Original subtitles

- The Highway Hunter serial killer

was taken into custody this morning.

He's been terrorizing Oregonians

for the past five years...

You guys hear he had four bodies

just in his kitchen cabinets?

He must have one of those walk-in pantries.

I love those.

Ugh, that guy is a monster.

Hey, uh, just a quick heads-up.

Today we're going to... oh.

Oh, my God, Roger? I know him!

He was my patient.

Back when I was an oncologist, I treated his osteosarcoma.

His last doctor turned him away,

said it was hopeless, but guess who brought him

back from stage IV? Ya girl.

So what's he on the news for?

Did he save a kid from a well or something?

- Amongst his victims, two sisters,

a mother of three, and a beloved Catholic priest,

all tortured and killed.

Now back to you in the studio, Katie.

Mm.

Uh...

I forgot why I came in here.

Is today Thursday?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Well, Kyle, your lab work and blood sugars

came back unremarkable.

What did you say you were doing when you collapsed?

- I was at a frolf game. - Frisbee golf.

- You were playing - Frisbee and golf?

- Frolf, yeah. - And I was just watching.

It's my roommate's team.

You passed out while you were just watching?

Must be pretty exciting.

- It isn't. - It's not.

- OK. We'll take it easy today. - Stay hydrated.

And Matt will make sure you are discharged.

- Yeah. - Your roommate's here.

He said he was gonna drive you home. Whoa.

Hey, uh, Ron?

Hey, buddy. You're OK.

You're OK. Is he OK?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're fine.

- Hi. - You left us for a minute.

- What's up? - Hey, Bruce.

Can you walk Mr. Casey in 104 through his meds?

Hang on, I'm having ChatGPT write me some "yo mama" jokes.

- They are ruthless. - Cool.

Well, you know, we can't send him home

- till you get in there, so... - Yeah.

I'm getting the jokes for Mr. Casey.

What are you doing?

Oh, you know, just making things nice.

Joyce hired my old charge nurse,

Pam, to come in and help out while April's on maternity.

She basically was, like, my mentor, you know?

She taught me everything I know.

- Oh. - Isn't she, like, super spicy?

Um, no, not super spicy.

She's a little spicy, like...

you know, like a chipotle mayo.

- Keith. - Hey, Keith.

Uh, yo mama is so fat...

My mom passed away in July.

Oh, sorry.

OK.

- Uh, yo mama was so fat... - Bruce.

I mean, the last time Pam saw me,

I was this nervous girl who didn't know what she was doing.

What's she gonna say when she sees me

running this whole department?

Good job? I'm proud of you?

I knew you could do it?

I mean, there's lots of options.

I'm impressed with how far you've come.

That's another one.

Oh, get a room, you two.

Huh?

Oh, that's just what you say when two people are flirting.

- We weren't even talking. - Mm, well.

Plus, you know I'm gay, right?

Know it, love it.

Uh, did forget, though, so.

Oh, news alert.

Stevie Wonder, age 75, legendary singer-songwriter...

Talks favorite chili recipe.

OK, they should not scare us like that.

I thought he died.

Well, that is gonna be a horrible day,

right, when Stevie dies?

Ugh.

That will be just awful, right?

Huh.

Right, Ron?

Uh... not really.

Ron Leonard, everybody.

You say the sky is blue, he says red.

- You say up, he says down. - Not true.

Sky is blue, up is up,

and I really won't care if Stevie Wonder dies.

- OK, well, I think you will. - I won't.

- I think you will. - I won't.

- You will. - I won't.

- I know it's not PC to say,

but celebrities are better than us, OK?

They are put on a pedestal for a reason.

So if Stevie doesn't get a big outpouring of grief,

where does that leave the rest of us?

Where does that leave the normies?

This woman loves to make things about herself.

Well, I'm not gonna indulge it.

Look at these Facebook posts.

"RIP, David Lynch."

"Gone too soon, Alex Trebek."

"This one hurts.

I lost a part of my soul today."

This is from when Notre Dame caught on fire.

Hey, Brandon, the Pyxis machine is jammed again.

Will you take a look at it for me?

I think Pyxis is French for "pain in my ass."

- Pam! - Hey!

Pam's here. Hi.

How are you? Oh.

- Well, never retire. - It's boring.

People look at you funny when you try

to give them a sponge bath.

Oh, little Alex. Charge nurse.

- Yeah. - You're struggling, huh?

- Struggling? - No.

I mean, the hospital is struggling.

When isn't it, though?

No, I'm, uh, steering this old boat best I can.

You know?

Alex, please don't make that noise.

Yeah.

Also, the guy in 104 is still waiting on his meds consult.

- Bruce, you haven't seen - Mr. Casey yet?

- Come on, man. - One sec.

There's this rat that's learned how to do laundry.

- It's preposterous. - Oh, can I see?

- I love that stuff. - Oh, yeah. Me, too.

He's about to fluff and fold.

Yeah, hey.

Your charge nurse just gave you an assignment, slowpoke.

What the hell?

OK, first of all...

- it's Dr. Bruce. - Yeah, Bruce.

- Bruce the Moose. - No.

Big, dumb, and slow.

Get to work, Moose.

Thank you, Moose.

What are you laughing at?

- The moose thing. - Pfft.

Well, it looks to me like cataplexy,

which is a type of narcolepsy.

Basically, it's when someone experiences an intense emotion,

your muscles shut down, and you could collapse.

Oh, good, so as long as I never feel

- an emotion again, I'll be fine. - Well, not every emotion.

I mean, everybody has their trigger.

Anyway, we're referring you to a specialist,

and they'll help you figure it out.

How soon can I get seen?

They said, like, six weeks.

So I'm just a ticking time bomb till then.

OK.

- So we're probably thinking the same thing.

We have to give Kyle a jumpstart on identifying

- his emotional triggers. - Pfft.

That's not our job, not even a little.

- But come on. - It might be fun.

- I disagree. - Come on.

If we don't, who else will?

Uh, the specialist in six weeks?

- Come on. - It...

It's emergency medicine, Matt.

We stabilize and move on. Stop being such a try-hard.

What's a try-hard?

You know, like, oh, look at me.

I do whatever it takes to be good at my job and help people.

Yeah, exactly.

No, it's bad and embarrassing.

Whatever. I'm going on break.

That was a good impression of my brain, though.

The new EHR system is just as frustrating as the old one,

so that's pretty much the same.

Um... oh, I did come up with this whole color coding system

to simplify things that people seem

- to really, really like, so... - Uh-huh.

Yeah, everything's, uh, pretty much in order,

don't you think?

- What's up with - J.Lo over there?

You let your nurses wear earrings?

- Uh, no. - I've...

I've been very clear about this.

Hey, Holly, what did we say about the jewelry?

- Oh. - Sorry, I forgot.

OK, let's not make a habit of it, yeah?

This is why I need a Pam on my team.

- Hey, Holly. - Holly, sweetie.

- Ow! - OK.

Now, imagine that times 1,000.

Some drugged up maniac gets a hold of them

and turns your earlobes into meat ribbons.

OK.

Sorry.

I mean, I hate to say it, but Holly's

not gonna wear earrings again.

And Bruce did help that patient.

So, you know, Pam's two for two.

It's not like she hit her.

She just gave her a little flick, just like...

ow. Oh, my God, that really hurts.

OK, but I don't think she did it like that, you know.

And also, I'm fine now, so...

Oh, Sherise, could we get some Chux pads in 12?

- Yeah. - Great.

Anything for the Moose.

Yeah, that's great.

That's great, though not... not exactly sure that nickname

- has caught on, so... - Moose.

Oh.

We're all laughing... me the most. You know.

Hey, Sherise, think we could get

those Chux pads today, you big moose?

- Whoa, dude. - Oh.

Sensitive Moose.

Bruce, that's seriously not cool.

Oh, but Mad Moose and... and Tall Moose.

Yeah, I guess if everyone's a moose,

then really, no one is. Oh, well.

Yep, that moose thing ran its course.

We had fun, me the most.

What, the moose thing? Doesn't bother me.

It's a cool animal nickname.

I'm actually in pretty good company

when you think about it.

Bear Grylls, Wolf Blitzer,

uh, Larry Bird, Seal.

Aren't those their real names?

Aren't you going through a divorce right now, Chris?

Isn't there somewhere you need to be?

Cat Stevens. That's another one.

You wouldn't get any more songs.

Huh?

If Stevie dies, I'm just saying,

you wouldn't get any more of his songs.

That would be a pretty big loss, right?

Hmm, so you're into the new stuff, are you?

- Uh-huh, yep. - Great.

Why don't you name a song from the last 20 years?

- What's up? - Go ahead. Name a song.

Uh, "Signed, Sealed, Delivered."

- 1970. - Go on.

- Isn't... Isn't... - "Isn't She Lovely?"

- Yes. - 1976.

I like that new one, "Sunshine Glory."

- Yes! - Thank you.

- I made that up. - Oh.

Val, OK, we're talking about musical icons dying here.

All right? It's pretty heavy.

- I don't know. - Remember when Prince died?

They played his songs everywhere for a week.

- It was kind of great. - I didn't think about that.

I'm gonna change my stance on this.

Now I'm pretty excited for Stevie Wonder to die

because it's gonna be a great week in radio.

- He's blind! - How can you say that?

Oh, my God!

- So I was thinking we could use this

to sort of test out which emotions trigger you.

- OK, that'd be amazing. - How would you do that?

- I don't know. - I guess I could...

scare you!

- Yeah, OK. - That wasn't scary, but...

- All right. - No worries.

We will figure out something.

Ah!

Sometimes Matt acts like he can somehow solve

all of our patients' problems.

That's not how our job works, dude.

Yeah, it seems like Kyle appreciates

what he's doing, but...

No, that's not how it works, right?

Fear is gonna be a tricky one.

If you really wanna scare him,

you should show him his STD results.

- What? - What do you mean?

- What's wrong? - OK. It's not fear.

- Mark it off, Matty. - Oh, thank God.

Are you gonna help?

It seems like you could use it.

You're blocking a means of egress, Val.

- That's a safety violation. - Hi, Pam.

So Pam crawled out of the devil's butthole

and made her way back here. That's great.

Come on.

Pam's just a... you know, a strong cup of coffee.

- Please. - You used to hate her.

- What? - I never hated her.

I maybe occasionally complained about her.

She was so tough on you, I used to find you

crying in the on-call room.

She was tough on me because she saw potential.

She's like one of those coaches from a sports movie

where the team thinks that they're mean,

and then they're like, whoa, there's a method here,

and now we're so good at sports.

Stupid! Try again.

So inspiring.

The whole flight to Korea,

I just thought about my grandma,

my halmeoni, what I wanted to say to her,

how much she meant to me.

But when I landed, I got the call.

She was gone.

And I never got to say goodbye.

That's horrible.

So it's not sadness.

- What? - I was so invested.

- I thought that was real. - It was real.

That happened. What's next on the list?

But your halmeoni.

- People forget. - Thank you. OK.

- Keith, what's wrong? - I'm fine.

I just got something in my eyes

and... and allergies and Pam yelled at me.

It was in front of everyone.

- It was my fault. - I messed up.

What happened?

She asked me to restock the trauma cabinet

with 3-0 chromic gut sutures,

but I accidentally did 2-0 chromic gut sutures.

And then she asked if I was trying

to sabotage the hospital, or was I just stupid?

And I said neither.

And she said that wasn't an option.

So I said, if I have to choose,

I guess I'm stupid. And she said, louder.

And so I said, I'm stupid. And she said, even louder.

So I said, I am stupid!

I tried to explain that she's just a strong cup of coffee.

Whoa, whoa.

OK, agile cheetah coming through.

Uh-oh, watch out.

Yep, old Cheetah Schweitz.

Not old, you know. Virile.

You are a chatty Cathy, aren't you?

Uh-uh.

Just loving the sound of your own voice, huh, Cath?

- What? No. - No, no, no. Not Cath.

I'm Moose, Bruce the Moose. Lock it in.

I'm good with Moose. I'm good with Moose.

It's OK.

- Hey, Pam. - Can I, um...

oh, what are you doing?

Oh, it's my fault.

I told Jessica to fold the linens,

but I forgot to say, don't do it

like a goddamn moron.

Um, listen, speaking of Jessica...

all the nurses, really...

you know, I try to focus on coaching them

in a constructive way to build up their confidence.

- Yeah, right. - Oh, Alex, you are a good nurse.

- Oh. - Thank you.

You could be a good boss, too,

if you stopped trying to get elected prom queen

and earn their respect.

I don't... I mean, I think people here respect me.

- That's not the... - Could you finish these?

Toilet's calling my name, and at my age,

you learn to listen. Thanks.

Hey.

Hey.

That Pam...

- She's a real firecracker, huh? - Yeah.

They don't... they don't make them like that anymore.

- Nope. - Yeah.

- They sure don't. - Yeah.

You know, she can be, um, a little...

- She sucks! - She sucks!

- Oh, my God. - She's cruel.

I forgot how cruel she was.

She's making everybody miserable.

Yeah, how about I give her a nickname?

- See how she likes it? - Yeah.

- Miss Fart? - Oh.

- I don't know. - Has she ever farted?

- Oh, I am sure she's farted. - Right?

- She'd have had to. - Yeah.

- Yeah, she's sick. - Pam is awful.

OK? Everyone hates her. It's because she sucks.

Yes!

Hey, Pam, they're asking for you in 2.

Hey, I got you water.

It's from the sink like you like.

I don't deserve it.

- Stop beating yourself up. - We tried.

It's not our job to solve everyone's problems, OK?

We were so close.

If it makes you feel any better,

we really weren't.

- Jeff? - You're still here?

Yeah, bro.

I'm not just gonna leave you here.

- Oh! I got him! - Oh! Oh!

- I got him! - Oh, no, I don't.

No, I don't. I'm so sorry.

Ugh!

Mm!

Yeah, sing it, Stevie. Oh.

I cannot watch this woman dance anymore.

Can you please just say you'll be sad?

- Nope. - Can't do it.

Come on.

You know you're gonna be a little sad when he dies.

Listen, when somebody acts all sad

because of a celebrity's death,

that is just a bid for attention.

It's really more about their fear of their own mortality,

watching the things they love fade away,

that means they're next on the chopping block.

And I don't hide my fear of death

in social performance, OK?

- Damn. - You convinced me.

I don't care if he dies either.

Come on!

Mystery solved.

I finally figured out what's triggering you.

You're gay!

They didn't have a face for gay,

which is pretty messed up, I thought.

Yeah, I know I'm gay.

I've known since I was 10.

Oh.

No, Matt, the trigger is Jeff.

- He has feelings for him. - OK.

Um, well, I still feel like they should have a gay emoji.

- Ally. - I was hoping it wasn't that.

We're roommates and friends,

and I don't wanna make it weird.

Right, um, well, I don't know how to help you now.

Um...

Listen, what do you do when you leave here

isn't our business.

But you got to at least try.

Tell him how you feel.

If you hold it in, things always get weird.

- Yeah. - She's right.

It's actually like my grandpa always used to say.

The only way out is through.

And he was talking about an eight-year prison sentence,

but I think it also applies to life.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll talk to him.

Thanks.

What did your grandpa do?

I'm not gonna tell you that because I am ashamed.

Oh, my God, this is so bad.

It's possible maybe she didn't hear us.

- You know, wait. - Really?

- Stay here. - Listen.

Like, can you... can you hear me from all the way back here?

- I think you're even louder! - What?

- She's gonna kill me. - You?

Now I'm gonna have three nicknames!

I gotta make a call.

Do I want to know?

Um, yeah,

we... we might have said some less than flattering things

about Pam and then realized that

she was standing right there.

What?

OK, well, then who cares?

Talking smack about each other is like 95% of what we do here.

You wouldn't care if your boss heard

you complaining about her?

- Your boss? - Oh.

She's not the boss anymore, Alex.

- You are. - Right.

She's just some lady.

- I know that. - I just...

I still want to impress her. OK?

I... I'm a good nurse because of her.

When my ex and I got married, we got this puppy.

Pissed everywhere. Chewed on everything.

So I got this shock collar,

and I told her to use it on the dog.

So, like, a year later, this dog is fantastic.

And I said, man, that shock collar really worked.

And she said, oh, I never used the shock collar.

He was just a great dog.

You are the dog.

I get it. I'm the dog.

You know, it felt good helping that kid.

Yeah, it did.

I wonder what's gonna happen with this roommate, though.

I kind of feel like I need closure.

That's what sucks about this job.

The patients never follow up with us about their sex lives.

But don't worry, I have a fake Insta,

Rebecca von Bubblegum.

We shall stalk.

So you think they have a chance?

Maybe.

Sometimes opposites attract, I guess.

- I'm gonna round. - Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

It's a question of liability.

I need to know that, as a doctor,

death is not the optimal outcome for you.

So I have made a list of famous people, special people.

And if you can tell me that you truly do not care

about any of their deaths,

I will never bring this up again.

- OK, sure. - I'll take a look at your list.

Don't care, wouldn't care.

Don't know him, don't know him.

I honestly thought he was already dead.

- Is this helping? - OK, you know what?

Death doesn't move the needle for you.

So that is just...

- that's fine. - Oh.

I didn't see this last name on the list.

That would be a bummer.

- At first I was confused.

Paul Reiser? So random.

But no.

Get a load of this. Zoom in.

What's that say? What's that say?

Oh, Ron seems cold because he doesn't care

about celebs, but he does care about the people in his life,

and Ron the grump cares about me.

I met Paul Reiser in 1999 on a cruise.

We were standing in a buffet line.

And he turned me on to Western omelets.

So, yeah, I will be sad when he dies.

Love that guy.

- Pam, we need to talk. - Do we?

Yes, I... I think that since the last time you were here,

- when you were in charge... - Uh-huh.

- The culture... - Ah, thanks.

I was just coming to clean this up.

- Crazy day. - Yeah.

That's OK, Matt. Just give us a second, OK?

- Oh, OK. Yeah. - There you go.

Live your life, Matt.

We like cleaning up your messes.

Oh, sorry.

Um, it's just there was this whole mystery and... and... and...

And... and... and where's your chocolate?

What?

Doesn't Forrest Gump give out chocolate before he launches

into some long, boring story that

nobody gives a about?

Lay off him, Pam!

- Excuse me. - You don't talk to me like that.

Actually, I'm the charge nurse,

which means that I'm in charge, not you.

You cannot talk to people like that.

- Also, it doesn't work. - It worked on you.

No, I'm a good nurse in spite of you.

And if I'm a good boss, it's because

you taught me what not to do.

You know what, Pam?

I don't want you around my nurses.

You're done here.

Fine.

I'll get my stuff.

You know, you turned out to be a real turd.

And by the way, I heard everything you said about me.

I don't care.

Farewell, Madam Fart.

Roasted.

Yeah, you know, you have to play a lot of roles

when you're a boss.

Sometimes you're a teacher.

Sometimes you're a therapist or a cheerleader.

And sometimes you're just a friend.

You know, do I make mistakes?

Yes, absolutely. But at the end of the day, I...

- Alex. - Sorry to interrupt.

- It's OK. - I got your favorite drink.

- Oh. - Why? What for?

Just a thank you for looking out for the nurses.

- It means a lot. - Thank you, Holly.

That's really sweet.

Guess I was looking for approval

in the wrong place this whole time.

Hm.

That's not my drink.

Yeah, Pam had a point. I think Holly could do better.

[bell clangs]