Original subtitles

This is an ABC Color Presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

Also starring in tonight's episode, here's June.

Oh, that's beautiful.

You really like it?

Yes.

You seem to be hesitating a little.

Oh, well, I was just wondering,

don't you think it's a little summery

for this time of the year?

Well, yes, but--

well, it's a secret.

What's that?

Dave and I are going to Hawaii.

How wonderful.

You're the first one to know.

Oh, well, I'm so happy for you.

I'll bet Dave is excited about it, too.

Well, no, he really isn't.

He isn't?

I haven't told him yet.

You're kidding.

I told you, you were the first one to know.

Oh, in other words, you're trying it out on me.

Well, I figure you're his mother,

and if you like the idea, maybe he'll like it, too.

Well, just tell him and find out.

No, because he'll hate it.

Oh, I'm sure he won't.

Well, he'll like the idea, all right.

Then he'll have 150 logical reasons why we can't go.

Like what, for instance?

Well, like, for instance, he can't afford to take time off

from the office.

Well, that's probably right.

I suppose so.

Hey, it sure would be nice, though.

Personally, I think he's entitled to a vacation.

He's been working too hard.

Well, maybe you can talk him into it.

And maybe you can find some way to make

him think it's his idea.

Yeah, maybe I could at that.

Hey, what's so funny?

Well, I don't know.

It just seems so ridiculous to have to trap your husband

into going to a place like Hawaii.

I know what you mean.

I should think he'd be delighted to go.

Well, men are men, and you can't change them.

Hey, maybe one of those travel folders would help.

You know, the ones with the pictures

of the hula girls on it? Hey, yeah.

Hooka looka hooka pucca hooka looka pooh.

Hooka looka hooka pucca looka pooh.

No matter what you try to do to trick-a me,

I ain't-a gonna go to Hawaii.

I ain't-a gonna go to Hawaii.

What do you know?

An eavesdropping ukulele player.

Come on, don't change the subject.

You heard me.

I ain't about to go to Hawaii, and that's final.

OK, if you say so.

If you don't want to go, that's that.

Well, I say, it seems to me you're

giving in awfully easily.

Well, you know me.

I aim to please.

Besides, Dave and I are the ones who are going.

Oh.

So it's Dave who's going to get his arm twisted.

Now, no fair telling him, Dad.

We're doing this for his own good.

Besides, we'll have a wonderful time once we get him there.

Well, maybe you'd like me to supply a little background

music while you're trying to hook him.

Hooka looka hooka pucca hooka looka pooh,

hooka looka hooka pucca hooka looka pooh, hooka looka pooh,

hooka looka pooh, hooka looka hooka looka pooh.

Now hold everything.

You know she's trying to get him there, not frighten him away.

I was just getting to the best part.

Hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo.

Hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo.

Hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Mind if I join you for lunch?

No, please do.

I imagine you're looking for somebody to pick up your check?

Well, I wasn't thinking about it,

but now that you mention it.

Well, I figured you'd be looking for a few shortcuts

to save money for your vacation.

What vacation?

Oh, come on.

You can't kid me.

I heard them cooking up all the plans last night.

Hooka nooka ricka dicka ricka bookah doo, ricka

ticka ticka ticka ricka pookah doo, dooka puku kutu.

A friend of yours?

Never saw him before in my life.

What will you have, Dave?

I'll have a cheeseburger and a chocolate malt.

OK.

If he gets violent, let me know.

What were you talking about, Pop?

You mean you really don't know?

No.

Oh.

Well, maybe I better not say anything.

Well, it's not fair.

You sit out here and put on your vaudeville act,

and then don't tell me what it's all about.

Well, I thought June would have sprung the trap by now.

Depends on which trap you mean.

Uh, you're going to Hawaii.

Not again.

Every time we have pineapple juice for breakfast,

she decides we ought to go to Hawaii.

Well, she sounds pretty serious this time.

I think she's been to the travel agency and everything.

The worst part is, I'd really like to go.

I just can't take that much time away from work.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I've got a course schedule and clients depending on me.

Well, yeah, but you can't use that

as an argument with your wife. It's too logical.

Well, I guess I'll just have to tell her no

and let it go at that.

No, I tried that once and wound up in Acapulco.

I got to tell her something.

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't you give her that old, "even though I can't go,

there's no reason why you should stay home and suffer."

You know, give her that pitch.

You mean, tell her to go by herself?

Well, yes, she'll never do it.

I don't know.

June could be pretty independent.

Well, yeah, but not in this case.

You just suggest that she go without you.

I guarantee she'll say, go to Hawaii without you?

Go to Hawaii without you?

Well, sure.

Why not?

Well, OK.

If you say so.

Hello?

Mom?

Oh, hi.

What happened?

Exactly what you said.

Evidently, Dad told David, just like you said he would.

And David suggested that I go alone,

just like you said he would.

Mom, you're just too smart.

- Did you tell him you would? - Well, sure.

You were right so far, so I figured your advice must

be pretty good.

How'd he take it?

Well, let's see.

His mouth dropped open, and he turned very pale.

You're practically on the beach at Waikiki right now.

Yeah, but I don't want to go without David.

Oh, don't worry.

He'll never let you go without him.

Well, he better not.

- Better not what? - Oh.

Hi, dear.

I was just talking to Mom.

Oh, would you tell her I'd like to speak to Pop?

If he's there. Oh, sure.

Mom, David would like to talk to Dad.

She's calling him.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, if you don't mind, this is a slightly personal little family

matter.

Oh, OK.

Oh, would you like some papaya juice?

I think we have some.

Oh, uh, no, thanks.

Hello, Pop? Oh, hi, Dave.

What's up?

Oh, I thought you might like to know

I don't have to go to Hawaii.

Oh, great.

Well, that's all according to how you look at it.

June loved your idea about going by herself.

Well, you're kidding.

Unfortunately, I'm not.

Oh, well, look, don't worry about it.

But believe me, it's just a bluff.

You really think so?

Oh, sure.

Now, listen, don't give in.

You're a good poker player.

You've just got to outbluff her.

Pop, I probably shouldn't mention this,

but do you remember the last time we all played poker?

Well, yeah, I think so. Why?

Well, don't you remember?

June won the biggest pot of the evening.

Well, what about it?

With a pair of 10s.

Well, she was just lucky.

Now you stick to your guns.

Believe me.

I know what I'm talking about.

Uh, Pop?

Yeah?

I hope so.

Well, so-- ah--

Are you finished?

Oh, yeah, thanks, honey.

It's very good.

Thank you.

Here's the trip I had planned for us.

That is when I thought we were both going.

Of course I guess they can make the same arrangements for just

me.

Oh, I'm sure they can.

Isn't that a lovely hotel?

It's right on Waikiki Beach.

Yeah, it's very nice.

That's Diamond Head in the background.

Oh, yeah.

See, you'll have to take some pictures of it for me.

Are you going to miss me?

Sure I will.

You probably won't.

You'll probably be too busy at the office.

Yeah, I suppose I will at that.

I imagine I'll be working late, grabbing a bite to eat

at a cafeteria or someplace.

I can get some things for you and put them in the freezer

before I go if you like.

What?

I'll be fine.

I don't want you to worry about me.

I just want you to go and have a good time.

Well, I'll phone you every night.

Oh, gee, I wouldn't do that.

That's liable to be terribly expensive.

Besides, I'm not even sure where I'll be.

I mean, I might be here or at the office

or over at Mom and Dad's or over at Rick's, or who knows where.

Well, where's "who knows where"?

Oh, I don't know.

I mean, well, why don't you just send me

a postcard when you get a chance?

Dave, breakfast is ready.

Morning, dear.

Hi.

Well, how do you like it?

What? The coffee?

It tastes fine.

OK, Mr. Cool, I'm talking about my outfit.

I bought it for the trip.

How do you like it?

Oh it looks very nice.

I got a new bathing suit, too. Would you like to see it?

Well, I'll look at it later.

I have to get down to the office.

Oh, it just takes a second to put on.

Hey, wait a second.

Where do you think you're going to wear that?

Well, on the beach, of course.

Well, isn't it a little--

I mean, wouldn't it attract a lot of--

uh, never mind.

I'll talk to you about it when I get home.

Whatever you say, dear.

Aloha.

Dave?

Dave? Yeah?

Did you check the notes on the contracts yet?

Uh, no, not yet.

You haven't even started.

Relax, will ya?

I'll give them to you as soon as I finish.

You're the one who ought to relax.

Look, why don't you break down and go to Hawaii with--

Oh, I can't do that. What about the office?

Are you kidding?

We'll just move a bunch of telephones in here

and turn it into a bookie joint.

Anyway, I think June is starting to weaken.

Well, somebody's starting to weaken, that's for sure.

Yeah?

June's here, Dave.

Oh, OK, thanks.

June's here. Oh, good.

You mind if I stick around?

I haven't seen a good fight in years.

Oh, come on, will you?

Somebody's got to do some work around here.

Hi, June.

- Hi, Rick. - Hi, honey.

Hi.

I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

No, that's OK.

I just wanted to let you know I stopped by the travel agency.

They were really very nice.

Oh, good.

Sit down.

They lined up a beautiful trip for me.

It sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun.

Oh, that's nice.

I hope you have a wonderful time.

Well, I won't because I'm not going.

What do you mean, you're not going?

Oh, you know darn well I wouldn't go to Hawaii

without you. You wouldn't?

Really?

Well, of course not.

I must admit, though, I almost signed us both up.

You did?

Yeah, I was going to drag you onto the plane.

Then I got to look at how much it costs,

and I changed my mind.

Pretty expensive, huh?

Well, it's about $300 more than I figured--

for the both of us, I mean.

Well, look, honey, if you really

want to go ahead by yourself.

You mean you'd actually let me go alone?

No, I was just bluffing.

I'm glad you finally gave in because if you hadn't, I'd

have gone along with you, and we can't afford it.

Yeah, I know.

If only it costs a couple hundred dollars less.

I guess there's not much chance of that.

- Oh, yes, there is. - There is?

There's a wonderful economy tour that'll be next Friday,

and it's going to all the places we want to go.

And listen to this.

It's about $300 cheaper because we're going in a group.

An economy tour?

Oh, I told them to hold two reservations for us.

I better call and confirm you. Oh, but honey--

June-- Oh, thank you, darling.

You're the most wonderful husband in the whole world.

I could've sworn he had it won.

I can't understand it.

I thought I was winning all the way, and all of a sudden,

I wind up on the floor.

I must say, she gave a beautiful performance.

There's no doubt about that.

Besides, I can't feel too sorry for you.

After all, you are going to Hawaii.

Yeah, I know. It's not the trip.

It's the timing.

I really shouldn't be away from the office for that long,

at least not right now.

Well, why don't you tell her you'll take her,

but you'll have to postpone it for a couple of months?

That won't work.

That's what I told her last year and the year

before that and the year before that.

And the funny part is, I meant it every time.

Well, if you want to get some advice

on how to get out of anything, here comes

the world's champion. Hiya, fellas.

Boy, am I glad I ran into you.

I was afraid I'd be all sold out before I found you,

then you'd be mad at me.

Whatever it is, I don't want any.

- Hey, I second the motion. - Now wait a minute.

I'm going to make-believe I didn't hear that.

I'll give you one more chance.

Are you or are you not interested

in the cultural activities of this community?

Not especially.

Me either.

Well, it so happens that a group of the loveliest and most

talented young ladies you'll have ever seen

are appearing for a limited engagement at the Rivoli

Theater starting this Friday evening.

And I happen to be in possession of a small block of tickets.

And maybe you can wangle a couple of them

for us if we play our cards right.

Right.

We don't want any.

In the first place, what's a ballet troupe

doing at the Rivoli Theater?

Well, it's not a ballet.

Well, I thought you said it was cultural.

Well, it is, in a broader sense.

But it's not a ballet.

Well, not exactly.

It's more like a review.

You mean a musical comedy?

Well, yes, there's music in it and a line of beautiful girls

and a couple of the funniest comedians

you ever saw in your life.

And there's this guy who comes down

the aisle selling chocolates.

Who told you?

Look, if we want to go to a burlesque show,

we don't need to get the tickets from you.

Well, it's not a burlesque show.

These are exotic dancers.

You can even take the wives.

Oh, thanks a lot, but I've got enough trouble as it is.

Well, OK, then don't take the wives.

Somehow, I get a feeling he's not going to be too much help.

That's for sure.

Come on, let's order.

I promised June I'd go down and talk to the travel agent.

Travel agent?

Are you going on a trip someplace?

Well, I'm not sure yet.

I hope not. Well, listen.

I've got a terrific connection with one of the best travel

agents in town.

Hey, have you got your tickets yet?

- Uh, Jack. - Yeah?

We'll take a couple of chocolate malts

and give Wally whatever he wants and charge it to me.

- Oh, well, thanks, Dave. - Are you sure?

Uh, yeah.

Somehow I have a feeling I'll be saving money that way.

All right.

Goodbye.

Yes, may I help you?

My name is David Nelson.

I believe my wife was in a little while ago.

Oh, yes.

Aloha, Mr. Nelson.

Aloha.

This is my brother.

How do you do?

I'm Mrs. Davis.

Are you going to Hawaii, too? Oh, no.

Not this time.

Aw, too bad.

Actually, I was wondering just how far my wife had

gotten with our plans.

Oh, we have everything worked out just beautifully.

Here are your tickets and your courtesy flight bag

and your itinerary with all the hotels listed

and a chit for two pineapple surprises at the Noynoy

Cocktail Bar.

Thank you.

God, I didn't realize we were that well set.

Oh, we didn't want to waste any time.

This is a lovely tour you're going on, a real fun group.

Oh, well, that's kind of what I was wondering.

I've never been on a tour before.

Well, you're in for a wonderful surprise.

Oh.

Well, I've heard that sometimes it

can be a little inconvenient.

I mean, one person wants to go one place,

and somebody else wants to go someplace else.

And you're trying to get everybody together,

and you're waiting for people who are late.

Well, these are little things that

can be worked out very easily.

Oh, I suppose so.

I was just kind of wondering about the people we

were going with.

Oh, I'm sure you'll find them very interesting.

In fact, we're trying to arrange a little get acquainted party

so you can all meet each other.

We do that whenever it's possible.

Oh, well, fine.

Gee, I'll be honest with you, Dave.

I don't know why you're putting up all this resistance.

In fact, it's a wonder to me that June's

letting you go at all.

What you mean?

Hey, has Dave seen this brochure?

Oh, yeah.

Don't forget I planned this campaign very carefully.

Yeah, I see what you mean.

But maybe I'm overdoing it a little.

Maybe I shouldn't have bought this.

Well, why not? I think it's lovely.

I don't know.

It seems so extravagant.

Maybe not, though.

After all, I can always use it.

It's not just for this trip, you know.

Oh, you don't have to convince me.

I guess I'm feeling a little guilty.

Well, you shouldn't.

Maybe not, but I've pushed David into this whole thing.

Well, even if you did, it'll do him good.

He'll have a wonderful time.

How can he have a wonderful time

if he's hating me every minute?

You don't think you're exaggerating just a little?

Well, maybe so.

I don't know.

He doesn't seem to be too happy about it, though.

He's been resisting me every inch of the way.

Aloha.

Oh, David, is that you?

Yaka-hola-hidi-dula.

Thank you.

Mother.

Well, thank you.

This is a pleasant surprise.

Somehow, I had the feeling you weren't too happy about going.

Well, I went down to the travel bureau,

and I had a little talk with a woman down there,

and I realized I had the wrong approach to this whole thing.

Oh, that's wonderful, but what's all this stuff for?

It's for the get acquainted party.

What's that?

Well, Ms. Davis-- she's the lady down at the Travel

Bureau-- said they usually have a little party so that all

the people on the tour can meet each other and kind of get

acquainted.

And you mean we're having it here?

Uh, yeah, tonight.

Nothing elaborate, just a few drinks

and sandwiches and coffee.

I hope it's OK.

Oh, well, yeah, I guess so.

It's just that there's so much to do and in such short notice.

Well, that's OK. Everything's taken care of.

I called all the people and arranged for all refreshments.

You're right.

He certainly seems unhappy about it.

How does this look?

Oh it looks great.

How about me?

How do I look?

Relax, will you?

You look beautiful.

Gee, I hope everybody likes this.

Oh, I'm sure they will.

Besides, that's the best part of this whole thing.

If they don't like us or we don't happen to like them,

we still have time to back out.

Let's not even think about that.

Ms. Davis said they were all very nice people.

"A real fun group" I believe was the expression she used.

Here comes somebody.

Are you sure I look all right?

Relax, will you?

You look beautiful.

Hi.

Is this the Nelson residence? Yes, it is.

I'm David Nelson.

Hi, I'm Connie, and this is my girlfriend, Jackie.

- Hi. - Hello.

Nice to have meet you.

Can I take your coat?

Oh, well, thank you.

- Hi, I'm June Nelson. - Hi.

This is sure a swell place you got here.

Oh, well, thank you.

And a real cute husband, too.

Oh, thank you.

Would you like to sit down?

Oh, I'll get it.

Hi, girls. Come on in.

Hi, is this where the party is?

- It sure is. - My name is Arlene.

And this is Gail, Barbara, Joan, and Doreen.

Hi.

Come and join the party, girls.

It's a very nice party.

Oh, yes.

Aren't there any men going on this trip?

Well, sure, honey.

I am.

Well, I know that.

Oh, gee, the phone.

Would you get that, please?

Hi, girls. Come on in.

- Hi. - Hi.

- This is the place. - I'm Louise.

Louise.

And this is Sally and Nancy, and this is Margie.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello?

Uh, hi, June?

This is Wally. Is Dave there?

Oh, hi, Wally.

Just a minute.

I'll get him.

Dave?

Oh, Dave.

Isn't he cute?

He sure is.

I'd like to take him home with me.

Oh, careful now, girls.

I can hear you.

David?

Aloha.

Wally's on the phone.

Well, tell him to come on over.

Wally Plumstead.

Oh, maybe I better get that.

Excuse me, girls. Don't go away.

I'll be right back.

Aww!

Are you David's sister?

No, I'm his wife.

Well, you sure are lucky. He's cute.

- You could say that again. - OK, I will.

He's cute.

Oh, hi.

Did the girls get there OK?

They sure did, and it's working beautifully.

Do you think the girls will be enough,

or shall I send Goggles over, too?

- Who? - Goggles McGoogle.

He's the top banana in the show.

He does this terrific routine where he takes out

his teeth while he's singing.

Just the girls, that's plenty.

OK, don't forget now.

You promised to buy 20 tickets.

Excuse me.

Can I borrow my husband for a moment?

Oh, well, I'll think about it.

Bring him right back.

Hey, these sandwiches are good.

What is it, honey?

Well, that's what I want to know.

What kind of tour is this anyway?

I don't know.

It's just a regular fun tour.

It's not exactly what I had in mind.

Me either.

Now just think, I didn't want to go on this tour at first.

Maybe you were right.

What do you mean?

Well, maybe we ought to call it off and go some other time.

Oh, well, geez, honey.

We're just all getting to know each other.

I mean, the girls are kind of counting on my going.

Yes, well, I've been counting the girls,

and you're not going.

OK, if you say so.

I'll call Mrs. Davis first thing in the morning

and call the whole trip off.

Well, OK.

Come on, Dave!

Uh, just a second.

Honey, maybe we better not tell the girls.

I mean, there's no sense in spoiling a good party.

- Hey, Dave! - Uh, coming, girls.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mrs. Davis.

Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything

important, but I wondered if you and Mr. Nelson

would like to stop by for cocktails tomorrow

evening at my apartment.

This is Mrs. Davis?

From the travel agency?

Yes, that's right.

I thought I'd give a little get acquainted party.

Nothing elaborate, but I would like

you to meet the folks you're going to be traveling with.

They're such nice people.

Oh, yes, I'm sure they are.

Um, Mrs. Davis--

Somebody's at the door!

I'll get it!

Hi, Mrs. Davis. Oh, hi.

Come on in.

I'm sorry about the short notice.

Oh, don't worry.

Come on in.

I want you to all sit down.

Come on.

We want you all to get acquainted.

Hi.

Uh, hello, Mrs. Davis.

Oh, hello, Mr. Nelson.

I was just, uh--

I was going-- well, I was--

He was just trying to get in the spirit

of the tour, weren't you, dear?

Uh, yes, Mrs. Davis.

Pardon me.

Are these girls going to be on the tour?

Uh, no, sir.

I'm afraid not.

Oh, too bad.

Oh, I'm sure you'll have a good time, Mr. Pringle.

Uh, I hope we have a nice, calm trip.

Oh, I'm sure the storm will be over by the time we leave.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by ABC.

Where you'll see the most talked about man in television,

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See him in color every Wednesday and Thursday nights.