All language subtitles for J.M.S.L.o.I.s01e01

Hello.

These days I spend more and more time in
my Wiltshire home.

And the pub I own.

Thinking about all the big problems in
the world.

And some smaller ones that annoy me.

Luckily there's a place I can go to
solve them all. Or at least try.

My shed.

Right.

It's here that I have the tools. Let's
just throw some wood up. The tea.

And a couple of other highly competent
blokes.

Very good.

Brace yourself.

Who've agreed to help me rid the world
of problems.

Is she getting a ticket out?

Great. And small.

The cereal has gone soggy. I'll also
have to take on other people's problems.

What is wrong with Peter?

He used to make a sound and now he
doesn't.

By which I mean the locals at my pub who
are always bringing me stuff to mend.

Is it a train set?

So join us and our excitable crew...
..who will capture our endeavour...

That was epic!

..as we create... ..make... That feels
like a terrible thing we've just done.

..repair... So it's never worked.

Not in my lifetime.

..and repurpose...

In my shedload of ideas. What do you
think? This is just brilliant.

Ah, Wiltshire. A peaceful haven in the
west country of England.

Do not be deceived. This is a nerve
centre with horses, where I plan to

the nation's biggest issues.

First on my list, something guaranteed
to inflame the indignant passions of

Englishmen and women nationwide.

Well, that'll earn you.

The yellow square of shame.

Oh, it's the worst feeling in the world.

This, viewers, is a parking ticket.

Last year alone, 14 .5 million of these
were slapped on windscreens up and down

the country.

That's... Two every second.

But some parking tickets are more
frustrating than others, as our sound

Dan, has just experienced.

Awful. There's a sense that the system
has beaten you. The man has got you.

However, just out of interest, Dan, how
long had you paid to park?

I paid to park for an hour. And when was
that issued?

five minutes after the time yeah and
there you go you see what a lot of

don't realize is that there is a 10
minute grace period if you pay for

of half an hour or more there is 10
minutes beyond that in which a traffic

warden may not issue a ticket at least
not legally and a lot of people don't

realize this and more importantly a lot
of traffic wardens don't realise this.

So, what we're going to do is devise a
system that warns traffic wardens of

piece of legislation and make sure they
don't issue a parking ticket when they

are not permitted to.

The law is an ass.

Of the 93 ,000 people who challenged a
parking ticket in 2023, nearly half were

successful and had their fine
overturned.

But if thousands of tickets are
incorrectly issued each year by traffic

something must be done.

And it's going to take three men to find
a solution in a shed.

Bringing the brains.

That means the winner is Sim.

My engineering pal of 20 years, Simmy.

We're going to make it better, though.

Simmy can juggle anything I throw at
him.

Almost.

And my other mate is a handyman who
calls himself Tony the Tool.

That's the job for you, Tony.

He's good with wood. It's many miles
off, so you can chisel in.

And game for just about anything.

Tell my children I love them.

As for me, I provide the shed and the
fantastic hair.

Gentlemen and crew, assemble.

We're all ready, as usual.

Right, viewers, the fight back against
traffic wardens who don't understand the

very legislation they are there to
enforce. Nothing else starts here. And

going to involve a bit of woodwork, and
it's going to involve some electronics

and a timer and a sensor and one of
these, a megaphone.

That's quite loud. That was quite loud.

We have in mind a rooftop traffic warden
warning system for my car, where a sign

pops up... That's a Series 1 Panda
you've drawn. Mine's a Series 3.

And the legislation is read aloud if the
sensor detects a ticket issued within

the ten -minute grace period.

Right, the exact wording is quite
tedious, but...

Given that it's a law, it probably needs
to be displayed in full. So I think we

might as well make it almost as big as
the roof of the car.

And then it would go... And then this
would go... I say, traffic warden,

full details of the law are displayed in
front of you on the sign that just

popped up.

Now, until ten minutes are up.

Something like that. Yeah.

Right, I will read it to you, but you
can see just how verbose it is. The

Secretary of State, in exercise of the
powers conferred by Sections 72, 73, 3

and 89, which was called A but is now
called 1, no penalty charge is payable

the contravention where the vehicle has
been left beyond the permitted parking

period for a period not exceeding 10
minutes. There it is. That's the law,

it's signed by Eric Pickles.

I met Eric Pickles once. He was
tremendous.

Born 20th April 1952. Parents, Constance
Joyce Pickles and Jack Brownstone

Pickles. Brownstone Pickles?

No, that's a joke. No, I made that up,
Lottie.

Right,

shall we do some woodwork? Let's go to
the chop saw.

While Sim engineers a sensor to detect a
parking ticket and a timer to set the

grace period...

Tony and I tackle the frame.

Hands clear.

Contact.

For our plan to work, we need a sign
that pops up only when a ticket is

within that magic ten minutes.

Let's get it to length first.

And is big enough to display the letter
of the law to the letter.

Are you thinking of just screwing that
together?

For time, yes.

That's pretty good, actually.

So that's the basic frame built.

Next, we need to give our legalese some
lift.

So you're going to hinge it here when
it's released.

So it pivots from there.

How do we wind it?

I don't know.

While super -brain Simi scratches his
head...

I take the opportunity to enjoy a nice
relaxing cup of tea under my favourite

tree.

When I eventually return to the shed,
Simmy has made what looks like a sort of

cat's cradle for blokes.

Now I need to tie those, and that's got
to go through there.

And then you tie that.

However, they all need to be the same
length.

Simi has decided to use something
designed for torsion weapons before

were invented, also known as...
Tourniquet.

Oh, it's a tourniquet. A tourniquet. But
it has to be a precise length, which

requires tying a precise knot in a
precise place.

Were you in the Scouts, anyone?

I wasn't. I wasn't.

Were you in the Scouts? No.

You'll have heard of the tourniquet you
might tie if, for example, you've cut

off your own leg and are bleeding to
death.

You pull that all the way through there.

This tourniquet is how medieval boy
scouts used to fire projectiles. Huge

of string.

Before giant springs were invented,
trebuchets and crossbows used tightly

twisted rope, which stores up energy.

When released, it's powerful enough to
launch whatever you want at whoever you

don't like.

So we've both got a free end.

So we could tie that through there and
then tie it in the middle. So the

being in a continuous loop, when
twisted, string becomes spring.

We hope that the power stored in this
tourniquet, once we wind it up, will be

enough to lift our giant fine.

That's a terrible knot for me. No, no,
it's just a knot -up.

So they say in the Navy, if you can't
tie a knot, tie a lot.

Simi, do you think this will work?

Possibly. Possibly. But if it doesn't
work, we're back to square one.

It's definitely working.

It's medieval science. It is, but
there's a lot of tension going on around

And it could just all implode. But I
think we should wind it up.

and we will see.

Okay, well, why don't you two wind it
up.

Simi and Tony, using their immense
strength, have wound this about as

they can.

Just a few final tweaks with our 14th
century angle grinder.

And Simi's antediluvian hammer.

Okay, stand back, everybody, because I'm
going to release the vertical component

of the sign lifter. Are you ready?

No. Everybody ready on cameras?

In three, two, one.

Welcome back to Wiltshire and the war
against

erroneous parking tickets.

We have built a rooftop frame for my
car, onto which we'll fix a giant

of the legislation.

Now we're about to test the tourniquet
that lifts it up.

Once the camera crew have sorted
themselves out... OK,

so we need to build up this.

And action.

Simi, do you think this will work?

Possibly. By releasing the tightly wound
ropes, we hope the stored energy will

be enough to raise the sign.

Everybody ready on cameras?

In three, two, one...

Huzzah! They say in medieval time.

Are you happy? Yes. I like the elegance
of it. And it's historical as well. It

has historical context.

So, with some wood and some string, the
materials that were used by our

forebears, by our great, great, great,
great, great, great, great grandfathers,

plus an impact driver and an ankle
grinder.

We are ready to end that dark period in
history that has come to be known as the

erroneous parking ticket issued during
the ten -minute grace period in

accordance with subsection B of the Road
Traffic Act Amendment of 2015.

Excellent work, men.

Very good. Let's finish it off.

While Tony finishes the frame and
installs the sign,

I'm off for a moment of quiet
reflection.

I'm very fortunate to call Wiltshire my
home.

I'm even more fortunate to have my own
pub.

Morning!

But it's not all IPA and me time.

Sometimes, such as today, I come to the
pub to have a quiet... pint and

contemplate my good luck in life and
somebody will come up to me with some

knackered priceless sentimental family
heirloom and say oh james could you just

mend this yes the downside of the locals
knowing you have a pub and a penchant

for tinkering is they also know where to
ambush you

And sure enough, no sooner had Sim
joined me in the garden than local Roger

turns up with his grandfather's
clockwork boat.

First saw it when I was about six, seven
years old. My grandfather said, I've

got this for you.

When I get it working, you shall have
it.

17 years later, when he died and I was
clearing out his cupboard, I found that

in the back of the drawer.

So it's never worked? Not in my
lifetime.

Have you had it in water?

I've put it in the water and pushed it,
but never. Oh, OK.

Oh, we need to get that open and have a
look. Well, as it happens, my toolkit is

always to hand.

What about my long carburettor
screwdriver, which gives you good

at that. That is a nice screwdriver.
That is a nice screwdriver.

So have you ever taken it apart?

No, no.

My grandfather was something of a
perfectionist.

And I felt if I messed it up, it would
be on my head and I shall regret it. I

can see that it's clockwork because I
can see the square shaft that the key

on, but you don't have the key and
you've never had the key. Never had a

with it, no. So this has never worked in
your lifetime, Roger.

Do you mind if I ask how old you are
now?

78. So this is coming off for the first
time in at least 72 years.

Ooh. Oh, look at that.

Can you see this film crew? That is a...

So the Germans were exceptionally good
at, this is a wooden boat, but they were

good at tin toys, clockwork and so on in
the 1920s and 30s. In fact, they were

probably the world leaders at that sort
of thing. So I'm expecting something

quite exquisite.

Yeah, the spring looks to be intact.

I think you've probably bashed that prop
a few times, haven't you, Roger? I

should think so, yeah.

So I think all we really need to do with
that, Sim, is take the motor out.

possibly strip it, clean it, lube it,
straighten the proper bit, do a little

of reshaping on this, but without
altering the patina, put it back

And there's your boat, sir. What are you
going to do with it?

Find a pond and take my grandchildren
along as a memento of their great -great

-grandfather. Great, yes.

Great -great -grandfather.

Reluctantly, Simi and I leave our pints
and head back to the shed.

to see if we can bring Roger's
grandfather's boat back to life.

So, viewers, we're going to make a key,
but we do know that it works because we

wound it with a pair of slip pliers.

Other problems are the rudder is not
properly attached, the propeller is

misshapen, but most importantly, we need
to take the motor out and give it a

jolly good clean, and that's why... Ha
-ha!

Our new favourite thing.

First, we need to remove that exquisite
clockwork motor. Oh, that is turning.

For the first time since it went in
there.

Yeah.

Right.

Don't let me let go of it, otherwise...
Keep your fingers out of the way.

What's that?

It's not much wrong with that, to be
honest.

This is my ultrasonic cleaner.

It's full of a cleansing fluid, and in
essence, it explodes a load of bubbles

the surface of things, and that knocks
the dirt off.

It's going in.

Let's see what that does.

While the ultrasonic cleaner cleans
ultrasonically, it's a little bit stiff.

We try and straighten the rudder. Not
bad.

Right, the ultrasonic cleaner's
finished.

Ooh, that's clean.

That's much better.

Ten minutes to dry it off.

Right, whilst that's happening... Ooh,
that did something.

That'll do, come to the cry of the
perfectionist down the ages.

Time to refit the spotless motor.

There you go.

Right, here they come to you.

No, there's the hole there.

You see that one? Yeah.

There you are. It's in.

The boat is back together and greatly
improved.

The brake now works. The rudder is now
straight and it is settable.

That's nice.

Which is really nice.

That hasn't been like that for a very
long time.

And then it's, well, we've got to make a
key.

Yep. But then she's ready for sea
trials, which will be a pond or a bar.

To make the key for Roger's
grandfather's clockwork boat, we need

Stay where?

Action.

I start by facing off the brass rod,
then drilling a hole in the centre to

required depth.

For that, one, two, three, four, seven,
eight, seven, nine.

So what I've done there, viewers, is
lathe work page one.

I've faced off a piece of brass, drilled
a hole through it, parted it off and

faced off the other end. That's just
about the simplest thing you can do on a

lathe, isn't it? There is a round hole
going through a piece of brass, but Simi

is now going to turn that into a square
hole using the skill of the

craftsperson. Whilst you work on that,
I'm going to open my special broad

-necked flask, which has a...

Folding spoon.

Very good.

I'm not going to show you what's in
here, because it's a secret.

My favourite.

Back in a minute.

Very good.

Whilst I tuck into my secret lunch,
Simmy files the round hole so it can fit

square peg.

James? Yeah?

I think I've done your key.

That was quick.

Well, I could have been quicker, but...
It was beautiful, man.

Actually, what would be quite nice is to
just put a knurled knob on the top.

Ooh. Because then it's very individual.
It's very personalised. I can do you a

knurled knob.

To successfully knurl a knob, I need a
special knurling tool.

Knurling is a cross -hatched pattern
that makes things grippy.

Yeah, that is knurling.

OK, I'm going to go for it.

It's quite nice, isn't it?

Next, I drill a hole in the centre to
accept the bit we've already made.

Job well done.

All that's left to do is solder the two
pieces together.

There we go, there we go.

You got it.

Is it done?

Yep.

Beautiful.

That...

It is still actually quite warm when
you've been holding it for several

Even hot. Yeah, that bit's probably a
little hotter.

So I'll say very quickly that I think
we've achieved greatness there, and that

looks fabulous, and I hope Roger
appreciates it.

Now, if there's one thing I love more
than my lathe, it's pubs.

I love them so much, I bought one.

Pubs are a very tough business.

That's why so many are closing.

So those of us with successful surviving
pubs have to think constantly about how

to keep costs down without compromising
quality.

Today, I'm concerned with the cost of
producing chips, a staple of pubs

everywhere, but with the potential to
ruin the whole business.

This is Mark, one of the chefs at the
Royal Oak Swallow Club, just off the A30

between Shaftesbury and Salisbury.

And he makes chips.

He doesn't only make chips, he makes all
sorts of delicious things, but he does

spend quite a lot of his time making the
chips. How many potatoes do you think

you turn into chips in a week? We do
about five or six bags. There's about

potatoes in a bag. So thousands of
potatoes.

Turned into chips every week? By hand.

Wow.

Anyway, the pub would like me to buy
them a chip -making machine, which I

costs about 450 quid, isn't it? That'd
be great.

Yeah. But what if there's another way?

What if there is a money -saving,
engineering -based solution?

Sim and Tony think they may have one.

Leaves frame in a tantalising way.

I wonder what they're cooking up.

And will their idea be as good as mine?

It's a bit of overkill for a potato,
isn't it?

The British pub teeters on the verge of
extinction, all

because of chips.

It's either hours of cutting them by
hand, or a prohibitively expensive chip

-making machine.

We are trying to save time and cut costs
whilst chopping chips.

So, Simi and Tony think the answer is a
tennis bat. This is a perfectly standard

one. It's not been replaced with cheese
wire or anything. It's just normal nylon

strings. And the idea is that you hit
the potato and the potato comes out of

other side as chips.

How should we try it?

Underarm serve.

Can we just question... I can sort of
work.

What? I don't... You've got a rock -hard
potato and quite a top -string tennis

racket. The crew are very cynical about
the tennis racket method. I don't see

why it wouldn't work.

I mean, it's no more remarkable than
cutting up a big piece of cheese in a

supermarket with a... I know that's a
wire and these are nylon, but they're

taut. You need to hit that with some
gusto, though.

I'll serve it to you here.

Right. And if you hit it with a four,
I'm smart.

Okay.

Hey.

Look.

That's a perfect chip. That's a chip.

And that's a chip.

That one. Look at that. Look at those
chips.

They're chips.

To whom should I show these?

Right. Our work here is done.

Can I just say that if I showed you
those in the kitchen of my house, you'd

oh, James has made some chips.

No doubt about it whatsoever, those are
chips. And everybody on this crew said,

no, a tennis racket won't work. Well, it
does.

They've got grass in them, I accept
that, but nevertheless... Collection of

chips is a bit of an issue. If I go in
and say, I'd like steak and chips,

please, somebody has to go and walk
around a field for half an hour picking

chips up.

Is there a way of making this more
contained, more repeatable?

Can we attach something on the back of
the tennis racket to catch them?

it would slow the tennis racket down
because of drag, unless it was a net.

is there a way of fixing the tennis
racket and throwing the potatoes at it?

Yeah, we could do that. And then put a
bucket behind and you just get a bucket

of chips.

Yeah.

After a brief interlude to gather some
more equipment...

We return with our potato chipper
version 2 .0.

Which is a mounted tennis bat and a
cannon.

All we need now is a method behind here
for collecting the chips as they fly

through. So you just go bang, bang,
bang, walk back to the pub with a

tub of chips.

Easy. That can simply sit there and
catch all the chips.

For maximised ballistic effect, we've
cut the potatoes to the same size as the

bore of the cannon.

Clever.

Cue the inevitable lecture in health and
safety.

It's a very high -speed cannon and a
very heavy potato.

The crew of HMS Victory didn't wear
safety goggles.

Nelson would be alive and well today if
he had.

Well, he did lose an eye, didn't he?

The power behind our super -sized spud
gun is Simi's air compressor, also

for inflating beach toys.

Simi is loading.

Tony is firing. I'm aiming.

Glasses on. Glasses on.

That's four bar. Well tapped, Tony.

Ready? Yep. Fire in the hole.

Those are chips.

Chips, man!

Loads of chips.

That works. That is the beginnings of a
big bucket of chips.

All we need now is a few more potatoes.

That's a potato.

And our slow -mo camera.

I think you just killed the GoPro.

If the word gets out that the Royal Oak
is producing chips in a novel way, it

will become even more busy and popular
than it already is. And I don't think

that's very efficient. But I suddenly
remembered. If you two wait there.

What's that?

What the?

My high -power answer to chipping
potatoes is a rather lovely burnt orange

-ton, 55 -horsepower diesel wood
chipper.

Capable of chipping eight -inch locks.

It's a bit of overkill for a potato,
isn't it?

And therefore a King Edward.

What do you think? It has the word chip.

Will it fit in the kitchen?

No.

It will fit in the garden or the car
park.

And this will make chips on an
industrial scale.

So that goes roughly there.

Ready? Ready.

Feed in the potatoes.

Well.

I'm not quite sure what you'd call that.

That looks like when you make a potato
what, sir?

Rosti. Thank you.

That'd make a fantastic rosti, that.

This is field to fork.

That is quite literally off the field
there.

I can pretty much guarantee that when we
take those into the kitchen and give

them to Mark, he's going to have a small
tantrum.

So, will Mark agree that we've come up
with a fantastic alternative to the £450

chip -making machine?

They look like you've kicked them around
the car park.

Well, we sort of did, in a way, all
around the field. These are my chips.

Those are pure tennis racket chips.
These are Simi's chips, which are tennis

racket and air cannon. And these are
Tony's chips and potato mush.

Keep the grass, everything.

As is, au naturel. I don't know what to
say. I think my daughter did something

like this when she was about two.

While Mark prepares our new low -cost,
no -chop chips, we reward our

efforts with a nice, refreshing pint of
lemonade.

I used to play this with my brother when
I was, I don't know, eight or nine, and

he was six or seven. This is just plain
lemonade, and the game is who can put

their tongue in it for the longest.

Sure.

Is this what you used to play?

Yeah, maybe you're more sensitive as a
child, but after about 15 or 20 seconds

it starts to hurt, believe it or not.

Right, you ready? Yeah. In three, two,
one, go.

You might be forgiven for thinking this
is just three grown men with their

tongues stuck in pints of lemonade.

We're actually testing our endurance to
carbonic acid, which is what gives the

lemonade its fill.

Wow. I like it.

It hurts, doesn't it?

Oh, we have a winner.

Tony!

That looks so good.

Isn't that weird? Why does it hurt your
tongue?

I don't know. And how did we discover
that?

So, Tony's best at sticking his tongue
in lemonade.

But now, back to chips.

Have we saved Chef Mark time and the
Royal Oak money?

That's nice.

Thank you. With grad.

They look good.

All right, good.

These are nice, fluffy.

Great. Good news and bad news, viewers.
The good news is... My chips are as

cheap as chips.

The bad news, however... Has a slight.

Tennessee quality, too.

I don't like the grass.

I think I've got to buy the chip -making
machine, if I'm really honest.

You've wolfed that, Tony. The chips are
beautiful.

So, £450 lighter, but with a happy chef.

It's time to return to the bane of all
our lives.

We've built a pop -up frame for my car
to remind ticket -happy traffic wardens

of the law.

Huzzah, they say in medieval times.

Next, the tech that triggers the warning
device.

Simi has devised a system using two
timers.

The switch from the one -hour timer
could effectively be a solenoid to

the second timer.

An electromagnet.

Yes. I like an electromagnet. And
something called a PIR sensor.

Passive infrared.

The sort of thing that controls your
security lights when somebody walks

Time to fit the rig onto my panda.

If the PIR sensor detects unauthorised
movement on the windscreen within the

minute grace period, my rooftop
contraption will unleash legislative

Right, I now have to record the words.

I think I might only have one shot at
this.

Here we go. Is everybody ready?

Now hear this, Traffic Warden, Road
Traffic England, the Civil Enforcement

Parking Contraventions England General
Amendment Regulations 2015.

And in the time it takes for me to read
the legislation in full, that's five

more parking tickets that we could have
saved. And that is because...

No penalty charge is payable for the
contravention where the vehicle has been

left beyond the permitted parking period
for a period not exceeding ten minutes.

Got it? That's from Eric Pickles,
Secretary of State, Department of

Communities and Local Government.

Good. Right. Let's go.

Timmy, Tony, go on, we're going
shopping.

We're going up to town.

Ooh, you can have an ice cream if you
want.

Road trip.

Are we there yet?

Nearly.

So, how will the unsuspecting locals
react when our parking legislation

panda rolls into town?

For legislation lovers everywhere, the
big day has arrived.

Exciting. It is quite exciting. Yeah.

We're off to my local town, Tisbury,
where we will road test our traffic

warning device.

Normally you go to town in the car and
you think, oh, I hope I don't get a

parking ticket.

But we hope we do get a parking ticket.

Or at least we hope we get a parking
ticket in the ten minutes between the

expiration of the allotted parking time
and the ten minute window that's been

inserted into the regulations in April
2015.

By Judge Eric Pickles.

Spay. Oh, perfect.

There.

That's a terrible bit of parking.

That is awful bit of parking, James.

Yeah. I cocked that out, didn't I? I've
got to be clever.

Right, a quick reminder of how this
works. Obviously, this is a prototype.

it's ever included as an option on new
cars, it'll be quite a bit more refined.

But... Essentially, there are two timers
in this unit here, and the display

comes up here with the timer lapse. I'm
going to set this for one hour, because

that's how much parking I'm about to pay
for.

At the end of an hour, it switches over
to this circuit, which displays a

countdown of ten minutes on there.
During that ten -minute period, the PIR

sensor is active, and if anybody tries
to put a ticket on the car, the message

will crop up, and my voice will come out
of the megaphone warning them that

they're... actually on the wrong side of
the law. So I'm just going to finish

paying for the parking for one hour and
started and turn the system on

and we're off to the hardware shop.

MyPanda is a ticking time bomb of
electromagnets, tourniquets and the law.

Just waiting for a ticket -happy traffic
warden.

or a member of the production team in a
high -vis.

But in the meantime... This is Coffee
Angels, where you get an excellent bacon

and egg roll.

The Chinese is good, if you're in on
your own watching Where Eagles Dare.

Hardware's on the right.

Oh, look, the thermos with the little
spoon in.

Look, screwdrivers.

Everything you could possibly want.

It turns out time flies when you're
three blokes looking at tools.

You don't need a tape measure. No, I
like tape measures.

With just five minutes until the panda
is armed, it's time

to take our positions.

Let's have a nice refreshing cup of tea
and observe our car.

With our Traffic Warden Flash team
member lurking,

The time is upon us to see if our
prototype warning system works.

Is she getting the ticket out?

Wait for it.

It's like the sails of the Cutting Sark.

Now hear this, traffic warden, road
traffic England, the civil enforcement

parking contraventions England general
amendment regulations 2015.

The regulations in full.

These regulations may be cycled as the
civil enforcement of parking

contraventions England general
amendment.

That's never happened before, has it? A
great big sign has erected itself on the

top of a car.

That looks fantastic.

The locals are out in their tens to feed
Tisbury, assume its rightful place in

the annals of history, thanks to the
launch of our traffic warden warning

device.

It's quite elaborate, but it worked.

No penalty charge is...

for the contravention where the vehicle
has been left beyond the permitted

parking period for a period not
exceeding ten minutes. Got it? That's

Eric Pickles, Secretary of State,
Department of Communities and Local

Government.

Yay!

That's so good!

That is...

A victory for common sense, it's a
victory for the motorist, it's a victory

the rule of law, and it's a victory for
our hero, Eric Pickles.

Thank you, sir.

We've still got to move in the next six
and a half minutes.

So, we've seen off one ticket -happy
traffic warden.

Now I've got to see a man about a boat.

You see, there's only one thing better
than mending something like a broken

clockwork toy, and that's reuniting it
with its owner, like Roger here.

Good afternoon, sir.

How are you? I'm fine, thank you. Good
to see you again.

Here is your boat.

Wow. OK, would you like us to tell you
what we've done?

I'd love to know what you've done.

Removed.

Ultrasonically cleaned, serviced and re
-lubricated the engine, reshaped the

prop. That looks a lot better.

Yes.

Reattached the rudder to a reshaped
tiller, which now locks into position on

that bar, which it didn't do previously.
And you've never had a key for it. I'm

afraid I don't have a key now.

Well, you have now.

Fantastic.

But is Roger's grandfather's toy boat
ship -shape and pond -worthy?

So what we thought we could do, since
you've never been able to do this, is

can wind it, set the rudder, Simmy will
row out in the little boat to the middle

of the lake, you can send it to him, and
then he can rewind it and send it back

so that it emerges as if from your
incomplete childhood, crewed by the

of your forebears.

Only 72 years after it was given to me.
That is fantastic.

This boat is overdue, but it is coming.

OK, Timmy, off you go in the boat.

You wind her up, sir.

It's quite a big spring, it turns out.

So you place it in the water, simply
push that aside and release, and don't

in the lake.

Amy's at the boat.

Wow.

Yes. Fantastic.

That's absolutely fantastic.

Oh. I think it's got weed on the
propeller.

Do you believe that?

That was so fantastic for a few seconds.
It was... I'm sorry. It was obviously

doing what it was intended to do.

That's further than it's ever been
before.

In my... Since I've owned it.

Oh, God.

Right, Simmy will now send it back. It
has to avoid the weed, the duck, the

and the weight of history.

Simmy, let her go.

There we go. Like right right up it.

That's fantastic.

Incredible. Oh, look.

There she comes.

That lake is a whole ocean to that
little toy boat.

That's its longest voyage so far.

Yes.

I hope your grandfather is suitably
pleased.

I'm sure he'll be spinning in his grave
to know that finally it's got on the

water and works.

That's just incredible.

Absolutely marvellous.

I'm feeling slightly moved.

Your boat, sir.

Thank you so much. I'm absolutely
thrilled, delighted.

And I think my grandchildren are going
to enjoy this very much.

Excellent. Well, thank you very much for
giving us the opportunity to mend it.

So that's a win for my pub -based
community mending programme.

And one jolly Roger.

Sam, are you going to come back or are
you just going to row around all day?

Why just row around all day?

It's quite nice.

Do you want a pork pie? I've got one for
you.

I'd love a pork pie.