Original subtitles

Brothers and sisters hunting for witches and ghosts?

They should know better than to taunt the horny spirits of their local haunted

house.

Let's see how all my lovely demons corrupt these naughty siblings.

Wait, are you getting this?

Yeah, man.

You're supposed to say speeding, bro.

Whatever.

Amber, you got your slate?

I do.

Great. Okay.

Awesome. All right. Yeah. Let's get moving.

Sorry. There you go, man.

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen, ghouls and ghosts, we gather here today at the

spookiest house in the neighborhood on the scariest night of the year.

to hopefully find some ghosts and find out what the heck they want with our

town. They've been terrifying and, you know, driving everyone crazy for

generations in our little neighborhood, and we gotta get down to business with

them. So, for starters, I would like to introduce my step -sister.

She's pretty cool, I guess.

She is a psychic, so she's gonna help us.

Speak to these guys today, right? Yeah, I mean even the dead need love too So

we're gonna talk to them and we really hope you guys love our video.

Is there anything here right now?

I think hmm.

There's a lot of spirits Okay,

okay, so we're gonna get to know them in a little bit so next I would like to

introduce my dog Lawson Come on

bro, you know I like being on camera

But look, we better make some money off this before my dad finds out I used his

credit card to buy an expensive -ass camera.

Man, we're going to make a ton of fucking money, bro. Once we get these

on camera, everyone's going to want to buy this footage.

We better.

And lastly, but not leastly, the beautiful

Amber. She's Lawson's stepsister. Isn't she a doll, everybody?

We wouldn't be able to do this without her because she is the producer, the

heart of this operation.

Isn't that correct?

Yes, that's correct.

And why don't you tell our fans here a little bit about your role?

Okay. Well, like he said, I'm the producer, so I do all the findings and

histories about, I mean, I guess, not this place.

And, yeah, nobody likes to do it, but I do.

I don't know what we would do without her.

She is the best.

Yeah, basically, that's the squad, and we're going to find out what these

ghostly ghouls are doing in here. And, yeah, stay tuned.

All right.

Come on, y 'all. Get this Ouija board out and get this ball rolling already.

Oh, my gosh.

Nate, are you sure we should do this? I'm getting really weird vibes in this

house. Oh, my God. Stop.

Break it out.

You know.

Those aren't real anyway. We're just doing this so we can make some money.

I don't know. I agree with River.

Once I messed up the history of this place, it just gave me the creeps.

Nate, you didn't tell me there was a history.

Nate, you didn't tell her this place was built over an old cemetery?

I mean, no.

She's supposed to be a psychic, so I figured she would figure that out on

herself.

All right.

You guys ready?

Yeah. All right, y 'all.

Let's just do a dry run first with the Ouija board. That way, Lawson knows what

to film, okay?

So let's just keep it creepy and fun.

Creepy and fun.

You got it?

Okay.

Why are we in this stupid -ass cockpit?

Well, I thought we'd look really cute, it's Halloween, and we'd get a lot of

views.

Yeah. It's all for the views.

Right?

I mean, you look pretty cute.

But, um, let's get started.

Alright.

Oh gosh, did someone hear that?

I did hear that.

We're not even started yet.

I told you this place had a bad vibe.

All right, everyone.

Okay, guess this is it.

Okay.

Hear me, spirits.

Forgive my stupid stepbrother's comments.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

You guys know I'm an ally to your kind anyway.

Spirits of this house, please reach out.

Please show us that you're here.

We could just fake it.

No, give it time.

They're here.

Um, you know, go.

Are real, right?

Oh, my God.

They're so real.

Fucking dork.

High gold, you guys.

Oh, we're going to be fucking rich. I think they're mad.

Hold on.

Yes.

Yes, they're mad.

What are they mad at?

Oh, spirits, why are you mad? What have we done to offend you?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I swear I'm not doing this.

Oh, my God.

F. I'm not fucking with us. I'm not fucking doing that.

Wait. It's spelled off.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You're doing it. I'm not. You're doing it.

No, I'm not.

Listen.

I know you think that you could, like, scare me or something.

Oh, my God. But this is not working.

This is so not even about that need.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

That's scary. That's really scary.

Make it stop.

What do you want from us?

What is that thing?

You must have bought it like that. It must be like... It's not off.

I don't know what that means.

What? Figure it out.

Make it stop.

See?

We have to make the ghosts happy.

I'm not taking off my clothes.

We have to.

Do we have to?

I mean, we don't know what could happen if we don't. These ghosts are clearly

very powerful.

I don't know about all this, but... Come on, you guys.

You are a psychic, right?

Yes. Don't you trust me?

You know what?

Yeah, you have no idea what that could mean. Think about it.

All right, everyone take off your costumes.

Come on.

Oh,

my

God. Oh,

my God.

It's not like that.

I just bite on you more often.

Oh my god, you guys are fucking gross.

We should get rid of them with the ghost.

That's for sure.

I mean, that's part of your costume too, right?

All of it up.

You guys are such boys.

Why are you hard?

Why are you looking?

You interested?

Oh my god.

Whatever.

Oh my god, whatever.

And why are you hard?

You know, you don't have to cover your tit.

You're such a perv.

Can we get this over with?

Okay. Are they happy or?

Let's see.

Are you satisfied, ghost?

No.

They did what they wanted.

What do you want, ghost?

S -E -S?

S -E -S?

S -E -S?

Ghost.

These motherfuckers are horny, though.

Oh, my God.

What was that? Oh, my God, oh, my God.

What was that? This is really scary, you guys.

Guys, we need to get out of here. Someone must have cut the power lines or

something.

Are you kidding me? It's clearly the ghost.

This house is old as fuck.

It's part of electricity.

I'm going to go check the fuse box.

I'll come with you.

That's protection.

Great idea.

I'm going to bring this in case the ghosts have any more messages.

How are you going to protect them?

Shut up.

Yeah,

but, you know, at least we can keep each other company, right?

I guess. I don't want to die tonight.

All right, well, I guess it's just you, me, and the ghosts now.

I guess so.

So, we should probably, like, give them what they wanted, right?

What did they want?

Check, check, check.

You saw it. They're horny.

I don't know.

You've messed around before.

Yes, but that was a long go.

Come on.

Don't. Don't do me.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Come on.

Don't you miss it?

I'm not going to answer that question.

They ran off. They're not here.

We don't want to get, like, cursed or something.

I guess.

Maybe. I don't know.

But I don't want to get cursed.

Yeah, right?

But trust it for them. They'll probably want to watch that.

Okay. Yeah, you don't have to, like, put it in your mouth or anything yet.

Just, like, soak it a little bit.

This better make the ghost happy.

I'm sure it will.

Ain't that right, ghost?

You hear that?

I think they said yes.

Oh, no, they didn't hear me. You're just hearing things.

Don't scare me like that.

I got you.

That's how I like it. You remember it.

Yeah, but it's so huge.

I don't know.

River!

Lawson?

River, are you okay?

Lawson, are you okay?

Here.

Should we go? No, maybe we should stick together.

Here.

Hold my hand, okay?

We have to build up sexual energy to appease the spirit

Don't look at me, please.

Okay,

bitch.

Thank you.

I don't know how it feels when my sister gets fucked.

I think the Ouija board is telling us that they both need to suck our dick.

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay.

Don't let me suck his dick.

Some smart board, if

you ask me.

I don't think I want to see my brother in my view.

I don't either.

You shouldn't even be here.

You should not be here.

Man, don't talk to her like that. She's the producer.

We're a team, bro.

I don't know about this.

Don't worry about it.

Oh yeah.

I thought you'd deep throw his hip, Ty. I thought you could deep throw mine,

too. Oh, my God. Stop watching me. No.

Whatever. Don't look at me.

I

think

the Ouija board said something about you sucking my balls.

That's what the ghosts want.

You know what?

I think the Ouija board was saying that it wants you to stroke my dick while she

sucks the tip of it. No way.

Or sucks the balls or something like that. Yeah, it was saying that. I saw

You know what?

Stop flying across the room. No bad energy.

Okay.

Okay, that's it.

Yeah.

But she wasn't even fucking it yet.

That's not even going to count. We're going to be cursed because of you.

Oh my god.

Fine, but she has to do it too.

I'm not doing this by myself.

No one can do that.

If I have to do it, everyone does.

Whatever. Just do me first, and then... I guess.

That's what the spirits want. I guess I have to do it.

What are you doing?

Don't look.

Oh, gosh.

I don't know.

Oh, calm down, the ghost.

All right, all right, that's enough.

That's enough.

Your turn.

It's my turn.

Trust me, I did not want to do this.

I do it for the ghost, okay? Do this for the ghost.

Okay, that's enough. I can't do anymore.

No, thank you.

I don't know if I can put it next to you.

I don't want to see you do that.

Oh, my God.

That must be the ghost train.

Oh my god, everyone's...

Oh my god, oh my god. What is it?

Hmm. Oh, I can believe you were looking to kiss.

Oh, yeah?

You know what? That sounds about right.

Sounds like something that pointy ghost would say.

Sorry, this is a good position.

Oh, now I'm super close to my brother.

I'm okay.

Oh, don't look at me, dude. Don't look at me.

You're distracting me. I'm trying to focus.

Well, don't look.

I think he's telling us to do something.

This is too close.

It's not working, you guys.

I think he's telling us to do something else.

What does it say?

Hurry, Amber. Touch my balls. It'll stop.

No.

Come on, it'll stop.

We need the lights to stop. Amber, do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay.

Oh, yes.

Oh, there it is. See?

It worked.

Maybe you try the same thing, just in case.

But it stopped.

What if it starts again?

Those goats are pretty cool.

I don't want to scare her those days. I don't either.

Oh, my goodness. This is way too close.

Oh, my God.

Is all my brother watching me?

Oh, my God.

What is that?

Wait, what's going on?

Hurry, Amber, quick.

Quick.

Hurry, quick. Where's the super stop?

Oh,

so bad.

It worked.

It did work.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God, it's happening again. Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

It worked.

It worked.

Here, do it one more time to be safe.

What, them with 59 or something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, probably.

I think that's Morse code for 69.

Okay. Okay.

Um... Here, get on top of her.

Okay.

Alright. Oh my god.

Ow.

Now fuck her while you guys do that. Oh my god, but your dick is so close to my

face. Well, that's perfect.

Just in case you're freaking out again, it'll be nice and good. Oh my god.

My face is way too close to your dick.

I don't know what's... Oh my god, this is so weird.

Definitely, I do not want to see my brother fucking you.

Your balls are hurting me in the face, brother.

Well, I mean, you're kind of right in the way.

What is that?

Uh -huh.

See that? They flickered again. Quick, quick.

Here,

keep them in there so it doesn't happen again.

There you go.

I did not see the white flicker at all.

You're getting fucked. You probably just can't.

You can see anything.

You're too close.

Oh, my God.

Hey, brother.

What is it? You're talking again.

Why?

You're gonna be selfish like that. But I don't want to fuck my brother.

Me either.

Oh my god, that's so weird.

Alright, curse your eternity.

Oh my god, oh my god. Quick, quick.

Fuck, fine.

Don't look at me though. Don't look at my face. Oh my god.

I'm only doing this because I have to do it.

Oh god. You ready? Don't want them bad fears. Oh my god, don't look at me.

for appeasing a ghost.

Oh my god. Oh my

god.

Yeah, I think we gotta try everything

Oh, man.

Just in case.

Oh, dear.

I don't need it.

This is weird.

What the fuck? The board told us to do this.

Yeah, I mean, we don't want to get cursed or haunted.

But the last time you flickered.

I mean... Oh, my God.

Let's figure it out. Let's try something else.

Oh, it's flipping. Quick, quick, quick.

Come on, come on. Yeah, it says to come.

All right, come on. Where do you want us to come?

Where?

Face, face, face, face.

Face, face.

Face this.

On us?

Do you want some toothpaste?

I hope so.

Do you want some toothpaste?

Yes.

I hope the ghost came as much as us.

I think we did. I think we beat off the ghost. Yeah.

All right, mission accomplished. Y 'all can come out.

Hey, we did that.

Thanks for the 50 bucks.

Anytime.

with 40. This whole time.

Really? This is fucking ridiculous.