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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,513 - * one, two, three, four, Five, six * 2 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:15,383 * shake it, dude 3 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:22,490 * 4 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,272 - * cue the pulse to begin 5 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:46,280 * 6 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:50,318 * cue the pulse to begin 7 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:53,454 * cue the pulse to begin 8 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:57,325 * cue the pulse to begin 9 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,366 - you obsess about it, You fantasize about it, 10 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,469 But then when you finally Hear the news... 11 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,704 - take a deep breath. 12 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,440 - [exhales] 13 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:15,709 All you can think about is, Why me? 14 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,845 I mean, how could this happen? How-- 15 00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,847 How could I... 16 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,849 Be negative? 17 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:22,850 - luck of the irish? 18 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,318 - except I'm not irish. 19 00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:26,387 - baby, It's going to be okay. 20 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,621 - [sniffles] 21 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:30,191 - [sighs] 22 00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,193 - what's next? 23 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:33,661 - ah. 24 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,497 A job, I guess. 25 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,133 I became quite adept at Cleaning toilets back at rehab. 26 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,768 Polished that porcelain So bright 27 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:44,272 You could see your face Before you puked. 28 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,506 - let me ask you. 29 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,876 If you could do anything In the world, 30 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,911 What would it be? 31 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,248 - well... 32 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,384 You'll laugh. 33 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,819 - come on. Try me. 34 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,554 - [sighs] 35 00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,623 I always wanted To sing opera. 36 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,359 Back in college, I even took some lessons. 37 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:07,228 Instructor said I wasn't half bad. 38 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,230 Of course, I was paying him. 39 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,498 - so sing. 40 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:11,499 - what, are you kidding? I mean, that was-- 41 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,700 That was just a dream. 42 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,268 What I need Is something practical. 43 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,636 - no, what you need Is something you love. 44 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,638 Something that'll make You feel good. 45 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,541 - so I've been going To the gym religiously. 46 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,377 - is that why you were kneeling In the steam room? 47 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:24,812 - I've got to get back In shape. 48 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,280 - you look fine, em. 49 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:29,283 - "Fine"? Just "Fine"? 50 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:32,653 "Fine" is fine for you two. You each have a husband. 51 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,655 Wife? Partner? 52 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,924 Passing acquaintance? Hmm. 53 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,327 Anyway, for those of us adrift On the sea of single-dom, 54 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,429 It's "Sparkle, neely, sparkle!" 55 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:42,596 [chuckles] 56 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,598 Shit. 57 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,800 - shit. 58 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,803 [dramatic music] 59 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:57,778 * 60 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,183 [gunshot] 61 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,319 - come to think of it, 62 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,987 I may do A little speed-walking. 63 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,190 Burn off a couple of pounds. 64 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,428 - ted! - michael. 65 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:15,963 Brian. You remember blake. 66 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,498 - nice to see you guys. 67 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,967 - so, uh, how are you-- - doing? Great. 68 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,969 - great. Well, uh-- 69 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:24,372 We should get together sometime. What do you say? 70 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:27,308 - yeah, sure, sometime. Well, gotta go. 71 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,909 Come on. Go over here, yeah. 72 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,578 [mutters] 73 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,580 - think he was acting kind Of strange? 74 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,249 - for theodore? No. 75 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,251 - maybe he feels like We're judging him. 76 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:41,455 - I don't know about you, But I am. 77 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,023 [electric razor buzzes] 78 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,626 - so, if we're going to have A recognizable force, 79 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,728 We need to have A uniform appearance. 80 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,363 - wouldn't our presence On the street 81 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,031 Be more effective If we were less noticeable? 82 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,466 - well, what's the point Of doing it 83 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,867 If we don't get Some attention? 84 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,736 - we need to look the part, 85 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,271 So they know not To fuck with us. 86 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,472 - hey, daphne. 87 00:03:58,506 --> 00:03:59,640 This is my roommate, daphne. 88 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,874 - hey. - hey. 89 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,410 - daph, this is the group 90 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,911 That I was telling you about, The pink posse. 91 00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,746 - ah, right. For a minute there, 92 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,781 I thought you were enrolled In beauty school. 93 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,351 - daphne and I started The gay-straight alliance 94 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,385 At our high school. 95 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:14,288 - I was the straight half. 96 00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,356 Can I join? 97 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,924 - it's only for queers. 98 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,459 - yeah. - yeah. 99 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:26,500 - I thought keeping the streets Safe was everyone's concern. 100 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:31,639 Well, I guess I'll grab A straight soda 101 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,775 And head to my straight room 102 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:38,078 And study my straight studies. 103 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,047 [door closes] - she's my best friend. 104 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,782 Why couldn't she be A part of this? 105 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,584 - because this is about queers Defending themselves. 106 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,918 - right. - yeah. 107 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,387 - queers standing up To their attackers. 108 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,522 Queers fighting back. - right on! 109 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:49,790 - let in heteros, 110 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,659 It dissipates the purpose. - exactly. 111 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,395 - now, we'll be patrolling In teams of two. 112 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,530 - it's you and me, dude. - dynamic duo. 113 00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,332 - we'll work together. 114 00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:00,634 - okay, who's next? 115 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,970 - I am. 116 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:10,110 - here we go. 117 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,546 [electric razor buzzes] 118 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,448 - oh. 119 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,949 - ted's one Of my best friends, 120 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,751 But it's like I hardly knew him at all. 121 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,420 He's--he's so distant. 122 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,688 - oh, he's been that way To all of us. 123 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:21,889 - here you go, sweetie. 124 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,091 - thanks. - I meant gus. 125 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,360 But you can have one too. - of course, 126 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:27,861 I haven't exactly been there For him either. 127 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,630 - hey, don't start blaming Yourself. 128 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,964 - ted's responsible For his own behavior. 129 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,733 He knows that. 130 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,835 - still, he needs to know That we're there for him. 131 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,104 - hell, we're making him Cookies, aren't we? 132 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,906 - hi, baby. 133 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,375 - [whispers] Ix-nay on the ed-tay. 134 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,376 - this is a nice surprise. 135 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,577 What brings you to these parts? 136 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:46,113 - just checking up on mel. - hmm. 137 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:47,448 Seems like there's more than 138 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:48,882 A bun in the oven. [chuckles] 139 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,451 You realize, of course, I'm gonna have to 140 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,719 Chain myself to the treadmill 141 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,654 For a week after that. 142 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,023 Make that two weeks. - actually, em. 143 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:59,026 - we're making them for-- - for ted. 144 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,534 - that's very thoughtful. 145 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,469 I'm sure He'll appreciate knowing 146 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:11,772 He has such good friends As you. 147 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,744 - hmm. 148 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,547 - this one has plenty Of square footage, 149 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,048 Offices with excellent views, 150 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:24,652 Generous support areas Including a conference room, 151 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:28,021 Uh, kitchen, Uh, executive washroom, 152 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,057 And plenty Of underground parking. 153 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,492 - sounds like everything I need, 154 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:34,428 But it's not what I want. 155 00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,163 - but it's as nice as vanguard. 156 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,831 - kinnetik is not vanguard. 157 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:41,502 We don't think in a box. We don't live in a box. 158 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,504 Therefore, we don't work In a box. 159 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,172 Even if that box were The seagram's building, 160 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,141 I don't want it. 161 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:50,778 - hey. 162 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,180 - christ! 163 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,682 What did you do To your hair? 164 00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,084 - it's called a haircut, Mother. 165 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,986 - I'm--I'm-- I'm--I'm just surprised, 166 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,053 That's all. 167 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,923 It used to be so beautiful. 168 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,058 - yeah, well, maybe That was the problem. 169 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,727 Anyway, we all got them. 170 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,529 - who's "We"? - the pink posse. 171 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,799 We're protecting liberty avenue From homophobes. 172 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,834 In case you weren't aware, There was a bashing. 173 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,803 - I'm perfectly aware. 174 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,538 I'm also aware That you were bashed. 175 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,806 - all the more reason. 176 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,541 - to put yourself at risk? 177 00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,075 Haven't you been through enough? 178 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,577 - don't fucking tell me What to do. 179 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,613 - hey, hey, take it easy, Timberlake. 180 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:26,947 - brian, 181 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,716 Will you please talk Some sense into him? 182 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:31,819 - now, now, mother taylor, Justin's a big boy. 183 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:35,122 He should be allowed To make his own mistakes. 184 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,595 - I'll be in touch. 185 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,567 [door closes] 186 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,537 - your haircut's hot. 187 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,708 - [singing largo al factotum From the barber of seville] 188 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:57,611 - * della citta, Della citta, della citta * 189 00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:02,249 * della citta Della citta * 190 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,251 * ah, bravo figaro Bravo, bravissimo * 191 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,719 * ah, bravo figaro Bravo, bravissimo * 192 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,721 * a te fortuna A te fortuna * 193 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,156 * a te fortuna Non manchera * 194 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,791 * la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la * 195 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,726 * la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la * 196 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,728 * a te fortuna A te fortuna * 197 00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,664 * a te fortuna Non manchera * 198 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:20,000 * sono il factotum Della citta * 199 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:23,003 * sono il factotum Della citta * 200 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,640 * della citta Della citta * 201 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:33,280 * della citta 202 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,749 - that was very nice. Thank you. 203 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:38,819 We'll be in touch. 204 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,154 - next! 205 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,790 - thanks. That was great. 206 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:46,159 - you are ted schmidt? 207 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,295 - ah, yes, sir. Ted schmidt. That's me. 208 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,197 - care to tell me a little Something about yourself, ted? 209 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,300 - okay. Well, was born raised 210 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,668 Right here in pittsburgh, 211 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,169 Went to north allegheny high, 212 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,806 Then to wharton where I was in the top ten... 213 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,241 - I meant Your singing experience. 214 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,577 - oh. Well... [clears throat] 215 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,345 You know, I, uh-- I mean, I've had, 216 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,914 You know, A few voice lessons 217 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:10,117 And did some college And amateur productions, 218 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,318 Pinafore, penzance, Things like that. 219 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,120 - I see. 220 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,254 - but I love opera. 221 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,823 It's always been my dream to-- 222 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,925 - so what are you going To sing for us today? 223 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,326 - well, I thought I'd do, uh, 224 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:22,963 Che gelida manina From boheme. 225 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:29,336 - perhaps if you gave oscar Your music, 226 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:34,675 He might play it While you sing. 227 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,677 - oh. [chuckles] 228 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,211 Of course. I'm sorry. 229 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,947 Yes. Here you go, oscar. 230 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,982 From the top, I guess. 231 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:48,622 [la boheme playing] 232 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,257 * 233 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:54,628 * che gelida manina 234 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:58,966 * se la lasci riscaldar 235 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:03,704 * cercar che giova? 236 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:08,809 * al buio non si trova 237 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,713 - are you sure she's asleep? 238 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,982 - she's sawing enough wood Down there 239 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,751 To keep us warm all winter. 240 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:21,254 Speaking of which, My feet are freezing. 241 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,756 Warm them up, would you? 242 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,758 - you warm mine. 243 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,731 - hey! 244 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:34,267 I thought we were gonna watch By love possessed on amc. 245 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,869 - well, I thought you Were asleep. 246 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,137 - I was just taking a catnap, 247 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,072 So I could stay up. [laughs] 248 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,942 You know, when I was younger And a blonde, 249 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,077 Everybody said I reminded them Of lana turner. 250 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,213 - it was shelley winters. 251 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,881 - it was lana fucking turner. 252 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:50,283 She and I both had That perfect chin. 253 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,885 - and the tits. 254 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,186 - I've still got 'em. 255 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,155 [laughter] 256 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,758 Anyway, I thought I'd heat up some those-- 257 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,226 Those turnovers, You know, from the freezer. 258 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,895 So what'll it be, Apricot or cherry? 259 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,931 [sighs] 260 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,766 - apricot. 261 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:08,301 - rodney? 262 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,937 - cherry. 263 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,940 - I'll drizzle extra icing On 'em. 264 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,711 Well, you coming? 265 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:18,946 - you know, actually, debbie-- 266 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,213 - could you give us A minute, sis? 267 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:23,216 - sure, honey. Take your time. 268 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:30,824 Say, you weren't gonna fuck Or anything, were you? 269 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,159 Oh. [laughs] 270 00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,132 - something tells me The temperature tonight 271 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,834 Is gonna hit record lows. 272 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,269 - what makes you say that? 273 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,471 - 'cause I'm already feeling A chill, 274 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:47,340 And it's coming From your side of the bed. 275 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,376 - she never leaves us alone. 276 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,011 I thought that When we got together, 277 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,980 We were going to be a couple, Not a threesome. 278 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,381 - what can I do? It's her house. 279 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,083 - it's your room. 280 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,851 - well, it's not much better At your place, 281 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:02,289 With your three roommates Running around. 282 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:07,027 - so I guess We can never be alone. 283 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:11,899 - we're alone now. 284 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,835 - vic! Rodney! It's on! 285 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,403 - [sighs] 286 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,879 - teddy. - michael. 287 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,247 - I come bearing cookies. 288 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,782 Actually, They're from mel and linz, 289 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,851 Chocolate chippers, But gus and I were 290 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,885 The official taste testers. 291 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,253 - that's nice. 292 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,387 - what do you say We crack open the tin 293 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,189 And eat 'em all In one sitting? 294 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,391 - well, as much as I'd Like to o.D. On chocolate-- 295 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,459 - for a change. 296 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,062 I mean-- 297 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,164 - I'm just on my way out To a meeting. 298 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,799 - oh, new job? 299 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,468 - not that kind of meeting. It's my 12-step. 300 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:51,905 - oh. Well, how about dinner? 301 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,206 You can meet hunter. 302 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,441 - all right, yeah, Mel and linz told me... 303 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,043 - yeah, He's a great kid 304 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,544 When he's not being A royal pain in the ass. 305 00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,080 But he's funny. I think you'll like him. 306 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,581 - I'm sure. 307 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,051 - so, say around 7:00, Our place? 308 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,887 - well, I've got my group At rehab tonight. 309 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,056 - well, what about tomorrow? Or the next day? 310 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:12,025 Breakfast, lunch, dinner, Between-meal snacks, 311 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:15,562 Whatever you say. 312 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,898 - I'm kind of busy these days, 313 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,833 What with, you know, 314 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,301 My meetings And looking for work 315 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,570 And my therapy. 316 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,505 So-- 317 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:35,515 - ted, I just want you to know That I'm your friend. 318 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:39,319 And I was your friend Before this happened, 319 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:44,324 And I'm your friend now. 320 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:48,996 And I'll be here for you If you ever need anything. 321 00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,098 No matter what. 322 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,384 - [chuckles] 323 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,020 Is that what The well-dressed vigilante 324 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,554 Will be wearing this season? 325 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,890 - cody says it's important We be recognizable. 326 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,291 - hmm, well, 327 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:22,129 You'll be recognizable, All right. 328 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,964 So what weapon Are you packing? 329 00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,398 The howitzer or bazooka? 330 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:28,401 - pepper spray. 331 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,406 - [exhales] 332 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,143 Armed and ready For action. 333 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,980 This cody's thought of Everything. 334 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,982 - I remember when my mother Used to refer to you 335 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,052 As "This brian." 336 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,519 - well, your mom's no fool. 337 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,388 She knew her little angel Was getting himself 338 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,690 Into a peck of trouble. 339 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,659 She's not wrong this time. 340 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,527 You should really go back To school. 341 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,329 - fuck school. 342 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,465 They kicked me out for doing What was right. 343 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,333 I don't need them Or their diploma. 344 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,402 They can eat shit. 345 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,404 - still angry? 346 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,039 - I'm not angry, I'm committed. 347 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,175 - what, to saving the world? 348 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,477 - you saved the world From an evil politician. 349 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,280 - I didn't do it for the world. 350 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,948 Stockwell closed down The back room, 351 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,417 Forced us to fuck like Boring breeders, 352 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,153 So don't start mistaking me For eleanor roosevelt. 353 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,089 I just did what I had to do, For me. 354 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:26,559 - and I'm doing What I have to do, for me. 355 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:29,596 [lighter clicks] 356 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:34,201 [door slides] 357 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,713 - what are you doing Reading comic books? 358 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,516 - duh! I'm in A fucking comic book store. 359 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,618 - well, you should be Doing your homework. 360 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,188 And watch your mouth. 361 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,523 Holy shit. 362 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,758 - what? What's the matter? 363 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,629 - did you hear me? I sounded just like my mother. 364 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,531 Here. Read As many as you like. 365 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,333 [door opens] 366 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,202 Hey, uncle vic. - hi, michael. 367 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:10,370 Hey, how's it going, Hunter? 368 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,072 - mm. 369 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,107 - as an older gay man In this world, 370 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,275 You might as well be invisible. 371 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,077 - he's just doing his homework. 372 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,545 - I don't fucking get algebra. 373 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,348 - here, let's see. 374 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:24,651 Make "X" equal to "Y," Then square it, 375 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,119 And you've got your solution. 376 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:27,687 - ah, I get it. 377 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,656 Awesome. 378 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,125 - I was always good At numbers. 379 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,127 Especially cute ones. 380 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,030 - you can always count On uncle vic to solve a problem. 381 00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:39,099 - except my own. 382 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,301 Do you think rage Could help me? 383 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,502 - there's somebody You want brought back 384 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:43,670 To life with a blow-job? 385 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,138 - me. 386 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,140 But every time rodney And I try to-- 387 00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,375 - fuck? - thank you. 388 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,643 Your mother-- - oh, say no more. 389 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,412 - she won't leave us alone. 390 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,414 We'd like it to be The two of us, 391 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,516 But instead, it's always The three of us. 392 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,385 - easy solution, dude. 393 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,288 Subtract one from three and You've got your problem solved. 394 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,056 - smart ass. - well, oddly enough... 395 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,691 That was rodney's solution too. 396 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,793 But debbie and I've lived Together for so long, hell, 397 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,696 We'd be an old married couple if We weren't brother and sister. 398 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:12,599 Besides, it would break Her heart if I moved out. 399 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,168 [sighs] And after All she's done for me. 400 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,271 I probably wouldn't even be Alive if it wasn't for her. 401 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:19,672 - she helped you Get your life back 402 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,275 So that you could have A life. 403 00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,811 You're entitled to that, Uncle vic. 404 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:28,315 I'm sure she would be The first to say so. 405 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,420 - mmm... 406 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:37,090 Surprisingly moist For lesbian-baked goods. 407 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,159 - [laughs] 408 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,161 You know you're lucky To have such 409 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,829 Good friends. 410 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,597 - yeah. 411 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:45,798 [slurps] 412 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,370 Well, I guess I'd better figure out 413 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,738 How I'm going To support myself, 414 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:57,344 Considering I'm down To my last crumb. 415 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,381 [scoffs] - what? 416 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,515 - can you believe I actually thought 417 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,517 I could get a job singing? 418 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,885 Those people At the audition 419 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,588 Must've had A good laugh after I left. 420 00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:10,857 As if anyone would hire me. 421 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,593 - I remember hearing you In the shower. 422 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,196 You sounded pretty good. 423 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:20,333 - everyone sounds good In the shower. 424 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,734 It's time I put All those romantic notions 425 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:26,406 Behind me And get real. 426 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,376 [phone rings] 427 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,148 [ringing continues] 428 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,884 - aren't you going To answer that? 429 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,386 - no, it's probably Just michael 430 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,887 Wanting to do something. 431 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:45,158 - remember we talked About avoidance in group? 432 00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,394 [ringing continues] 433 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,303 [phone beeps] 434 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,537 - hello. 435 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,905 Yes? 436 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,508 What? 437 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:05,178 Are you sure? I-I mean, yes! 438 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:07,714 That's great. 439 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,550 Thank you. [phone beeps] 440 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,785 - michael must want to do Something great. 441 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,721 - he wants me to sing. 442 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,924 Not michael, I mean... 443 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,526 I got the job. 444 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:20,660 - oh, my god. 445 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:21,828 [laughs] 446 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,265 That's-- - unbelievable? Insane? 447 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,399 A mistake? 448 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,836 - it's wonderful! 449 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:34,541 - save any lives last night? 450 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,409 - oh, we helped Some fucked-up club kids 451 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,744 Get back to their apartment, 452 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,679 An old queen change a flat. 453 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,814 Other than that, It's pretty quiet. 454 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,850 - yeah, well, that's the thing About being a superhero. 455 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,585 The average person thinks It's all about 456 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,420 Stopping two planets From colliding 457 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:50,957 Or saving the universe from Being swallowed by a black hole. 458 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,559 But most days, It's just your average 459 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,961 Run-of-the-mill Good deeds. 460 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,763 This is where I get off. 461 00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:00,300 - it's a little early In the day, isn't it? 462 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,335 - no. 463 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:39,472 - this more What you're looking for? 464 00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,007 - I've always dreamed 465 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,676 Of having an office With a drain in the floor. 466 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,545 - I thought you might like it. 467 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,515 Come on. I'll show you around. 468 00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,009 - I miss the old orgy room. 469 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,811 - you could make it A conference room. 470 00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,613 - it's perfect 471 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,848 For screwing The competition. 472 00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:58,585 [camera shutter clicks] 473 00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,953 - [singing vesti la giubba From pagliacci] 474 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:07,694 * ridi, pagliaccio 475 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:14,000 * sul tuo amore infranto * 476 00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:19,906 * ridi del duol 477 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:25,578 * che t'avvelena 478 00:22:25,612 --> 00:22:31,117 * il cor 479 00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:35,455 [applause] 480 00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:37,724 - bravo! 481 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:39,726 - thank you. Thank you. 482 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,594 - something in your spaghetti? 483 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,863 - do you know Who the singing waiter is? 484 00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,498 It's-- - schmidt! 485 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,999 - yes, mr. Parducci? 486 00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,668 - table three needs More breadsticks. 487 00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,770 - right away, sir. - oh, and schmidt... 488 00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:52,805 That was A very nice pagliacci. 489 00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:54,907 - oh, thank you, Mr. Parducci. 490 00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:57,009 I thought it would go well With scampi and a valpolicella. 491 00:22:57,043 --> 00:23:01,581 - excellent choice. 492 00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:02,749 - ted, a singing waiter? 493 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:03,883 - he's serving up arias 494 00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:05,685 And arrabbiata at rigoletto's. 495 00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:07,654 - I always heard that place Is a blast. 496 00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:09,822 - oh, honey, it's like A goddamn ride at disneyland. 497 00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:11,924 They got fake grapes, Fake italian waiters, 498 00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:14,761 Fake sunsets painted On the walls. 499 00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:16,896 No fuckin' class at all. 500 00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:19,632 - then what were Vic and rodney doing there? 501 00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:21,501 - vic and rodney? 502 00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:22,802 At rigoletto's? 503 00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:24,036 - mm. - last night. 504 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,838 That's how we heard About ted. 505 00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,774 - we were supposed to go to The grand pricks last night. 506 00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:30,510 It's that big-dick contest At babylon, not the car race. 507 00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:31,778 - we know, ma. 508 00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:33,680 - but vic said that--that 509 00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:35,114 Rodney wasn't feeling well. 510 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:38,851 - hi, boys. - hey, em. 511 00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,687 You know, we should All go there for dinner. 512 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,188 - you sure he'd like that? - why not? 513 00:23:42,221 --> 00:23:44,123 - go where? - rigoletto's. 514 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:46,859 - that cheesy joint With the singing waiters? 515 00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,227 Why would we want To go there? 516 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,963 - ted's one Of the singing waiters. 517 00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:53,933 - really? 518 00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:56,536 So you just figured We'd all go 519 00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:59,539 And root him on, huh? 520 00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:01,508 Well, 521 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,143 Be sure and shout "Bravo" for me. 522 00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:08,214 - em, would you slow down? 523 00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:10,550 What are you getting So upset for? 524 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,619 I'm just trying to show ted A little support. 525 00:24:12,652 --> 00:24:14,253 - well, I'm getting a little Tired of your little support. 526 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,022 Cookies are one thing. 527 00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:18,224 Now you're his cheering section? - he's my friend. 528 00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:19,959 - in case you've forgotten, 529 00:24:19,992 --> 00:24:21,694 So am I. - I know that. 530 00:24:21,728 --> 00:24:24,130 - then you might Try considering how I feel. 531 00:24:24,163 --> 00:24:26,633 - what does my friendship With him have to do with you? 532 00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,100 - how can you even say That to me 533 00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:30,570 After what he put me through? 534 00:24:30,603 --> 00:24:33,039 - that's between the two of you. 535 00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:34,841 Besides, I can't very Well turn my back on him. 536 00:24:34,874 --> 00:24:36,976 - why not? He turned His back on you. 537 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,645 - well, that doesn't mean I should do the same. 538 00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:40,012 It wouldn't be fair. 539 00:24:40,046 --> 00:24:41,848 - "Fair"? 540 00:24:41,881 --> 00:24:43,783 What about being fair to me? 541 00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:47,754 Why should I be fair to him Or anyone else? 542 00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:52,992 - vic! 543 00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:56,162 Get your ass down here. We're gonna miss the movie. 544 00:24:56,195 --> 00:24:57,997 Why didn't you bring a sweater? You know it's chilly. 545 00:24:58,030 --> 00:25:00,132 Now go back upstairs, Get your sweater. 546 00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:01,834 Did you remember your wallet? Last time you forgot it. 547 00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:05,271 - sis, do you mind If we skip the movie? 548 00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:06,639 - what's the matter? Aren't you feeling well? 549 00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,140 - I'm fine. 550 00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:09,742 I just thought since It's rodney's night 551 00:25:09,776 --> 00:25:11,744 To volunteer at the hospice, 552 00:25:11,778 --> 00:25:14,280 You and I could spend The evening at home. 553 00:25:14,313 --> 00:25:16,783 Just the two of us. 554 00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:18,284 - just the two of us? 555 00:25:18,317 --> 00:25:19,686 We haven't done that In a long time. 556 00:25:19,719 --> 00:25:21,754 Wanna play cards? [chuckles] 557 00:25:21,788 --> 00:25:23,155 I'll make us Some caramel corn. 558 00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:24,156 - maybe later. 559 00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:27,193 Sis... 560 00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:30,730 [sighs] 561 00:25:37,003 --> 00:25:39,806 - baby, what is it? 562 00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:41,774 - you know I love you 563 00:25:41,808 --> 00:25:43,710 More than anyone else In the world. 564 00:25:43,743 --> 00:25:46,212 - except rodney, But I understand that. 565 00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:48,581 - then I hope You'll understand that 566 00:25:48,615 --> 00:25:49,982 We've talked things over 567 00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:55,722 And we've decided To get our own place. 568 00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:58,691 It's time, sis. 569 00:26:03,763 --> 00:26:05,064 - you're damn Fuckin' right it's time. 570 00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:06,232 [chuckles] 571 00:26:06,265 --> 00:26:07,266 Hell, I've been waiting For this 572 00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:09,702 For god knows how long. 573 00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:11,270 Not that I don't love Having you here. 574 00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:12,805 And not that I'm not crazy about rodney, 575 00:26:12,839 --> 00:26:14,674 But I never have any privacy. 576 00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,609 I have to close the door Every time I want to go potty, 577 00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:17,844 And I can't run down here 578 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:19,011 To the refrigerator In my panties. 579 00:26:19,045 --> 00:26:21,280 - you do anyway. We've seen you. 580 00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:25,384 - well, now I can do it With nobody watching. 581 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,219 So when are you going? 582 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:28,888 - well, since It's making you so happy, 583 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,089 I could go right now. 584 00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:31,624 - no! No. 585 00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:33,626 Not till we play cards. - oh, get off me now. 586 00:26:33,660 --> 00:26:35,227 - [laughs] Say "Auntie!" 587 00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:38,097 - [giggles] Auntie, auntie. 588 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,132 - I could always pin you down. 589 00:26:40,166 --> 00:26:42,168 - you're the top In this family. 590 00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:43,302 - you bet. 591 00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:45,037 - you get the cards. 592 00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:47,039 I'll make the caramel corn. 593 00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:49,375 - and honey? 594 00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:51,177 Don't you dare worry about me. 595 00:26:51,210 --> 00:26:54,747 I'll be just fine. 596 00:27:06,025 --> 00:27:07,727 - mm-- 597 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,129 This chianti tastes Like piss. 598 00:27:10,162 --> 00:27:14,000 This pasta's so limp, It needs viagra sauce. 599 00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:15,134 - it doesn't matter If the food's good or not. 600 00:27:15,167 --> 00:27:16,302 We're here to support ted. 601 00:27:16,335 --> 00:27:17,870 - mm-hmm. - so where is teddy? 602 00:27:17,904 --> 00:27:19,405 - are you sure He's working tonight? 603 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:23,910 - ladies and gentlemen, Signore and signori, 604 00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:27,279 We hope you are having A memorable dining experience. 605 00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:29,315 - I'm sure I'll remember The indigestion. 606 00:27:29,348 --> 00:27:31,751 - and to add To your enjoyment... 607 00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:34,787 [laughs] Signore schmidt! 608 00:27:34,821 --> 00:27:37,757 [applause] 609 00:27:37,790 --> 00:27:40,059 - oh, look. There he is. 610 00:27:40,092 --> 00:27:42,762 - thanks. 611 00:27:42,795 --> 00:27:44,363 Thank you. 612 00:27:44,396 --> 00:27:46,332 [singing la donna e mobile From rigoletto] 613 00:27:46,365 --> 00:27:49,969 * la donna e mobile Qual-- * 614 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,771 - [chuckles] 615 00:27:51,804 --> 00:27:54,373 - * muta d'accento 616 00:27:54,406 --> 00:27:56,175 * e di-- 617 00:27:56,208 --> 00:28:04,116 * 618 00:28:07,286 --> 00:28:09,421 Sorry, I can't-- [stammers] 619 00:28:11,090 --> 00:28:14,093 [indistinct chatter] 620 00:28:14,126 --> 00:28:15,394 - teddy, what's wrong? 621 00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:16,796 - why are you here? 622 00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:18,264 - to cheer you on. 623 00:28:18,297 --> 00:28:20,199 - did it ever occur to you, To any of you, 624 00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,201 That if I wanted you here, I would have asked you? 625 00:28:22,234 --> 00:28:24,136 And if you were really My friends, 626 00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:25,805 You would leave me alone. 627 00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:27,073 - waiter, 628 00:28:27,106 --> 00:28:28,741 Can I get Some more breadsticks? 629 00:28:28,775 --> 00:28:31,844 - right away, ma'am. 630 00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:34,847 [edgy music] 631 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:42,855 * 632 00:28:57,336 --> 00:28:59,505 - she's amazing. I mean, What she can do with accents. 633 00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:01,240 - hey, faggot! 634 00:29:01,273 --> 00:29:04,310 Wanna suck my cock? 635 00:29:04,343 --> 00:29:06,245 - assholes. 636 00:29:06,278 --> 00:29:08,047 - come on. [all shouting] 637 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,048 - go, go, go, go, go! - yeah! 638 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:10,516 - motherfuckers! 639 00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:12,785 Who do you think you are, Calling people "Faggot"? 640 00:29:12,819 --> 00:29:14,186 Get out of the car! 641 00:29:14,220 --> 00:29:16,889 Get out of the fucking car! - calm down. 642 00:29:16,923 --> 00:29:18,925 - hey! What are you doing? 643 00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:20,893 Look what you did to My fucking car, you asshole. 644 00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:22,461 - how would you like me to Do the same thing to you? 645 00:29:22,494 --> 00:29:23,863 - you and who else, faggot? 646 00:29:23,896 --> 00:29:25,064 - the other faggot. 647 00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:26,398 Apologize. You too. 648 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:28,167 - hey, fuck you, You little cocksucker. 649 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,401 - [grunts] Hey! 650 00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:30,870 - argh! 651 00:29:30,903 --> 00:29:35,541 [indistinct shouting] 652 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:37,944 [horn honking] 653 00:29:37,977 --> 00:29:40,212 - now you can get Your cock sucked. 654 00:29:40,246 --> 00:29:41,347 - and you can do it for him. 655 00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:45,918 [all cheering] 656 00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:58,230 - pink power! Yeah! 657 00:30:13,612 --> 00:30:16,348 [sirens wail] 658 00:30:33,032 --> 00:30:36,402 - oh, you're just in time. 659 00:30:36,435 --> 00:30:38,370 I was about to go out to Babylon. 660 00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:40,272 - these fucking Straight assholes-- 661 00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:43,075 We turned them into pussies. 662 00:30:43,109 --> 00:30:46,979 You should've seen us there. 663 00:30:47,013 --> 00:30:48,147 - [chuckles] 664 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,909 [both grunting] 665 00:31:39,031 --> 00:31:41,000 - good boy. 666 00:31:41,033 --> 00:31:42,935 Feel those pecs. 667 00:31:42,969 --> 00:31:46,572 - anytime you want, big guy. 668 00:31:46,605 --> 00:31:48,941 - excuse me, but would you Mind spotting me? 669 00:31:48,975 --> 00:31:51,543 - actually, we were just About to hit the showers. 670 00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:53,579 - I'm blake. - ben. 671 00:31:53,612 --> 00:31:56,348 - oh, you're ted's-- 672 00:31:56,382 --> 00:31:59,051 Michael's told me. - the whole story? 673 00:31:59,085 --> 00:32:00,586 - come on. We need to get home. 674 00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:02,688 - look. 675 00:32:02,721 --> 00:32:05,024 I know you don't really want To hear anything I have to say, 676 00:32:05,057 --> 00:32:08,727 But what happened last night Between you and ted, 677 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,030 You've got to give him Some time. 678 00:32:11,063 --> 00:32:12,631 - thanks for the advice. Now, if you don't mind-- 679 00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:15,501 - he's trying to put His life back together. 680 00:32:15,534 --> 00:32:17,970 And there's a lot of things That he's ashamed of. 681 00:32:18,004 --> 00:32:20,039 And when he sees you, He's reminded of them. 682 00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:23,042 You're a reflection of those Things that he wants to forget. 683 00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:25,044 It doesn't mean that He doesn't care about you. 684 00:32:25,077 --> 00:32:26,512 - we care about him too. 685 00:32:26,545 --> 00:32:28,314 - yeah, we just want him To know it. 686 00:32:28,347 --> 00:32:31,350 - he does know it, Deep down. 687 00:32:31,383 --> 00:32:33,986 Eventually, he'll come around. 688 00:32:34,020 --> 00:32:38,124 But it has to be On his own terms. 689 00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:46,465 - I'll spot you, If you like. 690 00:32:46,498 --> 00:32:49,101 - thanks. - sure. 691 00:32:50,236 --> 00:32:51,770 - guess this is everything. 692 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:53,605 You ready? - mm. 693 00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:55,107 - vic! 694 00:32:55,141 --> 00:32:57,343 - I'm down here, sis. 695 00:32:57,376 --> 00:32:59,011 I'll be there in a minute. 696 00:32:59,045 --> 00:33:00,346 - take your time. 697 00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:03,115 I'm going to put this In the car. 698 00:33:03,149 --> 00:33:05,084 - aren't you going To take the twins? 699 00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:06,618 - I thought I'd leave them For you. 700 00:33:06,652 --> 00:33:08,487 - but I bought them For you, remember? 701 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,222 - of course I remember. 702 00:33:10,256 --> 00:33:11,523 - you were so sick You couldn't get out of bed. 703 00:33:11,557 --> 00:33:13,292 So I put one on either side, 704 00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:16,095 To watch over you. - and they did. 705 00:33:16,128 --> 00:33:17,296 Tell you what. 706 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:19,398 I'll take her, You keep him. 707 00:33:19,431 --> 00:33:22,568 That way, We have each other. 708 00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,304 - deal. 709 00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:27,239 So, you got everything? 710 00:33:27,273 --> 00:33:30,642 - yeah. 711 00:33:30,676 --> 00:33:33,179 - wait a minute. 712 00:33:33,212 --> 00:33:35,281 Don't forget. 713 00:33:35,314 --> 00:33:37,116 There's a baked ziti, lasagna, 714 00:33:37,149 --> 00:33:38,584 A couple of chickens, A pound cake. 715 00:33:38,617 --> 00:33:40,819 - jesus, it's enough For an army. 716 00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:42,288 - well, you can't go To a new place 717 00:33:42,321 --> 00:33:46,658 Without food in your fridge. 718 00:33:46,692 --> 00:33:50,596 Hey, it's not like You're never coming back. 719 00:33:50,629 --> 00:33:52,698 - I just always thought that The only way 720 00:33:52,731 --> 00:33:56,535 I'd leave here would be In a box. 721 00:33:56,568 --> 00:34:01,273 - well, thank jesus, mary, And joseph that never happened. 722 00:34:01,307 --> 00:34:03,075 Now you're walking out The front door 723 00:34:03,109 --> 00:34:04,543 With your boyfriend, 724 00:34:04,576 --> 00:34:06,745 And you're starting A whole new life. 725 00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:09,315 - hmm. What about you? 726 00:34:09,348 --> 00:34:11,150 - well, in case You haven't noticed, 727 00:34:11,183 --> 00:34:13,552 I'm all set up for my Rosalind russell film festival. 728 00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:15,587 And I've got enough ice cream In the freezer 729 00:34:15,621 --> 00:34:17,156 To give Every man, woman, and child 730 00:34:17,189 --> 00:34:18,590 In pittsburgh A heart attack. 731 00:34:18,624 --> 00:34:23,362 So as soon as you leave, Then my new life begins. 732 00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:25,331 I'm throwing off All my clothes, 733 00:34:25,364 --> 00:34:27,866 I'm gonna dive onto the couch, And I'm never looking back. 734 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,302 And neither should you. 735 00:34:30,336 --> 00:34:32,471 - ready? 736 00:34:32,504 --> 00:34:34,240 - yeah. 737 00:34:38,277 --> 00:34:40,379 - no fuckin' goodbyes. 738 00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:41,847 Besides, we all know I'm gonna be over there 739 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,483 Bugging the shit out of you In about an hour. 740 00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:45,651 [laughs] 741 00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:50,222 - I love you. 742 00:35:05,304 --> 00:35:08,274 [car doors slam] 743 00:35:08,307 --> 00:35:10,676 [engine turns over] 744 00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:12,611 - [sighs] 745 00:35:12,644 --> 00:35:15,747 [whispers] Bye. 746 00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:16,782 [water running] 747 00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:19,151 - coming to babylon? 748 00:35:19,185 --> 00:35:21,787 - got other plans. 749 00:35:21,820 --> 00:35:23,622 - on friday night In this nowhere burg, 750 00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:26,258 That would either be Counting your socks 751 00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:27,759 Or going to synagogue. 752 00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:30,696 - I've got patrol duty. 753 00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:39,405 - as long as you're working The streets, 754 00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:43,909 You should try making A few bucks. 755 00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:47,279 Where'd you get that? 756 00:35:47,313 --> 00:35:50,682 - oh. One of these jerk-offs From the other day punched me. 757 00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:52,718 It's nothing. 758 00:35:52,751 --> 00:35:54,686 - this time. 759 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,422 - I can fucking take Care of myself. 760 00:35:56,455 --> 00:35:58,557 - well, how about, um, 761 00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:00,726 Taking the night off? 762 00:36:00,759 --> 00:36:02,961 Even rage and god Get a day of rest. 763 00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,696 - I told you, I have things to do. 764 00:36:04,730 --> 00:36:07,833 - more like, going out looking For trouble. 765 00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:10,302 - I'm not looking for anything. 766 00:36:10,336 --> 00:36:11,837 It comes looking for us. 767 00:36:11,870 --> 00:36:13,839 Motherfucking Asshole straight guys 768 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:15,307 Think they can drive down The street, 769 00:36:15,341 --> 00:36:16,842 Yell "Faggot" Out of their car window, 770 00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:18,277 And we're just going To stand there and take it 771 00:36:18,310 --> 00:36:19,745 Like a bunch Of scared sissies. 772 00:36:19,778 --> 00:36:23,449 As far as I'm concerned, They can fucking die. 773 00:36:23,482 --> 00:36:25,551 - I'm glad to hear You're not angry. 774 00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:27,219 - we're protecting Innocent people, 775 00:36:27,253 --> 00:36:29,221 Standing up for ourselves. 776 00:36:29,255 --> 00:36:33,225 What's wrong with that? 777 00:36:33,259 --> 00:36:36,495 - * all your love tonight 778 00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:38,564 * 779 00:36:38,597 --> 00:36:44,436 * it's gonna take All your love tonight * 780 00:36:44,470 --> 00:36:49,841 * it's gonna take all your love Tonight * 781 00:36:49,875 --> 00:36:51,577 - the professor joining us? 782 00:36:51,610 --> 00:36:54,313 - he's working On his new book. 783 00:36:54,346 --> 00:36:56,014 He's almost done. I can't wait to read it. 784 00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:58,984 - I think I'll wait For the movie. 785 00:36:59,017 --> 00:37:02,854 - is justin coming? - maybe. 786 00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,856 - I heard the pink posse came To the rescue last night. 787 00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:06,892 - mm-hmm. [sniffs] 788 00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:11,863 - * it's gonna take All your love tonight * 789 00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:14,333 - hey, em. 790 00:37:14,366 --> 00:37:16,335 - hello, michael. 791 00:37:16,368 --> 00:37:19,271 - how's it going? - just fine. 792 00:37:19,305 --> 00:37:21,640 - you want to get a drink? 793 00:37:21,673 --> 00:37:24,343 - no, thanks. Ramon and I are busy. 794 00:37:24,376 --> 00:37:26,778 - okay. Well, maybe later. 795 00:37:26,812 --> 00:37:29,748 - later, ramon and I Will be even busier. 796 00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:32,017 But, hey, Why don't you call ted? 797 00:37:32,050 --> 00:37:35,821 I'm sure he'd love to get A drink with you. 798 00:37:39,858 --> 00:37:42,794 - why don't you get us A couple beers? 799 00:37:47,333 --> 00:37:49,368 [sniffs] 800 00:37:49,401 --> 00:37:50,502 [indistinct speech] 801 00:37:50,536 --> 00:37:53,939 [laughter] 802 00:37:53,972 --> 00:37:56,642 Oh. Do you mind If I cut in? 803 00:37:56,675 --> 00:37:59,378 - I'm dancing with someone. 804 00:37:59,411 --> 00:38:01,513 - not any more. - how dare you? 805 00:38:01,547 --> 00:38:02,914 Where the fuck do you get off? 806 00:38:02,948 --> 00:38:05,951 - save your diva routine For your world tour. 807 00:38:05,984 --> 00:38:06,985 Why'd you treat michael 808 00:38:07,018 --> 00:38:08,654 Like that? - like what? 809 00:38:08,687 --> 00:38:10,522 - like he's An insignificant piece of shit. 810 00:38:10,556 --> 00:38:12,658 - what the fuck business Is it of yours? 811 00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,693 - anybody who hurts michael Is the fuck my business. 812 00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:17,996 - yeah, well, Maybe he hurt me too. 813 00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:21,433 - by being friends With theodore? 814 00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:24,803 - you are the one Who told me to forget him, 815 00:38:24,836 --> 00:38:26,405 That--that he's dead. 816 00:38:26,438 --> 00:38:28,940 Right here on This very dance floor. 817 00:38:28,974 --> 00:38:30,676 - well, guess what? 818 00:38:30,709 --> 00:38:33,078 Like jesus and liza and judy, 819 00:38:33,111 --> 00:38:35,981 He's making a comeback. 820 00:38:36,014 --> 00:38:39,551 - and now everybody wants To give him a standing ovation, 821 00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:41,553 Just like nothing Ever happened. 822 00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:43,689 - listen to me, honeycutt. 823 00:38:43,722 --> 00:38:45,491 Are you listening? 824 00:38:45,524 --> 00:38:48,560 - yes, I'm listening. 825 00:38:48,594 --> 00:38:52,364 And don't call me honeycutt. 826 00:38:52,398 --> 00:38:55,434 - michael is your friend, Just the same as he's ted's. 827 00:38:55,467 --> 00:38:57,102 But if you force him To choose between you, 828 00:38:57,135 --> 00:39:01,573 You're going to lose him. 829 00:39:01,607 --> 00:39:03,742 Oh, and uh, by the way, 830 00:39:03,775 --> 00:39:05,711 I fucked ramon. 831 00:39:05,744 --> 00:39:08,980 His dick's the size of A ticonderoga number three, 832 00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:10,849 After it's been sharpened. 833 00:39:10,882 --> 00:39:12,050 Sorry. 834 00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,019 [man shouting] 835 00:39:26,064 --> 00:39:28,133 - there's not much happening Tonight. 836 00:39:28,166 --> 00:39:30,736 - you can't expect to kick ass Every time. 837 00:39:30,769 --> 00:39:32,604 - but last night-- 838 00:39:32,638 --> 00:39:34,773 Last night was the first time I was in a fight and won. 839 00:39:34,806 --> 00:39:37,876 For once, the fucking bullies Ran away. 840 00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:41,613 - nothing like feeling A little power. 841 00:39:41,647 --> 00:39:44,516 But it might make things Harder. 842 00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:46,518 Once they hear We're not afraid to fight back, 843 00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:48,754 They might not be so quick To come looking for us. 844 00:39:48,787 --> 00:39:50,889 So we'll just have To go looking for them. 845 00:39:50,922 --> 00:39:52,424 - but I thought our job 846 00:39:52,458 --> 00:39:54,159 Was to protect people here On the street. 847 00:39:54,192 --> 00:39:56,628 - sure. But why hang around Liberty avenue 848 00:39:56,662 --> 00:39:58,029 Waiting for something To happen, 849 00:39:58,063 --> 00:40:00,632 When there's a whole straight World out there? 850 00:40:00,666 --> 00:40:04,636 Let them see us and fear us In jesus' name! 851 00:40:04,670 --> 00:40:06,905 - what the fuck is that? 852 00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:08,840 - southern baptist bullshit. 853 00:40:08,874 --> 00:40:10,576 Every wednesday And sunday night, 854 00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,210 I'd be sitting there, Listening to the preacher 855 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:15,046 Telling us how all homosexuals Were going to burn in hell. 856 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,915 And I'd be shitting In my pants, thinking, 857 00:40:16,948 --> 00:40:18,850 What if The congregation found out? 858 00:40:18,884 --> 00:40:21,186 I'd be kicked out. 859 00:40:21,219 --> 00:40:24,656 My parents would hate me, They'd never speak to me again. 860 00:40:24,690 --> 00:40:29,094 - is that what happened? 861 00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:33,465 - not before I fucked Hector ramirez up the ass. 862 00:40:33,499 --> 00:40:35,534 So... 863 00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:40,672 What do you say we go flush us Out some homophobes? 864 00:40:40,706 --> 00:40:42,808 - hey, hey! 865 00:40:42,841 --> 00:40:45,811 [dance music] 866 00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:48,013 * 867 00:40:48,046 --> 00:40:51,817 - * I'm gonna take All your love * 868 00:40:51,850 --> 00:40:55,220 * 869 00:40:55,253 --> 00:40:56,822 * I'm gonna take All your love * 870 00:40:56,855 --> 00:40:58,824 - I'll have What my friend is having. 871 00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:00,992 - sure. 872 00:41:10,869 --> 00:41:12,571 - so I've been thinking About going blond. 873 00:41:12,604 --> 00:41:16,174 The sort of silvery-platinum Shade madonna was 874 00:41:16,207 --> 00:41:22,180 Pre blond ambition Post dick tracy. 875 00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:28,186 - I think that's the worst Fucking idea I've ever heard. 876 00:41:28,219 --> 00:41:31,256 - I knew you would. 877 00:41:31,289 --> 00:41:38,296 * 878 00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:42,801 [indistinct chatter] 879 00:41:44,903 --> 00:41:47,539 - when my dad used To take me bird hunting, 880 00:41:47,573 --> 00:41:50,175 The first thing we'd do to flush Them out was beat the bushes. 881 00:41:50,208 --> 00:41:52,010 - how do we do that? - over here. 882 00:41:52,043 --> 00:41:54,546 - like this. - what-- 883 00:41:54,580 --> 00:41:56,682 - come on. 884 00:42:03,589 --> 00:42:05,557 - [snorts] Christ. 885 00:42:05,591 --> 00:42:07,926 - excuse me? - huh? 886 00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:10,161 - I thought you said something About my friend and me. 887 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:13,632 - yeah, get a room. 888 00:42:13,665 --> 00:42:16,034 - do you have a problem, sir, With our kissing? 889 00:42:16,067 --> 00:42:17,836 - no, you do. 890 00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:19,771 You're in the wrong part Of town. 891 00:42:19,805 --> 00:42:23,642 So why don't you go back To where you belong? 892 00:42:23,675 --> 00:42:26,044 - last I heard, we were still Living in a democracy. 893 00:42:26,077 --> 00:42:30,649 When did they pass out The pink triangles? 894 00:42:30,682 --> 00:42:32,083 - fuck off. 895 00:42:32,117 --> 00:42:33,652 - you got a problem, asshole? 896 00:42:33,685 --> 00:42:34,920 - [scoffs] 897 00:42:34,953 --> 00:42:37,188 - I asked if you had a problem! 898 00:42:37,222 --> 00:42:40,191 - yeah. You fucking fags Should all get aids and die! 899 00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:42,260 - someone else once Said that to me. 900 00:42:42,293 --> 00:42:43,929 - [groans] 901 00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:46,932 [understanding the new violence By uncut] 902 00:42:46,965 --> 00:42:54,873 * 903 00:42:58,143 --> 00:43:01,980 - * this is the new violence 904 00:43:02,013 --> 00:43:05,350 * this is The new violence * 905 00:43:05,383 --> 00:43:11,222 * this is the new violence 906 00:43:11,256 --> 00:43:12,824 * violence 907 00:43:12,858 --> 00:43:16,094 * this is the new violence 908 00:43:16,127 --> 00:43:19,731 * this is The new violence * 909 00:43:19,765 --> 00:43:25,370 * this is the new violence 910 00:43:25,403 --> 00:43:27,839 * violence 911 00:43:27,873 --> 00:43:33,845 * 912 00:43:33,879 --> 00:43:37,382 * no decision you make 913 00:43:37,415 --> 00:43:40,719 * strange and naive 914 00:43:40,752 --> 00:43:44,656 * complacent disattachment 915 00:43:44,690 --> 00:43:48,126 * weakness is his disease 916 00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:51,797 * automatic you brought 917 00:43:51,830 --> 00:43:55,300 * no decision to make 918 00:43:55,333 --> 00:43:58,770 * first red then blue 919 00:43:58,804 --> 00:44:02,307 * the round passes the breach 920 00:44:02,340 --> 00:44:05,944 * this is the new violence 921 00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:09,681 * this is The new violence * 922 00:44:09,715 --> 00:44:15,220 * this is the new violence 923 00:44:15,253 --> 00:44:16,755 * violence 924 00:44:16,788 --> 00:44:20,091 * this is the new violence 925 00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:23,695 * this is The new violence * 926 00:44:23,729 --> 00:44:29,234 * this is the new violence 927 00:44:29,267 --> 00:44:30,435 * violence 928 00:44:30,468 --> 00:44:34,205 * this is the new violence 929 00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:37,909 * this is The new violence * 930 00:44:37,943 --> 00:44:41,913 * this is the new violence 931 00:44:41,947 --> 00:44:42,848 * violence 64629

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