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1
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:44,871
Oh! Thank God you're here.
What? W... What's wrong?
2
00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:47,941
I got a caraway seed
stuck in my teeth.
It's driving me nuts.
3
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:50,176
D... Do you have some floss
or some kind of dental pick?
4
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,212
No. No, I don't.
5
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,347
I'm sorry. Any messages?
Production called.
6
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,383
They need your approval
on the Landsdale galleys.
7
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:58,918
Fenniman needs
to change his appointment
to three o'clock,
8
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,253
and some professor
person called.
9
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,856
Something about a TV show.
Oh, my God.
10
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,491
It's working its way
into my gum.
11
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:07,060
Wait a minute.
That... that last thing.
What professor?
12
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,596
Is this a TV show
I'm supposed to watch,
or... or what?
13
00:02:09,628 --> 00:02:11,463
No, he wants you to be on it.
14
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:12,832
A guest on a TV show?
15
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,668
No, he wants you to host it.
16
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,936
Who? Toby...
17
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,204
What are you talking about?
18
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:20,140
Gotcha.
19
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,775
I wrote it all down. Here.
20
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,014
Thank you.
21
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,318
It's called Book Beat.
You know, it's kind of
a talk show.
22
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,054
This is amazing!
How did it happen?
23
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,089
It's in conjunction
with Columbia University.
24
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:38,391
You know, my old English
professor asked me if I'd do it,
25
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,326
and I really, uh...
26
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:45,432
They're from
American Chemist magazine.
27
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,002
The swimsuit issue.
28
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:53,006
Anyway, I start tonight.
Tonight?
29
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,241
Yeah.
I'm a little nervous, you know?
30
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,677
Oh, don't be, man.
If anybody knows books, you do.
31
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,880
And Robin here can tell you
what you can do about
that shine on your nose.
32
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,184
I can't wait to see it.
What channel?
33
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,552
Well, Q.
34
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,154
Q?
It's public access.
35
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,124
It's either 26 or 58,
depending on your cable system.
36
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:13,860
That's... great.
37
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,528
I think so.
38
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,764
I see it as a chance to be...
On television.
39
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:20,100
Sort of a spokesperson
for literacy.
40
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,735
And I'll be...
On television.
41
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,570
Talking to authors
and exploring their work
42
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:24,537
five nights a week.
43
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,240
Prime time?
Midnight.
44
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,476
Midnight's good.
Yeah.
45
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,344
You know, all my life
I've wanted to be...
46
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,413
On television.
In a position to share
47
00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:35,582
my love of books and reading.
48
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:36,916
Bullshit, Martin.
49
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,385
You just want to be
on television.
50
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,821
Well, I suppose
that plays a part in it.
51
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,990
All clear!
Later.
52
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,062
In five, four,
53
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,997
three, two...
54
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,466
It's The Eddie Charles Show,
55
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,236
with your host, Eddie Charles!
56
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,538
It's Book Beat,
57
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,307
with your host, Martin Tupper.
58
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,928
Okay, Wally, you can go.
Show's over.
59
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,764
Oh, okay. We're next.
60
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,310
Uh, thanks for coming
on such short notice.
You know, I'm really...
61
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:30,470
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry I'm late.
Mr. Tupper?
62
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,238
I'm Terri Milton, your producer.
63
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,841
Hi.
64
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,743
You seem awfully y... young.
65
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,079
Oh, not for a sophomore.
66
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,547
You're a sophomore?
Yeah.
67
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,382
And you're my independent
study project.
68
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,385
This is Duane.
69
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,420
He's our stage manager
and cameraman.
70
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,490
Hi.
And he's also my boyfriend.
71
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:52,292
Oh. How cozy.
72
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,993
Twenty seconds.
Oh, shit, shit, shit!
73
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,995
Um, here. Go sit over there.
74
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,033
Oh, sorry.
75
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,801
I'll sit... Uh, no, I think...
Oh, okay.
76
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:05,872
Terri, uh,
77
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,307
where's our makeup person?
78
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,209
I have a... a shine problem.
79
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,643
Ten seconds.
80
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,015
In five, four,
81
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,117
three, two...
82
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,150
Cue music.
83
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:20,954
It's Book Beat!
84
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,222
Hi. I'm...
85
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,723
With your host, Martin Tupper.
86
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,761
Well, go on, boy.
'Tain't every day
you get a chance like this.
87
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,330
Go on out there.
Show 'em how you can
kill 'em dead.
88
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,132
My first guest
89
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,535
is an author with whom
I've just started working.
90
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:36,936
Meet Albert Tarver,
91
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,472
author of Don't Be Shy.
92
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,242
Mr. Tarver,
93
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:45,111
shyness is a problem
for many people.
94
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,647
In fact, you, yourself,
overcame it.
95
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,718
What was that like?
Hard!
96
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,457
Relax. It's first-night fever.
That can happen to an author.
97
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,361
Yet you wrote a book about it.
98
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,732
Why?
99
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,767
The money!
100
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,437
Ah.
101
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,476
I... I think we should
take some calls.
102
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:19,746
Uh, Terri, could you put
the number up on the screen?
103
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,150
Great.
104
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,493
We don't have
to talk about this book.
105
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,197
We could talk about any book.
106
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,305
And in the eighth grade,
I read all of Hermann Hesse.
107
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:48,808
Um, you know,
Steppenwolf, Siddhartha.
108
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,046
But think my love of books
started even earlier...
109
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,950
with an elephant named Babar.
110
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,188
An elephant named Babar?
111
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,991
Yeah, well, uh,
thanks for watching.
112
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,961
Oh, not just me.
I had friends over.
113
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,362
We taped it.
114
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,765
Third, fourth,
fifth time we saw it,
115
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:15,235
soda still came out
of my sister Gina's nose.
116
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,289
Yo, Mr. Television!
117
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,824
Your ex-wife's on one.
118
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,529
Jude.
Martin, hi.
119
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,230
Can you take Jeremy
for dinner Thursday?
120
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,366
Sure, sure. Listen.
121
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,901
Did you send me flowers?
122
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,637
No. Why would I?
123
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,805
Oh.
124
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,306
Well, I just thought, you know,
125
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,275
because of the show
last night that, uh...
126
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,277
Martin, I'm sorry.
127
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,579
Uh, Richard was on Nightline.
128
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:02,115
Oh. Again?
129
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,250
Well, uh,
try and catch me tonight.
130
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,386
Yeah, I will. I promise.
131
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,687
Bye.
Bye.
132
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,759
Did... did you see these?
Somebody sent me flowers!
133
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,195
Well, you did die last night.
134
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:18,898
Who they from?
135
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,268
An angel from heaven.
136
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,538
A fan.
137
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:29,242
I have a fan.
138
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,678
Welcome to Book Beat.
139
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:35,315
As you can see,
I have no guest tonight.
140
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:36,682
I planned on having one,
141
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:39,019
but my producer Terri
wasn't able to call him
142
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,553
because she had a psych midterm.
143
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,389
Sociology.
144
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,422
So...
145
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,792
we'll go straight to the phone.
146
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,662
Wow. Hey, uh...
147
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,696
We have a call!
148
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,036
Hello. You're on Book Beat.
149
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,570
Hi.
150
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,905
I just called to say
151
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,608
that this is
my favorite show on television.
152
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,543
Uh, Book Beat?
153
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,680
Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna hang up now.
154
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,548
No, no!
Don't hang up!
155
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,951
Uh, don't... don't you want
to talk about books?
156
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,620
Really?
157
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,055
Could I, with you?
158
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,090
Well, that's what I'm here for.
159
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,592
Wow. I can't believe it.
160
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,594
I can't believe
I'm sitting here in my apartment
161
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,497
about to discuss books
with Martin Tupper...
162
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,434
Who?
The host of Book Beat.
163
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,735
Oh, believe it.
164
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,570
Uh, what would you like
to talk about?
165
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,172
Read me a poem.
166
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,708
Read you a poem?
167
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,209
Uh...
168
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,078
I don't have
any books of poetry here.
169
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,347
Oh!
170
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,019
Best-Loved American Poetry.
171
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,521
Thank you, Terri.
172
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:49,923
That... that was fortunate.
173
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,057
And heavy.
174
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,460
Let's see what we've got here.
175
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,493
By the way...
176
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,030
did you like the flowers?
177
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:59,099
I hope it was okay
if I sent them.
178
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,667
Sometimes I get a little...
179
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:03,937
impulsive.
180
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,338
That was you?
181
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:09,309
Oh, no, it was
a very nice thing to do.
182
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,078
I love flowers. Thank you, uh...
183
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,514
Nora.
Nora.
184
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,051
Well, Nora, here's one
that's always been
a favorite of mine.
185
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,224
"By the shore of Gitche Gumee,
186
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:27,627
by the shining Big-Sea-Water,
187
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,063
at the doorway of his wigwam,
188
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,765
in the pleasant summer morning."
189
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:33,967
"Hi..."
190
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,674
What is that?
191
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:44,144
Oh, I... I think
we're having a problem with...
with the connection.
192
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,645
Don't worry, Martin.
193
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,914
The connection's just fine.
194
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,416
Go on.
195
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,456
"Hiawatha stood and waited."
196
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,165
This is incredible.
You know, last night
197
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,933
a viewer just mentioned
she sent me flowers,
198
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,768
and now look at this!
199
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,403
Talk about
the power of television.
200
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,872
How 'bout the power of Allerest?
201
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,874
Next time, why don't they
cut out the middleman?
202
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:15,909
Just send pollen.
203
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:20,480
"Before I found you,
I was blushing unseen,
204
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,615
wasting my sweetness
on the desert air.
205
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:23,649
Love...
206
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:25,751
"Nora."
207
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,155
Oh, well, I guess
she's an avid fan.
208
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,625
Crazy kid. Aw.
209
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,861
"Come live with me
and be my love,
210
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,329
and we will
all the pleasures prove.
211
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,665
Yours forever, Nora."
212
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,167
Uh...
213
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,806
Nora!
214
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,577
Nora?
215
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,579
Who is this Nora? A florist?
216
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,950
I'm mad!
217
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,418
Well, I have a head
full of phlegm,
218
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,420
but I wouldn't announce it.
219
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,455
Mr. Tarver, what's the matter?
220
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,224
Read this.
221
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,793
"Dear Mr. Tarver, Martin Tupper
is far too talented
222
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,596
to waste his time
on your pedestrian books."
223
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:12,032
"We suggest
you find another editor.
224
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,633
Sincerely..."
225
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,335
Nora.
Mr. Tarver,
226
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,936
this is somebody's idea
of a sick joke.
227
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,838
I mean,
I don't even know the woman.
228
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,774
This just came.
It was marked urgent.
229
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,008
From Nora.
230
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,145
Nora, huh?
231
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,814
Uh, Mr. Tarver, I...
232
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:28,848
Thank you.
233
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,316
Uh...
234
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,289
Do not open that box.
235
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,931
"Pink is not your color. Love..."
236
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,267
Oh, not again!
237
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,575
She's obviously been following me.
Yeah.
238
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,577
But she's right about that tie.
239
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,946
Eddie, the woman
is fixated on me.
240
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:01,481
Hey, will you
get over yourself, pal?
241
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,017
I mean, we are talking
Book Beat here.
242
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,019
I know, but the fact is
I'm being stalked.
243
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,387
The woman is stalking me!
244
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,122
Calm down.
Excuse me.
245
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:11,725
What? What? What do you want?
Ketchup.
246
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,160
I promise,
I'll bring it right back.
247
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,533
Okay, okay.
248
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,303
I guess I'm a little paranoid.
249
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,972
Hey, it's rough being famous.
250
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,684
You know, Dad,
I think it's so neat
251
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,352
that you're on television.
252
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,454
I mean, Scotty Fenniman's mom
saw you last night.
253
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,289
Yeah?
And my science teacher.
254
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,326
And Bobby's twin sister.
They thought it was the best.
255
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,727
Really? I...
256
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:49,962
Oh, my God.
257
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,402
So, tell me exactly
what's missing, Mr. Tupper.
258
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:58,038
That's what I'm trying
to explain to you.
259
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,172
Nothing is missing.
260
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,306
Everything's just been,
261
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,142
you know, moved around.
262
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,544
I mean, that bed
should be in the bedroom.
263
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,647
And this bookcase
should be right... right here.
264
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,049
I kinda like it better this way.
265
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,851
It does open the place up,
to tell you the truth.
266
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,620
Wait a minute.
That's not all. Look at this.
267
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,989
See, someone's been
sleeping in my bed.
268
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,626
Well, if she's been
sitting in your chair
and eating your porridge,
269
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,528
I think we've got a description.
270
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,296
I hate soldiers and policemen
271
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:25,165
and everyone who's mean
to somebody else.
272
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,966
Very funny.
Well, I...
273
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,702
Hey, Dad. Look at this.
274
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,970
What... what is this?
Romeo and Juliet.
275
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,272
It's a play.
276
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:39,212
"To Martin,
my star-crossed lover."
277
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,781
I pledge thee my troth.
278
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,316
Your beloved Nora.
279
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,217
Who's Nora, Dad?
280
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,318
She's a manic depressive
281
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,053
with a pronounced
homicidal drive.
282
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,888
She's just a fan,
283
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,291
a fan who's obsessed with me
because I host a TV show.
284
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,625
Aha!
Book Beat.
285
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:53,760
It's on Channel Q.
286
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,128
It's either 26 or 58,
287
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,496
depending on your cable system.
288
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,997
Mr. Tupper,
n... nothing personal.
289
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,367
I'm sure you have
a lot of on-screen charisma.
290
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,668
Now, why is she stalking you
291
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,403
instead of, like,
Jerry Van Dyke?
292
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,071
I...
293
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,674
I don't know why! She just is.
294
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,209
Mr. Tupper,
I'll be honest with you.
295
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,012
Uh, redecorating is not yet
a crime in New York.
296
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:15,415
Some people have been known
to pay for this service.
297
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,851
So unless we can prove
that she's a danger to you,
298
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,119
there's nothing we can do.
299
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,223
I've got to stop her.
300
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,424
Okay.
301
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,759
Let's take another call.
302
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,461
Hello. You're on Book Beat.
303
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:29,629
Darling, it's me.
304
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:30,930
I'm sorry to bother you,
305
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,099
but you have
a little piece of lint fuzz
306
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,234
on your left shoulder.
307
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,835
I thought I should let you know.
308
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,307
There.
309
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,078
Now, Nora, please, just...
310
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,246
just stop it.
311
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,847
Leave me alone.
312
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,849
You seem awfully tense.
Is anything wrong?
313
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:51,518
You're crazy, lady.
314
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,086
Yeah, something's wrong!
315
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,255
What is it, darling?
You're crazy.
316
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,724
Stop calling me darling!
Just stop calling me, period.
317
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:58,757
Now, goodbye.
318
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,800
Hello. You're on Book Beat.
319
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,836
Darling, we were meant
to be together
like Romeo and Juliet,
320
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:13,006
Heathcliff and Catherine,
Caesar and Cleopatra.
321
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,108
Those were not the healthiest
of relationships.
322
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,110
Nora, I don't love you!
323
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,946
Of course you do.
We have so much in common.
324
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,481
We both love literature.
325
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,683
We've shared a bed.
What?
326
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:25,685
Okay, your apartment
is a little messy,
327
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,120
but I can live with that.
328
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,855
Stop it, Nora! Just stop it!
329
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,123
Don't do this, Martin!
330
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,691
Don't throw our love away.
331
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:32,926
Leave me alone!
332
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,437
This concludes the audience
participation segment
333
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,039
of our program.
334
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:47,374
Thank you.
335
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,779
I don't think you should do
the show anymore.
336
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,048
Not do the show?
337
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:56,683
You must go on
338
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,051
because you have a talent,
339
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,552
and you will never be happy
340
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,788
unless you express that talent.
341
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,690
Don't you think
you're overreacting here?
342
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:06,926
Martin, this woman obviously
has a fragile connection
to the real world.
343
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,929
She confuses it with the images
she sees on television.
344
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,264
It could happen to anyone.
345
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,233
Bit by bit,
she's insinuating herself
346
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,135
into your life,
and she's getting closer.
347
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,971
Well, hey, I could
give up the show, I could.
348
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,840
But I'm not gonna let one
slightly overenthusiastic fan
349
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,676
ruin it
for all my other viewers.
350
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,843
Oh!
351
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,980
It's your ego that's suffering.
352
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:28,981
Here, look at this.
353
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,484
"Rump roast,
$1.99 at Shop Time."
354
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,187
No. Here.
355
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,823
"Book Beat host,
Martin Tupper is a good guide
356
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,458
"to the world of books," you see?
357
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,360
It's not about me. It's about...
358
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,529
Guiding people
to the world of books.
359
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,963
Exactly!
360
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,675
Good evening,
and welcome to Book Beat.
361
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:58,044
Our guest this evening
is security expert
362
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,179
Randall Crew,
363
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,915
author of
Get the Other Guy First.
364
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:03,849
Randall...
365
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,053
tell us a little something
about the book.
366
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,590
The premise, as such,
is very simple.
367
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,093
There's no situation,
no matter how threatening,
368
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,295
that you, the individual,
cannot handle.
369
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,565
Nobody move! I got a bomb!
370
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,598
Theoretically.
371
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,702
You must be Nora.
Uh-huh.
372
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:24,738
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
373
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,473
Oh, come on!
374
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,208
You don't really have a bomb.
375
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,210
Oh, no? Get a load of this!
376
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,444
Looks pretty good to me.
377
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,246
Thank you. I made it myself.
378
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,316
Okay. Okay.
Everybody just... just stay calm!
379
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:39,652
If it was me, I'd just want
to get out of there fast.
380
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,554
Just take it easy.
381
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:42,956
One more step,
382
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,758
and I'll blow us all
to kingdom come!
383
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,662
That's a literary term.
This is an emergency.
384
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,865
Look, you've got to get
someone down there right away.
385
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,034
Q. Channel Q.
386
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,236
I... it's either 26 or... or 58,
387
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,904
depending on your...
your cable system.
388
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,406
Wait!
Hurry!
389
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,779
Okay, in 27 minutes,
390
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,913
we'll be history.
391
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,415
But if you try anything funny,
392
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,250
all I have to do
is push this button.
393
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,484
No, no, no, no. No.
394
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,155
Okay, Nora, just stay calm.
395
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,058
Tell me what you want.
396
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,594
I want you to nibble on my neck
397
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,797
while you read the collected
works of Herman Melville.
398
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,699
I want to make
desperate love to you
399
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:29,135
on top of the remaindered copies
of Sidney Sheldon's
latest novel.
400
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,371
No, please, don't.
401
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:34,107
Don't make me do that.
I want you to be my boyfriend!
402
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,942
You two look
pretty good together.
403
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,044
You make a nice couple.
Absolutely.
404
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:39,179
Okay.
405
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,782
I'm your boyfriend.
No, you're not!
406
00:19:42,816 --> 00:19:44,484
Sweetheart,
how can you say that?
407
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,786
I mean, you're...
you're important to me,
408
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:48,788
and I... I care about you.
409
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:51,491
Oh, sure, now that I got a bomb!
You don't love me.
410
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,128
You said it on TV last night.
I got it on videotape.
411
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:57,130
Why don't we just close
our eyes to the facts
412
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,332
and nobody'll know
the difference.
Now what do you say?
413
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,234
But that was before I met you.
414
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,371
You see, now we can
get to know each other.
415
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,404
Uh...
416
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,575
do you have any hobbies?
417
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,344
I mean, other than explosives?
418
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,152
Hold it, lady!
I'm his wife.
419
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,487
Was his wife. Ex-wife.
420
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,155
Look,
I'm a trained psychologist.
421
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,823
We've only got 19 minutes.
422
00:20:23,857 --> 00:20:27,293
Listen to me, Nora.
This is between you and me.
423
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,928
If... if you set this bomb off,
424
00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:30,330
you'll be killing
innocent people.
425
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,998
He's got a point there.
He's right.
426
00:20:32,032 --> 00:20:33,633
Absolutely.
427
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,635
Okay. Then get out.
428
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:39,072
Now! Not you!
429
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,208
Just sit there!
430
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,376
Nora.
431
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,680
Do you really want
to blow us both up?
432
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,449
Oh, yeah, if I can't have you,
then nobody can.
433
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,085
And if you die,
I have nothing to live for.
434
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,553
I can't argue with you on that.
435
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,622
But there are lots
of other guys out there.
436
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,624
I mean you'll...
you'll find someone else.
437
00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:58,958
I don't want someone else.
438
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:00,794
I want you. You're important.
439
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,028
You're on television.
440
00:21:02,062 --> 00:21:03,630
Well... well,
sure, I'm on television,
441
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,331
but I... it's really no big deal.
442
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,534
I mean, look,
you're on TV right now too.
443
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,369
That's only
because I'm gonna blow you up.
444
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,004
You're the one with the TV show.
445
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:14,708
I'm just like a special
guest star or something.
446
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,176
But you could have
your own show,
447
00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:19,579
and then someone wonderful
might obsess about you.
448
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,716
Well, I wouldn't know
how to host a television show.
449
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,117
Oh, sure, you could.
450
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,785
I'll help you.
451
00:21:25,819 --> 00:21:27,320
How 'bout that, Nora?
452
00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:30,256
Just... just look at the camera.
453
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,825
See?
454
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:33,526
Yeah. That's it.
455
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,664
Hello, I'm Martin Tupper...
456
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:40,100
and, uh...
457
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,103
And...
458
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,071
Oh, and I'm Nora Abramowitz.
459
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:47,707
I can shorten it
for the listings.
460
00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:50,010
And this is
the Nora Abramowitz Show.
461
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:53,880
Tell us a little something
about yourself, Nora.
462
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,482
Okay.
463
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,817
Well, I've worked
at Dellman Books
464
00:21:57,851 --> 00:21:59,919
for the last 15 years.
465
00:21:59,953 --> 00:22:02,255
I saw Martin Tupper
on television.
466
00:22:02,288 --> 00:22:03,690
I fell in love with him,
467
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,993
he ignored me,
and my life turned to shit.
468
00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:08,128
Okay.
469
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:10,764
And, uh, I'm Martin Tupper,
470
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:12,932
and I'm basically
being held hostage here.
471
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:15,969
Why don't we go to a call?
472
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:21,174
One moment, please.
473
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,347
Please.
474
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:34,354
Is the caller there?
Nora, my name is Judith.
475
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:39,993
I know what you're feeling.
You're carrying around
a lot of anger toward this man.
476
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,629
Out of the way!
Yeah, what's the point, caller?
477
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:44,764
Oh, good, I thought
he'd be toast by now.
Shh!
478
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:49,936
Nora, I know what it is
to have your hopes shattered.
479
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,504
I was married to Martin.
480
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,606
At first,
I thought he was wonderful.
481
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,875
And when I discovered
most of that was fantasy,
482
00:22:55,909 --> 00:22:58,178
I... I harbored great anger
483
00:22:58,211 --> 00:23:00,547
and, yes,
even thoughts of revenge.
484
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:03,216
Thank you for your enthusiasm
and your help.
485
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:05,919
But I worked through
my anger, Nora,
486
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:09,389
and today I'm in
a much healthier relationship,
487
00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:10,924
and you can be too.
488
00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:13,193
Now, your first step to recovery
489
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:16,262
is to disconnect the bomb.
490
00:23:16,296 --> 00:23:17,697
Well,
491
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:19,499
that's certainly
one point of view.
492
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:22,102
Thanks for calling.
Let's take another caller.
493
00:23:23,136 --> 00:23:24,571
Coming through.
Excuse me.
494
00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:26,306
Go ahead, caller.
You're on the air.
495
00:23:26,339 --> 00:23:27,540
I heard about it on the news.
496
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,875
There's two minutes to go.
497
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,076
Oh, my God.
498
00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,179
Well,
499
00:23:33,213 --> 00:23:35,515
Judith, Toby, this is Corinne.
500
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,885
You brought a date
to a hostage crisis?
501
00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:41,654
Well, caller,
502
00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:43,923
it sounds like you're in
a bad relationship too,
503
00:23:43,957 --> 00:23:46,059
but you don't have
to make a bomb.
504
00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,294
There are lots of other ways
to eliminate your partner.
505
00:23:48,328 --> 00:23:51,131
You can read about most of them
at your local public library.
506
00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:52,766
Just ask your librarian
for help.
507
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:57,637
Oh, yeah.
And don't let them pull
that card catalogue shit either.
508
00:23:57,671 --> 00:23:59,839
'Cause that's what
they're there for.
509
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:03,710
Nora, please.
We've got 30 seconds left.
510
00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:04,811
Oh. Right.
511
00:24:05,979 --> 00:24:08,081
I'm sorry.
That's all the time we have.
512
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:10,183
I'm Nora Abramowitz saying
513
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:12,986
good night and good reading.
514
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,287
No, wait! Wait.
515
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,622
Nora.
516
00:24:15,655 --> 00:24:17,590
You know, you were wonderful.
517
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,926
And I've... I've got some...
some great ideas
518
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,094
for tomorrow night's show.
519
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:22,395
Martin, tomorrow night
520
00:24:22,429 --> 00:24:24,330
they'll still be scraping us
off the walls.
521
00:24:24,364 --> 00:24:26,833
But...
I'm sorry,
but nothing's changed.
522
00:24:26,866 --> 00:24:28,535
You still don't love me.
523
00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,036
I mean, we had
a good time tonight,
524
00:24:30,070 --> 00:24:33,039
but come on,
it was just television.
525
00:24:33,073 --> 00:24:34,207
Say good night, Martin.
526
00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:40,113
In ten, nine,
527
00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:42,115
eight, seven,
528
00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:44,250
six, five,
529
00:24:44,284 --> 00:24:46,486
four, three,
530
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:47,821
two...
531
00:24:47,854 --> 00:24:49,122
Good night.
Goodbye.
532
00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:51,124
Goodbye, darling.
Goodbye, Hanky.
533
00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,192
One.
534
00:24:58,565 --> 00:24:59,565
Hmm.
535
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,869
Red goes to red.
536
00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:06,139
I'm experiencing
technical difficulties.
537
00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:08,008
Please stand by.
538
00:25:08,041 --> 00:25:09,042
I will not die.
539
00:25:12,412 --> 00:25:14,414
I got the button!
I got the button!
540
00:25:14,447 --> 00:25:17,984
Martin!
Oh, thank God you're all right!
Oh, you had us worried, pal!
541
00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:21,154
For a minute there, I thought
I was gonna have to pick you up
with a DustBuster.
542
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,555
Mr. Tupper! Mr. Tupper!
543
00:25:22,589 --> 00:25:24,190
Whoa, whoa!
Give the man a break!
544
00:25:24,224 --> 00:25:26,026
He's just been through
a terrible ordeal.
545
00:25:26,059 --> 00:25:28,661
Martin, man,
if you need to talk about it,
I'm right here for you.
546
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:30,730
Is tomorrow's show okay?
Martin. We're a hit!
547
00:25:30,764 --> 00:25:33,199
Channel 9 just called.
They want to pick up the show.
548
00:25:33,233 --> 00:25:35,568
Channel 9, Martin!
That's a number!
549
00:25:35,602 --> 00:25:37,270
I'll be watching.
550
00:25:38,405 --> 00:25:40,774
I'm sorry, Terri, you're gonna
have to find another host.
551
00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,676
But I'm sure there are
millions of people
552
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,349
who would kill to be...
On television.
553
00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:46,246
Terrorized
for your viewing pleasure.
554
00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:47,714
Let... let's get out of here.
38740
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