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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,319 ♪ Terrible Tudors Gorgeous Georgians 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:04,479 ♪ Slimy Stewarts Vile Victorians 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,359 ♪ Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights 4 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,079 ♪ Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians 5 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,639 ♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times 6 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,999 ♪ Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless 7 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,399 ♪ Cavemen, savage Fierce and toothless 8 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,039 ♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages 9 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,799 ♪ Gory stories We do that 10 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,359 ♪ And your host A talking rat 11 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,279 ♪ The past is no longer a mystery 12 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,600 ♪ Welcome to... ♪ 13 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,880 Horrible Histories presents... 14 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,079 Ah! Who doesn't love going on their holibobs by the sea? 15 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,679 I adore a trip to the beach with my family 16 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,079 and King George III was the same. 17 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,839 He especially loved holidaying 18 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,119 in the British seaside town of Weymouth, 19 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,359 although his family were slightly less keen on the trips. 20 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:56,719 SEAGULL TRILLS 21 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,319 Oh, no! This happens every time. 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,400 My hair is not a nest! 23 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,039 Family on tour! 24 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,159 So excited! 25 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,999 OK, Dad, tell us where we are. 26 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,559 Oh, well, we are in Dorset on a royal family holiday 27 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,959 going to the best town ever. 28 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,439 What could be better, girls, 29 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,399 than going to Weymouth? 30 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,479 Er, NOT going to Weymouth. 31 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,999 That would be better. 32 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,639 {\an8}Weymouth is more dull and stupid than I can find words to express. 33 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,119 {\an8}You're the King, Father, we could literally go anywhere. 34 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:33,039 I know, which is why we're doing a special surprise stop on the way! 35 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,599 It better not be a farm. 36 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,120 HORSES NEIGH 37 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,159 Ooh! Hello, piggies! 38 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,239 Isn't it great? I love farms! 39 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,239 I can't believe you're my sister! 40 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,919 {\an8}SQUELCH Urgh! I stepped in something! 41 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,519 {\an8}Argh! 42 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,679 Did you like the farm? Now I'm bored and I smell of cows. 43 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,279 Right! Girls... 44 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,959 ...let's do a bit of Weymouth shopping, shall we? 45 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,119 Shop till we drop, that'll cheer you up. 46 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,719 It's half past five in the morning, Daddy. 47 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,679 I know, that's why I had my favourite shop, Delamotte, 48 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,039 open specially. 49 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,959 {\an8}Look at the shopkeeper, loves getting up at 5am. 50 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,239 This holiday's almost as bad as last year's. In fact, it IS as bad. 51 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,239 It's the same exact holiday again! 52 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,199 Although I guess last year's was a bit worse 53 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,719 because we had to go on a boat trip. 54 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,239 BELL RINGS Boat trip! 55 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,599 SHE GROANS 56 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,679 Bup-bup-bu-bup! Weymouth! 57 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,239 SHE RETCHES 58 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,999 I've got nothing left in me to throw up. 59 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,039 It's all the excitement of being on a boat. 60 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,279 She's loving it. 61 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,839 SHE RETCHES 62 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,159 BELL RINGS 63 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,920 I think it's safe to say that was a huge success. 64 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,039 SHE RETCHES 65 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,319 Please, Father, we're so miserable! 66 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,679 Fine. I give up. Never again. 67 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,159 Really, Father? Thank you! 68 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,479 Brush your teeth first. 69 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,479 Now we can find somewhere else to holiday finally. 70 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,399 Oh, no, I meant we'll never do the boat trip again. 71 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,559 We'll definitely come back to Weymouth. Yay! 72 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,799 {\an8}Weymouth is cool! Weymouth! 73 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,119 SHE RETCHES 74 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,839 Hello, holiday-makers! Queen Victoria here. 75 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,599 Queen of Great Britain and Ireland, 76 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,559 Empress of India 77 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,879 and massive fan of going on holibobs! 78 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,399 In addition to ruling and having lots of children, 79 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,239 I did like to be beside the seaside. 80 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,799 I was a particularly big fan of going wading in the sea. 81 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,319 My husband, Albert, even persuaded me that the salty water 82 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,919 was good for my health. 83 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,399 But tell me, what special bit of equipment did I like to use 84 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,919 when I went to the sea? 85 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,080 Was it... 86 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,879 The answer was... 87 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:54,039 B, a big shed on wheels called a bathing machine, 88 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,359 like this one. 89 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,279 It would be wheeled into the sea with me inside it, 90 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,239 so then I could get out into the water without prying eyes 91 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,479 watching me and splash around a bit, hmm! 92 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,679 And let me tell you, this ride was pimped! 93 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,279 It's got a changing room in there 94 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,599 and curtains that go around the front, so I couldn't be seen. 95 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,239 And there's even a royal working toilet inside. 96 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,679 TOILET FLUSHES I might be the Queen, 97 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,960 but I do not royal wee in the sea! 98 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,720 Unless it's an emergency. 99 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,000 Excuse me! Monarch on the move! 100 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,919 Agatha? Agatha?! 101 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,280 That can't be you. 102 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,239 John! What brings you to Hawaii? 103 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:46,159 You, Agatha! I publish your books and we're expecting another one. 104 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,119 I did not expect to find you, Agatha Christie, detective writer, 105 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,439 on a beach in a... 106 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,799 It's a bathing suit, John. 107 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,239 Whatever it is. It's not a book and that's what we need. 108 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,399 People need more Poirot. 109 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,479 I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks. 110 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,959 Well, you've caught me red-handed. 111 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,119 Why are you even here? 112 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,759 Because of that little lady over there, Jonathan. 113 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,559 I can't see anyone. Is it, Miss Marple? 114 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,159 The sea, John. Do you know what this is? 115 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,199 Er, an insole for a very big shoe? 116 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,439 It's a surfboard, John! I've been learning to surf. 117 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,519 So what are you now, a-a-a surfer? 118 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,039 Could we at least fix a typewriter on this thing? 119 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,919 I'm still a ground-breaking crime novelist, John. I've just 120 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,599 discovered a totally epic new hobby while on my vacation. 121 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:31,439 Well, you know what would be "totally epic", Agatha? A new book! 122 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,679 I do have a new idea for a book. 123 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,559 Oh, great. It's about a British prince... 124 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,199 Terrific. ..who gets murdered... 125 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,279 Intriguing. ..while surfing in Hawaii! 126 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,839 Oh, that's ridiculous! 127 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,879 People simply won't take you seriously 128 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,759 if you keep telling tales about surfing princes. 129 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,159 Edward! John, have you met the Prince of Wales? 130 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,639 {\an8}What is...? 131 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,919 {\an8}Ha... Hail, your wonderful Majesty. 132 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,279 Chill, bro. Oh, it's awesome out there, Agatha. 133 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,639 I just stood up on the board. 134 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,279 I think I'm the first British dude to do it. 135 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,680 Check this out. 136 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,319 Woohoo! 137 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,919 Later, bro! 138 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,439 Tell me more about this royal murder story then, how does it start? 139 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:16,039 Well, the prince is in the water and there may be a shark. Hmm. 140 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,439 It's a great first chapter. No, no, no! 141 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,279 The Prince is in the water and there may be a shark! 142 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,600 Your Royal Highness, watch out! 143 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,479 It's true. Famous crime writer Agatha Christie 144 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,839 really did get hooked on surfing 145 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,559 and her surfboard really was called Fred. 146 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,959 When I go abroad on my hols, 147 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:41,279 as well as souvenir hunting in their exotic bins and sewers, 148 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,159 I love a bit of sightseeing - 149 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,199 and people in the past did, too. 150 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:50,199 Alexander the Great once actually took a break from waging a war 151 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,999 so he could go and visit the tomb of his hero, 152 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,799 the legendary Greek warrior Achilles. 153 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,759 Oh, oh! They're emptying the bins! 154 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,200 I've got to get a snap. Oh, oh! The bins. Mm! 155 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,319 Hail, fair Alexander. 156 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,999 Welcome to the ruins of ancient Troy. 157 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,199 Thanks, buddy. 158 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,799 We're actually on our way to attack the Persian Empire but, er, 159 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,839 we couldn't resist a little holiday in Troy on the way. 160 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,359 All war and no play makes Alexander the Great a dull, 161 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,879 and yet still strangely awesome, emperor. 162 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,079 Well, let me be your tour guide to this historic ruin. 163 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,439 All I ask is the honour of your company 164 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,960 and also a large bag of coins. 165 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,279 Right, what do you want to see? 166 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,679 Show me the resting place of Achilles, 167 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,719 the greatest of the Greek warriors and hero of the Trojan War. 168 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,159 Behold... 169 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,959 ...the tomb of Achilles! 170 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,319 Oh, it's right there, bro. 171 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,359 Eeh! I can't believe I'm stood 172 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,039 right in front of the actual tomb of Achilles! 173 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,679 Hephaestion, look! 174 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,679 Yeah, I'm looking. It's great, bro. 175 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,039 You really like Achilles. 176 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,519 Oh, yeah. Yeah, massive fan. 177 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,359 I even sleep with a dagger under my pillow, 178 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,679 just like he did. 179 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,279 You know, I always tell Hephaestion, 180 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,959 if I have an Achilles heel, 181 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,399 it's probably how much I love Achilles! 182 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,879 Yeah, he's always saying that, bro. 183 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,959 Oh, it's good to meet someone who respects the legends of Troy. 184 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,199 Just a bit. 185 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,879 Might have to pour a load of oil over the tomb in tribute! 186 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,759 Whoa, there it goes! 187 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,479 You probably don't need that much oil. 188 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,439 You know what? I'm going to crown it in garlands, too. 189 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:15,719 Garlands and oil! 190 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,319 Oh, do we have to spend ALL day 191 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,679 at the tomb of Achilles, bro? 192 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,759 Er, yeah. In fact, 193 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,439 I'm going to run around it naked. 194 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,759 {\an8}Race you, Hephaestion! 195 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,959 {\an8}Does he do this a lot? 196 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,559 Yeah. You better join in, 197 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,279 otherwise he gets a bit grumpy. 198 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,639 Oh, watch out for the oil! 199 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:30,880 Whoa! Oh! 200 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,199 Ha! Who wants to go and look at famous landmarks 201 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,999 when you can look at me?! 202 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,679 Yes, when I, the great Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte 203 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:42,319 was captured at Waterloo, 204 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,679 the impressive sight that people travelled to see 205 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,119 was me! 206 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,839 And I don't blame them. 207 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,919 I am a rather handsome chap. 208 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,480 Go on. Treat yourself to an imperial close up. 209 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,239 It's 1815 and thousands of people have gathered 210 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,119 in hundreds of small boats 211 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,479 to catch a glimpse 212 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,439 of the captured French Emperor, Napoleon. 213 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,719 Welcome to Goggleboats. 214 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 215 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,959 Hello, Boney! 216 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,919 Oh, he looks smashing! 217 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,919 Totally worth travelling all the way from Glasgow. 218 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,559 {\an8}Och, totally! 219 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,439 I do like a man in uniform. 220 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,719 Do you like a man who's been fighting Britain 221 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,439 for the last 23 years? 222 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,000 If he's in uniform, yeah. 223 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,799 THEY LAUGH 224 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,320 I mean, it's good, but I wish something would actually happen. 225 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,519 Look, Mum. 226 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,999 Napoleon took his hat off. 227 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,359 {\an8}Oh, that made it worth travelling 400 miles. 228 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,040 {\an8}Can we go home now? 229 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,919 Boo! 230 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,599 Yeah! Yeah! 231 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,439 Boo! 232 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,799 Yeah! Yeah! 233 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,919 Boo! Yeah! 234 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,319 Boo! Yeah! Boo! 235 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,519 Boo! Yeah! Boo! Yeah! 236 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,719 Go on, take a bow, son! 237 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,799 Take a bow. 238 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,599 These British, they're easily amused, no? 239 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,519 Yeah, there is no nation as foolish as we are. 240 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,840 {\an8}NAPOLEON LAUGHS 241 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,199 So, er, you see Napoleon? Mm-hm? 242 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,599 He's wearing a bicorn hat, isn't he, with the two points? 243 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,760 Yeah, and three points is a tricorn. Mm. 244 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,679 Do you reckon if he got one point, that makes him a unicorn? 245 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,240 THEY LAUGH 246 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,959 # Allons enfants de la patrie... ♪ 247 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,999 Oh, they're singing him his national anthem! 248 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,479 {\an8}But those aren't the words 249 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,879 {\an8}to the national anthem. 250 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,439 No, Mum. 251 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,959 They're singing him the French national anthem, 252 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:36,999 in French. 253 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,239 Why? 254 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,679 Cos he's Fre... never mind. 255 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,399 What's he doing here, anyway? 256 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,919 He's been captured by the Royal Navy and he's being kept here 257 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,079 until he gets moved to a prison on a tropical island 258 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,559 in the middle of the Atlantic, where he'll be for the rest of his life. 259 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,439 Hmm, tropical island! 260 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,919 Ha! Oh... 261 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,759 If I knew that was the punishment, 262 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,639 I would have invaded Holland years ago. 263 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,920 THEY LAUGH 264 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,839 Well, I'm not sure sitting watching that little French fellow 265 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,439 waving his hat all day 266 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,959 really floats MY holiday boat! 267 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,639 Oh! Gusty! I've always got problems with wind, one way or the other. 268 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,919 PARP 269 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,279 HE CHUCKLES 270 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,399 Maybe you've been abroad for a holiday. 271 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,319 Well, in the past, that was something that only very rich 272 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,759 and powerful people could afford to do. 273 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:29,999 In the 17th century, wealthy people went on trips called Grand Tours. 274 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,439 I don't think you'd be getting much rest 275 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,200 and relaxation with this lot, hmm. 276 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,439 {\an8}Every year, young lords from England set off across Europe 277 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,239 {\an8}to learn about Greek and Roman classic history. 278 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,559 {\an8}Arrrrrr! 279 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,199 {\an8}And they don't always behave themselves. 280 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,879 {\an8}Lords on Tour! 281 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,240 {\an8}Welcome to Grand Lords on Tour 1758. 282 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,199 {\an8}I'm the Bear Leader. 283 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,999 {\an8}It's my job to ensure these young gentlemen 284 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,359 {\an8}have a educational and enriching time. 285 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,279 Give us a kiss, Bear Leader! 286 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,399 PLEASE put that back. That is a priceless article! 287 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,919 SMASH Oh! 288 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,079 LORDS LAUGH Oh, no! It was so old! 289 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,559 Made a bit of a mess. 290 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,159 Ha-ha, priceless! We're having a smashing time! 291 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,159 THEY LAUGH 292 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,079 The Tour is a cultural experience for the young lords. 293 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,359 Ohhh! 294 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,559 James Cecil, 295 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,119 sixth Earl of Salisbury, 296 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,639 er, King's cousin and wealthiest man in Shropshire, 297 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,679 and I'm here to explore the philosophies 298 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:27,959 and sights of, erm, the ancient past, and... 299 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,679 ...to party! 300 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,119 LIVELY CLASSICAL MUSIC 301 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,679 No, no, no! 302 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,359 I'll be careful! 303 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,239 I'm not going to lie, I'm having the time of my life. 304 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,439 We're going to the beach. 305 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,400 I've spent so much money. £3,000. 306 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,359 Is that a lot? 307 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,799 Come back here now! 308 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,599 The whole point of the Grand Tour 309 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,399 is like, it's a kind of finishing school for landed gentry, 310 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,799 you know what I'm saying? 311 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,439 We get to see all the places we've studied in real life, 312 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,279 like Florence, Constantinople, 313 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,559 Rome, the... 314 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,279 HE BURPS ...Balkans. 315 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,919 THEY LAUGH 316 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:02,199 Yeah, we started in the Alps, climbing. 317 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,279 It was actually quite tough. No, no, no, not for me. 318 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,600 I got one of the locals to carry me up in a chair. 319 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,359 Some people get very upset with the young lords' behaviour. 320 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,279 No, no, no, no, no, no. 321 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,919 The folly of British boys has gained us the title 322 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,199 Golden Asses, all over Italy. 323 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,719 THEY SHOUT 324 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,679 Next week, the tour moves to Athens... 325 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,199 Last one in the lake's lame! 326 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,959 ...where the boys study Pythagoras 327 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,360 and Lord Cecil is sick on the Parthenon. 328 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,239 Yo, yo, yo! 329 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,519 It's your boy Ibn Battuta here, 330 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,039 international traveller 331 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,279 extraordinaire! 332 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,599 Naire! Naire! 333 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,199 Follow me as I go on the Hajj. 334 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,999 That's an Islamic holy pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia. 335 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,520 Next stop, Mecca. Boy! 336 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,159 Yo! I'm in India! 337 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,279 What?! 338 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,439 I did go to Mecca, 339 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,559 but then I love travelling so much, I just kept on going. 340 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,159 {\an8}Oh, and guess what? 341 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,399 {\an8}The Sultan of India's only hired me 342 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,799 {\an8}as his ambassador! 343 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,600 {\an8}Best holiday ever! 344 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,999 The Sultan of India is sending me to China. I can't wait! 345 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,080 Bandits are coming. Run for your life! 346 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,960 Eh? 347 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,479 I'm in a ditch, hiding from the bandits. 348 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,119 {\an8}Worst holiday ever! 349 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,719 He's hiding in the ditch! 350 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,399 Probably shouldn't have shouted that out. 351 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,240 {\an8}Worst holiday ever! 352 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,479 It's your boy Battuta here. 353 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,639 The bandits are keeping me prisoner in a cave. 354 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,519 As caves go, it's a nice one, but... 355 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,799 Ah! 356 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,079 I'm OK... 357 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,239 ...I think. 358 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,679 A villager freed me! Yay! 359 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,079 All I had to do was give him all my clothes! 360 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,879 But he let me keep my trousers. 361 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,559 From now on, they are officially 362 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,279 my lucky trousers! 363 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,239 Yeah. Now, onward to China! 364 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,680 Yeah, boy! 365 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,719 So, on the way to China, I stopped off at Ceylon. 366 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,799 Say what? Nothing but blue skies ahead 367 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,239 for your boy Battuta! 368 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,199 {\an8}Best holiday ever! 369 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,439 THUNDERCLAP 370 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,840 I'm sure that'll blow over. 371 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,239 My ship got caught in a storm. The others made a raft, 372 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,839 but they said there was no room for your boy Battuta 373 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,399 so, you know, here I am... 374 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,039 ...on a sinking ship. 375 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,639 {\an8}Worst holiday ever. 376 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,519 HE THROWS UP 377 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,959 Ah! 378 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,320 SPLASH 379 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,399 Rrrrrrrr-escued! 380 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,599 New ship, new friends! 381 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,359 Battuta's luck's in, boy. 382 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,039 {\an8}Best holiday ev... 383 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,079 Pirates are coming, run for your lives! 384 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,040 Oh, come on! 385 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,719 The ship was robbed by pirates 386 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,559 and my clothes were stolen again. 387 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,559 But it's not all doom and gloom. 388 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,439 I've still got my lucky trousers! 389 00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,719 Woo! 390 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,759 And I have travelled 75,000 miles, 391 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,719 so, actually... 392 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,199 {\an8}...best holiday ever! 393 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,480 {\an8}Ever, ever! 394 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,399 Oh, what are we going to do this summer? 395 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,599 Oh, probably nothing again. Hmm. 396 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,559 Not if I have anything to do with it! 397 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,719 Who are you?! 398 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,479 Hi, I'm Thomas Cook, 399 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,559 and I'm going to give you the trip of a lifetime. 400 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,639 Oh! Oh! Oh, she's gone. 401 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,519 New Thomas Cook Holidays! 402 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,399 In the first holiday of its kind, 403 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:31,559 I'm packaging together an incredible trip for the whole family, 404 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,799 all the way from Leicester 405 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,160 to Loughborough. 406 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,399 Wait, did you say, "Loughborough"? 407 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,919 Ooh, Loughborough! 408 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,279 Er, yeah. 409 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,679 Well, that's only 11 miles away. 410 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,919 That's right! 411 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,239 A whole 11 miles 412 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,119 of luxury train travel! 413 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,319 {\an8}Oh! 414 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,599 {\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa! Steady, mate. 415 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,519 Oh, so we're going first class? Well... 416 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,999 Second class? 417 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,719 One carriage of holiday-makers will be going second class. 418 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,799 The other nine will be going third class. 419 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,200 Your very own seat on a train! 420 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,039 Probably. 421 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,919 And this trip is all-inclusive, 422 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,879 with food provided at our destination. 423 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,639 Oh, that actually sounds quite good. What are we having? 424 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,400 A cup of tea and... 425 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,599 {\an8}Oh. So much for luxury. 426 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,439 We'll be giving out free flags to wave 427 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,759 and there'll be a band playing 428 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,399 to welcome you on your arrival. 429 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,760 {\an8}It's a dream getaway! 430 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,719 It's a third class train ticket, 431 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,319 a ham sandwich and a cheap flag. 432 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,559 Yeah, it doesn't really sound like a holiday. 433 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,639 Look, there are no other package holidays. 434 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,919 This is the first one, so it's literally just this or stay at home. 435 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,959 Sign me up. Yeah. Me, too. 436 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,359 {\an8}Oh, thanks, guys. 437 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,119 {\an8}Thomas Cook Holidays. 438 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,519 Where will your next adventure take you? 439 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:49,999 To be honest, it's probably going to be 440 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,960 Loughborough again next year, but... 441 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,879 When I'm on holiday, I love a treat. 442 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,639 That might be a trip to something like a theme park, 443 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,679 or eating something tasty! 444 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,079 Hello, you! 445 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,679 Nice candyfloss! 446 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,999 And in my book, the bigger the better. 447 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,959 In Victorian times, though, 448 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,639 they had teeny tiny servings of ice cream called penny licks. 449 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,079 Mm. Ah! 450 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,639 I dropped my candyfloss in the bin. 451 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,279 Oh! I'll go and get it. 452 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,999 Oh, bonus! 453 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,079 I love toppings! 454 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,400 Mm! 455 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,959 Just when you thought the British summer time couldn't get any better. 456 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,799 Oh, look over there! It's the ice cream cart! 457 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,079 Yes, it's everyone's favourite Victorian summer treat - 458 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,399 the penny lick, 459 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,599 the refreshing instant snack that you can share with friends. 460 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,519 One penny lick, please. 461 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,999 Our taste sensations include lemon, 462 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,719 strawberry, vanilla 463 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,079 and the saliva and germs 464 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,879 of whoever had the glass last. 465 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,199 Flavour? 466 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,759 Erm, er, vanilla, 467 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,559 without the saliva and germs. 468 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,159 They ain't optional. 469 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,799 Right. And how much is a penny lick? 470 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,279 Are you trying to be funny? 471 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,599 {\an8}The penny lick costs you 472 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,639 {\an8}just one penny... 473 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,479 Well, yes, I suppose that is cheap. 474 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,519 ...and a fairly high risk of infection. 475 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,119 You do wash these glasses, don't you? Yeah, sometimes. 476 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,679 Achoo! 477 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,639 I mean, if it's been properly licked clean, there's no need. 478 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,199 HE SPITS 479 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,159 Beautifully licked clean. 480 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,119 You could eat your dinner off that. 481 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,919 I love them because the cold gives me 482 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,639 relief from the sores around my mouth. Ah! 483 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,119 Pick a penny lick. 484 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,519 They're quick, they're thick 485 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,759 and there's a chance they won't make you sick. 486 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,119 One penny lick, please, and have one yourself. 487 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,239 You're joking, ain't you? 488 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,120 I'm not eating that. 489 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,080 HE SNORTS 490 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,519 Madame, I present the most thrilling new experience in Paris, 491 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,039 the first of its kind in the whole world. 492 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,319 But it's just a wooden cart on a tiny train track. 493 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,119 It is so much more than that. 494 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,399 I'm sure that's fine. Oh! 495 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,999 In years to come, people will travel the world 496 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,719 and queue all day, just to ride one of these. 497 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,399 We call it Les Montagnes Russes. 498 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,279 Bon chance. Oh, aha! 499 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,999 After those huge ice slides that look like little mountains. 500 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,399 Precisely-y-y! Ah! 501 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,799 Of course, we don't have much ice here in Paris. 502 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,919 That is why we use the tracks. 503 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,199 So we are just in a box, hurtling down a hill very, very fast. 504 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,079 Oui! Isn't it awesome? 505 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,879 Er, shouldn't we wear some kind of safety strap 506 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,759 to keep us from flying out if it stops suddenly? 507 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,599 That sounds like a great idea, 508 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:28,999 but it's a bit late right now! 509 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,759 {\an8}Ahhh! 510 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,479 Oh! I'm sure the tracks 511 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,759 will keep us going in the right direction. 512 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,039 BANG 513 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,279 Er, what happens if the wheels come off? 514 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,959 {\an8}I guess we're about to find out! 515 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,359 {\an8}Oh, the exhilaration! The danger! 516 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,719 That is so much fun! Woohoo! 517 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,159 Ahh! Why would anyone find danger fu-u-u-u-un? 518 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,639 I don't know, Madame, 519 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,439 but the more injuries people have on this ride, 520 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,519 the more popular it becomes! 521 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,079 I would like to get off now. 522 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,120 I am going to be sick of it. 523 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,919 I'm afraid there is no way to stop the ride 524 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,799 until we get to the bottom. 525 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,959 Woohoo! Ahhh! 526 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,719 Yeah! 527 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,359 Oh! Ah! Ooh... 528 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,399 That's if we do stop at the bottom. 529 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,319 Just because the track stops, doesn't mean we will! 530 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,799 Hee-hee-ee! 531 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,719 Scream if you want to go faster! 532 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,199 Ahhh! 533 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,400 COW MOOS 534 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,879 Let's go again! 535 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,920 I am going home. Oh. 536 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:32,159 So, you go on roller-coasters and eat ice creams on your holidays? 537 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,439 I've got no idea what roller-coasters and ice creams are! 538 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,919 Or holidays. 539 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,159 In Medieval times, we don't have anything like that. 540 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,959 Well, not exactly, anyway. 541 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,319 Bit more, bit more. Bit more. 542 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,599 I'm trying to do it safely. 543 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,519 Ah! Ahh! 544 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,879 Oh, hello. 545 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,999 We're just building a medieval church. 546 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,759 It's hard work, innit, Dave? Yeah! 547 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,999 I'm shattered. A bit like my foot. 548 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,239 HE WHIMPERS 549 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,559 But luckily, building medieval churches 550 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,959 does mean you get a bit of time off now and again. 551 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,679 But can you tell me why? 552 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,080 Is it because...? 553 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,519 ...and pretend it's the end of the day. 554 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,919 The answer is... 555 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,399 ...B. We get some holy days off. 556 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,479 In fact, that's where your word "holidays" comes from - 557 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:23,879 our holy days. 558 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,959 Yeah, where you going for your holy feast tomorrow, Ted? 559 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,599 Church, same as everyone else. 560 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,759 Cor. Well, we'd better finish building it, then! 561 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,279 Ah! Oh... 562 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,520 You're all right. 563 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,719 Hey! Hi, guys! 564 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,039 Holiday time! 565 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,959 I can't believe I am going to my first 566 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,479 Thesmophoria! 567 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,519 She is going to love it! 568 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,199 A girls-only festival, 569 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,199 right here in Ancient Athens, 570 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,559 celebrating the fertility goddess Demeter! 571 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,919 Woo! 572 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,159 You are an absolute 573 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,639 bottom-faced poop-for-brains 574 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,959 for having not gone before! That's actually quite hurtful. 575 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,039 Oh, no, babes, that's the pre-party bit of Thesmophoria 576 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,879 where we all insult each other. 577 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,360 You hairy smellbag! 578 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,239 You have... a butt like the Parthenon. 579 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,919 Because it's big, old and smelly. 580 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,240 Yay! Great Thesmophoria insult! 581 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,119 Oh, hiya! 582 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,399 Olympia, 583 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,559 you look... amazing! 584 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,079 She knows about the pig guts, right? What? 585 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,919 Girlies love guts! 586 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,759 We sacrifice piglets 587 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,159 and then we mix their guts with dough! 588 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,519 Hit the link for more easy-breezy guts and dough recipes! 589 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,399 And then we throw them all into a big pit. 590 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,599 Yay! 591 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,679 {\an8}One woman gets chosen to be something called the bailer 592 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:36,839 {\an8}and they have to kind of 593 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,199 go into the pit and scooch around in all of the 594 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,479 pig gut mush, 595 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,399 and then they scoop it all up and spread it on the altar. 596 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,119 Congratulations. 597 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,799 We thought it'd be cool if you were the bailer this year. 598 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,439 You're so lucky, Olympia. 599 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,759 Hashtag blessed. 600 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,239 She bailed! 601 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,999 Can you believe you got to be bailer at your first Thesmophoria? 602 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,399 I honestly can't. 603 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,199 Thesmophoria gift time! 604 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,799 SHE OINKS LIKE A PIG 605 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,479 Hit below to buy our very own terracotta piggy collection, 606 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,279 perfect for you and your friends! 607 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,079 You know, sometimes we just give each other the gifts instead 608 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,639 of bothering with all the bailer and somebody scooping around 609 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,399 in all the pig gut mush stuff! Wait, what? 610 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,399 What, so the... the gunk smooshing, that was all optional?! 611 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,839 You butt-brained, 612 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,279 bone-headed, baboon-bottomed bores! 613 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,999 Awkward. Actually, erm, the insults are at the START of the festival. 614 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,679 Yeah, that was actually quite hurtful. 615 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,520 Don't forget to like and subscribe. 616 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,399 Pig guts? Now, that sounds like my kind of festival! 617 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,759 Is it all you can eat? 618 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,319 LOUD RUMBLING 619 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,319 Oh! That's made me hungry now. 620 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,559 Still, nothing beats my favourite kind of holiday. 621 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,679 I do like to be beside the seaside, 622 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,799 and we've got Queen Victoria to thank 623 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,239 for helping make seaside holidays popular. 624 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,359 But it was people like holiday camp pioneer Billy Butlin 625 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:55,760 who really changed things. 626 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,239 Thanks to him, seaside breaks became more affordable 627 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,359 for everyone - from queens to rats. 628 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:04,600 Happy holidays! 629 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,240 ♪ Yeah 630 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,239 ♪ Ah! 631 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,839 ♪ Oh, no 632 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,199 ♪ The beach was not traditionally where one would go 633 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,079 ♪ And here in Bognor 634 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,759 ♪ Yeah, this water's so cold! 635 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,679 ♪ But doctors said it helps to make your gout go 636 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,000 ♪ Gout go 637 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,079 ♪ It's cool to be by the sea 638 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,359 ♪ Now it's cool to be by the sea! 639 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:32,799 ♪ I like to be by the sea 640 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,159 ♪ And to take all my family 641 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,999 ♪ I change in a bathing machine 642 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,439 ♪ I see the sea but it can't see me 643 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,199 ♪ Even a royal empress needs this vacation by the sea 644 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,000 ♪ I'm promenading 645 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,079 ♪ While the kids are bucket-and-spading 646 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,479 ♪ Oh, yeah! 647 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,359 ♪ In the sea we're paddling and wading 648 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,519 ♪ Na-na-na-na 649 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,119 ♪ Break by the ocean Break by the ocean 650 00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,919 ♪ Donkey rides, baby 651 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,399 DONKEY BRAYS 652 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,879 ♪ Or they'll dig a sand castle maybe 653 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,319 ♪ Oh, yeah! 654 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,080 ♪ Watch a Punch and Judy show daily 655 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,719 ♪ Na-na-na-na 656 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,639 ♪ Break by the ocean Break by the ocean... ♪ 657 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:15,839 Ayy! 658 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:16,920 Ahh! 659 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,559 ♪ Seaside 660 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,519 ♪ Factory workers sure like to be beside 661 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,959 ♪ I thought for their week off I could provide 662 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,839 ♪ A holiday with entertainment supplied 663 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,680 ♪ Supplied 664 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,479 ♪ Holiday camp by the sea 665 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,639 ♪ My holiday camp by the sea 666 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,839 ♪ I called it "Butlins" cos I named it after me 667 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,479 ♪ I'll do everything I can 668 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,799 ♪ To make my campers all happy 669 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,879 ♪ Catering for all their needs... ♪ 670 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,239 Obviously, for a fee. 671 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,359 KER-CHING! 672 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,680 ♪ Candyfloss, baby 673 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,359 ♪ Or a knobbly knee contest maybe 674 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:58,999 ♪ Oh, yeah! 675 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,040 ♪ Grandparents, mums, dads and their babies 676 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,919 # Everyone has fun by the ocean 677 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,399 ♪ Break by the ocean 678 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,799 ♪ It's cool to be by the sea 679 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,999 ♪ Now it's cool to be by the sea 680 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,799 ♪ Yeah, yeah, when we came along 681 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,119 ♪ It became a cool place to be 682 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,119 ♪ I wish that we could stay It's cool to be by the sea 683 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,319 ♪ And it's all thanks to him and me Na-na-na-na 684 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:25,119 ♪ Break by the ocean Break by the ocean. ♪ 685 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,359 Shall we all go and get fish and chips? 686 00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:28,680 Yeah! 687 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,680 ♪ Candyfloss, baby. ♪ 688 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,760 Shall we all go and get fish and...? LAUGHS 689 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,959 ♪ The past is no longer a mystery 690 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,599 ♪ Hope you enjoyed 691 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,160 ♪ Horrible Histories. ♪ 49973

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