Original subtitles

-Your Royal Highness.

-Mm.

-Is that you, ma'am?

Cute.

And how old are you there?

-Three.

-You were a knockout even then.

CHARLOTTE: Hm.

SIMON: And who's the gentleman?

-That's Lord Newbridge, Uncle Edward.

Pretty much the last time I saw him.

SIMON: And where is your father, the King?

-That's just what I'm wondering.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Sir, the lunch'll end at 1:30.

After that, you've got half an hour

with the investor's vice chancellor.

At two o'clock, the--

-Oh, come on.

I've only got two minutes with you and then I'm away all day.

-Let me just brief you on this. -(SIGHING) Stop being boring.

-Yes, sir.

After the-- after--

-Stop talking.

-Not here, please.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

They're naming a rain barrel after you.

-They're what?

-Your majesty.

Oh, thank goodness.

I nearly forgot your spare ties.

Oh, Miss Thomas.

Um, now this is your old school tie.

-Yeah.

-Then slip this one on for the Royal Hussars.

And, uh, then finally, this one for the Athenaeum this evening.

Sorry.

Do you mind?

-No, not at all.

-Actually, I should come with you to the car.

-Uh, great.

-Very busy day.

-Right.

-Morning, Your Majesty.

Busy day, sir.

-Yeah.

I guess I'll see you one day, if your busy diary can fit me in.

-Oh, well, I'll get my people to call your people.

-His Majesty's ties for the day.

-Nice to see you both so happy.

The Princess would like to see you later.

I'll be in touch.

ELEANOR: I mean, I can speak to you in absolute confidence,

can't I?

-Of course, I am your priest.

-Yes.

S-sorry.

I've discovered that my mother, the Queen,

may have conducted a friendship with another man not my father.

-I see.

Friendship?

-Well, you don't expect me to go into detail, do you?

-No, ma'am, of course not.

Well, I can only imagine this happened

a long time in the past?

-Yes, 25 years ago.

-Well, there you are.

I know she loved the King, I know she loves you

and King Richard and-- 25 years, is it?

Isn't the King nearly 25?

-Yes.

It all happened shortly before he was born.

-Sorry, shortly--

-Well, 9 or 10 months before.

Oh, John, that's not important.

My brother, whether or not he's--

-Legitimate.

-Yes.

I don't care about that.

I'm just so angry with my mother and I hate myself for it.

-Yes.

Yes, ma'am.

And we can talk about that at some length soon.

But I just-- the King might not be the King?

-Even if he's not-- ooh, one of us, he, he's still the King.

You are about to crown him, aren't you?

-Ma'am, if he's not truly chosen by God to lead his people,

then I-- I don't know.

-We can't cancel the coronation 'cause of some silly rumor--

can we?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-Have you've come to tell me the Abbey's burned down, eh?

-I've just heard that the young man I am about to crown

may be illegitimate.

-Who told you this?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

John?

-I can't tell you.

A very reliable source indeed.

-Sir Iain, ma'am.

-Your Majesty.

-Good afternoon, Iain.

-Uh, good afternoon, ma'am.

-Something urgent?

-Well, it's, uh, something, ma'am.

Are you well?

-I'm not saying I believe it or anything,

but she's got that twinkle in her eye.

You know.

-There's this, um, thing I've got word of.

It's, um, some nonsense, of course.

-Think of the best piece of gossip you've ever, ever,

ever, ever, ever, ever heard--

-Eh, I, I didn't believe a word of it myself,

but of course, it would be remiss

of me not to discuss it with you.

- --double it.

Double it again.

-So-- well, here it is.

Apparently--

-Queen Charlotte goes like a train.

-It's rumored that you had a relationship with someone other

than your late husband.

Of course, it's absolute to nonsense, but if it were true,

it could affect constitutionally the fitness

of your son to be crowned.

-(LAUGHING) Oh, Iain, what will they think of next?

-Yes, ma'am.

-It's ridiculous, of course.

You don't need to worry about it for another second.

-Yes, ma'am.

And I apologize.

I'm sure we have no need to mention this again.

CHARLOTTE: Good.

Who else?

-Several footmen, the King's valet,

chambermaids, two PPOs, Neil--

-I have to tell him.

-None of them understand what it was like back then,

what you were going through.

They all think--

-Hush now.

I need to see the King.

-How the hell did this one get out?

-Well, I don't think that matters, not now.

You wanted to see me for something?

-Oh, just, there's a rehearsal run from the palace

to the Abbey on Saturday morning at 5:00.

I thought you might want the details for a press release,

but it doesn't really seem that important now.

-Mm.

We've persuaded Nigella to do a special coronation

recipe using British lamb.

The government is happy, the farmers are happy.

It-- bores.

-OK, a little something you don't need to worry about.

It's all smoothed over.

Hm.

What's the news?

[GIGGLING]

You've heard it too, haven't you?

-Mm.

-It's nonsense.

-Right.

-Absolutely.

-I'm going to have to tell the King, aren't I?

-A welcoming reception.

And no brass band, even better.

-Ha!

-What have I done this time?

-Sir.

-Nothing at all.

CHARLOTTE (VOICEOVER): 25 years ago, I made a terrible mistake.

-Hm?

-I became infatuated with someone.

It, it lasted about three weeks, this-- Daddy was away on tour

in the Far East and, and I was lonely, stupid, and horrible.

And now everyone knows.

-What?

-Any minute now, you're going to have Iain and Abigail up here

telling you stories about me.

And I just wanted you to know that they're true,

but they don't tell you what you need to know,

which is that you are your father's son.

-They're saying I'm not King.

-But it's rubbish, Richard, I promise you.

I promise.

-How-- how exactly do you promise me that?

You know, because I'd imagine you

have to have some test done, right?

-No, a, a mother knows.

-Oh, please.

And it's all around the palace-- is that why you're here, now

there's no way of hiding it?

Oh, god.

Wow.

Well, that explains a lot, doesn't it?

-Oh darling, you must listen to me.

You are the King, you are your father's son.

-They'll kill us for this.

CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry.

-No, no.

No, no, no no.

No, I can't just change the list of coronation guests.

Yes, of course I've heard of Madonna,

and, and I'm a big fan, but I-- no.

No, it's not just a question of money.

I-- yeah--

-Abby, I need to talk to you.

I--

-Hi.

-Your Majesty.

-So, you're discussing me, yes?

-Yes, sir.

-Right.

So we what?

We deny it?

-We could.

Uh, may I ask how--

-Iain, it's true.

She, uh-- yeah, I might not be King.

The press are gonna take her to pieces, aren't they?

-They'll want to judge public opinion first,

then they'll ramp it up a bit.

-And then what?

-Then they'll go for you, sir.

You've no right to reign, that'll be the headline.

-No, it's not the headline because you are king.

Let's prove that and get back to the coronation.

RICHARD: Yeah, how?

IAIN: Take a DNA test, sir.

Prove yourself king and the story's dead.

-Yeah, but what-- what if I'm not.

-You are.

And if not-- well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

-Iain, I don't know.

Maybe we should just laugh this one off.

IAIN: No, sir.

-What, you're ordering me to take the test?

-Sir, these rumors cut to the very heart of who you are.

If they continue, it will be my constitutional duty

to discuss them with the Prime Minister.

And I imagine the Archbishop of Canterbury

will be unwilling to crown you until it's resolved.

We can't laugh at it and we can't ignore it.

-Iain, what do you think the press will do if they find out

that the King is having a DNA test?

-Well why don't we test the whole family?

That way, if it gets out, we can claim that we were screening

for a rare blood disorder or something.

IAIN: Yes, we'll test you all.

-OK, yeah.

Good.

-Thank you, sir.

-Oh, uh-- I guess we'll have to get Izzy back here then.

-It's not a problem, sir.

And I'll talk to your brother and sister.

-Oh, well, I can talk to Princess Eleanor,

if you'd like.

-OK.

-Oh, will you come and find me once you've spoken to Eleanor?

-Yes, sir.

Yeah, and, uh, don't-- don't be too long, eh?

-So the King's agreed to take a DNA test.

Very brave of him.

-Actually, Iain would like all of you to take the test, ma'am.

-Why me?

-No stone left unturned, I suppose.

-Are you suggesting that I'm the one that-- I see.

Very clever.

Who thought of that, I wonder?

-Ma'am.

ELEANOR: Please tell the King I will

do whatever I can to help him.

I just worry this will push him over the edge.

Find out how he feels, would you?

And then tell Major Brooks here all about it.

-Ma'am.

-Ah!

Uh, they're on your desk, just waiting for your signature.

I was just--

-Yes, you were.

Now then, these ridiculous rumors about His Majesty--

-Aren't they?

I was just telling Harriet--

-Yes, now, who told you?

-Uh, well, well, I, um, don't like to say.

-I do.

-(GIGGLING) I bet she's--

-Ruby.

-Yes, ma'am.

I'd be very grateful if you--

-La la la la la la la la!

La la la!

I can't hear you, I can't hear you!

-Hi, guys.

-Hi.

-Quick chat?

-Yup.

-Your Royal Highness.

It's great to see you back.

The King was most anxious to see you as soon as you returned.

Are you well, ma'am?

-Yes, David.

Better than ever.

See you later.

-So who told you, Jimmy?

-Rubes, but it was already all over the palace.

-Yeah, but actually, they all lead back to one person.

I talked to Margaret in F Division.

She got it from Victoria in fan mail who got it from Philip

over in accounts who'd been chatting to you.

I talked to Paul, the PPO, who got it from Carl

at the main gate who got it from Sophie, the chambermaid.

-Who got it from you.

Ruby.

-I never!

ABIGAIL: So who told you?

-I can't.

-Ruby, the Queen's reputation could

be in shreds because of your fat mouth.

Who?

-Well, he told me not to tell anyone, especially not you.

-Especially not me.

-Who?

I don't get it.

Who the hell are we talking about?

-Hello.

So what have you got for me?

-You piece of shit.

-No, I already know that.

You started the rumor about Queen Charlotte.

-They're not rumors.

-Yeah, but they were buried until you stoked it all up

and now the King has to deal with them.

Feel good?

Did Princess Eleanor get you to do it?

-Look at you, suddenly all loyal.

-She did.

You want to spy on the King and she spreads this story

about her own mother and he ends up having to take a DNA test.

Is she-- the Princess wants to be Queen.

-Dr. Hooper here will take swab samples

from the inside of your mouth.

The results will be ready as soon as possible.

Now, who would like to go first?

-Question.

This is all secure, right? 'Cause

I don't want you, um, cloning any of us.

I mean, you know, I don't want to see hundreds

of mini-mes prancing down the Mall.

-Keep the gags coming, fat boy.

-Oh, hello, nutter.

Didn't recognize you without your straitjacket.

-All right, all right, come on.

-Yes, come on.

This is for Rich.

I will go first.

-Why does she want him to do this?

If the test proves him illegitimate,

then George becomes king, surely.

Iain will have to go to the Prime Minister

and the PM isn't gonna rectify Prince George.

He'll want someone--

-More dependable in a time of crisis.

-They'll want someone who can restore faith in the monarchy,

and that's Princess Eleanor.

-Thank you, ma'am.

-Mhm.

-Who's next?

-Oh, me please, lovely Dr. Hooper.

-Izzy.

-Oh, come on, Rich.

I'm fine now.

I mean, apart from these uncontrollable

urges I get to scream "My own family put me away,"

perfectly fine.

Oh, come on guys, I'm just kidding.

All right.

Come on, Doctor, I'm hardly gonna bite your fingers off.

-Say the tests come back as negative

but he still wants to stay on.

Have you thought about that?

Illegitimacy is hardly recognized these days.

So many couples have their children out of wedlock,

et cetera, et cetera. He's still fit to reign.

What do you do then?

-Well, Iain'll still have to take this news to the PM.

See, that's the problem with an unwritten constitution.

He'd want to make sure the public

still wanted the King to reign.

-Which means?

-A referendum on the monarchy.

-Come on then, Doctor.

Not one filling.

Good, eh?

-Yes, sir.

Very impressive.

-A referendum?

Are you kidding?

He would never put his family up for public debate.

Can you imagine?

The only person to survive that sort of scrutiny would be--

-Princess Eleanor.

If he wants to stay or if he goes, either way, she wins.

And if the tests prove him king, then we

just go on playing happy families.

You know, you'd almost think we'd thought this through.

-Thank you, sir.

So that just leaves--

-He's not up to it.

When she's queen, everything'll be easier for everyone.

-How long have you've both been--

did you get me into bed-- was that all part of--

-I'll tell you what, let's not go

into what I do or do not feel for you.

-I'm going to the King.

-No, you're not.

Because you're in love with him.

And if you do anything against the Princess,

she'll reveal the book and you'll never see him again.

Or have I missed something?

You know, if it makes you feel any better, you broke my heart.

Just like the King's gonna break yours.

-Thank you, Your Majesty.

-Well then.

Fingers crossed.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hi.

I need to see the King.

-Miss Thomas.

-Thanks, David.

Hiya.

I was wondering where you got to.

Hey, what's that?

-It's a insider's report on life in the palace.

A "What's New" expose on you, your family, and staff.

-No way. Where, where did you find it?

Who's written it?

-Me.

When they came to me, when they offered me a deal to write it,

you were still the Prince of Wales.

You were so different.

My mother had just died and you didn't-- you didn't even--

I just gotten you out of some girl's flat and helped bundle

you to the back of a car and I almost missed my own

mother's funeral and you didn't even notice.

I was so angry and it was so much money.

I just thought-- I know.

And you're nothing like that now, but I've signed a contract

and they won't let me out and I've, I've tried

and I've tried, but I'm trapped.

Sir, I believe that your sister, Princess Eleanor,

is responsible for this rumor about your mother.

I believe that she wants to steal the crown from you.

She knows about this book.

She's been blackmailing me.

And, and so, you mustn't trust her.

-But I should trust you?

-I've got nothing left to hide.

Please believe me about your sister.

Major Brooks more or less confessed to me

that they've been-- -Get out.

-Oh shit.

The whole palace is falling apart.

-No.

No, she's probably a bit upset about something else, you know?

Flower arrangements at the Abbey, something like that.

- --MI5 and the Met.

Uh, I'll get back to you.

Your Royal Highness?

-Now this business, it's, um, silly, eh?

-Yes, sir.

-I just, um-- uh, there's a chance,

isn't there, that I might, well, suddenly be it.

So, um, I thought that maybe, uh, you and I, we

could have a, uh, um, a little chat.

I mean, I'm, I'm across most of it, you know.

Um, vis-a-vis the, um, religion thing.

Supreme Governor of the Church of England, right?

-Yes, sir.

Well done.

-I know.

And, um, then there's, uh, the Army, um, Admiral of the Fleet.

Uh, audiences with the PM.

Uh, they don't go on too long, do they?

-Not too long, no, sir.

-Good.

And, uh, there's probably some charitable stuff

I'd need to brush up on.

And then there's, uh, the Commonwealth.

My GCSE Geography wasn't really much of a triumph.

So.

Any pointers?

-What will they give us?

Two weeks?

Two days notice before out on our ear?

-When King James died, they had his page

out within 24 hours, heartless bastards.

-Well, it might be all right, you know.

-They'll probably want Jimmy to be

the new Page of the Backstairs, no doubt.

-I wouldn't put it past them.

-No, they'd never.

Not me.

Really?

RICHARD: Get Princess Eleanor here now.

-The story will never reach the comics.

And, and even if it does, they'll never publish.

And even if they did publish, the public

would never believe a word.

They adore you, ma'am.

-What's this?

-Don't.

Just don't.

I just can't believe it of you.

-I'm lost.

-No, don't do that, Elly, don't.

I-- why?

-Why what?

-Come on.

I've just kicked Abby out of my life.

I've read some of it.

She's told me about you, about Major Brooks.

-What do you want to know?

RICHARD: Well, I want to know why you're being

such a complete and utter bitch.

ELEANOR: I'm trying to help you.

RICHARD: Uh-huh.

ELEANOR: I am.

-Um, I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

It's all kicking off.

-How many more front page headlines

are you gonna drag us all through, Rich?

-And you'd do better?

-Yes, I would.

It's natural to me.

Why is it so hard for you, Rich?

I don't know.

Maybe you are going to fail that DNA test tomorrow.

Maybe you're not one of us after all.

We're meant to be mythical.

We're meant to hold the nation together.

Other, separate, divine.

And you act like a bloke in a bar.

-Elly, come on.

You're killing Mummy with this.

I don't understand.

-God, it's nothing to do with her or you.

-Right, so what?

-You're not up to it.

Our nation deserves better.

-You stupid, arrogant--

-Maybe.

But Daddy always wanted me to be Queen

and I'm not letting him down-- unlike you.

-You better pray those DNA results come out in your favor.

-Goodbye, Your Majesty.

-I think they might be in my office.

All right, look-- can I call you back?

Sir.

-Hi.

Jonty, my man.

So, um, there's been a bit of stuff about me in the comics

before, which, um-- well, it wouldn't look very good

if I was, you know-- king.

So, uh-- don't know I just did that.

Anyway, um.

I think my image needs a bit of an airbrush, don't you?

-Well, maybe if we saw you in church once or twice.

-Oh!

God, no.

I was thinking of something a bit more glitzy.

How about a new name?

What do you say?

-Well, it's not uncommon for the Prince of Wales

to change his name when crowned.

Yes, sir.

-Yes, Jonty, I am going to rebrand myself.

Wait for it.

Here you go-- King Henry IX.

Genius, eh?

-Can you imagine if your daddy found out?

He'd have, like, chopped her bloody head off.

-Yeah.

That's far too quick and painless for me.

-God, Iz, you're crazy.

Well, not literally crazy.

Just like, a bit mad.

Like, "Oh, you're so crazy, dog, you badass mofo."

-OK, that's fine.

I get it.

The point is, she helped him put me away.

They all did.

I'm gonna be Little Miss Perfect Princess,

all smiles and perfect behavior, do nothing wrong.

And then, when he least expects it--

[THUNDER]

-Mm.

-Eleanor.

-What?

CHARLOTTE: You must stop this.

-No.

-You'll ruin us all.

-Maybe.

-This won't make you happy.

-Daddy told me about you.

He didn't say who you did it with, but it broke his heart.

Not that he'd have given you the pleasure of showing it.

I visit his tomb at Windsor twice a week.

I've never seen you there.

Or Rich.

[THUNDER]

Ah, my Simon.

Come in.

-Ma'am.

-So, I was just interested to know,

when you were banging Abigail's brains out,

did you have to tell her everything about me?

-I'm sorry?

No, ma'am, of course not.

-Then how does the King know everything?

Ooh, Major Brooks.

If we fail tomorrow, what will you do?

That's all.

-I'm sorry I was so horrid.

You shocked me.

I thought I was the only one who fell

in love with the wrong person.

-Ah, well, love-- that's not for us.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[HUMMING]

-I have the test results.

Your Royal Highness.

Your Royal Highness.

ELEANOR: Thank you.

IAIN: Royal Highness.

Sir.

-Well, I'm gonna open this.

Mm.

Typical.

One bloody chance at being normal and-- no way.

[GEORGE CHUCKLING]

Yeah, keep laughing till it turns out you're the bastard.

-Yup.

No problem here.

-Nervous?

-Yeah.

Shall we then?

-Mm.

Let's open them together, shall we?

-No.

You open yours first.

-Yes, sir.

-Well, it looks like you're stuck with me.

I'll see you upstairs.

-Well then.

Phew.

-Oh, don't worry, lovely brother.

You were born to piss your life away.

Just get on with it.

-Yup.

You're funny.

-Beer, please, David.

Oh, uh, I want to go back of the details

of that meeting I had with the BMA committee.

Can you get the minutes sent up? I'm going to be busy.

-Yes, sir Of course, sir.

-No, you can stand.

So?

-So, what's it to be?

A big public humiliation, rescind my HRH?

RICHARD: Well, what do you think?

-You're the king.

But I don't think we really need any more bad stories about us

at the moment, especially when we're

trying to bury Mummy's mistake.

I'm sure I need some sort of discipline,

but I just worry you'll end up hurting yourself.

-I still just can't believe why you'd do something like this.

ELEANOR: I know. -You're the good one.

You're always so perfect.

I mean, how sick do you have to get?

-Sick?

-Look, Dr. Hooper thinks it's a delayed reaction

to Daddy's death, you poor thing.

He thinks you need six months recuperation.

There's an island in the Indian Ocean.

No perhaps, no duties, barely a telephone.

No chance of anyone bothering you there.

And obviously you'll have to hand over the patronage

of your charities to me in the meantime.

-My charities? You can't do that.

-Yeah, well, some people might even

prefer the king as their patron.

-I'm not sick.

-Well, it's the only explanation I can come up with for your--

-I'm not sick!

From now on, I'm gonna make sure--

-From now on, I'll see you coming.

Elly, just do it.

And calm down.

-No.

-We're brother and sister.

We can't fall out forever, can we?

You can leave after the coronation.

-Well.

Well done.

It's a shame about Abigail, isn't it?

Who on earth's going to look after you now?

-Ma'am, we've won.

And His Majesty has torn the Princess to pieces.

Which is awful, just awful.

But we've jolly well done it!

-Your Royal Highness.

How did it go?

Ma'am?

Ma'am?

-Robert?

Glass of champagne.

ROBERT: Right away, Your Highness.

-Ma'am, what happened?

Is there anything more I can help you with this evening?

-Oh, I think you've done quite enough.

ROBERT: Champagne, ma'am.

-Oh, Robert, thank goodness for you.

What would I do without you, hm?

-I've done everything you've asked.

I've staked my future on you, my reputation.

[YAWN]

That's it, right?

You're sacking me?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-OK.

-Your Majesty.

Wow.

-Yeah, all right.

You guys aren't gonna start crying, are you?

-This is going to be the greatest day of my life.

-All set?

-Yes, sir.

Sir, I don't know what Abigail did,

but it has been a week now.

I'm happy to talk to her myself.

Do you want me to dismiss her?

-No.

I need to do it.

Shit.

Can you get her here today?

-Well, we do-- of course, sir.

I'll arrange it immediately.

-All right, then.

Let's go and stick a crown on my head, shall we?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ALL: Long live the king!

[CHURCH BELLS]

-Congratulations.

I saw some of it on the TV.

You looked amazing.

-Yeah.

Well, no one does this sort of thing like the British, eh?

-I didn't think I'd ever see you again.

-No.

I read your book.

You just wrote the truth, like you said.

It's very flattering.

George will do this and that, and Mummy,

but-- well, I read it and I found I was smiling.

And you were right about Eleanor.

You've always been right.

Always there.

You'll make a lot of money.

-No, sir.

I gave the advance back and I never delivered a page.

There is no book.

It's dead.

-How much?

-Ooh.

Uh, 250 grand.

Uh, yeah.

I, um, spent most of it.

Well, actually I spent all of it.

And, um, I had to take out another mortgage, so.

-I love you.

You're clever and funny.

You're gorgeous.

And whenever I'm stuck, I always look around the room for you.

You're the person I'm always looking for.

-I love you too.

-Who else, apart from my sister, has a copy of the book?

-I don't know, not for sure.

-It was just a mistake.

-Yeah.

-But the press-- they'll twist it and screw it until you're

this selfish, evil bitch who's manipulating the idiot king.

The public only want a fairy tale.

They want a virgin bride without a past that's mad.

I am king.

I have-- I have palaces and households and wealth and land

and I can't have the one woman I love

because of one stupid bloody mistake.

I, I'm sorry.

-So this is it?

You love me and it's over forever.

This is-- it's, it's dumb.

It's--

-Yeah.

-No, I love you.

I love you and I don't care what the public wants.

And I, I won't walk away, so you just, you fight for me.

Fight them and win.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

-Everyone smile and look delighted, or else.

[THEME MUSIC]