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I know. I know.
I know. Yeah. Hello, Miss James.
I know.
I can't even believe it.
Okay, but let me call you back because I'm at my son's school.
I know. I know. Hopefully it'll be quick, like five minutes or something,
Mm -hmm.
Okay.
Very nice to meet you. Hello.
James, yes.
Uh, so?
No smoking in the building.
What is this?
Oh, what are you...
Sorry, I don't know. You're breaking rules, left, right, and center.
You didn't even knock on my door.
Wow.
Wow. Now I can see where your son gets it from.
Well, listen, you gotta do what you gotta do, right? So, tell me, what's
on?
So, are you aware of the situation which happened today on the school grounds?
What situation?
Okay, so, as always... Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
I've got to get this coupon really quick before it expires.
I'm dying to get these shoes.
This is a very serious situation.
Do you know how much this percent, 20 % off, okay? I just cannot believe the
audacity of you just walking in here like this with this attitude.
Shipping. Excuse me. Yes, thanks. Okay, okay, okay. Thank you.
Jeez. Okay, listen. Now, as always, Junior has been breaking the rules.
And today, I mean, two felonies.
What? Slow down, slow down. What are we talking about? So, you know, bringing in
alcohol on campus and then selling the alcohol to underage minors is
very and highly illegal.
Wait, what?
Today, today.
Today? Yeah, today on the school premises, your boy.
As always, breaking the rules. Uh -huh, I see. You know, just coming in, make it
thinking he owns the place. Oh. Which he does not.
I'm the headmaster here.
Are you?
So. So anyways.
The cigarette is still burning. Oh, I know. Please cut that out. This is a
one. They do that on purpose because you know how they go out when the wind
blows and stuff? So they made it extra concentrated so it stays lit. It's the
best. I love this brand. What is it called?
I do.
I recognize you for some reason.
From walking up 441, probably?
I've seen you, I think. Yeah, 441. I walk there every day.
Back and forth, back and forth.
No, it's not that.
It's not that.
It's not?
No. Well, then I don't know where else he could have seen me, because that's
pretty much what I do. So, you're telling me Junior took the alcohol.
That son of a bitch. Yes, and not only did he just...
bring the alcohol on campus, but he's selling.
How much money did he make?
Where's the money at?
Regardless of how much money he made, it's been confiscated and it will be
Well, you're going to have to call his dad for that because I don't handle
He's a guy.
I'm a girl. I deal with the daughters. I deal with them having to be like, hold
on, hold the legs, beep, beep.
But junior, that's my husband's department. You're going to have to call
So, obviously we've had to suspend Junior for his actions. Oh boy, so does
mean he's going to have to stay home?
Yeah, he's going to have to stay home for the next week or so. Until we
come to a decision of what we're going to have to do with him. I see, I see.
Well, let me text his father and see what we can do about that because he
stay at my house. I've got shit I've got to do, you know what I mean?
You know, Miss Best, I...
I seem to recognize you from the shoplifter.
You were on that shoplifter.
What?
What are you talking about? You've seen me. On that shoplifter.
That was supposed to be private. That's what that fucking officer... So, okay.
No, no, no. I saw you and you was definitely on there. You've got sticky
fingers. I think you're mistaking me. No, no. You've got sticky fingers. No, I
don't.
Ah, again, now I know why, Junior.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?
Okay, so now tell me. You recognize me? Now what?
Now that I recognize you, Miss Danes, I mean, we're going to have to definitely
kind of reenact what I saw on
that show.
Oh, really?
With you being so promiscuous.
What does that? Oh, promiscuous. I had to do that. What are you talking about?
I mean, it looked to me like you had a lot of fun. No, he sucked. I didn't like
that. Oh, you didn't, huh? No.
Well, you know, if you want Junior to stay in the school now, you know,
now I know who you are and I recognize you. I mean, why not?
use this shit to my advantage, right?
You know, if you want your son to stay at this prestigious school, I mean, I
guess, you know.
So lay it on me. What do I have to do?
What do I have to do?
Well, Miss James, I mean, you just have to look after, look after me and I'll
look after Junior.
You know.
It's as simple as that, really. I mean, no, no, no, yeah, don't get too
comfortable. I mean, it's just, you know, if I... Oh, God, here we go again.
...was to say, have a fumble in the jungle, would you say no to that?
So you're telling me if I fuck you, my kid can stay in school?
Exactly that. If you fuck me and look after my needs and, yeah,
you're... son can stay in the school. Where the fuck do I find you
motherfuckers? Where do I shop? Where do I live that all you gotta do is give
sex and you can get out of shit?
You live in the best part of town. That's where you live, Miss James. Well,
guess what?
It is what it is.
Junior's not staying at my house, so get that fucking dick out, I guess. Oh,
okay. Fucking pervert -ass principal.
Well, at least it's big.
It's a fair size.
So, it's a deal?
It's a deal, yes. Why don't you get on your knees?
Get on your knees for me.
Do you want me to get on my knees?
I'm not in school. You don't have to tell me what to do.
No? Yeah. Get on your knees for me.
Why don't I get a little bit more comfortable?
Oh, why don't you?
Mm -hmm. While you're at it.
Yeah.
In your fucking element.
Mm -hmm.
Right? Anything we do for our kids.
I mean, if this is the only way.
That doesn't hurt you?
oh my god oh i know all about this
little thing uh -huh yep
You're going to videotape me and you're going to put it all over the internet,
aren't you? No.
Yes, you are.
Don't worry, it's just for my own personal collection.
What that other guy said.
Making deals with the devil.
I got enough of those toe rings, so it's fine. It was buy one get one.
That's the best.
Oh my god, Lady in Red.
You are a delici -tating pussy.
Thank you. I must say, Miss Dames. Thank you. Your attitude and behavior is
disgusting, but you're a pussy.
Well,
you know.
Trailer Park's finest over here.
Can you try a little pussy? Oh, yeah.
Why not?
Yeah? Yeah, why not? I think it's time to fill in that tiny little hole.
You're the boss.
Let's give that pussy a round of applause.
this formula.
You are such a fucking amazing mom.
Oh, thank you. Such a good mom you are.
How is Junior going to handle this, eh?
Well, I don't know, because I'm going to definitely kick his ass when we get
home. I think you should call him right now and tell him. Tell him right now
what we're doing. Tell him? Yeah. Tell him what we're doing? Yeah, tell him.
don't you give him a call and say hi to Junior from me?
Um, that's not very appropriate, Principal Mountain, is it?
I'm going to have to.
He deserves a call.
Hey.
Well, actually, not hey.
I got some bad news.
Uh -huh.
Yeah. What were you doing at the game?
Were you selling beers?
Yeah. And to other students.
Younger ones.
Well, guess what?
I got a call from your principal, and luckily I'm here handling things.
When I get home, I swear to fucking God, your ass is mine. You hear me?
Uh -huh. Oh, yeah. You better go to your fucking dad's house.
Brilliant. Is that what you wanted?
Brilliant. You fucking pervert of a goofball.
Do you want me to help you?
I'm gonna fuck you until I cum all over your face.
Mmm.
out of trouble right yeah just like we said junior is in the all clear for now
but you might be back here very soon
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