Original subtitles

Cheers.

Thank you.

You see this line?

This is your lifeline.

You see how long it is?

You're going to be a hundred.

And it just goes on and on and on.

Living long is fine, but how?

How?

You will be happy.

As you see, your love line is just as long as your lifeline.

Fantastic. Means I'm going to love as long as I live.

Where does it say that?

Here. See?

You're going to meet a stranger in the most unusual and peculiar circumstances.

You mean strange peculiar or strange crazy?

Both.

I don't know if I like that.

Oh, you'll like it.

He has money.

I like it.

I see.

I see.

No, it's kind of blurred.

A strange meeting.

You said that, go on.

I see.

I... I see.

Yes? Yes?

I see water.

It's... But the image is obscured by water.

What's obscured? Me, him, the money.

No, no, it's clear. The money. The money's clear.

Where does it say that? Show me my money, Ma.

Here, right here. See? This line running down.

Where? Which one?

This one.

You see?

They all meet together.

Your lifeline, your love line, and your money line.

I'll be goddamned, they do.

They absolutely do. They all meet here in this one place.

I'll be goddamned.

Wow, what a mess.

God.

I've been at some party.

I can't seem to remember anything about last night.

Nothing.

Oh my god.

Even my tits are sagging.

Oh well.

Silicone, here I come.

It's not sagging, it's dragging.

I gotta tone up my muscles.

From now on, I'm gonna get on top.

That's where you get all the exercise.

Thanks, I needed that.

I thought he was dead.

Well, not dead anyway.

Well, who is he?

How would I know? He wasn't here when I went to bed last night. Well, I don't

know him.

Honey, he was so drunk when you came in last night, he didn't even know me.

True.

I wonder if he's the guy that took me home.

What are we going to do with him?

Well, let's get him the hell out of here.

Go ahead and get in.

Grab hold of his other arm.

Yeah.

But he's all wet.

Well, that's what water usually does.

Well, take his clothes off and throw them in the dryer.

Oh, I don't think they'll fit in the dryer.

Oh, not him. His clothes.

Grab hold of his feet.

Ah!

Turn off the damn water.

Thanks. I needed that.

Come on, let's get him out of here.

Look, he's got the shake.

Oh, he's probably cold.

Maybe this will help.

What are you doing? Will you put that thing down?

Get over there and take off his coat. I'll get his pants.

How come you always get to do the good stuff?

Because I'm older. Oh, yes, ma 'am.

You're involved with something dangerous, something strange.

It has to do with guns and money.

Who? Little old me?

Yes, I feel it. The vibration.

It's dangerous.

In this room?

Whoever you take care of yourself, don't speak to anyone.

And don't get drunk.

I don't drink.

I see it. The danger here.

How does it turn out?

You get the money.

That's a good start.

I see all this danger in you.

A tall, dark, handsome man.

I'll just grab you. Not where I'd like to grab you.

Cut it out.

I'll try over there.

Okay. Bring her over. I'll grab her, too.

Wrong. She's straight as an arrow.

Somewhere, somehow, sometime, everyone bends a little.

Not her.

Want to bet?

A hundred dollars?

Okay.

And another hundred, I'll have her in the bedroom in five minutes.

You got it.

And five minutes after that, she'll be on the bed with me.

You got another hundred.

Five minutes after that, I'll be bawling her.

That'll get you another hundred.

Then you can join us.

And that'll get you another hundred.

You're going to owe me $500 in 15 minutes.

How do I check my bed?

Open the bedroom door every five minutes.

I will.

I will.

Stop it.

What's the matter? Don't you like it?

Of course I like it. Then why stop?

It's two things.

Not for me.

Well, it is for me. I like to have a little bit of fun before I enjoy myself.

Oh, is something wrong?

Oh, excuse me. I don't know my way around.

Are you all right?

I really don't feel well. I must lie down somewhere.

Well, here, honey.

I'll help you. Let me show you the way to the bedroom. Oh, thank you. You're so

kind.

Frank, I'm taking this poor girl to the bedroom.

Just lie down for a moment.

There goes that first hundred bucks.

Oh, here, let me loosen this for you.

What started?

That man who attacked me.

What man? What happened?

He raped me. And he was a married man with a wife in the other room.

That bastard. They're all alike.

Please, could I have a glass of water?

Sure. Here.

Why don't you try to take a nap and relax and forget the whole thing? You'll

feel better. Oh, please, don't leave me alone.

I'm too frightened.

Now, now, no one's going to bother you. I'm here.

Oh, I just can't thank you enough for all your help. And I don't even know

name. Annie, now just lie down and take it easy. I'll sit here for a minute with

you. Oh, I'm so frightened.

Could I, could you please, could you just lie down next to me for a few

Oh. I don't think that would be necessary.

Please, just for a little while.

Oh, all right, but just for a moment.

You're so kind. I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you're doing for

That's all right. Just lay here and close your eyes and try to relax.

You can't believe the nerve of that man.

I just can't get over it.

Who was it?

I never did find out his name. What did he look like?

He was a big man, about 6 '2". What color hair?

Black, and he had a mustache and beard.

And he wore black flame glasses.

Did he have a red handkerchief in his breast pocket?

Yes, yes he did.

I remember that handkerchief very well.

Did you notice him?

I sure did. How come?

That son of a bitch is my husband.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I don't know what to say.

Can you ever forgive me?

Oh, please, please forgive me. I didn't know.

Just tell me exactly what did the bastard do?

Oh, forget it. It was nothing.

I made too much of it.

I insist that you tell me what he did.

As if I didn't know. I asked him to leave, but instead he locked the door.

He said he wanted to dry me off.

Then what did he do?

Oh, really, it doesn't matter. Forget it.

It matters to me.

What exactly did he do?

I said I'd get a towel, but he said he had a better way.

Yes?

Then he... Then he... Tell me, what did he do?

He said... He said he'd lick it up, like this.

He said he'd lick me dry.

His excuse was that the champagne was too good to waste.

I can assure you that son of a bitch wasn't interested in the champagne.

I pushed him away and said I was going to scream.

But he said he just had to keep me quiet. So he kissed me hard in the mouth

this.

There goes my second hug, big buck.

And while he was kissing me, he had my arm pinned.

And with his free hand, he took my dress off.

Then his hand went down here.

And before I could scream, he kissed me again.

I pulled away from him, but he grabbed me. And he pulled my head down on his

open fly.

Oh that's okay.

I've never done this without hair before.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

There goes the third hundred.

I better get my money's worth.

Oh, come on, baby, lie down.

Oh, come on.

Betty, that's not nice.

You shouldn't be doing things like that now.

Well, I'm just trying to keep him warm.

But Betty, you don't have any clothes on. How can you keep him warm?

The cover's alone.

Why don't you get in on the other side? We'll get him a heat sandwich.

Oh, we'll get you some warm.

What the hell are you doing?

You said eat him.

Not eat.

Heat. H -E.

P -A -T, like unto warm?

Oh, I get it, like a TV dinner.

First heat, then eat.

Oh.

Oh,

nice and warm.

and so gentle.

Oh, I wish I had a man, too.

I could do it with both of you.

Come on up here, baby.

You son of a bitch. You laugh. Get the hell out of here.

Call first, fight later.

Why, you low down.

It feels warm.

Might even be getting hot.

Sun warm too.

We'll be right back.

Yeah!

um um

Anybody want some more?

Not right now. Oh, maybe just a little bit.

A little rest, a little bit.

I just lost 10 pounds.

Here you are, my friend.

Thank you. You want it fair and square.

And what the hell is this all about?

None of your damn business.

And as soon as she leaves, you and I are going to have a little talk about your

lesbian tendencies.

To hell with my tendencies, you rapist!

Excuse me, folks, but I think I hear my exit line.

That was a perfect setup.

She was hungry for money, and we were hungry for her.

Let's get dressed and do it again.

Oh, hey, slow down.

I'm only flesh and blood.

Besides, that little joke cost a lot of money.

Oh, what good is money if we can't use it for our pleasure?

Right on.

And especially this money.

Oh, no, Frank.

You didn't.

Right. It was a counterfeit.

The shipment I got yesterday.

Oh, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

A counterfeit ball.

That's beautiful, baby.

Here they are. Five $100 bills.

Good.

Good.

Where's my reward?

Oh, I'll give it to you.

Personally.

Just as soon as I take care of this little job.

Don't move.

Don't move.

You'll be coming and going at the same time.

What is this all about?

You're both under arrest.

Of what?

For prostitution, lewd conduct, immoral acts. And the one I like best is passing

counterfeit money.

You're crazy.

You got no witness, do you?

What do I look like? Finished?

It's a frame. It's a frame.

See your identification.

Frank!

You bastard! You can't do that!

Now wait till you see the surprise that we've got next for you.

Let that be a lesson to you. Don't jump into any more showers with your clothes

on unless you can be drip -dried.

It was worth it.

Everything I had when I came in is now smaller.

I like small things.

Thanks. I needed that.

Next time you come, why don't you try using the street door instead of the

shower? Yeah, right on.

Thank you.

How come you didn't get away?

He'll be back.

Excuse me, I think I left my wallet here.

You did, and I found it. Thanks. May I have it?

Remember what you said before you left?

Everything I had when I came in is now smaller?

Yes, but I was joking.

How's this for a joke?

It shrank.

Just like your suit.

Wait a minute. What about the money?

Just like your suit.

Well, now we know how the American Donald had shrunk.

Herbert, I'm really sorry everything on you shrunk.

Well, to hell with it.

Let's see if we can make things stretch again.

Well, why not? Take off your little coat and your little pants and your weird

shirt and pull at you a little quick.

I'm just trying to get a shoe off. Thanks, I needed that.

You're welcome.

Here, Margie, your turn. Maybe you'll have better luck.

Anything exciting?

Nothing big. Everything turned out rather small.

Everyone expects everything big.

I don't. Take my hand.

I see.

You see this line? This is what I call a danger line.

Danger? From what?

Not from what. From who?

I see a dark, mysterious stranger.

I see airplanes, a mission, a dangerous mission.

I haven't been on a dangerous mission since I went to unemployment.

You are in danger.

You are a courier.

You imagine yourself as a female James Bond.

Me? James Bond?

Never. I'm really not the type.

You are in danger.

It's subconsciously you always thought of yourself as a female James Bond.

Your hands say so.

Welcome back. You're just in time.

Okay, so much for the social amenities.

Where is it?

Where's the diamond?

Find it.

Look, don't you play games with me.

But think of all the fun we can have.

Once more and once more only.

Where is it?

Find it.

Okay.

Okay, if that's the way you want it.

Chinese theater.

All right, take off your coat.

You do it.

Lady, you're starting to try my patience. Now you take off that coat.

Where is it?

All right, where is it?

Find it.

Geez, a little tenderness will go a long way.

Well, I'm sorry my hands are so rough.

Your mouth is softer.

Anything to oblige.

All right, where is it?

Behind it. Okay.

Take off the drip.

Aren't you afraid of causing an accident?

Lady, the only accident you've got to worry about is whether or not this gun

goes off. Now, you take that dress off!

All right.

You going to tell me where it is, or do I have to find it myself?

Find it yourself.

All right, if you insist.

But not with your fingers, please.

All right.

I'll do you one better.

No, I don't feel anything.

I do.

Keep it up.

No, there's nothing in there.

Don't be so modest. I feel something.

You're not looking for anything.

That's what you think.

Swift! There's nothing in there I don't feel a thing.

I do.

Keep it up.

Now listen, dammit. If I don't find it, I'm going to tear you inside out.

Oh, marvelous.

Do it.

Do it.

What would you like to do when the party is over? Have a party.

Oh, can't we go someplace?

Sure, let's go home and go to bed.

Does there always have to be the bed?

Somehow it just seems to lend itself to what I have in mind.

Listen, weekend comes up.

Why don't we go somewhere?

Okay, as long as there's a bed nearby.

We could go on a boat, fly a plane.

Ride a horse?

I've never done it on a horse before.

Can't you think anything else?

Sure. I've never done it on a boat either.

Oh, you're impossible.

As a matter of fact, I've never even done it on a plane.

We have no boat, no horse, and no plane.

We're back where we started from.

That is what?

We own a bed.

I hope I'm not presuming, but would you mind?

Well, I'm a little tired, but I guess I can handle one more. Oh, thank you.

I see that you have a long life, and it's strong.

There's outdoors.

There's sort of a park or a stranger

that you're going to meet.

I always ride my bicycle in the park.

I see.

An accident.

An accident?

Uh -uh. No more bike riding.

No, no, no. It's not an accident. It's just that, well, there's money.

That's always worth looking into.

No.

It always happens.

Are you okay?

No, I'm not, all right? Look at my knee.

It's my fault. What a mess. I admit it. It's my fault. Oh, God.

Listen, what can I say? I admit it. I'm sorry. It's my fault.

No, I don't need your help.

I didn't do it.

Help.

Are you okay?

No. I'm going to get the bike up for you.

Thanks a lot. Just let me have my bike, please. I'm sorry.

Oh, great.

The wheel's stuck. It's broken.

Now what am I going to do? How am I going to get home?

Listen, let me get the bike repaired for you. My car's right over here.

We'll take it. You better pay for it. Of course.

All right.

Okay?

This is my car right here.

Now how would you like me to dash up your car?

I wouldn't. I really wouldn't.

Again, I apologize.

Take your bike over and get it repaired, okay?

Be careful. Don't ruin it anymore.

Listen, I'm really sorry.

Again, I can't say how sorry I am about that whole thing. Well, you ought to be.

Oh, what a mess.

At least let me take you home and get it fixed up. Oh, come on.

That's all I need.

Why don't we go over to my place and I can... Oh, come on. I don't need a line

after this.

Well, at least let me buy you lunch. Fine. Take me to the bus to our bike

and... I can take a cab or something.

No, I insist that I at least buy you some lunch. How's that?

Come on now, don't be like that.

Come on. I'll fix you one of my specialties.

I'm a gourmet, you know that.

What's for lunch?

I don't know.

Now, here's the way it is.

I can arrest both of you for passing counterfeit money, resisting arrest,

attacking an officer, and practicing prostitution.

But I will drop all charges as long as you give this young lady here the money,

the real money that she won on that bet.

300?

That's all?

Aw, come on, you can do better than that. Here, let me help you.

One, two, three, four, five... 2 ,000.

And, uh, these are the real ones, right?

Right.

Here, April.

Only 100?

But that's only 50.

See, I'm sorry.

It's the smallest I got. And this guy only carries big bills.

Yeah, but you said I was going to get lit.

I'll hold on to this.

Evidence.

You sure got a sweet ass.

It's called access.

You son of a bitch. I want the money.

All of it.

Now get out.

Very slowly.

No cheap punk is going to double -cross me. Oh, hey.

Hey, come on. I was only kidding. It was a joke.

You're going to get paid off.

I always get paid off.

In real money, too.

And so will you.

Now, please.

Please, you know me. It was a joke.

I'm laughing. Hey, Gunther, he was only joking. So why ain't you laughing?

That's the end of the joke.

I don't know what you did, but that was sure some dream.

I didn't do anything.

I just suggested it. And let your own fantasies take over.

You madman! You killed him!

You had it coming.

Now, where's the diamond?

Here. Take it and go.

Not until I get my share of what I saw in the rearview mirror.

Not here in front of the Chinese theater.

You didn't object doing it with him.

I had no choice.

You ain't got no choice with me either.

Oh, that was some kind of trip.

Where did I lose you?

Somewhere at the airport.

I can't figure out how I ended up at the theater.

Hmm. What was playing there?

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

That's a song.

True. And you know, I believe it.

Your robe is on the towel rack.

Thank you.

How'd you like the shower?

Fantastic. Felt so good.

Wow, this is interesting.

Well, I don't know if this thing can do with the... No, really.

This is where I do my editing on the film editor.

Hmm. What's this? I've never seen one. Oh, this is called a movie oil. This is

where we do the editing of the film.

Looks complex.

Listen, why don't you sit down and I'll show you how it works.

Okay. Okay?

Looks like a car or something. Oh, my gosh.

Channels and all.

Gadgets?

This is the soundtrack.

Listen to the film.

What we do is sync the vocals together.

Sync? Yeah, that's where we put the soundtrack with the film. We match it

The screen's awfully small. How can you tell what it's really like?

I have a film inside the projection room. Why don't we take a look at that

Okay. Is it a regular movie?

Of course.

What's it about?

Look.

What else is there? Right on.

I'll be right in. I'm putting the projector on automatic.

I kinda hope you're gonna like this.

You're late.

I'm sorry, the rehearsal ran late.

Oh, it's one of those kind of films.

Love?

Right on.

She's pretty.

Not as pretty as you.

If I'd known you then, you would have been in there.

I'm not an actress.

I'll be the judge of that.

Are you acting now?

I told you I can't act.

Wait a minute. What about the piano player?

Oh, don't worry about him. Let him get his own girl.

No.

Listen, he plays for me all the time.

Don't worry about him.

Okay.

No, really.

The piano player makes me nervous.

Well, come on over.

Look, I'll introduce you to him. Okay.

And this is, uh,

what's his name, the piano player.

Hi.

Pianos always fascinate me. I have a fantasy about him.

Very sensuous.

The piano is going to play the penny.

The f -

Thank you.

Fantastic.

What was that all about?

I just got a musical education.

I'll dance with you.

96B, take 3, 41.

What are you doing?

Have I got from one boob to the other? Alec?

Do I have from one boob to the other?

Okay.

I can't believe it. I forgot.

Don't break up. We're rolling. Keep going.

I'm not going to do another sex scene, Harry.

What's your problem?

I'm going to bite it.

I take it all back.

Let's work out a triangle here.