All language subtitles for h.s02e01.BDRip.H264-RBB

Your phone's really blowing up. What's
happening?

It's not getting through.

Oh, my God. What did you do?

Okay, okay. I can explain. Drop it.

Drop it. Barry, drop it. You know grapes
can kill you.

Reach into his mouth.

Reach into his mouth, Barry. Look at
Mommy. Look at Mommy spit it out.

Jet fuel and melting rubber?

Yep.

Vegas, baby.

Welcome home.

Thank you.

I'm headed to the shops at Crystal's.
No, no, go to the house.

You know, you go ahead.

I'm just going to call a car and go back
to the Palmetto. I have some stuff to

get. I have a couple of calls to make.

No, you're going with me.

We've got a lot of work to do, kiddo.

That was fast.

No, no, it's good. It's good. That was
the old show. I'm done with that.

We're going to work this new one out on
the road, and it's going to get me a

bigger and better residency.

And the Palmetto can kiss my ass.

Totally.

You know, I haven't been this excited
about my material in years.

It's invigorating when you bomb and you
have to start from scratch. It's like

when you clean out your closet and you
buy a whole new wardrobe.

Can't relate.

I still wear my bras from the 8th grade.

Now those bras you should burn.

Oh, put him on speaker. I need to talk
to him.

Jimmy? Are you trying to put me in the
ground?

Oh, you're here. It's me and Debra in
the car.

Oh, hey, Debra.

I'm on speaker.

What are you guys doing?

I want to have a meeting in 20 to plan
this tour. I'll get Damian and Marcus.

We'll call you back.

Great. And Ava, maybe afterward you can
just give me a quick call. I can just

catch.

Hey, Ben, turn that up.

been over what is inappropriate behavior
in the past?

I said I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I
don't know why I'm being like arrested

wearing pajamas on a business trip.

They were not pajamas.

It was silk lingerie.

Okay, the fashion police is here. I
didn't know I was going on a trip with

Stacey London.

Hey guys, let's be careful not to police
anyone's fashion, but also Kayla, it

did make Jimmy uncomfortable.

Look, I'm just not sure I'm comfortable
with her staying on my desk.

But I don't, like, get that because he
was, like, my babysitter. Like, he

changed my diapers.

What? What are you talking about? I was
not your babysitter.

We were around each other as kids
because our dads were in business

but I never babysat you.

Um, I literally remember you changing my
diaper.

Ew. Kayla, you don't remember being a
baby. You don't even remember my lunch

order. Uh, Medicino Farms Chinese
Chicken Salad. Well, that's the first.

Kayla, your behavior was interpreted as
a sexual advance, and anything of a

sexual nature is against latitude's code
of conduct. OK, I just think that it's

going to be hard because, you know, we
work in the entertainment business.

And every movie or TV show is about sex.

That is so not true.

Name one movie that's not about sex.

Sophie's Choice, Schindler's List,
Saving Private Ryan.

OK, name one movie that's not about sex
or Nazis.

Castaway. That's about masturbation.
Okay, Barbara, help me out here, please.

Um, Babe Pig in the City?

Oh, my God.

Okay, so, on this tour, I want to do 35
dates before Christmas. That means I

think we should start in the San
Francisco Orpheum and move our way east.

that idea, but I do think a lot of the
larger venues are likely already booked.

That's fine.

I'll do drop -ins. I'll do whatever it
takes. I mean, I don't expect us to be a

moneymaker. It's all about back to
basics.

And we need a really good tour manager,
Vinnie DeMone. Oh, uh, he died.

Oh.

Did we send flowers?

Yeah. Yes.

Well, we've got to get somebody really
good. Okay, yep. I'll have Kaylee check

some avails. Love it. Oh, by the way,
put Helen and Marcel on retainers so

they're available when I get the new
residency.

So they have already put in their two
weeks' notice?

They're doing makeup for the Blue Man
Group.

Well, they probably need less time in
the chair than I do.

Damien, did you check into that tour bus
I sent you?

I did.

Unfortunately, it's currently in use by
Lil Uzi Vert.

Lil... Uzi Vert.

Okay. Look, does anybody have anything
positive to add?

I think this could be a great time to
repaint the moldings in the sitting

Yes! Thank you, Josefina.

Thank you. This is good. This is good.
Everybody's busy. We've got lots to do.

Oh, and Marcus, this means I'm going to
be on the road. You'll have a lot more

time for your favorite watercolors.

So true.

Let's circle back to the moldings.

I have a connection at Valspar.

And I'm thinking maybe eggshell or
satin? Satin.

You've reached Jimmy Lacek, Jr. Leave a
message.

Hello? Hi, Daisy. It's Ava. From that
horrible meeting. I mean, we started

Yeah, I recall.

Okay, so look, I really shouldn't have
sent you that email. I mean, my bad. My

bad, 10 ,000. You know, anyway, I'm
calling as a friend to say you really

shouldn't use anything from the email. I
mean, for your own sake.

Deborah can be very litigious, and I
think she'll come after you is all, and

just don't think you want that kind of a
headache in the first season of a show.

Oh, well, that's very kind of you, but
we actually just forwarded your email to

the studio, and since you very
specifically ended your note with, I

release my permission over these
stories, we're sorted.

Okay, I shouldn't have sent that. I was
way out of line. I was just upset, and

Deborah had just slapped me, and...
Wait, she slapped you?

Was that not in the email?

No.

Is that Jingle Bell?

Yeah, I'm in Deborah's Christmas room.
Don't use that.

You know what? I'm going to do you a
favor and just hang up, yeah?

Thank you.

You're eating Josefina's chicken pot
pie, and it's 10 a .m. What's wrong?

No, don't.

Don't. Don't psychoanalyze my pot pie,
all right?

Okay, okay.

I just meant that, you know, the last
time you did this was when Carrot Top

ghosted you. Well, if he didn't want to
date, then he should have had an adult

conversation. I told you to never date a
comedian, and you're way out of his

league. Yeah, I'm out of Carrot Top's
league. That's what made the whole thing

so fucked up. Oh, God, Mom, you know
what?

Look, I didn't want to tell you like
this, but... I've been doing IVF.

Because Aiden and I want to start a
family.

Oh.

It was the second round and it didn't
take.

I didn't want Aiden to see me upset
because he's training for tomorrow's

Well, you know, maybe it's for the best.
I mean, you did just meet this guy.

This guy?

Aiden is my husband, Mom. He's a part of
our family. I just meant that in case

it didn't work out, that it would
probably be good not to rush into having

child in the unlikely event of a
divorce.

You are unbelievable.

You know what?

Forget it. I'm leaving anyway.

Oh, Sabine, I forgot the fucking peas so
this pot pie tastes like shit.

Hello. Hi.

Here's a script. You want it ugly?

Kayla, you don't have to call me ugly.

What? Barbara said not to be sexual.

Isn't the opposite of being sexual
telling you you have a fugly face?

No, it's actually bullying.

What do you want me to say?

That during the company softball game, I
saw the full outline of your wiener

through your mesh shorts?

And it was surprisingly big for somebody
with such a high voice?

Happy now, ugly?

No! See, really high!

Okay, Kayla, just, can you shut the
door, please?

What? No, I want you to leave and then
shut the door.

Okay, good!

Help us all!

Okay, stop yelling. We're in a corporate
environment.

Ava, I'm on a razor's edge.

Are you alone?

Yeah, I'm hiding out in Debra's
Christmas room. Somehow it feels racist

but I can't explain why.

Anyway, look, I've been thinking, and I
think I should just own up to it and

tell Debra about the email.

Highly, highly... I highly disagree.

She will kill you if she finds out, and
me, all right? Do me a favor. Do not do

anything. OK.

OK, I won't do anything further.

But I should tell you, I did call Daisy,
and I made it worse.

Ava, I need you to take your phone, and
I need you to throw it into the ocean.

Mm -hmm. Yeah, good note.

Good note. Listen, I'm trying to get in
touch with Janet Stone, OK? She

represents Daisy and Jesse. I'm going to
try and reason with her. Uh, isn't that

the manager who beat her assistant with
a stapler?

No. Three -hole punch.

Much heavier.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. She gives good, decent reps like
me a bad name.

Anyway, I gotta go make a sexual
harassment situation go away.

Wow. Um, okay.

Okay,

bye.

Seriously, right? You couldn't have just
waited a few days for me to come back

and get my stuff?

Ms. Vance.

It doesn't have a comp room here
anymore, so we were asked to clear it

But I put all the overflow in these
bags.

Ah.

Ooh.

Everything's nice and loose in there.
Yeah.

Wait, I had a Cadbury cream egg that I
hadn't eaten, and they're seasonal, so

they're kind of hard to get now. Do you
remember it?

Are you serious?

No. Oh, uh, also, you got a package.

I did?

Yeah.

Yo, are those ashes?

Oh, my God.

Give me a sec.

Ava!

Did you get your dad?

I mean, half of him.

Mom, why the hell did you send me half
of Dad's ashes?

Because I'm keeping the other half.

Okay, and why did you mail him in a
tennis ball tube?

First of all, I overnighted him. It was
$44.

And I'm not going to pick out an urn for
you. I don't want you calling me

screaming that the urn doesn't match
your decor.

Since when have I ever called you
screaming about anything?

Never! Because you barely call!

Oh my God, I gotta go.

Ashes. Sorry, my dad died.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My dad passed away a few years ago, and
we cremated him, too.

Although we did put him in, like, a
proper vessel.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Thanks. If you ever need to talk or
whatever, I'm always here.

Except Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Sure.

Man, all the time. We could have been
friends.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I mean, you've always been pretty
entitled and annoying.

I hear that, brother.

A lot. Yeah.

Cool.

Um, well... Yeah, let me know about that
egg.

Have you ever tried a regular meditation
practice?

Apparently it can really help if you
have emotional irregularity. I don't

emotional irregularity.

Sure, but I mean, look, you never know
what could trigger you at any moment.

Uh -huh.

Josefina?

Yeah, I'm missing all the local papers.
Oh, they're not there?

No. Weird.

Weird stuff.

I'll check.

Also, there's this book by Michael
Pollan.

about how psilocybin mushrooms can
actually rewire your brain to create new

neural pathways. I mean, it's the
biggest advancement in altering moods

Prozac.

You know, I've never said this to anyone
in my life, but I think you need to

read less.

Okay, I found them.

No art section.

Or maybe they skipped a week. They do
that sometimes.

Josefina, I know I bombed at my show.

I don't read reviews. I don't need to
see all the nasty things people have

written about me.

Okay.

There's a very good Garfield today.

Sure. I'll check it out.

I would just ask that you remember my
boundary, please, and don't open any

cabinets. Well, honey, I just wanted to
come by and say that I'm sorry about

what I said yesterday, and I think that
you should try the IVF thing again.

Thank you, but I don't know if I can
handle the disappointment.

I understand.

God, this place is a mess. I know.

It's a little cramped, but that's
married life, right? I mean, it's only

we find a bigger place.

I'm glad to see you finally got a gun.

Ew. No, I'm like anti -gun or whatever.
This is Aiden's paintball stuff.

Mom. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Aiden.

Oh, I had no idea that you were coming
over.

Surprise. I got to head to the gym. I
still got 10 pounds to cut for

weigh -in.

10? Yeah. You got to show me your
technique.

All right, babe.

I love you. Love you.

Mom, I'll see you soon. Okay.

I want the mom thing to stop.

I know, but he's from Ohio, so... And
you better be coming to his fight.

Oh, I... Mom, come on! You love boxing.
It's not that different.

Yes, it is. It's a lot more violent. And
I don't like seeing men's bare feet.

Listen, he's finally in UFC proper.

It's a huge night for him. Exactly,
exactly. That's why the night should be

about him.

You know what it's like when I go to one
of these events?

They put me up on the Jumbotron and make
a big to -do.

I don't want to steal his thunder.

It's fine. He doesn't care. He really
wants you there.

It's weird. He's, like, desperate for
your approval or something.

Do you like this?

No. No, right?

Ugh.

Okay, fine. I'll come.

Really? Yes, but he better win.

Oh, no, he's not going to win.

No, the other guy is a monster. Do you
know what his nickname is?

The main train.

Oh, well, that's not scary.

That's a juvenile.

Well, he's terrifying.

Aiden not getting paralyzed, that's the
win.

Jesus. I know.

People have no idea what we go through.

We? Yeah, wives of MMA fighters.

His job is combat.

I mean, I'm basically a military wife.

Every morning, he gets up and goes to
work, and when I wake up a few hours

later, I don't know if I'm ever going to
see him again.

Victor, uh, is Wilson home?

No, sorry, he's out.

Well, actually, I was just here to drop
off some of his stuff, but it's probably

good he's not here.

Better, actually.

Hey, this is, uh, half a bag of granola
and a Flonase.

Well, the Flonase is practically new, so
I figured he might need it soon.

So I... You know what, actually, um,
don't tell him I was here.

Yeah, I can't give him half a bag of
granola and a practically new Flonase

without an explanation.

Okay, okay. Well, tell him I was here,
but I was just stopping by real quickly

on my way to a party.

Okay. Okay.

Actually, tell him that I was going to
the gym.

Or a date.

This is pathetic.

Yeah, but...

He won't stop eating my skinny cows and
it's really fucking annoying, so I'll

tell him whatever you want.

Okay.

A date?

Maybe stick with party.

I feel like that's more fun.

Take care, Diva.

So after further investigation and
speaking with legal, we have determined

this was a misunderstanding and that
Kayla will remain at your desk.

Yes! Are you kidding me?

Barbara, who did you talk to?

Probably everyone. This whole office is
always talking about our will they,

won't they.

They won't!

Okay, Kayla, would you mind stepping out
for a moment, please?

Yep.

Barbara, this is insane.

So, I can't discipline Kayla for reasons
I think you understand?

Because her dad's the boss.

Right, but I could discipline you.

Uh, no thank you.

Listen, if you were to have, say, anger
issues, I could recommend that Kayla be

moved off your desk for her own safety.

Right. But if it goes in your file, you
will have to take anger management

classes.

So what do you think?

Hey, Adam.

Love that tie.

Dang, you're in a good mood. Well, I
have anger issues.

And what I don't get is why all the
cheerleaders for WNBA games aren't all

I never really thought about it.

Hey, Tony.

Hey, Ms. Vance. Oh, sorry.

Employees only.

Tony, my car already pulled out. You're
going to make me walk all the way around

the casino in there to eat?

They get on me about this shit. I'm
sorry, Anna.

Really.

Tony.

Ava.

What the fuck?

I can't believe that guy.

Tony.

Mr. Las Vegas.

Mrs. Las Vegas. Miss.

You got odds on this one?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Odds are I'm going to
want to leave in about 20 minutes.

Just promise me that I'm going to see
you at my New Year's party. Oh, God,

honey, with bells on, of course.

Great. Nice to see you, baby.

Bye.

I'm getting massive.

I slew you.

I would love a ring like that.

Oh, thank you. You can't clap with it
because it'll bruise you, but it's worth

it. Ah!

Hi, hi, hi, hi!

Hi, sweetie.

Oh, wow, you're sweaty.

Ma 'am? Oh, Mom.

You're nervous too. Calm down, okay?
Because he's going to be okay. He's got

be okay.

Want some popcorn?

Uh, why is it in your purse? It's my
popcorn purse.

I pop it at home and I sneak it in.

Holy shit, this is like the best popcorn
I've ever eaten. Yeah, no shit.

It's nutritional yeast and flavorful.

I got the recipe for my favorite vegan
beauty podcast.

Is this a Starbucks gift card? Oh, I've
been looking for that.

I'll have to use this part of the purse.

Oh, excuse me. Be right back.

I can't eat corn on an empty stomach.
It's a disaster.

You look like a bull. That's what you
look like. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, look at the cat dragged in.

Look at you.

Deb, I didn't think you'd be here.

I know how you don't like seeing men's
bare feet.

This is actually my son -in -law's first
UFC fight.

Ah, right, of course.

Nice to see you.

Good to see you.

What am I, chopped liver? What's
happening? Oh, Mayer. You look great.

Thank you so much. I just had my hair
done.

Nice. So, now, Dave.

Oh, no, that's when she already got
carded and had to go home.

No, she was just here a second ago.
Where did she go? Ah, well, here she is

Deborah, Mayor Joe, this is Victoria
Kelly.

Very nice to meet you, Mayor.

And Deborah, of course, I am a fan.

It's so, so lovely to meet you.

Enchantée.

It's a pleasure to meet you as well. We
actually have to get to our seats. If

you will excuse us, thank you.

Oh, my God.

That was shocking.

See that fucking company? My God, she's
old.

Unbelievable.

Can you tickle my arm?

What's that? Do like a baby tickle. It
just helps calm me down.

Uh, sure.

You've got to get your nails a little
bit involved there.

Shorts.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very
special guest here tonight. You know

from their residency here at the
Palmetto.

Give it up for M .C.

Ludwig!

M .C. Ludwig!

Who are you rooting for tonight?

My boy, the main train, predicting a KO.

And now, everyone please stand for our

special guest, Wendy May Waters,
treating us to her rendition of the

Anthem.

I thought you don't read reviews because
you don't care.

I don't read reviews because I do care.

You'd think at some point I'd stop,
but... It's just a local paper.

It's a hometown paper.

I mean, this city's full of criminals
and hookers and magicians, for God's

No one cares.

This is the one place nobody judges you.

Well, a dude did just call me a
socialist bitch when I walked out on the

national anthem.

You know, they never gave a shit about
me in L .A. or New York.

At least they wanted me here.

And now the Review Journal says that...
Not my

town anymore.

I think you'll feel better when you're
on the road.

I'm not so sure this tour is a good
idea.

Deborah.

How's it going?

Bad.

This dude's an idiot, bro. He should
just tap out.

Give up, man!

Mom! Excuse me. Oh, my God, what are you
doing?

Move, move, move.

Aiden!

Mom?

Hey, lady, you can't be... It's cool.

Aiden, listen to me.

Look at me.

Everybody thinks you're done.

No one believes in you.

Okay? They want to see you get knocked
down, and they want you to stay down.

But guess what?

You're going to get back up, and you're
going to find his weakness, and you're

going to hit it hard.

And you're going to hit it again, and
again, and again.

In fact, you're going to hit him so
hard, he doesn't get angry.

He gets scared.

You're the underdog.

But you're going to get back up, because
you're advanced now.

They'll go kill him.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Go!

Go, let's go!

Let's do it!

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

Let's go!

Yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

is absolutely capable of killing me. She
cannot find out about that email. Okay,

okay. Calm down.

I'm working on it. But for the time
being, just stay away from her.

Ava. Oh, gotta go. Ava.

You were right.

I'm gonna feel a lot better once I'm on
the road. That's why we're going

tonight. Just you and me.

Just us?

No. What about the bus? The big bus?

I don't know. We can meet up with them
in a couple of weeks. Tour starts

tonight.

Oh, thank God you're up. Yeah, yeah, I
got to monitor Aiden, make sure he

doesn't fall asleep. He could slip into
a coma.

I'm just reading him Harry Potter.

Oh.

Hey, you know, I wanted to thank you
again for tonight.

Oh. It meant a lot, and we're going to
try again with the IVF.

Good, good. Well, I'm rooting for you.

Thank you.

Anyway, I just dropped by real quick to
tell you that Ava and I are actually

leaving on tour tonight, and I just
wanted to say goodbye.

Oh. Anyway, so while I'm gone, I would
like you and Aiden to stay at my house.

No, Mom, I don't want to... Honey,
listen, on a lot of my tours, you should

had a home that wasn't a bus.

So, please, take it.

Until you get a better place.

Thank you.

Is there anything you want me to do for
you around the house while you're gone?

Oh, no, I'd prefer you not touch
anything.

But there is one thing that you could
help me with.

Okay, now we can go.