Original subtitles

Oh, there was a happy farmer, as horny as can be, Had three daughters that he

called his family.

And a wife who was as pretty as a farmer's wife can be, She fulfilled his

barnyard fantasy.

Now the girls were cute and frilly, as feisty as clams, If he hadn't

been so busy with his own exes.

to learn them gals had barnyard fantasies.

They would watch the cows and chickens with the bulls and cocks.

Learning how to make a good time stay.

Cause there's more than hugs and kissing to rolling in the hay.

Lots of fun for all in Barnyard Fantasies.

Oh my, she's a pretty one. Look at that old gal.

There was Fred the hired hand who lusted for them girls, one in the panties of

all three.

But before our story's over, he'll have himself a world as he lives through all

his barnyard fantasies.

Yeah.

Not now, shit.

Not in the middle of the day.

Shit, well, when I get horny, I want what's mine. Now, we're gonna fuck.

You old goat.

You never want to fuck when I do.

Besides, I got pies in the oven. Forget them pies. I'm putting the meat in the

oven as soon as I spread your legs.

That's better. Oh, a little wider.

Yeah.

Oh, now stop it.

Stop it, chap.

Oh.

Oh, how can I resist you?

That thing is so big and juicy.

Yeah, there's no need to talk dirty. Just take this tool and put it where it

belongs. Hot damn, I'm hot and ready for it.

Slow now, now. Take it slow.

Sex is like bacon. It all depends on how well you grease the pan.

Grease, hell, a little spit and patience is all it takes. Now, here we go.

Ooh.

Oh, my. Feel good?

Mm -mm -mm.

Yeah.

Oh, my.

Life in the old go -getter.

Oh, my.

Feel good?

Yeah. Oh, my.

Oh, man.

You're a wicked man.

I guess that's why I love you so much. Oh, give me some more poontang. I need

one more time.

Well, Shep, that's enough.

Ain't never enough.

I got one more shot in me and then a piece of pie and back to work.

Oh, shit.

mean nothing. I've watched them fuck plenty of times.

Get out of here, Fred Turner.

Don't know how to do nothing.

Always the same way.

Him on top.

Bust your mouth.

They'll hear us.

That'll spoil everything.

You can't learn nothing from them.

I suppose you could teach us a thing or two.

Oh, now you've done it. You went and spoiled everything.

Not quite.

Wise guy, it's your turn.

I think they caught Fred peeking in at the window. Oh, no. Oh, relax.

They're so innocent, they wouldn't know what's going on.

Fred!

See, honey, maybe the last one you're going to get.

Oh, his tongue must be bigger than his pants.

ever since you got here.

This is just a warning. If you ever try to tell Paul you've seen us watching

them, you're just a dreamer, Freddy, but you better just keep on dreaming,

honey, because you ate this pussy, but you're never going to fuck it. And you

fucked this pussy, but you ain't never going to eat it. And we sucked your

and next time we're going to bite it off.

away from here.

That's enough.

Ain't never enough.

I got one more shot in me and then a piece of pie and back to work.

Goddamn pie's probably turned black anyhow.

No, it ain't. I shut off the oven before we started.

You're a wicked man.

I guess that's why I love you so much. Oh, give me some more poontang. I need

one more time.

Ready, Butch?

shoot my load.

I told you everything would go all right if everyone cooperated.

What's he going to do?

Get him out on the lawn.

Get him out.

Get the old folks out here.

What are you going to do?

Just have a little fun. That's all. Just have a little fun.

Okay. Just do what I say and nobody gets hurt. All right? We're going to have a

little fun.

We're going to take you sweeties for a little ride across the state line.

And that's all there is to it. Whatever he says. They just escaped from the

state farm.

Convicts? That ain't a nice word.

Just... Call us underprivileged. Yeah, we didn't have a happy childhood like

kids. Yeah, we didn't get a chance to play no games.

So now we're making up for it now.

Oh, I'm scared.

Ain't nothing to be scared of. We're going to play nice, like you did down at

that pond.

What are you talking about, Beth?

Nothing, Mom.

Honest. It was nude swimming. You know, skinny dipping.

Hey, yeah. Can I dip into some of that skin?

No, you can't.

Never say no to it, Desperado. We're just going to play a few games. So let's

play Simon Says.

Hot damn.

You wanted to play the game so much.

Why don't you go ahead and be the leader?

Yeah, yeah.

Simon Says, all you guys, take off your pants.

Then Simon Says, all you girls, get on your knees. Yeah.

Come on, you girls, get on your knees and suck our cocks. Yeah, suck our

You heard me. Suck that cock.

They can't.

You didn't say Simon says.

Yeah, Simon says suck all our cocks. Or else Simon gonna tell Butch Day to blow

your brains out. Get on it, girl.

your legs for action!

hands and knees.

Come on. Simon says on your hands and knees.

And bark like the dogs you are.

Bark.

Bark. Bark.

Now Simon says on your hands and knees and we'll fuck them up to shit.

Fred, we'd better call the sheriff right away.

I told you I'd get even.

Nobody humiliates Fred Turner and gets away with it.

Fred, what in God's name are you doing? Shut up!

Fred, have you gone crazy? These guys are escaped convicts. Keep them covered.

I'll get the rope and we'll tie them up. Just give me the gun.

You want to play games?

Well, now I hold all the trumps. Don't!

Don't move any of you.

That includes you too, chef.

I've hated you all so long, this is gonna be a pleasure.

Chef, I want you to fuck Martha.

Excuse me, Simon says you gotta fuck Martha.

She spends half the time watching you fucking the old lady. She wants you to

know what it feels like.

You better get your rocks off.

And you keep that in...

I can see that you can shit your load with your baby girl.

Because if you don't, I'm going to blow your brains out. And Kate's too, if she

don't make me cum.

You're a lousy cocksucker, Kate, but I'll forgive you.

Beth, get over here and lick the crumb off your mother's face.

No. No.

It's not what Simon says anymore.

It's Fred said.

what you do to your mommy?

That's it.

Eat your mommy's pussy.

That's a good girl.

Oh, that's a good girl.

Your mommy loves that. I can believe that.

That's it. Keep sucking on her titties.

Keep going.

Come on, let's move.

And you have your pretty, pretty, pretty little daughters.

All sucking and stealing your tits.

Doesn't that feel good, Mama?

Hmm?

That's a bitch.

Good girl.

That's the way to do it.

Keep it up.

That's it.

Get that tongue in there, Mama.

Good.

That's the way.

You keep sucking your mama's cunt too, bitch.

I'm watching you.

That's it.

All right.

I'm ready to go.

You guys can get in on this.

Empty your bladders on these bitches.

You're calling the shots, friend.

I had to take a leak anyway.

You chimpies.

You bitches.

I'll get even for this.

I'll get even with you.

I swear I'll get even.

I'll get you off of this.

You fucking cunts.

Stop. Stop.

You ate this pussy, but you're never going to fuck it.

You fucked this pussy, but you ain't never going to eat it. We sucked your

but next time we're going to bite it off.

He's all covered with pee -pee.

Well, why don't we just clean him up a little bit, honey?

And I'll give you this.

What's up?