Original subtitles

Dad, you're in my shot.

Well, how about instead of spending all your time taking selfies yourself, you

get over here and help your old man get his tent set up a lot easier with two

people.

Nice one, Dad.

Okay, let's take this little step.

I'm so excited.

Almost there.

Almost there.

All right, you ready?

On my count. One, two, three.

What do you think?

I thought you were going to take us to the woods.

Well, I know we spoke about going to the woods and everything, but we realized

that Brock and I had this discussion.

In order for you to go out to the woods, we've got to get you started in the

backyard with the tent before you get out on some real adventures.

Practice, practice, practice.

So before we get you out there in the real world, we're going to have you look

at the tent.

Figure out how to do that, tie some knots, before the real adventure begins,

right? Yep, yep. Because being prepared, that's half the battle right there.

Whatever. Whatever.

All right, so let's get this going. Yeah, so let's get back. You might want

pay attention. This is really important stuff here. It is, Gross.

Now that the tent's up, we're going to put this rain fly on.

I really wanted to go hiking.

Aren't stepdads the worst?

Seriously.

If you get some inclement weather there.

This is so boring.

Yeah, you're telling me.

What is going on here?

Amber.

Charlotte.

Girl. We should be paying attention to what we're doing.

Thanks for the generation, Tommy.

We're setting up a tent. It's important information for you guys to have out

there in the field.

We were just trying to have fun.

Yeah, no offense. I'm a little bored.

Girls, you can have fun once you're prepared.

And prepared starts with training. So we need to learn and practice and know how

to use our equipment. That's priority number one. You're going to get caught

the... Survival skills, right? Exactly.

Rule number one of surviving in the wilderness is being prepared.

Yeah. All right?

Like me. I'm prepared. See?

Exactly. I got rope.

That is a scout, right? I'm always prepared for anything.

Okay. So maybe we should go with some knot tying.

Yeah, exactly. Now that we've got the tent set up without any help, we could

probably move on to some knot tying because knots are very important. You

to make a loop at the end because you're going to tie something to the thing.

Call that a bite. Make a little loop around the thing through the hole.

Not around the tree, but in the hole. That's a different knot. But there you

See that little figure eight right there?

And you can attach a nice little carabiner or something like that. That

save your life right there. And then what else? Let's say you... You know,

thing, except...

Hey what you want to hook it on it's a treat you can't go around the tree you

can't make a little big enough So what we do we tie a knot Call it a figure

eight Hide or there we go. There's a tree stump right there follow and it's

called a follow -through you follow follow follow You see that yeah, he goes

paying attention.

Oh, yeah Good good follow through follow through around that last bend there.

Oh And he dressed it up. Look at that. Look at that pretty Figure eight, and

then boom.

The cure.

You're not going anywhere.

Great. Awesome.

Well, anyways, this is boring as fuck, and it's starting to rain, so I'm

the fuck inside.

I don't want to get my fucking hair wet.

Let's go.

Unbelievable. I swear, this generation, they've got the attention span of a fly,

huh? Yeah, there's no... I should go keep them distracted one way or another.

Years ago, when we were kids, we were camping.

We said when we grew up, if we ever had daughters, we would... Tommy, you dog. I

remember that.

I mean, I couldn't help but noticing their tits.

That's what got me on this thing.

I'm glad you said it. They are pretty nice ambers.

Scarlett was not wearing a bra. Those little things are perky. Got me a little

wound up here. Anyway, so this is the perfect time.

They're bored.

They're done without... I thought we were... I thought we were just fucking

around when we said that. Well, yeah, I mean, a lot of truth is spoken in jest,

but... I mean... It's an opportunity to go in there and keep me busy.

You've got some ideas running through my head.

I'm trying to think of a reason not to.

I don't think there is. But I'm drawing a blank right now.

I mean... I mean, if you're cool, I'm cool.

Yeah, right?

Yeah. I mean, we can always just see what happens, right? Yeah.

Yeah, play it by ear. Let's go. See what happens.

Man, I'm so bored still.

Yeah, no offense to your dad, but that was fucking boring.

Tell me about it.

Yeah, sorry I invited you over. I didn't know that we weren't actually going to

go on a little hiking trip.

I mean, maybe we can go next weekend.

Oh, that'd be fun. Yeah. Like actually going outside instead of our backyard.

What were we going to do out there? We were just a bunch of rocks anyway.

Absolutely ridiculous.

All right.

All right, girls, we just had a discussion. Yeah, we realized that.

That was boring stuff. We get it. We understand, right?

We figure we need to incentivize you girls a little bit.

Okay. What does that mean? I mean, we've got something fun planned, but first

you have to prove.

You've got to earn it, basically. So we're going to pick up where we left off

with some knots.

We're going to show you them.

If you could tie a knot for us, we'll move on to the... More fun stuff. There

you go. Exactly.

Seriously, Doug?

Yeah.

All right. Okay.

We saw what you guys were doing out there.

Everybody gets there.

It better be worth it. There you go. Just your attention span there.

Okay, so this one, you probably won't need it, but you're going to learn it

in case.

Say you're out in the woods and you have to subdue...

A bad guy. Or you've got a dragon animal or something that you killed to the

fire, right?

We're going to basically make little handcuffs to lock it up and drag it

you. So we're going to go over, make a little loop, and then do it again.

Oops. Do it again, just a little further down the rope.

So you've got two, right?

So you've got two of those. Two loops. We're going to pull.

We're going to overlap them a little bit. You see the... Like that.

Look at that. And we're going to pull it through.

And if you did it right, you got handcuffs.

And boom.

And then once you pull tight here, it tightens the handcuffs, okay?

Oh, look at that.

Okay, you're okay. You're going to take a little practice. It's okay. It's okay.

Let's try this again. That was way harder than I thought. What you do, so

do the loop. It's intimidating.

Okay. So over it.

Okay, okay.

I know the rope's giving a little trouble there, so.

All right, so take your hand and mine.

Over like that. That's one loop.

Hold that.

I'm going to do that again.

Fight me a little bit.

All right, so you got the two wings there.

What we're going to do, we're going to want to pull those through each other.

Oh, okay.

I see you, Mr. Sky.

All right, cool, cool.

So here, let me try that again with a longer rope and all that.

All right, so boom, boom.

I can demonstrate it for you.

I don't think I'm getting it.

How long are we going to be doing with that?

Just a little bit.

Okay. Give me your hands.

So, put them on.

Okay.

So, for example, you're in the woods.

You've got to do a bad guy or drag a deer up a mountain or something. Drag a

deer up a mountain. You never know. You never know.

So, that's how that's going to work. Oh, wait, no.

All right. I'm terrible at this.

Let's have you do it on your own real quick.

I'm trying to make a mess of myself. Make a knock on accident.

So, like this?

Is that okay? Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'm finally... No, I'm not. I lied.

I'm not getting this.

Okay. I appreciate you trying.

What the fuck are you doing? Wait, what?

What are we just... Are you serious? We're just having fun.

Oh, my God.

What? What?

What are you doing?

Oh, fuck.

You know what?

Go. I'm going to go consult her. I don't know what's going to happen.

That was pretty embarrassing.

Sorry. No, I mean, she's my best friend, and, like, you're her dad. Yeah. That

can make it a little awkward, don't you think? Yeah.

Timing's everything, and that was bad timing. Yeah, maybe.

I mean, I don't know.

I'm just kind of embarrassed that it happened, you know, in front of my

and everything.

Well, you know, sometimes friends, they...

They grow apart, you know, and they change, you know, change their

attitudes towards things.

I guess that's true.

Well, still thanks for trying to help me.

Well, I mean, I saw what you were doing out there, and I couldn't help notice

that you really look good, and

you've grown so much. Wow.

I mean, thank you, but I mean, it's still kind of embarrassing, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is, but you didn't like it at all.

I wouldn't say that.

Oh, really?

What would you say then?

I mean, I wouldn't mind if you did it again.

No.

Yeah,

I mean, like I said, this is still kind of embarrassing.

I don't know. I don't want her to find out and get mad again, you know? No, no.

She's... They're downstairs, I'm sure.

You mind if I do it again?

No?

Wow. Wow.

May I grab one?

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

That's nice.

Oh, it's so warm and soft.

May I touch it?

so much more fun playing with these than playing with rope oh yeah I actually

agree with you on that one that

feels good Mr. Skye

My pants are getting tighter.

Yeah. That's the goal.

Wow, I can do that all day.

Well, I mean, you should probably stop soon. We don't want to get caught again,

you know?

Sure, yeah. Good idea.

Good idea.

Honey, what's wrong?

I'm... I'm fine, I am.

It's just... Like, it's just weird seeing my dad broke my best friend's

like that. Yeah, it caught me a little bit off guard, too.

Um... But, uh... I guess... I'm sending adults and all, and I can't really stop

it, right?

Um... It's just... Usually when he does stuff like this...

Freaks me out or something.

The only way I can ever get him to apologize to me is when I do something

him back.

And I just don't know what to do.

You've got to go back and forth, escalate, do break first.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, if that's how you like to play that game, you actually have an idea.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Oh, my God, Mr. Stark.

Oh, my God, you've got to be caught. What are you doing?

You can touch it if you want. I don't think I should.

I mean, you don't want to miss your opportunity, right? You said you like

you know, escalate things a little bit.

You might not have this opportunity again.

I mean...

You're probably right.

Yeah, you don't want to let the moment pass, right?

Obviously, they don't care.

And you know this would just infuriate him.

Yeah, fuck it.

I think you are, right?

You're gonna be so mad.

He's gonna be apologizing to me in no time.

Drunk about this, David? Well, I'm going to use Mr. Drunk. Yeah, you've thought

about this before, too.

Don't tell Amber.

Our secret.

You know,

just, you know, abiding by the plan we had, you know, set in place.

What plan, Dad?

It was a deal, like a deal we made.

What the fuck are you talking about? What kind of deal is this? What are you

talking about? Dad?

You know, we were just, you know, at the campfire shooting the shit.

jokingly said, you know, like, one day, you know, if we have hot daughters, you

know, we should, you know, do a good old swap.

Oh, a what? Are you fucking kidding me?

That's fucking disgusting.

Dad, are you serious?

Think about it.

Who's going to be the best man for your daughter besides your best friend,

right? It's not so bad.

It was just talk.

You know, sometimes plans come to fruition, the planets align, and, you

why not, right?

Besides, like we were mentioning earlier, this is a great opportunity to

back at your old man for the tit thing.

I mean, okay, you're right.

Right? Yeah.

So, I mean.

Are you serious right now? The tit thing?

Look, Amber, I'm sorry, okay? I know it's messed up, but.

Your dad has really nice cock.

I don't want to hear about my dad's cock, Scarlett. What the fuck?

Well, I think, well, now that we're here, I propose that we carry on with

deal. But under our own watch, we're all here, so if something happens that

nobody's really excited about, we can speak out about it.

Um... I don't know if I want to be sexy with my dad so close to me.

Look, honey, I promise we'll keep our distance, and, you know, everybody will

comfortable that way. You know, we'll keep our distance, but we'll be close

enough where nothing funny is going to happen, right?

Maybe. I might be convinced if I, like, saw his cock, too.

It's only fair, right?

It's only fair.

I guess.

I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. Okay,

then. I guess we're going to do this.

I think we can work something out.

Yeah? Mm -hmm.

Well,

I guess scoot over then.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, that's so perky.

You want some of your face?

Yes.

Oh,

that's good.

Oh,

baby.

Oh my god, that was fucking good.

Oh, my God.

It's all good.

Thank you.

You're the bestest friend ever.

You're the bestest friend ever.

I love that we can do everything together.

Me too.

Yeah. He's definitely not going to cook much.

Oh, my God. He's going to look.

I don't know.

You sure he don't want to?

I don't know. It's okay to watch.

Yeah. He's watching.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Please let's improve.

We'll see you then.

God damn it all.

Oh, really?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my fucking God, yes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Just like that.

Oh, my God.

I have a little nibble under here a little bit.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God. You look so good. Oh,

my God.

Oh,

my God.

I'm so fucking wet.

Yeah? Yeah, you're okay.

Your pussy likes my dog.

That's a freaky little titty.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

It would be kind of weird, right?

I mean, literally nobody would know. It would be our little secret.

I mean, I guess I wouldn't tell if you don't.

Let's do it.

I mean, I'm not going to say anything. You won't say anything, right?

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

so fucking deep now.

I'm so fast.

Yeah. I'm getting close to coming myself.

I love your tits. I love your legs.

Oh,

my fucking

legs.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Thank you so much.

So good.

This is so good. I had no idea.

Oh, yeah. Just like that.

Oh, he's so sensitive, Dad.

He had no idea.

There's no difference.

You girls ready to take your daddy's car?

Yes, please.

Please, daddy, I love you.

Oh, fuck.

Please, daddy, I love you.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I think we should do this regularly.

Yeah? Yeah.

Why not?

All right.

Well, good stuff.