All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S14E04.Helpful.June.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WADU_track3_[eng]

"The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's June.

June, I'm home.

I beg your pardon,
but your wife has just

stepped out for a few moments.

What's this all about?

Oh, darn.

You recognized me.

Oh, I'm very sorry, sir.

Is this better?

Oh, you're positively
irresistible.

How about a little kiss?

After I remove the mustache.

Ow!

Hey, that hurt.

Now this may sound crazy, but
what's going on around here?

Oh, nothing.

I just thought I'd try
on a few disguises.

Is this your subtle
way of telling me

that dinner isn't ready yet?

No, of course not.

If dinner wasn't ready, I'd
just say dinner isn't ready.

Dinner isn't ready.

It will be in a minute.

In the meantime, would you
like a nice double martini?

A double martini?

Yeah.

That's what Myrna Loy used
to fix for William Powell.

Oh, so that's what you've been
doing all afternoon, drinking

double martinis.

You must know I had a
glass of milk, three cookies,

and watched an old movie on TV.

Oh, that sounds exciting.

It was.

Did anything interesting
happen at the office today?

Well, let's see.

We settled the McDermott
insurance claim,

and Mrs. Van Cleave came
in to draw up another will.

Oh, I mean really interesting.

Well, we ran out of
paper cups this afternoon.

Well, William Powell
always brought home

a nice little murderer.

At least a jewel
robbery or something.

Yeah, but he's supposed to
be a detective, not a lawyer.

Well, that doesn't matter.

The important thing
is that he always

brought home these interesting
cases that his wife could

help him solve.
Now, wait a second.

I may be slow, but
I finally catch on.

This is your semi-annual
"why can't I help you out

at the office" pitch.

Well, why can't I?

I'm sure lots of interesting
things happen down there,

but you just don't want to tell
me about them because you're

afraid I'll solve them for you.

OK, if I ever have occasion
to use a female private eye

with a whole bag full
of terrific disguises,

I'll call on you.

Well, you're kidding, but I
think I could be a lot of help

if you just gave me a chance.

Doris Clark helps her husband,
and he's just a lawyer.

Just a lawyer?

Oh, well, you
know what I mean.

He's not a detective.

He defended a burglar that
turned out not to be a burglar,

and his wife helped him
retrace the steps of the crime,

and they found out
the man wasn't guilty.

Well, he's a different
kind of a lawyer than I am.

I don't handle criminal cases.

But if you did,
would you let me help?

Sure.

Look, I'll tell you what.

Can you meet me at the office?

Well, sure.

What time?

Uh, about 12:45?

Well, yeah.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to go out
and have lunch with me,

because I got a feeling I ain't
going to get no dinner tonight.

You know something?

You may be right.

So there's my sensible,
little wife standing there

with a black wig and a mustache.

I don't know what
you're complaining about.

I thought a wife was supposed
to dress up for her husband

when he comes home
from the office.

Well, I don't like
girls with black wigs.

Oh, come on, you guys.

There's nothing wrong with
a wife helping her husband.

Oh, who wants to be
married to Sherlock Holmes?

She's got the idea that
everything we do down here

is mysterious and glamorous.

Oh, it's glamorous, all right.

You don't get sick from
licking the stamps.

Yeah, mysterious, too.

Mrs. Murphy's will
seems to be missing.

I thought it was the overalls.

No, they're in Mrs.
Murphy's chowder.

I've got the will right here.

I had to make a few changes.

She wants to leave a little
more money to her cat.

Please, I can only
stand so much excitement.

Excitement?

What's this I hear
about excitement?

- Hi, June.
- Hi, June.

- Hi.
- See what I mean?

You're a little early.

Don't try and
change the subject.

You were talking about
something exciting,

and I want to know what it is.

He never tells me
anything interesting

happening here at the office.

What, didn't you tell
her about the Murphy case?

No, he didn't.

Uh, honey.

Who's Mr. Murphy?

It's Mrs. Murphy.

It's a woman.

Believe me, it's nothing.

Nothing?

What about that cat that's
getting all the money from her?

Don't pay attention to him.

He's been licking too
many stamps this morning.

He's got mucilage poisoning.

Come on, let's go to lunch.

See you later.
Bye.

Oh, uh, wait a second.

How about our
instructions here, chief?

Should we put a tail
on Mrs. Murphy or not?

Do me a favor, will you?

Just forget about it.

David?

Come on, honey.

Let's go.

Put a tail on Mrs. Murphy.

Well, there's a
tail on the cat.

Oh, uh, which reminds me, did
you ever find out about that?

Find out about what?

Uh, who put the--

Overalls in Mrs.
Murphy's chowder?

No, we never found out.

How's the hamburger?

Real good.

I hope you don't
mind eating here

but I had to stop by this way.

This is fine.

I mean, you look so
nice and all, I probably

should have taken you of
those fancy spots where we

take all the important clients.

Oh that's OK.

Only I kind of
wish you'd told me.

I wouldn't have put
any bubbles in my bath.

Who's that?

Who?

That woman who just came in.

I don't know.

I thought I recognized
her, but I guess not.

Look, honey, I hate
to do this to you,

but I got to go
in a few minutes.

Oh, that's OK.

How come you're
still watching her?

- Who?
- That woman.

Oh, no special reason.

She just looks kind of familiar.

Malt Shop.

Just a second.

Is there a Mrs. Murtry here?

Yes?

Telephone for you.

Thank you.

Hello?

Did he say "Murphy"?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Of course he did.

That's the woman in the
case you're handling.

What are you talking about?

Rick mentioned
her, the Murphy case.

Oh, he was just kidding.

You mean there
is no Murphy case?

Well, yeah, there
is, but she's just

a nice old lady who's leaving
all her money to a cat.

For some reason, you don't
want me to know the truth,

do you?
What do you mean?

No wonder you brought me here.

You knew she was
going to be here.

Honey, I don't know
what you're talking about.

And then she got a phone
call right after she came in.

Look, I just brought
you here because it's

close to the library, and
I want to stop in there.

OK, play it cool, but I
can help you if you'd let me.

Oh, I'd be only too
happy to let you help me

if there was anything to do.

Well, I could follow
her, like Ricky suggested.

He was just kidding.

All right, goodbye, dear.

Could I trouble you for
a glass of water, please?

- Sure.
- She just hung up.

Good.

Look, I'm sorry I
have to rush off,

but I got an appointment
in about 15 minutes.

She's probably going
to meet somebody.

Aren't you going to stay
and find out who it is?

Honey, for the last time--

never mind.

You stay here and
see who it is, OK?

I got to go.

You finish your lunch.

This will take
care of the check.

I'll see you later.

OK.

Thank you very much.

Jack?
Jack!

- Yeah?
- Oh, darn.

You wiped her
fingerprints off it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

Well, here.

Keep the change.

Gee, thanks.

Hi, Dave.

Hi.

Any messages?

No, nothing important.

How'd your appointment
with Judge Willoughby go?

Oh, fine.
Thanks.

- Oh, good.
- Hi.

- Don't talk to me.
- What's the matter?

You know darn well
what's the matter.

You and your
mysterious Murphy case.

Cut it out.

June knew I was kidding.
Oh, yeah?

You should have been
with us at lunch.

Dobson, Kelley, and Nelson.

Oh, hi, June.

Yeah, just a second.

Here, it's June for you.

Oh, thanks.

Hi, honey.
David?

What's the matter
with your voice?

I'm whispering.

But what for?

I don't want her to hear me.

She may come out any minute.
Who?

Mrs. Murphy.

I thought I'd better
check in and tell you

she left the Malt
Shop, got in her car

at the parking lot,
stopped off for some gas,

left some pictures
at a camera shop.

She's going to pick them
up tomorrow morning.

And she just went in
this little hat shop.

Wait a minute.
You mean you're following her?

Well, of course!

Oh, here she comes.

I'll check with you later.

Oh, great.

What's the matter?

Well, she's
following Mrs. Murphy.

Mrs. Murphy?

You mean the little
lady with the rich cat?

Well, yeah.

I mean no.

Well, she thinks
it's Mrs. Murphy,

but it's really somebody who
looks like somebody else.

Would you like to
run through that again?

Well I saw this
woman at the Malt Shop,

and I thought she
looked familiar, so I--

oh, never mind.

It's ridiculous.

You mean June is actually
following this strange woman

around town?

Yeah, she thinks
she's helping me.

Gee, I'm sorry.

I didn't think she'd
take me seriously.

Well, she did.

And you know how it is.

Wife sits home all day, goes
through the same old boring

routine, gets to thinking
things are a little more

exciting on the outside.

The outside?

Well, you know what I mean.

Well, I wouldn't
worry about it.

Well, I would.

She's not going to
be too happy when

she finds out this whole
thing was just a gag.

Yeah, the worst part of it
is, she thinks she's helping me.

Well, it could be worse.

- How?
- It could be Chris.

Then I'd be the one
who's in trouble.

June?

June, honey.

Here I am.

I got a present for you.

Oh, that's beautiful.

But I can't take them.

Oh, you have to,
because I've got something

I have to tell you.

I can't take them because
I don't deserve them.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I messed everything up.

I lost her.

You lost who?

That woman, Mrs. Murphy.

I lost her in the
crowd at the Emporium.

Oh.

Uh, you did?

I feel so embarrassed,
I don't know what to say.

Well, look, don't
worry about it.

I feel so silly, after
my big talk about wanting

to be such a big help to you.

Believe me, it's OK.

In fact, the more
I think about it,

this might be the best thing
that could have happened.

You're just saying that
to make me feel better.

No, really, believe me.

I'm the one who feels better.

I mean that you're off the case.

I mean, I wouldn't want you to
be in any danger or anything.

You mean it really
was dangerous?

Well, let's say I was a little
worried, but I feel fine now.

Well, what was it all about?

Oh, well, why don't
we just forget about it?

I guess you're right.

After all, a woman's place is
in the home, cleaning the house,

doing the laundry, and
cooking the dinner.

Oh, my gosh.

The dinner!

David?

David?
What is it?

I just thought of something.

I know how to find her.

- What?
- Mrs. Murphy.

She's going to pick up some
film this morning at the camera

shop.

What's that?

I said I'm going to
follow Mrs. Murphy.

OK.

Hey, wait a minute!

June!

June!

June!

June!

Morning, Mr. Nelson.

Well, good morning.

How's the husband
of 007 and 1/2?

That's not too funny.

He's not in a very
good mood today, is he?

You're right.

I take it June
wasn't too happy

when you told her the truth.

Or you went home and
didn't tell her the truth.

You didn't even go home.

Oh, of course, I went home.

I just decided not to tell her.

I didn't want to
hurt her feelings.

As it turned out, I
should have told her.

What do you mean?

Well, she came
home last night,

and she said she'd
lost the woman's trail.

And she got up this morning
and dashed out of the house

to try to find her again.

Why didn't you run
out and stop her?

In my fluffy green bathrobe?

I suggest we don't ask
for any raises today.

It was June's bathrobe.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Of course, there is a chance
she might not pick up the trail.

008 and 1/4.

7 and 1/2.

Ooh, I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

June--

Mom, hi.

I didn't recognize you--

Shh.

You look so different.

What did you do with your hair?

Oh, it's just a wig.

I'm wearing it for a disguise.

Oh, thank goodness.

I thought I was going to
say something nice about it.

I'm following
somebody for David.

You're what?

Now I know she's
involved in a case

that David's office is handling.

Well, I didn't know they
handled any criminal cases.

I didn't either.

He never tells me anything.

Well, what are
you supposed to do?

Well, I'm just trying to find
out everything I can about her.

She wears a size 10 dress.

She's looking this way.

Wait a minute.

What am I looking for?

She's going in
the dressing room.

So you don't suppose
there's another exit back

there, do you?

Gee, I didn't
think about that.

Well, I better
not go back there.

If she sees me too often,
she'll get suspicious.

Well, she's never seen me.

What if I go back there?

That's a good idea.

Wait a minute.

You got to take
something to try on.

I better take something else.

I might catch cold in this.

Dobson, Kelley, and Nelson.

June?

Oh, yes, sir, I was
just mailing them out.

Bye-bye.

That was Mr. Andrews.

He was wondering
about his contracts.

Oh.

You know, it would help
if I could figure out

where I'd seen that woman,
the woman June's following.

Well, maybe you've
seen a picture of her

in the post office?

Police line-up?

Dobson, Kelley, and Nelson.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Nelson.

June?

No, it's your mom.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Hi, dear.

Oh, fine.

I'm with June.

With June?

Yeah, she wanted me to let you
know that we were at the health

club.
A health club?

That's great.

And here I am
worried about June,

and she's with Mom goofing
off at a health club.

What are you doing down there?

Well, June's inside,
and I'm guarding the door.

Guarding the door?

What for?

Mrs. Murphy?

Here she comes.

I'll call you back.

What happened to you?

Oh, don't ever take a steam
bath in a cheap black wig.

Come on.

Boy, this is great.

Now she's got Mom
following the woman.

How'd she manage that?

Don't ask me.

- Who is this woman anyway?
- I don't know.

But whoever she is,
I hope they lose her

before they get in
trouble with the police.

Hey, the police!

That's it.

Jack didn't say Murphy.
He said Murtry.

That's where I saw that
woman, at the banquet honor,

and her husband, Charlie Murtry.

- The chief of police?
- Yeah.

You mean your
wife and our mother

have been trailing the wife
of the chief of police?

Evidently.

Let's start phoning
the health clubs.

There's a woman's
gym in the next block.

Oh, it's probably too late.

Well, if that's the one,
maybe I can catch her.

Yeah, or maybe find
out where they went.

Look up some gyms.
Well, I already have.

Here's one.

Gorman's Gym, two regulation
rings, sparring partners

provided.

I doubt if that's the one.

Let's hope not.

- Can I take your order?
- Oh, thank you.

I think I'll wait.
I'm expecting my husband.

OK.

What's she doing?

She's just talking to Jack.

Can you hear what
she was saying?

No, I couldn't.

Oh, pardon me, please.

Oh, sorry.

Do you think we
ought to go inside?

I don't know.
She sees us too often.

She might recognize us.

I'm sorry I'm late, dear.

That's all right.

Look, Mom, he's
sitting down with her.

You know, the one day I have
a date to take you to lunch,

and somebody tries
to rob a bank.

Don't worry.

I haven't been here very long.

He's probably the one she got
the phone call from yesterday.

- You mean the contact?
- Yeah.

Do you think we ought to
go inside and find out

what they're saying?

This may be what
Dave wants to know.

- You may be right.
- Come on.

We'll go in quietly.

They won't notice us.

Hi, June.
Hi, Ms. Nelson.

Shh.

- What's the matter?
- Oh, nothing.

We just don't want
to be noticed.

Oh, I get it.

Sneaking in here to
break your diets, huh?

Let's go over to
the magazine rack.

Would you like to order?

Yes, please.

A couple of hamburgers
and two chocolate malts.

OK.

What did he say?

He said a couple of hamburgers
and two chocolate malts.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Unless that's encoded,
it isn't going to give us

very much information.

Here.

Here, if we move in closer, we
can hear what they're saying.

How much did it come to?

Well, I'd say it
was close to $50,000.

Did you hear that?

Yes, he said
something about $50,000.

You must have had quite a day.

Not any different
than any other day.

Forgers, embezzlers,
pickpockets, petty thieves.

It's all right when I
was a little younger.

Well, I must admit, I'm getting
just a little tired of it.

Oh, you love it.

You know you do, Charles.

It's better than being
back at the penitentiary.

Well, I've got to admit
those five years were about

the dullest I've ever spent.
Did you hear that?

Five years in the penitentiary.
Shh.

- Oh--
- I'm sorry, Jack.

Excuse me.

Come on, let's go.

I hope she isn't suspicious.

They're both looking this way.

Now what do we do?

We can't follow them
if they recognized us.

I think it's time we called
in another agent, 0013.

Where is everybody?

I don't know.

Has Rick called in yet?

Not yet.

Why hasn't he?

Well, I don't know.

Doggone it.

There is some
good news, though.

What's that?

We haven't heard
from the police either.

Them anyway.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Hi, dear.

Boy, am I glad to see you two.

Are we glad to see you.

Boy, have we got news for you.

We followed that woman
into the Malt Shop,

and she met a man
in there who spent

five years in the penitentiary.

Yes, I know.

And he associates with
all kinds of criminals.

I know that, too.

He used to be a guard
at the state prison.

He's now the chief of police.

The what?

The chief of police?

I'm afraid so, and the
woman you've been trailing

is his wife.

Oh, no.

His wife?

Well, what did you ask me
to do a thing like that for?

I didn't.

Well, you did so.

No, I didn't.

Well, it doesn't
matter anyway, honey.

It's all over now.

Well, not quite.

What do you mean?

Well, we assigned another
agent to the case, 0013.

You don't mean--

boy.

That'll be fine, Sergeant.

Yeah, they're right outside.

OK.

Ready, dear?

Mm-hmm.

All right, come on.

From now on, I solemnly
swear to believe you

when you say that things
are dull at the office.

OK, now once more.

That's enough.

Don't I get any sympathy?

After all, I followed a
couple of strange women

all over town before I caught
up with them and found out they

weren't two at all.

Well, it's your
father I feel sorry for.

I've never seen
him so embarrassed.

Yeah, poor Pop.

Believe me, Mr. Nelson, you
don't have to wear that stuff.

I swear there was nobody
here who knew you when

the police hauled you away.

Besides, a thing like that
can happen to anybody.

Well, I suppose.

I'll just have one
more for the road.

Another double?

OK.

What are you going to do?

Your love
and kisses, aha-ha.

Your love and kisses, aha-ha,
fulfill all of my wishes.

That's all I gotta have to
make my dreams come true.

You took me by the hand and
made me feel just like a man.

And little chills went
up and down my spine.

You made me love you
through and through,

and when you kiss
me like you do,

it leaves me feeling awful fine.

I've got to have your
love and kisses, aha-ha.

Your love and kisses, aha-ha,
fulfill all of my wishes.

That's all I got to have to
make my dreams come true.

Your love and kisses, aha-ha,
your love and kisses, aha-ha,

fulfill all of my wishes.

That's all I gotta have to
make my dreams come true.

I never had a lot, but if
you take the things I got,

I wouldn't care as
long as I have you.

And you know I'll always try
to be anything you ask of me,

and this is all I want from you.

I got to have your love
and kisses, aha-ha.

Your love and kisses, aha-ha,
fulfill all of my wishes.

That's all I gotta have to
make my dreams come true.

A forest fire is
a terrible thing.

Here's what you can do to help.

One, crush out cigarettes,
cigar and pipe ashes.

Two, break matches
in two after using.

Three, drown all campfires.

Then stir and drown again.

Remember, only you can
prevent forest fires.