All language subtitles for Queer.as.Folk.US.S04E09.Have.Some.Balls.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- * one, two, three,
Four, five six *

* shake it, dude

*

* cue the pulse to begin

*

* cue the pulse to begin

*

* cue the pulse to begin

* cue the pulse to begin

- [groans]

- isn't this fun?

- maybe for you, but that's
Because you're a sadistic shit!

- who? Me?

- I'll never tell you
Where the jewels are!

- make that "Jewel."

Now lie still.

Who knows?
If you're lucky,

You might even get
A few more good years,

Like me!
[cackles]

- [screams]

- mr. Kinney?
Mr. Kinney?

That's it for today,
Mr. Kinney.

We'll see you again tomorrow.

And I should warn you,

You'll feel fine
For the next few hours,

But you're gonna hit a wall
Around noon--

Nausea, pain, fatigue.

They're all normal
Side effects.

In fact, I would suggest
That for the next few days,

You just stay home,
Take it easy.

Don't go to work.

- huh.
Thank you, nurse.

That's excellent advice.

- first thing we do
When we get to hollywood

Is go to universal studios.

The rides sound awesome.

And then we do
The grave line tour.

It takes you to all the places
Where stars have been murdered.

And then--
- then we go

To grauman's chinese theatre,

And we steal
John wayne's footprints.

Lucy?

I love lucy?

They went to hollywood
And--never mind.

Could you save me some cereal?

- aren't you being
A bit premature?

- why?
We're going, aren't we?

You said brett
Told you it was a done deal.

- that's mr. Keller to you.

And nothing's a done deal
Until it's done.

- I'm done.

- busy day?

- oh, classes,
Research at the library,

Student-advisor meetings.

I'm also supposed to hear
From greenpoint press.

- are they interested
In your novel?

- hmm, let's just say the editor
Seemed receptive,

Which at least is better
Than another rejection.

So keep your fingers crossed.

- he should try to eat
Some grain in the morning

Instead of those crappy shakes.

He'd be a lot happier,
Not to mention regular.

- I think it's going to take
More than a bowl of bran.

And you could try and be
A little more sensitive.

- huh?
- "Huh?"

Ben is going through
A tough time right now.

I'm sure all this talk
Isn't making it any easier.

So, from now on,
Let's try not to use

The word "Hollywood"
In a sentence.

- what the fuck
Are you doing here?

- I'm waiting for you.

You won't answer the door.
You won't return my calls.

- well, that should be a hint.
- why won't you see me?

- cynthia!
Cynthia!

- jesus, brian,
What's going on?

- you can't just kick me out.

- watch me.
I don't want his calls.

I don't want him in this office,
And if he comes near me,

I want a restraining order.
Got it?

And if some asshole named
Vic grassi calls from hell,

You can tell him
I'm in a meeting.

- well, vic,
It's not quite the headstone

I'd originally intended.

- but as you may have heard,

Michelangelo's not taking
Any more commissions.

- but it's solid.

It's hard, smooth.

Come to think of it,

That's a lot of the attributes
You liked in a man.

[both laugh]

- whoever invents a cell
Phone that's also a vibrator

Is going to make a fortune.

Excuse me, deb.

- yeah.
Don't worry, honey.

- hello?
- vic's in no hurry.

- oh, hey...
- so I'll plant flowers

This spring
And make it more homey, okay?

And, um...

Vic, I just want to say,

Wherever you are...

Of course I know where you are.
You're in heaven.

Where the hell
Else would you be?

That, um, in spite
Of our little falling out,

Not--not that
It was so little--

It nearly put me
In the ground beside you--

That I love you...

With all my heart.

You know that, baby,
Don't you?

- arrested?

- and that I hope that you've
Forgiven me for what I did.

- what did you do?

D.U.I.?

Well, who's going to help me
Cater the party tonight?

- and all because
Of this silly party.

- no, I will not recommend
An attorney,

Unless you recommend a chef.

- rest in peace,
Little brother.

- rot in hell,
You little fucker.

Oh, vic, vic,
Why'd you have to die?

- I know, honey.

I know,
But he's in a better place.

- it's a warm
And wonderful place,

Filled with love
And possibilities.

- you'll have
To forgive my wife.

She tends to wax poetic

In direct proportion
To the size of my tummy.

- oh, come on,
You've done your fair share

Of waxing yourself.
- I've never once waxed.

And even if I did,
Our paltry expressions

Would pale in comparison
To michael's rhapsodizing.

- [scoffs]
- holy shit!

Would you check out
The dick on this kid?

- or not.
- that's the umbilical cord.

- and besides, you can't tell
From this if it's a boy or girl,

Although something tells me
A princess is on the way.

- well, it's okay with me
If he's gay.

- I got to run.
[smooches]

We're installing
The auerbach show.

- don't forget lamaze.

- jesus.
You think we could move it?

- hey, why don't I go?

Both: you?

- is it a class
For lesbian mothers?

I won't shave my legs.

No one will notice.

- [laughs]
No, of course not.

- good. Then it'll serve
As a gentle reminder

That until someone comes up
With a better plan,

You still need a man
For some things.

Hey, where have you been?

I need those panels so I can
Come up with some dialogue

For the evil anal probers.

- how about, "Up your ass"?

- sounds about right.

Hey.

Hey!
What's with you?

- what do you think?

You told him that we knew,
Didn't you?

- look, I-I didn't meant to.

It just--
- what, slipped out?

"We know you have cancer."

That is the fucking lamest
Excuse I've ever heard.

You're the one who said
That we should be strong

And honor his wishes.
- I'm sorry.

- do you have any idea
How hard that's been?

Why are you sorry?

Did he kick you out?

Did he say he never wanted
To see you again?

Well, if that's
The way he wants it,

I'll be glad to honor
Those wishes too.

- there you go.
- okay, thank you.

- professor bruckner.

- that's me.

- I'm sure
You don't remember me.

I was in your 110 seminar
Last year.

- there were so many students
In that seminar.

- anthony flynn.

- I hope you enjoyed it.

- [chuckles]
It was great.

In fact, I even went out
And bought your book, ru12.

- oh.
Did you read it?

- a few times, actually.

I loved it.

So well written.

You know, I agree with what
The critics said on the jacket.

- oh. Send them a free copy,
They'll say anything.

- no, I'd--I'd really like to
Talk to you about it some time.

You see, I'm a writer too--
Well, trying to be.

- as much
As I'd like that, anthony,

It's, uh, my policy not to
Fraternize with my students.

- even former ones?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put
You in an awkward position.

- no, it's okay.

- it's just that your book
Really spoke to me...

As a gay man, I mean.

By the time I'd finished it,

I felt I'd discovered things
About myself I'd never known.

- thank you.

Flynn.

Yeah, you used to sit
About halfway back,

Way over on the right by
The window with the fire escape.

- [chuckles]
That's me.

- it's a simple
But elegant menu--

Lobster, filet mignon, salad,

And, of course, dessert.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.
No, sure. I understand.

Well, that was
The last possibility.

- ah, poor em.

I keep forgetting how important
Vic was to you too, honey.

Without him,
Your business is fucked, huh?

But never fear,
'cause help is here.

- where?
- you're looking at it.

I'll cancel my shift tonight.
I'll lend you a hand.

- oh, thanks, but, uh,
I need more than a hand.

I need an entire body,

Preferably one belonging
To a chef.

- what's the matter
With my cooking?

- don't take this the wrong way,
But not everything is covered

In marinara sauce.

- fine.

- the october detective?

- hmm.
It's one in a series.

- of 12?

- how did you guess?

- when it comes to clues,
I'm quick.

For instance,
I've, uh, never known you

To read detective novels.

- so?

- so I would surmise, using my
Brilliant powers of deduction,

That it has something to do
With one lieutenant horvath.

- sorry, sherlock.

Carl came here
Strictly as a friend,

And there's nothing between us.

- the look in his eyes
Said otherwise.

- what do you know
About the look in a man's--

Never mind.
I take it back.

- stop living in a book

And start living your life.

Mmm, god, this chocolate mousse
Is scrumptious.

Perhaps I underestimated
Your culinary skills.

- my chocolate mousse
Is covered in marinara sauce.

This is from
That sweet kid darren--

You know,
The one who got bashed.

I sent him food every day
From the diner,

And now he sends
Me goodies back--

Kind of like a thank-you.

And he does it all himself.

I tell you, he can dance.
He can cook.

He's a knockout in a dress.

He'll be a real catch
For some lucky guy.

[door closes]
Em?

Em?

Where the fuck he go?

- brian?

Brian?

Jesus christ, what's wrong?

- nothing.

I'm fine.
Why do you ask?

- well, for one thing,
You look like shit.

- thank you.

- okay, look, now, this is the
Second time this has happened.

- fucking accountants--

Do you have to keep a record
Of everything?

- I just want you to know
That you can trust me,

As a friend and as someone
Who has been through it all.

I mean, there is nothing
I haven't seen or done,

Which is why I don't presume
To judge anyone.

But there's one thing I know--

The first and hardest step
You'll ever have to take...

Is admitting
You have a problem.

And once you've done that,
You're on the road to recovery--

- it's the big "C," ted.
[scoffs]

- cocaine?
- [laughs]

It's bigger.

- crystal?

- bigger.

- caffeine?

- it's cancer, theodore.

- c-c-c-c--

- yeah.

But relax.

They got it.

I'm in radiation.

Started this morning.

Would you excuse me
For a moment?

[vomits]

[spits, coughs]

- I can't tell you
How relieved I am.

- I mean, that--

That you're gonna
Be all right.

- thank you.

- is there anything I can do?

- yeah, as a matter of fact,

You can do three things.

First...
[scoffs]

You keep your big mouth shut,

Or you're fired.

- sealing. Sealing.
Second?

- I want you to cover
For me this afternoon

With dandy lube.

- wait.
Cover f-for you?

- make the presentation.

- but I--
- look, if you could pretend

That you were pavarotti

At that pathetic pasta palace,

You can do this.

- [sniffs]
What's the third?

- call me a cab.

I'm going home.

- and the part where all your
Friends were turning positive--

- how about over there?
- uh, fine.

- but you still
Hadn't been infected.

- yeah, I remember feeling
Terrified that I'd be next.

But at the same time,

Feeling like I just wanted
To get it over with.

- then when you converted,
It--it put you

In a whole
Different place.

- spiritually, emotionally,
Politically.

- you know, I have to tell you,
It was very moving.

- anthony, may I ask you
A personal question?

- I feel like I already know
So much about you,

It's only fair.

- are you positive?

- no.

But your book still spoke to me.

And isn't that the measure
Of any great book...

- [scoffs]
- that it speaks to everyone?

- oh, I don't know about that.

I mean, about it being
A great book, but thanks.

- so the question is,
When's the next one coming out?

- mm, that is the question.

Just finished a novel
About two men,

Set in paris in the '30s.

- sounds great.
- mm-hmm.

There are
A couple dozen publishers

Who don't agree with you.

They've all turned it down.

- well, I'd love to read it...

If you'd let me.
- I don't know.

- hey,
I'm an english-lit major,

A budding young writer,
And I work in a library.

Oh, and I got an "A"
In your course.

That should qualify me to know

A little something
About good writing.

- at the risk
Of losing a fan...

- or gaining
An even bigger one.

[chuckles]

- * I'd be the "Man"
In mankind *

* and the universal he

* every door
That once was shut *

* would open for me

* if I were a man

* if I were a man, I'd like
To meet somebody like me *

* if I were a man, I'd like
To meet somebody like me *

- bravo!
[laughs]

I mean, brava!

I'm, um, emmett honeycutt.

I live with debbie novotny.

We met at the "So what
If it's not christmas?

We're having a christmas party
Anyway" party.

- right.

- you are fabulous.

I just love the routines,
The gowns...

The chocolate mousse.

- excuse me?

- I'm a party planner.

Debbie's brother, vic, uh, was
My chef before he passed away.

He's gone now,
But our business isn't.

And if anyone knows the show
Must go on, it's you, so...

- you want shanda leer
To perform at a party?

No, I want darren
To cook for a party.

- but, uh...

[whispering]
I'm not a chef.

- well, you do a fabulous
Impersonation of that too.

I mean, those delicacies

You've been sending over
To deb's are to die for.

No offense, vic.

- I'd love to help you out,
But shanda's making a comeback.

[exhales sharply]
God, I hate that word.

It's a...Return.

There's just no time.

- well, you can't blame
A girl for trying.

Good luck.
Uh, break a leg.

- * if I were a man

- damn.

- didn't mean it literally.

- look at this.
Ruined.

Do you know how much these satin
Pumps in a size 11 1/2 cost?

Not to mention
The new gowns and the hair.

Shanda may be a star,

But she's going to drive me
To the poorhouse.

- honey, let's review.

You need dough,

And I need someone to stuff it

With spinach
And porcini mushrooms.

[bell jingles]
- mail's here.

- since when do I get
Special delivery?

- since this arrived
From that place

I'm not supposed
To use in a sentence.

- it's from brett.
- you mean mr. Keller?

Stop staring and open
The goddamn letter already.

Well?

- it's two checks--
One made out to justin,

One made out to me,
Each for $10,000.

- $10,000--oh, my god!

[both cheer]

We're rich!

- not quite.
- but we will be.

- just imagine,
Rage on the silver screen,

Big-budget special effects.

- millions in
Fast-food-merchandising tie-ins.

- tom cruise pumping away
In hot, superhero man-sex.

- careful.
He'll sue your ass.

- can't sue someone
For dreaming.

- speaking of dreams,
This came too.

It's from greenpoint press.

- well, you can't open
Someone else's mail.

It's a federal offense.

- I can see it now.

I'm on death row,
Awaiting lethal injection.

This mass murderer who killed
48 babies and ate them

Asks me
What I'm being executed for.

I say, "Opening ben's letter."

- still, it's not ethical.

- ethical, shmethical.

Oops.
Too late.

Should I seal it back up?

- well, I suppose
Since it's already open...

- that's what I like--
A man with values.

- well?

- they think it sucks.
- shit.

Shit.

Ben's going to be so upset.
- not if he never gets it.

- give me that.

- mm.

- am I interrupting?

- just about
To devour my manwich.

- in my neighborhood,
That's three guys fucking.

- come on in.
Have a seat.

How you doing?

- better...

Thanks in no small part
To you.

- I'm glad to hear it.

- I'm--I'm sorry
You're finishing lunch,

'cause I was gonna take you up
On your offer--

You know, step out,
Have a bite.

But I have to warn you, carl,
I haven't changed much.

I still got a big mouth,
And I still speak my mind,

And I'm still as stubborn
As a prom-week pimple.

[both laugh]

But if that's still okay with
You, then how about dinner?

- debbie--
- I've been having these dreams

About lobster lately.

I'm adrift on this sea
Of melted butter and--

- debbie.
- what?

- I've been seeing someone.

- oh.

- couple of months now.

Her name's katharine.

- well, that's good news.

- see, when I asked you
If you wanted to get a bite,

It was as friends.

I hope I didn't give you
The wrong--

- oh, no, no,
Not at all.

Katharine...

I had an aunt named katharine.
She was a great lady.

She was named
After katharine hepburn--

Another great lady.

Well, I'm very happy
For you, carl.

I truly am.

- the difference between
Our lube and their lube

Is our lube says...

"Sex."

If you, uh...

[clears throat]
If you want to be cool,

If you want to be popular,

If you want to get laid,
This is the lube you use...

On your car, I mean.

- I fail to see
How getting an oil change

Or having your tires rotated
Can improve your sex life.

- well, see,
That's where you're wrong.

- I'm wrong?

- not--not wrong.
I mean, uh, just not right.

- what he means
Is that with a sexier,

More playful new image,

You can expand dandy lube's
Share of the market.

- yeah, that--that's it.

That's--
What she said.

- by suggesting
We have half-naked muscle boys

Offering lube-jobs in a,
Uh, clothing-optional garage?

- by appealing to women
And gay men.

- that's
An interesting point, dad.

Gays are an important
Demographic these days.

- well, we're meeting
With vangard this afternoon.

I'm sure they'll have a more,
Uh, straightforward approach.

Coming, doug?

- could you direct me
To the men's room?

- it's down the hall
To your left.

That'd be your cue.
- my cue?

- to nail the account.

- oh, no, I couldn't.
I mean--

Well, what makes you think
That he--

Suppose he's not, and I--
- well, it never stopped brian.

Make him proud.

- [sighs]

- your presentation
Was very...

Interesting.

- [scoffs]

Your father
Didn't seem to think so.

- dad just hears
The initial pitches, and...

Then it's up to me
To follow through.

So do you have anything else
You'd like to show me?

- yeah.

This.

- perfect timing.

Your drawings have just
Come back from the framer's.

Don't you like it?

- I already know
What my stuff looks like.

I'm far more interested

In seeing something
That isn't mine.

- oh, that's nothing.

Just a minor piece
By an unknown artist.

- peterson.
"Figure study."

- sam, sam. Wait.

I-I'm not sure
You're going to like it.

I'm not even sure I like it.

- then why'd you have it framed?

- good question.
[breathing heavily]

- something wrong?

- no.
Nothing.

Why do you ask?
- you're hyperventilating.

- [breathing heavily]

- you better sit down.

Wouldn't want you to do
Something girlie, like faint.

- easy for you to say.

Sam auerbach isn't about
To evaluate your work.

- ho-ly shit!

- I knew you wouldn't like it.
- no.

- don't look.
- would you sit down

And shut up?

You flatter me, my dear...

By at least a couple inches.

- what about the rest of you?
- doesn't look like me.

- that's what gertrude stein
Said to picasso

About her portrait.

You know what he said?
- hmm.

- it will.
[both laugh]

It's good.
It's really good.

If I weren't me,
I'd be jealous.

- you were the inspiration.

- you know, if you weren't
A fucking dyke,

I'd ask you to marry me.

- oh, is that how it works?
- yeah.

- you propose to any woman
Who flatters you?

- generally speaking
And with disastrous results.

- well, if I weren't already
Married, I might just accept.

- brian.

Brian!

Brian?

Jesus, what happened to you?

- chernobyl.

- christ, you should be in bed.

- well, I was, but...

Someone kept knock, knock,
Knocking at my fucking door.

What are you doing?
- I'm making some chicken soup.

There's nothing in here
But beer and poppers.

- all the essentials.

- well, we're going to have
To stock up on groceries.

- michael.
- as long as I'm here,

I can do your laundry.
- michael!

This is exactly why
I did not want anyone to know.

It's why I told everyone
I went to ibiza,

In the hopes that I wouldn't
Be treated like an invalid

Or a victim
Or like I was gonna die.

Now, would you get out of here?

What don't you understand
About "Fuck off"?

- you think you can kick me out
Of here the way you did justin?

And for what--trying not
To let on that he knew,

Because that's the way
You wanted it?

He deserves to know.
He's your lover...

Your partner, whether you want
To admit it or not.

And sick or not, that's a
Fucking shitty way to treat him.

- I was only trying
To make it easier.

- by never seeing him again?

- he would've left
Sooner or later anyway.

Might as well be sooner.
- what are you talking--

- would you just
Go home, michael?

Go home to your wife
And your kid!

[indistinct chatter]

- have I told you
How much I love you?

- not for at least ten minutes.

- then I'd better remind you.

- excuse me.

What a fool I've been.

All those sunday afternoons
Going to tea dances at woody's,

When I could've been going
To football games instead.

- those iron men
Are delectable.

- almost as delectable
As your cherries jubilee.

- we're about to make
The announcement!

- here we go.

[humming tune]

- can we have
Your attention, everyone?

Drew and I have
An announcement to make.

- as you all know,
There's only one person

Who's better at kicking balls
Than I am, and that's sierra.

[laughter]

So, after threatening to kick
Mine over the goalpost,

I've finally agreed
To marry her.

- we're engaged!

[cheers and applause]

- hey, brother.
- congratulations.

Way to go, man.

- hey, drew, where'd you
Get those caterers?

- looks like a couple
Of flamers to me.

[laughter, indistinct chatter]

- excuse me, mr. Boyd.

I hope I'm not, uh,
Out of place for saying this.

Actually,
I don't give a fuck if I am.

Back in hazelhurst, uh,
Mississippi, where I grew up,

I was always taught
That if a real man

Has something to say
About someone,

He says it to his face,
Not behind his back.

So, even though you may be
A-a star,

You know, captain of the team,
Hero to millions,

You still have a lot to learn
About being a man.

Flaming cherries jubilee?
- oh, thank you.

- it looks like
Someone's opened it.

- really? It must've been
One of the neighbors.

They're always snooping.

- [scoffs]

- they rejected it.
- we know!

I mean, that totally sucks.

- I'm sorry, ben.

- [scoffs]

Well, I guess that's that.

- didn't some famous writer,

Like ernest hemingway
Or stephen king,

Send their book
To 24 publishers

Before someone
Finally accepted it?

- this was the 25th.

- still,
You're a wonderful writer.

And you have a million stories
Inside you,

And that's why I got you
Something to help you tell them.

- what's that?

- it's called a computer.

- you said you needed a new one.

- I didn't realize
You could afford

Something
This extravagant.

- it was me.
I paid for it.

I've been moonlighting--
- shut up.

I got a check today from...

Hollywood.

- so you read my mail,

Figured you'd better do
Something to cheer me up,

And went out
And bought me a computer?

- that's pretty much
The plot in a nutshell.

- well, I don't want your
Consolation prize or your pity.

- ben.

- so, uh...

Does this mean
I get the computer?

- on the house.

- nice to see you
Back on the job.

- as liberty avenue's
Leading fag hag?

- accept no substitutes.

Cosmo, please.

- so how was your party?
Did darren work out?

- kid's got quite a range--

Kitsch to kitchen.

As for me,
It was my usual triumph...

Except for the host--

Some macho asshole,
Plays for the iron men.

Halfback...

Quarterback...

"Thirdback."

- yeah, straight guys--
You can keep 'em.

No, thanks.

Although there
Is a certain detective

I'd hold on to,
If I were you.

- refill, please.

- did you hear what I said?

- just when you hand them
Your heart, they go and...

[pops lips]
Drop-kick it.

- hidden in the football
Metaphor is a secret clue.

Uh...

I suspect to another woman?

- hmm.
Damn, you're good.

It's like oliver marconi
All over again.

He was a sweet boy.

He lived next door to us
When I was growing up.

And he had a huge crush on me.

Of course,
I didn't know he was alive

Until he and his family
Moved away.

I started aching for him.

But it was too late.

It's funny, I-I still hold
A piece of my heart for him...

Same as I do for carl.

- so he's dating.

So what?

It doesn't mean anything.

Hell, dating in this place

Just means you sucked
Some guy's dick

And went out for coffee.

- well, unless there's something
He's not telling me...

This chick ain't got a dick.

And it's more
Than a cup of joe.

He's gone, em.

I lost him.

[rhythmic breathing]

- beautiful.

Good.

Excellent.

Hey.

What about you?

Why aren't you breathing?

- me?

- this is a team effort.

Your rhythm helps maintain
Her rhythm, hmm?

Right.
- mm.

My rhythm?

Who does she think I am--
B.B. King?

- she probably thinks
You're my husband

And we're this cute
Married couple, like them.

- I'd say we're cuter.

- wouldn't she be surprised
To know the truth?

- maybe not.

Maybe she'd just think,

"How sweet," or,
"Isn't that interesting?"

Better yet,
Maybe she wouldn't care at all.

- I think it's amazing,
How far we've come--

You and ben, me and lindsay.

I'd say we're fucking lucky
To have such stable home lives,

Wonderful mates
Whom we love and who love us,

One beautiful child
And another one on the way--

Bright futures all around.

- bright futures all around.

Hey.

I was just at lamaze class
With mel.

- I came for the check.

- oh, right.

I was going to drop it off.

- thanks.

- hey, wait up.

- what for?

- I saw brian last night.

- lucky you.

- he looked like shit.

Felt so bad,
He could hardly get out of bed.

- I'm sorry to hear that,

But it really
Doesn't concern me anymore.

- that's bullshit.

- he fucking kicked me out.

He said he didn't want
To see me again.

- more like he doesn't want you
To see him.

You've read
The kinney operating manual.

He thinks now that he's sick
That he's no longer perfect,

That you won't love him
Anymore,

That you're going
To leave him.

- that's crazy, even for him.

- not if you put all your eggs
In one basket, so to speak.

When--when being young,
Being beautiful,

Being brian kinney
Is what it's all about,

You take that away,
He figures, what's he got?

[footsteps]

- that needs to go over there,

And I think we need
A larger piece for that space.

- hey, kids,
Let's put on a show.

- you want to give me
A hand here?

- what are you doing here?

I didn't want you seeing
Anything until it's finished.

- I'm sure it'll be just ducky.
- "Ducky"?

This may be
Small potatoes to you,

Considering you've had shows

At every major gallery
And museum all over the world,

But to us yokels
Here in pittsburgh,

This is a big deal.
- did I say anything?

- [sighs] I just want
Everything to be perfect...

Do right by you and your work.

- you will, kiddo.
You're world-class.

- I am?

- in fact, it reminds me of
My last retrospective in venice.

- hey, sir.
- got it.

- couldn't find a fucking
Ashtray there either.

Heads up!

Oh.
That was a close call.

- it wasn't that bad.

- then why are you shaking?

- writing?

- preparing a lecture.

- [sighs]
How about I order a pizza?

- uh, not hungry.

- how about you handcuff me
To the bed--

- michael,
Can't you see I'm working?

- yes, now that you mention it,
I can.

I can also see the new computer
I got you, sitting alone,

Ignored, like some geeky guy
At the prom.

- jesus.

- look, I know what
You've been going through.

Believe it or not,

I've had more than my fair share
Of rejections,

Like, by practically every club,
Every college,

Every job
I ever went up for.

- but you're being accepted now.
That's all that counts.

- but I just don't want you
To blame me

Or make me feel like
It's my fault.

- I'm sorry if I did that.

I have no one to credit
For my failure but myself,

Which is why I've decided
To reevaluate my goals.

Um, refocus my energy
And...

Stop writing...

At least for a while.

I-I feel I should start
Concentrating my efforts

On what I do best,
Which is to teach.

It's where my skills are.

It's where my life
Is leading me.

- ben, the--
- ooh, in fact, I...

Got to go to my office.
- now?

- I left some reference books
I need for my lecture...

And a pile of term papers.

- well, when will you be back?
- don't know.

I'm sure you can return it
And get your money back.

[door closes]

- is sierra in?

- she's off
With her girlfriends,

Seeing some chick flick.
- oh.

Well, I stopped by to pick up
A check and my equipment.

- yeah, she left you a check.
Come in.

Well?

Here you go.

- thanks.

I'll just get
My equipment and--

- how about a beer?

[bottles clinking]

I'm not supposed
To be drinking,

But, you know,
I'm in pretty good shape,

Wouldn't you say?

- I'd say one beer is not going
To ruin that six-pack.

- oh, that's last week's game.

Coach makes us
Watch ourselves.

- which one are you?
- number seven.

- very graceful...

In a rugged, manly way.

- [chuckles]

- you know, there's something
I've always wanted to ask.

Why the tight pants?

- so there's nothing to grab
Onto if you're tackled.

- and why are you always
Patting each other's asses?

- just friendly encouragement.

- you know,
I don't see much difference

In how you play your game
On sunday afternoons

And how I play my game
On saturday nights.

- here...

Catch.

- oh, my god!
[chuckles]

Did you see that?

I caught it.

Never caught a ball
In my life.

Oh!

- you okay?

- this also isn't much different
Than my saturday nights.

You have a-a very nice body.

- you think so?

- strong, uh...

Hard.

- feel my bicep.

Go on.

Now feel this.

- what about sierra?

- she thinks
I have a nice body too.

[shuddering]

[knock at door]

- I was working late
And figured you might be too,

So I took a chance
And stopped by.

- well, you figured right...

Except, as you can see,
I'm a little busy

Doing research
For this lecture.

- then I won't keep you.

I just wanted to tell you
I read your book.

- already?
That was fast.

- it's like I missed
The last 36 hours.

I was so enthralled,
I couldn't put it down.

- that's a first. Most people
Could barely pick it up.

- [laughs]
What the fuck do they know?

- I'd like to think not much.
- exactly.

- thank you, anthony.

- no, uh, thank you

For...

Entrusting me with it.

When you have a spare moment,

Maybe we can go
For coffee again, discuss it.

- right.

Anthony...

Actually, I have a moment now.

- [groans]

[coughs, clears throat]

- bri?
Dandy lube just called.

We got 'em.

- way to go, theodore.

Yeah, I told you
You could do it.

- yeah, it was a little dicey
At first, but, uh...

[sniffs] Yeah, I managed
To convince them.

- how'd you do that?

- I just thought to myself,
"What would brian kinney do?"

After that, it was a snap.

You know,
You don't look so hot.

Why don't you--

Why don't you let me, uh,
Mind the shop and you go home,

Hmm?

[keys jingling]

- I thought I told you
To get out.

- I guess I didn't hear.
You tend to mumble a lot.

You want some soup?
It's debbie's homemade recipe.

- well, no wonder
I feel like barfing.

Listen to me,
You little shit.

I don't want you here.

- I don't care what you want.

[pot lid rattling]

You're not getting rid of me.

- [groans]

- shit.
Are you all right?

Tell me you're--
- I'm all right!

- you're not all right.

- then what the hell
Are you asking me for?

- so that I can tell you

What a motherfucking
Piece of shit you are

For not telling me,
For shutting me out,

For thinking that you could
Handle this on your own,

And, most of all, for thinking
I would leave you.

Why would you think that--
Because you had a ball removed?

Because you're
No longer perfect?

Well, believe me, mr. Kinney,

That is the least
Of your imperfections.

And if I'd wanted
To leave you,

I've had better reasons--
Plenty of them.

- maybe you should have.

- yeah, maybe you're right.

But I thought
We had a commitment.

And I plan to stand by it.

Now, why don't you to get
Your ass back in bed,

You son of a bitch, and eat
Some fucking chicken soup?

- [groans]

- * well, I got no place

* to lay down my head

* ran out of time

* I'm all out of time

* well, I got no place

* to lay down my head

* ran out of time

* I'm all out of time

* I need you,
I need you to find me here *

* come rescue me

* and take me,
And take me so far away *

* come rescue me

* just once or twice

* got to take my own advice

*

* just once or twice

* got to take my own advice

*

* well, I got no place

* to lay down my head

* ran out of time

* I'm all out of time

* well, I got no place

* to lay down my head

* ran out of time

* I'm all out of time

*