Original subtitles

This is an ABC color presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

Oh, just sit down in the booths over there, fellas.

I'll be right with you.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson. - Oh, hi, Jack.

You look a little droopy there.

Where'd you get the wild brood?

Oh, they're the kids from the Tigers Club.

I just had them out to the ball game.

Oh, you're quite a hero.

Well, you know, there's one patsy in every neighborhood.

Oh, come on, you know you enjoy it.

Yeah, I guess I do at that.

They're all good kids.

Are you going to order for the crowd?

Well, yeah, I guess I'd better.

It'll save a little confusion.

All right, what'll it be?

Well, now, that presents a kind of a problem.

What do you think would go well on top

of 14 hot dogs, 12 bags of peanuts,

and half a dozen pepperoni pizzas?

How about a nice marble headstone with all their names

on it?

That might not be a bad idea.

Let's see, I think I'll have one, two, three, four--

that's 10 chocolate malts.

I think I'll have one, and have one yourself.

OK.

By the way, how was the game?

Who saw the game?

I spent the afternoon at the refreshment stand.

Oh.

Mr. Nelson?

Oh, yeah, I'll be right with you, fellas.

We decided to treat you to an ice cream cone.

Oh, well, gee, thanks a lot, boys.

But that really isn't necessary.

Yes, it is.

My mother said so.

My mother said so, too.

Well, OK.

What flavor do you want?

Oh, I think I'll have chocolate.

10 chocolate cones, please.

10?

Sure, we're all treating you.

Oh, gee, I don't think I can eat 10 cones.

Well, you're going to eat mine, aren't you?

- And mine, too. - And mine, too?

10 chocolate cones.

Coming right up.

You're not eating your dinner.

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not very hungry.

Well, no wonder.

Who ever heard of eating 10 ice cream cones before dinner?

Please don't mention it.

What else could I do? I had no choice.

I had to eat them all.

I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

You finished with this?

I guess so.

What are we having for dessert?

What?

Nothing, just force of habit.

Why don't you go in the den and lie down?

I don't think I can make it all the way into the den.

I think I'll just waddle into the living room

and lie down on the couch.

Just a minute.

Well, hi, fellas. Hi, Mrs. Nelson.

Come on in.

We don't want Mr. Nelson to hear us.

Oh, that's all right.

He's in the other room. That's good.

Now, what's on your mind?

We had a meeting and decided to give him

Mr. Nelson a present.

Oh, well, that's very nice, but I

understand you've already given him several ice cream cones.

Yeah, but we want to give him something he can keep forever.

Show it to her.

Isn't he a beauty?

Oh. Oh.

You think Mr Nelson will like him?

Well, to be honest with you--

He was our mascot.

We couldn't find a tiger.

He sure is a beauty, boys.

But I don't think Mr. Nelson could

accept such a valuable gift.

Are you sure?

Positive.

We voted to give him something.

It was "umaminous."

Yeah, we've already collected $2.

Oh, well, why don't you give him a nice handkerchief.

Does he have a cold?

No, but a handkerchief always makes a nice gift.

I'd rather have the snake.

Hey, I know where we can get a trained rat.

Hey, wait a second, fellas.

I think I've got a good idea.

I'll bet I could find some way to get Mr. Nelson to go down

to the campus men's shop about noon tomorrow.

And then you guys just accidentally happen

to be down there.

And I'll bet you could get a hint as to what he wants.

Gee, that's a swell idea.

It sure is.

It sure is, boy.

Well, thank you. Now it's getting pretty late.

I think you guys better get on home,

but not until you've each had a cookie.

And I insist.

Gee, you've sure got a lot of swell ideas.

She sure has.

She sure has.

I sure have, boy.

But they've already give me a present, 10 of them, in fact.

Well, they just want to do something

a little special for you to show how much they appreciate

all the things you've done for them.

OK.

And remember, it's a secret.

You're not supposed to know anything about it.

Well, if it's a secret, how come you're telling me?

Well, because I promised I'd get you to walk by the men's

shop at 12:00 noon tomorrow.

The men's shop? Well, what for?

Well, they're going to pretend to run into you

there, accidentally, of course, and get

you to look in the men's shop window and point out something

you might like.

And you're not supposed to know what you're doing.

Well, that won't be too difficult.

Maybe I can steer them onto a pair of socks.

Oh, that'd be fine.

Oh, and by the way, you're supposed

to be carrying two loaves of bread, a dozen eggs,

and a couple of quarts of milk.

What for?

Well, I figured as long as you're

going to be down there anyway, you

might as well go to the market.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, hi there, boys.

Hey, this is a surprise.

No, it isn't.

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

What are you guys doing down here?

We're just walking along, whistling.

Not me.

I can't whistle, see?

OK.

OK.

Hey, here we are right in front of the men's store

window.

Yeah, and they've got some beautiful things in here, too.

Yeah, sure.

If you could have anything you wanted in this window,

what would you like the most?

Boy, now that's a tough decision to make.

Make believe, of course.

Yeah, of course.

Well, I know that sport coat is pretty nice.

How much does it cost?

Oh I'd say about $65 or $70.

Is that more than we've got?

That's more than anybody's got.

Oh, of course, there are a lot of other nice things

in the window. What, for instance?

Well, for instance, that hat.

And oh, hey, look at those socks.

Do you like them?

Oh, yes, say, they're beautiful.

Yeah, and I bet you they don't cost too much either.

A guy sure would be lucky to get a pair of socks

like that for a gift.

We'll see you later, Mr. Nelson.

Yeah, we'll see you later.

OK.

- Hi. - Hi.

Did the tiger show up?

Yeah, right on time.

Unless I'm mistaken, I'm going to be

the recipient of a nice pair of charcoal gray socks.

They were on sale.

Oh, those boys had good taste.

Yeah, well, fortunately, though, they

were the only pair in the window.

You better get your thank you speech ready.

I think they're here.

How do I look?

Hi, fellas.

Come on in.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Hi.

We've got a little surprise for you.

Hi.

Oh, a surprise for me?

Well, now, wait a second.

It's not my birthday or anything like that, is it?

Oh my goodness, I hope not.

Don't tell me I've forgotten your birthday.

Don't worry, Mrs. Nelson.

It's nothing like that.

It's just a little thank you present.

From the Tigers Club.

Oh, gee.

Well, thank you, fellas. Wait a minute.

There's more.

Go ahead.

Thank you, Mr. Nelson.

Thank you for fixing our clubhouse.

Thank you for buying us ice cream.

Thank you for the shortcut through your backyard.

Thank you for taking us to football and baseball games.

And thank you for putting a little happiness

into our pitiful lives.

Oh, well, what was that last part?

I read that out of a book.

Oh.

Well, say, that's a very nice sentiment.

Here you are, Mr. Nelson.

Well, thanks a lot, fellas.

I certainly appreciate this.

Open it, dear.

OK.

It's a pretty big box.

It's not too heavy.

I don't think there's an automobile in there.

Let's see now.

I'll bet it's a nice pair of charcoal gray--

oh-- well, it's a hat.

Surprise!

Surprise.

It's beautiful.

Oh.

Just like the one you picked out.

You picked out a hat?

Well, there was a hat in the window right next--

gee, this must have been pretty expensive, boys.

Sure was.

That's OK, Mr. Nelson.

You're worth it.

- Put it on. - Oh.

I think it looks cute on you.

Oh, well, uh, gee, thanks, fellas.

I really don't deserve this.

Sure you do. Go ahead.

Make the speech again.

Thank you, Mr. Nelson.

No, that's OK.

I get the general idea.

And believe me, boys, I really appreciate it.

That's OK. Come on, guys.

See you, Mr. Nelson. Bye.

Bye, boys.

Bye.

It's quite a surprise.

How did you happen to pick that out?

You never wear a hat.

Well, I didn't pick it out.

It was in the window, and I just happened to mention it.

That's probably why they bought it for you.

Well, I mentioned a cashmere sportcoat, too.

Don't tell me you tried to talk those kids into buying

you a cashmere sportcoat.

Are you kidding?

Got enough trouble with the hat.

Well, what do you think?

I'm just not the type.

I can't yodel, and I don't especially like Swiss cheese.

I think it looks good.

It gives me a whole new insight into your personality.

I think it's the feather.

How come you don't wear a hat?

Well, I don't wear a hat because I don't wear a hat.

I don't know.

Too bad they bought it for you.

Yeah.

Looks like it's pretty expensive, too.

Probably wiped out the treasury.

Oh, well, I'll make it up to him.

Well, in the meantime, what are you going to do with it?

I think I'll put it upstairs in the closet

with those ties your mother gives me every Christmas.

Hold it, Mr. Nelson.

Oh.

What was that?

I just want to take a picture of your hat.

Hey, where is your hat?

Oh, my hat, well, I don't have it with me right now.

Gee, I wasted a whole picture.

Oh, Sean, I'm sorry.

How come you're not wearing it?

Don't you like it?

Oh, yeah, it's--

well, I'll-- I'll go back in the house and get it.

I'll be right back.

Goodbye, dear.

I thought you left five minutes ago.

I did, but I went back to get my hat.

Bye, honey.

Yes, sir?

Oh, hi, Mr. Nelson.

You probably didn't recognize me with the hat.

Well, I think it looks great.

Oh, you don't have to say anything nice about it.

I didn't buy it. It was a gift.

Now, wait a second. Don't tell me.

- Hi, Rick. - Hi, Pop.

I've never seen you with a hat before.

Well, that's probably because I've never owned a hat before.

Hey, Dave, come on out.

Dapper Dad's here.

I like it.

Well, you're not supposed to like it.

- Hi, Pop. - Hi, Dave.

Are you going out to the track?

No, nothing like that, it's a gift from the Tigers.

You mean you bought it at the zoo?

Oh, come on, you guys.

I think it was darn nice of them to give it to me.

Oh, sure, we're just not used to seeing you with a hat on.

Yeah, what are you wearing it for?

Well, I left the house without it this morning,

and one of the little guys was waiting out in the backyard

to take my picture.

So I had to go back in the house and get it.

I figured maybe I could leave it down

here so I wouldn't have to carry it around with me all day.

Why don't we lock it in the closet so it won't fly away.

All right.

That's a good idea.

Now, file it under H with the ham sandwiches.

Hi, David.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Hopkins.

Come on in.

Have you met my father? No.

How do you do? How do you do?

Nice to know you.

I've heard some awfully nice things about you

from my son Billy.

Oh, yeah, he's one of the Tigers.

He's a real nice little fellow.

Oh, well, thank you.

I heard all about the gift they gave you.

It was a hat, wasn't it?

Oh, yes, it was.

Oh, I'd love to see it.

Do you have it with you?

Well, yes, I have it right here.

Oh.

Oh, yes, that's very smart.

I especially like the feather.

Gives it a little extra something.

Oh, yes it does, doesn't it?

- Am I early for my appointment? - No, you're right on time.

Won't you come in the office? Goodbye.

Nice to have met you.

Nice to have met you,

Uh, Pop, I just got a hunch.

Put a couple of bucks on Swiss Yodeler in the third.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson. - Oh, hi, Joe.

Sit down.

Thanks.

You got your hat?

Oh, yeah, it's right here.

Why aren't you wearing it?

Well, you don't wear a hat when you're indoors,

especially when you're eating.

It's not polite.

See, actually, there are a lot of times

when you don't wear a hat.

You don't wear a hat if it's a real warm day.

Or if it's a windy day, the hat might blow off,

or if you're going swimming.

Or when the flag's passing by, you always take your hat off.

Don't you like the hat?

Oh.

Uh, well, yeah, I was wearing it.

As a matter of fact, several people--

would you like a malted milk?

No thanks, Mr. Nelson.

See you later.

OK. Oh!

Gee, I'm sorry.

Did I spill any on the hat?

No.

Boy, that was lucky.

You could have ruined it.

Uh, yeah.

I don't wear a hat when I'm indoors.

I don't wear a hat when I'm eating.

Oh, well, you're not one of the Tigers, are you?

No, sir.

Oh.

Is there something I can do for you?

You're sitting on my quarter.

Oh, sorry.

There you are, son.

- Oh, hi, dear. - Hi.

How'd it go today?

Oh, fine. In fact, great.

Oh really?

Yeah.

OK, what'd you do with the hat?

Oh, the hat.

Say, the darndest thing happened.

I drove in with the car, and I just

started across the backyard.

And this tremendous gust of wind came along,

and it blew the hat right off my head.

Well, where is it?

Oh, who knows?

It's out there someplace.

It's really awfully windy out.

Well, go look for it.

It can't be very far.

Uh, well, OK, I'll get a flashlight.

Flashlight? It's not dark.

Well, I know.

But it will be by the time I get washed up

and have dinner and read the paper

and then go back and look for it.

Oh, hi.

Is this your hat, Mr. Nelson?

Oh, yes, it is.

But well, you know the old saying, Finders Keepers.

Thank you very much. That's OK.

Bye.

Bye.

OK, I will.

You're a nut.

You know that.

OK.

Beautiful, dear, beautiful.

May I ask what you're doing?

Or have you finally flipped?

Joe Randolph, what a nut he is.

He wanted to see the hat.

Why didn't you have him come instead

of standing outside the window?

He's not outside the window.

He's over in his house.

He's watching me with his binoculars.

Oh, does he do that very often?

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Yeah, I'll tell him. It's Joe.

What's he want now?

He wants to know if you'll take another curtain call?

OK, Joe.

Bye-bye.

Yeah, he certainly is.

He has a minister and his wife over for dinner, and he says,

it's the best laugh they've had all evening.

This hat's going to make me the laughing

stock of the neighborhood.

Oh, I hardly think so.

You're certainly a hero to the kids.

A couple of the mothers said the boys are really

thrilled that you like it. Oh, good for them.

Now I suppose I'll have to wear this thing

for the rest of my life.

Not necessarily, just till the kids grow up and move away.

Great.

Lovely.

Well?

I've decided what I'm going to do about the hat.

What?

Well, actually, I don't have much choice.

But I'm going to wear it every place, every minute of the day

and night.

Not to bed you're not.

Hey, beautiful, right out the window.

I didn't mean it. It was an accident.

Well, that doesn't make any difference.

Don't you see? That solves everything.

The Tigers asked me what happened to the hat.

I'll tell them you didn't like it,

and you threw it out the window. You will not.

Now, go down and get it.

Well, I just got rid of it.

Well, you're not going to leave it down there all night.

Well, it's waterproof.

Wait, wait, I want to make a phone call first.

Hello, Joe?

Tell the minister if he wants to see something really hilarious,

just focus his binoculars on our back yard.

Harriet's going to be running around there with her bathrobe

on and curlers in her hair.

You would, too, wouldn't you?

So why not?

Well, OK, if you promise to go down and get it

the first thing in the morning.

OK, I promise, scout's honor.

That's Cub Scouts.

Cub Scout's honor.

You're not looking hard enough.

Well, sure I am.

I don't understand why we can't find it.

Well, neither do I.

Are you sure you didn't sneak down here last night

and find it?

Well, yes and no.

What do you mean, yes and no?

Well, yes, I sneaked down here,

but no, I couldn't find it.

Well, I just don't understand it.

Oh, hi, fellas.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Hello, boys.

Look, fellas, I know you're wondering

why I haven't got the hat on.

Well, there's a very good reason.

I don't have the hat.

Sure, we know all about it.

You do?

Yeah, it's up in the tree.

Well, my goodness.

How'd that happen?

Because Mr. Nelson's such a good guy.

What's this?

Oh, we know.

You put it up there for the birds.

What birds?

The ones who've been building the nest in it.

Building a nest in my hat?

Yeah, I've been watching them all morning.

How about that, giving up his best hat

just so the birds can have a nest in it.

No. No, no.

Oh, yes, yes.

Mr. Nelson always did like animals, birds, and small boys.

Well--

He knew you fellas wouldn't mind.

Of course not.

You're a fine man, Mr. Nelson.

The salt of the Earth.

Three cheers for Mr. Nelson.

No, no, no, fellas.

You're liable to frighten the birds, I mean,

if you do it too loud.

Three cheers for Mr. Nelson.

Hip hip-- Hooray.

- Hip hip- - Hooray.

Hip hip--

Hooray.

Oh, boys.

That's OK, Mr. Nelson.

The only thing that makes me a little sad

is that I'll never be able to wear the hat again.

Hey, that's right.

Maybe we ought to get you another one.

No, no, no. That won't be necessary.

- You deserve it. - Yeah, come on, you guys.

No, no, no, fellas.

Boys?

Fellas?

- Ozzie? - Yeah?

They're here.

Who's here.

The Tigers, and they're carrying a gift.

I'll be right there, boys.

I was hoping they'd forget about that.

- Hi, fellas. - Hi, Mrs. Nelson--

Mrs. Nelson.

Well, hi, boys.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Yeah, well, the box is kind of flat.

I hope it's not a beret.

We've got a present here.

Yeah, so I see.

Sorry it's not for you, Mr. Nelson.

Oh?

Yeah, they were all out of those kind of hats.

Oh, oh, well.

That's OK, fellas.

I really didn't want you to buy me another present.

This is for Mrs. Nelson.

For me?

Yeah.

Oh, now isn't that nice?

Oh, well, yes, but you boys will use up all the money

in your treasury. Go ahead.

Open it. Yeah, go ahead and open it.

There's nothing in it that'll jump out, is there?

Heck, no.

Oh, that's just beautiful.

It's a sweater.

Yes, I know.

I can wear this anywhere.

Oh, that's lovely, boys.

Thank you so much.

Oh, yes.

Now I think this calls for a big dish of ice cream all around.

How about it, fellas?

Yay!

Oh, yes, it's beautiful.

Oh, yes, oh, she can wear that anywhere.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Bird's Eye Awake,

with more vitamin C for the whole family every morning.