Original subtitles

Listen,

we have the problem solved. All we have to do now is find a solution.

Like what?

Like, like deep throat.

Deep throat, deeper than deep your throat.

Deep throat, don't roll a bone.

Don't get your goat.

By George.

Oh, Robert.

Nice composition there, huh?

Nice news at noon today.

Sorry about that, Senator, but I couldn't help myself. News is news.

It's not my mother.

It's not my mother.

Wait a minute.

There is nothing wrong with temporary alliances between feminists and a few of

us. Come on, Laura.

But women want to... Women want to be free to express their own sexuality.

They don't need guilt, shame, and repression.

Served up this time as feminism.

She gets all spazzy like she's losing her breath.

Like she's having an orgasm?

Yeah, like she's coming.

Oh, no.

I knew I should have told her. It may be too late now.

Should have told her what? Too late for what?

Don't you see? She's inherited it from her mother.

I don't understand.

There's no tumor in her throat.

That's her clitoris.

Why am I having these dreams?

Cavemen, Romans.

There's gotta be a reason for this.

When we last left off in Deep Throat 4, Linda Lovelace was taping her

autobiography for the Evening Gazette. Through a series of strange dreams, she

eventually wrote The Psychosexual Anthropological History of the World. It

became a bestseller and made her the famous author she is today.

So, as she continues her autobiography... All right, where did I

It all started a year ago.

My success, I guess I could say, is due to a bad experience.

I was fired from my waitress job.

But an important lesson to always remember is that a creative mind can

bad experience into a very positive one.

They do what they're supposed to do.

I'm sorry. I had a talk with you once already. I'm sorry. It's not my fault.

I know.

this job i'm sorry baby i know you need a job but i got i have to keep my

partners happy too i gotta let you go i'm sorry i gotta play the heavy but

gotta be done okay

How the fuck am I going to pay for the next semester?

Still can't believe I was fired.

I hate that restaurant.

Well, now that I have the afternoon to kill, I think I'll go to the beach.

It's so pretty out here.

The breeze feels great.

This is definitely the place to clear my head.

How am I going to pay for college?

How am I going to take those anthropology courses?

Well, I can always be a beach bum.

No.

No, I have too much ambition for that.

Let me get comfortable.

Oh, man, the pressure.

I can't tell Dad I lost my job.

You know, I wonder...

I wonder if he'll lend me the money to finish school.

I'm so tired.

The sun is so hot. It's making me tired.

I can't fall asleep. I just can't.

I just know I'll get another one of those sex dreams.

I'm so tired of black rogue ladies teaching me about sex and blowjobs.

I've got to stay awake.

I'm so tired.

Damn it.

Linda. Come on, Linda. Wake up.

Linda, your dream girl is calling you. Come on, Linda. The classroom is waiting

for you. Come on. Come on, sleepyhead.

Wake up, Linda.

Now today, boys and girls, we're going to talk about the Roman Empire.

Yes, the Roman Empire. And what part of the empire do you think we're going to

talk about?

We're going to discuss the thing that made them perfect, their orgies, and how

those women could suck a mean dick.

And the reason being, they used animal fat on the roof of their mouths.

But I've supplied the margarine.

So I want you all to practice.

You pay close attention, Linda.

Quiz after class.

Film at 11.

Well, don't just sit there. Do something.

um

Thank you.

Okay, we're well oiled here.

um yes

We've got to do it with the margarine.

Oh, like the professor said, huh? Sure, like the professor said. Well, let's try

it. Here, you try it first.

Thank you.

Thank you.

When do I get to have some of that nice hard dick?

Oh, why don't you ask the professor?

Professor?

That's it. That's it. Real hard.

Wonderful. Wonderful. You're really learning your lessons well. Really

your lessons very nicely.

Oh yeah.

Oh.

Linda, even professors get horny once in a while.

No.

Another nutty dream.

Why in hell am I dreaming about my teacher?

And that class?

Roman civilization based on sucking a mean dick?

I must be going crazy.

I'm not going to work for an escort service, so sex can't be the answer.

My teachers say that I'm a very good writer, but that won't do any good

finish college.

I love history, the study of civilizations, geography, but all that's

is to teach it.

And then I would need a Ph .D. to teach it at a college level.

I could be a historian.

That sounds dull.

Oh, I know.

I'll be a lifeguard.

That way I can just hang out at the beach all day long.

My dad would just love that.

I thought dreams... I thought dreams are supposed to help a person.

What the fuck is that now?

Well, I'm Tamara Lee. The maid service sent me.

And this is my boyfriend, Steve.

Hi. What do you think you're doing in my living room?

Well, I read your book about sex through the ages.

And I just wanted to have sex in Linda Lovelace's house.

I don't believe this is happening to me.

Carry on.

Bye.

Come on.

Okay.

um

There's the guy.

um um

um um

um um

oh oh

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh yeah.

Yes. Oh.

way I can just hang out at the beach all day long.

The sun's starting to go down. I guess that's enough beach for one day.

Of course.

An important lesson to always remember, Linda, is

things can't get much worse.

When they're this bad, they can only get better.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

I'm never gonna get my degree.

Maybe I can do a little reading.

I'll study some more world history.

I'm not kicked out of college yet.

Maybe this will take my mind off my problems.

That sun made me so sleepy.

Please, God, no more dreams.

Linda!

Linda, get out of bed.

It's your dream come.

Linda, get out of bed, you lazy fox.

Linda, wake up.

What is this?

This is how sex took place in ancient Rome.

Notice how these women use lard to lubricate their throats so that they can

throat their meth.

Marv?

Bye.

Thank you.

Notice how the girl below the waterfall looks a lot like me.

That is you.

Oh, oh.

Oop!

Ah!

Ugh!

Enough sex for you. Time to go back to bed.

God,

why am I having these dreams?

Cavemen? Romans?

There's got to be a reason for this.

I don't understand.

How?

What a great topic for a book.

The sexual history of the world.

How?

George Washington became the father of our country.

Fuck,

how am I going to get my job back?

Oh, God, how am I going to do it? How am I ever going to get my job back?

You know, Linda, there's a little fact that you could do the best cocksucker in

the whole world. The best, you hear me?

The best.

Linda, you've got to be the best at something.

Honey, find something you like to do and be the best at it, okay?

Why didn't I think of that?

I know exactly how to get my job back.

Oh, yeah.

you like to do and be the best.

Oh, that's it.

Oh, God, why didn't I think of that earlier?

a little margarine.

Linda, what are you doing here? Did you come here for dinner or something?

You want me to be the best at something?

Well, I'm here to sell you.

What the hell are you talking about?

See what I'm good at?

Thank you.

No.

Does this mean I get my job back?

Job back?

I'm sure I can persuade the other partners to give you your job back. I'll

to them tomorrow, okay?

No, no, no. I want a raise, too.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You already got your job back. You want a raise on top of it? Yeah.

You want the world, too?

Think of it this way. Not only is this restaurant a good investment, but you

have a great blowjob in 20 months.

Really?

Why not?

Cool.

Alright, we're supposed to go to dinner. What is your problem?

I tried calling you at work today.

The guy turns around and tells me you're out the back for two hours.

Some flimsy is probably fucking your waitresses again, are you?

No, I was doing business back there.

That's why he just happens to drop the name Linda Lovelace is there with you.

I was in the back talking business with Lovelace.

We're discussing her getting her job back and her getting a raise, which I

both.

You know what that dumb girl thinks?

That she can make, the amount of money that she makes with the tips in the

restaurant will put her through college and also, get this, become part owner of

the restaurant. Can you believe that nonsense?

Yeah. I can believe that you were doing work instead of playing up. Oh, that's

good.

But do you want to know why?

Um. Because of my honest faith.

I doubt it.

I know that you're one shot a day, man. If you've been playing up with this

Linda Lovelace, you won't be able to get it up. And I'm going to prove it to

you. Isn't it like putting a lot of added pressure on me? I mean, I've been

working hard over these days.

It's not really fair, is it?

But... So you don't think I have anything to hide?

Why don't I have a little bit of what you're drinking?

Go for it.

Thank you, sweetheart.

So, you think you can get it up without any hassles.

Let's prove it.

I see no problems.

Okay.

Shall I help you?

Yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

See, and you will work.

You have no reason to do this.

so so

Hey,

where'd you learn that gimmick with the margarine?

Some prince taught me.

You son of a bitch.

um um

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh God.

Ugh.

Okay, due to the fact that we gave Linda a raise, and because of her publishing

rights of her new book, this is going to be a tough one to get through, but I'm

going to try it.

Psychosexual Anthropological History of the World.

They get it?

We've decided to bring her in as part owner of the restaurant.

So what this means is that you're going to have to listen to her.

But, as always, most importantly...

You guys are all still going to have to listen to me.

Okay? We'll give her a nice round of applause.

It's nice to know that my book has inspired so many.

One lesson, one final lesson,

always remember.

When you teach something, you become the best.