Original subtitles

♪ He's a phony

You can either accept the life that I live now or not.

♪ They've got trouble down the coastal mile ♪

If I lost him, I would die.

♪ I believe.

I have had enough of my name getting destroyed.

♪ Not everyone's listening

This season on "Southern Charm."

Olly, olly oxen free.

- Oh! - Huge mosquito.

Agh.

- Nobody's coming. - Watch the curb.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

Cheers to the Bahamas.

I love the ocean!

Am I extremely attracted to you? Yes.

Are we on the same page?

Mm-hm.

JT.

He called you a bitch.

He will be the bitch when I'm done with him.

If Craig's seen with a beer in his hand,

he thinks this whole business is going down.

Cutting himself off from everybody is not a solution.

Austen and Shep are like foaming out the mouth

to say that you changed because of me.

Our friendship will never look like it used to.

I knew that's how you were gonna take it.

You can either swim or leave.

Taylor's new boyfriend is my ex.

And like I slept with Shep.

- Oh. - Oh.

I dropped an L bomb with Miss Bahamas.

I'm in love, man.

She's like a big fan of "Southern Charm."

Stalker.

I got you a gift.

I'm getting nervous.

Don't be.

Shep is being delusional.

Dude, she's not into him.

I shouldn't have done this.

Understand what I'm saying to you.

It's not okay.

- Go home. - I dated Shep.

Y'all just [beep].

So you're either gonna be supportive

or you're gonna [beep] move on.

I am tired of this frame we're in.

Mm-hmm.

What else you want me to do?

Sit there and look pretty.

Thanks.

I'm coming out.

Oh yeah?

My nipple's coming out.

Titties for breakfast.

Call Gaston.

Hello.

What's up baby?

Your haircut looks nice

- With the hat on? - Yeah.

Okay. This is good.

Even I need a step stool.

I don't wear Gucci.

- Craig? - What's up?

- Gimme one second. - Okay.

I mean, like, this is what I'm concerned with.

I mean there's no way

that Shep has a hairdryer in his house.

Well, it's his family's house.

Let's hit the road. I'll drive.

When I go on road trips with Craig,

Craig always drives.

If I'm an amateur psychologist,

it's probably a control thing.

I'm always driving 'cause my friends are always drunk.

Woo-hoo.

Oh my god. Craig.

Did we lose anything?

Nope.

Okay.

Oh, I went the wrong way. Sorry.

Oh my god. Dude, that's so embarrassing.

Okay. Are you gonna make it?

I'm gonna make it. We're gonna get this outfit.

Can we get a different cane for the outfit?

Yeah, if you can find one.

Would you mind getting the door for me?

- No, of course not. - Thank you.

Thank you so much. - You're so welcome.

Hold it a little longer.

This cane has got to go.

You gotta get something cute.

Isn't it like a Kentucky Derby thing?

Hey, how are you sir? - How's it going?

- Trying to get him an outfit. - Trying to find some outfits.

- What are we hunting for? - The Carolina Cup.

Oh nice. Real nice.

Kind of want him in like cream linen.

Is the cane part of it?

I took a little ATV crash on it.

Okay, I went to Costa Rica

and I'm going down the mountain in an ATV

and I hit a little dirt drift

and I projectiled pretty far down the side of the mountain.

I'm laying there on the ground, there's blood everywhere.

I look up and the ATV is rolling down

and it pins my leg underneath of it and I'm trapped

and screaming in the jungle.

And I'm like, "Am I gonna lose a leg?"

So I get to the doctor and he said, you're not gonna die.

Yeah, I guess it wasn't that bad.

It hurt but...

Yeah.

Can you try it on?

- Can you hold my cane? - Yeah.

Thank you.

I'll protect you while we're

in the store. - Can you hold this too?

- Yeah. - Thank you.

Alright.

The first time JT and I bonded

was when we were in Jamaica.

Tomorrow morning.

I'm trying to like see the sunset

and then like do whatever. - That's the sunrise.

Sunrise? Pbbt.

And ever since then, we talk every day

which is kind of wild to say

but I feel like we're just really close.

Oh, that looks yummy on you.

- Yummy? - Yeah.

Did you just call me yummy?

Yummy. Yeah, you look nice.

Okay.

Can't teach chemistry.

It's either there or it's not. And it's there.

So for the Carolina Cup, I rented a party bus.

Are you in? - Yes.

- Alright. - We have a game plan.

Now, how are you gonna pick that up?

Good call.

That was dumb.

Carolina Cup. It's technically a horse race.

But it's really like a Lily Pulitzer fashion show.

All the girls have the biggest hats.

Any memories from Carolina Cup?

Sadly there are no memories for me

because I would be too...

Lit.

Are you like excited to see people tomorrow?

Well, I haven't talked to Austen

since last year.

I think I'm gonna perform

the first ever boy exorcism.

Is it gonna be eye contact, "Hey, how you doing?"

Or are you not gonna speak?

I can't just be there with him

and just be like...

Like, we gotta have a conversation.

I was not thrilled with Austen's behavior last year.

This has to [beep] end.

- JT, stop, dude. - You are inches-

You just told her to hush.

Like, what is she? A child?

Do it again.

Boy!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I think that the message landed.

I'm gonna take the high road here

and just be like, "Hey, I almost died

and I don't care if you're toxic but I'm good now."

Yeah, like life is too short.

Life's too short to have a beef.

Hey Pooks.

I was just calling to check in on the drive.

How much longer do y'all have?

Probably like an hour 40.

Shep wants us to meet him at his farmhouse.

So that's what we're going to do.

Okay. Have fun.

Alright. Okay.

Bye. - Bye.

You didn't say I love you?

I did not.

I met Audrey last summer.

She lives in Charlotte

and we've been officially dating for three months.

You know, typically, my move is to just like, you know,

hang out with someone a bunch and like not define it

because I'm like too chicken to say something.

- Right. - But with Audrey,

I am the one that brought it up

and so I was like, we should define the relationship.

How is my little Pooky monster?

Pooks is doing good.

She's tired per usual.

There's Pooks, there's Pooky Monster,

there's Pooka-potamus.

It is still weird to tell people like,

"Hey, this is my girlfriend.

This is my girlfriend, Audrey."

You know, for me, definitely.

Like, it is a big step.

I love that we're just in the middle of [beep] nowhere.

Yeah, we're on this road for 30 miles.

All right.

Shep.

- Good to see you. - Have a good trip up?

- Yeah. Easy. - Good.

- How's it going? - Good to see you man.

Hey, Craig.

He's back.

So race is tomorrow and Craig and Austen are on their way.

- Perfect. - Lookit.

This is what I'm gonna wear.

It's a white linen suit.

That's gonna be perfect for the cup.

My family's farm is in Boykin, South Carolina,

which is like a 10-minute drive to the Carolina Cup.

Boykin is my family on my dad's side.

So the town is named after them.

King George III granted the Boykins the land

in 1780-something.

My dad has a deep connection and love for it

so we'd spend a lot of time there.

What do we have here?

We're gonna cook tonight. - Well you're doing

this healthy stuff now as a-

- No, I am healthy. - I mean, look at you.

- Yeah. You think I look- - Absolutely.

- Okay. - So you're still

doing all that?

Yeah, I went to Costa Rica and did Ayahuasca.

I told you about it. Did you ever look it up on YouTube?

- Yeah, I did. - So I'm recalibrating.

Yeah. Yeah. - Okay.

What happened in Las Vegas was very sobering,

no pun intended.

At BravoCon, I was outta control.

I can't even tell you what happened.

Well what happened is

you were blackout all weekend.

Basically. Yes.

I knew that something had to change.

So earlier this year I went to Costa Rica

to this psychedelic retreat

for self-realization and examination.

And it was very powerful.

They say it's like three years of therapy in four nights.

I've been back.

It's not perfect 'cause I've been doing things one way

for a long time, as you know.

So I'm trying to be healthy. - Well, it is working.

I appreciate that.

Now, I'm going to the gym four or five times a week.

I've tried to drink less and I think it's working, so.

Well, I might go for a jog

speaking of health. - Okay.

Craig and Austen should be close.

So I'll run, I'll shower.

And you'll be able to get caught up.

Sounds good.

Craig, come on.

After Vegas, I reached out to Austen and Craig.

Come on, bud.

They sort of blew me off.

You guys are the only guys I can talk to.

Do you realize that?

You're the only one

that knows my reality. - But this isn't the first...

It's happened 17 times.

I want them to understand how much they hurt me

because when I have a problem,

for them to say no thank you

is beyond anything that I'd ever known about friendship.

Good boy.

Come here.

I want to have a relationship with Shep again.

I miss Shep.

And like we see each other in the gym,

which is like pretty surface level.

Ah, what's up?

Good to see you.

- What's up? - What's up bro?

- What's up? - What's up?

What's up?

It's not what it used to be.

I know.

The question that I have for him

is just, what does he want, you know?

Like, if he honestly wants to change,

we can be there for him to lean on,

but I want clarity from him.

Yeah.

You know, we're already [beep] split.

Coming up.

So you're excited to see Craig?

I mean...

I'm not trying to flirt and steal him from Paige.

After my near-death experience, I was

thinking about you.

All right.

You're not gonna beat me with this.

Stacey?

- Hello! - Hey.

How are you?

So what are you up to?

So I'm throwing a party for the Carolina Cup.

Okay.

So I have a Carolina Herrera dress, but I'm always open.

Is that the vibe we're going for?

I always like to know how you want to feel.

Just over the top.

Hi.

- Hi! - Hi!

Hi. How are you?

Oh my God. We look like twins.

I know, right?

I'm your giant twin.

Hi.

- Hi, how are you? - Oh, good to see you.

- Good to see you. - You look good.

Thank you. I'm trying.

You're easy to dress

because I have dressed you for so many shoots.

Honestly.

Like 12 years of dressing. - This is amazing.

Molly is one of my favorite people in the world.

She's the model

so I used to do her hair and makeup for shoots.

She's funny and she's weird, but like in a good way.

I love it.

- I love the hair. - I know.

- I know. Oh my God. - This looks nice.

We're we're healing the trauma from my past weaves.

- These pants are so- - Those would look good

on your butt, girl.

Oh, gosh.

People keep asking me if I got a BBL.

I'm like, "No, I just gained 25 pounds."

- I love this jumpsuit. - Ooh.

- Right? - We love the a jumpsuit.

Definitely try on that blue, though.

The blue color is-

- Is amazing. - I feel like that's the one.

- I think you're in that one. - Okay.

I don't know.

I look like a picnic table.

Hey, Molly, look at this one. - Oh, there's no way

this is zipping up.

Ooh.

Love the color.

See if you can zip that sucker up.

Okay.

I did, you know, top model,

I walked for Vivian Westwood, I shot for Vogue,

but I have a thyroid problem

and it does cause my weight to fluctuate,

so in the past two years I gained 45 pounds

and I lost a lot of my modeling jobs.

It's a mind [beep].

Ooh, the boobs are boobing.

Yes! Snatched.

Okay. But like...

Okay.

Can you put the tag in?

Yeah.

That's insane on you. I love it.

I'm just a girl.

And it's very lady.

- I'm just a girl. - I'm just a girl

with pockets.

- You wanna have some? - Mamosa.

They got OJ.

Yeah, I'm really excited for the cup.

So you're excited to see Craig?

I mean...

I'm not trying to flirt

and steal him from Paige or anything.

Craig and I have been flirty friends for a long time.

We used to sext each other

and send each other naughty videos and stuff.

I mean, I wasn't mad at it, you know?

I mean, Craig's hot.

He's, he's hot.

When's the last time you saw Whitney?

I went over to Whitney's house and I cooked him lamb shanks.

Girl. That's the key, so-

Like, why hasn't he-

I think that you two would be cute together.

I think so.

I mean, I like Whitney, but I just don't trust

that he's ready to actually settle down.

Well, when he sees you dressed up, girl,

he might change his mind. - I don't know. I'm 36.

I feel like a lot of the- - You're 36?

Girl, I'm in the years

of the people who are getting divorced

so now there're new men opening up again.

Yeah, but then I feel like

they're gonna go through that ho phase.

So you don't wanna get 'em fresh out.

No. 'Cause I'm a jealous psycho.

Cheers to that.

Same.

I'll be like, here's an air tag. Swallow it.

- Literally. - 'Cause I'm gonna

track your ass for the rest of your life.

Like,

I won't even tell him.

I'm gonna do it while he's sleeping.

Oh, look who we have.

Hey, these city folk are here.

Hey, bud!

What's up little chunky monkey?

Hey.

Ah, peach colored. I like it. - Hey buddy.

Hey, it's Craig and Craig.

He's trying to unpack for you.

Yeah, he drop kicked.

Y'all are upstairs. Two beds in each one.

I'm ready to snack.

Yeah, we might do some chips and salsa.

Oh-ho, boy.

This'll work.

Do I want this bed or that bed?

I probably shouldn't put it on the white.

Oh, [beep].

Jesus.

Okay.

Okay, and chicken, and then did you say fish?

- Yeah. - What are you trying to cook?

Chicken and salmon.

I'm gonna have the NA beer.

Oh, salsa and?

It's my secret.

How many secrets do we have these days?

A lot.

I want to talk about a lot of stuff.

Okay.

My relationship with these guys,

it's kept me up many a night and a morning.

It was like a lot of anger and pain.

I wanted to talk to you guys

because, you know, after Vegas I was like,

"I think I'm a little outta control

and I don't know what is going on internally,"

and if anybody can give help, guidance, support,

or harsh correction, it's us right?

And you guys didn't do any of that

and that hurt more than you'll ever know.

Yeah, I mean, look.

I hear you and that's fair,

but the [beep] that you did in Vegas,

you chose to get so [beep] up

to put yourself in that position...

And you came back and you like doubled down

in Charleston. - That was after

no one would talk to me.

Don't you understand? This is friendship, man.

Like, Austen, I used to talk to you

two, three times a day about whatever.

And Craig, come on. We've known each other for 10 years.

Right, but you affected my work, right?

You sucked me in- - You're you and I'm me.

I've never shut the door on Shep until BravoCon.

He had come in and I instantly saw

that he was just a blacked-out mess.

I'm a business owner.

I can't be associated with Shep's unhealthy behavior.

You gotta be kidding me.

The litany of things that Craig has pulled over the years

is quite extensive.

We were just a little worried about you, man. You know?

Well, yeah, I won't sleep for three days

and then I sleep for, you know,

20 hours. - That's really bad.

- You said I'm taking the van. - Craig. Craig.

I'm taking a van to the house.

I don't wanna get on a plane.

I'm taking a plane. - Shut up.

Are you drunk?

What was that, Chelsea?

Just stop. Please?

Move on with your [beep] life.

He just took four shots.

Move on with your [beep] life.

For Craig to play the victim because of my actions

doesn't really hit home for me.

Shep, dude. Okay.

I mean, I didn't know if you were being like real

or if this was just like-

No.

- You wanted to make yourself- - I was on the ropes.

Okay, but at that moment I made a choice.

I was like, "You need to set a [beep] boundary right now

if this is gonna be Shep's behavior."

I just didn't know I was such a pariah.

I mean, this is all news to me, man.

It just sounds to me like you just don't see relationships

the way I do.

Like you're willing- - No, I think you [beep] up

and you needed to never do that again.

And like, I've heard about some bad nights you've had

since New York. - I have.

It hasn't been perfect. - Okay, so what do you think?

I'm a masochist? And I'm gonna keep sticking around?

You never stuck around.

That's the point. - For years I did until-

What are you talking about?

Craig, I'm not a charity case.

Well, you're asking me

to treat you like one. - No, I'm not.

I'm asking for you to talk to me

and maybe be a part some of your journey.

I mean, that's it. - Yeah. I mean-

It's so easy, Craig. You know?

That was a choice I made because I was

focusing on myself.

In the past year, I haven't been drinking

and it changed everything for me.

I'm happier and healthier

and my relationship is so much better.

I am where I am because I started

to make the choice for my future self

instead of my immediate self.

Yeah, and you were a huge part of that, chicken.

Probably the biggest part, I would say.

Sometimes you need to take a step back from people.

- Yeah. - That's all.

Well, I think it's just communication.

Even if that lunch was, "This is how we feel

and we we're gonna take a step back,"

that would've been something- - You know what?

- That I would've used. - You're right.

Instead of just ghosting you.

- Yeah. - You're not wrong.

With Shep, sometimes I'm like,

"You are a son of a bitch, and good [beep] riddance."

Because what you don't see

is that I take him out of the clutches

of a cop on King Street, but at the same time,

I don't completely agree with the way

that Craig can set boundaries,

which is just like a hard cutoff.

Because at the end of the day, I [beep] love the guy.

Let's reset.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Let me- - I just broke your chair.

I know, I heard it break.

Again?

I don't know what's up with me and chairs.

Oh, no.

Coming up.

Well, I texted you. I think you-

Did you?

I think you blocked me.

What time's the horse race tomorrow?

Noon.

I'll handle dinner.

Chicken's behind you.

Craig, what do you need from us?

- Nothing. - I'd love to help you.

It's okay, boys. Go have fun.

Shep, let's go in another room.

We'll let Martha make us some food.

Something's burning.

Okay.

Spent a lot of time around this fire.

And I'm definitely interested

to hear what your journey's been

and about your ayahuasca trip.

For sure. It was crazy.

Where the [beep]?

Where was I just looking.

Oh [beep].

Oh.

Well this is gonna be raw,

but I had a vision of you and your sister.

I had an older sister and she passed away.

- What? - Yeah.

When I was seven, she was 10.

Look, I was so angry with you.

Like, I couldn't believe that you would ever ignore me

especially after the whole thing with Taylor.

Have you ever kissed?

No.

What are you asking me?

If y'all hooked up, would you tell me?

We kissed.

I was just so angry and hurt.

But then the situation with your sister,

it was so emotional, but also so raw and painful, I'm sure.

And then a bunch of empathy and tears

started flowing outta me for you

because that's just so unimaginable to me.

Yeah.

It certainly was like the dark ages

of the Kroll family for sure.

And when it came to the Taylor thing,

I thought maybe there was just like an emotional disconnect

and it was maybe a small amount born out of those years.

And that's why I just forgave you on the spot.

Yeah, my therapist brings it up all the time.

She'll connect dots back to certain traumas in my life.

When Shep went on the Ayahuasca trip,

I was like, what if he comes back and he's like,

"Dude, you're aura towards me is all off."

Like, I was worried. I'm not gonna lie.

So to hear that he had a vision about me

that was meaningful and positive

was like a sigh of relief.

I had a vision of Taylor too.

I took her into my nest...

On Isle of Palms,

and I fed her and nourished her

and I wanted her to become this majestic bird.

But instead of being a bird

that flew out of the nest and soared the skies,

she kept flying into windows and hurting her neck.

Bam, bam, bam.

Dude, I had a bird in my house, literally,

that was flying in the windows exactly like you said.

These two are [beep] so dumb.

Oh [beep]. Sorry, Molly.

I shoulda right here.

I'm like- - I just flat tired you.

- You're like all over me. - I'm just trying

to stay warm now.

I know. It's warming up a little bit.

I have my little jacket on.

- Where's Willy Wonka? - Yeah.

- Oh. - Oh, JT.

Oh my god.

- We got the coolers! - Oh my god.

- Grampy. - Hi.

- Are you okay? - I'm okay.

Hi.

Oh.

Should I help you down?

No. Gimme your...

I don't trust your biceps.

Me and Taylor, our relationship now is fine.

I mean, I think a true simp move

would be to sort of distance myself

or be cold because I didn't get what I wanted.

Yeah, I love you.

I think I just still need some time

to like process and heal and move forward.

It's just...

It's awkward.

It's not awkward at all.

I'm just not an awkward person when it comes to that stuff.

But I'm always gonna be rooting for her

from the the friend zone.

Are you ready, Lady Aspen?

I know, I feel like

we need to be in an episode of "Bridgerton."

Yeah, totally. "Downton Abbey?"

Well, these girls just look fabulous.

- Wow. - Hi.

How are you? - Wow.

- How are you? - Good day to you.

- Mwah. - Mwah.

Hi, beautiful.

- I love you in that. - You look beautiful.

Hi. How are you?

Good. I love you.

How are you? - You look so cute!

You look like you're outta "The Notebook."

Oh, I love that.

All right, ladies, go in.

Wow, very nice.

Oh, it is nice.

Okay.

- Ooh. - Oh yeah.

I'm glad we're all here.

Let's go to this race. It's gonna be a great day.

Does anyone want a drink?

Let's get it popping.

Molly, you're gonna do the honors.

Oh God. I'm gonna put someone's eye out.

Towards his leg.

Squeeze.

So you and Venita

both grew up in Charleston, right?

Yeah, I'm from here.

I don't know how you don't know her better.

We've rolled in the same circles

for years. - I don't drink

as much as I used to.

Do you think Patricia's riding down these roads?

Is Whitney and Patricia coming?

- Yeah. - Cool.

How's Gaston?

- He's good. - Good.

He's flying down to Hilton Head-

- Oh really? - Just for the day.

Gaston is my better half.

We started hanging out last summer

and I love that he listens to me

and he respects me as like a human

and not just a pretty girl.

Not to like toot my own horn.

JT, are you okay?

I have to stop. I'm not gonna make it.

Can we stop?

- He's gonna pee his pants. - He's gonna pee his pants.

Do we have a urinal?

Is this where all the hot truckers are?

Now we're cooking.

This is a look.

You look like your name is Chet

and your dad is a real asshole.

I don't want to be Chet.

Oh, very nice. - Oh my god.

You look good!

You look like you own a horse team.

Awesome.

- Have you seen JT? - No.

Yeah. Where is JT?

- What the hell is he- - Oh!

He bought the rest of the canes?

He's a cane influencer?

- Cane influencer. - Cane influencer?

What up, Cane Daddy?

I just got canes for everybody.

- Aw. - You should start OnlyCanes.

So what I did was I got three really long cans

for the three boys.

I got a cane for Austen

and I'm gonna go up to 'em and say, "Hey,

we're all O-cane.

- We're all O-cane. - Oh!

We're all O-cane, and then the three boys

can have their tall canes

and we can all have our little canes

and then we'll have a little...

All right?

I love watching you make a fool of yourself.

We're all O-cane.

Coming up.

Is that Whitney's dad?

Yeah, it is.

Mmm.

One minute he's like, "You should have my baby."

And the next minute he's out with like a 22-year-old.

♪ He's got money

♪ He's in magazines

♪ He's got more honeys than any honeybee ♪

♪ Woo

All right.

Hey. - Hey.

It looks so good.

Y'all got a good spot.

Look at the strawberry tree.

- Oh wow. - I know.

Thank you, Erica. Beautiful.

Oh good.

It looks really nice. Looks like a good party.

Well, you know the party's gonna get here very soon

and then this peace and quiet's gonna be gone.

I love that we got here before it gets too crazy.

Let's have a good day.

Let's have a great day.

Hello?

- Hey, pretty woman. - Hello.

This looks lovely.

Polka dot. Madison. - I know.

It was on the invite.

- How are you? - Hi.

- You look lovely. - Sorry I can't really hug.

- And this looks lovely. - Thank you.

Brett, what's going on, man? Good to see you.

You look sharp.

- Hey. - Hey.

Have you ever been to the cup like this?

- Not like this. - I know.

I don't wanna get makeup on you.

I've never seen a horse at the cup.

- Good to see you. - How's it going?

Do you mind if I get topped off?

How are you two?

- Me and Shep? - Mm-hmm.

I dunno.

You are just so rude.

I can't believe you can recognize rudeness.

It's amazing.

Let me drink about a bottle of this and I'll let you know,

but actually pretty good.

Hmm.

What a plot twist it would be if we became best friends.

That's like me and JT becoming best friends.

It could happen.

No.

Well, don't start making fun of his cane

and all that stuff.

I'm not.

I'm not gonna make fun of someone's [beep] injuries.

You know? Unless he, you know...

Unless he provokes me and then-

What if he takes the cane and he's like...

Boom.

- And hits me with it? - I mean, I don't know.

He did headbutt you, so don't put it past him.

I would actually murder him,

I think.

So you haven't seen Austen?

No.

Who's his girl.

Is he bringing her today?

- She's great. - I don't think so.

- She's really great. - What's her name?

Audrey.

- Are they actually dating? - Dating?

Yes.

We went down the Hilton head with Austen and Audrey.

She's in Charlotte.

This was like last summer and-

Last summer he's been dating her?

- Yeah. - Oh.

So they've been dating for a long time.

They've been dating for that long?

Something's not adding up.

What's the timeline? - I met a whole bunch of girls

who say they dated Austen.

What's the timeline?

And it was not...

It was during all that time.

- Uh-oh. - Sure does stink.

Are you saying that my exorcism did not work?

Hearing that Austen's still doing his dirty-ass

in his new relationship,

I want to shake him and be like,

"If you want to [beep] around, just be upfront about it."

And with Austen, I feel like honesty

is just strictly an impossibility.

I looked up, there's only like two tracks in the all US

that don't do gambling and this is one of them.

How do they make money here if they can't take bets?

The tickets.

- Rocket science. - I mean...

I mean, I'm gonna need y'all to hurry the [beep] up.

Thank you!

- Oh my god. - What are you doing?

Let's go!

Oh [beep].

Ooh.

Let's get organized here.

Oh!

I know. Welcome.

Just gotta hold it down.

This is beautiful, Madison.

- Yeah. Thank you. - Is that a tree

made of strawberries?

- Yes. - That's adorable.

- Hello, darling. - Oh, look at you.

Your little polka-dot pants. - Yeah, I know.

- You look cute. - How are you?

- Good. Good to see you. - Good to see you.

- Hi. How you doing? - Yes.

Can I do a champagne please?

- Hello. - How are you?

- I'm good, how are you? - I like your polka dots.

Thank you.

Molly O'Connell. How are you, darling?

- I'm good. How are you? - I'm good.

- Hi, how are you? - How are you?

- I'm good. It's been forever. - I know.

Molly and I only knew each other online.

We used to sext each other.

We never hooked up in person or anything,

but it doesn't feel weird.

It's all in the past.

Paige thinks it's so funny.

Hi guys.

Hey. You look nice.

Thanks. How are you guys?

Very nice. What's this?

Well, JT's brought canes for everyone.

Oh.

Dude, look at him walking.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Every time I look at him, I'm like, "Is he okay?"

- What's up, handsome kings? - What's up buddy?

You look great.

Let's not mess around. Let's get it over with.

Here we go.

Oh God.

Dude, are you good?

Dude, look at him walking.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Every time I look at him,

I'm like, "Is he okay?"

What's up, handsome kings?

What's up buddy? You look great.

Let's not mess around. Let's get it over with.

Here we go.

Oh God.

Dude, are you good?

I got something for you.

Really?

What?

After my near-death experience, I was

thinking about you.

Okay.

I think I was a little harsh on you during the exorcism.

But I'm happy as hell for you that you got a girlfriend now.

So I got something for you.

All right.

You're not gonna beat me with this?

Ah.

I'm not fighting with you.

Okay.

This is your cane 'cause you've turned over a new leaf.

- Wow. - All right?

Water under the Costa Rican bridge.

Look at this.

It's [beep] weird. He's a [beep] weirdo.

Have a great day and make some money at the stables.

Okay.

All right, dogs.

Where's Shep?

What do you say to that? You know?

Good stuff.

Yeah, it was like 2005 or something [indistinct].

Shut up!

Big mistake. Huge.

Okay, next race.

I'm in a Seal music video.

Alright. Here they come.

- Where we at? - Hey!

Woo!

My guy is sexy.

Woo!

- Thank you, baby. - My jockey is sexy.

Oh, oh, oh.

Wait, is it over now?

- Oh, are they going? - Yeah, let's go back.

Are you laughing at my hat?

- Yes. - Oh gosh.

She got a Picnic Birkin?

That Birkin is 50 grand.

Who does Pat have with her?

Is that Whitney's date?

Yeah, it is.

Mmm. I need a drink.

- Hi, I'm Madison. - Nice to meet you.

I'm Taylor. - Nice to meet you.

Thanks for coming.

Hey, baby. How you doing tonight?

- Good. You look great. - You've been working out.

Is it a walking stick or what the hell?

JT gave 'em to everyone.

Have a look at that.

We look ridiculous.

- Mwah. - Mwah.

Hey, you look great.

Oh, [beep].

- Almost glamorous. - Hello. How are you?

Mwah. I love your ensemble.

Thanks.

- Very nice. - Oh God.

Come with me to the bar.

Okay. Let's go.

- Yeah, let's do that. - Do, do, do, do, do, do.

This is the best spot.

Is this your date, Whitney?

Yeah.

I had no idea he was bringing someone,

but I mean, I don't really message him

and ask him about every single thing that he does, so.

Excuse me.

One minute, he's like, "You should have my babies,"

and the next minute he's out with like a 22-year-old.

Maybe they're dating, but...

She seems very nice,

but also kind of like tired and like low energy.

Maybe she needs some OJ, some blood sugar.

Are there any areas to like pet horses?

No.

Like, there's no mini ponies?

- No. - Damn.

I thought you said hey to Taylor.

I haven't.

Should I go over there?

I don't know. I mean, have you said hey to anybody?

Yeah, just don't be weird.

- Hello. - How are you?

- How are you? - Good to see you.

Good to see you.

It's been a little while. - Nice little rose.

I know. It's a double entendre.

Yeah.

They're talking.

I didn't know roses and thorns

talked to each other.

Yeah, I haven't seen you since December.

I know.

I thought we might run into each other

somewhere around town, but no.

I texted you that I don't...

I think you- - Did you?

I think you blocked me.

Maybe I did.

- Maybe you did. - Sorry.

Okay.

Yes, I blocked Shep.

- It was a nice text. - Sorry.

- Maybe you can read it. - I really don't-

- It's okay. - Okay.

It's okay.

I don't need to have him in my life

on my text messages day in and day out,

sending memes or, "Hey, I'm hanging out with our friends,

our mutual friends."

So...

Good.

Okay.

- Good to see you. - Good to see you.

I am in a new relationship.

I am gonna respect those boundaries.

Just leave us alone, please.

Coming up.

Hey, is that Ms. Pat?

I brought this cane for you.

Let's go.

If I find one more cane...

Thanks, Madison.

How long are we gonna milk this cane thing?

Let me email God real quick. Let me ask him.

You happy I didn't die?

I mean, I don't think that was gonna take you out.

- No, not us. - No.

Is that a raspberry macaroon?

Don't touch it.

Oh, hell yeah.

- I'm a macaroon whore. - Oh my God.

These are done well and they're fresh.

You wanna have a seat?

Oh, Ryan's here?

- Come over here, you guys. - How are you?

Madison, this is lovely.

Oh, thank you.

I think this is your color.

- Hey Patricia. How are you? - Hey there.

I love your hat. Oh my gosh.

This is amazing.

I'm so happy the weather was perfect for you.

- You look beautiful. - Thank you. So do you.

Thank you.

- Y'all have a seat. - Yeah. Let's do it.

- I needed a hat. - Hey Pat. How you doing?

- How are you, darling? - Mwah.

Wait, is that Ms. Pat?

- Yes. - Yeah.

Oh damn.

Wobble over.

Hi, Ms. Pat.

I brought this cane for you.

- I don't need a cane. - I know. Just for looks.

Like, what the are you doing?

Thank you.

I am genuinely offended.

What's next? A wheelchair?

You don't give a woman past a certain age a cane.

Even if it's bedazzled with jewels from Harry Winston.

I don't know what in the hell he's thinking.

It's kind of a stupid gift in my estimation.

I wish JT would have talked to me first,

like he does with almost everything else.

He'll learn his lesson.

You wanna scoot in next to her?

- Sure. - Okay.

- Let's go. - Look at you!

Just hop right...

Let's go.

She turned my cane down. That's savage.

I felt like saying take this cane and shove it.

You know, I'm not a mind reader,

but there's some coldness in the air.

I think maybe we're missing the point here a little bit.

Should we amble over and look at the car?

Mom? She wants to get the hell outta here.

She's probably hot.

But here's the thing about the south.

Everyone can be huggy, lovey, kissy, cheeky,

but there is the surface

and then there's the layers beneath.

It looks safe, but it's not safe.

It's like a...

A charade.

Craig, you lied and you offended Miss Patricia.

I didn't say that word about her.

Yeah, you did.

You said she was a bitch at the cup

when you handed her the cane. - Craig, you're lying.

It was loud and clear.

- What you said blamed us. - No, I didn't say

what you said.

I swear to God I'm gonna hit him.

Well then [beep] answer this.

I did last night and I got handily shut down.

Did you say the word affair?

You just sat there as quiet as a church mouse.

Don't you dare compare the two.

Big, deep breaths.

♪ It's easy as the birds and the bees ♪

♪ And the one, two, threes

you guys, man.

♪ Mmm-Hm