All language subtitles for Stumble.S01E03.1080p.x265-ELiTE_track3_[eng]

.

- It's back to school
at Headltston Junior College,

and I got my very own office.

It's also used as a dressing
room for the theater kids.

Watch this.

I'm little orphan Annie.

[laughs]
Oh, we have fun.

So back to school means
the start of football season.

And we have our
very first game on Saturday.

Now, with 26 weeks
to go until Daytona,

these games are a great
way for my cheerleaders

to get out there,
strut their stuff,

practice, and not for nothing.

But for the first time
in Headltston Junior College

history, we have a cheer team,
unless you count last year,

which was technically
more of a one-woman show.

- When I say Headl,
you say, what?

Headl.
- What?

[drums beating]

- What?

- I'm just gonna draw
a little football and--

why not--
a little Charlie Brown.

He's always so worried.
[chuckles]

I'll give him
a little swirl of hair.

See how he feels about that.

Oh.

No.

You can see why
they made him bald.

- Stella!

- [whispering]
They're also rehearsing

"A Streetcar Named Desire."

[normally] I don't know
why I'm whispering.

- Would you mind
keeping it down?

If we can hear you backstage,
we can hear you onstage.

[whispering]
So yeah.

[upbeat music]

- * OK, let's go *

* OK, let's go *
- * OK *

* Let's go, 5, 6, 7, 8 *

- Being a cheer coach
is more than just cheer.

OK, I'm looking
at your schedule,

and all I see
is Intro to Typing.

And what is Me Time?

- It is my elective.

And we're cutting
into it right now.

- DiMarcus, you need
to get serious, honey, OK?

Now, committing to cheer, that
means committing to the school.

And that means
declaring a major.

- Why?

At Sammy Davis Sr.
Junior College,

I didn't have to have a major.

I didn't even have
to go to class.

The football team
was hooked up.

- You know, a lot of these kids
aren't used to doing things

for themselves,
or they don't have

the kind of support or
resources that they would need.

So I make it a part
of my job as a mama bear

to make sure
they are set up for success

on and off the mat.

Some of them hadn't even lived
in a school environment before.

Peaches,
I must say I'm impressed.

This is looking like
a real dorm room.

You even got
a little shower caddy.

[chuckles]
Who is Phil?

Peaches, don't you think
he might wonder

where his medicated shampoo
and conditioner duo is?

- Mm-mm-mm.

- You need to think
about taking things.

Rachel, Joey K.
Oh, no.

Andy, Julie, faculty.

- That was here
when I got here.

- Peaches.

- This place is like the mall.

You could just take
whatever you want.

[chuckles]

[glasses clinking]

Yeah, that's next.

- Is anything in here yours?

- Yeah.

This is how I got
Phil's shampoo.

- [gasps]

[brass knuckles tapping]

OK, hand them over.

Some of them need help
juggling things.

OK, do you have
everything you need

for your Pet Detection class?

- Ooh, check.

- OK.
- Oh, wait.

- OK.

All right,
what about American History?

- Yes,
just give me one moment.

Sorry.

Voilà, mademoiselle.

- S--are those all
parking tickets?

- Guilty, yeah.

I keep oversleeping
and then forgetting

to move my car
for street cleaning.

Then I forget to pay them.
- Mm-hmm.

- Candy Button brain.

- Ooh, sometimes I just want
to scoop that girl up in my lap

and sing her spirituals.

All right, honey, now, listen.

You're about to have
a lot on your plate.

- Please be fajitas.

- Sally, I can't have you
missing cheer practice

'cause of parking violations,
all right?

We already got a big
old boot on Krystal.

We don't also need one
on your car.

- Yes, ma'am.
- All right?

Let's go ahead and get those
paid for, yeah?

And let's pick up the required
reading for class.

- Oh, but this is
the required reading.

It was written by my professor.

He was one of the actors
on "the moon."

- Jesus, take a knee.

[upbeat music]

So now that my kids are
taken care of school-wise,

we can get back
to focusing on cheer

and our first football game
on Saturday.

They must be pumped.
I am pumped.

I can feel the excitement
coming through the door.

[all groaning]

- Oh, brother.

On a cheer team, the girls
always sync up their periods.

And it's actually--
it's a good thing.

It's a way women bond.

- I said stop breathing.

And I still hear breathing
back there.

- If I had my knuckles,
I'd [bleep] you up.

- It started way back
in biblical times,

before there was book club.

And without fail,
the boys on the team

act like they have never seen
a woman on her period before.

* *

- Lemon-lime for you.

Blue razz for you.

There you go.
- [whispering] My own water.

[normally] Thank you.

- Where did you get this?

- I keep a box in my locker
for you ladies

when it's that time
of the month.

I grew up
with four older sisters.

- Now, the girls on the team
usually sync up with the coach.

It's like a hierarchical thing.

Like how baby dolphins
will match

their breathing speed
to their mothers.

Boon and I watched a lot
of nature documentaries

when he was relearning
his animals.

But this year, I guess I'm
gonna be syncing up with them.

That's a strong bunch.

I just--I always
get a telltale pimple

right here right before.

I'm probably gonna
get it tonight.

I never miss it,
no matter how inconvenient.

I had a period pimple
at prom,

a period pimple
on cheer portrait day.

I even had this period pimple
on our wedding day.

You know what?
[clears throat]

Let's draw her on the board.
Let's track her.

There she is.

Actually, I'm gonna make her
bigger, 'cause, ooh, she big.

I'm gonna give her
some horns--

ooh, she angry--
and a tail,

because she's
from the underworld.

* *

[door clicks shut]
Boon?

Ooh, plumber's here.

- Oh.

Thank you. Look what came.
- [whispering] Sorry.

- It's my new HD TV
with Blu-ray player.

Ain't she pretty?
- Yeah.

- And it's a write-off
'cause it's for football.

But I think we can watch
other stuff on it too.

- Mm.

- How was your day?

- It was fine,
but I wanted to ask you--

listen.
- Mwah.

- I wanted to ask you
if you remember--

can you guys just give us
some privacy just for--

just for a second?

Thank you.

- What's going on?

- Do you remember when's
the last time that we had sex

but, like, full-out?

- It was your birthday,
9:54 p.m.

It was unseasonably warm.

Humidity, about 71%.

Wind was coming out
of the east, 18 knots.

- OK.

- At least, I think?

I'm pretty sure
they have it on tape.

Don't let the door kiss you.

'Cause I'm gonna go kiss her.

.

- Well, my pimple
is officially late,

and I can't be pregnant
at Daytona.

Lord, if I had a nickel
for every time I heard that.

It's not that I don't
want a baby.

I do.

I just--and you may not
believe me

'cause I'm a little long in
the tooth and I live in Texas

and women my age are on their
great-grandbabies by now,

but just something about me is,
if I'm gonna do something,

I'm not gonna do it halfway.

So I refuse to have half a baby
when I'm at my new school

focused on my new team.

Lord, deliver unto me
a giant zit, amen.

Whoo!

I'm getting excited
for this big game on Saturday.

Madonna!
Oh, you're right there.

What's our fight song?

- Mine is anything by GloRilla.

- I'm not talking about
a real fight, Peaches.

I'm talking about, like, a
fight song for a football game.

- We don't have one.

- What do you do when somebody
scores a touchdown?

- I think I'm usually
asleep by then.

- OK.

I am getting a little headache,

which always precedes
my pimple.

But it also pro-cedes any time
I spend with the team.

So I don't really know
what's going on.

- Apologies for being late.

[laughs]
Funny story.

There was a "potent orange
leak" at the button factory.

Yeah, I did not have
my gloves, so it did get

on my skin, which is no bueno.

- Mm.

- Kind of hurts, actually.

Anyways, locked myself
out of my car,

which is where my shower stuff
is, so I showered here.

It's OK to be near me now
unless you're on antibiotics.

[whispering]
That would be terrible.

- OK, go warm up, Sally.

And don't touch anybody.

- [normally] Of course.
- All right.

- Totally.

[whispering]
Sorry. DiMarcus.

- Day two?

I'm out.
I'll be right back.

- OK.
- Don't sneeze.

- Don't sneeze.

Don't sneeze.

- Other way, hon.

- [normally] Whoo! Yup.

I got it.

- Yeah.
- It's in there now.

- OK.

- Go long.

- Oh! Oh!

- Yo, my bad.

- No worries, man.

- Hey, what the hell are those?

- Variety of tampons based
on days and levels of flow

so women don't have to worry

about their periods
slowing them down.

Duh.
[laughs]

- Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

Let me let y'all go.
It's late.

Yeah, you probably wanna
go home and get some sleep.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Babe.

My pimple's late.

- Oh.

Huh.

You sure it's not
brewing under there?

- No.

- Mm.

Well?
- [scoffs]

I cannot be pregnant
right now, Boon.

That baby would be a Leo.

They're so dramatic.

I'm not trying to have
a dramatic person

living in this house.

- I think we should all
take a breath and calm down.

- See, now, if you would have
told me to calm down

and I was on my pimple,

I would have
ripped your head clean off.

- Well, baby, I am sure
you are not pregnant.

I mean, I'm not totally sure.

You see, after my injury...

[tuba blares, crowd gasps]

- [grunts]

- I had an unintentional
vasectomy.

[dog growling]

[crowd gasps]

But luckily,
they were able to reverse it

through a 12-hour
experimental surgery.

In fact--where is she?

Here we go.

They let me keep
the video of the surgery.

And they also let me keep
my testicle in a jar,

but Courteney said I had
to throw that out.

Here, follow me.
Y'all are in for a treat.

Thanks to my brand-spankin'-new
HD TV,

we can watch the surgery
together in high-definition.

And there it is.

Touchdown.

Gosh, you can see every vein.

All right, now,
you see this sort of

spaghetti straw right there?

That's my urethra.

- I know you want a Boon Jr.

- Oh.
- And I do too.

Just not now, you know?

And not that name
and not a Leo.

- I agree.

It is not the right time.

We are both far too busy.

And I think there's still
a lot of time on the clock

left for this pimple.

So why don't we order
a greasy pizza?

'Cause that's gonna bring
that sucker right out.

Hmm?
- That's a good plan, Coach.

- Yes.
- OK.

- Mwah.
- Meat lovers?

- Yes, please.
- Do y'all want some too?

I know you do.

- Would I love
a baby Boon Jr.?

Course I would.

But I know better
than to get ahead of myself.

* *

.

- All right.

We got spirit. Yes, we do.

We got spirit. How about you?

- My cramps hurt more
than when I was punched

in the stomach with a brick.

- OK, honey.

But you know what'll
make you feel better

is when you get the spirit.

Yeah, yeah, you get the spirit.
- [groans]

- Yes, you will.

Sally, you know.
They know. [laughs]

- Hey, DiMarcus!

- Hey, hon.
Is that for me?

Thank you, DiMarcus.

[gasps]
Snacks!

Is that Fig Newton?

DiMarcus.

This--this is
a pregnancy test.

- Well, you didn't sync up.

When one of my sisters
didn't sync up,

I became an uncle, so...

- OK, this is
highly inappropriate.

You need to be
focusing on cheer

and finding something
you want to major in, OK,

not me or my pimple,
which you know nothing about.

- I am sorry.

I'll just go ahead
and take that back.

- Well, it's mine now.

Go on. Join your team.
Mind your Ps and Qs.

- You got it, Coach.

- Well,
I might as well keep it.

He already spent money on it.

Plus,
they are so fun to pee on.

You know, it's like
a little game. [chuckles]

I'm gonna win.

- Motrin for you,
regular for you.

Let's go, Buttons!

Whoo!
- Ha!

No way!

Tampon guy's a cheerleader?

[laughter]

- Yo, that makes so much sense.

Later, Daisy.

[laughter]

- [bleep].

- Here we go, Buttons!
Here we go!

- I come from a long line
of big-bladdered women.

My ancestors, they had to
travel over 400 miles on foot

and hold their pee before
stopping in Wichita Flats

to use the restroom
and then settling there.

So then all their descendants
were born with large bladders

in case it happened again.

And it does
come in handy, you know,

like when you go to the movies
and want to get you a Big Gulp.

But times like this,
it really screws me.

- Don't mess with the best!
Let's go!

[together]
B-U-T-T-O-N-S.

Roll, Buttons! Roll!

Don't mess with the best!

- Let's go!

[together]
B-U-T-T-O-N-S.

Roll, Buttons! Roll!

Don't mess with the best!
- Hey!

[together]
B-U-T-T-O-N-S.

- DiMarcus.
[together] Roll, Buttons! Roll!

Don't mess with the best!

- Just pretend you're thirsty.

I can tell you feel weird

in front of these
football players.

I just want you to know,
it happens to all

my male cheerleaders at first.

- I just think you don't
understand DiMarcus.

- I think I do.

And there's no "DiMarcus"
in "self-conscious."

- It do sound
like a little bit.

Let me hear you say it
one more time.

- DiMarcus,
you are the best athlete

on this whole entire field.

Now, go on out there
and show them how it's done.

[inspirational music]

- Yup.

* *

[laughter]

Nope.

- DiMarcus, you're just
gonna stand here

and take that crap
from these "bah-zos"?

- I think it's pronounced
"bozos."

- No, the Bahzos are a family
of baby bitches in my town.

And that's what you're being.

- I really respect
and appreciate your input.

- I'm not on my period anymore.

- Then why are you
giving me crap?

- Because you're being
a big old weenie!

- Do not call me a weenie.

My four sisters
and my two-year-old niece

call me a weenie.

And I don't like it.

- OK, well, if you're not
being a weenie,

why don't you go over there,

pick up Zizi
by her cute little booty,

and show these guys what
a real [bleep] cheerleader is?

- OK.

I feel you.

[exhales sharply]

- Boys.

[whistle blows]

[crowd shouting]

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

* *

- Ahh!

Let's go!

* *

[cheers and applause]

- Whoo! OK!

- Whoo!

- Let's go, Buttons!

- Yeah!

- Ha!

- [laughs]

- Whoo!

[both growl]

[cheers and applause]

* *

- [grunting]

[whistle blows]

- That's just good coaching.

- * Let the beat go bang *

- Whoo!

- What's up, baby?
Let's go!

That's right!
It's me, DiMarcus!

Ah-ha!

- Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Whoo!
- Yeah!

- Go, boy!
Let's go, boy!

* *

all: [chanting]
DiMarcus! DiMarcus! DiMarcus!

DiMarcus! DiMarcus! DiMarcus!

DiMarcus! DiMarcus!

[cheers and applause]

[whistle blows]

[knocking]

- [sighs]

Actually, can y'all
give me a little space?

This is a private
delicate lady thing.

[pounding on door]

I swear to Jesus, if you
don't come out of there,

I'm gonna reach in and snatch
your bald-headed--

[banging on door]

- Excuse me.
- Oh, I don't know where...

- Excuse me.
- That angry woman went.

I--she was really on one.

And I don't know
what was wrong with her,

but my meemaw
was my favorite person.

And I just got here.

What in heaven's gate?

Sally, why are you doing
laundry on your car, hon?

- Yes, of course.

Because it also happens
to be my house.

* *

.

- Does anybody else
know about this or...

- Peaches.
Yeah.

But it's only because
she stole it once.

- Right. OK.

- Yeah, no, I had no idea
it was Sally's house.

But that explains
why there was a coffeepot

and all these photos of Sally.

I just thought
there was a serial killer

and maybe she was next.

I probably should have--

I should have told her.

- Oh, sorry.

Those go in the closet, silly.

- Oh.
- Pardon my reach.

- I was so caught up
with myself

and missing my pimple
that I missed all the signs.

Are these all parking tickets?
- Yeah.

I keep oversleeping
and then forgetting

to move my car
for street cleaning.

- Mm-hmm.

- Anyways,
locked myself out of my car,

which is where my shower stuff
is, so I showered here.

- Mm.

[quirky music]

Mm.

They were right there.

Mm.

- Crazy.

- Sally, are you
cooking in your car?

That is very dangerous.

- No, I just have to remember
to keep the windows open.

[bluesy guitar music]

- Some kids need more
than a coach.

They need a mama bear
to give them direction.

All right.

Got your pencils sharpened?

- Nobody uses pencils anymore.

- OK.

Just so you know,
there is nothing

more masculine than knowing
what a woman needs.

- Thank you, Coach.

- [whispering] Get on with it.

- Hello, students.

Welcome to Women's Studies 101.

Our first lesson,
why women be crazy?

Anyone?

- And sometimes
they need a home.

* *

- Mm.

[door clicks open]

- Hey.
How'd it go?

- I finally got her down.
- Mm.

I just read the back of a box
of Stove Top Stuffing to her.

She was out like a light.
- Mm.

- What?

- You got your pimple.

- Oh. [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.

- There she is.

- [chuckles] Right?
- Yeah.

- After all that worrying
for nothing?

- What a relief.

- Mm.

[chuckles]
Are you OK?

- Me?
Yeah, no, I'm ecstatic.

- Hey, I thought
this is what you wanted.

- I don't know
what I want, Boon, OK?

It's like, it's complicated
being a woman.

[sobs]
- Yeah, there's that pimple.

- Did you know
Sandy Bullock is a Leo?

She's a Leo.

And she saved all those people
from exploding on that bus.

And I think she was a hero.

And I think that Courteney Jr.
could have also been a hero.

- Mm-hmm.
I'm sure she would have been.

Although I don't think
you can do Junior with a girl.

- I can do whatever I want.

Who's gonna stop me? You?
- No.

I'm just a dumb man who says
bad things at the wrong time.

- Baby, I'm sorry.
- No.

I'd like to withdraw
my former statement.

- I don't know
what's gotten into me, Boon.

- Mm.
- [sighs]

- Get in here. Mm.

- I don't even know
why I'm so upset.

- Mm.

- I don't even know what kind
of mother I'd be anyway.

I didn't even know Sally
was living in her car.

- Excuse me.

Ms. Courteney Potter,
you are going to be

a wonderful mother.

You basically already are.

- [scoffs]
- You are.

And in the meantime,
instead of the pitter-patter

of little feet,
we're just gonna have to enjoy

the pitter-patter
of Sally's size 10 feet.

[both laugh]

Mm.
[smooches]

- Are you sad, Boon?

- [sighs]
No.

'Cause I know we'll have one
when the time is right, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, should we go
check in on her?

- Yeah, I would like that.

- Yeah, me too.
Me too, OK?

- [sighs]

- [snoring]

- [whispering]
Just look at her,

cute as a speckled pup.

[gentle music]

No, she likes to sleep
sitting up.

Yeah.

[knocking]

[forcefully]
Move it along, lady!

- [snoring]

- [whispering]
I told her I would do that

a couple of times at night.

It makes her feel at home.

- That's what
a good mama would do.

* *

- Let's let her sleep.

* *

- Why women be shopping?

Why women be yappin'?

Why women be taking so long
in the bathroom?

Anyone other than DiMarcus?

- [whistling]