Original subtitles

Okay, last order of business. Our magazine is being harassed. Has anyone

of a feminist organization called Women on Women?

Oh, yeah. I checked out their newsletter.

It's not what you think. No lesbians. Boo.

They're threatening a boycott of blush.

According to them, we promote bad body image.

Oh, that's ridiculous. We promote good body image.

Thanks to us and the do -gooders at Maxim, more women than ever are ashamed

being fat.

I think what they're saying, Nina, is that women are more than their bodies

shouldn't have to be objectified.

Chesty has a point.

Maya, I'd like you to talk to these people and try and get them off my back.

Fine, I'll see what I can do, but as the poet Adrian Rich once pointed out...

Great. Meeting adjourned.

I'm sorry I missed the meeting. I was having coffee with my new buddy Jake and

just lost track of time, you know?

You weren't there?

You see this kind of mocking? See, I don't get that from my friend Jake. In

fact, we were just talking about our fathers, and it was so intense.

It was so intense, we actually cried.

If you had sex with this guy while watching Cabaret, it would be less gay.

You know, it is so sad that you can't even conceive of two heterosexual men

having a legitimate emotional connection.

I'm plenty sensitive with my guy friends. The other day, Kevin fell over

railing and bounced down two flights of stairs. I tried really hard not to

laugh.

He broke some ribs.

Maya Gallo? Yes.

Naomi Bergson, Women on Women. Oh, my God. It is such an honor to meet you. I

saw you speak when I was at Columbia, and it completely shaped the way I think

about myself as a woman. Oh, I'm very flattered.

A little surprised, though, given you work for Blush.

Well, I guess back then I didn't see myself working at a fashion magazine

either, but... The money was good and a gal's got to eat. Exactly.

You're a whore.

Excuse me?

I'm sorry to be so blunt, Maya, but you've sacrificed your moral to peddle

for a living. What does that sound like to you?

I do not think it's fair to say that I peddle sex.

Your lead article reads, sex, don't give it away, make him pay for it.

That title is ironic. It's not an article about trading sex for money.

about getting respect in the form of dinner and gifts.

Oh, my God, I'm a whore.

Nice dining, my darling.

You're so lucky to have found each other. Oh, no.

Every day I think about that chubby little boy who shot an arrow into my

Yeah, Cupid.

No, it's Arthur Dinsdale.

That little bastard nearly killed me.

Sweet dreams, darling.

I hope so. I've been having trouble sleeping lately.

I took six of these, but so far they haven't...

Hello, Nina.

Vinny, I thought you were dead.

I am dead.

I'm visiting you from the afterworld.

Dimethylhydrosulfazine. Isn't that an elephant tranquilizer? They're very hard

to find. I had to switch veterinarian.

I see you still wear makeup to bed.

And I see even God couldn't fix that Mexican facelift of yours.

Bitch. Lush.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

Anyway, I'm here because...

I've seen the future, Nina.

You're going to cheat on Simon.

No, no, I would never.

Yes, you will.

It'll be with a tall man who'll be carrying a box.

You'll find him irresistible.

No, I don't want to cheat on Simon. He's the love of my life.

I would never do anything to hurt him.

I've seen the future, Nina.

You will cheat on Simon.

You will cheat...

Why are you talking like that?

Just look scared.

My supervisor's watching.

What's the matter?

Uh, nothing, nothing. It was just a bad dream.

Oh, what about?

Uh, well, we were at war with Poland and Russia and

Scandinavia, and it was awful. You couldn't get vodka anywhere.

But we were still on good terms with Thailand and Jamaica, right?

Thank God.

So,

how

did it go with that woman from the feminist group?

She has a name, Naomi, and she's capable of doing as much as you or any other

man. I'm sorry you're so threatened by that.

Okay.

So what did Naomi have to say?

That they would be willing to call off the boycott if Blush agreed to certain

concessions. Like?

They want you to devote an entire issue to the negative body image in American

women. All the models have to be plus -sized. All the articles have to be

problems like eating disorders.

And this ties into orgasms how?

It doesn't.

Well, who the hell is this woman trying to shove her crazy ideas down my throat?

Actually, they were my ideas.

What? Now she's turned my own daughter against me. Oh, I haven't been turned

against you.

Are you wearing a button that says bash blush?

They had sweaters and caps, too.

All right, that's it.

You can tell your friend I'm not changing a thing. And if I lose so much

penny because of a boycott... I'm suing her organization into the ground.

Threatening is not going to make this go away, Dad. They are a powerful, well

-funded organization. You're going to have to talk to her.

Fine. But just so we're clear, Maya, this is business.

And as long as you're in their camp, expect me to treat you as I would any

ruthless foe.

I'm just going to go grab some lunch.

Wear a scarf. It's chilly.

You have an advanced degree. You've studied a lot of science. Answer me

How many chickens do I need to kill to get rid of a ghost?

What are you talking about?

My dead friend Vinnie visited me in a dream and told me that I was going to

cheat on Simon.

Oh, Nina, come on.

Ghosts? That was just your unconscious working out some fears of commitment.

Oh, Maya.

You know how I wish I could live in your fairytale world of unicorns and moon

landings?

But I'm afraid we grown -ups have to grapple with a little thing called

I'm just going to have to tell Simon that a dead woman told me I would sleep

with a tall man carrying a box.

Hey, Nina, this came for you.

I can't fight fate. Just get naked and meet me in my office.

Oh, my God.

Make -A -Wish got my letter.

Nina, get hold of yourself. You're in... control of your destiny. You don't have

to sleep with Kevin.

Mom, pick up the phone.

You'll never guess what just happened.

Maybe you're right.

See? You do have free will.

No, it's been foretold.

Somewhere out there is a man waiting for me to accept his package.

We are too in love.

You shut up!

Hey, is Elliot around?

Uh, no. Sorry, man. He's not here. Would you mind telling him Jake dropped by?

Oh, you're Jake.

You know why he mentioned me?

Yeah, of course. You're the one he has the deep emotional connection with.

And that seems weird to you.

Well, maybe I'm a little old -fashioned, but I don't cry in front of another

dude unless I'm trying to get out of a speeding ticket.

You're funny, you know that?

But then we have to be funniest guys, don't we? I mean, no one wants to hear

about it when we're vulnerable or frightened.

I bet your whole life you always had to be the funniest guy around.

My father never hugged me.

Hey,

Finch, it's my dad. Don't you say, Dad.

Just a second.

Hey, Pumpkin, what's up?

I was just wondering how you and Naomi were getting along.

We're still feeling each other out.

Hey, Jake call?

Nope. You mentioned we might go to the Knicks game last night when I called, he

was out.

Well, I certainly wouldn't know anything about that.

Is that a Knicks program?

Oh, my God, it is. That's weird.

Hey, well, off to work with you.

Those models aren't going to shoot themselves.

Until their late 20s, anyhow.

This was from last night's game.

You went out with Jake, didn't you?

Fine. He gets me, okay?

He understands my shadow side. Is that a crime? He's my friend.

Well, when you called last night, he had no problem letting the machine pick it

up.

You were at his place?

Oh, yeah.

Just stay away from him, Finch, all right? I met him first. You find your

friends. Fine.

I got all the guy friends I need, anyhow.

Hey, Kevin.

How you doing, buddy? You feeling all right through fifth ball? Well, good

My left arm keeps flipping out of the socket, and I keep seeing these weird

lights. Yackety -yack. I didn't ask for your life story, dude.

Oh, good morning, dear.

How are you this morning?

Oh, just fine. And you?

Are you upset about something?

I find it difficult to understand why, under the circumstances, you would sleep

with my father. I mean, doesn't that compromise your position?

Why? Are you suggesting that just because I'm a woman, having sex would

my stand?

Well, no, but... If you want to know the truth, I think we made some key

breakthroughs this morning in the shower.

Oh, there you are.

Good morning.

Pookie. You're the pookie. Oh, no, I'm not. I hate to interrupt, but can we get

down to business?

Strawberry, my dear.

That's as sweet as you are. Try it.

Oh,

my God. If one of you picks up a banana, I'm just going to shoot myself.

Can we focus here?

Now, we would like Blush to devote an entire issue to negative body image in

women. I'll give you one feature and a plus -size model on the cover.

That is insulting. We will not even dignify that with a response.

We'll take it.

What? Seems like a fair compromise.

So, I'll see you at dinner.

Pick you up at eight.

I can't believe you would sleep with Naomi just to get her off your back.

I happen to find her a very interesting and attractive woman.

She may fall for... your act, but not me.

You've still got a fight ahead of you, mister. I will not back down.

You still coming to dinner on Friday?

Yes, and I will bring the green beans with the crunchies on top.

Hello, Simon.

Hello, love.

Why the long face?

Well, I'm afraid that I have something rather difficult to tell you.

There's another man.

Who is he?

I don't know yet.

He'll be carrying a box when we meet, so he could be anything from a pizza man

to a pallbearer.

Nina, who's been putting this nonsense into your head?

Some daft psychic or some crazy tarot card reader?

No, a dead friend came to me in a dream.

Oh, my God, that is serious.

I'm so glad you understand.

Do I?

Mama Cass has been haunting my dreams for years.

You tell one joke while someone's walking down a ham sandwich, they stay

at you forever.

Simon, I am so sorry. I mean, I have no idea why I would ever cheat on you. I

swear it is the furthest thing from my mind. Well, who was this friend who came

to you? I mean, what was she like?

Oh, well, Vinnie was... was vain, selfish.

spiteful, vindictive, competitive.

God, she was impossible not to love.

Wait a minute, Nina.

If Binnie was all those things while she was alive, the odds are she's still all

those things now that she's dead.

Really? Oh, absolutely.

Studies show that people grow very little emotionally once they're

Maybe.

She didn't see the future. Maybe she just doesn't want to see you happy.

Maybe you're right. I mean, she could never stand it when I had a boyfriend

then she went crazy when I started dating her husband.

There you are. You see, it's really nothing after all.

Oh, Simon, thank you, thank you, thank you.

You were always so wise about these things.

Well, I have been declared clinically dead four times, so I'm a bit of an

expert.

You know why football is the best sport?

Because it demands more than skill.

It demands strategy.

Yeah, I hear you.

You know what else marries hand -eye coordination with strategic planning?

Knitting a sweater.

Once again, thanks for hooking me up. Nah, you're lucky I had a mannequin on

your side.

Listen, I'm going to go sign us up for the dartboard, all right? All right.

Hey, you know why Dad loved to throw darts?

He loved to throw a lot of things.

Hey, Finch.

Elliot!

What are you doing here?

I came to get a beer. Why? What's up?

Hey, Finch.

You would not believe... Oh, hey, Elliot.

Hello, Jake.

Thought you had a rock climbing class tonight.

You know what? That's actually tomorrow night. I made a mistake.

Sure you did.

Let's not make a scene here. I would like I'd give you the satisfaction.

Guys, what's going on here? Why are you acting this way? Oh, I don't know.

Maybe because I thought we were buddies.

Special buddies. But apparently, oh, you'll be buddies with any guy who comes

along.

He likes me more. It's no big deal.

I don't like you more. You don't?

What is this, some game to you?

Guys, can't we just all be friends?

So what? You want us both at the same time? Oh, yeah, you'd like that,

you? That'd be real nice.

Okay, you guys are freaking me out. You know, things were great until you came

along. You can't see me happy. Oh, I'm out of here. No, no, wait, wait, don't,

don't, don't go, don't go. Hey, that sweater's dry clean only.

Hey, dude.

What happened? Were we just fighting over a guy?

I don't know.

I mean, maybe, you know, as men, we're so uncomfortable with sharing our

feelings that, you know, when a guy really listens and cares, we just...

how starved we are for it, you know?

Well, maybe we could be there for each other more.

When I wake up and find hair on my pillow, I cry.

Every Christmas I get drunk and I wash my grandma.

I'm going to go. Yeah, let's not mention this again.

Boycott Blush.

Blush magazine contributes to the negative body image of American women.

Big is beautiful.

And what size are you, honey?

Well, I'm a two, but I recently porked up from a zero.

Maya, let's stop.

It's freezing and no one cares.

Hey, Michelle.

We've got to stay and fight.

My kid has a guy and he's helping us out.

I'm just waiting for my mom to pick me up.

We're going to buy pants.

You want to come?

Sure.

Okay, fine. Go ahead. I'll just do it myself because this is important.

How's the protest going?

Oh, is that supposed to be funny because I'm here all by myself?

I had 30 -plus -sized girls here before Krispy Kreme opened.

Maya, I agreed to a cover story, and it was good enough for Naomi. Because you

seduced her.

Come on. She's an intelligent, independent woman. Do you honestly think

change her? Well, you've done it before.

To who?

To me. Before I came to Bluss, I was radical and poor and pissed off.

And now I have this good job and nice clothes and some money, and I'm...

Happy? Yes!

What kind of monster are you?

Maya, I think you've got this idea that being angry makes someone deep, and it's

just not true.

It's not a crime to be happy.

I just want to feel like I make a difference. You do.

You're decent, thoughtful, and honest.

And your example has influenced all of us.

Me, best of all.

Thanks, Dad.

I mean, look at Naomi.

Because of you, I'm starting to get interested in more mature women. Women

substance. Good for you.

Go ahead.

Oh, back again, huh?

What, you couldn't get into Warhol's parties up there either?

I have seen the future.

All right, cut the crap. You haven't seen anything.

You're just being your normal, spiteful, bitchy self.

Well, I was bored.

Death sucks.

When are you coming?

Oh, Ben.

Look, I can understand why you're jealous of me and Simon. I mean, God, it

be lonely up there all by yourself.

By myself?

That's a laugh, you condescending slut.

You know who I'm dating now?

Jim Morrison.

No. Come on, baby. Let's get out of here.

You got the fat version.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0