Original subtitles

I want to be with you, you know that's true.

I know you want me like I want you.

I've told you about it a million times before.

My engine's running, baby, real hot.

Are you ready for deep throat?

Deep throat. This fire's burning, baby.

It's uncontrolled.

Don't fight the feeling, baby. Deep throat.

Deep throat. Can you handle it?

Don't fight it. Don't fight it. Fight the feeling. Fight the feeling. I want

all from you.

So why don't you just run it baby?

Are we ready, Dr. Gross?

We're ready. And can we make this snappy? I have a racquetball game in an

and a half.

Dr. Johnson?

Yes, doctor.

All right, let's get her under.

Okay, my dear. What I would like you to do is slowly count backwards from 100

with me.

Okay? Slowly.

Here we go. Starting.

Ninety -seven bottles of beer on the wall Ninety -seven bottles of beer

If one of those bottles should have to fall

Ninety -six bottles of beer

No, Paul.

Now?

Now.

Oh, good. You let me get you drunk so tomorrow you can say you didn't know

you were doing.

Hush. I'm not drunk.

I'm happy and I'm ecstatic and I'm giddy, but I'm not drunk. I just want to

love to you, so that's all.

And hate me in the morning.

Well, if you want me to, I will.

Listen, Laura.

I love you like I never loved anybody before.

And I don't want to take the chance of messing up everything you mean to me.

Well, I'm not ready to get serious. You know that, Paul. But, you know, I'm just

too young and wild. You know?

But I just decided that I want to make love to you.

Now, do you or don't you want to make love to me?

We can't take questions.

What more do you want?

Come here.

Is there something wrong, baby?

I don't know. I just thought it would be funny or something.

Do you want to try something else?

No, I want to do this some more.

Really?

Yeah.

You okay?

Mm -hmm.

No.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh, man.

Can I help you?

Yes, I'm Laura Carson. You see Dr. Lovelock?

Oh, yes, of course.

If you've never been here before, we'd like you to fill out the standards of

Greek medical history.

If you have been here before, just sign in.

my feet have been here before well the doctor will be with you in just a few

moments he'll be detained for a little while have a seat

Thank you.

Thank you.

time. Told you before, Ramona, that it's not healthy for you to wait too long

for things.

If that itch persists, call me and we'll take care of it right away.

Okay. Thank you, doctor.

You're very welcome.

You have a patient waiting.

Your comb.

Oh, thank you.

Give me a couple minutes just to freshen up and comb my hair and send her in.

Okay.

The doctor will see you now.

Hmm.

Well, Miss Carson, apart from an apparent throat infection,

you are physically in great shape.

A throat infection?

That could explain why I couldn't go down on... I mean... I beg your pardon.

didn't catch that.

I mean... I've had some difficulty swallowing lately. A throat infection

explain it, couldn't it?

Absolutely. But it was very minor. I didn't see any renders at all.

Have you had these infections before?

No. Just the other night.

I see.

Were you eating anything at the time?

Well, yeah, in a way I was.

My guess is that you have laryngitis deviatis.

A laryn what?

You've heard of a deviated septum.

That's like a crooked nose, right?

Well, close.

A deviated septum is an injury or even a small birth defect.

that causes the cartilage in the nose to block one of the breathing passages.

A small operation will usually cure it.

So you mean I have a crooked nose in my throat?

No.

Laryngitis deviatus is rare.

It just means that your larynx is a little bit larger than most.

It is an inherited trait.

If it becomes infected, it swells.

causes some swallowing difficulty.

Unless it gets infected often, I wouldn't worry about it.

Well, it's never happened before, so maybe it won't ever happen again. Thank

you, Doctor.

You're very welcome, Miss Carson.

I have a sample antibiotic.

Yeah.

I want you to take this antibiotic for a couple days.

If it doesn't clear up the problem, call me back.

Ramona will see you out.

I don't want to get hugged to death my first day here.

Micah, you don't know how happy I am to see a familiar face.

Tell me everything. How's Jerry? How's Florida?

Tell me everything.

Well, Florida's okay.

Uncle Jerry left with a bimbo. I miss you so much. I had to come see you, and

the flight was as smooth as glass.

Wait a minute. Stop.

Uncle Jerry left you? I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

He's happy, and it's freed me up to do all the things I've always wanted to do.

But what are you going to do? I mean, things cost money, and you've never

a day in your life.

Oh, that's no problem.

Jerry's rich, and he left me all the credit cards and told me to do whatever

like. Isn't that kind of cold?

Well, I guess it could be.

But I figure if I just sit around and mope, I'll die of boredom.

So my revenge...

is that I'm going to outlive him and spend a lot of his money doing it.

Well, I'm behind you 100%. I mean, if you two hadn't raised me after my

were killed, I probably would have grown up in an orphanage.

Everything I have is yours.

Don't be silly.

I'll just take the couch for a couple days.

No way, Jose.

I'll take the couch. You take my bedroom.

One thing my mother taught me is to never turn down free offers, so I'll

it. In the meantime, how about some dinner?

I'm sorry. You must be starving. I'll fix something right away.

The hell you will.

We're the most expensive restaurant in town.

You and I are having dinner on Jerry tonight.

Yes.

On American TV?

Deep throat?

Hey,

Hugo! Yo!

Where'd you get this tape?

I rented it.

You want to watch it?

No, thanks. I get the real girls.

So do I.

Speaking of which, got somebody coming over tonight.

Ah, so that's the great plan, huh?

Bring him over here, show him old Deep Throat, talk him into doing it to you.

Voila. Another perfect evening.

Yeah, another perfect... I like your way of thinking.

I hope she thinks that way, too.

So, uh, what do you got planned to do tonight?

Out somewhere.

I got to work till 2.

Oh, that's a shame, you know? I mean, it's a real pity you can't meet Cheryl.

It's a pity.

I bet.

Whoops, I got to get going.

Look. You say hello to Mary for me, will you?

It's Cheryl.

Asshole.

Cheryl.

Cheryl.

Goodbye.

Ladies, it's been a pleasure serving you.

I hope you enjoyed your meal.

I'll be back to collect the check in a few moments.

No, no, no. That won't be necessary.

How much should we leave for a tip?

I'd give him just as much as the dinner pot.

Yeah, $150 is not too much.

Yeah, of course not. That's fair.

There you go.

More than generous.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Very much.

I just gotta keep that receipt.

Why? Jerry's paying for it.

Let him keep track of it.

I kept track of everything I did for 20 years. Now it's his turn.

So tell me a little bit more about that boyfriend of yours.

Oh, Penny, he's not really my boyfriend.

But I think that he would like to be more of my boyfriend, actually.

So what's the problem?

Well, I'm just too young to settle down. I don't want to settle down with one

person yet.

Take it from somebody who's been there. Pick and choose carefully.

Oh, don't worry, Aunt Penny. I will.

I will.

Oh, by the way, if we get separated tonight, the key is underneath the rock

the door.

Under the rock near the door. Check.

That music takes me back a ways.

Did they have music back in Lithonia, Aunt Penny?

I'll thank you to keep your tongue, girl.

And how am I going to get picked up with you talking like that?

Aunt Penny.

Why don't you just call me sis for a while? Maybe I'll get lucky.

Okay, if that's what you want, sis.

Good day.

Don't wait up for me, kid.

Excuse me.

May I have a stand?

I think I'd like that. All right.

Why don't you let me get out of these pants?

It'll make it a lot easier for you.

Oh. Oh, Laura.

Oh, God. Oh,

Laura.

I want to taste a little bit of you, maybe.

Can I taste you too?

UGH!

Mommy's inside you, don't you, baby?

He was gay.

What the hell kind of town is this?

Good -looking guys have no right to be gay.

Laura! Are you here?

Laura!

She said to use her bed, and I think I will.

Look at that mouth.

Jesus. I wonder if I can do that.

Do you think?

No, you can't do that.

What do you mean? You know, I'm adventuresome. I mean, if I was given a

I think I might be able to do it.

No, you... Really?

You think you could do that?

Yeah, you're right. I probably couldn't.

No, no. You might be able to do it if you wanted to try it anyway.

If I wanted to try it.

Well, I'm...

It could be a challenge, of course. I mean, you might not be able to, but of

course you could give it a try and see.

I mean, that doesn't look that hard, actually.

Well, it looks pretty hard. Well, yeah, it looks really hard.

But it's interesting.

It feels interesting from both sides.

I think I want to give it a try.

I think it would low -down you give it a try.

You can, son.

You think you can, huh?

Wouldn't you like to find out?

I'll make you a bet.

If you can, I'll do something similar to you for a long time.

But I'm not going to have to pay off.

Why don't you just come over here?

Yeah?

What do you say?

Oh, goodness gracious.

I'm going to take these off now. Yes, ma 'am. I certainly will.

Yeah.

Laura. Laura.

He who has a taste is lost.

There. Don't be frightened.

It's Paul.

I couldn't stop thinking about the other night.

What are you doing in my bed?

I had to come over for some more.

If you want me to go, I will.

I will.

No, I don't think so.

Oh, please.

Oh, I like.

Oh, come on.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, deep throat, my God.

Swallow, I like, you know, I like.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, baby, yeah.

Oh.

I'm just tired. I'm just sleepy.

I'm just really tired, baby.

What are you doing here?

Will you cut the act, Penny?

He's the one who has him explaining to DuPaul.

Oh, Laura, give me a couple minutes, baby.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing in Laura's bed?

So, you never told him who you were and he never noticed the difference?

Never.

This isn't fair.

I was drunk.

I've only done it with you once.

How am I supposed to tell the difference?

Well, I guess we're just going to have to practice a little bit more, huh?

I'm sure, I guess.

Paul, why don't you get out of here? Me and Penny have things to talk about.

Yes, ma 'am.

Can I call you tonight?

Well, maybe.

Nice, Laura. And he's got such a big sausage.

Oh, I don't notice such things.

Like hell you don't. I saw the way you looked at that man who asked you to

dance.

Speaking of dancing, the last time I saw you, you were with some light -footed

wonder dancing around the dance floor like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. His

feet weren't the only thing that were light.

So were his intentions.

He dumped you?

Worst.

He didn't do anything to me, nothing at all, except talk to me all night about

his boyfriend.

He was gay? That's funny.

And so good -looking.

What a shame.

Well, at least your evening wasn't a total waste.

Waste? It was terrific.

Paul's a great lover. If you don't want him, let me know.

I do want him.

I... I just, um... Well...

Have you, um... Have what, Laura? Spit it out.

Well, it's awkward.

Um, I've never tried to talk to anybody about their personal sex lives. I

mean... I mean, it's so personal.

So, what is it you want to know if I did with Paul?

Well, did you, um... You know...

Did you suck on his, um, you know... Did I suck his dick? Is that what's

bothering you?

Not just his. I mean anyone's.

Ah, do I give good head.

I'm one of the best.

I like to give it, and guys love to get it.

It makes the rest of it so good.

But, um, what I mean is, do you enjoy it?

I don't follow you.

It's a great part of sex. It just goes right along with it.

No, that's not what I mean. I mean, does it turn you on?

Do I get off on it?

Not really, but it gets guys so hot, and that gets me hot.

How far can you take it?

Deep throat?

Laura, I haven't found the dick I couldn't take all the way yet.

Why?

I'm... I'm just wondering. I guess I just need more practice or something.

Well, darling, there's plenty of meat out there to practice on, and you're

young.

Welcome.

Oh, man.

Thank you.

Doctor, I thought you said she was under.

Not so fast, doctor. These things take a few minutes.

Can we get on with this?

You can't rush an anesthesiologist.

So you say your throat hasn't gotten any better?

No, if anything, it's gotten worse.

You know, it's so funny.

Funny? A sore throat is funny?

No, not that kind of funny.

What I mean is it feels kind of good. It does not hurt.

It's almost sensual.

Well, let me take a look.

Say ah.

Ah.

Other than a little redness, I don't see anything blocking the passage.

Can you swallow all right now?

No problem.

Strange, I've never seen an intermittent throat problem before.

Doctor, it's happening again.

Well, quickly, open up your mouth.

Oh, my God.

Your throat's so swollen, it's almost blocking off the breathing passage.

I've never seen anything like this.

Doctor, is it going to be okay?

I don't understand this.

The swelling went down almost as fast as it came up.

And you say this doesn't hurt?

Have you eaten anything this morning?

No, I came here as soon as I woke up.

I'm going to have to research this, Laura.

Quite frankly, I don't know what I'm dealing with.

Continue taking your antibiotics and I'll call you towards the end of the

Thank you, doctor.

I hope you can cure whatever it is.

I hope so too, Laura.

I hope so too.

Hello? Laura.

Hi, Dr. Lovelock here.

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

I can't seem to find your problem in any of my medical journals.

Oh, my God. What are we going to do?

I've discussed your problem with a colleague of mine who specializes in

disorders.

Excuse me one moment.

Sprite, we're going to get you an infomania therapy as soon as I finish

phone call, okay? So if you would...

Don't do that. So if you just wait in my reception area.

Thank you.

Um, where was I?

Oh, yes, my colleague, Dr. Gross.

Uh, well, yes, he thinks it's a tumor.

A tumor?

Oh, my God, is there anything we can do?

Well, he, uh, excuse me, Ms. Bright, don't do that.

Uh, he, he recommends exploratory surgery.

Surgery? Well, yes.

You see, it might be benign, the way it swells and shrinks so much. So

surgery is the only way to go.

Surgery? Is that really necessary?

Miss Bright, stop right now, okay? Look, Laura, let me explain something to you.

There's never a 100 % chance with surgery.

And there's always a chance that... Well, there's always a chance that...

Well, Larry said someone's cancer and that... Well, look, you're better off

having the voice box removed rather than lose your life.

Oh, my God.

Why don't you think about this for a couple of days and then come in and

talk about the arrangements, all right?

No, let's... Do it as soon as possible.

The longer I think about it, the more likely I am to back out.

Well, I thought you might feel that way, so I've made arrangements for you to go

into the hospital tonight.

Tonight? So soon?

Well, if we don't do it now, then we're going to have to wait a month, okay?

So look, check into the hospital by 7 p .m.

And look, we'll do this on an outpatient basis.

So you'll be home tomorrow.

Yeah, okay.

Bye.

Miss Bright, you know, I'm going to have to charge you for a double session.

That's all right, but I want twice the medical staff.

Ramona, would you come in here, please?

Yes,

Doctor, did you call me in here for assistance?

Yes, she needs two medical people in here.

Did you scrub up before today?

I'll take care of your Pam in a minute.

She's in a tough case.

Doctor, you should get a bigger office, you know?

Honey, would you like to sit down for a second?

That's right. You just make your little self at home here. Excuse me for just

one other second.

Here,

let me just pass right over here.

There you go, sweetheart.

There you go, honey. See?

That's a girl.

I can do the first one like this.

Thank you, Rona.

Is

she

okay, Doctor? She's fine.

the kind of therapies I love.

Oh,

yeah. Oh,

yeah.

Doctor, do you think it would be necessary for me to continue this

with Miss Bright?

Oh, doctor.

Wow.

Of course.

By the way, nurse, if you need me, I'll be in exam room number three.

Thank you, doctor.

And you might check on the front desk while you're out there.

And as for you, my dear, let's talk.

Would you like to step into my office?

All right.

name is Linda Bright?

Yeah. Do you have a very active sex life, Linda?

I try.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No, several girlfriends.

Well, you know, Linda, I think I'm going to have to take a closer look.

Oh, yeah.

Of course, you don't mind. No, not at all.

You know, honey, I think you're a little more active than you were letting on.

Oh, nurse, what makes you say that?

Oh.

Oh.

Uh -huh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Uh -huh.

Oh.

It feels quite warm.

Turn the temperature just a little higher.

Honey,

do you experience an orgasm daily?

Several times daily.

Several times daily?

Yeah. I need to make a note of that.

Good morning, hon. Why the long face?

Good morning, Aunt Penny.

I'm sorry, I just had something on my mind.

So what's on the agenda for today?

Well, I thought I'd make some reservations to go bother some other

You don't have any other relatives, Aunt Penny.

Well, there's always Jerry.

And maybe he's got that bimbo out of his system by now.

I love your outlook on life, Aunt Penny. Don't ever lose it, okay?

Never happen.

Well, I'd better go get packed now.

Um, Penny, will you do me a favor and stick around for another day or two? I

have to go on a short trip, and I'd like someone to stay around and watch the

house for me.

Sure, hon.

Does this mean I get to keep an eye on Paul, too?

Eyes only. Keep your hands off him.

Oh, that reminds me.

I was supposed to go out with him tonight.

If I write a note for him, would you mind delivering it to him for me? Be

to. Isn't your trip kind of sudden?

Nothing serious, I hope. I hope.

Yeah, you and me both.

Now, where did I put my pen?

Oh, Penny, come on in.

I told Laura I'd keep my hands off you.

But all bets are definitely off if you keep parading around like that.

Excuse me. I was going to go put some clothes on. I was just going to go pick

her up.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to pop the big question to her tonight.

Your timing's a little off because she's going to stand you up tonight.

How do you know this?

Well, she sent me to bring you a note.

How much has she told you about her past?

Well, that her mother and father are dead and...

She was raised by you and her uncle Jerry.

Why do you have this tape?

My roommate bought that over to seduce some girl.

I guess it worked.

You know, girl in the box has your eyes.

Probably. She was my older sister.

No kidding.

Then Laura's related to a porno star?

Was she an aunt or something like that?

I've kept it from her for so long.

I probably shouldn't have.

Shouldn't have what?

Shouldn't have kept her past from her.

The girl in the box is her mother.

No shit.

Is it true what they said in the movie, that her clit was in her throat?

Well, that part of the movie was true.

The rest of it was just a lot of Hollywood malarkey.

Oh, wait a minute. I almost forgot why I came.

It's the note.

My dearest Paul, I'm afraid I won't be able to make our date tonight because

going in for exploratory surgery at Good Samaritan Hospital.

The doctors think I may have a tumor at the bottom of my throat.

If it's malignant, they may have to remove my larynx along with the tumor.

Hopefully, everything will turn out okay and I'll be back with you in a couple

of days.

If not, remember that I love you. Hugs and kisses, Laura.

Listen, Paul.

I'm going to get really personal with you right now. And I hope you don't get

angry, but it's very important.

What happens to Laura when she gives you head?

Well, she gets all spazzy like she's losing her breath.

Like she's having an orgasm?

Yeah, like she's coming.

Oh, no.

I knew I should have told her. It may be too late now.

Should have told her what? Too late for what?

Don't you see? She's inherited it from her mother.

I don't understand.

There's no tumor in her throat.

That's her clitoris.

When she gets turned on, it swells up and blocks her throat.

That's the problem.

So she's going to the hospital to have her clitoris removed, thinking it's a

tumor?

Oh, Penny, come on. We gotta go.

Wait, don't you want any clothes or anything?

No, we don't got time. Come on.

There it is.

It looks small right now.

We probably caught it in time.

Scalpel.

Yeah, man, where are you going?

Look, nurse, it's very important. The girlfriend's in there. I have to get in

there. It's very important. Please.

Where are you? Please, Laura.

We had a little problem, but I've taken care of it.

No problem now.

What did he say?

I thought he said it wasn't a tumor.

It's her clitoris.

That's what I thought he said. I saw that in a movie once.

Yeah, so did I.

Me too.

With my wife, of course. It was in a seminar I went to.

Purely scientific, of course.

I saw an adult either.

Never mind.

Doctor, examine her vaginal area.

Amazing.

No clitoris.

Amazing. It could be in her throat.

Look, it's swelling.

Her throat is closing.

And watch, it's opening and closing rhythmically.

Aha, there it is.

The clitoris just popped its head out.

Well, I'll be damned.

Quickly, get on the intercom and call the hospital rabbi here at once.

Is she going to die?

No, you idiot. The foreskin's too thick.

He's got to do a circumcision.

The usual Paul.

You know, girl, I think he's in love with you.

Yeah, I do, too. And the next time he asks me to marry him, I'm going to

Will you marry me?

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Paul delivered these personally this time.

Yes, I will.

Hey, don't shout. You'll hurt your throat.

No, the doctor said yesterday it was as good as new.

So what are you still doing in bed?

Just being lazy.

Okay, you two talk. I'm already late for a flight to Rio.

Wait a minute. You're going to be back for the wedding, aren't you? You can

me away, at least. Not as long as I have Jerry's credit card.

Bye. See you.

Bye.

And I cook it up.

So,

doctor says your throat's okay, huh?

Yeah, he gave me a clean bill of health, and the rabbi said that it was the

cleanest circumcision he's ever done.

And they said I could do anything I want.

Anything?

Anything. Watch.

Wow.