust me.

How did you happen to know where the fires were going to be?

Oh, please. Well, then wait a minute.

Why did you turn in that alarm today,

two hours before the fire started?

Tell me that. I can't.

But I'm your friend.

Cross my heart and hope to die, I am.

Maybe I can help you, maybe I'm trying to help you.

Oh, I know all about the whole business,

how your mother was cheated and your father was...

Tom, can't you see that she... Shh.

It all fits together, the little pieces.

You tell me, and I tell you.

Don't you understand? I can't tell you.

If you don't tell me now, you'll never wanna tell me, never!

And you've gotta tell somebody

about this sometime.

I think I'd better go. No, you can't go.

Somebody waiting to see you.

Are you Adeline Maxwell?

Yes.

I place you under arrest on the charge of arson.

This is Mr. Cope, the District Attorney.

We'll go to his office now if you're ready.

I'm ready.

Adrienne,

I'm going with you. John, please keep out of this.

Do you realize what you're doing, Fletcher?

Imitating a drunk. "Imitating?"

You're as drunk as a fool. No, I'm not.

I didn't want her to think

I could do a thing like that sober.

Well, drunk or sober, it's a terrible thing to do.

Listen to me, John, I know who the pyromaniac is.

Are you trying to tell me that Adrienne...

I'll never tell you anything about Adrienne

that would hurt you, John,

because it would hurt me just as much.

Now I want you to go right out

and get on the trail of Mrs. Maxwell,

Mrs. Frances Maxwell, widow of Fred J. Maxwell.

Check up on every lead and get a good description of her.

Adrienne's mother? Yes. She's the pyromaniac.

Her motive's revenge.

The company broke and robbed her

and sent her husband to his death.

What happens to Adrienne?

What happens when any mother sees her daughter's in danger?

I'm banking on that.

She'll come out of hiding to protect Adrienne.

I'm going back to the office.

Get what you can and bring it by there.

Well, John, what did you find out?

Plenty. Swell.

Did you get a description of the mother?

Perfect.

When last seen, she weighed 135 pounds,

45 years old, gray hair, brown eyes, 5 feet tall.

Here's a picture.

That'll make it easy.

I'll have a thousand copies made tomorrow morning.

Yeah, that'll be great.

We'll crack this case by tomorrow night.

What else did you find out?

Mrs. Maxwell died eight months ago.

What? She's dead.

She died before the first fire was ever started.

She was buried in France where they lived.

Are you sure? Positive.

Aren't you?

What do you mean?

What are you imitating now, Fletcher,

a man who's surprised?

You framed that girl.

You're wrong about that, Grayson.

Did anybody ever tell you

what a low, unprincipled cad you are?

Lots of times, but go ahead if it'll make you feel any better.

You'd crucify your best friend to solve a case.

Go on, get it out of your system.

All right, Fletcher, here it is,

I've worked for you and rooted for you up till tonight,

but from now on, I'm against you every foot of the way.

Hello. Hello, Travis Detective Agency?

This is Fletcher.

I want you to send a man out to shadow John Grayson.

Yeah, lives at the Cornell Arms, that's the one.

Oh, nothing much.

Just got a hunch that he does better imitations than I do.

Cope, I want that Maxwell girl sprung.

What's the point?

The point is I've missed on the case.

That's why she won't talk.

She knows nothing about it.

I made a wrong guess. Go on, tell me some more.

Now look.

I'll take the rap with the newspaper boys or anybody else.

I built the case against the girl deliberately,

out of nothing, planted the evidence, framed her.

The whole thing's a mistake. But it isn't my mistake.

Everybody knows you're stuck on this girl.

But be reasonable, Tom.

Why, the case is spread all over the front pages.

Public opinion demands a trial.

Now, if you can go out and convince the voters

who put me in office that the girl is innocent,

I'll spring her tomorrow. Can I see her?

You know better than that. She's an arson arrest.

Held incommunicado in the psychopathic ward?

That's right.

I can't even see her myself

until the alienists complete a report

on her mental condition.

Grayson's been around trying to see her too.

I had to turn him down.

Even the newspaper boys can't talk to her.

It's only fair to warn you, Cope,

that some way or other, I'm going to spring that girl.

There's only one way that you can spring her,

and that's to go out and find me the real pyromaniac.

Well, well, well, well. Look who's here.

I was just going to send the boys out to find you.

Well, chief, what's on your so-called mind this morning?

We policemen may look dumb,

but you shouldn't try to pull

the oldest gag in the world on us.

Look at this, all wrapped up in cellophane.

Yeah, he sent it with love and kisses.

Tom, love is blind, but the jailers ain't.

Now here's an apple.

All you have to do is pull the stem

and inside is a little note.

It's got whiskers on it,

and tried by a man who calls himself smart.

I'm surprised. But listen to this:

"A, I got you into this and I'll get you out.

Love, F."

Ha, ha! Old man remorse.

He's been telling me the same thing.

You guys are pretty smart, aren't you?

Tom, on behalf of the guards of the County Jail

and the Police Department,

I want to present you with this

as a token of our love and affection.

And you can either eat it yourself

or return it and get your money back.

And let this be a lesson to you, Tom.

I have to hand it to you, Fletcher.

You're a good judge of fruit.

All right, sir. Yes, sir. I'll take care of that.

Fletcher, you're getting in my hair.

Good thing I'm not twins, there wouldn't be room enough.

That's not funny. Did I ask you?

What does this fellow John Harmon look like?

Hmm, slender, oldish fellow, about 60.

Psychopathic ward?

Yeah, and if they ever catch up with you,

that's where you'll be.

That's what I said.

Over here's the Woman's Observation Ward,

and here is the Men's Observation Ward.

And this is a big yard in between

with a wire fence running through.

Sure?

Say this joint is practically the old homestead to me.

And I want to tell you something else,

it's the oldest stir in the country.

Why they could sell it to an antique dealer,

it's got so many wormholes. If a fire broke out,

where it would it be likely to start?

Well, the paint shop would be the best place.

You see, when you're outside, having your exercise,

you can get into the paint shop there.

And above the paint shop,

is a laundry where they clean the uniforms.

Yeah, yeah, pure sense to start a fire the paint shop.

That'd be the best place.

Gimme a cigar, bub. Certainly. What kind?

Five-center.

Say, a man's following me.

Do you know where I can find a policeman?

Why, no, I wouldn't know.

Well, I'll find one,

and when I do, I'll have you arrested

for impersonating an officer.

Can you tell me where I can find a policeman?

What? A woman without an umbrella

across the street. There she was, 5th Avenue, streetcar,

John pulled a gun and shot the baby.

No ambulance around when he arrived.

What do you mean?

You dumb flatfoot, woman without an umbrella,

Johnson Troy shooting fast, 45th Street, kudo fast,

pulled out the gun, hit the pillar, shot the baby,

no ambulance around when the elephant got there.

Are you crazy?

Crazy.

What's going on here, Mulcahy?

This guy's as crazy as a bedbug.

Call the wagon.

Hello, John. What brings you here?

I just want to congratulate you.

You finally got the right man in jail.

Sit down. Tell me that again.

Maxwell case. Fletcher's your man, all right.

Say, wait a minute, son. You're going too fast for me.

You don't have to cover up with me, Cope.

He's in the County Jail being held for observation,

and that's where he belongs. Fletcher?

Yeah. How did you find this out?

Had him tailed. I suspected him all along.

That how you figure, John?

Certainly. And when the case comes up for trial,

I'll be right there to testify.

Mm-hm.

Well?

John Harmon.

All right, Al.

Get in line.

Tiberius Jones.

All right, Al.

Jones, I want you to go out and sit in the sun for a while.

Okay, but don't forget,

I've got to fight Max Baer tomorrow night.

I've got a bet on you. Time.

Frank Oleson.

All right, Al.

I'm tired, old boy.

Oleson, you're being allowed into the yard

for a little exercise,

but don't talk to any of the men.

Me? Talk to them?

No, sir. They're all crazy.

Take a walk. Get away from the fence there.

Take a walk.

Looking for someone?

No. No, of course not.

Put it down, Maxwell. You're through.

You think so, do you? You think so.

Well, that's one on me.

I never suspected Maxwell was behind all this.

It makes two of us. I have a confession to make, Tom.

I suspected you. I'm sorry.

Why be sorry? I suspected you.

Yeah, I know. But I had a detective on your trail.

Yeah, I found that out.

But you weren't really suspicious, John.

I had your phone wire tapped, a Dictaphone in your apartment,

and three Sherlocks tailing you in eight-hour shifts.

And it was Maxwell all the time.

Alone and unaided, according to his confession.

Right, Cope? Well, it's mighty lucky

he lived long enough to tell the true story.

If he hadn't, the boys would have arranged

to make this place your permanent address.

We might yet unless you tell us how you worked it out, Tom.

Well, it was easy. After I tumbled to the fact

that there was no real proof of Maxwell's suicide

seven years ago.

Well, but we found a suicide note then,

and his clothes.

But you didn't find the body.

Remember that, chief. If you ever wanna commit suicide,

leave the body around so we'll be sure.

But that didn't lead you to look for him in jail.

Well, if I must, I suppose I must.

Now step by step, the girl was in jail.

She worked twice as hard as we did to stop her father.

Even he had a little humanness.

He didn't want his daughter to suffer

for something he had done himself.

All right, what was his next move?

To get her out of jail.

How? By getting in.

And once in, he used the weapon he knew so well,

arson, to create confusion and cover their escape.

You didn't pick all that out of the air

without a single clue, did you?

No. I had a clue.

Just one. You handed it to me, all wrapped up in cellophane.

You see, F stands for "Fletcher,"

but it also stands for "Father."

"F"?

"F"?

Yeah, that note in the apple.

You see, gentlemen,

I didn't send that basket of fruit.

But you haven't told us where you're going

on this extended vacation.

Rome. And why Rome?

Oh, I don't know.

I've got a couple of theories to work out?

You know, I've got a hunch

that Nero played the fiddle to cover up,

and it was really he who set fire to Rome.

So I'm going to poke around in the ashes.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Tom.

And the best of everything to you always.

And to you, John, well...

Well what?

Just well.

And after that brilliant farewell,

the exit's to the left,

and if you don't mind, I'll exit.

Down, please.

Where are you going? Rome.

Really. Really.

I have a theory of my own.

Do you think you'll find the answer...

in the ashes?

I think I will.