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1
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,199
"To Olivia.
2
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:42,068
Keep watching, love you,
3
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,837
Eddie Charles."
4
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,038
There you go, honey.
5
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:46,673
And make sure you catch
tomorrow's show,
6
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:48,842
People Who Think
They're Jesus Christ.
7
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,878
Any guests or just you?
Oh, give me a break.
8
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:54,714
No, it's gonna be a great show,
we found this guy in Cleveland,
9
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,384
does this thing
with loaves and fishes.
10
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,985
How do you get away
with this stuff?
11
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,954
What can I say?
The people love me.
12
00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:02,889
Hey, mister, you have the time?
13
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,658
He seems like a nice young man.
14
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,261
11:30.
15
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,031
Nice watch. Can I have it?
16
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,104
We don't want any trouble.
17
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,934
Hey. It's Eddie Charles.
18
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:16,569
Yeah.
19
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,171
Well, now that that's settled...
20
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,873
Give us your fuckin' money.
21
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:21,174
Okay, okay.
22
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,509
What's your problem, man?
23
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,210
Maybe we don't like
his fuckin' show.
24
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:27,047
So much for the people.
Shh. Under control.
25
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,549
Yo, bro, how about
coppin' a chill pill,
26
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:31,785
and lettin' me
and homeboy slide?
27
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:35,922
William, did you notice
that Eddie Charles
is a Black man?
28
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,158
My goodness, Porter,
you're right.
29
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,360
Get his fuckin' ring!
Well, that worked well.
30
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,428
Run!
31
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,863
Go, go, go.
32
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:44,964
Down here! Down here!
33
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,399
Down here! Down here! Down here!
34
00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,204
Oh, this is much better.
35
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,842
Now, listen, stranger.
This is a peaceful town.
36
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,712
All right,
now you're really in trouble.
37
00:02:58,745 --> 00:02:59,879
Yeah, we know.
38
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,450
Look, man, I... I did
a show on street crime.
39
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,684
I understand how you feel.
40
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,119
This is just
a desperate cry for...
41
00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,254
help!
42
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,489
I can't believe this.
43
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,724
Eighteen years in New York,
44
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,392
and I've never been mugged.
45
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,627
Oh. I'm sorry.
46
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,563
But you are too kind.
47
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,231
I just...
48
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,201
Maybe you should get
the whole experience.
49
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,944
Come on, man. Let's go!
50
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,884
You make me so mad, I...
51
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,820
I could just sit right down here
and cry my fool head off.
52
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,355
Fuck!
53
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,463
Okay, you got
your screamers over here,
54
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:53,366
and you got your mace over here.
55
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,601
Anything else?
56
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:58,104
Uh, you got any
of those stick-jobbies
57
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,673
with the chain and the balls?
58
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,675
Yeah, or maybe one
of those brass-knuckle things.
59
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,077
Yeah, with really big spikes.
Yeah.
60
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:07,380
Listen, gentlemen,
you wanna keep the creeps
out of your face?
61
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,483
Let me show you something
in a nice. 45 automatic.
62
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,686
No, forget it. No guns.
63
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,989
Except for maybe those,
uh, electrical zapper-things.
64
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,390
Do you carry any of those?
65
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,993
Yeah, or something
that maybe makes a big flash,
66
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:22,429
you know, like, to... to create
a diversion, how about that?
67
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:25,165
Snub-nosed. 38
makes a good flash.
68
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,701
Also leaves
a hole about yea big.
69
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,969
No. No guns. I don't want a gun.
70
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,439
I don't like guns.
People get hurt.
71
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,141
Maybe a really
big stick, you know?
72
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,477
You just mash!
73
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,150
All right,
class, mugging situation.
74
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,719
What should
Mr. Tepler have done?
75
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:48,521
Tupper.
Waste the scumbag.
76
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,657
Good. Now, Mr. Tuber.
Tupper.
77
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,992
Please explain just
how you were attacked.
78
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,161
About 500 yards
further on toward the knob,
79
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,963
we started getting
mortar and plenty of it.
80
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:58,198
We turned around to head back,
81
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,133
we ran smack
into a Gooney combat unit.
82
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,002
He sort of came at me...
Wait.
83
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,737
Class? What should I do?
84
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,172
Rip his balls off!
85
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:09,342
Possibly, or I can reach over,
grab the pinkie,
86
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,778
and twist
with a swift outward motion.
87
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,948
This is
your first lesson, class.
88
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,650
"P" is for "pinkie."
"P" for "pain."
89
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,520
Get to the pinkie, cause pain.
90
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:23,056
Thank you, Mr. Tobler.
No problem.
91
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:25,992
Now, Mr. Charles,
let's review your situation.
92
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,862
Uh... Um, you know,
I think you pretty much
93
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,463
covered it with Mr. Tingler.
94
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:33,400
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
95
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,969
Ah, okay,
then hand-to-hand drills, class.
96
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,303
Everybody find a partner.
97
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,915
Geez, you're still limping?
98
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,750
You ever been kicked
with orthopedic shoes?
99
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,118
Excuse me, do you have the time?
100
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,186
No!
101
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,124
See? Just don't talk to anybody.
102
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,292
Absolutely.
Yeah.
103
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,795
Excuse me.
Aren't you Eddie Charles?
104
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,663
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
105
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,799
God, that's so cool. Hey.
106
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,571
It can't be starting again.
107
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,141
Okay, assholes. Money!
108
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,877
Oh, money? Sure. No problem.
109
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,747
What the fuck are you doing?
Nothing. Nothing.
110
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,849
You, uh... You guys like music?
111
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,118
Hey!
What the fuck are you doing?
112
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,353
Going for the pinkie!
113
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,189
Giving him my wallet.
114
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,225
Thank you.
115
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:37,063
Okay, okay, I'm sorry
about the pinkie thing.
116
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,298
Now, don't worry.
117
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,833
The chances
of being hit on the head
118
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,634
by one of them
are pretty remote.
119
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,404
It's okay.
120
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,272
Whoa! Whoa! Not the nose.
121
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,479
Thank you.
122
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,916
Goddamn it!
123
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,653
I want the biggest
fucking gun you've got.
124
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,127
Let me see the second biggest.
125
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,792
If I were in your place,
I'd be scared to death too.
126
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,134
Oh, put that thing away.
127
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:51,771
You... you can't
go around shooting people.
128
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,040
It isn't civilized.
129
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,224
A man's gotta know
how to protect himself.
130
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:31,745
I think
they're real works of art,
131
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,446
full of ingenious
little devices.
132
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,920
You got a gun.
133
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,189
Use it.
134
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,697
Oh, the time?
135
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:54,234
Yeah. It's about, um, 11:30.
136
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,817
I might have to
deputize him to help out.
137
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,085
He's so handy with a gun.
138
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,420
He sure is.
139
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,123
Hey, Dad.
140
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:18,224
Ah, Jeremy.
141
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,861
Hey, where'd you get the gun?
142
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,198
Uh... Gun store.
143
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,734
Is it for you?
No. No, not really.
144
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,205
Well, yeah, uh... It...
145
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,642
Jeremy, we have to talk.
146
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:36,910
Sit down.
147
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,583
Jeremy, I want you
to listen to me
148
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:44,784
very carefully.
149
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,355
This gun is not a toy.
150
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,623
You never let me
play with toy guns anyway.
151
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,525
Right.
You hate guns.
152
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:56,563
Right, so... so you are never,
ever, ever to touch this gun.
153
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,764
Okay.
Ever.
154
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,899
Because this is
a very dangerous weapon.
155
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,267
Dad, I know.
156
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,103
Scotty Fenniman's dad had a gun,
157
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:06,373
and Scotty and his little sister
were playing with it one day,
158
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,075
and they had an accident,
they shot their dog.
159
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,679
I'm really glad
we don't have a dog, Dad.
160
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,684
Well, okay, just...
just so you understand.
161
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,219
So, are you gonna shoot it?
162
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,588
No. No.
This is not for shooting.
163
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,923
It's for protection.
Oh.
164
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,827
You know, Richard says that guns
cut off any possibility
for a meaningful dialogue.
165
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,630
Well, you know, Richard's
166
00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:32,799
a very bright guy,
let's see what he has to say
167
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,510
after he's been mugged
a couple of times, okay?
168
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:35,635
Dad, he was mugged.
169
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,003
Oh.
170
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,917
Well, actually,
it was more of a hostage crisis.
171
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,207
But Richard was able to
convince the gunmen
172
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,342
to let go of the tour group
173
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,943
and not to blow up
the Parthenon.
174
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,445
When did this happen?
175
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,980
When Mom and Richard
were in Greece.
176
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,616
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
He did this in Greek?
177
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,785
Well, he had to,
after they killed
the translator.
178
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:56,189
But Jeremy, not every situation
is solved that easily, okay?
179
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,924
This is an extremely
dangerous city,
180
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,859
and I've decided
that having a gun is...
181
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,228
is the right thing for me to do.
182
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,406
I feel better knowing I have it,
183
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,740
and I'm comfortable
with my decision.
184
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,099
Okay.
So just do me one favor.
185
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:07,167
Sure.
186
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,336
Don't tell your mother.
187
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,685
If that's the way you want it,
Mr. Collins.
188
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,415
Don't go out there.
189
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,984
Danger waits outside.
190
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,819
Sit down, young man.
191
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,150
You're face-to-face
with an enemy now.
192
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,419
It's no longer a question
of who's right or wrong,
193
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,454
but who'll survive.
194
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,467
TV repair?
195
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,669
Okay, freeze!
196
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,538
I'm holding a 65-pound TV.
197
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,015
What do you think
I'm gonna do? Mambo?
198
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:56,076
Okay, put up your hands,
and... and, uh, put down the TV.
199
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,386
Can I do it
in the other order, man?
200
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,312
'Cause if I do it
in the way you say,
201
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,890
you're not gonna like
what happen to your set.
202
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,682
You know what I mean.
203
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,250
Okay to unfreeze?
204
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,421
Ah, ah, back on the stand,
back on the stand.
205
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,391
I am not your maid.
206
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,560
I put the TV back
on the stand, the next thing,
207
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,161
you're gonna have me
rearranging chairs.
208
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,364
If I feel like it, yeah.
209
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,566
I hate home owners with guns.
210
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,969
It really takes the fun
out of my work, you know?
211
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,174
I think I better go.
212
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,143
No, no, no.
Put your hands on your head.
213
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,745
Put your hands on your head!
214
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,180
Wow.
215
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,550
This is like a really bad
game of Simon Says.
216
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:41,488
You know, Miranda told me
not to go out tonight.
217
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,824
Ramon, she said...
218
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,926
All right, All right!
219
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,729
What the fuck
are you doing in my apartment?
220
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:53,199
I'm the spot inspector
for the electric company.
221
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,502
You know, you got far too many
appliances around here.
222
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,171
Don't give me that shit.
You're a burglar.
223
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,907
So it was a trick question?
224
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,643
You know,
I had teachers like you, man.
225
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,080
It's not a good idea to pull
a gun on a burglar, mm-mm.
226
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:11,317
Don't you watch TV?
What if I have a bigger gun?
227
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:13,887
Do you?
228
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,200
Do you think I'm gonna tell you?
229
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,466
I mean, you shouldn't even have
one of those in your house.
230
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:18,892
Oh, spare me, will ya?
231
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:20,493
Put them up! Put them up!
232
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,995
I'm not kidding, man.
233
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,863
Shit happens.
234
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,598
Like, uh...
235
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,967
Like you get in a little
fight with your woman.
236
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,502
You know how it is.
237
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,705
She's really
getting under your skin.
238
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:34,841
So you pull out
a gun, and blammo! Ha!
239
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:37,844
You got a wife?
240
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,512
Used to.
241
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,781
Ah, so you know
what I'm talking about.
242
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,483
Do you, uh...
243
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,185
Do you mind if I, uh, sit down?
244
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,252
Sit down!
245
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,320
Thank you.
246
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,490
Or what if
your kid picks it up, eh?
247
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,727
He's playing with his friends,
a little RoboCop.
248
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:58,131
"Surrender your weapon,"
and blammo!
249
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,570
You know, good-looking kid.
250
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,538
Stay away from my kid!
251
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,008
You want my advice?
No.
252
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,578
In situations like these,
you lie down on the floor,
253
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:12,891
and you let me take what I want.
254
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,583
The TV, a little silverware.
255
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,018
You got homeowners?
256
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,953
Yeah, I got homeowners.
257
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:22,355
You see? No problem.
258
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,524
Look, I'll tell you what.
259
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,093
I'm just gonna go.
260
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,995
It was really nice
talking to you, man.
261
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,531
Oh, no, no, no.
No, you're not going anywhere.
262
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,401
I'm calling the cops.
I've been mugged twice.
263
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,370
Ah, no wonder
you're so moody. Sheesh.
264
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,839
Hello.
There's a murderer here.
265
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:41,074
Oh, please, hurry.
266
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,342
What?
267
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,445
Oh, okay, well, never mind.
268
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,547
I dialed information.
269
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,316
You were tense, you know,
it's a stressful situation.
270
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,384
Yeah.
271
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,520
Hello, police?
272
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:02,062
Hey, Marty,
how about something to eat, eh?
273
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,830
I'm not gonna feed you.
274
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,966
Okay. Up to you.
275
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:12,205
I could get
a little faint, pass out,
maybe hit my head on the table.
276
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,573
You could have a nasty lawsuit.
277
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,375
I got
a pretty slick uptown lawyer.
278
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,143
I'll bet.
279
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:26,086
Maybe just a saltine?
280
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,420
No.
281
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,155
And what a silly thing to ask.
282
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,325
You like peanut butter?
I'm afraid all I got is smooth.
283
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,327
What am I gonna do,
hold out for chunky?
284
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,131
Hey, hey, hey! Watch it, man.
285
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,666
That's dangerous, you know?
286
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,669
You make the sandwiches.
287
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,082
What a night, eh?
288
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,755
You got a knife?
289
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,365
Whoa, whoa.
No. No knives. No knives.
290
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,601
What do you
want me to use, my fingers?
291
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,240
Use the spoon.
292
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,883
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!
293
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,551
Not too much jelly on mine.
294
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,259
Anyway, that...
that was about a year ago.
295
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:43,730
And she married
Richard Stone? Hmm.
296
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,232
You know him?
297
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,337
Runs a clinic uptown.
Saved my baby brother's life.
298
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,174
He ate a bunch of those,
uh... those kitchen magnets,
299
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,052
you know, the ones
that look like little fruits?
300
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,210
Mm-hmm.
301
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:02,082
Well, later, man.
Thanks for the snack, eh?
302
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:03,950
W... wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
303
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,552
Where are you going?
304
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,754
Home. Miranda will be worried.
305
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,890
No, you're not. Sit down.
306
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,259
Look,
307
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,495
I... I thought
we shared something.
308
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,765
We made sandwiches.
309
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:22,502
A... and now you're gonna
send your friend Ramon to jail.
310
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,270
I'm getting
a guilt trip from a burglar.
311
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,239
I don't believe this shit.
Now just sit down.
312
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,375
Marty.
313
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,310
You're really
starting to bum me out here.
314
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,545
Now, I'm just gonna go...
315
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,315
before I get
really depressed, okay?
316
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,717
Hey. Hey!
Get away from that door!
317
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:38,952
Marty, please.
318
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,153
Get over here...
319
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,821
Shit!
320
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,323
Ah, you shot me!
321
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,824
Oh, Jesus.
322
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:46,192
I didn't know what I was doing.
323
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,230
Help me, I can't believe
you shot me, man.
324
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:52,665
I didn't even pull the trigger.
It just went off!
325
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,535
Bullshit,
it just went off, you shot me.
326
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,179
Well, you were
moving around and everything.
327
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,938
Oh, yeah,
like I'm some dangerous guy?
328
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,508
Ow! Fuck! Ow!
Is it bad?
329
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,944
Oh, God, man!
330
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,846
Ow!
Oh, man!
331
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,824
Oh, let me... Let me get you
a towel or something.
332
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,183
Just don't go anywhere.
333
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,352
You wanna shoot me
in the leg just to be sure?
334
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,356
Oh, G...
Oh, God.
335
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,725
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It... it was an accident.
336
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,637
It's not a fucking accident,
I told you something like this
was gonna happen.
337
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,497
Tupper, NYPD.
338
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,400
Uh, well...
339
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:32,138
Mr. Tupper,
I'm Sergeant Vanzetti, this is...
340
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,007
Gun!
Freeze! Get your hands up!
341
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,308
Don't shoot!
342
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,478
Don't!
343
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,746
Thank God you're here,
344
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,548
this... this man
is a menace to society.
345
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,083
No, no, no!
346
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:44,660
This... this guy
broke into my apartment,
347
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,329
and we had sandwiches,
and the gun just went off.
348
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,788
It was an accident,
I never meant to shoot him.
349
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:50,357
See, he...
he wouldn't stand still.
350
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,310
Now, just calm down,
calm down, let me have this.
351
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:54,694
Thank you.
352
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,764
Nice gun. New?
353
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,666
Ouch!
Could you help him?
354
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,434
I mean, look at...
He's in bad shape.
355
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,069
Oh, no. That's not bad shape.
356
00:20:03,103 --> 00:20:05,839
The other day, there was a guy,
took a slug from a. 45,
357
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,374
hole in his chest
this big around.
358
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,608
That's bad shape.
359
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,986
Guys, could you
do something for him?
360
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,945
Look at him, he's bleeding
all over the place.
361
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,422
Oh, no, I'll give you
"all over the place."
362
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,315
Remember
the Korean deli on Third?
363
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,450
Two guys with shotguns,
the owner's got an Uzi.
364
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:20,153
We were there
six, seven hours
with the forensic boys,
365
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:22,489
pulling little chunks of guys
out from the canned goods.
366
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,491
Ooh, now,
that is "all over the place."
367
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,259
It's gonna be okay.
368
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:28,661
Ow! Ow!
You know what was really gross?
369
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:31,064
Port Authority, New Year's Eve.
Ooh.
370
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:33,767
Fingers hanging
all over the place,
body parts, the stench?
371
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,036
Ah, I wanted to get home.
372
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,637
Okay, guys, move him out.
373
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,141
You're gonna be okay?
374
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,777
Maybe next time
you come to my house.
375
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,045
Bring the TV, eh?
376
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,381
Don't do this anymore.
You too.
377
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:49,449
Come on, let's go.
378
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,296
Well, Mr. Tupper,
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to confiscate your weapon.
379
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,356
Oh, just
take it, really, it's okay.
380
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,124
You know, you might
wanna pick up a new one.
381
00:20:58,158 --> 00:21:00,060
No, no, one was enough.
382
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,729
You sure?
See, the other night
on the "D" train, this guy...
383
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,097
Good night.
384
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,899
Hey, it's
a tough world out there.
385
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:09,269
Yeah. Yeah, I... I know.
386
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,537
All right, sleep well.
387
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,238
Think about that gun.
388
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,887
Now, look, you hammerhead,
it ain't the gun that matters.
389
00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:29,689
It's the man that counts.
27644
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