All language subtitles for Shameless.S03E08.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-iJP.SDH

[music playing]

Now nobody is
saying that Chatsworth

Estate is the Garden of Eden.

But it's been a good home to us,
to me, Frank Gallagher, and me

kids, who I'm proud of, because
every single one of them

reminds me a little of me.

They can All think
for themselves, which

they've got me to thank for.

Quick!

Leg it!

Lip, who's a bit of a
gobshite, which is why nobody

calls him Phillip anymore.

Ian, a lot like his mom, which
is handy for the little ones,

because she's disappeared
into thin air.

And Carl.

We didn't let him grow
his hair for two reasons.

One, it makes it stand on end
and makes him look like Toyah.

Two, nits love him.

[screams]

Debbie, sent by
God, total angel.

You have to check your change,
but she'll go miles out

of her way to do you a favor.

Plus little Liam, he's
going to be a star some day.

Sheila, me bird.

Couldn't be happier.

One plate short of
a full set, like.

And fantastic neighbors,
Kev and Veronica.

Lend you anything.

Well, almost anything.

Carol and Marty, the
lodgers from hell.

Last of the lonely hearts, and
a psychologist's wet dream.

Still, nobody's perfect.

But all of them to a man
know first and foremost one

of the most vital
necessities in life

is, they know to throw a party!

[laughs] Scatter!

[cheering]

Me first stag night, the
barman tells me a joke.

Kid goes to his dad.

Said he's heard that
in some countries,

a man doesn't even know his
wife until he marries her.

His dad tells him, that happens
in every fucking country, son.

I mean, it's true isn't it?

I mean, if I had known Monica
was going to be a lezzer,

I'd have never of
married her, would I?

Well, yeah, probably.

I mean, I just thought I
was in with a, you know,

flesh sandwich.

But the point I'm making is
you just don't know, Do you?

You know, spin
the fucking wheel.

So that's the point of
a stag do, isn't it?

Because like the chief Roman
said, veni, vidi, vodka.

Numb me fucking senses, boys.

I'm coming in.

Whoa!

Not fucking Marty!

Oh!

[cheering]

[music playing]

All right.

Oh, that's lovely.

Out of the way, mate.

No, Sheila.

Tell me is not Ground Force.

It's for the
conservatory, Frank.

And we're going to have frosty
glass and blackout lights when

I get a bit insidey outsidey.

Hello?

The garden's only 10 feet two.

What the fuck do we
need a conservatory for?

The wedding.

You know I'm like.

Five hours out here, and
I go completely doolally.

Well, put a fucking
wigwam up or something.

No.

Too much daylight.

How many times, eh?

If you cold turkey your tablets,
I need telling, because A,

they're worth money.

B, they're a magnet for the
fucking bronco for miles.

How the hell much
is all this costing?

8,000, plus VAT.

Well, we knocked a few quid
off for signing on the spot.

There!

There you go!

[laughs]

I said I wanted a
conservatory, Frank.

It's my money.

You haven't got eight grand.

I got a mortgage.

Three, two, one.
Back In the room.

[snaps]

Fucks a re-mortgage costing me.

Us.
You.

Peanuts, Frank.

'Cause I paid off
the house last year.

But if I'm going to be honest,
I miss filing all those bits

of paper they used to send me.

So I took the money
out and everything.

And hid it.

In here.

You always said I shouldn't
let people take advantage.

Come here, you.

[laughs] God, you
are a total one-of.

[laughs] Why don't let
Frank take care of that, eh?

OK.

So how much have
you over-quoted?

Three grand?
Four.

Let's say four.
Eh?

Four grand.

Split it, 50-50.

Gives us a receipt for the lot.

Job's eight grand.

On your fucking bike, Tonto.

You seen Watchdog?

- Yeah.
- Presenter?

Sheila's brother.

Twins.

He's Scottish.

Phone a friend, or fuck off.

Ah!

We run an honest
business here.

Pay our taxes.

All above board.

I just pulled a cake out,
if we're all done and dusted.

Beer, anyone?

Gin and tonic?
- Nah, I'm all right.

Thanks, love.

And he's had enough.

Where the fuck
did you dig them up?

Advert in the Church Gazette.

[music playing]

Right.

Well, thanks for telling me.

-

Veronica!

Those tights you gave
me have got a hole in.

Not now, Mom.

Oh, what's the
matter with her?

Lost a fiver, found a--

I said not now!

I've just found out
me IVFs failed again.

I don't why you
want kids anyway.

Pain in then the bloody
ass, if you ask me.

Bleed you dry.

Take away the best
years of your life.

And then they grow up
to be a total waste--

[sighs] Tell you what, Mom.

Don't mince your words.

Say what you really feel.

I mean, it's not much better
from where I'm standing, is it?

I mean, what did I get?

Jane of the fucking jungle.

But with a beard.

[music playing]

Wedding dress.

Done.

Order flowers.
Done.

Yeah.

Wedding cake.

Martha Stewart
Berry Basket Cake,

with wooden dowel supports, if
I can get the wooden dowels.

If not, I'll just have to
use toilet roll holders.

And you're making
it yourself, so done!

Right.

That brings us to bridesmaids.

And you obviously
want Karen as one.

Me?

A bridesmaid?

You must be joking.

So that just leaves me.

And Liam as page boy.

I've just had to turn
your water off, love,

while we're doing the digging.

OK.

Right. so that's me and Liam.

And I need a bridesmaid
dress, so I've found one.

Digging?

What's he mean, digging?

But I don't understand.
Why are you digging?

- For the foundations.
- No.

The ground's solid.
Just put it on there, can't you?

Well, it won't stand up.

And we're only going
to dig a few feet.

I said no.

I don't want digging.

But if we don't dig, you
can't have a conservatory.

All right.
Just forget it then.

- What?
- I said forget it.

I don't want a conservatory.

Are you joking or what?

I booked time in for this job.

And you can't have a refund.

Then keep the money.

And the cake, too.

If you want it.

Look, I've brought
all the gear now.

Let's just get on with it.

[music playing]

Well, that's it
then, isn't it.

No more freebies on the NHS.

I mean, Kev's sure
as shit not got

two grand for going private,
so looks like game over.

Is it still Kev's
sperm that's the problem?

Still doing backstroke.

Thing is, he never wanted them
until bloody mouth almighty

started going on about it.

And now he's desperate.

How am I going to tell him
that they failed again?

I mean, when they've
been hand-picked

and scored out of a hundred.

And kids like Mandy Maguire
can get pregnant from just

fucking sneezing.

How's that fair?

Have you ever thought
about having any?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Lot of work, aren't they?

[music playing]

[laughs]

[sound of argument]

Leave it alone!

Leave my patio alone!

Leave it alone!

Don't make me do it!

Please, don't make me do it!
- Hey!

What's going on?
Sheila!

Sheila!

I don't want it!

I don't want it!
- It's all right.

It's all right.
- No digging.

- No, it's all right.
- No digging.

No, no.
No digging.

- I don't want them to do it.
- They're not.

They're not.
- Leave it alone!

You're all right.

All right, they'll
leave it alone.

Fucking hell!

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, Frank.

It's just so awful.

It was so awful.

All right.

All right.

There's no need to--
- Frank!

What?

There's something
I need to tell you.

I can marry you
without telling you.

You're not a bloke, are you?

No.
Of course not.

No.

[laughs] No.

I was married before.

Before Eddie.

Before Eddie?

Karen's dad, Eddie?

Yeah.

Sheldon.

But he died.

Of a heart attack.

Oh, well, you know--

well, you know, some of these
blokes these days don't take

care of themselves, do they?

You know, no exercise,
pissing it up.

But, I mean, if it's putting
you off getting married again,

Sheila, then--

No.

It's not that.

It's just he's
buried in the garden!

[music playing]

Are you serious?

No coffin?

Nothing?

She just wrapped him a doily.

Said a few Hail Marys, and
then shoved him six feet under.

It's what he would have
wanted, she reckons.

Can you give us another pint,
Kev, and a couple of Es?

It's a bit fucking
weird though.

Of course it's a
bit fucking weird.

Fucking Michael Jackson
video in your back garden.

Stiff under the
over whatsit bush.

It's hardly Mr. and Mrs., is it?

Hey, do you
reckon Karen knows?

Hey, oi.

Hey, Karen!

Don't tell her,
you stupid bastard.

It's not like he's her dad.

So what did Sheila say about it?

I mean, is she all right?

How the fuck should I know?

Oof.

Oh.

Hey, hey.

So-- so we should have
heard from the hospital.

It should have been
today, shouldn't it?

It might be tomorrow.

You know what they're like.

I'll um-- I'll take
him home, shall I?

Make sure Sheila's all right.

Find out what I can.

Come on, tosspot!

[music playing]

Cheers.

Oh, look at that, Liam, there.

You'd look sweet in that.

Hm.

Oi!

Who's the spunk face,
short arse outside then?

Who?

Not again.

What does he want?

Where?

Oh, go on, Debs.

He's your boyfriend, isn't he?

You know you can tell us.

You're joking, aren't you?

He's only about four.

Someone tell him I've gone out.

[bangs on window]

Fuck off!

[music playing]

Thanks for your help.

It's all right.

Well, I thought, you know, I'd
come and see how it's going,

you know, with--
with the wedding and that.

Sorry I haven't got
much to offer you.

I could do you a vodka?

So, is that where
he's buried then?

What?

Well, I'm-- I'm sorry.

It's just-- well,
Frank said, and well--

I mean, only to us and I--

what the hell happened?

Oh.

Let me-- let me do those.

There's not really
much to tell, actually.

I just couldn't
handle the funeral.

It was the agoraphobia.

And-- and when he fell down
stairs and killed himself,

I thought, the garden's
just as good a place as any.

And he loved that garden.

He loved it.

He used to sit out there and
point where to plant things.

Fell down the stairs?

I thought he had a heart attack.

Well, he-- he did.

He did.

He did, after he
fell down the stairs.

I thought maybe I should
have done him a headstone,

but it would've
spoiled the symmetry.

And he wouldn't have liked that.

Wouldn't have liked it.

I mean, there wasn't any time.

I didn't even have time
to take off his jewelry.

He didn't like me
to touch him anyway.

That's why I can't wear gold.

That's why I have to
wear fake or platinum.

Maybe I should have
phoned someone.

But I knew he was
dead, because he didn't

get up to watch The Sweeney.

The Sweeney.

Things What did Frank say?

What did he say?

How must gold, Sheila?

[music playing]

You look nice, Carol.

I always think animal
prints suit you.

Veronica's put you
up to this, hasn't she?

No, of course not.

Hm.

Well, whatever it is you're
wanting, I'm not biting.

Hi, Debbie.

Doing a good trade
on that confetti.

Waste not, fucking want not.

The thing is, it's not
actually me wanting something.

It's Sheila.

She's stressed
about the wedding,

and she really wants me
to be a bridesmaid but--

The answer's no.

Oh, go on, Carol.

Please.

I'm not nicking you
a bridesmaid's dress.

I got cautioned the last
time I tried something.

I can't take that chance again.

All right, Yvonne.

Just a pack of gum for me.

2,20.

Take What You Want Day For
Bearded Ladies was last week,

Karen.

[music playing]

Thank you.

[cash register]

Why are you following me?

I've got Racing Ninjas.

Look, Brian.

You The thing is, I don't
want to be rude or anything.

I'm just not really interested.

It's nothing
personal or anything.

It's just it's all about
chemicals in your brain.

And can help those.

Who you've got them for,
and who you haven't.

And with you, I just haven't.

Sorry.

No hard feelings, eh?

You can have me skateboard,
if you let me kiss you.

I don't want your skateboard.

What I want is a
bridesmaid's dress.

[music playing]

Frank!

Frank!

[sputters] What'd
you do that for?

She's buried him
with a load of gold.

He was covered in it.

Rings, watches, teeth.

Must be worth a fortune.

What the fuck's that
got to do with me?

We need to dig him up!

Dig?

Are you off your-- dig him up?

It's not Brookside.

He's a dead person.

Exactly.

He don't need it, does he, eh?

It were years ago.

He'll only be a pack of bones.

Oh, and what?

You don't think he's--

he's entitled to everlasting--
you know, fucking whatsit?

A man's soul has the right to
be left in peace, doesn't he?

Or what is the world coming to?

Well, you know what?

You can say a few prayers
when you bury him again.

Come on, Frank.

Kev's cousin can fence it.

All we need to do is get
rid of Sheila for the night,

dig him up, split it 50-50.

Oh.

It's yours by right.

Yeah, but-- is it?

Yeah, of course it is.

'Cause, well, Sheldon
were married to Sheila.

Yeah.

Which makes her
his next of kin.

Right.

You're married to Sheila.

Well, near enough.

So that makes you a--

I really need this money, Frank.

And don't pretend you don't.

Money's Sheila's spending on
this wedding, it's payback!

That's better.

Oh!

You're awake.

Oh.

[music playing]

Oh!

[music playing]

That was a bit out of call.

What time is it?

About three.

Shit!

[music playing]

Mandy.
I'm here.

I'm here now.

Fuck you, Lip.

Look, just let me take her.

I said I would.

You said you'd be here at two.

Jesus Christ.

Just one afternoon out with me
friends, that's all I wanted.

Well, I'm here now.

You're not reliable.

I said I didn't want
you involved with her.

I said you'd get
bored and fuck me.

And you have.

We don't need that
in our lives, Lip.

You're going to end up
like your own fucking dad.

[music playing]

Mandy!

I though we'd agreed
to make a go of it!

Fuck!

Look, she'll calm down, Lip.

She's just pissed off at you.

She's right,
though, isn't she?

I fucked up like
she said I would.

OK.

So tell her you're
sorry and tell

her you'll make it up to her.

I don't want to be like him.

I want to be a good dad.

Look, do you think--
well, what if I

asked her to move in with me.

I could be there for
her all the time.

And she'd know what I mean it.

I suppose.

Yeah.

I could redecorate.

My room, do it how she likes.

That's commitment, isn't it?

Yeah.

[music playing]

Where'd you get this from?

Wrong color.

[door slams]

[party whistles]

Party!

Come on, kid.

Get the music on, Frank.

Party!
[music playing]

Is it a hen
night or something?

Maybe we should invite
some of the others?

No, no.

We can do that later.

We just thought we'd have
a bit of a celebration.

Hey, get the girl a drink, Vee!

[laughter]

Hey!

Come on!

[music playing]

(SINGING) I've got
so much love to give.

I've got so much love to give.

I've got so much love to give.

Come on, Vee!

I'm coming!

Here we go, Sheila!

Chin, chin!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

[music playing]

(SINGING) I've got so much love.

I've got so much love.

Where'd you get it from?

I stole it.

Where from?

My dad works at a printers.

And they make
wedding invitations.

So I know who's getting married.

[crying]

Don't cry.

Please don't cry, honey.

You'll be all right.

We'll sort you out a dress.

You'll be fine.

So, Brian.

How many more weddings
do you know of?

[music playing]

Oh!

I love this one!

I'm having such a lovey time!

Dance with her, will you?

Oh!

Go on, then, Sheila.

[laughter]

There you go!

Down in one.

Go on, go on, go on,
go on, all the way.

Go, go, go, whoo!

[laughter]

[thud]

Oh, thank fuck for that.

How many did you give her?

10.

You don't think she's--

[snoring]

[music playing]

That's the thing
about women, see?

Devious.

Like Alistair fucking
Campbell, the lot of you.

Tik-tik-sh-sh-sh.

Make out like there
is nothing going on.

But inside, ee-ee-ee-ee.

I mean, where's Kev,
while you're here, eh?

Witching hour.

Legs straddling
a fucking corpse.

At home in bed, non
the flaming wiser.

More to the point,
where are you, Frank?

You are meant to
be fucking helping.

Hey, you know,
I can't go there.

It's too close to home.

And then I'm getting
flashbacks to me mom.

Anyway, you were
a fucking nurse.

You're used to dead--

Fucking hell, Frank.

I think I found him.

Well, have a look.

Can you see the gold?

[music playing]

Bloody hell.

There's a watch though.

And some rings.

Fuck me.

[music playing]

Jesus Christ on a bike.

That was some fucking
fall down the stairs.

[music playing]

Here.

I got you a double.

Dig him up, she said.

Won't hurt anyone, she said.

No, you're not the one
that's just found out you're

marrying Myra fucking Hindley.

Frank, I am just as freaked
out about this as you are.

Oh, how does that work?

Were you the one that's lying
awake at 3:00 in the morning,

wondering whether you are going
to make it to breakfast time.

Look, now this-- this wouldn't
normally be my port of call,

but maybe we should think
about going to the police.

You could say you
were gardening.

Hey, how come it's
suddenly it's all about me?

Well, you were the one
who fucking dug him up.

Frank!

You want to pull
yourself together.

I mean, there might
be a perfectly

reasonable explanation.

For a fondue set in the ribs?

What, he thought, oh, I know,
I'll try a bit of acupuncture

to cure the heart attack.

And, oh, dear, whoops, I've
stabbed myself to death.

I don't think so.

Well, if you got to the
police, we've lost the gold.

So why don't you just
shut up about it!

When did you turn into
Lara Croft, Tomb Raider?

Shit!

Oh.

I've got a shocking head.

Didn't sleep
properly last night.

I was up and down like a yo-yo.

Sorry, am I
interrupting something?

- No.
- No.

We were just talking
about the wedding.

In fact, we're
looking forward to it.

Oh, Frank, are you?

Of course I am, yeah.

I've got my dress
fitting today.

Great.

I've got a diamante
bodice, nylon

tulle veil, modesty panel.

Actually, I am-- I
know you don't like

looking after the
twins, but I thought

maybe just for a couple--
- Well, of course I do.

No, don't be silly.

Any time.

- It'd only be for an hour.
- Yeah.

Don't question it, Sheila.

He might change his mind.

Anyway, I've got to shoot.

See you.

Veronica.

Have you got moles, then?

Do what, Lillian?

Moles.
Have you got them.

Our Leslie said she saw
you digging in the garden.

She lives over
the back from you.

No, Lillian, no.

It with-- it's the digger.

We got to builders in.
It's not us.

It was definitely
you in then night.

She wanted go--

No, no, no, she must
have been dreaming it.

Dreamt it.

You know what she's like.
Just hang on.

Hang on.
Sheila, come on, darling.

You got--
- She did tell me it were you.

I know she did.
She knows your house.

Hang on.
Lillian!

Hang on.
Just go on down.

You enjoy yourself.
She told me it were you.

Because she knows your house.
- Hey, hey, hey.

Your work on this
planet is finished.

Return to your own people.

She don't tell lies.

She saw you!

[music playing]

Fucking hell.

No.

No.

No.

Look, Lip, I told you.

Just come with us a minute.

Debs, watch Katie.

What are we doing, Lip?

You'll see in a minute.

All right.

Are you ready?

Ta-da.

What's this meant to be?

Well, it's for you.

I though if you moved in
here, I'll be around, won't I?

I won't be able
to forget things.

Lip, a couple
of coats of paint

aren't going to solve anything.

And what makes you
think I'm going

to move in here with you lot.

It's a fucking nut-house.

No offense, but I'd
rather eat me own sick.

I don't understand you.

But I want it to work, Mandy.

Yeah, well, so do I. But
it's us we've got to sort out.

The real stuff.

Not some fucking paint job.

I don't want to, Debbie.

Brian, you said you'd help me.

You said I could kiss you.

Just help me get the dress.

No.

Just one, OK.

Here.

On the mouth.

On the mouth, or
I'm not doing it.

Just help me get
the dress, all right?

[music playing]

Where did you get it from?

Oh, you know, grave robbing.

[laughs] Usual stuff.

I'd put it back if I was you.

Eh?

It's fake.

The whole lot of it.

Ain't worth a penny.

[music playing]

Come on, then.

Let me see.

All right, then.

But make it quick.

And if you gob on me,
I'll throw up on you.

Well, go on then.

I-- I think you're horrible.

You think you're really it.

But you're not.

You're just using me.

And you should do that,
because it's wrong.

I don't want to kiss you.

I don't want to
see you ever again.

[music playing]

Frank?

Are you all right
about tomorrow?

I can't wait to
be Mrs. Gallagher.

I think I'll just
hit the hay, Sheila.

[music playing]

SHEILA: Just locking up
for the night, Frank!

[door slams]

Frank?

Yeah, just in here, love.

Frank, are you
all right, love?

Yeah, yeah.

Just you know.

Is there something wrong?

Frank?

What Lillian said.

Were you digging?

Did you-- Did you dig him up?

[water starts]

Sorry, love.

Not here.

Did you dig him up?

Did you dig him up?

Did you dig him up, Frank?

[music playing]

Hey, erm--

Veronica.

You've heard, haven't you?

From the hospital.

It's not good news, is it?

No.

Oh, look.
I'm really sorry.

I just didn't know to tell you.

Ah.

FRANK: Veronica!

Veronica!

[glass breaking]

For fuck's sake!

Mind your feet!

What the fuck are
you playing at, Frank!

Let me in!

You've just broken
the fucking window!

Look, I need the
money from the gold.

KEV: What fucking gold?

You've done what?

Well, he were
fucking dead anyway.

Correction.
Murdered.

How much?

Hey, you what?

Sheila murdered him.

So?
- She murdered him?

You're joking.
FRANK: Wish I fucking was, mate.

Yeah, well, Frank,
it was a big fat zero,

because it's all fake.

So fucking tough
shit on both of us.

So I dug up that
body for nothing?

You didn't dig him up!

I fucking did!

That gold is me get
out of jail free card.

How the hell am I going
to get away from her, now?

Whoa, what you on about?

She knows!

Fucking Lillian, fucking-- and
now she's going to kill me.

[laughs]

No, it's not fucking funny!

Look, you didn't see
her with that spade.

They get a taste
for it, don't they?

I've seen Crimewatch.

VERONICA: Oh, for fuck's sake!

What the hell am
I going to do now?

I'm going to have to stay here,
while I get me head together.

You are joking.

Over my dead body.

It's me darkest
hour, Veronica!

Me dream wedding in tatters!

Me kids are not
taking pity on me.

Lip's already thrown me out.
Come on!

Yeah, well, tell it to Oprah!

Now fuck off!

FRANK: Veronica, you
can't do this to me!

I'm a marked man!

You got me into this!

Veronica!

VERONICA: Go home, Frank!

What?

[door slams]

Oh, piss!

- I can't believe you.
- Oh, no.

Don't.

What were you thinking?

I thought we could use the
money to-- you know, for IVF.

I know how much
you want it, Kev.

Oh, you.

Come here, you daft cow.

Hey, not many blokes
could say the wife

would go grave robbing for him.

Oh, it were horrible and all.

And he stank.

Oh.

Well, look, Vee.

We're all right.

We're all right.

We don't need no one else.

Hey, but we don't need to be
trying for a baby to have sex,

do we?

[laughs] No.

All right.

Let us in, then.

[laughs]

[music playing]

[knocking at door]

Frank?

[music playing]

Frank?

Frank, are you there, love?

Carl!

Carl!

Is your dad there?

No.
Why?

I think he's left me!

Hey, give over, Sheila.

I-- he's-- he's probably with--

well, he's probably out with
Kev somewhere, isn't he, you?

Getting ready and that.

It's bad luck seeing you on
your wedding day, isn't it?

Look, why don't you go home?

And don't worry.

We'll-- we'll find him.

I'll get him.

What the fuck you doing, Frank?

It's your wedding day.

You can't just disappear.

She's in pieces.

Yeah.

But what about me?

I'm a hunted man!

She's got a fucking
spade, Veronica.

If you're not
going to marry her,

Frank, you have got to tell her.

Sort him out, will you?

I'm going to Sheila's.

Come on, knobhead.

All right.

So you did up this bloke
and she's killed him, right?

Yeah.

And who's to say he's
not the only one?

Mm?

Well, you remember
Eddie the owl?

Fucking missionary work in
Africa, or six feet under?

What's the more likely, eh?

Well, look, the
only reason you

know about Sheldon in the first
place is because she told you.

Now what's she going to tell
you for if she's planning

on giving you the same?

Well, it's-- is it's
double bluff, isn't it?

Plus she had no choice.

No, that's bollocks, Frank.

The reas-- no.

Frank, the reason she told
you is because she trusts you.

[laughs]

That woman, she
wouldn't lay a finger on.

Fuck knows why, but she thinks
the sun shines out your arse.

But she's still a
fucking murderer, Kev.

I'm not marrying her.

Hm.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

I thought I might as well
put it on, though I don't

suppose I'll be needing it now.

Hey now, come on.
Enough of that.

He knows, doesn't he?

He knows about Sheldon?

Out

I'm sorry, Sheila.

We didn't--

He used to hit me, see?

If everything wasn't
just so, he used to--

it was like he was looking
for things to find fault with.

Like If his records
weren't stacked neatly,

or if I had a button undone.

Sheldon fucking beat you?

I was younger, see?

You think you deserve
it, don't you?

You don't know any better.

It was the gold
that was the worst.

He used to burn me with it.

Pattern marks, all up and
down me arms and legs.

[music playing]

[whimpering]

And if I cried, he'd
punch me in the face.

Battered me once, put me
in a hospital for a month.

Why didn't anybody stop him?

Why didn't you go to the police?

I did.

But they used to pretend
they couldn't see the marks.

They just used to
say, there, there,

and give me a boiled
sweet, and send me home.

They used to call it a
domestic in those days.

They didn't want
to get involved.

It was always gobstoppers.

I can't stand the
sight of them now.

And then one-- one
night, he was coming

up there with the medallion.

But I just went.

[music playing]

[screams]

I didn't plan anything.

Oh, Sheila.

What a bastard.

I can't believe you've
never told us before.

He deserved everything
he got, then.

You mustn't waste
another breath on him.

Frank's gone,
Veronica, because of me.

Because of what I've done.
- Hey, now.

Come on.
That--

Do you think maybe if-- do
you think maybe if I confessed,

do you think maybe
Frank could forgive me?

I know-- I know he
doesn't love me anymore.

But if he could figure me,
that would be something,

wouldn't it?
- Well, come on, Sheila.

You are not getting
yourself banged

up for the likes of Sheldon.

He was a monster.

But for Frank.

He's the best thing that's
ever happened to me.

I'm going to turn myself in.

[music playing]

Oi!

Having a nice time, are you?

While your fiancee's
gone to turn herself in?

Well, if you
can't do the time.

For the murder of a bloke
who beat her to a fucking pulp!

Oi!

Where the fuck you going?

Empty house.

I'm going to keep
myself company.

For fuck's sake, Frank.

He used to burn her fucking
arms with a medallion.

How much more
convincing do you need?

I am not fucking joking, Frank.

You can't let her go
through with this.

She'll go to prison!

And she's only
confessing, because she

thinks it's what you want.

Fucking hell.

What?

Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher.

She's opened a fucking
joint account for you.

[music playing]

[door slams]

[music playing]

Hey!

What's he doing?
Hey!

Get off!

What are you doing?

That' my bike!

My bike!

[music playing]

For fuck's sake!

[music playing]

[sobs]

[music playing]

Hey!

Hey!

[music playing]

Sergeant?

Oh, blimey.

Look at you, Sheila.

Oh, twins have grown, eh?

Yeah, they have.

[sobs]

So, what can we do for you?

You come to report a crime?

What is it?

Frank wants to wear his
Hawaiian shirt for the wedding?

No.
No.

I've come to confess.

To a murder.

Sorry.

[sobs]

Look, Sheila, love.

You don't have to marry Frank,
you know, if you don't want to.

You don't have to go
making up stories.

No, I really do.

It's just because of the
conservatory, you see.

All right.

Maybe we should-- we'll
get you a cup of tea.

Yeah.

Yeah, that would be lovely.

With Demerara, if you've got it.

Gobstopper?

No!

Whoa, Nelly!

Hold the fucking horses.

Now, whatever she's saying,
it's not true, right?

It's just pre-wedding jitters.

Isn't it?

And she's-- she's--

Can I just have a couple of
minutes with her, on me own?

Sheila!

What are you doing,
you daft mare!

I know you know about
him, what I've done,

so I thought I'd come
and get it off me chest.

Oh, but what
you talking about?

He was a brute, wasn't he?

It's all right, because
Veronica told me.

M He deserved everything he got.

God, if I had got to him
first, I'd have done it!

Because if anyone lays a
fucking finger on you--

Frank, you'd gone
because of what I'd done.

No!

Well, yeah, but it was just--

you know, just a mom--

moment-- cold feet!

Just a normal kind
of bloke's thing.

I just-- I got a bit--

anyway, the point
is I'm here now.

Why don't we just go home, eh?

To tell you the truth, your
finding out is quite a weight

off.

Listen, I've been giving
it a lot of thought.

And I've thought,
maybe all this trouble

I've had over the last
few years, you know,

like the pills and everything?

Maybe it's because of the guilt?

I think I need to be punished.

Sheila, you have
served your time.

In here.

So what good's it going to do?

You're not-- you're not going
to bring him back, is it?

But, Frank--

I'll tell you
something, Sheila.

If you go to prison--

no, I know, if you go to prison
you will kill another man.

No!

Because I will die
of a broken heart.

Frank?

Do you really mean that?

Do I?

A man without a woman.

Sheila Jackson, will you
do me the great thingy

of being my wife?

Oh!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Of course I will!

Of course I will!

[laughs]

Let's get the fuck
out of this place then.

[music playing]

Well, you don't scrub up bad.

Didn't think you were coming.

Yeah, well, wouldn't
miss this, would I?

I got me mom to mind Kate, so
it's just me and you today,

if we can remember how do that.

Course we can.

Come on.

You got a buttonhole, Marty?

- Nick a cock in it!
- Hiya, Karen.

Hiya, Sue.

Here you are, love.

Cheers.

In a civil service,
we don't make

vows of a religious nature.

Thank fuck.

[laughter]

But we pledge our love,
honor, and respect in a way

that's just as deeply binding.

Come on, come on.

Get to the good bit.

Do you Vernon Francis
Gallagher-- come on, join in,

if you know the words.

Do you Vernon
Francis Gallagher,

take Sheila Jackson to be
your lawfully wedded wife?

I do!

[cheering and applause]

And do you,
Sheila Jackson, take

Vernon Francis Gallagher to be
your lawfully wedded husband?

Yes!

Yeah!

I'm guilty!
[laughs]

Hurray!

Here's the ring.

I now pronounce
you husband and wife.

[cheering and applause]

[music playing]

Way to go, Frank!

[music playing]

(SINGING) Congratulations
and celebrations.

When I tell everyone that
you're in love with me.

Congratulations and jubilations

Hey.

Glad I'm glad you came through.

Yeah, well.

I could hardly let her down.

Could I?

Anyway, I got to I
thinking, I never

the divorce through
from Monica, in the end,

so it's not legal anyway.

[laughs]

[music playing]

Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher!

[music playing]

So, I've got a
new joke, right?

What does bigamy mean?

One wife too many.

And monogamy?

Same fucking thing.

You know, if you've got
to have a ball and chain,

Sheila's the woman for the job.

Because if we ever
fall on hard times,

we can send her out
as a contract killer.

So like the chief Roman said,
veni, vidi, vol-au-vent.

Let's have a fucking party!

[music playing]

(SINGING) Congratulations
and celebrations, when

I tell everyone that you're

Here.
Give me that.

[cheering and applause]

[music playing]