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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:25,952 So, I figured, "No problem. 2 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:27,387 I'm never gonna see this guy again." 3 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,722 So now it's two hours later. 4 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,358 I'm standing on the corner I'm trying to hail a cab. 5 00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:34,961 Would you cut it out? 6 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:37,564 This is not the school cafeteria. 7 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,302 I need the discipline of a father. 8 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,138 Can we please just eat dinner like adults? 9 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,439 - Okay. All right. - All right. 10 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,242 Anyway, this taxi cab pulls up, you know? 11 00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:54,848 I hate kids! 12 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,751 That was an $8 piece of beef. 13 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,186 Here, it was worth it. 14 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:03,690 You know what, I'm gonna keep this just to teach you a lesson. 15 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,960 Hey, guess who's gonna be on my show tomorrow? 16 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,497 Don Francisco Miguel Carlos Altamira de los Monteros 17 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:14,501 y Canseco de la Torre de la Vega Del Palacio Del Castillo de los R 18 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:18,038 Garc 19 00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:19,105 Florence Henderson? 20 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,675 No. Reo Saunders. 21 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,910 - You gotta be shitting me. - Mm. 22 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,245 I don't know what you're talking about. 23 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,579 Who's Reno Saunders? 24 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:27,981 Well, Reo, Dad. Reo. 25 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,684 She plays Melinda on Classroom 310. 26 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,686 I mean, she's like the biggest star in the world. 27 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:35,021 And she's gonna be making birthday cake. 28 00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:36,189 She cooks, too? 29 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,824 That is so unbelievably excellent. 30 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,325 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 31 00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:42,395 Isn't she the one who sucker punched that photographer? 32 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:44,064 - Yeah. - You can't believe 33 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,932 everything you read in the tabloids. 34 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:47,534 They're saying I'm sleeping with Cher. 35 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:50,170 Sleeping with? One time! 36 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,237 Share and share alike. 37 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:52,772 You want to come, and meet Reo? 38 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,574 No way. I'm so there. 39 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,911 Excuse me, am I mistaken, or is tomorrow a school day? 40 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,846 So I'll miss gym class. It's not like I plan 41 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,215 on becoming a professional dodgeball player, come on. 42 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,719 Poor little kid like that wants a break, and what do you tell him? 43 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,520 I'm sorry, Jeremy, but you know the rules, 44 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,123 now, school is school, and that comes first. 45 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,658 I don't believe that's what you thought 46 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:14,361 opening day at Yankee Stadium 1968? 47 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,229 Strike one! 48 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,464 Or '69. 49 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,632 Strike two. 50 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,968 Or '70. 51 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,237 Strike three! Bravo. 52 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,740 All right, all right, all right. You-- you can go. 53 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:29,609 Great, thanks, Dad. Thanks, Uncle Eddie. 54 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,680 Oh. Oh, man. 55 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,928 Well, Reo, that recipe really takes the cake. 56 00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,164 - Positively. - Thanks. 57 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,866 Now comes my favorite part. 58 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,334 I can't wait. 59 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,203 Nice, even strokes. 60 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,606 From the base to the tip. 61 00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,907 Huh? 62 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,777 Not too fast, not too slow. 63 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,013 Don't rush it. 64 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,584 Make it last. 65 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,953 Oh, yeah, here it comes. 66 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:17,357 It looks like someone has done this before. 67 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,164 Good to the last drop. 68 00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:27,167 Well, unfortunately, that is our last drop of time. 69 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,602 Join us tomorrow when we randomly pick the name 70 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,706 of Christy's baby from cards sent by you, the viewer. 71 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,942 Oh, yeah, and let's just hope it's a good one. 72 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,277 - Bye-bye, everyone. - Bye-bye. 73 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,845 We'll see you tomorrow. 74 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,613 And we're out. 75 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,248 Nice show, people, thank you. 76 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:46,252 Well, well, well. 77 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:49,189 That was quite the show you put on there. 78 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,757 What do you mean? 79 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,626 You know, the way you handled that icing bag. 80 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,929 I mean, you would think it was a-- 81 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,597 Well, you know. 82 00:04:57,597 --> 00:04:58,932 Never mind. 83 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,166 Okay. 84 00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:01,601 Hey, Mr. Charles, 85 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,770 do you think I can have an autographed picture of you? 86 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,238 Well, yeah, sure. 87 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,475 There you go. Enjoy. 88 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,143 Wow. Thanks. 89 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:14,014 Hey, Martin, Jeremy, come on, guys. 90 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,116 You want to meet her? 91 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,051 Reo, there's someone I'd like you to meet. 92 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,087 Uh, this is Jeremy Tupper, my executive producer. 93 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,323 Hi. 94 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,760 I'm your biggest fan. 95 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,596 God, that's a total power geek thing to say. 96 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,499 Oh, no, not totally. 97 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,167 So, do you, uh-- 98 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,568 Do you like being an actress? 99 00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:36,870 Well, yeah. It's fun. 100 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,738 Uh, Jeremy? 101 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,173 Time. 102 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,543 - Is that your dad? - No. 103 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,912 I really liked that movie where your dad played a fireman. 104 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,113 Great show, huh? 105 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:49,816 Yeah, yeah, but that girl, Jesus. 106 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,018 What? She didn't upstage me, did she? 107 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,821 Upstage you? She did everything but blow you. 108 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,790 Oh, man, get your mind out of the gutter. 109 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,825 She's a very sweet girl. 110 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,866 A mighty touching scene here. 111 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,802 I remember when I was his age, you know. 112 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,671 I used to think those girls from Petticoat Junction were just-- 113 00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:15,842 Ah! 114 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,310 Jeremy! 115 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,813 Jeremy, come here right now. 116 00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,354 - I'll call you. - Bye. 117 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,156 Reo kissed me. 118 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:31,558 Yes, yes, we know. 119 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,792 Yes! 120 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,361 You'll never believe it. 121 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:35,929 She said she'd go out with me. 122 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,669 Way to go, champ. You the man. 123 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:45,672 Stop it. 124 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:48,208 I don't suppose we could use the apartment tonight to watch a movie. 125 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,944 That's correct, that's correct. Shall we move on to the lighting round? 126 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,545 It's Reo Saunders. 127 00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,547 I'm sorry, Jeremy, I just don't think 128 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,049 you should be going out with that... 129 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,851 - Ho! - ...girl. 130 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,854 So thank your Uncle Eddie, and let's-- let's go. 131 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,291 - This blows. - Yeah, I know, man. 132 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:06,459 I've been there. 133 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:09,095 Hey, do you think I could use your place? 134 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,398 I don't know, champ, I don't think your dad would like that. 135 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,433 So don't tell him. I won't. 136 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,770 - Hey, I thought we were pals. - Hey. 137 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,441 All right, I'll leave the key with the doorman. 138 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,509 Yes! 139 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,419 Hey, bud. 140 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,622 - The game just started. - Hey. Hey. 141 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,323 Excuse me, can I have a beer, please? 142 00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,559 Forget it. You're cut off. 143 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:40,627 What? 144 00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,063 I just got here. 145 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,399 All right, but I'm watching you. 146 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,603 Saw your show today, Mr. Charles. 147 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,706 It was really, quite entertaining. 148 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,474 Well, thank you. Thank you very much. 149 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,243 When that girl Reo licked cake batter off her fingers... 150 00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,611 ...man, 151 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,948 I almost blew a load in my pants. 152 00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,919 And if I could have some pretzels too, that'd be great. 153 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,260 Can you believe Jeremy, huh? 154 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,129 He wanted me to leave him alone with that girl. 155 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,465 Well, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. 156 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,600 No, not for you, he's not your son. 157 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,402 Oh, Martin, they're kids. 158 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,771 Think about what we were like when we were that age. 159 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,576 Say, Kay, next Friday there's gonna be a weenie roast. 160 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:32,412 Or there'll be a bowling party if you'd rather do that. 161 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:33,980 Kids were different then. 162 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,582 Oh, come on, kids are kids. 163 00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:39,551 Ooh. 164 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,190 This is, uh, different. 165 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,159 Not-- not in a bad way. 166 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,595 My mother did it to Bruce Dern in a movie once. 167 00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,730 That's, uh, Laura Dern's dad, right? 168 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,068 Come on, when we were 15, we were clueless. 169 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,038 Speak for yourself, okay? I was a very mature 15. 170 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:02,008 You passed out in assembly when Cheryl Castorini's hair touched your math book. 171 00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:03,343 That had nothing to do with it. 172 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,711 I didn't have breakfast that day. 173 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:10,650 - She had great hair, didn't she? - Yeah. 174 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,623 I like your tattoo. 175 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,926 Thanks. It, uh, didn't hurt at all. 176 00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:20,994 You wanna see mine? 177 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,563 Sure. 178 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:31,905 Is that a blender? 179 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,140 It's a Chinese symbol for tranquility. 180 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,675 That was my next guess. 181 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:38,778 I got it when we did Classroom 3: Tangos to Hong Kong. 182 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:40,413 That was my favorite episode. 183 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,486 We, uh, took a field trip to the stock exchange last week. 184 00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,922 There were all these guys throwing stuff around and screaming. 185 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,523 It was wicked loud. 186 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:54,027 Well, it sounds interesting. 187 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,628 Watch this. 188 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:00,600 What are you gonna do with that? 189 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,773 Cool. 190 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,908 I don't know. 191 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:11,311 Maybe I was a little hard on Jeremy. 192 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,146 Well, you can be that way. 193 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,615 Can I, uh-- Can I get you some more pretzels? 194 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,951 Sure. Sure, thanks. 195 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,286 Great, can I get you anything else for free? 196 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,490 Uh, maybe some mustard, a pack of napkins, 197 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,458 my shirt, uh, my wallet. 198 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,660 Hey, maybe you'd like to fuck my wife. 199 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:31,731 That's a very difficult question to answer. 200 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,833 Uh, you know what? 201 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,603 Just forget the pretzels. I'm-- I'm fine. 202 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:46,179 Uh-oh, beeper. 203 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:48,982 Shit, it's my producer. 204 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,752 Just a second. I can't believe this asshole. 205 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,921 I'll just, uh, wait here. 206 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,159 I'm gonna call Jeremy. 207 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,660 Uh, no, don't do that. 208 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,330 - Why not? - Uh, because, um, the game's on. 209 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,598 Don't want to miss the game. 210 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,034 I mean, nothing beats watching a good game. 211 00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:11,905 What are you talking about? 212 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,473 We're not shooting tonight. 213 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,810 Well, nobody called me. 214 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,346 Uh, Reo! 215 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,082 No! You cannot give my lines to Brittany. 216 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,485 Because I'm prettier than she is, that's why. 217 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,287 Reo! 218 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,456 - Reo! - I'll be there in ten minutes. 219 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,590 Reo! 220 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,928 Reo? Reo! 221 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,197 I've got to get to the set. 222 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,532 Thanks for watching. Bye. 223 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,437 Fuck! 224 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,609 All right! We're coming back. 225 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,312 Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What are you doing? 226 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,646 Wait, we were watching that. 227 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,116 Sorry. The People's Choice Awards are on. 228 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,284 I'm predicting a Murder, She Wrote sweep 229 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,387 That's wonderful. 230 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,622 Come on! Come on! This is a sports bar. 231 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,758 Hey! Hey! 232 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,760 You want a piece of me, huh? 233 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,828 He ain't quite right in his head, he ain't. 234 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,930 Why don't we finish watching the game in your place, huh? 235 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:14,300 Uh, or, uh, we could go to your place. 236 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,969 We can't, we can't, the table's out. 237 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,604 Besides, you're the one with the big new TV 238 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,874 - you've been yakking about since-- - Uh-huh, uh, or we, uh-- 239 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:24,244 You know, my place is way across town. 240 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,945 Have you heard about these yellow cars 241 00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,647 that for money will take you anywhere? 242 00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,482 I believe they're called taxi cabs, come on. 243 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,285 All right, uh, let me just make a phone call, 244 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:35,555 because I have to, um, call, uh, someone. 245 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:36,723 Fine. Fine. 246 00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:39,025 The award for best comedy series, 247 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:40,827 Mr. Fred Rogers and all my... 248 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:43,229 Uh, I'll, uh-- I'll wait outside. 249 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,967 Hi. This is Eddie Charles. 250 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,303 I'm not here, but I'm thinking about you. 251 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,905 That's for sure. 252 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,074 Jeremy, are you there? 253 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:57,677 Jeremy! Listen, your dad and I are coming over. 254 00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,280 We're on our way, so if you're there, go home. 255 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,948 Okay? 256 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,016 Jeremy? 257 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,584 We'll be right back after this. 258 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,652 I guess you're not there. 259 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,523 Shit! This is fucking perfect. 260 00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:19,933 Ow! 261 00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:28,074 Great. Can I get you a beer? 262 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,442 - Yeah, I'd love a beer. - Okay. 263 00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,112 Ooh, boy. 264 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,215 Oh, my God! 265 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,783 What? What? 266 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,152 This TV. It's huge. 267 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,187 I mean, you weren't kidding, were you? 268 00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:42,922 It's great, isn't it? 269 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,259 - Here you go. - Thanks. 270 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,562 You know-- you know the great thing about Ewing is, 271 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:53,366 he's like the ideal combination of offense and defense. 272 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,269 Sorry? 273 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,538 A fine player, Ewing. 274 00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,606 What the hell? 275 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,641 Would you uncuff me, Uncle Eddie? 276 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,477 I don't fucking believe this. You said you were just gonna watch a movie! 277 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,912 You know, change of plans. 278 00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:10,283 Key. Key. There's no fucking key. 279 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,484 What's that? 280 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,320 Uh, nothing, I was just singing. 281 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:17,757 Aha. 282 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,162 Ha! Found it. 283 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,596 Must have fallen in my drawer. 284 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,664 Thank God. 285 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,506 What happened? Are you all right? 286 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,875 - Come on, you're missing the whole game! - Jeremy. Jeremy! 287 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,377 Okay! Okay! 288 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,079 Come on, Jeremy. What's the deal? 289 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,081 I don't wanna talk about it. I just wanna go home. 290 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:44,484 Eddie! Eddie, you're going to miss this! 291 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:45,552 Be quiet. 292 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,093 What are you doing? 293 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,427 Missing a great game. 294 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,698 Go look in my refrigerator. 295 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,600 What for? 296 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,570 I got a lemon the size of a soccer ball. 297 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,438 You wouldn't believe it. 298 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,441 What am I supposed to do? Celebrate? 299 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,576 Really? 300 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:12,345 Go, go, go see it. It's amazing. 301 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,516 Okay. I haven't seen a lemon all day. 302 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,318 Okay, Jeremy, come on, come on. 303 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,821 Is this the one you're talking about? 304 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,957 Because I've seen much bigger ones than this-- 305 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,331 Jeremy. 306 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,367 What are you doing here? 307 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,537 - Well, I, uh-- - Was returning my plunger. 308 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:40,240 - Thanks a lot, champ. - When did you come in? 309 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,809 I mean, I've been gone for like, what, two seconds. 310 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,844 He's been here, 311 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,781 he was in the bathroom, plunging away. 312 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,517 Didn't you hear the "thwaka, thwaka, thwaka"? 313 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,185 - Huh? - How much I owe you? 314 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,520 I don't know, what, 50 bucks? 315 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,255 Fifty bucks. 316 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,923 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 317 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,893 I'm not an idiot, and he's not a plumber. 318 00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,594 What the hell is going on here? 319 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,963 I, uh, uh... 320 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,334 Jeremy had a date with Reo, 321 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,436 and I said they could use my place. 322 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,138 So if you're going to be mad at anyone, be mad at me. 323 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,443 Okay, you're grounded for a month. 324 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,044 Fine. Can we go home now? 325 00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,213 Don't smart off to me. You're grounded for two months. 326 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,649 You I'll deal with later. Let's go. 327 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,191 Man! 328 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:48,975 Oh, jeez. 329 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:02,088 Well, well, well, look who's here. 330 00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,290 Did you, uh-- Did you bring by some hookers for my son? 331 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,358 Maybe a switchblade or some drugs? 332 00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,160 Look, I know you're pissed. 333 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,896 No, no, no, no, no. This isn't pissed. 334 00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:13,298 "Pissed" is when you gave Jeremy a BB gun for his eighth birthday. 335 00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:15,935 This is-- There's no word for what this is! 336 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,104 Look, I'm sorry, you're right. 337 00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,806 You know, I-- I fucked up. 338 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,509 But have you talked to Jeremy about... 339 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,412 - the other night? - Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 340 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:26,880 I think he got me loud and clear. 341 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,149 And if he didn't, he'll have plenty of time to think about it 342 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,984 while he's grounded for the next four months. 343 00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:34,220 - Unless, of course, you're planning a breakout. - Okay, okay, I get it. 344 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,322 You're upset, all right? 345 00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:39,125 Look, I'm just saying, instead of grounding Jeremy, 346 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,727 maybe you should try talking to him. 347 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,762 Oh, really, well, you are the last person 348 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,197 who should be giving parenting advice. 349 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,765 And what is that supposed to mean? 350 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,635 You're nothing but a big baby. "Oh, oh, I want a big TV. 351 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,236 I want to play with my mashed potatoes." 352 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,839 When you're a parent, sometimes you have to have discipline. 353 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,474 Sometimes you have to be the bad guy. 354 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,409 And maybe if you could stop being the bad guy 355 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,111 for a fucking second, you would realize 356 00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,946 that something is going on with Jeremy. 357 00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:02,282 And what he needs right now is a good guy. 358 00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:10,824 Thanks for telling me. 359 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,840 What am I, a man or a mouse? 360 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,216 I love your haircut. 361 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,851 No, it looks really great. 362 00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:41,654 You want, uh, a soda or something? 363 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,490 How about a beer? 364 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,891 Two grape sodas coming up. 365 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:58,538 So, tell me about the big date with Reo. 366 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,940 Has it gone beyond a kiss yet? 367 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,042 What'd you guys do? 368 00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:03,777 Did you go to the movies or have dinner 369 00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:05,045 or just have sex? 370 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,481 I'm just-- I'm just making conversation. 371 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,684 No, we didn't have sex. 372 00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:13,520 Jeremy, it's okay. I mean, you can tell me if you did. 373 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,323 You know, I want you to be able to talk to me about these things. 374 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,459 I know, Dad, but I didn't. 375 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:25,198 You really can tell me if you did, you know. 376 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:28,068 All right, you want to know what happened? 377 00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:29,669 She handcuffed me to a bed, 378 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:32,072 masturbated with a vibrator, and then left. 379 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,280 - Huh? - You see? No sex. 380 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,285 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 381 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,688 Are you okay? 382 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,690 Well, when she left me there chained to the bed, 383 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,125 I mostly felt like a doofus. 384 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:55,962 But other than that, it was fun in a weird way. 385 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:04,938 Jeremy. 386 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,810 Sex is different things to different people, you know. 387 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:12,312 I mean, some people like to... 388 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:22,122 ...tie each other up, other people, they don't even 389 00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:23,490 want the lights on, you know? 390 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,158 So when the time comes, 391 00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:28,995 you'll figure out what-- what you like. 392 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,898 I think I liked it better the times I did it without handcuffs. 393 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,833 Well, see? See, there you go. 394 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:38,838 I beg your pardon? 395 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,307 You mean, you've-- you've-- 396 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,678 you've had sex? 397 00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:46,212 Well, not with Reo. 398 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,614 She just tied me up, and masturbated. 399 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,783 I know, I know, I got that part. 400 00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:53,753 But you're-- you're not a-- 401 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,189 A virgin? No. 402 00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:57,724 No, not for a long time. 403 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,626 Not since Christmas. 404 00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:03,263 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 405 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:06,466 Merry Christmas, little kiddies. 406 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,972 Are you okay, Dad? 407 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:17,110 I don't know, Henry. Things are different now. 408 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,245 Sure. Sure. 409 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,147 I know this is a lot for you to deal with. 410 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,484 But it was bound to happen sometime. 411 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,654 I mean, I'm growing up, and that's gonna mean some adjustments for both of us. 412 00:21:28,922 --> 00:21:30,323 Is there a chiropractor in the house? 413 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,725 But you know what? 414 00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,294 We're gonna be okay. 415 00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:38,098 What? That's what I was gonna say. 416 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,503 There's never a problem so great 417 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,805 between a son and his parents 418 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,273 that it can't be worked out. 419 00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:49,409 Dad, what do you say, huh? Two beers? 420 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:53,546 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That-- that'd be great. 421 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:58,485 And, uh, get yourself a soda. 30122

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