All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S14E23.Ricks.Assistant.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WADU_track3_[eng]

This is an ABC
color presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet, starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's Chris.

Hi, Joel.

Hi, Mr Nelson.

What have we got here?

Hot chocolate-- only ten cents.

Oh, that sounds reasonable.
How's business?

Are you kidding?

You know how many people
have passed by your house

this afternoon?

None.

None of them bought any
hot chocolate either.

Oh.

Well, that's a shame.
How about you?

You want some?

Oh, is it hot?

It was boiling when
I brought it out here.

When was that?

About an hour ago.

It's kind of
cooled off a little.

Why don't we take it in
the house and warm it up?

What about all my customers?

All your customers?

I'm it, and I'm going
in the house with you.

Come on.

There you are.

Thanks, Mrs. Nelson.

It's all right.

No charge for warming it up.

Remember, now,
that's $0.10 a cup.

I'm good for it.

Yeah, I can vouch for him.

That's OK.

Hey, that's real good.

Yeah, but it sure is
a tough way to make $10.

What do you need
to make $10 for?

Well, my father's
birthday's coming up.

I want to get something for him.

Well, that will take quite
a while if you have many more

days like today.

That's for sure.

Working sure isn't much
fun, is it Mr. Nelson?

Well, that all depends.

The secret is to find something
you really enjoy doing.

I really enjoy doing nothing.

Well, I'm afraid that
fields a little overcrowded.

Yeah.

Besides, you got plenty of time.

I don't know, Mr. Nelson.

I'm not getting any
younger, you know.

Well, you got a point there.

You just got to find
something that interests you.

That's right.
That's what David and Ricky did.

They cut lawns and washed
windows and sold lemonade.

They even had a paper route.

I thought David was a lawyer.

Well, we're talking
about when he was your age.

If I did all those things,
could I get to be a lawyer?

Well, they don't necessarily
lead up to being a lawyer.

For instance, Rick
started out by helping out

Dave at the office.

And he became interested,
and now he's studying law.

Sounds like a good idea.

Maybe I'll do
something like that.

Yeah, why don't you?

Ah, it's empty.

Well, I guess I better
be getting it home now.

OK, wait a second.

Let me give you $0.10.

You owe me $0.40, Mr. Nelson.

$0.40.

Yes, sir.

I filled your cup four times.

OK.

10, 20, 30, 40.

Thanks, Mr. Nelson.

You sure are a good customer.

Yeah, I sure am.

Bye, Mrs. Nelson.

Goodbye, Joel.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Oh, hi, Joel.

I imagine you're wondering
why I came down here.

Oh, yeah.

Now that you mention it,
why did you come down here?

Well, I want to ask you
a couple of questions.

Oh, hi, Rick.
Hi, Joel.

Like what?

Well, I'm thinking
about being a lawyer.

Well, good for you.

What do you want to know?

Well, first of all,
uh, what is a lawyer?

That's a good question.

I would say a
lawyer is a man who

is trained to advise people as
to their rights and obligations

according to the law.

I'm not sure I
know what that means.

Well, let's put it this way.

A lawyer is kind of
like your father.

He's a good person to know
when you're in trouble.

He gives you advice as how
to stay out of trouble.

Look, Joel.

I'm kind of busy this morning.

Why don't I turn you over to my
administrative assistant here.

Good luck.
OK, thanks.

Well, what would
you like to know?

Uh, what's your job?

Well, I do a lot
of different things.

Right now I'm
getting out the mail.

Is that hard?

No, not really.

You just take a letter or
bill, put it in the envelope,

seal the envelope,
put a stamp on it.

How about that?
The stamp's a little crooked.

Yes, Dave?
Oh, OK.

I'll tell him.

Rick, Dave wants to see you.

OK, thanks.

Can I do some of
these while you're gone?

Yeah, I guess so.
Be careful, though.

OK.

How's that?

That's very good.

How you doing?

Fine.

Finished them all.

- Finished them all?
- Yeah.

Pretty good, huh?

Yeah, that's very good.

What else do I do?

Well, why don't you
help Miss Edwards?

OK.

What you doing?

Well, I'm looking
up a law case.

You see, every time
a case is decided

in court it becomes part
of the public record,

and it's entered into
one of these books.

See, here's the one Dave
wanted me to look up--

"Payne versus Payne," 250
Federal Reports 125 1914.

Every case has a
reference number,

same as every house
has a street number.

Sounds like a good idea.

Well, it helps.

Would you mind
retyping this for me?

I made a few changes on it.
OK.

- Still here, huh?
- Yeah, Dave.

Can I talk to you now?

It's real important.

Well, OK.

Good.

I've definitely decided
I want to be a lawyer.

Well, that's great.

If there's anything I could
do to help, just let me know.

- Gee, thanks.
- OK.

When do I start?

Well, first you've got to go
through grade school, and then

high school, and then
college, and then law school.

Oh, I know that.

I mean, when do I
start working here?

Well, I'm afraid
you can't work here.

You have to go to school.

I mean, after school.

You used to work after
school and so did Ricky.

Your mother told me.

Well, that was different.

That was mowing lawns and
delivering papers and stuff

like that.
Yeah.

There really wouldn't be
anything you could do here.

It's all technical
and specialized.

Well, heck.
I just did all your work.

Rick?

Well, yeah.

Come to think of
it, I guess he did.

Well, how about it, Dave--

Mr, Nelson, sir?

Well, there's a lot more to
it than just mailing letters,

you know?

I mean, there's a
lot of legal work

that you probably
wouldn't understand.

Oh, by the way, did you
look up that case for me?

Yeah, I have it right here.

It's "Payne versus Payne,"
250 Federal Reports 125 1914.

Yes, it is.

How did you know that?

You just told me, remember?

How about it, Dave?

Well, look, Joel, why
don't you step into my office

and we'll talk it over?

Yes, sir.

See, I just happened
to mention it to him.

I didn't think he'd actually
show up at your office.

Well, he sure did.

I'll say this much for him.

He's sure a bright little guy.

Oh, yeah.

What'd you tell him?

Well, I just tried to let
him down as easily as I could.

I just explained to him
all the complications.

He's have to get
written permission

from his parents and
the school authorities,

that we'd have to arrange
for transportation for him

downtown every day.

And he needed a letter of
recommendation, a necktie,

and a short haircut.

That should have done it.

See, he's just trying to
earn $10 to buy a birthday

present for his father.

Ozzie, you have a visitor.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, hi, Joel.

Hi, Joel.

Glad you're here Dave.

I got all the stuff you wanted.

Here's a note from my
parents, written permission

from the principal
of the school.

And I got a bus pass.

Didn't have time to get the
hair cut and the necktie,

but I'll get those tomorrow.

Well, good.

Only thing, I don't see the
letter of recommendation here.

Well, I figured Mr.
Nelson would give me

a letter of recommendation.

Oh.

Well, now actually, I've never
been your legal employer.

But you would be
willing to state

that I'm of good character.

Ah, well, yes, I guess so.

Certainly.

When do I start work, boss?

Well, tomorrow, I guess.

Thanks.

Thanks to you too, Mr. Nelson.

- OK.
- Good evening, gentlemen.

Good night.

Oh, congratulations, boss.

Thanks a lot.

Hi, Miss Edwards.

Oh, hi, Joel.

I understand you're going
to be helping us out here.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Oh, hi, Joel.

Good afternoon, Mr. Nelson.

Mr. Nelson?

Yes, sir.

My dad told me that a office
is a very dignified place.

I guess it is at that.

What's my first job?

Uh, well--

The afternoon
mail just came in.

Do you think he
could handle that?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

Come on over here, Joel.

Yes, sir.

Now, the first thing we
do when we receive our mail

is open it and stamp it with
the time and date received.

Yes, sir.

Now, what I want you
to do is open each letter

and then stamp it
with this stamp.

Think you can do that?
Oh, sure.

That's easy.

I mean, yes, sir.
OK.

That ought to hold
you for a while.

- Oh, hi, Connie.
- Hi, Rick.

Hi, Rick.

Oh, hi, Joel.

What are you doing over here?

Mr. Nelson hired me.

Mr. David Nelson, that is.

That's right.

You have an assistant.

At least one of you
two has an assistant.

Oh.
Well, welcome aboard.

Thanks.

I'm stamping the mail.

Yeah, so I see.

Would you like
to do some, too?

We could work together.

Oh, no.

That's OK.

You could open the letters,
and I could stamp them,

unless you'd rather stamp them.

No, that's OK.

I have to go in and
talk to Mr. Nelson--

Mr. David Nelson, that is.

Is he busy?

I don't think so.

A little late, aren't you?

No, it's my usual time.

Maybe just seem that way
because Joel was in here early.

Hey, what's going on anyway?

He's taken over my desk.

Don't get excited.

He wanted to earn $10, and
I didn't have the heart

to turn him down.

I hope he won't get in your way.
Oh, no.

I don't think so.
He's a nice little guy.

Yeah.
Good worker, too.

Yeah, I know.

Is there anything special
you want me to do today?

Uh, no, I don't think so.

What about the
Emerson contracts?

No, we're not
quite ready on those.

I have to have another
meeting with them first.

What about the depositions
for the Gaines Electronics?

Oh, Connie took care
of those this morning.

Oh.

Well, there must be something
I can do around here.

Come to think of it, what did
you do around here yesterday?

Oh, I stamped a few letters.

Actually, Joel stamped most
of them, but I mailed them.

Hiring him might be the
start of a good economy move.

I can't hear you.

Just one more thing.

Yes, Mr. Nelson?

Uh, we kind of like to keep
up appearances around here.

Do you suppose you could
manage to wear a tie like Joel

and I do?

How about striped
trousers and a cutaway coat?

That'd be even better.

Oh, thanks.

How's your new assistant doing?

Oh, he's working
away like mad.

- Uh, Dave?
- Yeah?

You've got a
visitor out there.

- A client?
- Well, not exactly.

It's Joel's father.

Joel's father?

Tell him to come in.

OK.

Mr. Nelson, this is my dad.

- How do you do, sir.
- Glad to know you.

I hope we're not
interrupting anything.

No, not at all.

First of all, I
want you to know

how much we appreciate your
letting Joel help out here.

Oh.

Well, it's a pleasure.
He's a fine boy.

Well, thank you very much.

Now, I'll tell you
what I had in mind.

You know, we have a picture
of Joel's first birthday,

his first haircut,
first day in school.

And I thought it might be a nice
idea to have a picture of him

here-- you know, his
first day on the job.

Oh, sure.

Wonderful.

I'll just get my equipment.

Oh, Thank you.

Thank you.

Uh, that goes over here and
that over there, please.

I thought it might
be a cute idea

to get a picture of him
sitting behind your desk.

Is that OK?
Oh, sure.

Let me just get these
papers out of here.

Hold it.
Hold it.

Good.
Good.

How do you like that?

Now he's taken over
your desk, too.

Now, let's see.

Let's try one over there.

Your feet on the desk.

And you say he's
nine years old?

That's right.

The work I've been
doing is so important

that a 9-year-old boy can do it.

It's lucky they have child
labor laws in this country,

or I probably would have been
replaced a long time ago.

You're kidding, of course.

Just the other
day, I heard David

telling Judge Willoughby what
a wonderful job you're doing.

Oh, what did he
say I was best at?

Licking stamps?

Running for coffee?

Delivering envelopes?

Or dusting off law books?

He said you had a fine
analytical legal mind

and a fantastic
knack for research.

Did he say that?

You don't think I could
make that up myself, do you?

Besides, what's wrong
with doing menial tasks?

There's no such thing
as an unimportant

job, just unimportant people.

The individual can bring
dignity to any job.

You sure you're not just
saying all this to make

me feel good?
Don't be silly.

I'm saying it so you'll
do the dishes tonight.

I'm tired.

Wonder if it's going to rain?

I don't think so.

Sun's still shining.

Weatherman said it would rain.

Well, let's hope not.

Sure glad I didn't
go to the band concert.

What's this?

Our teacher's taking our class
to a band concert after school.

You could have gone
if you wanted to.

Oh, no.

I've got a job to do.

OK.

Uh, these go into the files.
OK.

I'll have Joel do it.

Uh, maybe you better
save those for Rick

so he'll have something
to do when he comes in.

I'm going to tell
him you said that.

As long as I'm here, would
you mind taking a letter?

OK.

This goes to Charles A.
Hubble, Hubble Construction

Company.
Yeah, I have the address.

Dear Mr. Hubble, in reference
to your letter of the 16th,

I most certainly agree that
the contract should be revised.

Excuse me, Dave.

Dobson, Kelly, and Nelson.

OK, I'll tell him.

Bye.

- Was that for me?
- No, for Joel.

It was his mother.

We're to be sure and
tell him to button up

his coat not to walk
in any puddles in case

it starts to rain.

Let's see.

Where were we?

Uh, referring to your
letter of the 16th,

I most certainly agree that the
contract should be revised--

Contract should be revised
in anticipation of the merger.

In anticipation of the merger.

Can I help you boys?

We're looking for somebody.

He's a lawyer,
and he works here.

Well, I'm a lawyer,
and I work here.

At least, I've been trying to.

You're not the one.

We're looking for Joel.
Oh.

Well, he's in the other office.

I'll get him for you.

We're friends of his.

He's the first lawyer I've
ever known in my whole life.

Oh, that's nice.

Here they are, Joel.

Hi, you guys.

Oh, hi, Joel.

Did you look at that
stuff about partnerships?

Well, that's a
little out of my line.

Mr. Nelson handles
all that stuff,

but he's probably
busy right now.

Oh, that's OK.

What is it, fellas?

We have a
partnership, him and me.

He and I.

Oh, you have one, too?

Oh, that's right.
What do you want to know?

Well, I'll explain it to you.

See, these two guys
are friends of mine,

and they made a partnership
and bought a skateboard.

He keeps it in his
garage and it got broken.

He says that he's
responsible for it.

What do you think?

I didn't break it, honest.

I went out to the garage to
get it and it was broken.

Well, in cases like
this, the burden of proof

is often shifted.

The fact that the skateboard
was in your garage

when it was broken calls
for an explanation.

It's a case of
res ipsa loquitur.

It's not a locomotive.

It's a skateboard.

Well, he knows that.

Well, I thought you said
raise up the locomotive.

No.

Res ipsa loquitur.

It means the thing
speaks for itself.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't we blame
it on your sister,

and then your dad will fix it?
Hey, yeah.

That's a neat idea, boy.

Just a second, fellas.

Do you think that'd be fair?

Well, sure.

She's always busting
things anyways.

She really is.

I bet you she did bust it.

Well, OK.

Thanks a lot for legal advice.

It's my pleasure.

Now, if you guys don't mind,
we're pretty busy around here

so I'll see you tomorrow.
OK.

So long.

OK, bye.

Bye.

Uh, Joel?

I think from now on it'd be
a good idea if we didn't have

your friends dropping in on us.

Yes, sir.

I didn't tell him
to come over here.

OK.

Let's see.

Now, where was I?

In anticipation of the merger.

You'll have to give me
a little more than that.

As a matter of fact,
would you mind telling me

who I'm writing to?

Mr. Hubble.

Ah, that's right.

Referring to your
letter of the 16th,

I most certainly agree that
the contract should be revised

in anticipation of the merger.

Referring to your
letter of the 16th,

I most certainly agree that
the contract should be revised

in anticipation of the merger.

Maybe we'd better
start all over again

and get a whole new
approach to this thing.

David Nelson.

Yes, ma'am?

You don't remember me?

Oh, yes, I think I do.

I'll give you a little hint.

I used to call you Chalky
because you were the best

eraser clapper I ever had.

Mrs. Hastings.

Oh, my fourth grade teacher.

I knew
you'd remember.

This is Miss
Edwards, my secretary.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

Where's Joel?

Oh, he's on me the
other office here.

Do you know him?
Oh, yes.

He's in my class.

He's told us all about
you and his job here.

Well, gee.

He's doing very well.

Anyway, I got
to thinking about

after Joel said that
he was working here,

and I was wondering if you
could do me just a little favor.

Well, I'll try.

I was going to take
the class to the band

concert in the park, but it
looked a little like rain.

And they didn't want to
get their instruments wet,

so they called it off.

Oh, I can understand that.

I was wondering, would it
be possible for the class

to make a little
tour of your office?

I'm sure it would
be most interesting

and educational for them.

Oh, I imagine it
could be arranged.

Oh, wonderful.

I know they'd enjoy it.

Uh, when did you have in mind?

They're right out in the
hall, if it's all right.

Oh.

Thank you.

All right,
children, come on in.

Act like little
ladies and gentlemen.

Don't push.

All right, there you go.

Now, children, this
is Ms. Everett.

She's a real legal secretary.

Oh, hi, Joel.

Oh, hi.

Is this your office?

Not exactly, but
this is my desk.

It's beautiful.

Look at all the stamps.

What's this?

His fan club?

Yeah, something like that.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

You know something?

I can remember when
that used to be a law.

I'm glad you said that.

Brings me right to the
point of our discussion.

Somehow I don't like the tone
of what you're leading up to.

Well, to put it bluntly,
we're in a state of chaos.

Well, that's quite obvious.

This has been brought
about by the fact

that we have two law
clerks working here,

which is one too many.

You mean you're
giving me the sack?

You want me to turn
in my briefcase?

Don't laugh.

That's one of the possibility.

Well, who's laughing?

And what's the other one?

Well, since you and Joel are
the law clerks in question,

and since one of you
must go, the alternative

is that you fire Joel, in a
very diplomatic way, of course.

I believe this is what's
known as Hobson's choice.

Let me ask you this.

How come I have the
dirty job of firing

when I didn't have anything
to do with hiring him?

Well, now that you mention it.

It wasn't exactly
my idea either.

Well, then why don't we
turn this delicate task over

to the man who was
responsible for getting us

into this in the first place?

Meaning, of
course, dear old dad.

- How is it?
- Great.

Oh, good.

Well, now I have another
little surprise for you.

Dave tells me he's
been figuring up

your working hours
at the office,

and you've earned exactly $10.

You're kidding?
This is all mine?

That's right.

Now, you can buy that
present for your dad,

and you won't have
to work anymore.

There isn't anything
wrong with my work is there?

Oh, no.
Not at all.

Oh, no.
You've been doing a fine job.

In fact, they said
the office wouldn't

be the same without you.

Well, then it wouldn't be
fair for me to just quit.

Well, actually, it's not fair
for us to keep you working.

I mean, you could be out playing
with the rest of the guys.

And you've earned the
$10 for your dad's present.

Yeah, but I've been thinking.

My Mom's birthday is
coming up pretty soon too.

His mother's
birthday's coming up.

Oh, well, the bonus
ought to take care of that?

Bonus?

Well, yeah, the bonus.

The law office always gives
its employees a little bonus

when they leave.

Oh.

Here you are.

Gee, thanks.

Now, I can start saving up for
my Mom and Dad's anniversary,

and my sister's wedding.

My cat has a birthday
coming up pretty soon.

And there's always Christmas.

Oh, Kathy, one more
banana split, please.

Coming right up.

Boy, it sure is
quiet around here.

Yeah.

Well, at least things
are back to normal.

Of course, there
are moments when

I kind of miss the little guy.

Now that you mention it,
I kind of miss him, too.

I hope you and your dad
were too rough on him.

Are you kidding?

He could hardly walk
out of the malt shop.

His pockets were
stuffed full of money,

and his stomach was stuffed
full of banana splits.

He's a good
little guy, though.

He's got a lot on the ball.

- Good afternoon, folks.
- Oh, hi, Joel.

I think you know my
friends Andy and Randy.

Sure.
Hi, fellas.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I know you're a busy
man, so I won't take up

too much of your time.

Oh, that's OK.

I see you're in the
shoeshine business now.

Yes, sir.

And we sell newspapers, hot
chocolate, and lemonade.

And we're thinking of starting
a travel bureau and a ticket

agency.

Well, it sounds like
you're going to cover

quite a bit of territory.

- Sure does.
- Thank you.

I thought it might
be a good idea

if we formed a corporation.

Yeah, it might at that.

I don't mind telling you, I
like the way you do business

around here.

In fact, we'd like to give
you all our legal work.

Gentlemen, just
step into my office.

Try to remember
the kind of September

when life was slow
and oh so mellow.

Try to remember the kind of
September when grass was green

and grain was yellow.

Try to remember when
life was so tender,

that love was an
ember about two below.

Try to remember,
and if you remember,

then follow, follow, follow.

Try to remember when
life was so tender

that no one wept
except the willow.

Try to remember when life was
so tender That dreams were

kept beside your pillow.

Deep in December it's nice to
remember the fire of September

that made us mellow.

Deep in December it's nice to
remember and follow, follow.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by new
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helps keep you dry and
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