All language subtitles for vicious_2013_-_s02e06_-_wedding_1080p_amzn_web-dl_x265_ghost

today, Mother.

Now, is there somebody there to help you
get your dress on over your hump?

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Now, hold on, dear. I have another call.

It's going to sound as if I'm hanging
up, but I'm not.

I can't believe your mother's going to
be at our wedding.

What do you suppose she'll give us,
apart from the creeps?

Very nice.

You know how much this means to me.

She's been moving a little slowly
lately.

I wonder how we'll get her down the
aisle.

Perhaps we could shoot her out of a
cannon.

And don't mention the hump.

It's grown another six inches since the
last time we saw her.

Shouldn't you have her checked?

There's really no point.

Everything she's had removed just keeps
growing back.

Hello, darling.

Well, it's here.

My big day.

What? You mean my big day?

No, mine.

Jasper's back.

Jasper? Jasper!

My husband.

Oh!

Did he say where he's been all these
months?

No, and it felt rude to ask.

Now, just don't try to make this day all
about you, Violet. No, of course not.

It's our day.

It's my day.

I look forward to meeting him, Violet.
You did meet him at our wedding.

Nobody remembers that.

Is there anything more I can do to help,
Stuart?

Even though I'm completely knackered.

What exactly is it that you've done?

Oh, you know, this and that.

Is there a professional coming round to
do your make -up today?

Because you certainly need one.

Hello, Ash!

How excited about your big day?

Oh, thank you. Somebody knows whose day
it is.

I have some news, Ash.

My husband's back, and he's extremely
jealous.

I can't wait to meet him.

You did meet him at our wedding.

You see, it didn't register with
anybody.

Extremely, insanely jealous, Ash.

Yeah, got it.

Is there anything I can do to help with
the wedding today? Would you mind

walking my mother down the aisle?

It would be my honour.

I know how much it means to you to have
her there. Thank you, Ash.

I find the easiest way to manoeuvre her
is to steer her by the hump.

Congratulations!

What are you both doing here?

We're here for the wedding.

But it's not for another nine hours.

I see.

We'll just wait, then.

Well, you two really managed to suck the
life out of the room.

Actually, I need you both to pick up our
wedding cake.

Can you do that?

Is it paid for?

Of course it is. Fine.

Well, it was a beautiful wedding.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Just move it along.

Do you want to help us, Violet? I don't.
Thank you, though.

It isn't paid for, is it? Of course it's
not.

Hello.

We're here to pick up a wedding cake for
two men.

If you can believe it.

Sure. That's £250.

We were told it was already paid for.

It wasn't.

Oh, dear.

I'll stand here till I die before I pay
for that cake.

Fine.

I was only going to waste this money on
a pacemaker anyway.

Where's he going?

I don't know.

Well, how are we supposed to get this to
the wedding?

I don't really get involved in this part
of it.

Oh, come on, basically, it's only a few
streets. You take one end and...

I'll take the other.

There.

You

see

anything in the back?

Not at all. Oh, Jack.

I think I've got a tiny bit of icing on
my face. Can you see it?

No.

Now I see it.

Hurry, boys.

It's almost time to leave for the
ceremony.

You're right.

Who the hell let you in?

Please, you cannot flirt with me like
that in front of my husband.

I wasn't flirting.

I'm serious, Ash. He's very possessive.
He can never know what happened between

us. Nothing happened between us. Good.

That sounded very convincing.

You look very dashing, Ash. You look
pretty handsome yourself.

Violet, what are you wearing?

That is not the dress we picked out.

I thought this was more playful.

It's white!

Oh, it's the furthest thing in the world
from white. It's cream.

It looks like you're getting married.
That's ridiculous.

Really?

I haven't got time for this. What about
the limo? Is it out front? Oh, I thought

we could take a taxi.

You're a really crap matron of honour.
Do you know that?

Stuart Bixby, you look spiffy.

Say it! Thank you, Freddy.

So do you. Thank you. And I've only one
question to ask you. Yes, Freddy?

What the fuck is she wearing?

It's cream.

You look like something out of a Dickens
novel.

Is that good?

No.

I think you look great, Violet. Oh,
knock it off with the compliments, Ash.

making me uncomfortable.

No, we should go. I don't want to keep
Mother waiting.

Oh, this is it, Freddy.

The next time we come back to this flat,
we'll be married.

Let's just hope they don't marry one of
us to Violet by accident.

Oh, I've just realised something.

What? I've never been to a gay wedding.

Neither have I.

Oh, I haven't either.

I have. The Lord's a foot.

Then wait till everybody sees the cake.

How much longer will it be for the new
cake?

I don't know.

We have to bake it, I guess.

It probably takes a while.

At this point, I feel it's important to
mention how much I dislike you.

At least I'm here to help you pick up
the cake. We already picked up... Oh,

never mind.

Thank you for coming.

Shall we give it a go?

All right.

Let's make sure we walk very slowly.

Yes, of course.

Be careful, somebody on a skateboard.

Watch out, a bicycle's coming.

That was close.

I'm having such deja vu right now.

Well, everything looks lovely, Stuart.
Oh, thank you. It's really come

Well, it was a group effort. Shut up.

Is Mother here?

Well, I don't see any cloven footprints.

And the walls aren't dripping with
blood, so perhaps she hasn't arrived

There she is.

I just looked for the horns.

Hit him again.

Come on. Shall we go and say hello?

Oh, do I have to? Oh, it's our wedding.
Of course you have to.

We have to be courteous to each and
every guest. Stuart! Hello,

Mother. Hello, Stuart. Hello, Mildred.
Thank you for coming. It means a lot to

Stuart.

And me.

And may I add that you're looking simply
stunning in... that.

If I didn't know better, I'd say you
were 90.

Oh, why, thank you. Oh, I'm so happy
you're going to see me get married,

I know you've had to wait a bit longer
than you'd anticipated.

Well, I just wish I knew anybody who was
still alive so I could brag about it.

That means more to me than you know.

Can we step over there for a second?

Are you getting emotional?

No. I think she farted.

Where's your husband, Violet? Shouldn't
he be here by now?

Well, Jasper tends to be a bit
unpredictable.

Sometimes he's early, and sometimes he
disappears for three months at a time.

We all have our little eccentricities, I
suppose.

Oh, look, here he comes. Now, remember,
he's insanely jealous, so no leering at

me with your bug eyes.

Jasper, darling, over here.

I need money.

So romantic.

Is someone going to splurge on a little
gift for their wife?

I'm going to need more than this.

I owe people money.

Bad people.

You're so outrageous, Donald.

Come on, I want to go.

No, no, no, Jasper, we can't go.

Don't tell me what I can do.

Oi! Give me one of those.

Isn't he a riot?

We always have that.

Rapid fire, Catherine Hepburn, Spencer
Tracy, back and forth, rat -a -tat -tat.

Oh, where have you two been?

In hell.

Why are you dressed like the bride?

Shouldn't Stuart be wearing that?

They can never know we joke like that.

Weren't you guys supposed to get the
cake?

And weren't you supposed to be the one
getting married?

Oh, that's right, your girlfriend dumped
you. Penelope!

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

It's been a very stressful day.

We had a bit of an issue with the cake.
Oh.

The new one should arrive in time,
though, and don't you go anywhere near

won't. This is the last dress I own.

If something happens to this one, I've
got no clothes.

Oh, God!

You're all here. We're going to start
soon.

Did you get the cake? Yes, you owe me a
thousand pounds.

Yes, you do know you're walking Stuart's
mother down the aisle.

I know.

Yes, and are you ready with the rings?

I'm your best man, Freddy. I wouldn't
forget.

No, of course you wouldn't. I still
can't believe you asked him to be your

man and not me.

Why on earth would I ask you to be my
best man? Because I'm your brother.

So?

Are we almost ready to get started?

Oh, thank you. Yes, of course.

No. No, it's still me and Freddie.

I'm sorry.

I got confused because... She's dressed
like a bride, I know.

But thank you, darling. No, not thank
you. I had no idea this dress would be

such a hit. It's not.

We're being married by a woman. Isn't
that a bit non -traditional?

Well,

so is two grooms.

Point taken.

Well, should we all take our places and
I'll go and get Mrs. Bixby? And

remember, Ashley... Yeah, I know.

Steer her by the hump.

What are you thinking?

Katrina, there are a lot of unattractive
people.

Hello, Mrs. Bixby.

I'm here to escort you down the aisle.

Are you a little gay boy?

No, I'm straight.

I want a little gay boy to walk me down
the aisle.

Fine.

I'm a little gay boy.

Can I have a hug first?

Well, of course you can.

All right.

You're all done with Og now.

Mrs. Bixby!

Mrs. Bixby!

Oh, God!

Violet!

Violet!

Oh, will you excuse me, darling?

Bring me back cigarettes.

Oh, hello, Mildred. You look lovely.

Good, because she looks awful.

Is she sleeping?

Not exactly.

Did she pass out?

You're getting warmer.

Oh, good Lord, she's not.

Please get her off me.

What are you two dawdling for? What
about a start?

I'm afraid something rather unpleasant
has happened.

What?

Is she farting again?

Oh, she's dead.

Oh, no. Oh, oh, God.

Are you sure?

She once fell out of a third -floor
window and got right back up.

I'm 100 % sure, and if you don't help
get off me now, I think I'm going to

scream.

So dramatic.

Strange, that's the first time I've ever
touched her.

I feel like she's still on me.

We're going to have to call somebody.

No, we can't. What do you mean? Well,
it's been Stuart's dream for his mother

see us married.

No, we'll have to wait till after the
ceremony. No, no, we can't do that. No,

no.

Because it's icky?

No. Look, we just say that she died a
few minutes later, that's all.

Otherwise,

it'll break Stuart's heart.

Oh, Freddie, I'm not sure about this.
No, we have to do it by... for Stuart.

Well, there's no going back now.

Ash, I thought you were going to walk my
mother down to the front row.

She really wanted to stay where she was.

It's true. She was dead set against
moving.

Well, you know how stubborn she can be.
She won't budge once she's made up her

mind. That's true.

It was just a picture of time.

Right, that's enough. Get off me.

All right, come on, let's get this thing
going.

I believe you both wrote your own vows.
Oh, yes, I wrote them down and gave them

to Violet to hold.

Can I have the paper, please?

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

I left it on the kitchen counter. I can
see it now, next to the letters I forgot

to post. And it's a frosting ham.

As a matron of honour, you have been
absolutely no frigging help at all.

Let's just wing it. I'll go first.

Stuart, you are the bee's knees.

Now you go.

That was it? Yes. It was rather abrupt.

All right.

Freddie, 50 years ago, when I first
met... Thank you. Oh, that was sweet.

Now do your thing.

Frederick Thornhill, do you take this
man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

And, Stuart Bixby, do you take this man
to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

And now for the rings?

Hurry up.

No, we'll do the rings later. Just wrap
it up. Okay, then. I now pronounce you

husband and husband.

Yes, actually, I'm OK.

I'm just so happy that Mother was able
to see me married before she passed on.

She waited for you. She did, and that
means everything to me. And she had such

good life.

Well, a long one.

Ash, I think you were the last person to
talk to her. Can you remember her final

words?

Are you a little gay boy?

It seems fitting somehow.

I'm so glad you're all right.

Yes, I am. I really am.

Well, it was a beautiful ceremony.

And seeing two men married didn't look
nearly as weird as I thought it would.

It did to me.

There you are.

Come on.

Let's get out of here. Oh, let's stay a
little longer, Jasper.

That sounds good.

Besides, we haven't even had cake yet.

Oh, that's right. Where's the cake,
Mason?

It's coming.

I'll let you know as soon as it's here.

I said I want to go.

But I still have more maid of honour
duties to fulfil.

Matron. What duties? You haven't done
anything.

Well, it's all been behind the scenes,
darling.

I'm not surprised. She's pretty useless.

Now, come on. We're going.

Hey.

Yeah?

Don't talk to her like that.

And who the bloody hell are you?

I'm her boyfriend.

It's here.

At least no one would say our wedding
was boring.

I can't believe, after all these years,
we're husbands.

I know.

It feels a bit different, doesn't it?
Yes, it does.

Oh, look, we've forgotten to take off
Balthazar's tiny tuxedo.

There you go.

Those photos are going to look
hilarious.

And thank God, Violet is finally going
to leave that dreadful man.

She would have been much better off as a
lesbian.

So many of them would, really.

It was extremely chivalrous.

The way Ash defended her, I was very
proud. We're doing a good job with him.

are.

Do you suppose anything ever happened
between them? I never want to know. It's

too disturbing to even contemplate.

This cake is actually quite tasty.

I'm glad we managed to scrape so much of
it off, Penelope.

I even managed to save a bit for Mother.

Oh, and that reminds me. I must call
her.

Tell her that I'm coming over tomorrow
with...

Mother.

It's all right.

I'm here.

I love you.