Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:44,871
Oh! Thank God you're here.
What? W... What's wrong?
2
00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:47,941
I got a caraway seed
stuck in my teeth.
It's driving me nuts.
3
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:50,176
D... Do you have some floss
or some kind of dental pick?
4
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,212
No. No, I don't.
5
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,347
I'm sorry. Any messages?
Production called.
6
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,383
They need your approval
on the Landsdale galleys.
7
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:58,918
Fenniman needs
to change his appointment
to three o'clock,
8
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,253
and some professor
person called.
9
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,856
Something about a TV show.
Oh, my God.
10
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,491
It's working its way
into my gum.
11
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:07,060
Wait a minute.
That... that last thing.
What professor?
12
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,596
Is this a TV show
I'm supposed to watch,
or... or what?
13
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,464
No, he wants you to be on it.
14
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:12,832
A guest on a TV show?
15
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,668
No, he wants you to host it.
16
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,936
Who? Toby...
17
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,204
What are you talking about?
18
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:20,140
Gotcha.
19
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,775
I wrote it all down. Here.
20
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,014
Thank you.
21
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,318
It's called Book Beat.
You know, it's kind of
a talk show.
22
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,054
This is amazing!
How did it happen?
23
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,089
It's in conjunction
with Columbia University.
24
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:38,391
You know, my old English
professor asked me if I'd do it,
25
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,326
and I really, uh...
26
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:45,432
They're from
American Chemist magazine.
27
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,002
The swimsuit issue.
28
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:53,006
Anyway, I start tonight.
Tonight?
29
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,241
Yeah.
I'm a little nervous, you know?
30
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,677
Oh, don't be, man.
If anybody knows books, you do.
31
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,880
And Robin here can tell you
what you can do about
that shine on your nose.
32
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,184
I can't wait to see it.
What channel?
33
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,552
Well, Q.
34
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,154
Q?
It's public access.
35
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,124
It's either 26 or 58,
depending on your cable system.
36
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:13,860
That's... great.
37
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,528
I think so.
38
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,764
I see it as a chance to be...
On television.
39
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:20,100
Sort of a spokesperson
for literacy.
40
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,735
And I'll be...
On television.
41
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,570
Talking to authors
and exploring their work
42
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:24,537
five nights a week.
43
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:27,240
Prime time?
Midnight.
44
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,476
Midnight's good.
Yeah.
45
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,344
You know, all my life
I've wanted to be...
46
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,413
On television.
In a position to share
47
00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:35,582
my love of books and reading.
48
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:36,916
Bullshit, Martin.
49
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,385
You just want to be
on television.
50
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,821
Well, I suppose
that plays a part in it.
51
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,990
All clear!
Later.
52
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,062
In five, four,
53
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,997
three, two...
54
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,466
It's The Eddie Charles Show,
55
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,236
with your host, Eddie Charles!
56
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,538
It's Book Beat,
57
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,307
with your host, Martin Tupper.
58
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,929
Okay, Wally, you can go.
Show's over.
59
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,764
Oh, okay. We're next.
60
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,310
Uh, thanks for coming
on such short notice.
You know, I'm really...
61
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:30,470
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry I'm late.
Mr. Tupper?
62
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,238
I'm Terri Milton, your producer.
63
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,841
Hi.
64
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,743
Oh, not for a sophomore.
65
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,079
You're a sophomore?
Yeah.
66
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,547
And you're my independent
study project.
67
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,382
This is Duane.
68
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,385
He's our stage manager
and cameraman.
69
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,420
Hi.
And he's also my boyfriend.
70
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,490
Oh. How cozy.
71
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:52,292
Twenty seconds.
Oh, shit, shit, shit!
72
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,993
Um, here. Go sit over there.
73
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,995
Oh, sorry.
74
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,033
I'll sit... Uh, no, I think...
Oh, okay.
75
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,801
Terri, uh,
76
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:05,872
where's our makeup person?
77
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:07,307
I have a... a shine problem.
78
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:09,209
Ten seconds.
79
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,643
In five, four,
80
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,015
three, two...
81
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,117
Cue music.
82
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,150
It's Book Beat!
83
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:20,954
Hi. I'm...
84
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,222
With your host, Martin Tupper.
85
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,723
Well, go on, boy.
'Tain't every day
you get a chance like this.
86
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,761
Go on out there.
Show 'em how you can
kill 'em dead.
87
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,330
My first guest
88
00:05:30,363 --> 00:05:32,132
is an author with whom
I've just started working.
89
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,535
Meet Albert Tarver,
90
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:36,936
author of Don't Be Shy.
91
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,472
Mr. Tarver,
92
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,242
shyness is a problem
for many people.
93
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:45,111
In fact, you, yourself,
overcame it.
94
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,647
What was that like?
Hard!
95
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,718
Relax. It's first-night fever.
That can happen to an author.
96
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,457
Yet you wrote a book about it.
97
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,361
Why?
98
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,732
The money!
99
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,767
Ah.
100
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,437
Uh, Terri, could you put
the number up on the screen?
101
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,476
Great.
102
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:19,746
We don't have
to talk about this book.
103
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,150
We could talk about any book.
104
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,493
And in the eighth grade,
I read all of Hermann Hesse.
105
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,197
Um, you know,
Steppenwolf, Siddhartha.
106
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,305
But think my love of books
started even earlier...
107
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:48,808
with an elephant named Babar.
108
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,046
An elephant named Babar?
109
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,950
Yeah, well, uh,
thanks for watching.
110
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,188
Oh, not just me.
I had friends over.
111
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,991
We taped it.
112
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,961
Third, fourth,
fifth time we saw it,
113
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,362
soda still came out
of my sister Gina's nose.
114
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,765
Yo, Mr. Television!
115
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:15,235
Your ex-wife's on one.
116
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,289
Jude.
Martin, hi.
117
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,824
Can you take Jeremy
for dinner Thursday?
118
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,529
Sure, sure. Listen.
119
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,230
Did you send me flowers?
120
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,366
No. Why would I?
121
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,901
Oh.
122
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,637
Well, I just thought, you know,
123
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,805
because of the show
last night that, uh...
124
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,306
Martin, I'm sorry.
125
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,275
Uh, Richard was on Nightline.
126
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,277
Oh. Again?
127
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,579
Well, uh,
try and catch me tonight.
128
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:02,115
Yeah, I will. I promise.
129
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,250
Bye.
Bye.
130
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,386
Did... did you see these?
Somebody sent me flowers!
131
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,687
Well, you did die last night.
132
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,759
Who they from?
133
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,195
An angel from heaven.
134
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:18,898
A fan.
135
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,268
I have a fan.
136
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,538
Welcome to Book Beat.
137
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:29,242
As you can see,
I have no guest tonight.
138
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,678
I planned on having one,
139
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:35,315
but my producer Terri
wasn't able to call him
140
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,683
because she had a psych midterm.
141
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:39,019
Sociology.
142
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,553
So...
143
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,389
we'll go straight to the phone.
144
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:43,422
Wow. Hey, uh...
145
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,792
We have a call!
146
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,662
Hello. You're on Book Beat.
147
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,696
Hi.
148
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,036
I just called to say
149
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,570
that this is
my favorite show on television.
150
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,905
Uh, Book Beat?
151
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,608
Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna hang up now.
152
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,543
No, no!
Don't hang up!
153
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,680
Uh, don't... don't you want
to talk about books?
154
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,548
Really?
155
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,951
Could I, with you?
156
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,620
Well, that's what I'm here for.
157
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,055
Wow. I can't believe it.
158
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,090
I can't believe
I'm sitting here in my apartment
159
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:19,592
about to discuss books
with Martin Tupper...
160
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,594
Who?
The host of Book Beat.
161
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,497
Oh, believe it.
162
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,434
Uh, what would you like
to talk about?
163
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,735
Read me a poem.
164
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,570
Read you a poem?
165
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,172
Uh...
166
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,708
I don't have
any books of poetry here.
167
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,209
Oh!
168
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,078
Thank you, Terri.
169
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:41,347
That... that was fortunate.
170
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,019
And heavy.
171
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,521
Let's see what we've got here.
172
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:49,923
By the way...
173
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,057
did you like the flowers?
174
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,460
I hope it was okay
if I sent them.
175
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,493
Sometimes I get a little...
176
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,030
impulsive.
177
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:59,099
That was you?
178
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,667
Oh, no, it was
a very nice thing to do.
179
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:03,937
I love flowers. Thank you, uh...
180
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,338
Nora.
Nora.
181
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:09,309
Well, Nora, here's one
that's always been
a favorite of mine.
182
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,078
"By the shore of Gitche Gumee,
183
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,514
by the shining Big-Sea-Water,
184
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,051
at the doorway of his wigwam,
185
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,224
in the pleasant summer morning."
186
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:27,627
"Hi..."
187
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,063
What is that?
188
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,765
Oh, I... I think
we're having a problem with...
with the connection.
189
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:33,967
Don't worry, Martin.
190
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,674
The connection's just fine.
191
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:44,144
Go on.
192
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,645
"Hiawatha stood and waited."
193
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,914
This is incredible.
You know, last night
194
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,416
a viewer just mentioned
she sent me flowers,
195
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,456
and now look at this!
196
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,165
Talk about
the power of television.
197
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,933
How 'bout the power of Allerest?
198
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,768
Next time, why don't they
cut out the middleman?
199
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,403
Just send pollen.
200
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,872
"Before I found you,
I was blushing unseen,
201
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,874
wasting my sweetness
on the desert air.
202
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:15,909
Love...
203
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:20,480
"Nora."
204
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,615
Oh, well, I guess
she's an avid fan.
205
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:23,649
Crazy kid. Aw.
206
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:25,751
"Come live with me
and be my love,
207
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,155
and we will
all the pleasures prove.
208
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,625
Yours forever, Nora."
209
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,861
Uh...
210
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,329
Nora!
211
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,665
Nora?
212
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:41,167
Who is this Nora? A florist?
213
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,806
I'm mad!
214
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,577
Well, I have a head
full of phlegm,
215
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,579
but I wouldn't announce it.
216
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,950
Mr. Tarver, what's the matter?
217
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,418
Read this.
218
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,420
"Dear Mr. Tarver, Martin Tupper
is far too talented
219
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,455
to waste his time
on your pedestrian books."
220
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,224
"We suggest
you find another editor.
221
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,793
Sincerely..."
222
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,596
Nora.
Mr. Tarver,
223
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:12,032
this is somebody's idea
of a sick joke.
224
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,633
I mean,
I don't even know the woman.
225
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,335
This just came.
It was marked urgent.
226
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,936
From Nora.
227
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,838
Nora, huh?
228
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,774
Uh, Mr. Tarver, I...
229
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,008
Thank you.
230
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,145
Uh...
231
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,814
Do not open that box.
232
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:28,848
"Pink is not your color. Love..."
233
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,316
Oh, not again!
234
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,289
She's obviously been following me.
Yeah.
235
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,931
But she's right about that tie.
236
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,267
Eddie, the woman
is fixated on me.
237
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,575
Hey, will you
get over yourself, pal?
238
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,577
I mean, we are talking
Book Beat here.
239
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,946
I know, but the fact is
I'm being stalked.
240
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:01,481
The woman is stalking me!
241
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,017
Calm down.
Excuse me.
242
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,019
What? What? What do you want?
Ketchup.
243
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,387
I promise,
I'll bring it right back.
244
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,122
Okay, okay.
245
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:11,725
I guess I'm a little paranoid.
246
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,160
Hey, it's rough being famous.
247
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,533
You know, Dad,
I think it's so neat
248
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,303
that you're on television.
249
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,972
I mean, Scotty Fenniman's mom
saw you last night.
250
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,684
Yeah?
And my science teacher.
251
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,352
And Bobby's twin sister.
They thought it was the best.
252
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,454
Really? I...
253
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,289
Oh, my God.
254
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,326
So, tell me exactly
what's missing, Mr. Tupper.
255
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,727
That's what I'm trying
to explain to you.
256
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:49,962
Nothing is missing.
257
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,402
Everything's just been,
258
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:58,038
you know, moved around.
259
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,172
I mean, that bed
should be in the bedroom.
260
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,306
And this bookcase
should be right... right here.
261
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,142
I kinda like it better this way.
262
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,544
It does open the place up,
to tell you the truth.
263
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,647
Wait a minute.
That's not all. Look at this.
264
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,049
See, someone's been
sleeping in my bed.
265
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,851
Well, if she's been
sitting in your chair
and eating your porridge,
266
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,620
I think we've got a description.
267
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,989
I hate soldiers and policemen
268
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,626
and everyone who's mean
to somebody else.
269
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,528
Very funny.
Well, I...
270
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,296
Hey, Dad. Look at this.
271
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:25,165
What... what is this?
Romeo and Juliet.
272
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,966
It's a play.
273
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,702
"To Martin,
my star-crossed lover."
274
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,970
I pledge thee my troth.
275
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,272
Your beloved Nora.”
276
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:39,212
Who's Nora, Dad?
277
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,781
She's a manic depressive
278
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,316
with a pronounced
homicidal drive.
279
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,217
She's just a fan,
280
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,318
a fan who's obsessed with me
because I host a TV show.
281
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,053
Aha!
Book Beat.
282
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,888
It's on Channel Q.
283
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:51,291
It's either 26 or 58,
284
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,625
depending on your cable system.
285
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:53,760
Mr. Tupper,
n... nothing personal.
286
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,128
I'm sure you have
a lot of on-screen charisma.
287
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,496
Now, why is she stalking you
288
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,997
instead of, like,
Jerry Van Dyke?
289
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,367
I...
290
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,668
I don't know why! She just is.
291
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,403
Mr. Tupper,
I'll be honest with you.
292
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,071
Uh, redecorating is not yet
a crime in New York.
293
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,674
Some people have been known
to pay for this service.
294
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,209
So unless we can prove
that she's a danger to you,
295
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,012
there's nothing we can do.
296
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:15,415
I've got to stop her.
297
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,851
Okay.
298
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,119
Let's take another call.
299
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,223
Hello. You're on Book Beat.
300
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,424
Darling, it's me.
301
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,759
I'm sorry to bother you,
302
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,461
but you have
a little piece of lint fuzz
303
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:29,629
on your left shoulder.
304
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:30,930
I thought I should let you know.
305
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,099
There.
306
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,234
Now, Nora, please, just...
307
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,835
just stop it.
308
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,307
Leave me alone.
309
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,078
You seem awfully tense.
Is anything wrong?
310
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,246
You're crazy, lady.
311
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,847
Yeah, something's wrong!
312
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,849
What is it, darling?
You're crazy.
313
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:51,518
Stop calling me darling!
Just stop calling me, period.
314
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,086
Now, goodbye.
315
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,255
Hello. You're on Book Beat.
316
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,724
Darling, we were meant
to be together
like Romeo and Juliet,
317
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:58,757
Heathcliff and Catherine,
Caesar and Cleopatra.
318
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,800
Those were not the healthiest
of relationships.
319
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,836
Nora, I don't love you!
320
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:13,006
Of course you do.
We have so much in common.
321
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,108
We both love literature.
322
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,110
We've shared a bed.
What?
323
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,946
Okay, your apartment
is a little messy,
324
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,481
but I can live with that.
325
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,683
Stop it, Nora! Just stop it!
326
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:25,685
Don't do this, Martin!
327
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,120
Don't throw our love away.
328
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,855
Leave me alone!
329
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,123
This concludes the audience
participation segment
330
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,691
of our program.
331
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:32,926
Thank you.
332
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,437
I don't think you should do
the show anymore.
333
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:46,039
Not do the show?
334
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:47,374
You must go on
335
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,779
because you have a talent,
336
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,048
and you will never be happy
337
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:56,683
unless you express that talent.
338
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,051
Don't you think
you're overreacting here?
339
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,552
Martin, this woman obviously
has a fragile connection
to the real world.
340
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,788
She confuses it with the images
she sees on television.
341
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,690
It could happen to anyone.
342
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:06,926
Bit by bit,
she's insinuating herself
343
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,929
into your life,
and she's getting closer.
344
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,264
Well, hey, I could
give up the show, I could.
345
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,233
But I'm not gonna let one
slightly overenthusiastic fan
346
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,135
ruin it
for all my other viewers.
347
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,971
Oh!
348
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,840
It's your ego that's suffering.
349
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,676
Here, look at this.
350
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,843
"Rump roast,
$1.99 at Shop Time."
351
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,980
No. Here.
352
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,982
"Book Beat host,
Martin Tupper is a good guide
353
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,484
"to the world of books," you see?
354
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,187
It's not about me. It's about...
355
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,823
Guiding people
to the world of books.
356
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,458
Exactly!
357
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,360
Good evening,
and welcome to Book Beat.
358
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,529
Our guest this evening
is security expert
359
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,963
Randall Crew,
360
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,675
author of
Get the Other Guy First.
361
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:58,044
Randall...
362
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,179
tell us a little something
about the book.
363
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,915
The premise, as such,
is very simple.
364
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:03,849
There's no situation,
no matter how threatening,
365
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,053
that you, the individual,
cannot handle.
366
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,590
Nobody move! I got a bomb!
367
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,093
Theoretically.
368
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,295
You must be Nora.
Uh-huh.
369
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,565
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
370
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,598
Oh, come on!
371
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,702
You don't really have a bomb.
372
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:24,738
Oh, no? Get a load of this!
373
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,473
Looks pretty good to me.
374
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,208
Thank you. I made it myself.
375
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,210
Okay. Okay.
Everybody just... just stay calm!
376
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,444
If it was me, I'd just want
to get out of there fast.
377
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,246
Just take it easy.
378
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,316
One more step,
379
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:39,652
and I'll blow us all
to kingdom come!
380
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:41,554
That's a literary term.
This is an emergency.
381
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:42,956
Look, you've got to get
someone down there right away.
382
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,758
Q. Channel Q.
383
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:49,662
I... it's either 26 or... or 58,
384
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,865
depending on your...
your cable system.
385
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,034
Wait!
Hurry!
386
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,236
Okay, in 27 minutes,
387
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,904
we'll be history.
388
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,406
But if you try anything funny,
389
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,779
all I have to do
is push this button.
390
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,913
No, no, no, no. No.
391
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,415
Okay, Nora, just stay calm.
392
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,250
Tell me what you want.
393
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,484
I want you to nibble on my neck
394
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:15,155
while you read the collected
works of Herman Melville.
395
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,058
I want to make
desperate love to you
396
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,594
on top of the remaindered copies
of Sidney Sheldon's
latest novel.
397
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,797
No, please, don't.
398
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,699
Don't make me do that.
I want you to be my boyfriend!
399
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:29,135
You two look
pretty good together.
400
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,371
You make a nice couple.
Absolutely.
401
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:34,107
Okay.
402
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,942
I'm your boyfriend.
No, you're not!
403
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,044
Sweetheart,
how can you say that?
404
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:39,179
I mean, you're...
you're important to me,
405
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,782
and I... I care about you.
406
00:19:42,816 --> 00:19:44,484
Oh, sure, now that I got a bomb!
You don't love me.
407
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,786
You said it on TV last night.
I got it on videotape.
408
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:48,788
Why don't we just close
our eyes to the facts
409
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:51,491
and nobody'll know
the difference.
Now what do you say?
410
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,128
But that was before I met you.
411
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:57,130
You see, now we can
get to know each other.
412
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,332
Uh...
413
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,234
do you have any hobbies?
414
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,371
I mean, other than explosives?
415
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,404
Hold it, lady!
I'm his wife.
416
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,575
Was his wife. Ex-wife.
417
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,344
Look,
I'm a trained psychologist.
418
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,152
We've only got 19 minutes.
419
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,487
Listen to me, Nora.
This is between you and me.
420
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,155
If... if you set this bomb off,
421
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,823
you'll be killing
innocent people.
422
00:20:23,857 --> 00:20:27,293
He's got a point there.
He's right.
423
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,928
Absolutely.
424
00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:30,330
Okay. Then get out.
425
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,998
Now! Not you!
426
00:20:32,032 --> 00:20:33,633
Just sit there!
427
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,635
Nora.
428
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:39,072
Do you really want
to blow us both up?
429
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,208
Oh, yeah, if I can't have you,
then nobody can.
430
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,376
And if you die,
I have nothing to live for.
431
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,680
I can't argue with you on that.
432
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,449
But there are lots
of other guys out there.
433
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,085
I mean you'll...
you'll find someone else.
434
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,553
I don't want someone else.
435
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,622
I want you. You're important.
436
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,624
You're on television.
437
00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:58,958
Well... well,
sure, I'm on television,
438
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:00,794
but I... it's really no big deal.
439
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,028
I mean, look,
you're on TV right now too.
440
00:21:02,062 --> 00:21:03,630
That's only
because I'm gonna blow you up.
441
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,331
You're the one with the TV show.
442
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,534
I'm just like a special
guest star or something.
443
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,369
But you could have
your own show,
444
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,004
and then someone wonderful
might obsess about you.
445
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:14,708
Well, I wouldn't know
how to host a television show.
446
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,176
Oh, sure, you could.
447
00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:19,579
I'll help you.
448
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,716
How 'bout that, Nora?
449
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,117
Just... just look at the camera.
450
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,785
See?
451
00:21:25,819 --> 00:21:27,320
Yeah. That's it.
452
00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:30,256
Hello, I'm Martin Tupper...
453
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,825
and, uh...
454
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:33,526
And...
455
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,664
Oh, and I'm Nora Abramowitz.
456
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:40,100
I can shorten it
for the listings.
457
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,103
And this is
the Nora Abramowitz Show.
458
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,071
Tell us a little something
about yourself, Nora.
459
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:47,707
Okay.
460
00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:50,010
Well, I've worked
at Dellman Books
461
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:53,880
for the last 15 years.
462
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,482
I saw Martin Tupper
on television.
463
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,817
I fell in love with him,
464
00:21:57,851 --> 00:21:59,919
he ignored me,
and my life turned to shit.
465
00:21:59,953 --> 00:22:02,255
Okay.
466
00:22:02,288 --> 00:22:03,690
And, uh, I'm Martin Tupper,
467
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,993
and I'm basically
being held hostage here.
468
00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:08,128
Why don't we go to a call?
469
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:10,764
One moment, please.
470
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:12,932
Please.
471
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:15,969
Is the caller there?
Nora, my name is Judith.
472
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:21,174
I know what you're feeling.
You're carrying around
a lot of anger toward this man.
473
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,347
Out of the way!
Yeah, what's the point, caller?
474
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:34,354
Oh, good, I thought
he'd be toast by now.
Shh!
475
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:39,993
Nora, I know what it is
to have your hopes shattered.
476
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,629
I was married to Martin.
477
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:44,764
At first,
I thought he was wonderful.
478
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:49,936
And when I discovered
most of that was fantasy,
479
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,504
I... I harbored great anger
480
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,606
and, yes,
even thoughts of revenge.
481
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,875
Thank you for your enthusiasm
and your help.
482
00:22:55,909 --> 00:22:58,178
But I worked through
my anger, Nora,
483
00:22:58,211 --> 00:23:00,547
and today I'm in
a much healthier relationship,
484
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:03,216
and you can be too.
485
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:05,919
Now, your first step to recovery
486
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:09,389
is to disconnect the bomb.
487
00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:10,924
Well,
488
00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:13,193
that's certainly
one point of view.
489
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:16,262
Thanks for calling.
Let's take another caller.
490
00:23:16,296 --> 00:23:17,697
Coming through.
Excuse me.
491
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:19,499
Go ahead, caller.
You're on the air.
492
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:22,102
I heard about it on the news.
493
00:23:23,136 --> 00:23:24,571
There's two minutes to go.
494
00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:26,306
Oh, my God.
495
00:23:26,339 --> 00:23:27,540
Well,
496
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,875
Judith, Toby, this is Corinne.
497
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,076
You brought a date
to a hostage crisis?
498
00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:33,179
Well, caller,
499
00:23:33,213 --> 00:23:35,515
it sounds like you're in
a bad relationship too,
500
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:38,885
but you don't have
to make a bomb.
501
00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:41,654
There are lots of other ways
to eliminate your partner.
502
00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:43,923
You can read about most of them
at your local public library.
503
00:23:43,957 --> 00:23:46,059
Just ask your librarian
for help.
504
00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,294
Oh, yeah.
And don't let them pull
that card catalogue shit either.
505
00:23:48,328 --> 00:23:51,131
'Cause that's what
they're there for.
506
00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:52,766
Nora, please.
We've got 30 seconds left.
507
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:57,637
Oh. Right.
508
00:23:57,671 --> 00:23:59,839
I'm sorry.
That's all the time we have.
509
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:03,710
I'm Nora Abramowitz saying
510
00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:04,811
good night and good reading.
511
00:24:05,979 --> 00:24:08,081
No, wait! Wait.
512
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:10,183
Nora.
513
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:12,986
You know, you were wonderful.
514
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,287
And I've... I've got some...
some great ideas
515
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,622
for tomorrow night's show.
516
00:24:15,655 --> 00:24:17,590
Martin, tomorrow night
517
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,926
they'll still be scraping us
off the walls.
518
00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:21,094
But...
I'm sorry,
but nothing's changed.
519
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:22,395
You still don't love me.
520
00:24:22,429 --> 00:24:24,330
I mean, we had
a good time tonight,
521
00:24:24,364 --> 00:24:26,833
but come on,
it was just television.
522
00:24:26,866 --> 00:24:28,535
Say good night, Martin.
523
00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,036
In ten, nine,
524
00:24:30,070 --> 00:24:33,039
eight, seven,
525
00:24:33,073 --> 00:24:34,207
six, five,
526
00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:40,113
four, three,
527
00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:42,115
two...
528
00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:44,250
Good night.
Goodbye.
529
00:24:44,284 --> 00:24:46,486
Goodbye, darling.
Goodbye, Hanky.
530
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:47,821
One.
531
00:24:47,854 --> 00:24:49,122
Hmm.
532
00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:51,124
Red goes to red.
533
00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,192
I'm experiencing
technical difficulties.
534
00:24:58,565 --> 00:24:59,565
Please stand by.
535
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,869
I will not die.
536
00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:06,139
I got the button!
I got the button!
537
00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:08,008
Martin!
Oh, thank God you're all right!
Oh, you had us worried, pal!
538
00:25:08,041 --> 00:25:09,042
For a minute there, I thought
I was gonna have to pick you up
with a DustBuster.
539
00:25:12,412 --> 00:25:14,414
Mr. Tupper! Mr. Tupper!
540
00:25:14,447 --> 00:25:17,984
Whoa, whoa!
Give the man a break!
541
00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:21,154
He's just been through
a terrible ordeal.
542
00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,555
Martin, man,
if you need to talk about it,
I'm right here for you.
543
00:25:22,589 --> 00:25:24,190
Is tomorrow's show okay?
Martin. We're a hit!
544
00:25:24,224 --> 00:25:26,026
Channel 9 just called.
They want to pick up the show.
545
00:25:26,059 --> 00:25:28,661
Channel 9, Martin!
That's a number!
546
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:30,730
I'll be watching.
547
00:25:30,764 --> 00:25:33,199
I'm sorry, Terri, you're gonna
have to find another host.
548
00:25:33,233 --> 00:25:35,568
But I'm sure there are
millions of people
549
00:25:35,602 --> 00:25:37,270
who would kill to be...
On television.
550
00:25:38,405 --> 00:25:40,774
Terrorized
for your viewing pleasure.
551
00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,676
Let... let's get out of here.
38528
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof