All language subtitles for The Elegant Gentlemans s01e03.eng

Take some notes here, son. I'm falling
about like the devil's boss. I'm a

stranger boss in the middle of the day
in a strange hotel.

And let me tell you that man with a
trench coat and he'll take you downtown.

Nasty and in the forest street. He's an
animal and I'm a bag of blood.

Ooh.

Okay.

1 ,001 movies you must see before you
die. You love movies.

I do.

I also have terminal cancer.

Yeah. Which is why you need to watch
those movies.

I need to watch 1 ,001 movies.

Before you die.

But you do know you're going to die.

I know I'm going to die. So why are we
arguing?

I don't want to spend my last month
watching 1 ,001 movies.

You must.

Must.

die before watching those movies?

What?

Who cares?

Honey, look.

I'm not going to give you other presents
now.

Michael's been having problems since the
program started.

Well, just tell him to reboot the entire
system and start from scratch.

All right, I'll let him know.

Hey, Tony, how's it going?

Well, the retrograde thrust is wide
alive under the simulation.

Yeah, well, don't you worry about that.

After all, it's not rocket science.

It's not rocket science. That's funny,
isn't it?

Hey.

Dick, I was just saying to Barney, he
was having problems with the thrusters,

and I said, don't worry, it's not rocket
science.

That is funny, though. That's too much.

Hey, Neil.

Hey, Neil. I'm not sure if you... Yep,
that's my name, Doug. Wear it out. Can I

have a word, please? Oh, yes, sir.

Just the one. What word were you
thinking?

In my office, please. Ah, yes.

Yes.

Ah.

What are you doing, Neil?

It's not rocket science.

No, take a seat.

Where shall I take it?

So how's work going?

You know, it's good. It's good.

It's not exactly rocket science.

It gets funnier the more you say it,
though.

It is funny that you say that because
that's why I brought you here. Yep.

The thing is, it is rocket science.

Isn't it? I mean, that's what we do here
at the Southern Cross Aerospace and

Research Facility.

It is quite literally rocket science.
Yes, that's kind of a joke. But it's not

very funny one, is it? Well, Tony... I
mean, not when you've been saying it for

four long years now. Four hilarious
years. Well, we're sick of it.

Everyone is sick of it. I've just had
the head of the Russian space agency on

the line.

Yes, I know you've learnt it in Russian,
but it is the only thing you've learnt

in Russian and you keep calling them and
saying it completely out of context.

It's confusing.

Lost in translation.

I'm going to have to let you go.

Oh, no, come on.

Come on.

The Titan rocket probe, it's been
working on that for six years now. You

it's near completion.

I love my job. I admit your work on that
project has been exceptional.

Thank you.

You know, but it's not exactly rocket
science.

It gets funnier the more you say it.

Uh,

Houston, we have a problem.

Jesus Christ. Well, no, it's just a
cleaner. Okay.

I'm sorry.

Oh, you scared me. I thought you were
going to eat my brain. No, no, no. I'm

just here to change the bin. Wow.

Wow. It's going to be cleaner, huh?

Well, yes, yes.

Actually, I only do this part -time.

What do you normally do? Well, I'm an
actor.

No way. A zombie actor slash cleaner.
Yeah, well, more and more an actor.

You're cleaning now. Well, yes. What
have you been in? Well, I mainly do

theatre.

I actually just played Eugene in
Chekhov's Ivanov.

I do some short films as well. Actually,
I've written a screenplay. Hey, were

you on The Walking Dead?

Yeah, I love that show.

I remember the beginning of the second
season, under the tanker. You're the guy

eating the dead guy, right? No. No, that
wasn't me.

You sure?

I'm pretty sure I look just like you.

I'm quite positive.

Ah.

Right. Well, you know, keep up the
acting. Maybe one day you can be in a

like that. I love it.

Actually, I don't go for those types of
roles.

What do you mean?

Well, you know, shows that depict
zombies as mindless idiots just lurching

around eating human brains.

You know what really irritates me about
those shows?

What? It's lazy script writing. I mean,
here's a perfectly good opportunity for

some bold, truthful storytelling about
what it's like to really be a zombie in

the modern world, and they just opt for
the obvious clichés.

That's excellent. That's really good.

It is offensive.

It's just a TV show. It is narrow
-minded stereotyping, and it is

disrespectful to our entire culture.

Yeah, maybe, but it's a great show. Yes,
but know this.

As long as fools like you continue to
watch, they will continue to make this

rubbish. Good day.

Hey, wait.

Yes?

Oh, you didn't do my pin, so...

Sorry, sir.

Hey,

Dad. Can I talk to you about something?

What is it?

You know Amy?

No.

The girl from school.

This morning?

No, I don't know her.

Well, anyway.

I really like her.

Gay. And, um...

That's kind of what I wanted to talk to
you about.

About this girl?

Yeah, and all that kind of stuff.

Hang on.

Are you trying to talk about sex?

Well, yeah, I guess so. Gross.

I'm your father, Alex. Don't be
disgusting.

I know you're my father. I just want
some advice.

You want some sex advice from me, your
own father?

What is wrong with you?

Nothing. What, do you want me to talk
through my sexual conquests?

I think I've got some tapes of some old
girlfriends in there. Maybe we can go

and watch them together.

Or better yet, why don't you go have sex
with your mother and you can watch

that? Is that what you want? Of course
not.

Do you have any idea what my face looks
like during sex?

This.

Is this what you want to see?

Thrusting away on top of your own
mother?

The mother whose body you came out of?

Your middle -aged, three -children
-bodied mother? Is that what you want?

No, I'm just asking for some advice.

The birds and the bees. I never got
that. The birds and the bees?

What are we, some kind of 1980s coming
-of -age American teen dramedy? No.

Are we being filmed right now? Is John
Hughes directing?

No. No, he's not, because he's dead.

And the rest of us live in the real
world, where nobody gets that talk.

I didn't get it, my friends didn't get
it, and your friends aren't getting it

either. It only happens in the movies.
Why?

Because it's awkward and gross.

Plus you brought up the death of a very
famous director and now I'm upset. Just

go, please.

I need a shower.

Oh, God of sarcasm. Thanks for
everything.

Monitor?

Command,

you want to see me?

Captain Sutherland, may I start by
saying your country, and indeed the

planet, owes you an enormous debt of
gratitude.

Thank you, Commander.

It has been trying at times, but one
must put one's isolation aside in the

of such matters.

There is one thing that I...

would like to discuss with you. Yes.

I'm afraid it's a little delicate.

The station logs have been brought to my
attention and there seems to be a few

irregularities regarding the data
consumption on the lower deck inboard

computer.

Irregularities? Yes. It seems the
terminal has been used to access a

called kitchensluts .com. That is
irregular.

Yes, and I'm afraid there has been some
pretty heavy downloading.

Right, so you can monitor that down
there.

Yes. Well, leave it with me and I will
get to the bottom of it. Thank you for

calling. I'm sorry, you're what?

I will find out who is responsible and
report back.

Roger out.

Well, you're the only one that's
actually been living there for the past

years. So it would stand to reason
that... What?

That it was me?

No, I'm married.

Yes, well, look, there's nothing to be
ashamed of. I mean, you have been up

there a very long time. Not ashamed,
because it's not me.

I'm a highly decorated astronaut. I
would not degrade myself in such a

And besides, it's a one piece.

I couldn't even if I wanted to. It's all
contained.

Captain Silver, may I call you Eric?

Yes. Eric.

We know it was you.

It's lonely.

I'm all by myself.

He's admitted it.

Captain Sutherland, you're disgusting.

No internet for six months.

Um, can you not tell my wife?

Can you please not tell my wife, please?

These last few months have been amazing.
I know.

I don't think I've ever... I know.

Me too.

I wake up most mornings just... I just
can't believe how happy I am.

Ditto.

I love you.

There is...

Something that I actually want to tell
you. I probably should have told you

already by now, but... Uh -oh.

Don't tell me, let me guess.

You're secretly gay.

No. You know what? I wouldn't even care
if you were.

That's how much I love you.

No, that's not it.

Okay, then.

You're adopted, and we're actually
brother and sister.

Again, I wouldn't care if you were.

And I would continue to sleep with you,
even if I just discovered you were

actually my biological sister.

That's how much I love you.

No, it's not that. Or you were adopted,
and you're actually my birth mum. If you

told me right now that you were some
amazingly preserved 65 -year -old woman

was actually my birth mother, I wouldn't
be upset.

No. Or even dad, same scenario as
before, but you were born a man, and

had me, and then you had a sex change
later in life.

I would still take you home tonight and
make love to you with the lights on.

That's... So sweet.

No, what I wanted to tell you was... I
have a child.

You have a child?

Yeah.

It's right here.

This is your baby?

Yeah,

I know, I know. I should have told you
by now, but I just... I thought you

have noticed.

Noted?

Uh, no. Sorry I'm not a super sleuth
detective who solves crimes by detecting

minuscule details.

All right, I'm really sorry. I can't
believe this.

I'm done.

Can't we just talk it through?

Honestly?

I don't know.

You're always talking about how much you
want to have children. I do, but to

raise someone else's kid, it would have
to be really, really...

Good looking, like off the scale,
adorable, cute, like in a calendar dress

pumpkin cute.

And I'm sorry, this child is not that
attractive.

I don't see it.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

But what did you expect?

It's ugly.

No.

Did you just recently do that dog food
commercial, Ed?

Yes, I did.

Well spotted.

Okay, Patrick and Trevor, right? No, I'm
Trevor. I'm Patrick.

Sorry, you just look quite similar.

This, as I'm sure you know, is Scarlet.
Ah, yes, hello. Hi. Hi, nice to meet

you. Lovely work.

Now, the scene today is that Abigail has
failed to seduce Proctor, so she's

alone in the woods and... and two
zombies enter, a bit of moaning and

mums moving, you guys know what you're
doing. Any questions? No? Good, okay.

Yeah, actually, yes, I do have a
question.

I was wondering if I might read for the
part of Proctor.

What?

John Proctor.

I've prepared a monologue.

Proctor is a down -to -earth forthright
farmer.

Yes. And you're a zombie.

I'm an actor.

Sorry, I don't... Please, it'll only
take a minute. Can we just do this? I've

got a reading at three.

Yeah, let's just get into it, shall we?

No, I'm afraid I've prepared a
monologue. Hey, buddy, you're a zombie,

right? Just stop wasting everyone's
time.

Oh, wasting everyone's time, am I? Can I
just ask you something, friend? Aren't

you just a little bit ashamed about
this, huh? Can't you see the kind of

that this kind of stereotyping is doing
to our cause?

perpetrating the idea that all zombies
are just mindless idiots just lurching

around eating human brains.

Aren't you just a little bit embarrassed
about it? No, I'm an entertainer, okay?

An entertainer. Yeah.

Performing the same roles in every
production, just staggering around,

human flesh. Oh, it's more staggering.
And then wacko acts at the back of the

head dead.

Brilliant. I'm sure your Oscar's just
around the corner. Fuck off.

There's nuance in my performance, all
right? There's light and shade. There's

subtle variation.

Light and shade. What, is it that?

There's a shady bit. There's light.

It's called acting, mate. Something you
wouldn't know anything about.

Oh, and such an accurate portrayal of
our lives, isn't it? Afterwards, maybe

and I should go to the coffee shop and
later we're going to just tear some

infant apart and eat its bowels right in
front of its mother. No one's forcing

you to be here, mate. If you don't want
to be part of the industry, get out.

I love this industry. I just want to
tell our stories. I mean, my wife and I,

can't have kids, okay? We're forced to
adopt. Now, why isn't there a film about

that? No one wants to see a film about
your dead sperm.

But it is real life.

Don't you touch me.

Have you ever had a single line of
dialogue in any on -screen work? Mate,

been in 13 feature films. Yeah, 13 films
of...

You're not an entertainer, mate. You're
a walking fucking cliche.

Okay, that's enough. Get out. Okay,
yeah, I'll go.

I'll go. But know this.

Liberty died in this room today. The
rights of my brethren have been set back

100 years by your actions.

I hope you're all very proud of
yourself.

Good day.

Wait!

Do you think you can bring that kind of
passion to Proctor?

Oh, I do.

Then show me.

Because it is my name.

Because I cannot have another in my
life.

Stop. That was terrible.

Do you think I might be able to... You
want to audition for the role of the

zombie? Yeah.

Okay, good. All right, guys, let's do
this.

And action.

He's unstoppable at the moment.

He's 60 out. He thinks he can.

I'm Adam Heim.

Hey, Darren.

Yeah? Could you come here a sec, mate?

Can it wait?

Uh, not really, mate, no.

Yeah?

Something you want to tell me?

No?

You sure about that?

Yeah?

There's nothing you want to tell me?

No, look, what's all this about?

Come here.

Come here!

Feel that.

Feel it.

Yeah, what about it?

How does that feel to you?

Feels good.

Does it?

Yeah.

Doesn't feel... different?

No.

Doesn't feel... lighter?

Lighter. Yeah.

You know, like it's... anything,
something.

Feels just the same to me.

Does it?

You don't know?

Well, look at it. What does it look
like?

Looks like a feather. It does, doesn't
it?

What kind of feather?

A cushion feather. Sorry, mate, I didn't
hear you.

A cushion feather. A cushion feather.

Yes, I agree.

What do you think this cushion feather
found its way to the ground?

You don't know?

Well...

You don't think it got there by itself,
do you?

You don't think it just jumped out of
the cushion, all on its own, do you?

Probably not. Probably not.

Probably had some assistance, wouldn't
you think?

Yeah.

Probably.

You've got 20 minutes to pack your shit
and get out.

Hey, wow, Rory, you're looking great.

Thanks. I've been working out and
getting lots of rest.

And that... that's all you've had done?

Yeah. Why?

Nothing. I... nothing.

You look great, man.

You've totally had work done. I know.

It's so obvious.

Hamish, we're not here for you, okay?

Hey, Dad.

Hi, guys.

Hi, darling.

Why don't you take a seat?

I, um... I guess you know why we're all
here.

We're having dinner, are we?

It's about your drinking, Dad.

What is this?

Is this one of these bloody
interventions?

Yeah, Dad, it is.

Look, this is very nice, but I haven't
touched a drop for two years.

That's the problem.

You're sober all the time now.

AA has made me stronger.

Do you think it's easy? I used to drink
a bottle a day. At least.

Yeah, you did.

And now all we hear about is AA this and
my life is better than ever that. And I

am really, really sick of it.

I thought it was what you wanted.

The doctor said if I didn't stop
drinking... The doctor doesn't have to

with you, does he? Bec, eat up.

We didn't realise how crack you'd
become, Dad.

You used to be fun. You were crack and
joke.

You used to fall over and we'd split
your head on the table.

Touching people in inappropriate places.

Guys...

I don't remember any of this. No, you
don't. But we do.

It was freaking awesome.

I have moved to a higher state.

Yesterday was history. Tomorrow is a
mystery. And today is a weird... What

hell is that? It's a mantra. Nobody
wants mantras, Dad.

They're creepy and weird.

Look, I feel like I never see you
anymore.

You're always at those self -help
meetings, working all the time.

I feel like I barely know you.

Marianne.

What about the inappropriate behaviour
at parties? Do you eye -charge it? I

never asked you to become a saint.

What about the money? I saved thousands
of dollars. Don't you make this about

money, don't you bloody...

the way through this, do you?

I'm housing you all by being sober.

Do I know you?

No. No, no, no. Hold on.

You're in The Walking Dead.

You're in The Walking Dead.

You're with the...

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