All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.of.Payne.S14E13.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

Whoo, I just love the slogan y'all came up with.

"Glo, working for a brighter future."

That! Thank your brother.

-I taught him well. -[chuckles]

You know, I think the neighbors are going

to really appreciate you going the Michelle Obama route.

The Michelle Obama route?

Yeah, you know, Jazz, they go low, we go high.

Now, I can't say it was easy.

I really wanted to go after her ass.

But I'm trusting Malik here.

That's a good thing.

Yeah, you know, I think people are smart,

and the truth will tell itself.

She picked the wrong family to peg

with the bad neighbor tag.

Exactly.

I mean, Dad, Uncle Curtis, Auntie Ella,

they've been in this neighborhood forever.

And look at God.

She single-handedly put you with us,

when that really just made you look better.

And then after all of this, Dad became a local hero

for how he handled that mass shooting.

Yep.

And CJ and your uncle were both honored as city heroes.

Yep.

All of this backfired on her ass.

-And I love it. -Me too.

I see this house is officially campaign headquarters.

Yes, yes, yes.

Thank you for the use of your home, Chief Payne.

Or should I say, award-winning Chief Payne.

[chuckles] CJ will suffice, but thanks.

So let me know when you want me

to run this stuff to the post office.

Okay, it'll probably be another hour or so.

Yeah, this neighborhood is gonna be flyered out.

Yeah, but Glo's flyers are pretty positive.

Ah, that's a relief.

Yeah, when they go low, we go high.

-Oh, I like that, Jazz. -[Jazmine] Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah, you can steal it if you want, Mommy, I don't mind.

Wow.

I'm gonna go high.

[sighs deeply]

CJ.

Uncle Curtis.

What's happening?

Your man Braxton, what happened with Braxton?

What about him?

We paid him all that money to represent me and Floyd.

Eh?

I mean, he redlined the contract for you.

CJ, we need him to close the deal.

-You haven't spoken to him? -Yeah.

We talked to him.

We told him to make whatever changes need to be changed.

Well, Unc,

there are a lot of changes that needed to happen.

Well, Braxton is the attorney.

He needs to get the attorney in.

Okay? I mean, we paid him all that money, man.

Fifteen hundred dollars.

Well, that's what he's doing, Unc?

Q-Anthony keeps calling me

wondering why we're not signing, man.

I bet he is calling.

What's that supposed to mean?

I guess you really didn't listen to Attorney Braxton.

Well, he's kind of hard to talk to.

Well, let me make it plain for you.

Please.

[sighs]

He doesn't think you should sign with Q-Anthony.

He thinks it's a bad deal.

How bad, CJ?

He says it's the worst deal he's ever seen in his life.

[birds twittering]

[airplane flying overhead]

[car alarm blaring, horn honking]

[sirens wailing]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[funky music]

After all that Attorney Braxton has said about this cat,

you still consider him doing business with this guy?

What Floyd said.

Okay, did you two see the business plan?

No, you didn't.

Have you done your research?

He's successful, Ella.

He don't have to fool with us.

The only reason he's fooling with us,

Ella, Floyd, is because he sees the business has potential.

Curtis, he don't care nothing about you or Floyd.

All he cares about is the money.

He stood right here, he told you that himself.

Well, baby, we got that in common.

Because all I want to do is make money.

This brother is crooked, Curtis.

Who the hell ain't crooked, Floyd?

Hell, all them folks who got millions of dollars are crooked.

Well, Curtis, the Bible is clear.

Look, Ella, please, don't start the Bible gibberish.

Okay. Mark 8:36.

You know it.

"For what shall it profit a man

to gain the whole world and lose his soul?"

And lose his best friend.

That might be a blessing.

You know what?

You can be real hurtful sometimes, bro.

Okay, look.

I'm not saying Q-Anthony is a saint.

But look here, I don't need him to be my spiritual leader, okay?

I just need him to help us take this business to the next level.

We partner with him, we make it big,

and we can move along our merry way.

Wait, Curtis, once you make it big,

moving along your merry way may not be an option.

That part.

Hence the contract the size of a book.

[sighs] You two are stressing me out.

Well, you know what's stressing me out.

What, the deacon down at the church that's been acting up?

-Foolishness with Laura. -Ella, please.

Curtis is all my conscience, baby, okay?

Let it go, baby.

You ain't got nothing to do with that.

Wait, wait, what's going on with Laura?

-Her and Calvin broke up. -What?

No, I mean, I thought they were such a cute couple.

No, they weren't.

Well, they broke up, Floyd,

because of an argument she had with this family.

Ella, we did not break them up.

Curtis, okay, but I still should call her.

And say what?

I don't know, I don't know.

But I'm a Christian, a Christian woman, Curtis,

and we're supposed to operate

in the spirit of love and forgiveness.

Ella, you can forgive her from afar.

-I just feel so... -Do not call her.

I do, I feel so terrible.

But, well, then go down to the church to pray.

Just sing one of your songs, do all that.

Do not call her, Ella.

Okay, the girl is lulu.

She'll twist the whole conversation around

and just make it all worse.

Okay.

Okay, Curtis, I won't call her.

Thank you.

[mellow music]

Okay boys, what's the verdict?

Does your dad make a good burger?

"Good", may be pushing it.

It was a little dry, Dad.

I felt like I had to drink a gallon of water after that.

But hey, we do appreciate the effort.

Look, you guys are a rough crowd.

[knocking on door]

Oh, that must be your mother.

Christian, get the door for me.

-Hey, Mom. -Hey, baby.

Hmm! So, how was lunch?

Dad made burgers.

How were they?

-I'll tell you in the car. -[chuckles] Okay.

He said they were dry.

Yeah, that's because you take the spatula

and you mush them down like this.

I thought that's what you're supposed to do.

If you want a dry burger.

Oh, y'all never heard of no smash burger.

Noted. Boys, go grab your bags.

[sighs]

So, Mr. Payne... how are you doing?

-I'm fine. -Fine?

-Yeah. -Okay.

Okay, well, let me know

if there's anything that I can do to help.

Oh, well, you're already doing it.

I am?

Yeah, you're taking these boys off my hands for the day.

Gives me some time to think.

Well, I need you to do a little bit more than just thinking.

-Okay? -Yeah, well, what should I do?

Well, I mean, I don't know.

Women, you know, we go to the spa or, you know,

get together and have brunch with each other.

You know, you guys are a little weird.

Brunch and a spa day, that's not me.

Okay, well, listen.

What exactly is it that you enjoy?

-Do that. -Okay.

Brown liquor, football games, and a nap.

You are right.

You are right.

That is what you enjoy, I forgot.

It is.

Well, do that, but I also need you to get out the house.

-We'll see. -[Miranda] Okay.

Hey, guys, are you ready to go?

What are we going to do, Mama Miranda?

We are going to the museum.

-Yay! -Museum?

Yeah, you don't like the museum?

Nope, no way.

Okay, wait, have you ever been to the museum?

Nope.

Well, then how do you know, Junior?

-They're fun, big bro. -Yeah, for nerds.

-Uh, excuse you? -Junior, open your mind.

Why are you people so obsessed about me

learning new stuff all the time?

Okay, wait.

First of all, who are these "you people"

that you're referring to?

And second, you can learn something

and have fun at the same time.

That part. I'm going to just pray for the boy.

Don't worry, he is fine.

-Bye, Dad. -[Calvin] Have fun, kids.

[tense music]

Yes!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

That girl is bad!

She slammed! That is amazing.

-Bruh, you didn't see that? -Yeah.

-Bruh, you not into this game? -No, I'm not.

Come on, brother. This is the playoffs.

Come on, man. You love the playoffs.

Mmm!

I love the playoffs when I don't feel like

I've turned my back on millions of dollars, Floyd.

-Bruh, it was a bad deal. -Says who?

Well, says me.

Your wife, C.J., and even the doggone attorney.

-What do y'all know? -What do we know?

So if you can't trust your best friend,

the love of your life, your wife, and your nephew,

can you at least trust the attorney?

Y'all can't even see

the wilderness for the tree branches,

the tree limbs and stuff.

You got that so wrong.

You said you can't see the tree for the forest.

Come on, man.

Whatever the saying.

You know what the hell I mean.

Brother, if you didn't want to sign,

then you shouldn't have just called them

and tell them that it was no deal.

I was tired of you and Ella yapping, so I gave in.

Uh-uh, don't put that on me and her,

because here it is.

You are trying to walk away from this deal,

but don't turn around and be mad at us, all right?

-Yes, I can be mad at you. -No, don't be mad at me.

-Y'all pressured me. -Pressured you?

-Ain't nobody pressured you. -Yes, you did, Floyd.

-No, we did not. -Yes, you did.

[knocking on door] No, we did not.

You sure remember what you want to remember, don't you?

-We did not. -You did, too.

Did not.

-Q-Anthony! -[laughing]

-Curtis, my man. -My man.

-How you doing? -I'm good.

-Come on in. -All right, all right.

-Floyd. -Oh, wow!

They got Lily Williams doing the halftime.

-What's up, brother? -How you doing?

-Good? -Good.

Oh.

So, gentlemen, I couldn't believe that my attorney called

and said you didn't want to do business.

-Well, Q-Anthony... -Look, Curtis, listen.

I'm prepared to make you an offer that you can't refuse.

Oh, really?

I'd like to buy your company,

and I'm willing to pay good money, huh?

-Q-Anthony, you have a seat. -All right.

-Have a seat. -Uh-huh, yeah.

Well, uh, Q, we've been talking to our attorney,

and our attorney has advised us that we should not--

Floyd, you shut up, please.

-Excuse me. -Thank you so much.

Look here.

Didn't Ella just tell you that what a man's profit

tells him at church will make sure

that his soul is complete?

What verse is it?

You don't even know the Bible verse.

Shut up.

-Do the money need? -Bible verse?

Yeah, yeah.

-Don't pay him no mind. -[chuckles]

Floyd must keep you laughing all the time.

-Curtis. -I laugh to keep from crying.

Yeah, that makes two of us.

How long have you two been friends?

-Well, y'all are hilarious. -Too long.

-[chuckles] -Okay.

We was talking about an offer that we couldn't refuse.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

So, I want to do business with you guys, huh?

Like I said, best tasting barbecue I've ever had.

I think you're on to something.

You've said that.

Man your manners, Floyd.

I lost my manners when we had that crazy contract.

Crazy?

Well, that was a standard partnership deal.

That's not what my attorney said.

[sighs]

So, what's your offer, Q-Anthony?

Oh, so, I'm aware that you've invested

a lot of time and money and energy into this thing.

Yes, sir.

Now, I'm willing to make you whole

and let you walk away with a few hundred thousand dollars.

Okay, let me get this right.

So, you're saying you're going to pay back everything we spent

and we still get to walk away

with a few hundred thousand to spare?

I am.

When you said you'd make us an offer

that we couldn't refuse,

I didn't know it would really be an offer that we can't refuse.

I refuse.

If you don't stop talking crazy...

No, look.

I'm on half of this partnership, right?

So then, we can't go further unless I agree.

-Look, Floyd... -Hey, hey, hey.

Curtis, Floyd is right.

-Thank you. -Yeah, thank you.

You two should talk.

After all, he's your business partner.

Listen, just take your time.

When you are ready, here's my offer.

-Okay. -[Q-Anthony] Look it over.

-All right? -All right.

All right, so, call me

when you guys made a decision, all right?

All right. You got it, Q.

Hey, thank you for coming by, man.

-No, thank you for having me. -All right, all right.

All right. Floyd.

[laid-back music]

-Laura. -Hello.

-Mama Laura! -Hey, baby.

Hi. How you doing?

So, when are we going to go out for my birthday?

Yes, about that.

We're going to figure it out, okay?

-I promise you. -All right.

Hey, Junior.

Look at you. I like your swag.

You already know it.

Boys, meet my mama, Mrs. Elaine.

-Hi, Mrs. Elaine. -Hello, Mrs. Elaine.

Oh, hello.

It is a pleasure meeting both of you.

Okay, I think we should probably get going.

Bye.

-Bye, guys. -Bye.

-Bye-bye. -Bye.

Laura. Miss Elaine.

Calvin.

-So, what's up? -Nothing's up.

Calvin, I just came to get my things.

Have at it.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Thank you.

Hey, babe. Floyd left?

Oh, yeah, baby. Thank God.

-He left after the game. -Oh.

-That was some game, huh? -Hey, CJ.

-Yeah, we got it. -Hey.

Oh, from the look on your face,

Curtis, your team must have lost.

No, our team won.

Well, Curtis, what's wrong, baby?

[sighs deeply]

Q-Anthony came by and offered to buy the business

since we didn't take him up on the partnership.

-Really? Did he? -[Curtis] Yeah.

How much we talking?

-$600K. -Uh.

Enough to pay back everything we spent on the investment

and still walk away with hundreds of thousands to spare.

Wow, well, what are you going to do, baby?

Wow, well, what are you going to do, baby?

What do you think I should do, Ella?

Curtis, this one's up to you, babe.

What do you want to do?

I want to take the money.

Wow. Well...

What does he get?

Braxton said he gets everything.

Everything like what?

Like everything.

The truck, the equipment, the recipe,

the soft, the license, the name.

-[CJ] The name, too? -[clears throat]

He gets the name?

Do you still get to open a barbecue business if you want?

Nothing for five years.

But after that, if I want to start something,

I just can't use the recipe or the name.

Well, I don't know about this, Curtis.

[sighs deeply]

Well, baby, it's $600,000.

Come on, we're trying to build a nest egg.

-I know. -I ain't getting no younger.

And you definitely aren't getting no younger.

Curtis... be careful now.

-Be careful. -I'm sorry, baby.

Well, it looks like you got quite a decision to make.

Okay, Curtis, what does Floyd think about it?

Just, you know, Floyd-- Floyd's like you.

You're all emotional, you don't want to do it.

Curtis, I am not emotional, okay?

I'm not emotional.

I just think you need to take your time and think about it.

I say you shouldn't do it.

-I hear you. -Okay.

Uh, Ella, while you giving out all this advice...

-Hmm. -Did you call Laura?

No, I did not.

No. I listened to my husband's wise advice,

and I did not call her.

CJ?

What do you think I should do, Nephew?

I agree with Aunt Ella and Floyd.

CJ, $600,000, man.

Well, first...

I think your business is or will be worth

a lot more than that.

Okay. Second?

Second is, the business has brought you so much joy.

You know, since you opened the business,

I could see the happiness in your eyes.

Why would you even consider selling

something that brought you so much joy?

[mellow music]

Mama, is that everything?

-This is the last of it, baby. -Okay.

I'm just putting these books in this last box.

Goodbye, Calvin.

I wish you well.

Thank you, I wish you the same.

So this is it?

[sighs deeply]

This is it, Calvin.

Bye.

[laid-back music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

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