Original subtitles

I don't know why, but something about him gives me the creeps. No, I don't

why. Yeah, why?

The wine went right to your head because he gives your head to the back. Some

people insult the wife. Some people insult the wife.

A sad

night.

Flat champagne.

Dreams unfulfilled.

Shall we dance?

Sunland rhythms warm and satisfying.

Oh, the lady won't dance with me.

A hand yet beautiful, intelligent, a doctor of medicine, soon to be rich by

of prescription, and melancholy as a neglected housewife.

I swore an oath to someone.

What? Why, whom, and when?

Uh -huh.

Oh, fascinating.

A woman who knows how to keep a secret. It's fascinating.

But it's unbearable.

A secret is meant to be shared, or it's no fun. A secret yearns to be told.

It begs to be freed.

Can't you hear it cry out, free me from slavery? You win. I'll tell you.

Well, I swore vengeance against my father.

Oh, the poor man. He deserves it.

He abandoned my mother after getting her pregnant. Well, that's Bernard.

I mean, it often happens nowadays.

Yet I must say, I like the idea of revenge. Yes, it's a very spicy one.

Tell me about your revenge.

Here.

Wanted for the summer. Woman tutor, well -bred, good college education.

That's you. For a 17 -year -old girl, send references to Charles Leroy

Satellon Castle.

Andrea Place.

He's my father.

It's all settled.

I'm starting Monday.

Now, mark my words.

That sweet little sister of mine will be so perverted before I'm through with

her that my family won't get over the shame of it for ten generations.

You're a genius.

That's right. You're an absolute genius.

My friends, our doctor friend, whom you all know, is going to invest the whole

summer in a plan to ruin a man's reputation.

How beautiful. How grand.

It's immense.

Imperial.

Roman.

As for me, Baron Plessy du Regard, I have yet another scheme, the fallout of

which will serve the Commonwealth.

Let me explain.

We're all acquainted with Colonel Montpellier.

The vested interests of this country want him elected to Parliament.

I shall bring their effort to naught.

I knew that you would all approve, but I'll need the help of a woman, fearless

and brazen.

Are there any volunteers?

No,

no, that's far too many. I only need one.

But since so many are vying for the privilege, may I suggest a contest?

You'll each have 30 seconds, and the most perverse will get the job.

Show us, Lily.

Music, maestro, please.

Give her a good hand.

Now, this flow may have perverse, but you might fit slow.

I'm terribly sorry. Your 30 seconds are over.

Now, Mary Lou.

Some like their champagne at body temperature.

Hey, don't waste it.

Down the hatch.

I'm here

for Jordan. I thought you had no friends.

That's not bad.

Time's up.

Can I go on, huh? A round of applause for her.

Oh, isn't she great?

Oh,

one's left to take off.

I'll spend a night, a whole night, with anybody who'll vote for me.

Well,

that's the spirit.

You all heard her promise.

Ladies and gentlemen, Eliane is the winner.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. You do something to me. You do. You make me feel so... Come

here. No. Yes.

Yes, you must.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You must. It's mandatory.

You'll like it. No.

You could say it goes with the charm.

The butler holds a privilege in all good houses.

No.

That's it.

We must abide by age -old traditions, don't you think?

No.

You stop it.

And pick up the blue words. That's no way to behave.

Well, I won't be so nice next time.

Baron Plessy Durgard and Miss Eliane Lagler.

Please inform the colonel we're here.

Ah, a tutor with such breasts, a tutor with such... Oh, Baron!

Will you tutor me in the art of love? Baron!

Don't be a fool!

What have I done? I'm so sorry. Will you please forgive me? Oh, my life. My life

lies at your mercy. My name, my honor, my future. I do beg your pardon.

How

do

you do?

My friend the Baron, Plessy de Regarde, is the high regard for you.

He's the one who suggested...

I should hire a tutor for my son.

I believe a boy his age requires a good tutor.

Old traditions must be respected, don't you think?

Traditions are vital.

The matrix of future generations.

Miss Langler's family has been in my family's employ for over two centuries.

Despite the world's revolutions, her family remained totally faithful and

on serving mine.

We are the glorious past and the world's hope for tomorrow. Our devotion to the

high aims of our country sustains tradition in the light of the past.

Our tradition, our respect for the past and our respect for duty.

Our best defense against foreigners and Bolsheviks roaming our streets.

I know that you and your friends are fighting with great effectiveness

these foreigners.

We'll boot them out. The bastards, they're in for a big surprise.

Our party and its friends have worked out a plan.

Just wait till I'm elected.

Thanks to representatives like you, our country will retrieve its grandeur.

May I introduce the baron plus if you regard my wife Leonie de Montpellier I'm

delighted to meet you You are quite

pretty my dear child

So, you're Miss Juneau.

May I see your references?

Thank you.

Do you believe in God?

Of course I do.

You can't take it for granted anymore in this day and age.

I'd like to warn you right now that I won't stand for romance under my roof.

if you happen to have a...

Fiance. Tell him to wait till the end of the summer.

As a matter of fact, I have no fiance. That's fine.

That's fine.

Consider yourself hired, Miss Juno.

Here, Pietro, you be so kind as to load Miss Juno's luggage? Yes, sir.

Sophie.

is, well, quite exceptional.

She's pure, frank, open, and utterly honest.

She's an angel. She's 17.

Loves me.

Respects me.

I want my girl to remain as she is.

If she were to change, I simply couldn't bear it. I know how you feel, sir, and

I'll respect your wish.

You're hired simply to polish her education and teach her good manners.

But...

Put no newfangled ideas in her head.

Why, I shall respect your every wish.

Fine.

Here we are.

I'll switch on the light. Come in.

Here.

Now keep your room nice and neat, you hear?

I'm the one that cleans up around here.

Mm -hmm, and that's not all I do.

The laundry.

Um, the cooking.

And that makes three meals. And serve and do the dishes.

And don't expect me to spend an hour cleaning up after you. You hear, young

lady? I really don't have any time to spare.

Of course you do. You do. You do.

Come down, Charlie.

Please do me a favor.

You've got to put your cute little behind there.

There.

There.

What? Relax. Good boy.

Sure, sure, sure, sure. No, no. Please. Relax your legs.

No.

No.

Oh, please. Oh, Charlie.

Please. No.

He'd play a hooky from kindergarten.

He'll come.

The colonel expects you to join him downstairs the library man Did he say

the colonel expects you and if I may I'd suggest you come on the double if I may

What do you mean from the double means on the double?

If you'd better get yourself a glossary of army terms I'll be right down

Come in.

Ah, Miss Langler.

Sit down, will you?

Will you excuse me? I'm not quite presentable.

But I was going to bed.

I have traveled all over the world.

And believe me, next to some in the far reaches of the world, you're fully

dressed. I'm sure, Colonel.

But I wouldn't want you to believe me. That'll do.

A baron pletly to regard speaks very highly of you.

Nonetheless, I would like to underscore in my own words a certain number of

principles dear to my heart.

I devoted many years to the defense of our colonial empire.

Many of my men died right before my eyes, drowning in their own blood.

My whole life has been a battle, and I want my son to follow my ideals, even

wounded.

Decapitated, cut into pieces, I want him to be a winner.

Our generation managed to keep the empire.

What I want for my son is simple.

I want him to get it into his head that each generation must carve its own

niche.

This is the educational bible I go by.

It's an English book that I developed myself.

and distributed to every institution worthy of the name.

Extraordinary.

It's marvellous.

The English are a strange breed, but English education is an example of

effectiveness.

Of rigour. Of rigour, my child.

Of pragmatism.

That's the word.

Pragmatism.

The translation is close to perfection.

In one word, the translator in parts sums up a style of life, a science of

an understanding of life, will and purpose, the yardstick for all things,

all men.

I'd be very happy if you'd loan me this book so I could study it tonight.

It's a storehouse of principles I'd like to start applying as of tomorrow.

As it happens, I was... I wanted you to read it.

Well,

go to bed.

Every day is a battle that must be fought against art.

Domestics nowadays have strange manners. Pardon?

I didn't say a thing, but I find it disgusting.

Why do you let them go on like this? My husband likes needs, Albert.

As for myself, why are they having a bit of... Why should I upset the routine of

my house for a piccadilly?

Isn't Claudia upset?

I wouldn't wager on that.

Why,

it's not that unpleasant.

Unless, of course, things have changed since my young days.

Robert, would you be so kind as to help Claudia straighten out her clothes and

then brew me a drink of herbs and bring it to me?

If you please.

Right away, ma 'am.

He brought me back to life.

And as soon as I recovered my senses, ordered me to take my clothes off.

Trembling, I obeyed.

As soon as I found myself in the state of desire, one of them held me down.

The other... The other penetrated me.

Forcefully.

Driving in his organ to the hilt.

Go on.

You what?

Can't you read anymore?

Then keep reading.

Thriving in his organ to the hilt.

His organ, his organ to the hilt.

Then he cut a toe off each foot, made me sit down, and proceeded to pull a tooth

from my mouth.

Read on.

What do they put into her mouth?

I don't know. It doesn't say, ma 'am.

They whip her.

Then they brand her with an iron.

It's horrible.

No, I don't agree. It's not horrible.

It's painful.

And it's the subject of our lesson for today.

Pleasure and suffering.

The twin faces of love.

But my father... Your father.

only taught you the mundane facts of love, the one that's shown to the

world.

I was hired to teach you the other, that of sex and that of pleasure.

Your father meant to teach you virtue.

This summer, he wants you to see and touch Janus' hidden face.

exists. Your soul lives in an animal.

I was hired to make you aware of that.

Obviously your father won't refer to it in any way whatever and where you are

concerned you are to go on behaving normally as you always did.

No one is to know or guess.

Is that clear?

I guess I understand.

All right then.

Now, let's walk to the swing.

Take off your panties.

Go on.

Higher.

Try to feel the wind as it brushes in between your thighs.

Push hard so that the wind itself feels hard.

You're tearing off my ear. What are you doing that for?

Sophie, get back on that swing.

This old pig should be taught a lesson.

Hey, I'm not that old.

You're not a swine of wire.

Yeah, but look at that.

Go on, Sophie.

Go on.

I want him never to forget this. I won't forget for sure.

I won't. No, no.

Higher, Sophie.

How about that?

Spread your legs apart.

Oh, my ear.

Look at that. My ear.

That's heaven.

Oh, Mitch.

Oh, Mitch.

Oh, look over my ear. You know I've got work to do. I'd better go.

Mitch, can you believe it?

We taught him a lesson.

He'll never try that again.

You sure about that?

Yes, I am.

The man will be too afraid of what you've got between your legs, sweet

Your pretty thighs hide both.

A treasure and a weapon.

The sternness of an adolescent's education is the mold which shapes the

man's strength.

A soul tempered in stringent discipline, to which has been imparted the virtue

of obedience, will never blend into the reigning cowardice.

The martyrdom of a good education stands as a guarantee of... What

are you looking at?

Was listening to you you'd better tell me the truth or else You were looking

what were you looking at?

You were looking down at my ankles.

No ma 'am. I swear Don't you lie to me

don't compound your voyeurism with something that's even more unforgivable

I am going to rid you of a vice unbecoming a man of your upbringing.

I'll teach you to control yourself, to control your impulses.

From this moment on, your eyes must never again look below the level of this

table.

A healthy mind in...

In a healthy body should be a goal of a leader.

A body is the very image of the soul.

How could an unhealthy body possibly deserve a strong soul and claim to be

home?

Corporal punishment is the stuff of authority and education's best tool.

A good teacher knows how to punish his students.

And a student must accept his punishment.

The whip is the best instrument to express and impress authority, for it

its mark.

The cuts and welts long remain and remind how strength entered the body.

I never would have thought that a man of the colonel's stature had sired a

weakling such as you.

One vice revealed bespeaks many others, such as solitary nocturnal perversion.

And possibly even worse.

It's going to be my job to get rid of all that.

Our rooms are adjacent, I believe.

The door between them is to remain open until further notice.

That way I'll be able to check and put a stop to reprehensible actions.

Meanwhile, come and help me.

Now undress me.

You missed a button.

Go to the wall and turn your back to me.

I'm going to take off all my clothes.

And we'll resume the lesson.

Now listen to me.

Should your eyes leave the wall, even once, your father will be told what kind

of a son you are.

What goes for matter goes for men, too.

Hotel with chocolate.

Does Robert give you satisfaction?

As written in your book, the one on English education.

There are a few ounces of impurity to be removed.

Ah, and what kind of impurities, Miss Langford?

Um, some tiny bit.

I'll be more specific, let us say, in a week.

Don't hesitate to inform me of any problem.

I certainly will, Cardinal.

Now listen here, Robert.

We're all counting on you to work very hard, to put your mind into it.

I have yet most confidence in your professor.

I'll do my best, Father.

I want a full report.

I'll expect you in the office, I mean in the library.

I'll be there.

I believe that a rapport between parents and educators is all but vital.

I'm sure you agree.

In the student development...

Claudia

is the best cook we've ever had. Why, these profiteroles are sublime.

They are sublime, eh, Albert?

I'm sure you'll agree it's always nothing short of marvellous.

Yes, she's marvellous, ma 'am.

Robert, give me a hand.

That way.

I can see right into your roof.

Anything you do, I'll be watching.

You may go to bed now.

I'm going to see your father.

Don't take advantage of it to indulge his boys I want to do.

In that case, maybe you'd better put on some clothes.

I want an apology.

Your insolence is unbearable.

I hope that this sort of thing will never happen again.

That's really worth fighting.

Come in.

I apologize for my casual garb, Miss Langler, but reading the paper got me so

furious I simply forgot good manners and didn't get dressed.

Of course, I have a fighter's temperament and sometimes forego

I'm not surprised in the least. If I weren't a woman, I'd often get mad about

what they write in the newspapers.

Let's forget all that.

If I may be so bold, may I offer you a glass of sherry?

while we talk of Robert's education.

I'm not used to drinking alcohol, Colonel.

And it may be silly, but I'm afraid it'll go to my head.

A glass of cherry will never hurt anybody.

The fragility of

women...

I'm highly satisfied

with you, Miss Langer.

I was right in trusting the Baron's judgment.

Let's drink to his health.

I already feel a little tipsy. Come out now. A glass of sherry can't disrupt

such an orderly head.

Orderly and quite pretty.

Where did you learn your methods, your art of education?

At the convent of the Sisters of Redemption.

We went to math every morning.

And then we had a morals class until 11 o 'clock.

We used to take turns playing professor.

We studied religion till noon.

Oh, the sisters were sick.

Year in and year out.

Religion and more religion. Oh, that's interesting.

You know what her favorite game was? Hopscotch.

Miss Langler.

You're frightening me.

Wake up.

God, what a beautiful girl.

Miss Langler.

No, don't be.

Don't be. All you need is a little sleep, that's all.

I'm sorry.

It's the sherry.

Good evening, my child.

Good night.

The poor child seems rather calm.

I do hope that you haven't been too harsh with her.

You know how I am when there's a solution, there's a problem.

What I mean... You know what I mean.

The girl's fine, but you know what I mean.

She's got to use more discipline.

My discipline is the very principle of the army.

And I want my son to get that into his head.

Dear friend.

Either poor little Sophie has no brains in her head, or she's even more perverse

than I ever could have made her.

I made her suck on the tip of a cup and ball, and she applied herself to the

task with care and relish, following my instructions in every detail with such

conscientiousness that I could not help but wonder.

I was so amazed by her attitude that I asked her to fondle herself in front of

me, using as a pretext that she should learn to overcome any feeling of unease

toward me.

She caressed herself willingly, so naturally and so naively that I began to

wonder once again, can anyone possibly be so ignorant of life? Or was I dealing

with sheer, unadulterated hypocrisy? I must admit she disturbs me.

Where her father, who happens to be my own father too, is concerned.

Let's say that he's not indifferent to my charms.

I suspect that he peeps in on me while I take my bath at night.

Earlier this evening, I gave a gala performance for his benefit.

If, as I believe, he's the peeping Tom, he must, he has to react.

And I'm waiting.

What I did was scream and moan that I wanted a man, all the while caressing

myself under the shower.

The only thing I wonder about is how long before he overcomes his small -town

bourgeois taboo.

the man's hand.

I don't want to bother you with my family stories.

Many kisses, dear Tudor. I hope to see you again soon.

Your Natalie, who shall win the contest and become a baroness.

I'm sorry, Mr. Juno. I know it's late, but... But I wondered if you might... If

you might like to... To go for a ride in my airplane.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning. To tomorrow afternoon. Whenever you want to.

Whenever you want... A ride in your plane?

Why, I'd be too afraid.

No, thanks. I'd be terrified.

How can I ride in a plane?

I've never tried jumping higher than that.

Nothing to do with it.

All you do is relax. You sit down and relax, and that's all there is to it,

this. You just relax and enjoy it.

Maybe it would be a good idea to test you.

Squeeze your thighs close together.

I'll do a loop. You'd like that.

You'll dive to the limits of endurance.

You'll hear the wind screaming in your ears.

The roar of the engine. You'll feel the vibrations till your whole body shivers

with them. You'll be lost in the clouds.

So close to heaven.

The world. The world is what I'm offering you. The universe.

Every dream you ever had.

I said no. Let go of me. You hear?

Let go of me. You need a man.

You want a man's hands on your body. I heard you in the bathroom. Leave me

alone.

I don't get it.

Natalie, you were almost screaming for a man.

Why?

I admit it.

I do want a man.

I admit as much.

But you are Master Leroy Merville.

It may take a while before I get used to the idea.

But I will get used to it.

To you.

To your body.

Your naked body lying next to mine.

Do you understand me?

I do. I understand. Of course I do.

He even tried to rape me. And I just had an idea which will make me win that

little contest hands down.

Love and kisses.

Robert?

Yes, ma 'am.

I'm very tired.

Please undress me.

Yes, ma 'am.

You know what you are. You're an animal. You're a beast. You're a dog.

Incapable of controlling your impulses.

Don't come in. What is it?

The colonel requests your presence in the library.

On the double, he said.

Very well.

I'll be right down.

Robert, will you choose some lingerie for me so I can go see your father?

Why does he want you?

Why are you putting on fancy underwear?

I put on fancy underwear to go buy a loaf of bread.

Or would you rather I went down naked?

Bring me a bra and panties.

Help me dress.

extraordinary woman I have ever met, bar none.

Miss Longler.

She's more than my son's tutor. Yes, far more than that. An iron fist in a kid

glove. Ah, and bright.

The very type of woman this country needs for tomorrow.

I won't introduce these gentlemen for reasons of security.

Suffice to say they're both men of honor and highly respected for their

integrity, prepared to do anything to save the country from the conspiracy of

Freemasons and the claws of Bolsheviks.

I appreciate the honor and the confidence you have in me, Colonel.

I don't intend to beat around the bush with empty formalities.

I'll go straight to the point.

I appreciate that, too.

Very good.

Our friends and myself have decided to act with a view of sustaining the values

dear to our civilization.

The situation is pretty bad, and therefore we have to put a stop to it in

way that no one can ignore we exist.

And that's the reason, young lady, why we need you.

Please be assured I'll do anything I can for our country's good.

That's what I expected from you, boy.

However, what we're asking you to do for us is risky.

Risks, Colonel? The bigger the better?

A bomb.

Ah, here we are.

Thousand slides.

Who in the end was it?

You give the lady a hand.

Watch your step coming down.

There you are, ma 'am.

Hurt like a kitten? I worked on it myself.

See you.

Well, now.

It looked to me like you enjoyed yourself, eh?

I could hear your heart beating louder than the engine. I'll bet it never

Is that the best you can do?

Thank you very much.

Do I still intimidate you?

No.

What's the matter, Natalie? Don't you want a man anymore?

Why, yes. Yes, I still want a man. Of course I do. I want a man very much.

Tell me what's wrong.

Well, it's not easy, you know.

May I confess something to you?

Go ahead. Confess away.

If not to me, to who?

Well...

I'm a fetishist.

You're a fetishist?

Yes, that's why I couldn't make love with you.

Unless we were both in a certain situation, if you know what I mean.

I couldn't figure you out last night, so that's why. Well, yes, that's it. I

didn't dare speak to you about it. I was afraid you'd think badly of me.

How droll.

Why should I think badly of you?

I'll do anything you please.

There was a... There was a telephone call for you. My mother?

No, no, no. Your sister, Elliot.

It sounded serious. I'm so sorry. You better call her right back.

I hope nothing serious has happened. Do you mind?

Of course not. Go right ahead.

Hello. I do.

Number 17 La Ferte, please.

Would you please run me a bath? Nice and warm.

I'd better get back in shape.

If you stopped flying around like a bird, you wouldn't get out shape.

Hello, Eliane.

It's Natalie.

I'm glad you finally called back.

You won't believe this, but that stupid self -important colonel wants to blow up

the parliament.

Is that all?

Along with the prime minister, I suppose, huh? Both him and most of his

ministers. They'll all be there.

It's scheduled to go off while they vote on the budget.

Good idea. Let them go ahead with their plot.

It's been done once or twice before.

Yes, but Natalie, there's a catch.

The colonel is expecting little me to walk in and place the bomb.

I can't believe it.

Yes, it's true.

Think of something if you don't want me to be blown to hell.

There's only one solution.

The Baron.

There you are.

I love it.

Well, now, I'd say we're in a spot.

Terrorism is a long way from sex.

Now, please, Baron, this thing is serious.

How do I get out of it? Oh, who said anything about that?

I think that the colonel's idea is excellent.

A bomb will blow some life into the political scene. Stop it.

We've got to help Elgar out of this situation.

What about our contest?

We cancel it.

It's no go.

I want to become a Baroness.

Oh. Now, do you really?

You gave your word.

So I did, and a promise is a promise.

There's only one solution.

What's that?

To hurry things along.

You finish what you started before they debate on the budget.

It's pretty short.

I don't know. That leaves us a couple of weeks. More than enough to do what you

set out to do.

Here's to you.

Here's to health.

And good luck to both.

Don't make any noise, please. She's practically asleep.

Sophia, do you remember...

What you did with the cup and ball the other day.

Yes.

It was like sucking on a lollipop.

Father never ever buys me lollipops.

Your father won't say anything.

But first, you've got to make me a solemn promise that you'll obey me and

exactly what I say. Sure, I'll do exactly what you say.

You mustn't speak.

You must make no noise.

What you're going to learn is very important, but you mustn't open your

nor make the slightest sound.

Dearest friend, there are only six days left, yet I'm continuing to break in,

Robert. That little cherry is crazy about me.

It's strange sometimes, for Robert is almost a man, and his entire being is

focused on me. My body fascinates him. He'd do anything to see me naked, as

do anything for the pleasure of licking my feet.

He's obsessive about it.

The punishment I devised for him for this quirk... was to make him scrub down

our somewhat simple -minded young maid, Claudia, when she took her weekly bath

in the kitchen.

Robert is very class -conscious, and he accepted his punishment with

considerable reluctance.

Claudia couldn't make head or tail of it, but submitted passively to the

and yet, though she was ill at ease and sometimes trembled, I could see in her

face that the whole thing gave her obvious pleasure.

Women are strange, aren't they?

As a matter of fact, the only person who didn't appreciate it was Albert, the

butler.

He stumbled in on the scene and immediately put a stop to it.

Whatever you do, some people will be upset by it.

That's life.

With fond kisses and hoping to see you soon.

Eliane.

Stop it.

I said no.

You promised.

I'm sorry. Really sorry. But I want you so... I want you so much.

You're... Well...

I'm ashamed.

I'm so ashamed.

What's that?

Where did you find all this gear? I don't believe it.

I don't understand. I don't discuss my morals.

Charles, you either accept or you refuse.

But let's not talk morals. Keep your advice and keep your reflections.

We all have our secrets.

I'm not asking for yours.

Now that you know mine, I'd like you to kindly respect it.

So you'd better decide right now whether you want to make love with me.

I accept it.

You know...

Fantasies, why, make the world go round.

Sit down.

I'll be.

What happens if I need my hands?

Just trust me, Charles.

It's a surprise.

You won't need anything at all.

Just let yourself go.

Relax, Charles.

That's fine.

What I'm going to ask you now is very important.

What? You must remain silent.

You mustn't say a word or you'd break a spell.

Don't spoil this wonderful moment.

I promise.

I'm coming right back.

Clementine and follow me.

Everyone has got to be told.

Tomorrow. Holy Virgin.

Oh, good God, how is it possible?

Oh, yes, I'll tell everybody.

The whole world.

Okay, George, get on your feet.

Good.

Put a little bit more lust into it. Don't forget, millions of kids are

for this. That's cool.

Rita here in Santa Claus, I can't do that to her. Come on now, George.

do you mind? Right, good girl, thank you. We need you now.

Good. You can take that up later.

Good girl.

Come along.

All right, over here.

Right. Now take off this stuff.

Yeah.

That's it. Let's see a little bit of...

Christmas best. Now sit down on Rita.

Oh, that old stunt again.

Try not to cave in my chest. Let me take a minute.

That's it. You've been eating candy. Everyone ready?

Looks good.

Bring on the snowstorm.

Maya?

You're enjoying it.

Rita, take off your clothes, would you? All right.

Let's see some more bosom.

My boobs.

Don't forget you're sitting at nine.

You mean they drooped your belly button? Just wait.

That'll do.

Now, a little sigh.

Uh -huh. Ah, nice. That's exactly right.

Ah, that fernal machine.

Keep going. I'll be right back.

Baron Plessy Duregard, who is this?

Oh, it's you.

Not tonight.

Are you sure?

All right, I'll be there.

Bullseye, bullseye.

Why, you... You hit the bullseye.

What are you up to?

As they say, the devil finds work for idle hands.

Let's see now, shall we?

What's all this nonsense about?

Ah.

You're learning to read, huh?

That's a good one on me.

The young lady wants an education.

Why don't you let me teach the alphabet my way?

My alphabet is very practical, you'll see. Eh?

B.

There.

A, B, C, D.

Oh, that's so pretty.

B, so nice.

Such a cute little behind.

I don't know what I like best.

You behind or there?

Come here.

We'll see about the rest later.

Affirmative, Colonel.

Well, it's quite annoying at that.

No one can be trusted anymore.

And since we learned that you found such a nice tutor for your daughter, Sophie,

well, we thought that perhaps you wouldn't mind were I to leave our two

with them for the afternoon.

Well, I hadn't thought of it, but... Clementine!

Clementine!

Why, I'm not deaf.

I know you're not, my good woman, but I... I am not your good woman, sir.

I'm not anybody's good woman, least of all a gentoo.

What can I do for you?

Well, what's the matter now, Clementine? Why, nothing, sir.

Fine. In that case, ask Miss Dinot to come here.

Yes, of course. I'll tell her.

She's upset by something. They quite often are here. It's changing times.

Today, there's no respect for anything.

What's the world coming to?

You heard about that schoolteacher. She ran away with a farm boy.

At least you're safe with Clementine.

I sometimes wonder at war, my... Oh, I'm all for a good war.

Hello?

Miss, uh, Duperlelu, uh, Miss Juno.

Miss Duperlelu would like you to look after her, uh, her two young nieces this

afternoon. I said you would.

I said the more we are, the merrier.

I'll be glad to. Thank you. All right, that's settled.

And don't forget to come back in time for our little business.

Yes, of course, sir. I didn't forget.

The material is waiting, and so am I.

We're going to try our hand at drawing.

Sophie, show us the etchings, please. Yes, ma 'am.

These drawings, ladies, are what I would term superb craftsmanship.

Don't close your eyes.

It's great art.

Every single sketch was drawn from life, that is to say, with marble.

What I'd like you to do is reproduce these masterpieces, but

so that there may be a measure of creativity on your part,

I'll ask you to replace the bodies and the faces with your own.

Which of you will reproduce that one?

Very well.

You and you.

Please take it.

You'll each pose in turn.

That's important.

But we have to take our clothes off.

So what? Take them off.

The Vatican is full of naked statues.

The Pope doesn't mind.

Don't be more virtuous than the Pope.

How about you?

Where there's shyness, there's no fun.

That goes for you too, Sophie.

Go on.

Try to be good, model.

I want to see you as naked as these girls.

Don't stand there like statues. Go on. Pose like them.

But ma 'am, that's impossible.

Look at him. Just what's impossible? Nothing's impossible.

Use your imagination.

That's how the artist thought, but you can approximate it and adapt it, I'm

sure.

You look ridiculous.

What do you think of it, sweet little Sophie?

I'm not too sure what to think.

Maybe she should be whipped with a long, hard rod.

You're probably right, Sophie.

However, they're too silly to understand that.

Come with me.

to give you a little advice for tonight.

Tonight, ma 'am?

Yes, Sophie.

This night is going to be the most important night of your life.

After?

Nothing will ever again be like before.

What in the world are you doing?

Are you mad?

We're copying that drawing. But didn't you say... What were you doing to her

just now?

Well, look at it, ma 'am. Look at the pubis.

They're right. She's got no pubic hair.

We've got to match the drawing.

That's what you said.

That's what you said.

Yes, of course.

Go on, then.

After all, it never harmed anybody.

like silk.

You know what I could do with it?

You know, I once learned to weave, and I could make a fine hanky with it for

their aunt.

That's a very good idea.

It's a gift from your nieces.

Feel it, ma 'am.

Oh, they're adorable.

It's so sweet of you.

Goodbye, my dear friend.

Till next week?

Quite amusing, that idea of a hanky. Yes, quite.

Sophie's the one who thought of it.

And remember, not a word.

I don't want you to worry. Everything's going to be just fine.

Do exactly what I said.

The first experience is really very important to a girl.

Just think of Justine.

Do you... Do you have sexual congress with my father?

Lace me up and stop asking questions.

A weird word.

Congress.

I want to know if you do.

I have to know.

Very well.

Then come down to the library.

Wait about an hour.

A full hour.

As you describe it, it's horrible.

Yes, it is horrible.

Something has to be done.

We've got to fight back, save the country.

I'm going to move up the date we set for our plan.

I'll abide by your decision.

But we've got to remain calm and carefully review the whole situation.

I know that sherry will go right to my head, but the occasion calls for it.

Sherry? You want some sherry? I do, Colonel. Please.

Let's forget for one moment the abyss into which you're pushing our country.

Let's forget, if only for a short moment.

More power to you.

To how many enemies have these hands meted out a most horrible death?

I don't know. I'd say dozens, maybe, well, hundreds, maybe, who counts in the

thick of a battle.

How many captured women have I taken to spoil?

How I would have liked to be with you and fight with you to the limits of my

strength, to risk my life next to you in those exciting battles.

No exciting.

Tell me how it was.

Show me how you charged up the mountain, Colonel. I'll tell you all. I'll tell

you all.

Yes, sir.

HELLO -

It's got to be cleaned, you hear? Get up so I can make your bed.

It wasn't me. It wasn't.

I better let some air in here.

Get rid of that stale smell.

It wasn't me.

Ah, what a beautiful day.

One deep breath is worth any tonic.

That's what you should do.

Don't take it so bad.

Such things are as old as the world.

And you're not the first.

You know it and everybody knows it. Lots of girls sleep with their fathers.

Try to forget it.

You must try to forget.

You must.

Oh, if it were up to me.

In my opinion, you should send Sophia far away from home.

Let a little time go by.

It's best.

I'm sure you'll agree with me, sir.

You've got to send miss Sophie away from here not very long only until people

forget about it Don't you worry yourself I'll take care of everything

It wasn't me

He never did that sort of thing with me.

And we've been married for 30 years.

What? I don't wonder what excites him so much.

My ass.

Ah, how well put that is.

That's what has always made the world go round.

You're quite right.

You should try using it. It's never been my forte. Too late now. My age.

But I wonder if the next time... The

very next time... Yes.

I'll follow your advice.

My son.

Ask my son.

Ask is the most important thing in the world.

And never forget it.

Robert, one of my garters came loose, would you?

Robert?

Robert, teeth is not what you use to hook a garter back on.

Why, thank you, Albert.

Hello.

You may go now.

Congratulations.

What you did verges on artistic perfection, darling. The picture is very

Excuse me for sighing into the telephone, but... Robert is under the

he's doing things to me.

You know what I mean?

Sophie, an exercise.

Would you check if my garters are well hooked on?

We're even now, darling.

I, too, have someone under my skirt.

And the scandal you raised is well, like, cancelled out by mine.

You'll hear about it when the scandal oozes out of here and comes your way.

I assure you that I hit smack in the bullseye.

The famous Leroy Murville family is ruined.

I mean, it's branded as immoral.

You'll give me all the details?

Of course.

By the way, you haven't heard the best part yet.

Charles Leroy Merville, in the face of the scandal, decided to

send Sophie and her tutor, namely me, to Venice.

I'm supposed to prevent a shock.

That's marvelous.

I'll try to get the same thing here.

You want to bet we'll leave together?

I'll introduce you to Robert.

You'll see.

We'll go to Venice.

The four of us.

Imagine the face Sophie made the first time she read Justine.

She's come a long way since then.

However, she'll never let go of good manners.

Even when she masturbates.

Oh, I wonder sometimes how she got so expert.

Robert's quite the opposite. He's not so.

His little thing -imaging must feel like it all.

I've got an idea.

Wait a minute.

Sophie, would you show Eliane how good you've become?

You never would believe the magic she can weave with her fingertips.

I'm sure you'll agree.

Girls learn much faster than boys.

Not bad.

Not bad.

But Robert's been a very good pupil.

Would you show Natalie?

Your pupil learned your lesson well.

Very well. So did yours.

Well, well.

That's working. Both of them.

Which is faster. All right.

There, there's a couple on the table.

The first one slips our panties off and puts them on the bottle wind.

Okay. Okay.

Well, now, children, is that understood?

Robert,

did you hear?

Yes.

Well, then, do us both the honor of... I mean, on your marks, get set,

one...

like your wine at leg temperature.

No, it's only a joke, an old -school prank.

It's all in good fun.

May I suggest that you restrict sundry pranks and unseemly jokes to the privacy

of your cabins? The company rules are very strict about the temperature of

Bordeaux wine.

I'd say that mine is better looking.

Yes, you've got a point.

But mine has got nicer legs.

got a point.

Though there isn't that much difference.

And you can't deny mine's got nicer breasts.

I'm not sure about that. They both have nice breasts.

But mine, mine has a belly so firm, so flat.

So has mine got a flat belly.

They both have their points.

Still, it'll be difficult.

We're both too involved to judge.

Our opinions are necessarily too subjective.

We've got to find an impartial judge.

We should be able to find one. Ask anybody.

I'll go get somebody whose objectivity is bound to be beyond question.

But you gave me the impression that you had good taste.

Look.

You see, what we'd like to know is... Which one is the most beautiful, in your

opinion?

Well, we want you to be objective and don't let your feelings interfere, you

hear?

Interesting. But both are devoid of any originality.

What does that mean?

We'd like to know which one of the ladies you prefer.

Perhaps if I had more information, I could give you a better substantiated

opinion. I might be quite unfair, unless you further unveil the evidence.

I do concede a slight preference for the subject in the upper berth. Why,

there's a flow, a nice flow, but I'm reserving judgment, of course.

Until I can have an uncluttered look at the lady still hidden from sight. And

whose form I must say viewed from here are quite voluptuous.

And might well sway my decision were I to see them on crypt.

Oh, impossible.

What if you touch them?

Maybe you'd like a better way the evidence.

Possibly. Then do.

Do it.

Don't be shy.

Impossible. I can't. No, no, no. It's impossible.

I can't.

I've got to know. I must.

So would I.

But we can't make up our minds, and neither can anybody else.

I just might be able to help solve your dilemma.

Baron, you place de regard.

It would seem we have converging interests.

Which? I risk getting a matrimonial rope tied around my neck because of a stupid

bet. You can help me cut free of it.

What do we get if we help you? The truth.

And a chance for revenge for what your tutors made you both endure.

Stop it! Better stay calm.

I know everything.

If you want to keep the slightest chance of marrying the Baron, better do

exactly as I say.

That negligee suits you.

Why, it's beautiful.

Why did you bring up the Baron?

Shut up.

Sophie. What's going on here?

The Baron is supposed to marry one of you.

Which he doesn't know.

He was wise enough to ask for our help.

That's why, as of this moment on, Sophie and I are taking your future into our

hands. So as to determine which one of you two best deserves the honor.

Natalie has just agreed.

We want you both to do everything we'll ask.

Absolute obedience.

And the one who performs best will be chosen.

You accept it?

Very well.

If that's the case, I accept too.

I met the man I want to spend my life with

Take that hill! Take that vale! Go on, charge!

Charge!

How are you, Mom?

Very well, son.

This is no time to get home.

I'm getting married, Mother.

And what about our wedding, Baron?

Silence. If you were a count, you wouldn't add up.

Don't anybody move.

It's a happy day, so smile.

Happy eyes.

Smile.

Happy.