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The story so far...
2
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So there's this, um, guy
3
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and he has this, um...
4
00:01:37,835 --> 00:01:39,876
kangaroo move into his apartment.
5
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And this guy
6
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had a crush on his neighbor.
7
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And his neighbor, um, she...
8
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Let me do this.
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The story so far...
10
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In 1852,
11
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in the ruins of Ashurbanipal's Library
12
00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:04,292
in Nineveh,
a 3,000-year-old clay tablet was found.
13
00:02:08,918 --> 00:02:14,167
44 years later, A ssyriologist
Heinrich Zimmern from Baden
14
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,334
translated the writing
on the tablet into German.
15
00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:22,835
On the tablet, the arbiter of wisdom
Shaggil-kinam-ubib noted...
16
00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:26,167
..."If you really look,
17
00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:29,251
you see that people are
18
00:02:30,543 --> 00:02:32,584
by and large, stupid."
19
00:02:33,209 --> 00:02:35,668
That sums things up pretty well.
20
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,584
So, imagine you go to the movies.
21
00:02:41,751 --> 00:02:43,501
The movie starts, but you see nothing
22
00:02:43,668 --> 00:02:46,584
because it's set in a dark restaurant.
23
00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:49,126
-Okay.
-And I've already got a title.
24
00:02:49,292 --> 00:02:51,792
-"Blind Date"?
-Uh, yeah.
25
00:02:52,792 --> 00:02:55,000
You really can't see anything.
26
00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:57,710
Hey, stop!
You want me to do that to you?
27
00:02:57,834 --> 00:02:59,792
Ow! My eye!
28
00:02:59,917 --> 00:03:03,042
-I can't see! I'm blind!
-Why exactly is the kangaroo here?
29
00:03:03,209 --> 00:03:05,626
-It just came along.
-He needs help.
30
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:07,501
I don't need help!
31
00:03:07,668 --> 00:03:09,418
Well, then go ahead.
32
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,292
So...
33
00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:17,917
It really is funny.
You can't see anything at all.
34
00:03:18,084 --> 00:03:21,084
If we can't talk on the first date,
it'll be tough.
35
00:03:21,251 --> 00:03:25,042
Isn't that inevitable? Do your parents
still talk to each other?
36
00:03:25,209 --> 00:03:27,334
-My dad's dead.
-Oh, yeah. Right.
37
00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:28,625
Sorry.
38
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,334
-Bling!
-"Bling"?
39
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,834
-I'm counting your blunders.
-Not helpful.
40
00:03:32,1000 --> 00:03:36,542
All right, one vegan, one vegetarian,
and one with everything.
41
00:03:36,709 --> 00:03:37,917
Enjoy your meal.
42
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,709
-Thank you.
-Finally.
43
00:03:42,542 --> 00:03:45,209
How's yours? Mine's pretty dry.
44
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:47,667
Because you're eating the decorations.
45
00:03:47,834 --> 00:03:51,834
How dumb would it be to have decorations
in a dark restaurant?
46
00:03:51,1000 --> 00:03:55,251
What are you doing?
You can't turn on a flashlight in here.
47
00:03:55,458 --> 00:03:57,875
That's not a flashlight.
48
00:03:58,126 --> 00:04:00,292
-That is a flashlight.
-Dude!
49
00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:04,251
-What are you doing?
-I can't see anything.
50
00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:06,167
That's the point.
51
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:09,583
-I thought this was a dark restaurant.
-Yeah...
52
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:14,042
I set my mom up on Facebook so
she wouldn't be so lonely in Backwood.
53
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:17,500
But now she's denying climate change.
54
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,875
-My uncle was afraid of chemtrails.
-Was?
55
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:23,1000
Yeah, he was always looking up
at the sky and got hit by a tram.
56
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:27,875
-Sorry, of course, that's not funny.
-Well, it kind of is.
57
00:04:28,042 --> 00:04:31,208
Anyway, now my mom keeps sending me
Adam Krieger videos.
58
00:04:31,417 --> 00:04:35,166
At first I didn't take it seriously,
but now we just yell at each other.
59
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:37,208
-I've got to go.
-Tell the waiter.
60
00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:40,792
Nonsense,
I have a great sense of direction.
61
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,250
-Hey!
-Sorry, wrong direction.
62
00:04:43,458 --> 00:04:46,417
Please sneak out before the next date.
63
00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:48,458
-Sorry.
-I tried to do that today.
64
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:51,041
Whose dog is running free in here?
65
00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:54,458
TOILETS
66
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,999
We have about 60 seconds.
Time to speed date.
67
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:06,166
What is your favorite
book, film, animal,
68
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,709
color, city, country, river, joke?
69
00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:11,874
"Momo", "The Matrix", pig,
black, Paris, Portugal, Spree,
70
00:05:12,041 --> 00:05:14,833
and the joke: how do you recognize
a vegan at a party?
71
00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:16,999
She'll tell you.
72
00:05:17,874 --> 00:05:19,542
Now you.
73
00:05:21,417 --> 00:05:22,542
-Can I...
-No.
74
00:05:22,749 --> 00:05:24,958
-...name five each?
-No.
75
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,833
WHERE YOU ATE?
SPILL DON'T STARE
76
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,624
Why is it red
if you're not supposed to push it?
77
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,125
Get out!
78
00:05:37,417 --> 00:05:40,999
-Your table decorations are far too dry!
-Don't touch me.
79
00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:43,500
And where's my flashlight?
80
00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:48,541
-Banned!
-I'll come again... Uh, be back!
81
00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:51,624
Oh, damn it. Screwed up the quote.
82
00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:54,291
I'm your uncle...
83
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:57,958
-...father.
-Fly, you clowns...
84
00:05:58,208 --> 00:05:59,791
Um... fools.
85
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,208
I'll relieve the babysitter.
86
00:06:02,499 --> 00:06:05,333
-What?
-I can relieve the babysitter.
87
00:06:05,541 --> 00:06:09,250
You can tell me later
where else you got kicked out of.
88
00:06:09,874 --> 00:06:13,041
Three is one too few... um... too many.
89
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:15,332
But...
90
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,958
But...
91
00:06:19,708 --> 00:06:21,416
I'll make it up to you.
92
00:06:21,666 --> 00:06:23,125
Please don't.
93
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:27,208
Don't take it too hard, dude.
94
00:06:27,416 --> 00:06:29,249
Sometimes I get the feeling...
95
00:06:30,249 --> 00:06:32,499
...that life is a sitcom?
96
00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:33,833
A sitcom?
97
00:06:37,207 --> 00:06:38,958
THE KANGAROO
98
00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:50,124
THREE IS ONE TOO FEW
99
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:53,165
UM... TOO MANY
100
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,833
"Anna Karenina."
101
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:01,833
Too pretentious.
102
00:07:01,998 --> 00:07:03,624
How about...
103
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,791
"The Magic Mountain."
104
00:07:15,082 --> 00:07:17,332
Lying in the hammock again?
105
00:07:17,624 --> 00:07:19,915
Nope. Not again. Still.
106
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:25,582
You haven't even
gotten out of your pajamas.
107
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:29,124
Have you noticed some people
seem to have a need
108
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:31,499
to put the obvious into words?
109
00:07:33,957 --> 00:07:37,499
Which is the better favorite book?
"In Search of Lost Time"?
110
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,499
Or "100 Years of Solitude"?
111
00:07:39,748 --> 00:07:41,708
Have you even read them?
112
00:07:45,082 --> 00:07:49,624
I... Well, I have them on my bookshelf.
That count?
113
00:07:51,082 --> 00:07:53,624
By the way,
I'm not talking to you anymore.
114
00:07:54,582 --> 00:07:56,957
I admit, I wasn't a big help yesterday,
115
00:07:57,124 --> 00:08:01,124
but I bought all the things you like.
116
00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:03,207
Organic eggplant-pomelo soda
117
00:08:03,499 --> 00:08:05,290
licorice wheels,
118
00:08:05,581 --> 00:08:08,915
chips with coriander,
and champagne truffles.
119
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,124
I don't like any of it.
120
00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:15,873
Not any of it?
121
00:08:17,332 --> 00:08:19,249
I hate coriander.
122
00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:26,290
No way she wants
to go out with me again.
123
00:08:28,456 --> 00:08:32,540
You have to show her
you'll lay it on the line for her.
124
00:08:32,707 --> 00:08:34,790
And I know how to do that.
125
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,873
Oh, yeah? How then?
126
00:08:37,540 --> 00:08:39,873
We pull her mom out of the rabbit hole.
127
00:08:56,957 --> 00:08:58,498
A bet?
128
00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:02,998
-What kind of a bet?
-If we straighten your mom out...
129
00:09:03,164 --> 00:09:07,832
-Get her to stop denying climate change.
-...we go out for dinner again.
130
00:09:08,998 --> 00:09:10,748
-Okay.
-In Paris.
131
00:09:10,873 --> 00:09:12,164
In Paris.
132
00:09:12,456 --> 00:09:14,707
-No kangaroo.
-Certainly not.
133
00:09:14,832 --> 00:09:17,039
-And you'll pay.
-That's not...
134
00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:19,039
-You don't have to...
-I'll pay.
135
00:09:19,832 --> 00:09:23,540
-Okay.
-And you give me your gaming console.
136
00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:27,581
-That's optional, of course.
-Do it, and you'll get the console too.
137
00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:28,832
But, Mom!
138
00:09:29,081 --> 00:09:32,915
Don't worry. Grandma's a tough cookie.
They're just wasting their time.
139
00:09:33,164 --> 00:09:35,956
-That wouldn't be new.
-No, it wouldn't.
140
00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:39,790
-And what if you lose?
-Then...
141
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:43,164
I'll pay for your dinner.
142
00:09:44,623 --> 00:09:46,956
Nice try, but it'll have to be more.
143
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:48,914
We don't have anything.
144
00:09:50,707 --> 00:09:53,956
You have a nice big apartment
with an old contract.
145
00:09:55,248 --> 00:09:56,581
You mean...
146
00:09:57,081 --> 00:09:59,665
If you lose, then we trade apartments.
147
00:09:59,831 --> 00:10:01,289
Never.
148
00:10:03,248 --> 00:10:05,581
-Agreed.
-Are you crazy? Ow!
149
00:10:06,747 --> 00:10:09,123
You said I have to lay it on the line.
150
00:10:10,997 --> 00:10:13,331
It's pretty cramped in here, huh?
151
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:17,664
We've got this.
152
00:10:20,831 --> 00:10:22,872
What have I done?
153
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,164
You've ruined our lives.
154
00:10:25,331 --> 00:10:27,289
That's what you've done.
155
00:10:27,498 --> 00:10:30,206
-She's cleaning.
-Pinch me.
156
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,206
Herta, expecting a special visitor?
157
00:10:33,497 --> 00:10:36,539
Haven't you heard? Joe is coming back.
158
00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:40,455
Joe who? Our Joe?
159
00:10:40,622 --> 00:10:43,497
-Mighty Joe, the Steppenwolf?
-Yes, he's out of prison.
160
00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:47,706
-Does Maria already know?
-No, it's a surprise.
161
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,831
Who in the hell is Joe?
162
00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:53,331
Maria's ex.
163
00:10:53,539 --> 00:10:58,289
Last I saw him, he carried my
washing machine up to the fourth floor.
164
00:10:58,497 --> 00:10:59,664
Alone.
165
00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:04,288
Hey, Maria.
166
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:06,580
Hey?
167
00:11:07,539 --> 00:11:10,455
My mother just invited me
to an event in Köpenick.
168
00:11:11,288 --> 00:11:13,330
It'd be a good chance to meet her.
169
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:14,914
THE CLIMATE CONSIPRACY
170
00:11:17,747 --> 00:11:18,747
Have fun.
171
00:11:20,497 --> 00:11:23,123
You're really going to go on bikes?
172
00:11:23,288 --> 00:11:25,330
I can lend you our van.
173
00:11:27,956 --> 00:11:32,205
No. We can hardly talk of protecting
the environment and drive up in that.
174
00:11:32,497 --> 00:11:34,414
-That's right.
-Well...
175
00:11:34,664 --> 00:11:37,038
my bike is broken, but...
176
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,956
I can lend you that.
177
00:11:40,831 --> 00:11:43,414
-It's Jesus' old trailer.
-I call it St. Peter.
178
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,163
-You pedal.
-No.
179
00:11:48,831 --> 00:11:54,455
We'll decide that in the manner
passed down to us from our ancestors.
180
00:11:56,122 --> 00:11:57,580
So be it.
181
00:11:59,038 --> 00:12:01,955
Hey, bro, five on the kangaroo.
182
00:12:11,247 --> 00:12:13,247
But no well.
183
00:12:13,455 --> 00:12:15,122
No well.
184
00:12:15,706 --> 00:12:17,913
Rock, paper,
185
00:12:18,163 --> 00:12:20,038
scissors.
186
00:12:23,414 --> 00:12:27,247
-He always does paper. Always paper!
-Why?
187
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,622
Because I always think
the kangaroo will go for the well.
188
00:12:31,414 --> 00:12:32,705
Yallah.
189
00:12:33,746 --> 00:12:35,871
It's not a game of chance.
190
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,455
Here you go.
191
00:12:46,996 --> 00:12:49,247
-You shit!
-Thanks!
192
00:12:49,455 --> 00:12:50,830
That was my ice cream!
193
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,247
Come on! Go! Faster!
194
00:12:57,538 --> 00:12:59,955
-Faster! Faster!
-Faster, you lazy dog!
195
00:13:00,205 --> 00:13:02,579
Faster! Faster! Go, faster!
196
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,247
Hey!
197
00:13:10,454 --> 00:13:12,163
Stop there!
198
00:13:13,247 --> 00:13:15,247
Stop!
199
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,038
-Have you ever met Maria's mom?
-Nope.
200
00:13:20,205 --> 00:13:23,329
How are we going to know
which of the crazies...
201
00:13:23,538 --> 00:13:24,830
Hey!
202
00:13:29,454 --> 00:13:31,038
An established artist.
203
00:13:32,413 --> 00:13:34,038
Hitler, or who?
204
00:13:34,955 --> 00:13:37,579
I'm not Hitler.
I'm the Captain of Köpenick.
205
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,204
Well, you look like Hitler.
206
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:42,663
You look like Hitler.
207
00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:48,705
Seriously, dude?
208
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,788
Any Reich citizens among you?
209
00:13:51,913 --> 00:13:54,454
Here,
you can take a picture with Hitler.
210
00:14:18,538 --> 00:14:20,079
Help! Help!
211
00:14:23,413 --> 00:14:24,705
Help!
212
00:14:25,454 --> 00:14:27,037
Come here!
213
00:14:35,538 --> 00:14:37,454
KÖPENICK CITIZENS' MEETING
214
00:14:37,621 --> 00:14:39,538
IMPENDING ECO-DICTATORSHIP?
215
00:14:39,705 --> 00:14:42,413
We shouldn't take
a confrontational approach.
216
00:14:42,579 --> 00:14:45,287
-Like you did just now?
-Or she'll shut down.
217
00:14:45,496 --> 00:14:48,745
-So we'll use the Socratic method?
-That's right.
218
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:51,413
Calmly and kindly questioning.
219
00:14:55,246 --> 00:14:56,787
All righty.
220
00:14:59,579 --> 00:15:04,745
Like me, many of you learned of
the climate conspiracy via Adam Krieger.
221
00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:08,204
-Krieger fights for the truth.
-Stay vigilant!
222
00:15:08,496 --> 00:15:11,079
He says the climate scare is a pretense
223
00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:13,787
to raise taxes and pass new laws.
224
00:15:13,995 --> 00:15:16,620
They want to tell us how to live.
225
00:15:16,787 --> 00:15:18,246
WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER LOOK LIKE?
226
00:15:18,537 --> 00:15:21,495
They want to deindustrialize Germany.
227
00:15:21,745 --> 00:15:23,787
That's right!
228
00:15:24,412 --> 00:15:26,162
-Did you get that?
-Bravo!
229
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:29,995
Yes?
230
00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:32,745
The desire to be unique,
a loss of control,
231
00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:34,287
or just boredom?
232
00:15:34,495 --> 00:15:36,287
-What was it for you?
-What do you mean?
233
00:15:36,578 --> 00:15:40,037
Why you fall for conspiracy theories.
234
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:43,787
The CIA invented
"conspiracy theory" as a battle cry
235
00:15:43,912 --> 00:15:47,037
to discredit people
who think differently.
236
00:15:48,829 --> 00:15:50,495
Oh, crapola.
237
00:15:50,745 --> 00:15:52,787
We don't want you here!
238
00:15:52,912 --> 00:15:56,704
-That's right!
-We don't want your eco-fascism!
239
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,121
You're the friends of fascism.
240
00:15:59,286 --> 00:16:01,787
-Calmly and kindly questioning?
-Back off.
241
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:05,328
Not even scientists agree
climate change exists.
242
00:16:05,537 --> 00:16:08,203
Hogwash!
That's just conspiracy bullshit.
243
00:16:08,495 --> 00:16:11,745
A study analyzed
more than 50,000 scientific articles
244
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:16,078
and 99.94 percent say humans
are the main drivers of climate change.
245
00:16:16,328 --> 00:16:18,495
My experience says otherwise.
246
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,578
What? Your perceived reality?
247
00:16:20,829 --> 00:16:23,120
-Get lost, you sheeple!
-Baa!
248
00:16:23,704 --> 00:16:24,912
Baa to you!
249
00:16:25,161 --> 00:16:28,412
Do you work for fake news?
Or are you paid rabble-rousers?
250
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,620
My dear Ms. Schlabotnik,
251
00:16:31,787 --> 00:16:34,120
I get what you mean, kind of.
252
00:16:34,412 --> 00:16:37,829
Conspiracies are fascinating.
I used to watch "The X-Files."
253
00:16:38,829 --> 00:16:42,453
But why do you absolutely have
to think one up?
254
00:16:42,704 --> 00:16:44,286
There are enough real conspiracies.
255
00:16:44,495 --> 00:16:48,286
Watergate, Prism, LIBOR, Panama Papers,
Dieselgate, FIFA!
256
00:16:48,495 --> 00:16:53,203
Back in 1982, Exxon Mobile had a study
into climate change conducted
257
00:16:53,495 --> 00:16:58,245
and, sadly, it concluded
that CO2 heats up the Earth.
258
00:16:58,453 --> 00:17:01,120
-Tough break.
-But they did nothing.
259
00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:04,286
Except start
a huge disinformation campaign.
260
00:17:04,495 --> 00:17:07,453
You're the ones
who've fallen prey to a conspiracy.
261
00:17:07,620 --> 00:17:11,786
You are actually
the brainwashed sheeple.
262
00:17:13,786 --> 00:17:15,869
Get lost, you clowns!
263
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,828
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
264
00:17:19,036 --> 00:17:22,412
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
265
00:17:22,661 --> 00:17:24,661
The lady with the eggs.
266
00:17:40,911 --> 00:17:42,286
Yes?
267
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:45,661
You failed to mention
your mom was the one speaking.
268
00:17:46,452 --> 00:17:48,245
Oops! Sorry.
269
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,828
Go ring.
270
00:17:52,577 --> 00:17:55,494
Yes, she even has
her own YouTube channel.
271
00:17:55,661 --> 00:17:57,661
I'm Lisbeth Schlabotnik...
272
00:17:57,828 --> 00:18:00,619
The movers are here! I've got to run.
273
00:18:02,245 --> 00:18:07,285
Did you know that 55 million years ago
the Earth experienced a hot phase?
274
00:18:07,494 --> 00:18:11,786
Now try and tell me my diesel
is responsible for that too.
275
00:18:15,619 --> 00:18:19,661
-Come on, let's go home.
-You crazy? If we go, we won't have one.
276
00:18:20,828 --> 00:18:22,828
That woman's a hopeless case.
277
00:18:23,078 --> 00:18:26,119
Rock Paper Scissors?
If I win, we wait for her.
278
00:18:26,285 --> 00:18:30,078
-If you win then...
-...we sleep in a bunk bed from now on.
279
00:18:30,327 --> 00:18:34,327
-Or you get on your knees and beg Maria.
-Forget it. Never.
280
00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:37,036
Let's rock it.
281
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:41,452
I thought up new rules.
282
00:18:41,994 --> 00:18:43,202
What?
283
00:18:43,494 --> 00:18:46,577
Pick whatever sign we want
and then discuss who won.
284
00:18:46,828 --> 00:18:49,244
-Sounds totally idiotic.
-You in?
285
00:18:50,244 --> 00:18:51,536
Of course.
286
00:18:51,786 --> 00:18:53,952
I call it Rock Paper Whatever.
287
00:18:55,828 --> 00:18:57,494
Rock Paper Whatever.
288
00:18:57,661 --> 00:19:02,828
Sounds like a music magazine
that doesn't give a shit.
289
00:19:03,952 --> 00:19:06,285
Maybe Rock Paper Wizzard?
290
00:19:06,952 --> 00:19:11,577
Sounds like "Pen & Paper"
from Stranger Things.
291
00:19:12,993 --> 00:19:14,661
Rock Paper Blizzard?
292
00:19:15,703 --> 00:19:16,952
Better.
293
00:19:26,743 --> 00:19:28,536
Rock,
294
00:19:28,785 --> 00:19:30,494
paper,
295
00:19:30,743 --> 00:19:32,619
blizzard!
296
00:19:40,702 --> 00:19:43,244
-What's that supposed to be?
-Chainsaw. Yours?
297
00:19:43,827 --> 00:19:45,494
I, um...
298
00:19:46,702 --> 00:19:48,702
A giraffe.
299
00:19:48,827 --> 00:19:51,077
A giraffe versus a chainsaw?
300
00:19:51,244 --> 00:19:53,868
We don't even have to discuss, do we?
301
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:55,993
No.
302
00:19:58,493 --> 00:20:03,535
If I many ask, what did you expect
to beat with a giraffe?
303
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,910
A leaf that grows high up.
304
00:20:06,077 --> 00:20:09,202
Why in the hell would I do a leaf
that grows high up?
305
00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:10,910
What would that have beat?
306
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:15,993
Um... an animal without a long neck.
I was under major time pressure.
307
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,702
Granted,
a giraffe wasn't the best option.
308
00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:23,493
-We got really great footage.
-We can send it to you for YouTube.
309
00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:26,993
-We're really big fans of Diesel Liesel.
-I'm glad.
310
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,576
Come on, this way. Shortcut.
311
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,576
Would you give us an autograph?
312
00:20:31,743 --> 00:20:33,326
Of course.
313
00:20:33,535 --> 00:20:34,993
May I?
314
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:38,827
Tina and I, we met on
315
00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:41,284
lovetruth.info.
316
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:48,576
Every 23 minutes a contrarian
falls in love on lovetruth.info.
317
00:20:48,743 --> 00:20:51,993
Create a profile
and click everything you believe in.
318
00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:54,284
AREA 51, CHEMTRAILS, REPTILIANS...
319
00:20:54,576 --> 00:20:56,702
Only the two of us
clicked every conspiracy.
320
00:20:58,284 --> 00:20:59,410
Chemtrails!
321
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,827
You are not alone.
322
00:21:03,076 --> 00:21:05,660
Find someone
who loves the truth as much as you.
323
00:21:07,618 --> 00:21:09,992
I met my Eva here too.
324
00:21:10,827 --> 00:21:14,827
I'm Adam Krieger
and I recommend lovetruth.info.
325
00:21:14,992 --> 00:21:17,284
Don't let them shut you up.
326
00:21:17,493 --> 00:21:19,034
Stay vigilant.
327
00:21:19,201 --> 00:21:21,118
What do you think of chemtrails?
328
00:21:21,992 --> 00:21:23,284
What?
329
00:21:23,493 --> 00:21:26,660
The "condensed vapor trails"
behind planes
330
00:21:26,826 --> 00:21:28,618
that are actually harmful chemicals.
331
00:21:28,785 --> 00:21:32,201
-Never heard of them.
-They reduce the fertility of Germans.
332
00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:34,951
And/or contaminate soil
with aluminum compounds.
333
00:21:35,118 --> 00:21:39,451
-They're for population control.
-And/or thought control via nanobots.
334
00:21:39,618 --> 00:21:42,493
Those who believe
in nanobot mind control
335
00:21:42,742 --> 00:21:44,909
should probably see it as a chance.
336
00:21:45,660 --> 00:21:48,576
-What do you clowns want now?
-Piss off.
337
00:21:49,159 --> 00:21:52,742
Around the corner there,
I saw Adam Krieger.
338
00:21:52,867 --> 00:21:54,576
Yes, I think it was him.
339
00:21:54,826 --> 00:21:57,535
He just found the entrance
to the Hollow Earth.
340
00:21:57,784 --> 00:21:58,826
What?
341
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,992
See you at the CoCon,
and/or someplace else.
342
00:22:04,659 --> 00:22:08,534
Ms. Schlabotnik, we had a rough start.
Can we start over?
343
00:22:08,784 --> 00:22:10,534
No.
344
00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:12,493
We're friends of Maria's.
345
00:22:14,617 --> 00:22:17,159
-Are you her new fella?
-I... Well...
346
00:22:18,909 --> 00:22:19,992
Sad.
347
00:22:20,826 --> 00:22:23,076
Oh well,
no one can hold a candle to Joe.
348
00:22:24,617 --> 00:22:26,742
What if we invited you to eat?
349
00:22:27,784 --> 00:22:29,992
And as a peace offering:
350
00:22:30,159 --> 00:22:32,409
the categorical aperitif.
351
00:22:33,951 --> 00:22:35,742
Chop-chop, let it drop!
352
00:22:40,701 --> 00:22:42,201
CATEGORICAL APERITIF
353
00:22:42,409 --> 00:22:44,784
I'll have 13 and 72, please.
354
00:22:44,992 --> 00:22:47,243
-You didn't even look.
-I pick at random.
355
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,201
-Keeps life exciting.
-I'll have the same.
356
00:22:50,492 --> 00:22:52,409
And I'll take...
357
00:22:52,659 --> 00:22:55,534
12 and 61, but without Koreans...
358
00:22:55,701 --> 00:22:57,826
I mean coriander.
359
00:22:58,742 --> 00:23:00,617
Nothing here is Korean.
360
00:23:00,826 --> 00:23:03,283
-Coriander, please.
-We're Chinese.
361
00:23:04,450 --> 00:23:06,200
Oh, God. How embarrassing.
362
00:23:06,409 --> 00:23:08,617
A very interesting Freudian slip.
363
00:23:08,826 --> 00:23:10,659
-Oh, yeah?
-Yes.
364
00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:13,492
You Germans want
the perks of multiculturalism,
365
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:17,492
the services immigrants provide,
but not the immigrants.
366
00:23:17,659 --> 00:23:20,450
You actually do want 61 without Koreans.
367
00:23:20,701 --> 00:23:24,991
-Don't exaggerate.
-"The deindustrialization of Germany"?
368
00:23:25,242 --> 00:23:26,492
-Really?
-You'll see.
369
00:23:26,742 --> 00:23:28,742
Why doesn't the press report on that?
370
00:23:28,951 --> 00:23:32,242
-All bought up.
-And us, or Maria? Were we bought up?
371
00:23:32,450 --> 00:23:34,826
You eat up
what the lying press feeds you.
372
00:23:35,033 --> 00:23:38,991
You reject every argument
that doesn't suit you.
373
00:23:39,158 --> 00:23:40,701
Everyone does that.
374
00:23:40,826 --> 00:23:43,075
I'm a conspirator
if I disagree with you?
375
00:23:43,325 --> 00:23:44,784
Or a puppet.
376
00:23:44,991 --> 00:23:47,866
You're puppets
who've stopped questioning things.
377
00:23:48,033 --> 00:23:50,033
You believe what "Time" writes.
378
00:23:50,283 --> 00:23:52,825
And you believe your Facebook timeline.
379
00:23:54,908 --> 00:23:57,033
The way you defend
your climate lie claims
380
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,825
can be used to defend any old rot.
381
00:23:59,283 --> 00:24:02,492
-With exactly the same phrases.
-Not true.
382
00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:05,117
Okay, think of a totally crazy theory
383
00:24:05,409 --> 00:24:08,450
that's so out there
not even you believe it.
384
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,741
All right.
385
00:24:13,617 --> 00:24:15,658
Earth is a cube.
386
00:24:16,950 --> 00:24:20,200
-A cube-Earth theory.
-Fine.
387
00:24:20,409 --> 00:24:22,409
The Earth is obviously cubed.
388
00:24:22,574 --> 00:24:24,991
Why else do all maps have four corners?
389
00:24:25,158 --> 00:24:27,866
-Why isn't that in the press?
-All bought up.
390
00:24:28,117 --> 00:24:29,658
Am I bought up too?
391
00:24:29,866 --> 00:24:32,866
You eat up
what the lying press feeds you.
392
00:24:33,117 --> 00:24:38,450
How else do you explain big waterfalls?
They're all on the Earth's edges.
393
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:40,741
Why does it look round from space?
394
00:24:40,950 --> 00:24:42,700
Because...
395
00:24:42,825 --> 00:24:47,283
the CIA forces
every single astronaut to use
396
00:24:47,574 --> 00:24:49,408
a special wide-angle lens.
397
00:24:49,574 --> 00:24:53,033
Hundreds of thousands of people
vanish every year. Where to?
398
00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:56,200
They get "offed."
399
00:24:56,491 --> 00:24:59,117
-Will I fall off if I walk over an edge?
-Not quite.
400
00:24:59,283 --> 00:25:03,741
They're usually slightly rounded,
so they're not that easy to see.
401
00:25:03,866 --> 00:25:09,158
But 99.94 percent of scientific journals
say the world is round.
402
00:25:09,324 --> 00:25:11,533
My experience says otherwise.
403
00:25:11,783 --> 00:25:15,908
See? Does that type
of "argumentation" sound familiar?
404
00:25:16,158 --> 00:25:19,574
My sports teacher would've said,
"You catch that?"
405
00:25:21,157 --> 00:25:23,908
I'm not going to be screwed with
like this.
406
00:25:28,241 --> 00:25:29,783
Wackos.
407
00:25:30,449 --> 00:25:32,658
There goes my gaming console.
408
00:25:38,116 --> 00:25:41,116
Did you hear that? Earth is a cube.
409
00:25:41,282 --> 00:25:42,408
Yeah.
410
00:25:42,574 --> 00:25:44,866
And I thought it was flat.
411
00:25:56,491 --> 00:25:59,282
We'd like to take the bike on the bus.
412
00:26:00,157 --> 00:26:02,032
How do imagine that working?
413
00:26:02,282 --> 00:26:05,032
Well, I'd just carry it
through the door.
414
00:26:07,824 --> 00:26:09,783
-This is a bus.
-True.
415
00:26:09,907 --> 00:26:14,491
-Right.
-But it is a rail replacement service.
416
00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:17,658
Therefore, this is not a bus,
it's a city train.
417
00:26:19,616 --> 00:26:23,157
Are you shitting me?
Of course, this is a bus.
418
00:26:23,449 --> 00:26:26,449
No one is going to tell me
this isn't a bus.
419
00:26:26,699 --> 00:26:28,658
It's a bus all right.
420
00:26:28,865 --> 00:26:30,990
I've driven bus my entire life.
421
00:26:31,241 --> 00:26:33,782
I can tell a bus when I see one.
422
00:26:34,241 --> 00:26:37,740
And I can take my bike with me
on a city train.
423
00:26:41,949 --> 00:26:43,782
But not in the first car.
424
00:26:45,199 --> 00:26:48,449
All right, then I'll just ride it.
425
00:26:58,740 --> 00:27:01,782
-Hold this a sec.
-Now chop-chop!
426
00:27:07,782 --> 00:27:11,699
The other passengers don't have
time to waste either.
427
00:27:16,074 --> 00:27:19,241
No one's going to tell me
this isn't a bus!
428
00:27:19,865 --> 00:27:21,740
It's a bus all right!
429
00:27:21,949 --> 00:27:25,199
I can tell what's a bus and what's not.
430
00:27:28,241 --> 00:27:30,199
Hey, what the hell, man?
431
00:27:31,824 --> 00:27:34,615
He doesn't quite understand his job.
432
00:27:34,782 --> 00:27:36,782
We can make him stop.
433
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,615
Someone better get off here.
434
00:27:53,073 --> 00:27:54,824
Who was that?
435
00:27:57,907 --> 00:28:00,865
Either one of you gets out
or both of you do.
436
00:28:04,490 --> 00:28:07,949
-Rock Paper Blizzard?
- Do I have to come back there?
437
00:28:09,740 --> 00:28:12,156
-Rock...
-I was going to call the fire service.
438
00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:16,323
But then Joe clambered up the tree
and saved the cat.
439
00:28:16,615 --> 00:28:19,281
Then there's the story with the pig.
440
00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:21,240
Joe took a pig to work,
441
00:28:21,448 --> 00:28:23,906
and his boss goes,
"What's the pig doing here?"
442
00:28:24,073 --> 00:28:27,864
Joe says, "How should I know
why you came in today?"
443
00:28:28,906 --> 00:28:32,699
-Unbelievable he was in prison so long.
-Talking about Joe again?
444
00:28:32,823 --> 00:28:34,490
Still.
445
00:28:34,657 --> 00:28:36,699
Oh, if I were a bit younger...
446
00:28:50,281 --> 00:28:51,698
Joe.
447
00:28:51,906 --> 00:28:54,031
People, nice to see you!
448
00:28:54,281 --> 00:28:56,323
Come closer, settle in
449
00:28:56,614 --> 00:28:58,864
Hands on your head, and then spin
450
00:28:59,031 --> 00:29:00,906
Unscrew and remove your brain
451
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,614
Get crazy, people, champagne and treats
452
00:29:03,781 --> 00:29:07,823
Let's outwit logic to the beat
Throw confetti and walk on tables
453
00:29:08,073 --> 00:29:10,073
And eat our brains with fishes
454
00:29:10,323 --> 00:29:13,073
I mean, logic is sick overrated
455
00:29:13,323 --> 00:29:16,614
-I say, "One plus one plus one is six!"
-That's wrong!
456
00:29:17,281 --> 00:29:19,698
They finally let you out, you rascal!
457
00:29:25,156 --> 00:29:26,156
Well?
458
00:29:27,447 --> 00:29:30,948
Why you slimy,
double-crossing, no-good swindler.
459
00:29:33,323 --> 00:29:35,823
You've got a lot of guts coming here
460
00:29:35,989 --> 00:29:38,656
after all the crap you pulled.
461
00:30:06,031 --> 00:30:08,322
Listen up, next round's on me!
462
00:30:08,531 --> 00:30:11,739
Breathe in, breathe out
Tonight we let it all hang out
463
00:30:11,948 --> 00:30:14,197
Tonight we're storming your front lots
464
00:30:14,406 --> 00:30:16,572
Gonna dig'em up
With diggers and what-not
465
00:30:59,155 --> 00:31:01,905
...you have shrimp in your beard.
And Joe said...
466
00:31:02,072 --> 00:31:06,738
-You've got jellyfish on your pants.
-"You've got jellyfish on your pants!"
467
00:31:07,947 --> 00:31:09,822
-To Joe!
-Cheers.
468
00:31:09,947 --> 00:31:12,988
-You're a swell guy.
-Yeah, a real swell guy.
469
00:31:13,155 --> 00:31:16,905
Gets arrested and leaves
his wife and kid in the lurch.
470
00:31:22,406 --> 00:31:23,571
What?
471
00:31:23,822 --> 00:31:26,239
He was in prison
for fighting for human rights.
472
00:31:26,531 --> 00:31:29,197
Are you attacking him
for working for Amnesty?
473
00:31:29,406 --> 00:31:33,905
He tried to help North Korean dissidents
across the demilitarized zone.
474
00:31:34,780 --> 00:31:36,114
Of course.
475
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,822
North Korea.
476
00:31:38,322 --> 00:31:41,322
And I drilled wells in Africa.
477
00:31:43,571 --> 00:31:48,446
Were you as tall as you are stupid, you
could drink out of the eaves kneeling.
478
00:31:51,780 --> 00:31:52,905
You...
479
00:31:53,072 --> 00:31:54,905
really were in North Korea?
480
00:31:55,155 --> 00:31:56,613
Bling.
481
00:32:24,905 --> 00:32:26,488
Go.
482
00:32:26,655 --> 00:32:27,988
You're free.
483
00:32:38,905 --> 00:32:41,822
It's all right. You couldn't have known.
484
00:32:43,530 --> 00:32:45,697
Know what they say in Korea?
485
00:32:45,822 --> 00:32:49,029
Even monkeys fall from trees.
486
00:32:52,655 --> 00:32:54,154
Here, look.
487
00:32:57,113 --> 00:32:58,904
I carved this in prison.
488
00:32:59,571 --> 00:33:01,446
From a wooden spoon.
489
00:33:01,613 --> 00:33:03,029
For Maria?
490
00:33:03,196 --> 00:33:06,488
Thinking of her was what kept me alive.
491
00:33:06,655 --> 00:33:09,029
But I don't want to overwhelm her.
492
00:33:09,196 --> 00:33:11,697
No... I wouldn't do that either.
493
00:33:11,821 --> 00:33:16,405
She didn't want me to go to Pyongyang.
She might still be mad at me.
494
00:33:16,571 --> 00:33:19,071
She's very mad, extremely mad.
495
00:33:19,238 --> 00:33:21,821
-Maybe I should give it more time.
-Much more.
496
00:33:21,987 --> 00:33:24,446
I don't want it to be slapdash.
497
00:33:24,613 --> 00:33:27,821
-Whatever that means.
-That's how you end up with kids.
498
00:33:29,196 --> 00:33:31,321
I'll ask her on her birthday.
499
00:33:33,946 --> 00:33:35,779
WESTERNERS
500
00:33:35,904 --> 00:33:37,530
EASTERNERS
501
00:33:39,113 --> 00:33:41,405
-Watch where you...
-Time's running out.
502
00:33:41,571 --> 00:33:44,737
-What? Time?
-Is our bet still on?
503
00:33:44,946 --> 00:33:47,612
Yes, I've got the moving boxes ready.
504
00:33:47,821 --> 00:33:49,529
We're Liesel's best friends.
505
00:33:49,696 --> 00:33:53,570
-Easy. She has no others.
-We visit her in Backwood tomorrow.
506
00:33:53,737 --> 00:33:55,821
Hey, I've got to get back to the hotel.
507
00:33:55,987 --> 00:33:58,196
I've got to call Greta.
508
00:33:58,405 --> 00:34:01,071
Why to the hotel?
Joe can sleep at our place.
509
00:34:01,321 --> 00:34:05,487
But where?
I mean, in the hall we can maybe just...
510
00:34:06,196 --> 00:34:09,279
Oh, no. I don't want
to impose on anyone.
511
00:34:10,821 --> 00:34:15,154
-Joe can sleep at our place.
-Yes! Our place can sleep at Joe's.
512
00:34:15,821 --> 00:34:17,321
No harm done.
513
00:34:20,654 --> 00:34:22,946
The little nose goes
on the pancake face.
514
00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,529
Put some powdered sugar on it...
515
00:34:29,821 --> 00:34:31,987
Howdy, doody, partner!
516
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:33,987
Good morning.
517
00:34:34,237 --> 00:34:38,278
I woke up early and so I decided
to clean the kitchen.
518
00:34:38,487 --> 00:34:41,737
Made some breakfast too.
Hope I didn't wake you.
519
00:34:44,821 --> 00:34:47,487
Do you need anything?
Got everything you need?
520
00:34:55,445 --> 00:34:56,654
Fuck.
521
00:35:03,821 --> 00:35:05,278
Ah, there we go.
522
00:35:08,737 --> 00:35:10,737
Dig in and enjoy.
523
00:35:12,945 --> 00:35:15,779
I'm going to the hardware store.
Need anything?
524
00:35:15,986 --> 00:35:17,986
-Never from the hardware store.
-Okay.
525
00:35:18,237 --> 00:35:20,195
A pool table.
526
00:35:20,404 --> 00:35:21,654
Cool. Bye.
527
00:35:21,862 --> 00:35:23,570
Bye. Bye.
528
00:35:32,195 --> 00:35:33,820
Off to Backwood.
529
00:35:35,612 --> 00:35:40,028
Dear passengers,
for reasons not entirely clear to me
530
00:35:40,195 --> 00:35:44,570
the train for platform 21
is arriving at platform 22
531
00:35:44,736 --> 00:35:46,445
and vice versa.
532
00:35:50,278 --> 00:35:52,028
I was just joking.
533
00:35:52,695 --> 00:35:55,278
-He's a real jokester.
- Seriously!
534
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:59,903
Due to a personal injury,
today is topsy-turvy day
535
00:36:00,070 --> 00:36:02,986
so just get on a train
and see where you end up.
536
00:36:03,153 --> 00:36:05,820
What's going on here? Terrorist attack?
537
00:36:06,070 --> 00:36:08,404
What is your major malfunction?
538
00:36:08,569 --> 00:36:11,861
Stand at attention
when an... officer is present.
539
00:36:12,778 --> 00:36:14,404
Yes, sir.
540
00:36:15,611 --> 00:36:17,028
Yes...
541
00:36:17,278 --> 00:36:18,528
sir...
542
00:36:19,611 --> 00:36:20,820
Captain.
543
00:36:21,404 --> 00:36:23,695
-Yes, sir, Captain.
-Name?
544
00:36:23,903 --> 00:36:24,903
Krapotke.
545
00:36:26,195 --> 00:36:28,528
"Krapotke, Captain."
546
00:36:28,778 --> 00:36:29,903
Krapotke, Captain.
547
00:36:30,736 --> 00:36:32,112
What is it, Krapotke?
548
00:36:32,653 --> 00:36:36,653
-Terrorist attack, Captain?
-Speak in complete sentences!
549
00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:39,112
"Terrorist attack." How about a verb?
550
00:36:42,403 --> 00:36:44,820
Was here a terrorist attack, Captain?
551
00:36:46,319 --> 00:36:48,195
Was, Krapotke.
552
00:36:48,403 --> 00:36:49,861
Yes, was.
553
00:36:50,028 --> 00:36:53,611
It was a so-called "suicide bomber,"
554
00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:55,945
someone who blew my nerves to bits.
555
00:36:56,112 --> 00:36:58,277
These world-weary types, Krapotke.
556
00:36:58,486 --> 00:37:00,569
They could jump
off the Reichstag screaming,
557
00:37:00,736 --> 00:37:03,486
"The system is rotten!"
But no.
558
00:37:03,736 --> 00:37:05,820
-It must be a train.
-Wrong, Krapotke.
559
00:37:06,028 --> 00:37:08,611
Not a train, my train.
560
00:37:08,778 --> 00:37:10,986
Where is it you're going, Krapotke?
561
00:37:11,236 --> 00:37:13,444
-A conference.
-Complete sentences!
562
00:37:13,611 --> 00:37:16,236
-I'm going to a conference!
-What conference?
563
00:37:16,820 --> 00:37:20,069
In Wannsee, Captain,
on the future of the army.
564
00:37:20,236 --> 00:37:23,820
Holding a military conference
in Wannsee is insensitive,
565
00:37:23,986 --> 00:37:25,903
don't you agree, Krapotke?
566
00:37:29,985 --> 00:37:31,820
Because of the tourists?
567
00:37:36,152 --> 00:37:37,778
Forgetting history.
568
00:37:37,985 --> 00:37:39,902
But if we hadn't forgotten history
569
00:37:40,152 --> 00:37:44,069
who of us would still be wearing
a uniform today, Krapotke?
570
00:37:44,778 --> 00:37:49,069
I thought the captain was traveling
to the conference too.
571
00:37:49,319 --> 00:37:51,444
You, Krapotke, aren't to think.
572
00:37:51,611 --> 00:37:56,069
Come along instead. The conference
has been moved to Backwood.
573
00:37:56,236 --> 00:37:58,777
-Backwood? But...
-Get in!
574
00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,777
Yes, Captain!
575
00:38:02,236 --> 00:38:06,277
-What's the point of this?
-I've got a feeling he could be useful.
576
00:38:06,486 --> 00:38:09,944
-A feeling? From where?
-I read the script.
577
00:38:10,111 --> 00:38:12,403
TRUTH, FACTS, STAY VIGILANT
578
00:38:16,319 --> 00:38:19,528
You know "human-induced" global warming
579
00:38:19,777 --> 00:38:21,486
is a huge con.
580
00:38:21,652 --> 00:38:24,819
Lisbeth Schlabotnik tells it straight.
Listen.
581
00:38:24,985 --> 00:38:27,944
There was a hot period
in the Paleocene too.
582
00:38:28,111 --> 00:38:32,403
Now try and tell me my diesel
is responsible for that too.
583
00:38:32,652 --> 00:38:34,777
But they don't want us to hear that.
584
00:38:34,985 --> 00:38:40,111
Only yesterday one of Lisbeth's events
was interrupted by paid rabble-rousers.
585
00:38:40,403 --> 00:38:44,236
Luckily reporters from
"White Russian Today" filmed everything.
586
00:38:44,527 --> 00:38:47,027
Not even scientists agree
climate change exists.
587
00:38:47,194 --> 00:38:49,319
That's just conspiracy bullshit.
588
00:38:49,610 --> 00:38:53,194
That's the level at which
our opponents argue.
589
00:38:53,402 --> 00:38:57,819
But could it
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
590
00:38:57,944 --> 00:39:01,402
be that this kangaroo is paid
to say such things?
591
00:39:02,027 --> 00:39:04,069
Who's stuffing dollars in his pouch?
592
00:39:04,236 --> 00:39:06,860
Merkel? Soros? Gore? Gates?
593
00:39:07,111 --> 00:39:09,402
Contact me if you have leads.
594
00:39:10,069 --> 00:39:12,194
We'll get to the bottom of it by CoCon.
595
00:39:12,402 --> 00:39:17,694
Apropos, the Conspiracy Convention is
the world's largest annual convention
596
00:39:17,819 --> 00:39:20,610
for contrarians and soldiers of truth.
597
00:39:20,819 --> 00:39:24,318
And this year,
CoCon is taking place in Bielefeld.
598
00:39:24,819 --> 00:39:28,276
That caused some rifts within the scene.
599
00:39:29,485 --> 00:39:31,944
Even Krieger's lying. CoCon is fake.
600
00:39:32,110 --> 00:39:38,068
What is Bielefeld if not a city built
to keep secret that it doesn't exist?
601
00:39:38,235 --> 00:39:40,694
What is it actually about? Zombies!
602
00:39:40,819 --> 00:39:41,819
Zombies.
603
00:39:43,985 --> 00:39:48,485
The Bielefeld conspiracy is a hoax.
Don't fall for such nonsense.
604
00:39:48,735 --> 00:39:51,151
You can get CoCon tickets on my webshop.
605
00:39:51,318 --> 00:39:54,527
See you at CoCon. Stay vigilant.
606
00:39:54,694 --> 00:39:56,568
Every industry has a fair.
607
00:39:56,735 --> 00:39:58,901
Yeah, even bullshit manufacturing.
608
00:39:59,068 --> 00:40:00,819
Nuts, Captain?
609
00:40:03,777 --> 00:40:06,318
And where's the coffee, Krapotke?
610
00:40:06,527 --> 00:40:08,068
Yes, coffee.
611
00:40:09,694 --> 00:40:12,943
-Adam Krieger. That's not a real name.
-No.
612
00:40:13,943 --> 00:40:16,984
Did you know his real name's S. Martazz?
613
00:40:17,151 --> 00:40:19,235
-Really?
-You didn't know?
614
00:40:19,527 --> 00:40:23,026
He was left-wing. He used to write
for "Workers' Struggle."
615
00:40:23,276 --> 00:40:26,652
Then he jumped
into the rabbit hole headfirst.
616
00:40:43,276 --> 00:40:45,651
Silver Lake! Silver Lake!
617
00:40:45,818 --> 00:40:49,110
Passengers to Backwood, change here.
618
00:40:55,901 --> 00:40:57,734
Please stand clear.
619
00:41:07,526 --> 00:41:08,818
Excuse me.
620
00:41:10,442 --> 00:41:12,609
I don't work here anymore.
621
00:41:13,818 --> 00:41:17,818
Might you still know when
the next train to Backwood is coming?
622
00:41:18,068 --> 00:41:19,734
Stop that!
623
00:41:21,068 --> 00:41:23,442
To Backwood?
624
00:41:25,693 --> 00:41:28,567
Trains haven't gone there
in a long time.
625
00:41:28,734 --> 00:41:32,442
That line wasn't economically viable.
You understand.
626
00:41:33,110 --> 00:41:35,734
But go over to platform two.
627
00:41:36,567 --> 00:41:40,317
If you're lucky,
the draisine is available.
628
00:41:53,651 --> 00:41:56,567
VEHICLE PROVIDED BY
SOUTHEAST BRANDENBURG STRUCTURAL FUND
629
00:41:59,651 --> 00:42:01,609
He wasn't joking.
630
00:42:02,109 --> 00:42:04,442
Yeah, then get going Krapotke.
631
00:42:05,567 --> 00:42:06,567
Yes, Captain.
632
00:42:42,109 --> 00:42:45,567
Now you're happy
we brought him along, eh?
633
00:42:45,733 --> 00:42:47,192
Faster, Krapotke!
634
00:42:47,401 --> 00:42:48,858
Yes, Captain!
635
00:43:03,192 --> 00:43:05,442
Krapotke! Krapotke!
636
00:43:05,942 --> 00:43:08,900
-Stop pumping!
-No! Keep going, Krapotke!
637
00:43:09,067 --> 00:43:12,025
-It'll all be fine!
-Yes, Captain.
638
00:43:21,733 --> 00:43:23,234
Krapotke!
639
00:43:46,650 --> 00:43:48,400
Everything okay?
640
00:43:48,566 --> 00:43:53,274
The question alone gets my dander up.
Obviously, nothing is okay.
641
00:43:53,983 --> 00:43:56,900
-Did you have a nightmare?
-You bet I did.
642
00:43:57,067 --> 00:43:59,983
It probably swallowed up
half our budget.
643
00:44:07,566 --> 00:44:09,274
BACKWOOD
644
00:44:12,025 --> 00:44:13,692
Well done, Krapotke.
645
00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:15,441
Thanks, Captain.
646
00:44:15,608 --> 00:44:19,191
-What do we do now?
-You're going to do a few pushups.
647
00:44:21,108 --> 00:44:24,233
-How many, Captain?
-Until I say it's enough.
648
00:44:24,525 --> 00:44:26,191
Yes, Captain.
649
00:44:29,108 --> 00:44:30,608
One,
650
00:44:30,775 --> 00:44:32,108
two,
651
00:44:32,274 --> 00:44:34,108
three, five...
652
00:44:37,858 --> 00:44:39,024
Look.
653
00:44:44,733 --> 00:44:46,650
Ms. Schlabotnik?
654
00:44:47,483 --> 00:44:49,066
Liesel!
655
00:44:50,441 --> 00:44:52,108
You guys again!
656
00:44:52,274 --> 00:44:53,692
Yes, uh...
657
00:44:53,899 --> 00:44:55,733
Ms. Schlabotnik,
658
00:44:55,857 --> 00:44:58,774
I'll make you an offer
that you can accept,
659
00:44:58,899 --> 00:45:00,525
or not.
660
00:45:01,566 --> 00:45:03,149
We talk again,
661
00:45:04,274 --> 00:45:07,400
and if you can convince us
of your theory,
662
00:45:07,650 --> 00:45:09,774
then we'll convince Maria.
663
00:45:09,899 --> 00:45:12,982
-Deal?
-Well, I don't have much time.
664
00:45:14,191 --> 00:45:18,857
I'm already on my way to CoCon.
I'm speaking just before Adam Krieger.
665
00:45:19,024 --> 00:45:20,274
Oh, yeah?
666
00:45:20,483 --> 00:45:22,649
Yes. It wasn't cheap.
667
00:45:25,316 --> 00:45:26,941
Then in you get.
668
00:45:27,191 --> 00:45:29,899
DIESEL LIESEL'S DRIVING SCHOOL
669
00:45:36,691 --> 00:45:38,899
WITH LOVE, YOUR JOE
670
00:46:03,816 --> 00:46:08,024
From Joe's abstract phase.
I've had plenty of offers for it.
671
00:46:09,982 --> 00:46:11,066
Why not?
672
00:46:12,024 --> 00:46:15,607
Right, so what's your issue
with climate protection?
673
00:46:16,482 --> 00:46:18,941
Even if in 50 years we were to realize
674
00:46:19,108 --> 00:46:24,774
that every scientist royally screwed up
and global warming doesn't exist,
675
00:46:24,899 --> 00:46:26,524
then what?
676
00:46:26,691 --> 00:46:30,732
For no reason at all, we'd have ensured
our cities have clean air,
677
00:46:30,857 --> 00:46:34,273
rivers aren't toxic,
cars are quiet and don't stink,
678
00:46:34,565 --> 00:46:37,982
and we no longer depend on dictators
and their oil reserves.
679
00:46:38,148 --> 00:46:40,148
That would suck.
680
00:46:40,774 --> 00:46:42,440
What are you afraid of?
681
00:46:42,691 --> 00:46:45,023
Not the deindustrialization of Germany.
682
00:46:45,732 --> 00:46:48,691
-Who'd want that?
-That's the question.
683
00:46:48,899 --> 00:46:53,190
It's the question Caesar asked.
Cui bono ? Who profits?
684
00:46:53,482 --> 00:46:56,565
I don't think that came from Caesar.
685
00:46:56,732 --> 00:47:00,065
Funny idea, falsely attributing quotes.
686
00:47:00,232 --> 00:47:04,190
The state profits.
It's a reason to raise taxes.
687
00:47:04,482 --> 00:47:08,649
"I came, I saw, I conquered."
Hillary Clinton.
688
00:47:10,023 --> 00:47:11,981
"Ask not what
your country can do for you,
689
00:47:12,148 --> 00:47:14,482
but what you can do for your country."
690
00:47:14,649 --> 00:47:16,440
Kim Jong-un.
691
00:47:18,023 --> 00:47:19,607
I've got one too.
692
00:47:19,773 --> 00:47:22,565
"I have a simple recipe to keep fit.
693
00:47:22,731 --> 00:47:24,524
I go on killing spree every day."
694
00:47:27,273 --> 00:47:28,773
From whom?
695
00:47:28,981 --> 00:47:30,315
Attila Hildmann.
696
00:47:34,065 --> 00:47:35,856
Well, I've got to run.
697
00:47:36,107 --> 00:47:37,690
To CoCon.
698
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,898
-We're coming along.
-Really?
699
00:47:41,065 --> 00:47:43,399
It's a free country. For now.
700
00:47:43,565 --> 00:47:46,856
-My flight leaves in two hours.
-You're flying to Bielefeld?
701
00:47:47,023 --> 00:47:49,773
I'm flying to Frankfurt
and renting a car.
702
00:47:49,898 --> 00:47:51,940
I fly out of principle.
703
00:47:54,815 --> 00:47:58,564
Well-recognized scientists
are battling the climate lie.
704
00:47:58,731 --> 00:48:01,399
You know atmospheric physicist
Fred Singer?
705
00:48:01,648 --> 00:48:02,815
Fred Singer?
706
00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:05,523
He not only denied the climate crisis,
707
00:48:05,690 --> 00:48:09,439
he denied acid rain,
that the hole in the ozone exists,
708
00:48:09,690 --> 00:48:11,398
and that smoking causes cancer.
709
00:48:11,564 --> 00:48:13,606
Very credible guy.
710
00:48:13,773 --> 00:48:19,023
What nerve. I had to pay
a ten-euro baggage fee for my pouch.
711
00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:23,314
-Have you seen my phone?
-No.
712
00:48:24,023 --> 00:48:27,232
We do random,
non-suspicion-based full-scale checks.
713
00:48:27,773 --> 00:48:31,606
And you're randomly,
non-suspicion-based checking me
714
00:48:31,773 --> 00:48:34,940
because I don't look
so unsuspiciously Caucasian?
715
00:48:36,481 --> 00:48:38,523
Empty your pouch, please.
716
00:48:47,314 --> 00:48:49,564
Reunions are a joy.
717
00:48:50,481 --> 00:48:52,481
I need all of this back.
718
00:48:55,272 --> 00:48:57,314
Ah, look. My phone.
719
00:48:57,606 --> 00:49:00,523
Mine and yours are bourgeois categories.
720
00:49:03,815 --> 00:49:05,940
Please put the pouch on the belt.
721
00:49:06,189 --> 00:49:08,980
-I can't do that, dude.
-Pouch on the belt.
722
00:49:09,231 --> 00:49:11,022
Dude, it's part of me.
723
00:49:11,272 --> 00:49:14,731
The pouch has to go on the belt!
724
00:49:16,064 --> 00:49:19,022
Por favor el pucho on el belto.
725
00:49:23,648 --> 00:49:25,690
Part of me! Can't do it!
726
00:49:25,897 --> 00:49:28,064
The pouch has to go on the belt.
727
00:49:28,231 --> 00:49:30,106
Those are the rules.
728
00:49:30,814 --> 00:49:33,147
This is degrading!
729
00:49:34,897 --> 00:49:37,939
Last call for Penguin Air 4773
730
00:49:38,189 --> 00:49:39,980
to Frankfurt.
731
00:49:40,231 --> 00:49:42,439
Proceed to gate 17 immediately.
732
00:49:42,606 --> 00:49:44,106
I can't make out a thing.
733
00:49:45,398 --> 00:49:47,814
-We've got to go again.
-You have el culo in el aire.
734
00:49:47,980 --> 00:49:51,272
-And turn the pouch upside down.
-Are they with you?
735
00:49:52,106 --> 00:49:53,606
No.
736
00:49:53,814 --> 00:49:56,647
Excuse me. Can I go through now?
737
00:49:57,564 --> 00:50:00,730
Jacket off, sweater down, belt open,
shoes and hat off.
738
00:50:01,272 --> 00:50:02,647
Which...
739
00:50:13,563 --> 00:50:15,897
So what do you think, doctor?
740
00:50:16,772 --> 00:50:18,939
Is it serious?
741
00:50:19,647 --> 00:50:23,438
Is this okay?
Or should I shave off the hair?
742
00:50:26,563 --> 00:50:29,438
Oh, I can't believe it. Them again.
743
00:50:29,689 --> 00:50:33,522
I'll run through the charges,
destruction of a scanning machine,
744
00:50:33,772 --> 00:50:37,980
or rather, one moment...
an X-ray luggage scanner.
745
00:50:38,231 --> 00:50:41,147
-I got caught up in the cables.
-Why always me?
746
00:50:42,189 --> 00:50:43,814
Indecent exposure.
747
00:50:43,939 --> 00:50:45,855
I haven't eaten the whole day.
748
00:50:46,022 --> 00:50:47,814
And violating probation.
749
00:50:47,980 --> 00:50:50,897
Let's keep it short.
One month in prison.
750
00:50:51,147 --> 00:50:53,814
-What?
-For both of them.
751
00:50:54,022 --> 00:50:56,814
-But I'm just his pet.
-Your honor.
752
00:50:56,939 --> 00:51:01,147
As we are dealing with repeat offenders,
I think one month...
753
00:51:01,438 --> 00:51:05,064
-Then three. And don't drag this out.
-But... But...
754
00:51:05,313 --> 00:51:06,689
The cafeteria is about to close.
755
00:51:06,897 --> 00:51:11,188
-I have champagne truffles.
-Whoa, that's a bribe attempt.
756
00:51:13,105 --> 00:51:15,063
So, six months. Happy?
757
00:51:15,313 --> 00:51:16,897
But...
758
00:51:18,438 --> 00:51:20,647
-Huh?
-Objection.
759
00:51:20,855 --> 00:51:22,480
Denied.
760
00:51:42,313 --> 00:51:44,105
Joe, my man.
761
00:51:44,397 --> 00:51:46,605
-Yeah.
-So you're back?
762
00:51:46,814 --> 00:51:48,979
Freddie, they can't keep me down.
763
00:51:49,230 --> 00:51:52,438
How's Martha doing?
You old Martha fucker?
764
00:51:52,689 --> 00:51:55,563
You know her,
always has something to gripe about.
765
00:51:55,730 --> 00:51:57,438
-Joe.
-Tommi.
766
00:51:57,689 --> 00:52:00,771
You owe me a rematch
on the tennis court.
767
00:52:08,813 --> 00:52:12,230
I brought a little something
to nibble on.
768
00:52:12,522 --> 00:52:15,271
It's all vegan. Dig in. Help yourselves.
769
00:52:16,021 --> 00:52:19,438
All righty then,
according to Article 833, Section 2,
770
00:52:19,604 --> 00:52:21,729
the obligation to pay damages is invalid
771
00:52:21,938 --> 00:52:24,813
if they were caused
by a pet that is part of
772
00:52:25,021 --> 00:52:28,688
the owner's work,
occupation, or livelihood.
773
00:52:28,813 --> 00:52:32,313
And this man is very clearly
a small-time performer.
774
00:52:35,771 --> 00:52:40,021
The kangaroo is basically his mascot.
It is part of his act.
775
00:52:40,271 --> 00:52:43,397
And I'd like to refer to Article 582.
776
00:52:43,562 --> 00:52:46,938
Yes, all right.
Take the two of them with you, Joe.
777
00:52:50,271 --> 00:52:54,521
It was super nice of Joe to lend us
his car to drive to CoCon.
778
00:52:54,688 --> 00:52:58,604
"Tommi, you owe me
a rematch on the tennis court."
779
00:52:58,771 --> 00:53:01,688
"Dig in, please. It's all vegan."
780
00:53:04,854 --> 00:53:08,396
Why not leave your key here
so I can start painting the walls?
781
00:53:08,562 --> 00:53:11,771
Look for a nice restaurant
in Paris instead.
782
00:53:11,896 --> 00:53:13,896
If we're not back in two days,
783
00:53:14,479 --> 00:53:16,479
avenge our deaths.
784
00:53:17,229 --> 00:53:22,021
Oh, "Don Quixote," "The Big Lebowski,"
kangaroo, red, Berlin, Italy, Havel.
785
00:53:22,187 --> 00:53:25,896
Joke: A doc tells a small-time performer
he has three months to live.
786
00:53:26,063 --> 00:53:30,063
The performer says,
"All right, Doc. But off what?"
787
00:53:32,104 --> 00:53:33,270
Cute.
788
00:53:40,646 --> 00:53:44,479
-And you needed so long for that list?
-It wasn't easy.
789
00:53:44,646 --> 00:53:48,187
Of course it is: "Capital,"
"Banana Joe," kangaroo, red,
790
00:53:48,396 --> 00:53:50,396
Hanoi, Vietnam, Mekong, and the joke:
791
00:53:50,562 --> 00:53:53,396
how many Vietcong vets does it take
to put in a light bulb?
792
00:53:53,562 --> 00:53:55,937
-No idea, maybe two.
-You have no idea!
793
00:53:56,104 --> 00:53:58,895
-You weren't there!
-Are you nuts?
794
00:54:00,688 --> 00:54:03,062
TRUTH, FACTS, STAY VIGILANT
795
00:54:06,895 --> 00:54:10,104
Last time I asked you
for leads on this kangaroo.
796
00:54:10,396 --> 00:54:12,812
That's just conspiracy bullshit.
797
00:54:13,020 --> 00:54:15,604
Walter Feldmann contacted me.
798
00:54:15,812 --> 00:54:19,312
Walter, you have a YouTube channel
called Walternative Facts.
799
00:54:19,521 --> 00:54:24,187
-Correct.
-A video of yours went through the roof.
800
00:54:24,396 --> 00:54:26,646
Yes, "The Kangaroo Conspiracy."
801
00:54:26,812 --> 00:54:29,853
The kangaroo is the head of a conspiracy
802
00:54:30,104 --> 00:54:32,104
called the Antisocial Network.
803
00:54:32,396 --> 00:54:37,687
His anti-terror attacks aim to fan dirty
left-wing-green-thinking eco-fascism.
804
00:54:37,895 --> 00:54:40,521
I mean how many times
have I been branded a Nazi
805
00:54:40,687 --> 00:54:42,270
just because I'm a fan of the Führer ?
806
00:54:42,937 --> 00:54:47,437
But you've potentially, possibly,
perhaps, uncovered something shocking.
807
00:54:47,687 --> 00:54:48,687
Yes.
808
00:54:48,812 --> 00:54:53,437
For centuries, kangaroos have been
secretly pulling the strings.
809
00:54:54,895 --> 00:54:57,603
I'm sure you know this painting.
810
00:54:57,770 --> 00:54:59,478
What you don't know is...
811
00:55:00,270 --> 00:55:01,937
that it's been doctored.
812
00:55:02,187 --> 00:55:06,062
Recently, using terahertz radiation
and layer amplification,
813
00:55:06,229 --> 00:55:09,603
it was revealed
who was actually behind this revolution.
814
00:55:09,770 --> 00:55:14,270
A kangaroo! We have to stop the critter!
Down with the kangaroo conspiracy!
815
00:55:14,561 --> 00:55:17,812
I am prepared to die
for my c... country.
816
00:55:17,978 --> 00:55:20,311
Eva's made us tea. Thank you, dear.
817
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:23,978
-What kind? I don't like black.
-German herbal tea.
818
00:55:24,770 --> 00:55:27,770
"Strength through Friends."
It's on my webshop too.
819
00:55:28,478 --> 00:55:31,561
You'll find other great products too.
Check it out.
820
00:55:31,812 --> 00:55:36,770
After seeing Walter's kangaroo video,
I had to do some research of my own.
821
00:55:36,895 --> 00:55:38,603
And what I found out
822
00:55:38,812 --> 00:55:42,311
might potentially,
possibly, perhaps, be shocking.
823
00:55:56,561 --> 00:55:58,186
Stay vigilant.
824
00:55:58,645 --> 00:56:00,269
Stay vigilant.
825
00:56:01,561 --> 00:56:03,812
Dude, those freaks are out to get me.
826
00:56:03,937 --> 00:56:06,812
Soon you'll be getting death threats.
827
00:56:06,977 --> 00:56:09,770
Do you think Joe has a gun
in the glove box?
828
00:56:14,770 --> 00:56:15,936
Look.
829
00:56:16,103 --> 00:56:19,269
-Cookie?
-You have no idea what's in that.
830
00:56:21,812 --> 00:56:26,770
As the guy who always gets sanctioned
for animal neglect,
831
00:56:26,894 --> 00:56:29,520
I forbid you to eat those cookies.
832
00:56:32,436 --> 00:56:34,395
Stop that now!
833
00:56:34,645 --> 00:56:37,436
-Rock Paper Blizzard?
-If I win, you stop?
834
00:56:37,603 --> 00:56:40,269
If I win I get to eat them all
without you griping.
835
00:56:40,478 --> 00:56:42,811
-Deal!
-Rock, paper, blizzard!
836
00:56:43,687 --> 00:56:45,478
What's that? A giraffe again?
837
00:56:45,727 --> 00:56:48,228
It's a Tyrannosaurus rex, you loser!
838
00:56:48,436 --> 00:56:49,769
Interesting.
839
00:56:49,977 --> 00:56:52,811
Fun fact:
my fist was a falling meteorite.
840
00:56:55,686 --> 00:56:56,727
Duh.
841
00:56:57,186 --> 00:56:59,602
Anyone can win with a meteorite.
842
00:57:01,602 --> 00:57:03,686
And a falling meteorite is a pleonasm.
843
00:57:03,811 --> 00:57:06,727
An asteroid becomes
a meteorite by falling.
844
00:57:06,936 --> 00:57:11,061
Had you pointed at yourself
and said "smartass," you'd have won.
845
00:57:11,311 --> 00:57:13,144
-Two of three.
-Rock, paper, blizzard!
846
00:57:13,311 --> 00:57:14,311
Firestorm.
847
00:57:15,019 --> 00:57:16,727
-Well.
-No wells!
848
00:57:16,852 --> 00:57:20,186
I can do anything I think of,
but not a well?
849
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:21,936
-Yes.
-Nonsense.
850
00:57:22,186 --> 00:57:23,936
Okay, three of five.
851
00:57:24,103 --> 00:57:25,936
-Rock, paper...
-No black holes.
852
00:57:26,186 --> 00:57:28,186
-How did you know I...?
-...blizzard.
853
00:57:28,394 --> 00:57:30,228
It isn't a game of chance.
854
00:57:38,061 --> 00:57:40,435
Find the fastest route to Bielefeld.
855
00:57:40,686 --> 00:57:42,519
SEARCHING FOR BIELEFELD
856
00:57:42,686 --> 00:57:44,769
Not found.
857
00:57:47,519 --> 00:57:48,977
No problem,
858
00:57:49,228 --> 00:57:51,852
I have an excellent sense of direction.
859
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,268
We'll be there
before you can say razupaltuff.
860
00:57:55,477 --> 00:57:57,144
Other way around.
861
00:57:57,769 --> 00:57:59,727
Hold on. Nearly got it. One sec.
862
00:58:00,394 --> 00:58:02,435
You have to get off here.
863
00:58:31,769 --> 00:58:33,519
EARLY SHOP
VILLAGE DRINKS
864
00:58:44,686 --> 00:58:45,686
Hello?
865
00:58:45,811 --> 00:58:49,811
My mom told me to be wary of places
where right-wing radicals
866
00:58:49,935 --> 00:58:52,310
keep their posters down low.
867
00:58:52,602 --> 00:58:53,976
PRINCE OF EUROPE
868
00:59:01,768 --> 00:59:03,394
Are you nuts?
869
00:59:12,726 --> 00:59:15,602
I have a really terrible feeling.
870
00:59:16,227 --> 00:59:19,185
Let's go ask at the inn. Looks nice.
871
00:59:22,394 --> 00:59:24,268
HEIDI'S
872
00:59:35,726 --> 00:59:37,476
Good evening.
873
00:59:39,227 --> 00:59:40,851
Come on.
874
00:59:44,768 --> 00:59:46,060
Hello?
875
00:59:46,810 --> 00:59:49,976
Oh no. This is the shadow world.
It's the Upside Down.
876
00:59:50,143 --> 00:59:52,726
-We have to go.
-Pull yourself together.
877
00:59:53,601 --> 00:59:55,310
Ah! Dark Herta!
878
00:59:55,601 --> 00:59:57,518
Um... Good evening.
879
00:59:57,768 --> 01:00:01,643
What kind of a strange dog
is that you got there?
880
01:00:03,601 --> 01:00:07,267
-Dark Jesus! Dark Maria!
-We're going to the refugee home.
881
01:00:08,102 --> 01:00:10,185
We need to...
882
01:00:10,393 --> 01:00:12,393
charge our electric car.
883
01:00:12,559 --> 01:00:14,643
Do you have an outlet for us?
884
01:00:14,810 --> 01:00:17,185
You think out here in the country
885
01:00:17,893 --> 01:00:20,226
we just have torches and candles?
886
01:00:20,518 --> 01:00:21,518
THE GERMAN PEOPLE
887
01:00:21,685 --> 01:00:23,559
That we live primitively?
888
01:00:23,810 --> 01:00:25,810
Or, as Thomas Hobbes would put it,
889
01:00:26,060 --> 01:00:29,102
"solitary, poor,
nasty, brutish, and short"?
890
01:00:29,393 --> 01:00:30,643
Dark Uwe!
891
01:00:30,851 --> 01:00:32,226
Your opposite.
892
01:00:32,434 --> 01:00:34,810
I mean, he's manly,
893
01:00:35,393 --> 01:00:36,893
talented and...
894
01:00:37,059 --> 01:00:38,601
Kiss me.
895
01:00:40,559 --> 01:00:42,059
...loved.
896
01:00:44,851 --> 01:00:46,768
Who? Where?
897
01:00:46,976 --> 01:00:48,810
Who is it?
898
01:00:50,184 --> 01:00:51,893
Who is my opposite?
899
01:01:02,226 --> 01:01:03,851
Plugged in!
900
01:01:22,601 --> 01:01:24,226
VACANCY
901
01:01:33,142 --> 01:01:35,059
You better not wake me.
902
01:01:47,934 --> 01:01:50,101
Just don't lose your head.
903
01:01:58,892 --> 01:02:00,892
Long live Aldebaran!
904
01:02:01,059 --> 01:02:05,475
We were in contact.
The Aldebaran confirmed our worst fears.
905
01:02:05,642 --> 01:02:09,934
The invasion of the reptilians
by the Draco constellation has begun.
906
01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:14,642
The government of GER Ltd. has been
subjected by the Plutonium Empire.
907
01:02:14,809 --> 01:02:17,101
The Sucknitz cell must take action!
908
01:02:17,267 --> 01:02:20,934
We have to cap the Reptilians'
adrenochrome supply.
909
01:02:22,725 --> 01:02:27,767
-The Reptilians are among us.
-Even here, in Sucknitz.
910
01:02:27,892 --> 01:02:30,184
Stop gabbing so much, we have to act!
911
01:02:30,392 --> 01:02:32,475
We have to get to the bunkers in Berlin!
912
01:02:32,725 --> 01:02:37,392
-To free the kids!
-Or they'll harvest their adrenochrome.
913
01:02:37,558 --> 01:02:40,475
-We're ready!
-For the children!
914
01:02:40,725 --> 01:02:43,225
-For the children!
-For the children!
915
01:02:43,517 --> 01:02:45,934
We are not alone.
916
01:02:47,767 --> 01:02:48,934
No.
917
01:02:54,975 --> 01:02:56,809
Leave me! Leave me!
918
01:02:57,392 --> 01:02:58,809
Leave me!
919
01:02:59,017 --> 01:03:01,225
-Leave me!
-I've given your...
920
01:03:02,100 --> 01:03:04,892
Well, it can't be a kangaroo
921
01:03:05,141 --> 01:03:07,974
because owning wild animals
is not permitted.
922
01:03:08,141 --> 01:03:10,600
Let's just say I've given your... dog
923
01:03:10,809 --> 01:03:12,892
a mix of diazepam and haloperidol.
924
01:03:13,058 --> 01:03:15,433
Did someone say dog?
925
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,266
You won't believe
the far-out trip I had.
926
01:03:18,809 --> 01:03:20,850
Oh, yes, I believe it.
927
01:03:23,642 --> 01:03:25,100
Are you nuts?
928
01:03:25,266 --> 01:03:27,392
SUCKNITZ VILLAGE FAIR
PRINCE OF EUROPE
929
01:03:27,558 --> 01:03:30,600
This is the shadow world.
It's the Upside Down. Dark Herta!
930
01:03:30,767 --> 01:03:32,767
Collections for the children's home?
931
01:03:32,891 --> 01:03:35,392
Dark Maria! Dark Jesus!
932
01:03:35,642 --> 01:03:37,308
Dark Uwe!
933
01:03:40,100 --> 01:03:42,308
Who is my opposite?
934
01:03:44,308 --> 01:03:46,141
HEIDI'S
935
01:03:46,308 --> 01:03:49,683
Maybe you shouldn't have eaten
the cookies, hm?
936
01:03:49,808 --> 01:03:53,058
Maybe you shouldn't have wagered
our apartment, hm?
937
01:03:53,225 --> 01:03:56,266
Maybe you shouldn't have come
to the dark restaurant, hm?
938
01:03:56,475 --> 01:03:59,683
Maybe I shouldn't have asked
you for eggs, hm?
939
01:03:59,808 --> 01:04:03,266
Maybe I shouldn't have answered.
Maybe I liked living alone.
940
01:04:03,475 --> 01:04:04,724
Hm?
941
01:04:07,808 --> 01:04:09,058
Cookie?
942
01:04:22,808 --> 01:04:25,599
Last night,
after a heat wave lasting weeks,
943
01:04:25,808 --> 01:04:29,016
we had torrential rains,
so drive carefully.
944
01:04:29,183 --> 01:04:32,599
And now a hit
my good friend Joe requested.
945
01:04:32,766 --> 01:04:37,225
He says hi to all the people,
animals, and plants on the planet.
946
01:04:51,808 --> 01:04:54,265
Ding-dong!
We're paying you a visit
947
01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:57,141
Ringing your bell with rhythm and pie
Give it a try
948
01:04:57,307 --> 01:05:01,724
We picked it from the rhythm pie tree
Take a bite and see
949
01:05:01,849 --> 01:05:05,683
And have you guessed
The out-of-this-world secrets inside?
950
01:05:05,808 --> 01:05:08,100
Brain, eyes, lips,
heart, nose, legs, breast
951
01:05:08,265 --> 01:05:10,766
Put them together
then shake'em with the rest
952
01:05:10,974 --> 01:05:14,933
Cut a rug and we'll sing to you
We're the dream team, so damn cool
953
01:05:15,182 --> 01:05:17,224
On our knees, we beg and plead
954
01:05:17,432 --> 01:05:19,224
Please, oh please, don't be such a dweeb
955
01:05:19,516 --> 01:05:22,182
Get crazy, people, champagne and treats
956
01:05:22,474 --> 01:05:26,474
Let's outwit logic to the beat
Throw confetti and walk on tables
957
01:05:26,641 --> 01:05:28,891
And eat our brains with ladles
958
01:05:29,140 --> 01:05:31,099
I mean, logic is sick overrated
959
01:05:31,265 --> 01:05:33,891
Bielefeld! You have to turn off! Turn!
960
01:05:34,140 --> 01:05:36,140
...one plus one plus one plus one
961
01:05:36,432 --> 01:05:38,766
plus one plus one plus one is six!
962
01:05:44,391 --> 01:05:45,599
Crap, crap.
963
01:05:53,683 --> 01:05:55,182
Tell me the cookies are gone.
964
01:06:04,099 --> 01:06:05,765
Pack them away.
965
01:06:05,973 --> 01:06:07,599
Pack them away, quick!
966
01:06:08,182 --> 01:06:09,848
Not in your pouch!
967
01:06:10,391 --> 01:06:11,641
Yeah.
968
01:06:14,099 --> 01:06:15,599
They'll see them!
969
01:06:15,807 --> 01:06:18,015
What was I supposed to do with them?
970
01:06:20,682 --> 01:06:23,140
-Eat them!
-You eat them!
971
01:06:29,932 --> 01:06:32,182
Where did you learn to drive?
972
01:06:33,807 --> 01:06:35,556
-Lisbeth?
-Lisbeth!
973
01:06:36,474 --> 01:06:39,224
It's you guys. Unbelievable.
974
01:06:39,515 --> 01:06:42,807
-What are you doing here?
-I've got to get to CoCon.
975
01:06:46,391 --> 01:06:49,390
And, um... Why do you have a police car?
976
01:06:52,556 --> 01:06:54,431
That's a long story.
977
01:06:55,556 --> 01:06:58,807
Dear passengers,
due to disastrous weather conditions
978
01:06:59,057 --> 01:07:01,598
the flight is being rerouted.
979
01:07:06,682 --> 01:07:08,099
Fuck you.
980
01:07:21,556 --> 01:07:23,473
Stay vigilant.
981
01:07:25,015 --> 01:07:27,139
I haven't slept much.
982
01:07:29,223 --> 01:07:30,306
Sick.
983
01:07:30,515 --> 01:07:33,973
That has to be
the most incredible... No!
984
01:07:42,598 --> 01:07:45,473
Please turn. Please turn.
985
01:07:46,807 --> 01:07:49,431
Cars aren't really your thing, huh?
986
01:08:06,223 --> 01:08:08,723
I have to go. I'm running late.
987
01:08:09,682 --> 01:08:11,682
I'm speaking just before Adam Krieger.
988
01:08:11,806 --> 01:08:15,806
I'll take you.
I have an excellent sense of direction.
989
01:08:17,556 --> 01:08:19,139
-Um... Yes.
-But...
990
01:08:19,972 --> 01:08:24,056
Shouldn't we call
roadside assistance or something?
991
01:08:34,889 --> 01:08:36,764
Howdy Doody, Joe speaking.
992
01:08:36,889 --> 01:08:38,847
Hey, Joe. So?
993
01:08:39,473 --> 01:08:41,306
Listen, your car...
994
01:08:41,597 --> 01:08:46,431
is parked on the side of the road,
just outside of Bielefeld.
995
01:08:46,681 --> 01:08:49,847
Although "parked" isn't exactly
the right word.
996
01:08:50,014 --> 01:08:54,306
That is, it's more kind of
lying there... on its hood.
997
01:08:54,597 --> 01:08:57,056
There was this bee that...
998
01:08:57,972 --> 01:09:00,181
It's, uh... hard to explain.
999
01:09:00,390 --> 01:09:03,722
Ah, no biggie.
Don't worry about it, it's insured.
1000
01:09:03,847 --> 01:09:06,264
The main thing is that you're fine.
1001
01:09:10,764 --> 01:09:12,722
Do you see that too?
1002
01:09:16,264 --> 01:09:19,806
I presume we're dealing with
a rift in time.
1003
01:09:20,931 --> 01:09:22,514
Say what?
1004
01:09:22,764 --> 01:09:27,223
A rift in the space-time continuum
has sent us back 2,000 years.
1005
01:09:27,430 --> 01:09:29,305
Liesel! What are you doing?
1006
01:09:29,514 --> 01:09:31,555
-Liesel!
-Excuse me.
1007
01:09:32,430 --> 01:09:35,056
Excuse me, are you on your way to CoCon?
1008
01:09:36,972 --> 01:09:39,222
Surround her!
1009
01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:47,098
-The die is cast!
-Seize the day!
1010
01:09:47,389 --> 01:09:51,263
We've found a German
who have a funny dog.
1011
01:09:51,472 --> 01:09:55,305
Who has a funny dog!
1012
01:09:56,972 --> 01:09:58,931
Forward, prisoners!
1013
01:10:00,180 --> 01:10:01,222
Watch it!
1014
01:10:01,806 --> 01:10:04,180
I fell in the magic potion as a kid.
1015
01:10:05,806 --> 01:10:07,180
What is this?
1016
01:10:07,472 --> 01:10:10,971
Clades Variana.
1017
01:10:11,222 --> 01:10:13,305
-Yo, Clades, wassup?
-Hey, no.
1018
01:10:13,597 --> 01:10:15,263
I'm not Clades.
1019
01:10:15,472 --> 01:10:17,806
This is the Clades Variana,
1020
01:10:17,971 --> 01:10:19,764
the Varian Disaster.
1021
01:10:20,764 --> 01:10:25,180
I am Publius Quinctilius Varus
of Cremona,
1022
01:10:25,472 --> 01:10:29,806
son of quaestor
Sextus Quinctilius Varus.
1023
01:10:30,055 --> 01:10:33,805
Commander of three Roman legions!
1024
01:10:37,263 --> 01:10:38,971
And in real life?
1025
01:10:39,222 --> 01:10:40,805
Our Latin teacher.
1026
01:10:42,472 --> 01:10:44,681
Magister latinae lingulae est.
1027
01:10:44,888 --> 01:10:46,430
Romans go the home!
1028
01:10:46,930 --> 01:10:50,222
Romans go home!
1029
01:10:50,430 --> 01:10:52,263
Raise shields!
1030
01:10:55,597 --> 01:10:56,805
Turn around!
1031
01:10:59,763 --> 01:11:01,514
Speers down!
1032
01:11:24,971 --> 01:11:28,680
-And you do this every year?
-Isn't it grand!
1033
01:11:34,013 --> 01:11:36,721
-Hello.
-You had an accident?
1034
01:11:36,930 --> 01:11:38,388
Yeah...
1035
01:11:38,971 --> 01:11:41,721
- There was this bee, and...
-Is my mom with you?
1036
01:11:42,846 --> 01:11:44,846
-Maybe.
-Is she all right?
1037
01:11:45,097 --> 01:11:47,013
I don't know.
1038
01:11:48,097 --> 01:11:49,638
What's going on?
1039
01:11:49,846 --> 01:11:51,888
That's hard to explain.
1040
01:11:52,138 --> 01:11:53,971
Very hard to explain.
1041
01:11:54,221 --> 01:11:56,429
What is hard to explain?
1042
01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:59,055
-Um... the situation in general.
-Fire!
1043
01:12:00,388 --> 01:12:01,971
Take cover!
1044
01:12:02,846 --> 01:12:05,013
They have ballistas!
1045
01:12:05,179 --> 01:12:06,179
Ballistae!
1046
01:12:06,471 --> 01:12:07,971
They have ballistae!
1047
01:12:09,097 --> 01:12:11,388
Who has ballistae?
1048
01:12:12,930 --> 01:12:14,596
The connection is bad.
1049
01:12:14,805 --> 01:12:15,930
At least I hope so.
1050
01:12:17,846 --> 01:12:19,638
Are you in a movie theater?
1051
01:12:19,846 --> 01:12:21,596
-Excuse me.
- Hello?
1052
01:12:24,471 --> 01:12:26,304
Do I have to avenge your death?
1053
01:12:26,596 --> 01:12:27,721
Nope...
1054
01:12:27,930 --> 01:12:29,596
No.
1055
01:12:38,929 --> 01:12:42,805
Um, excuse me.
Which way is it to Bielefeld?
1056
01:12:46,680 --> 01:12:47,929
Thanks.
1057
01:13:16,179 --> 01:13:18,012
That was a cakewalk.
1058
01:13:19,137 --> 01:13:21,262
COCON
WELCOME TO THE TRUTH
1059
01:13:28,388 --> 01:13:31,553
THIS EVENING
YOUR PATH TO THE TRUTH
1060
01:13:32,970 --> 01:13:34,970
STOP ORGANIC DIGITIZATION
1061
01:13:35,137 --> 01:13:36,970
AGAINST THE VACCINE MAFIA
1062
01:13:39,637 --> 01:13:44,137
"Come with me and you'll find
all it'll cost you is your mind."
1063
01:13:44,304 --> 01:13:45,929
Donald Trump.
1064
01:14:09,553 --> 01:14:11,096
Welcome,
1065
01:14:11,387 --> 01:14:13,804
you are now a citizen of the Reich.
1066
01:14:14,054 --> 01:14:16,137
I'm a citizen of the Reich!
1067
01:14:17,261 --> 01:14:19,804
The Romans were harmless in comparison.
1068
01:14:19,970 --> 01:14:23,303
Yes. And this here appears to be out.
1069
01:14:25,220 --> 01:14:26,470
SYSTEM TRASH
1070
01:14:26,720 --> 01:14:29,220
These 499-euro sunglasses of mine
1071
01:14:29,512 --> 01:14:33,512
are an indispensable resource
in the fight against reptilians.
1072
01:14:34,428 --> 01:14:37,136
That one helps heal... rheumatism.
1073
01:14:37,428 --> 01:14:39,428
What's that you said?
1074
01:14:40,553 --> 01:14:42,887
That one helps heal hearing loss.
1075
01:14:43,136 --> 01:14:45,428
Can I get an autograph too?
1076
01:14:45,595 --> 01:14:47,428
Yes, sure. Of course.
1077
01:14:47,595 --> 01:14:49,136
-Here.
-Awesome.
1078
01:14:49,428 --> 01:14:51,595
-Diesel Liesel!
-On the hat.
1079
01:14:51,804 --> 01:14:52,804
Right.
1080
01:14:53,011 --> 01:14:54,095
On the arm.
1081
01:14:54,387 --> 01:14:57,387
-Thank you.
-I'm a huge fan. Can you sign the baby?
1082
01:14:57,637 --> 01:14:58,595
Uh, no.
1083
01:14:58,804 --> 01:15:02,679
Donald Trump confirmed
that vaccines cause autism.
1084
01:15:02,886 --> 01:15:04,969
And he's a well-trained doctor.
1085
01:15:05,136 --> 01:15:07,595
Go on. One for your child too.
1086
01:15:08,303 --> 01:15:10,886
And that's why it was an inside job.
1087
01:15:11,053 --> 01:15:13,803
-Thank you for the chat.
-Thank you.
1088
01:15:19,178 --> 01:15:22,679
9/11 is the cannabis
of conspiracy theories.
1089
01:15:22,886 --> 01:15:26,220
No, I think Covid-19
is the gateway drug now.
1090
01:15:26,428 --> 01:15:28,844
This isn't the right place for this.
1091
01:15:29,095 --> 01:15:30,553
-Please go.
-Security!
1092
01:15:30,803 --> 01:15:34,011
I thought anyone could say
any old bull here.
1093
01:15:34,261 --> 01:15:36,136
-Okay, fine.
-Move!
1094
01:15:36,303 --> 01:15:38,803
I have proof that 9/11
1095
01:15:39,011 --> 01:15:41,553
wasn't an inside job!
1096
01:15:42,636 --> 01:15:44,928
Could I still get a T-shirt?
1097
01:15:45,178 --> 01:15:46,969
I do workshops in Brandenburg.
1098
01:15:47,220 --> 01:15:49,969
A Glock 32 is good. It's easy to grip.
1099
01:15:50,220 --> 01:15:54,178
You can crawl across the floor, or jump.
You have to jump after them.
1100
01:15:54,470 --> 01:15:57,636
You've got to shoot the critters
right in the stomach, the head.
1101
01:15:57,844 --> 01:16:00,511
If you leave the window open at night,
1102
01:16:00,761 --> 01:16:03,636
illegal drones will implant
a microchip inside you.
1103
01:16:03,844 --> 01:16:07,844
Then Hitler withdrew
to New Swabia in a Nazi UFO.
1104
01:16:08,095 --> 01:16:10,053
...where he realized that
1105
01:16:10,303 --> 01:16:13,053
the sun is cold.
1106
01:16:13,220 --> 01:16:17,386
-Why else would...
-I'm glad I'm no small-time performer.
1107
01:16:17,552 --> 01:16:20,719
It'd be very hard to overstate this.
1108
01:16:22,386 --> 01:16:26,178
You have to understate it
or no one will believe it.
1109
01:16:26,386 --> 01:16:30,095
The small hall: pendulum divining
with heavy metals for beginners.
1110
01:16:30,386 --> 01:16:33,302
Krieger founded
a money-grubbing publishing house.
1111
01:16:35,594 --> 01:16:38,427
-He was a left-wing radical?
-Yes.
1112
01:16:39,552 --> 01:16:45,053
Strange. People who fall into the rabbit
hole always land on the far right.
1113
01:16:45,219 --> 01:16:46,761
Nonsense.
1114
01:16:46,886 --> 01:16:48,594
Krieger isn't a Nazi.
1115
01:16:48,803 --> 01:16:50,719
Don't take this the wrong way,
1116
01:16:50,844 --> 01:16:54,803
but if something walks,
clucks, and lays eggs like a chicken,
1117
01:16:54,969 --> 01:16:57,386
then it very probably is a chicken.
1118
01:16:57,636 --> 01:16:59,260
Oh, crap.
1119
01:17:00,052 --> 01:17:04,761
Come over here,
we have the latest truth for you.
1120
01:17:04,886 --> 01:17:07,803
Here's what it's all about:
the world is a cube.
1121
01:17:08,010 --> 01:17:12,469
We've got T-shirts for 79.90,
and we're everywhere.
1122
01:17:12,636 --> 01:17:15,260
We're on Facebook. We're on...
1123
01:17:22,594 --> 01:17:25,552
-Do you remember us?
-We're your biggest fans.
1124
01:17:25,803 --> 01:17:27,177
What? But...
1125
01:17:27,803 --> 01:17:31,719
We took the liberty of disseminating
your revolutionary message.
1126
01:17:31,927 --> 01:17:33,094
What?
1127
01:17:33,260 --> 01:17:35,552
My message? I don't understand.
1128
01:17:35,802 --> 01:17:38,260
We were there, in Köpenick,
1129
01:17:38,469 --> 01:17:40,678
when you spoke of the cube Earth.
1130
01:17:40,885 --> 01:17:44,718
The only way to ward off chemtrails is
to have a roof over your head.
1131
01:17:44,843 --> 01:17:46,552
Earth is a cube.
1132
01:17:47,678 --> 01:17:49,677
A cube-Earth theory.
1133
01:17:50,219 --> 01:17:52,386
The Earth is obviously square.
1134
01:17:52,552 --> 01:17:55,052
Why else do all maps have four corners?
1135
01:17:55,219 --> 01:17:57,802
We've been spreading
your truth everywhere.
1136
01:17:57,968 --> 01:18:00,802
Facebook, YouTube,
Insta, Twitter, 4chan,
1137
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:03,386
5chan, 6chan, 7chan,
1138
01:18:03,635 --> 01:18:04,885
8chan,
1139
01:18:05,135 --> 01:18:06,885
MySpace, Telegram, WeChat,
1140
01:18:07,135 --> 01:18:08,386
nextdoor.de,
1141
01:18:08,635 --> 01:18:11,469
Reddit, WhatsApp, StudiVZ, TikTok.
1142
01:18:11,718 --> 01:18:16,677
Soon only sheeple will believe
the Earth is flat and/or round.
1143
01:18:16,802 --> 01:18:18,469
Round? Ha.
1144
01:18:18,635 --> 01:18:19,843
How ridiculous.
1145
01:18:20,094 --> 01:18:22,718
What baloney. That was just a joke.
1146
01:18:22,927 --> 01:18:25,094
This is all one big joke.
1147
01:18:25,386 --> 01:18:29,135
-What?
-I thought up the thing with the cube.
1148
01:18:30,802 --> 01:18:31,885
Ah.
1149
01:18:32,052 --> 01:18:35,927
This is a test?
You're testing our true belief.
1150
01:18:36,177 --> 01:18:38,135
-Right?
-No.
1151
01:18:38,302 --> 01:18:40,052
It's bullcrap.
1152
01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:44,510
And you're still allowed to say that.
1153
01:18:45,968 --> 01:18:47,593
Oh, Lisbeth.
1154
01:18:48,468 --> 01:18:50,885
Lisbeth, why are you denying everything?
1155
01:18:51,551 --> 01:18:53,510
I can tell you why.
1156
01:18:54,968 --> 01:18:57,010
The kangaroo brainwashed her.
1157
01:18:57,177 --> 01:18:58,385
Me?
1158
01:18:59,010 --> 01:19:02,760
You must've sat in the garage
with the engine running.
1159
01:19:02,885 --> 01:19:06,510
You've been brainwashed,
and/or are a traitor.
1160
01:19:06,760 --> 01:19:08,218
Traitor!
1161
01:19:08,426 --> 01:19:10,843
-Traitor!
-Traitor!
1162
01:19:11,094 --> 01:19:13,134
Traitor! Traitor!
1163
01:19:20,802 --> 01:19:22,843
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!
1164
01:19:27,927 --> 01:19:31,510
I'm certain we are
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
1165
01:19:31,677 --> 01:19:34,426
dealing with a misunderstanding here.
1166
01:19:36,134 --> 01:19:38,385
This is Lisbeth.
1167
01:19:38,551 --> 01:19:40,259
Diesel Liesel.
1168
01:19:40,551 --> 01:19:42,093
One of us.
1169
01:19:42,385 --> 01:19:44,009
Right, Lisbeth?
1170
01:19:45,551 --> 01:19:48,802
-Adam, I really don't know...
-Hey, Mr. S.!
1171
01:19:48,967 --> 01:19:50,635
A real S. Martazz!
1172
01:19:53,801 --> 01:19:56,218
These fools aren't with you, are they?
1173
01:20:01,093 --> 01:20:02,259
No.
1174
01:20:06,510 --> 01:20:07,801
You see?
1175
01:20:07,967 --> 01:20:10,676
Go freshen up.
You're up in five minutes.
1176
01:20:10,801 --> 01:20:12,009
Yes.
1177
01:20:12,967 --> 01:20:15,385
It's our duty to stop the kangaroo!
1178
01:20:15,551 --> 01:20:17,717
That critter can't leave here alive!
1179
01:20:24,134 --> 01:20:27,468
Mincemeat! Mincemeat! Mincemeat...
1180
01:20:40,801 --> 01:20:44,176
Wait! What you're about to do is murder!
1181
01:20:44,385 --> 01:20:46,717
You'll all go to prison for this.
1182
01:20:46,842 --> 01:20:48,176
Not true.
1183
01:20:49,134 --> 01:20:52,467
As per the German Criminal Code,
animals are goods.
1184
01:20:52,634 --> 01:20:55,967
According to Article 303,
killing this kangaroo
1185
01:20:56,218 --> 01:20:59,134
would merely be considered
property damage.
1186
01:20:59,425 --> 01:21:00,509
What?
1187
01:21:00,676 --> 01:21:05,425
So we would at most,
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
1188
01:21:05,592 --> 01:21:10,759
be liable to provide recourse
to this gentlemen for killing his pet.
1189
01:21:10,967 --> 01:21:13,884
It isn't my pet. It belongs to itself.
1190
01:21:14,051 --> 01:21:16,592
It's peculiar
when it comes to ownership.
1191
01:21:16,801 --> 01:21:19,592
-Ugh, bad timing.
-All the better.
1192
01:21:20,300 --> 01:21:24,717
Killing an animal without an owner is
no problem whatsoever.
1193
01:21:24,926 --> 01:21:26,467
-Nice.
-No!
1194
01:21:26,717 --> 01:21:29,051
-No!
-Stop! Stop!
1195
01:21:29,676 --> 01:21:31,842
One moment. Stop! Stop!
1196
01:21:32,092 --> 01:21:33,759
Stop!
1197
01:21:33,884 --> 01:21:36,884
Scheduling announcement: in five minutes
1198
01:21:37,133 --> 01:21:39,258
Diesel Liesel, followed by...
1199
01:21:39,467 --> 01:21:41,801
-Lisbeth.
- ...Adam Krieger, live.
1200
01:21:42,050 --> 01:21:47,050
You've found like-minded people,
friends, I'd even say family.
1201
01:21:48,384 --> 01:21:51,175
Don't say anything you'll regret later.
1202
01:21:53,966 --> 01:21:58,966
As per the statutes the Brotherhood
of Truth Warriors adopted in 1448
1203
01:21:59,217 --> 01:22:03,717
in Nuremberg, I demand the accused
be allowed to defend themselves,
1204
01:22:03,842 --> 01:22:05,717
in a duel.
1205
01:22:12,759 --> 01:22:16,634
That might
potentially, possibly, perhaps,
1206
01:22:17,258 --> 01:22:19,217
indeed be in the statutes.
1207
01:22:20,550 --> 01:22:22,425
If the accused demand a duel,
1208
01:22:22,592 --> 01:22:24,966
then it must be granted to them.
1209
01:22:25,217 --> 01:22:28,300
And the accused get
to choose the weapons.
1210
01:22:28,509 --> 01:22:29,841
I choose...
1211
01:22:30,384 --> 01:22:32,175
Rock Paper Blizzard.
1212
01:22:36,300 --> 01:22:39,633
Welcome to
the big Rock Paper Blizzard duel.
1213
01:22:45,092 --> 01:22:47,591
We're playing best of three.
1214
01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:51,258
Once one team has won two duels,
it has won.
1215
01:22:51,841 --> 01:22:54,800
Round one features the kangaroo...
1216
01:22:59,591 --> 01:23:01,758
against Heinz!
1217
01:23:08,508 --> 01:23:09,966
On your marks...
1218
01:23:24,175 --> 01:23:25,716
get set...
1219
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:31,800
rock, paper, blizzard!
1220
01:23:33,966 --> 01:23:35,800
Climate crisis.
1221
01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:38,383
Adam Krieger!
1222
01:23:43,092 --> 01:23:46,174
Krieger doesn't believe
in the climate crisis.
1223
01:23:46,466 --> 01:23:49,383
It doesn't care
if Krieger doesn't believe in it.
1224
01:23:49,549 --> 01:23:51,925
-It's coming no matter what.
-Oh, yeah?
1225
01:23:52,758 --> 01:23:54,299
Krieger doesn't care.
1226
01:23:54,841 --> 01:23:57,383
Even if there were a crisis,
1227
01:23:57,549 --> 01:24:02,257
in central Germany it wouldn't be
really bad until after he's dead.
1228
01:24:05,633 --> 01:24:07,508
Not a good crowd.
1229
01:24:07,675 --> 01:24:10,424
And what about the rest of the world?
1230
01:24:16,924 --> 01:24:20,174
Krieger doesn't give a shit
about the rest of the world!
1231
01:24:20,466 --> 01:24:23,257
Krieger doesn't give a shit
about the rest of the world!
1232
01:24:23,466 --> 01:24:25,299
That's right!
1233
01:24:26,965 --> 01:24:27,965
Yes!
1234
01:24:28,216 --> 01:24:31,132
The first round goes to Heinz!
1235
01:24:32,466 --> 01:24:33,424
Yes!
1236
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,049
But...
1237
01:24:36,799 --> 01:24:38,633
prompting isn't fair.
1238
01:24:40,091 --> 01:24:42,383
One more victory and his team has won.
1239
01:24:42,633 --> 01:24:43,882
Bravo!
1240
01:24:51,633 --> 01:24:53,299
Round two.
1241
01:24:54,007 --> 01:24:58,174
We have Lisbeth Schlabotnik,
alias Diesel Liesel...
1242
01:25:02,049 --> 01:25:04,508
versus Tina from "White Russian Today"!
1243
01:25:09,715 --> 01:25:11,590
On your marks...
1244
01:25:15,757 --> 01:25:17,174
get set...
1245
01:25:26,965 --> 01:25:29,674
rock, paper, blizzard!
1246
01:25:30,590 --> 01:25:32,049
Jesus Christ!
1247
01:25:33,382 --> 01:25:35,049
Chuck Norris!
1248
01:25:41,840 --> 01:25:43,216
There's nothing to discuss.
1249
01:25:43,423 --> 01:25:47,840
Jesus is obviously more important
than Chuck Norris.
1250
01:25:51,799 --> 01:25:53,924
This isn't about importance.
1251
01:25:54,799 --> 01:25:57,757
This is about head-to-head battle.
1252
01:25:57,882 --> 01:25:59,548
Yes! Yes, ma'am!
1253
01:25:59,799 --> 01:26:03,507
Jesus is far more powerful.
He can change water into wine!
1254
01:26:03,757 --> 01:26:05,965
-Say what?
-And raise the dead!
1255
01:26:06,674 --> 01:26:08,674
And the thing with the fish.
1256
01:26:08,882 --> 01:26:11,924
And if Chuck hit him on the left cheek,
1257
01:26:12,173 --> 01:26:14,674
what would Jesus do then?
1258
01:26:16,423 --> 01:26:17,965
Crap.
1259
01:26:25,006 --> 01:26:27,256
He would turn the other cheek.
1260
01:26:31,173 --> 01:26:33,382
The second round goes to the home team!
1261
01:26:41,632 --> 01:26:43,507
That decides it.
1262
01:26:44,048 --> 01:26:48,256
We have a clear winner
and the kangaroo has to die!
1263
01:26:56,964 --> 01:26:59,131
No, no! Wait, wait, wait!
1264
01:26:59,298 --> 01:27:00,590
Stop!
1265
01:27:02,507 --> 01:27:06,215
I want my turn too. Double or nothing.
1266
01:27:06,507 --> 01:27:08,465
What's that supposed to mean?
1267
01:27:09,714 --> 01:27:12,548
If I beat you, the kangaroo goes free.
1268
01:27:13,548 --> 01:27:14,923
And if you lose?
1269
01:27:17,881 --> 01:27:21,131
Then you can kill me too?
1270
01:27:23,673 --> 01:27:26,215
-Boy, are you insane?
-No, no, no.
1271
01:27:26,881 --> 01:27:30,547
I have to advise against that.
That would be murder.
1272
01:27:30,798 --> 01:27:32,006
Sorry.
1273
01:27:33,173 --> 01:27:34,798
Wait! No!
1274
01:27:35,465 --> 01:27:37,131
All right...
1275
01:27:38,256 --> 01:27:40,589
If I lose...
1276
01:27:41,547 --> 01:27:43,090
then...
1277
01:27:43,256 --> 01:27:46,673
I will kill myself.
1278
01:27:47,256 --> 01:27:50,464
And I'll do it with that... cleaver!
1279
01:27:52,547 --> 01:27:55,006
Legally, that's not a problem.
1280
01:27:55,256 --> 01:27:56,589
All righty.
1281
01:27:56,798 --> 01:27:58,256
We're in business!
1282
01:28:01,547 --> 01:28:03,048
Round three!
1283
01:28:06,256 --> 01:28:08,589
Double or nothing.
1284
01:28:10,297 --> 01:28:12,964
-We have fat boy...
-I'm not fat.
1285
01:28:16,090 --> 01:28:19,173
...against the small-time performer.
1286
01:28:19,464 --> 01:28:21,839
I'm not a small-time performer...
1287
01:28:22,631 --> 01:28:24,798
-Ow! Why?
-On your marks...
1288
01:28:26,464 --> 01:28:27,631
get set...
1289
01:28:44,089 --> 01:28:45,756
rock...
1290
01:28:47,881 --> 01:28:49,798
paper...
1291
01:28:53,214 --> 01:28:55,130
blizzard!
1292
01:29:03,547 --> 01:29:04,756
Yes!
1293
01:29:04,880 --> 01:29:06,130
Yes!
1294
01:29:37,672 --> 01:29:40,089
Paper? Honestly, dude? Paper?
1295
01:29:40,255 --> 01:29:42,588
You can do whatever and you do paper?
1296
01:29:44,214 --> 01:29:45,464
Compadres!
1297
01:29:45,713 --> 01:29:47,506
Come with me if you want to live.
1298
01:29:52,255 --> 01:29:53,922
Hey! Hey!
1299
01:29:54,172 --> 01:29:56,172
They're taking off! After them!
1300
01:29:58,172 --> 01:30:00,838
I don't get it.
Did you think he'd do rock?
1301
01:30:01,005 --> 01:30:04,172
-I was under pressure!
-You could've at least done a well!
1302
01:30:04,463 --> 01:30:08,089
How about saying thanks?
I just risked my life for you!
1303
01:30:12,672 --> 01:30:14,297
Stop them!
1304
01:30:16,089 --> 01:30:17,421
Stop!
1305
01:30:17,672 --> 01:30:19,089
Liesel!
1306
01:30:19,963 --> 01:30:21,922
-Leave me behind!
-Want some?
1307
01:30:22,089 --> 01:30:23,838
-Tell Maria...
1308
01:30:24,089 --> 01:30:26,089
-I'm sorry!
-You're coming.
1309
01:30:26,380 --> 01:30:27,546
Smack time!
1310
01:30:27,797 --> 01:30:30,922
-I'll make mincemeat of you!
-Come and get some!
1311
01:30:31,922 --> 01:30:34,380
I have to warn you.
I do have a black belt.
1312
01:30:36,421 --> 01:30:39,254
I heard kangaroo burgers
taste fantastic.
1313
01:30:39,546 --> 01:30:41,047
A real delicacy.
1314
01:30:41,296 --> 01:30:43,005
Get them.
1315
01:30:44,130 --> 01:30:46,630
Look! There!
1316
01:30:48,672 --> 01:30:50,296
Chemtrails...
1317
01:30:51,380 --> 01:30:53,088
Chemtrails!
1318
01:30:54,713 --> 01:30:57,505
Chemtrails! Take cover!
1319
01:30:57,672 --> 01:30:59,588
Hey! Hey, are you bonkers?
1320
01:30:59,755 --> 01:31:01,463
Come back! Stay where you are!
1321
01:31:01,713 --> 01:31:04,171
Come back! Come back!
1322
01:31:24,797 --> 01:31:28,505
If you really look,
you see that people are, by and large,
1323
01:31:29,546 --> 01:31:31,463
stupid.
1324
01:31:34,004 --> 01:31:36,796
I think this guy is
potentially, possibly,
1325
01:31:36,921 --> 01:31:39,754
perhaps, an asshole.
1326
01:31:40,921 --> 01:31:43,129
My experience says the same.
1327
01:32:08,796 --> 01:32:11,046
All the nonsense people believe.
1328
01:32:12,505 --> 01:32:14,587
I'm finally vigilant again.
1329
01:32:31,796 --> 01:32:34,796
I just really didn't want
to have to avenge your deaths.
1330
01:32:35,671 --> 01:32:38,462
Yes, I'm getting the gaming console.
1331
01:32:39,879 --> 01:32:42,921
This is my second car.
Small, but solar-powered.
1332
01:32:43,088 --> 01:32:45,629
Built it myself. It's my hobby.
1333
01:33:03,587 --> 01:33:07,420
To be honest,
I'm pretty glad you won the bet.
1334
01:33:08,754 --> 01:33:09,921
Me too.
1335
01:33:10,088 --> 01:33:13,754
Now I can put the kangaroo in front
of the console when it annoys me.
1336
01:33:13,879 --> 01:33:15,462
-I...
-Unbelievable!
1337
01:33:15,629 --> 01:33:17,420
No ice cream sandwiches.
1338
01:33:17,587 --> 01:33:20,379
And this calls itself haute cuisine.
1339
01:33:21,295 --> 01:33:23,295
I shouldn't have brought you.
1340
01:33:23,587 --> 01:33:25,712
If anyone took anybody anywhere,
1341
01:33:25,837 --> 01:33:28,003
then it was me who took you.
1342
01:33:30,212 --> 01:33:32,420
That's all, folks.
1343
01:33:36,837 --> 01:33:38,796
Kangaroo rap two thousand...
1344
01:33:38,920 --> 01:33:40,961
-The movie's not over.
-Well...
1345
01:33:41,212 --> 01:33:44,796
From here it's just cheesy.
No one wants to see it. We can...
1346
01:33:45,003 --> 01:33:47,587
Nonsense. Everyone wants to see it.
1347
01:33:48,379 --> 01:33:50,087
All right, then...
1348
01:33:51,462 --> 01:33:53,671
Let's grit our teeth and do this.
1349
01:33:53,795 --> 01:33:57,671
We have gathered here today
in this church
1350
01:33:57,795 --> 01:34:02,003
because the two of you
wish to be wed in holy matrimony.
1351
01:34:02,170 --> 01:34:06,003
And so I ask you,
my friend Josef Seligmann,
1352
01:34:06,170 --> 01:34:11,795
do you wish to take Maria Schlabotnik
as your lawfully wedded wife?
1353
01:34:11,961 --> 01:34:13,128
I do.
1354
01:34:13,295 --> 01:34:16,045
And I ask you, Maria Schlabotnik...
1355
01:34:16,212 --> 01:34:19,379
-I didn't think it'd end like this.
-Me either.
1356
01:34:19,545 --> 01:34:24,711
...my pen pal and pilgrimage partner,
as your lawfully wedded husband?
1357
01:34:24,920 --> 01:34:26,462
I do.
1358
01:34:27,003 --> 01:34:29,504
Chin up, dude. Champagne truffle?
1359
01:34:29,670 --> 01:34:32,212
...many say marriage is merely cheesy...
1360
01:34:32,420 --> 01:34:35,878
Oh, well. Let's get out of here.
I'm allergic to frankincense.
1361
01:34:36,045 --> 01:34:37,878
Yeah, let's go home.
1362
01:34:38,544 --> 01:34:40,753
You may now kiss the bride.
1363
01:35:03,045 --> 01:35:05,836
I think the movie really is over now.
1364
01:35:06,003 --> 01:35:07,795
What makes you think that?
1365
01:35:15,586 --> 01:35:19,170
-How do we get out of here?
-How should I know?
1366
01:35:19,378 --> 01:35:22,294
But the big blue door is my best guess.
1367
01:35:30,878 --> 01:35:33,169
Huh? Where are we now?
1368
01:35:33,378 --> 01:35:34,920
No idea.
1369
01:35:37,252 --> 01:35:39,544
Excuse me, our movie is over.
1370
01:35:39,711 --> 01:35:42,836
How... do we get out of here?
1371
01:35:43,419 --> 01:35:45,586
An old horse does not forget his path.
1372
01:35:45,753 --> 01:35:48,252
God damn it!
Why is there a dog in the picture?
1373
01:35:48,461 --> 01:35:50,586
We're trying to film here!
1374
01:35:56,544 --> 01:35:59,503
Kangaroo rap 2139
1375
01:35:59,670 --> 01:36:04,711
Potentially, possibly, perhaps
1376
01:36:04,919 --> 01:36:07,378
This movie ends with this rap
1377
01:36:07,544 --> 01:36:09,753
Yet there is magic in every end
1378
01:36:09,877 --> 01:36:11,919
We drink out of the eaves
1379
01:36:12,086 --> 01:36:13,711
Our truth is disguised
1380
01:36:13,835 --> 01:36:16,002
Power to the animals
Small-time performers united
1381
01:36:16,670 --> 01:36:18,503
An offer has been made
1382
01:36:18,670 --> 01:36:20,752
-That you can accept...
-Or not!
1383
01:36:20,960 --> 01:36:25,378
We communicate with "pets"
Who formulate things we don't get
1384
01:36:25,544 --> 01:36:27,794
They talk about a world in demise
1385
01:36:28,002 --> 01:36:29,919
Something we don't seem to realize
1386
01:36:30,086 --> 01:36:32,127
We say, "It's all in your heads"
1387
01:36:32,294 --> 01:36:34,794
From thinking in bourgeois categories
1388
01:36:35,044 --> 01:36:37,586
Reality check, no time, mate
1389
01:36:37,752 --> 01:36:40,544
This is the post-factual age
1390
01:36:40,710 --> 01:36:44,710
The vengeance of the dimwits
Our feelings burst on the facts
1391
01:36:44,835 --> 01:36:49,169
We show our rainforest a PDF
And when it rains we sue the WWF
1392
01:36:49,378 --> 01:36:54,127
We're not about to change
We want to kick up a stink, not to think
1393
01:36:54,419 --> 01:36:56,710
You don't want to see it
Switch the numbers
1394
01:36:56,835 --> 01:36:59,585
Not owning the shit
Is your shtick
1395
01:36:59,794 --> 01:37:03,002
But you have to know
The signs show when it's time to go
1396
01:37:03,252 --> 01:37:05,044
And the signs are clear as day
1397
01:37:05,211 --> 01:37:08,794
The planet will survive
Humanity will fade away
1398
01:37:09,919 --> 01:37:12,502
The end is nigh!
1399
01:37:12,752 --> 01:37:17,169
One hundred thousand opinions
Only one is clear
1400
01:37:17,460 --> 01:37:21,794
Yet if we lose this planet
1401
01:37:22,044 --> 01:37:26,543
Then there's no Planet B
And nowhere we can debate
1402
01:37:31,543 --> 01:37:33,794
Deba, deba, deba, deba
1403
01:37:33,960 --> 01:37:36,543
Deba, deba, debate
1404
01:37:36,794 --> 01:37:38,543
Deba, deba, deba, deba,
1405
01:37:38,710 --> 01:37:40,752
Deba, deba, debate
1406
01:37:42,251 --> 01:37:45,877
It'd be sad, that's all
It'd just be sad, sad
1407
01:37:46,752 --> 01:37:50,002
It'd be kind of sad, or not?
1408
01:37:51,794 --> 01:37:55,710
This place is full
Of ambitionated people
1409
01:37:55,835 --> 01:37:57,835
I'm out of here
1410
01:37:58,502 --> 01:38:00,585
Gonna chill with my marsupial
1411
01:42:07,792 --> 01:42:10,249
648,363.
1412
01:42:10,958 --> 01:42:13,416
648,364.
1413
01:42:13,1000 --> 01:42:16,625
-648,3...
-That's enough, Krapotke.
1414
01:42:17,167 --> 01:42:18,667
That's enough.
1415
01:42:21,375 --> 01:42:22,667
Yes, Captain.
102805
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