Original subtitles

This is an ABC Color Presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

Who won?

Pretty close, the girls came on strong in that last hand.

Do we want to win or lose?

Uh, well, why don't we lose?

It always makes them happier.

It's a good decision, since we lost anyway.

Come on.

The coffee's ready.

OK.

Well, don't keep us in suspense, you guys.

Who won? Who do you think?

Are you kidding? We won.

We always win.

They're afraid if they won, we'd make

them do something really exciting

next time, like take us to a movie.

OK, so you won.

See? What'd I tell you?

Every Friday night's the same thing.

Every Friday night, we play bridge, and every Friday night,

we win.

And now that you mention it, it

is getting a little monotonous.

In fact, everything we do lately is all planned out.

We never do anything spontaneous anymore.

Uh, do you get the feeling that this is all

leading up to something?

Well, it must be some kind of a pitch.

Clara doesn't even know what spontaneous means.

I do too.

I may not know how to spell it, but I know what it means.

Never mind them, Clara.

What were you saying?

Well, I was just saying I thought

it might be fun to do something on the spur of the moment

once in a while, something a little different.

Like what?

Well, like why don't they take us

to the dance at the Women's Club tomorrow night?

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

Yeah, and very spontaneous-- and on the spur

of the moment-ish, too.

Yeah, we've only been hearing about it for the past month.

At least.

Well, how about it?

Wouldn't you like to go dancing?

Oh, of course, there's nothing we'd rather do than go dancing.

Unless it's go fishing.

Say, that's an idea.

You know, they're having the fishing derby up at the lake

this weekend. Oh, really?

Of course, we wouldn't be able to get back

in time for the dance.

Well, now there's really a spontaneous idea.

I especially like the part about not being

able to get back for the dance.

Well, thank you, Oz.

I knew you'd like it.

You're not going fishing unless you promise to get back

in time for the dance.

I second the motion.

After all, we worked longer on our spontaneous idea

than you guys did on yours.

Well, then here's an idea.

Why don't we compromise?

Now, we won't go fishing.

Instead, we'll play golf in the morning

and get home in plenty of time to figure out how to get out

of going to the dance.

Boy, this is an awful early starting time.

It's all I could get.

- Hi, Ted. - Hi, Joe.

How you been? Oh, fine.

Thank you. Do you know Ozzie Nelson?

I don't believe so.

How do you do?

This is Ted Huggins.

Say, why don't you join us? We can make it a threesome.

Oh, thanks, but I just got a call from the office.

I've got to pick up some equipment down around Mexico

City. Mexico City?

It's quite a trip, isn't it?

Oh, it's not so bad.

I'll be back late this afternoon.

Ted's a pilot for a mining construction company.

Oh, sounds pretty interesting.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Of course, it can get pretty monotonous, too.

Hey, here's an idea.

How would you guys like to fly down there with me?

You're kidding.

No, there's plenty of room.

We could have a few laughs, have lunch down there,

and I'll get you back in time for dinner.

Come on. What do you say?

Oh, gee, I don't know.

What do you think, Oz?

It's up to you.

Well, look, I have to get right out to the airport.

Why don't we leave it this way.

I'll be taking off in an hour and 15 minutes.

If you can make it, meet me at gate seven in an hour, OK?

- OK. - Bye.

Nice to have met you. Hope you can make it.

That's gate seven.

OK.

What do you think, Oz?

It's crazy.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I mean, what would the wives say?

Yeah.

I can just hear Clara now.

Where did you guys have lunch today?

Well, we felt like having a little Mexican food,

so we flew down to Mexico City--

on the spur of the moment.

You know us.

We like to do things spontaneously.

Well, what are we waiting for?

OK.

- Hey, Oz? - Yeah?

All say? Yeah.

Are the girls over here?

No, I thought they were over to your house.

No, I guess they went shopping.

You know there's a big sale at the Emporium today.

Oh, well, that settles it.

They probably spontaneously decided

to buy themselves new dresses for the dance tonight.

Yeah, well, come on. Let's go.

Well, do you think we ought to leave without telling them?

Well, why not? That's the fun of the thing.

Do you have to tell Harriet every time

you go out someplace for lunch?

No.

And after all, it was their idea that we

do something spontaneous.

Well, of course it was.

Besides, we can phone them when we get down there.

Yeah, we'll tell them the malt shop was a little crowded,

so we decided to fly down to Mexico City for lunch.

Hi, Mr. Randolph. Hi, Pop.

- Hi, Rick. - Hi, Rick.

I just came over to borrow a few fishing things if it's OK.

Dave and I are going up to that derby at the lake today.

Oh, yeah, my stuff's in the hall closet.

And why don't you borrow my lucky fishing hat?

You sure you don't need it?

- No, that's OK. - Come on, Oz.

It'll take us 20 minutes to drive out to the airport.

Uh, should we tell him?

Oh, sure.

We're going to fly down to Mexico City for lunch.

Oh, have a good time.

We're going to fly down to Mexico City for lunch.

Ah, what are you gonna do?

Sure great to have you guys along.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, it's nice for you to invite us.

Perfect flying weather, too.

Kind of hit a little pocket there, huh?

Yeah, well, we hit a few bumps here and there.

I think it'll be pretty smooth most of the way.

We may hit a few rough spots going over the mountains.

Uh, did you say the mountains?

Yeah, mountains.

How far are we from home?

Oh, we're not very far yet.

I thought maybe I could just parachute down and hitchhike

back.

I may join you.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, I thought we might play a little pinochle.

Well, shouldn't you--

uh, wh-- what about-- Oh, it's all right.

I set it on autopilot.

Besides, I'll keep an eye out.

Joe is going to be so happy when

I tell him about that beautiful dress I didn't buy.

And the shoes to match.

Oh, I forgot about the shoes.

He'll just be delirious.

He might even ask me to dance a couple of times.

Well, I guess the fellas are back.

Ozzie's golf clubs are here.

Oh, Ozzie?

Joe?

Wait a minute.

What's the matter?

Well, Ozzie usually keeps his fishing stuff in there,

and it's gone.

You mean you think somebody came in and stole it?

No, I'm afraid to think what I'm thinking.

You mean they went up to the fishing derby?

Oh, they wouldn't do a thing like that without telling us.

Yes, they would. Come on.

Let's go. Wait a minute.

Where are you going?

I'm going back to get that dress I didn't buy--

and the shoes to match.

Well, what if they didn't go and we're wrong?

Then I'll feel guilty, and I'll

need everything I can get just to cheer me up.

I can hardly wait till we phone the girls.

Can't you just see Clara's face when I tell her

we're having lunch in Mexico City?

Yeah.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry.

I'm afraid we may have had a little misunderstanding here.

We're not going all the way to Mexico City.

We're not?

No, I'm afraid we won't have time for that.

Oh.

Well, that-- that's OK.

I'm sure there must be a good restaurant at the airport.

Yeah, but what I mean is we're not

going to land at Mexico City.

We're not going that far.

You mean we're landing here?

Yeah.

Uh, what's the name of this place?

It's called Poco Loco.

It's a little mining town.

Oh.

How far is Mexico City?

Oh, it's about a half hour from here.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to mislead you guys.

Oh, that's OK.

Well, hang on, fellas.

We're coming in.

This is it, huh?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

Thought you said it was only a half hour from Mexico City.

Yeah, but that's by plane.

Well, uh, how far is it by road?

Well, actually, there isn't much of a road.

It's more like a trail.

Well, how long does it take to get there?

About 2 and 1/2 days by burro.

Burro?

Well, that lets out Mexico City.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, look, I got to see my loading the cargo.

Just make yourselves comfortable.

Make yourselves comfortable, he says.

Fine.

Oh, by the way, are you guys getting hungry?

Well, yeah.

Where's the restaurant?

Pancho.

Si, señor?

We got a couple of hungry customers here.

Uh, well-- uh, actually, I'm not too hungry.

Nah, me either.

But this is ,, señores,

fresh from Mexico City.

Oh, you fly it in by plane?

No, señor, by burro.

Don't worry.

He tells that to all the tourists.

I think I brought another guy down here once.

- Did he manage to survive? - Oh, sure.

Actually, the food's very good. See?

Food is very good. Have some.

It's on me.

Say, I don't suppose there's a telephone around here,

is there?

Yeah, there's one right inside.

You might have a little trouble getting through, though.

Yeah, we thought we'd call the wives in a little while.

Well, might as well.

You first, Oz.

Uh, I think I'll have one of those tacos.

Yeah, me too.

Two tacos coming up.

Good luck-- on the telephone, señor.

Oh.

Si.

Si, operator.

Person to persona.

Señora Jose Nelson.

Si.

El telephone-o numbero is Warfield.

No, no, no, no.

W-A. Wa.

Wa, like In Juarez.

No, no, no.

No, not Juarez.

Warfield.

Si.

Si, señorita.

Warfield.

Eight.

La ocho.

Uh, I mean ocho.

Dos.

Dos.

Uno.

Uh, uno.

How do you say nine?

Nuevo.

Oh, you speak English.

She speaks English.

Well, why didn't she say so?

She didn't know I did.

OK, I'll hold on.

I can hardly wait.

She's trying to get the number down.

Just tell them we're having lunch in Mexico.

You don't have to describe the place.

Hello, dear.

Is that you, sweetheart?

Oh, sorry, operator-- uh, señorita.

Oh, señor?

Sorry.

Oh, thank you.

Couldn't get through?

Well, yeah, but there's no answer.

Mm.

Let's get some more tacos.

Well, Oz.

How do you like Poco Loco?

Well, it's a good name for it.

Sure isn't Mexico City.

Sure is hot enough.

You should stop eating those tacos.

Got to do something.

We could be home playing golf this afternoon.

You know that, don't you?

We'll be home in a little while.

Oh, here comes Ted.

I sure could use a nice big chocolate malt.

On top of those tacos?

Oh, hi, fellas.

You all set?

No, I'm afraid there's going to be a little delay delay.

Delay?

Yeah, some of the stuff I was supposed to pick up

hasn't arrived yet.

Gee, how long's this going to take.

Oh, it shouldn't be more than a couple of hours.

A couple of hours?

Holy smokes.

Well, I'm sorry, but I promise you we'll be out of here

in two or three hours at the most.

Gee, I hope so.

I'll see what I can do to speed things up.

Pancho, take my friends a couple more tacos on me.

Coming, señor. Coming.

See you later, fellas.

- Two or three hours. - Yeah.

You know what this means?

We're going to miss that dance tonight.

Well, I don't know whether to laugh or cry about that.

You know what Clara's going to think.

She's going to say we came down here just to get out

of going to the dance.

Yeah, and she'll probably convince

Harriet of the same thing.

Think we ought to try to get them on the phone again?

Yeah, I think we should.

I hope they're home by now.

Come and get them, señores.

Plenty good tacos, señores.

Plenty good.

Well, what do you think?

Well, I guess a couple more won't hurt.

Tacos, tamales, enchiladas, burritos,

and all the frijoles you can eat.

Yeah.

You suppose they're home yet?

Well, I didn't see the car.

Ozzie?

Ozzie?

Hello?

Yes, this is Mrs. Nelson.

It's long distance.

Oh, hi, dear.

It's the fellas.

Oh my goodness.

Where are you?

You sound a little strange.

Oh, uh, do I?

She wants to know where we are.

Well, tell her.

Uh, Harriet?

Do you want to tell her?

No, go ahead.

That's why we came down here, wasn't it?

Well, yeah, but, somehow, it seemed much funnier

this morning. Go ahead.

You're wasting pesos.

Uh, Harriet?

What's the matter?

Who are you talking to?

Uh, just Joe.

We decided we'd like to have some tacos for lunch.

Well, where are you?

Uh, We're in Mexico City.

Mexico City?

Mexico City?

Uh, well, not exactly Mexico City,

but we're not far from it, about 2 and 1/2 days by burro.

Are you all right?

Oh, si.

Si.

See, uh, we met this friend of Joe's at the golf club.

He's a pilot.

And he was flying down to Mexico.

So we thought it might be a funny idea--

uh, at least it seemed like a funny idea.

And, anyway, we flew down here with him

and had lunch here in Mexico, just on the spur of the moment.

Yeah, tacos, tamales, enchiladas, burritos!

Coming right up, señor!

No, no.

Joe!

Uh, sorry.

Where was I?

Well, according to you.

You were in Mexico.

When are you going to get home, for goodness sakes?

Well, that's what I wanted to explain to you.

See, we ran into a little difficulty.

We were going to fly down here and go right back,

but now we probably won't get back until late.

In fact, I'm afraid we're going to have to miss the dance.

Oh, I see.

What did he say?

He says they flew down to Mexico for lunch,

and they won't be home in time for the dance.

So that's it.

Let me talk to Joe.

Clara wants to talk to Joe.

Oh, OK.

Just a second.

Clara wants to talk to you.

Here he is.

Hello, honey.

Don't you honey me.

Where are you?

We're down to Mexico.

We just flew down here for lunch.

Honest.

We had the whole works--

tacos, tamales, enchiladas, burritos.

Coming, señor!

You're sure good customers!

Honest, honey, we're in Mexico.

Oh, here.

Here's a real Mexican.

I'll let you talk to him.

Here, Pancho.

Si, señor, tacos, enchiladas, and tamales!

No, no, no, I want you to say something

to my wife on the phone.

Oh?

Buenos dias, señora.

I love you.

Clara, did you hear that?

Who do you think you're kidding?

What's the matter?

I think they're at a bar someplace.

They just put some drunk on with the phoniest

Mexican accent I've ever heard in my life.

Have you been drinking?

Hello, Clara?

Look, I don't care where you are.

Just sober up and get home for dinner.

Where do they think they are?

I'm not sure, but I've got a pretty good idea.

I think they're up the lake fishing.

Oh, do you think so?

You know, they could be in Mexico.

They could have flown down there for lunch.

Does Ozzie like Mexican food?

Well, no, not especially.

Does Joe?

He can't stand it.

He gets heartburn if he drives by a Mexican movie.

What do you think?

I've got a feeling they don't believe we're down here.

Well, I can't say as I blame them.

I'm not sure I believe it myself.

Well, when we miss that dance tonight, we'll all believe it.

Yeah.

You and that pilot friend of yours.

Friend of mine?

I never met him until this morning.

That's what I mean.

I should think you'd have more sense than

to go flying off with some guy you hardly even know.

Well, here we are laughing, and we're facing disaster.

We've got to figure out some way to straighten ourselves out

with the wives.

Maybe we could take home a couple of souvenirs,

you know, some little trinkets for them.

At least it would prove we were down here.

There are so many beautiful gift shops here in Poco Loco.

How about Pancho?

More tacos, señor?

No.

No, we'd like to get some souvenirs.

Oh, souvenirs, si.

Frijoles, enchiladas--

No, no, no more food.

No, no, we want to get some presents to take home

to our wives.

Oh,.

Presents for the wives!

Si, señor.

Do you have some?

No, señor.

Well, do where we could get some?

Maybe Mexico City?

No, I'm afraid that's a little too far.

Hey-- hey, Oz, how bout this?

You can't take the sarape off the man's back.

Si, señor, only $4.50 American money.

Real bargain, eh?

You want to buy the hat?

This is quite a storm.

Yeah, I'm trying to get around it.

It may take a little longer, but it won't be quite so rough.

I hope you're right.

What time do you figure we'll get in?

Oh, around midnight--

if we don't get lost or run out of gas.

Oh, good.

There's one thing you can be sure of.

Eventually, we're bound to come down.

How you doing, Oz?

I don't know.

I never had trouble flying before.

Well, it's not the flying.

It's the tacos, and the tamales, the enchiladas.

Please.

I think I'll take her up a little bit.

Oh, no, don't.

When you go up, the tacos come down.

And when you come down, the tamales go up.

And the enchiladas are just sloshing around from side

to side.

Hang on, partner.

If I feel any worse, I may throw these extra tacos

overboard.

What time is it?

About one o'clock.

Oh, too bad.

I hate to start off a new day with a big fight.

You think we should have had these gift wrapped?

What difference does it make?

Nothing's going to help us now, anyway.

Why, that's a fine attitude.

Oh, I guess Rick brought the stuff back.

Oh, yeah, that's right. He went fishing.

Lucky guy.

We could have gone fishing, too, and not be any more trouble

than we are now.

Yeah, look, let's act as if we don't

expect the girls to be mad.

How do we do that?

Well, uh, look happy.

Do you hear what I hear?

Yeah, they finally got up enough nerve to come home.

Oh, too bad we don't have a tape recorder.

This ought to be worth saving.

Buenos noches, señora.

No, Oz, not señoras, beautiful señoritas.

Oh, of course-o!

Mucho pretty-o!

Mucho baloney-o!

They've been fishing. What do you think?

Fishing hat. Fishing box.

Clara, we have not.

No, no, no, no, we went down to Mexico,

a quaint little place called Poco Loco.

Yeah, we flew down there on the spur of the moment--

you know, one of those spontaneous things you girls

are always talking about.

You mean you went all the way to Mexico to go fishing?

No. No.

No, no, no, we went to Mexico, but not to go fishing.

See, Ricky borrowed this fishing stuff this morning,

and I guess he left it out in the kitchen.

I just picked it up.

What do you think?

No, no, Harriet, don't ask Clara.

Make up your own mind.

Before you make up your mind, we

brought you some authentic Mexican souvenirs.

That's right.

This is for you, honey.

This is for you, dear.

Well, thank you.

Regarde.

Well, it certainly looks like they've been someplace.

But not Mexico.

This was made in Japan.

Japan?

Joe!

Oz, show them the change you got from Pancho.

Are you kidding?

You spent the change for those last tacos.

He ate tacos?

He ate tacos, tamales, enchiladas, burritos--

Oz, just stop it.

This is not fair.

You know something?

I'm beginning to believe him.

The only time he groans like that

is when he's been eating my mother's cooking

or Mexican food, and I know he wasn't visiting my mother.

Then you believe us?

Well, I must admit, there's a lot of evidence in your favor--

the sombrero, the sarape, Joe's heartburn.

And the fact that Rick told us all about it when he

brought the fishing stuff back.

You mean you knew all along?

And you let us go through all this for nothing?

Oh, it wasn't for nothing.

We really enjoyed it.

Besides, it serves you right for coming home so late.

We couldn't help it.

See, what did I tell you?

She thinks we did it on purpose so we wouldn't

have to go to the dance.

I suppose if the dance was next week,

you'd be happy to go.

Naturally.

Well, not exactly happy.

But after all, we promised to take you,

so we would have lived up to it.

Well, good, because it is next week.

Next week?

Well, you said it was tonight.

Well, that was just a little spontaneous idea

we had to get you guys to use up any excuses

you might come up with.

And you sure came up with a beauty.

Well, it looks like we're stuck with taking them

to the dance next week.

- Oh, not necessarily. - Why?

What do you mean?

Well, we thought you might be willing to settle for taking us

out to dinner someplace.

Hey, yeah, that's a deal!

OK.

In fact, there's a new restaurant just opened up

over on Chandler Street.

Or there's always the malt shop.

Oh, the food is great at the malt shop!

Well, we had something a little different in mind.

Such as what?

Well, let's see.

How about breakfast in London.

Luncheon in Rome.

Dinner in Paris.

A late supper in Monte Carlo.

All those in favor of going to the dance, say I.

I could have danced all night.

Or the Tango.

Or the Watusi.

The Frug!

Or the Freddy!

Or the Ozzie.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Scott, makers of new cut-rite plastic

sandwich bags--

the first and only sandwich bags that seal themselves and stay

sealed.

Cut-rite

The National Safety Council says a really good driver never

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He expects the unexpected and is prepared to react fast.

Driver as though your life depended on it.

It does.

And so do the lives of others.

Live up to the rules.

Drive carefully and courteously, too.

For your own protection, insist on strict law enforcement.

When traffic laws are obeyed, deaths go down.