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Hi.

50?

70?

I just need a ride.

Mind if my friends get in too?

Thanks, pal.

You think you're funny?

I'm not amused, get out.

Please.

Please.

Please, please, please.

Thanks.

- Where to? - Real Hill.

This late?

You're out looking for whores this late!

Watch your mouth, kid, or I'll kick you all out.

Do you live around here?

Yes.

- Where? - Around here.

That's why he looks familiar.

How old are you?

Is he mute?

He's shy.

Shy and he's digesting.

What did he eat?

A thief's hand.

Alfonso always exaggerates.

Not the whole hand, just a finger.

Oh, a cannibal...

He didn't swallow it,

he just bit it off.

- To get the ring back. - What ring?

The one in his mouth.

Stop screwing with me.

Relax, he doesn't bite fingers with shitty rings.

Don't mind him,

Alfonso's an idiot.

Pal, mind if I smoke?

Enough, shitheads, get out of my car.

Out, I said!

You hear me?

Get out of my car or I'll kick your asses out.

Faster.

Don't stop!

Faster.

Come on.

Professor Randazzi, what an honor.

Dr. Conti's expecting you.

Never mind...

You don't know your ass from your elbow.

Ma'am...

Dumbass.

How is His Holiness?

Fine.

I hear he has high blood pressure.

He's under stress.

Excuse me, Professor, might I ask you a favor?

- My daughter has rickets. - I'm sorry.

It's rough, but as long as we can help her...

We'd like for His Holiness to bless her.

My wife went to ask three times, but it's crowded on Sundays.

As his personal doctor, maybe you could help us...

That won't be easy, he's very busy.

We don't want a private audience, just a blessing.

Professor Randazzi...

Hello.

Ma'am...

And she must be Nazzarena

from Nazareth.

Any news on the Holy Father?

- All is well. - Thankfully, thankfully.

This way, please.

Please wait here, miss.

Come in.

Have a seat.

We have a lovely garden with horses too.

Would you like a drink?

No, thanks.

Room temperature water, thanks.

Right away.

Go.

You may go.

Go on.

Well...

In regards to Nazzarena's problem...

"Problem" is a strong word.

Indeed, of course...

Shall we call it a "situation"?

Yes, that's better.

Situation.

Indeed...

I realize that for families like yours,

who have, shall we say, more visibility,

this serious situation...

Delicate.

Indeed, delicate...

This delicate situation with our Nazzarena

could cause some embarrassment...

By the way, how's Monsignor Lombardi?

Sadly, still in intensive care.

Well, I want to reassure you that...

everything that was done

unintentionally indeed, by our young guests,

will remain our secret.

None of us want problems with the law.

Our methods with young folks garner great results.

That's why we brought her here

and are paying, with no fuss, such an exorbitant amount.

We just ask that you make her become normal.

Normal like us.

Of course!

Go ahead.

That's your bed,

settle in.

Where's Marzia?

I just got here.

How's our dear Pope?

Word gets around here.

How's this look?

And this?

Better.

Bandana?

Is it overkill?

No.

Sunglasses?

Don't I look like Tom Cruise?

Identical.

- What's that? - Nothing.

- What? - A scar.

How'd you get it?

I was born with it.

Cute...

I want one too.

Can I get one as a grown-up?

Doubt it.

Bummer.

I'd look divine.

You didn't see me.

Let me go!

What's going on?

They'll kill each other.

What the hell?

Come here!

Let's go back to our rooms.

To your rooms, now!

Where'd you put it?

Tell me now...

or I'll leave him in your room unsedated.

Cry me a river...

Why do you keep bugging him?

Get up, come on.

Keep watch.

What shitty taste.

It's not here.

It has to be.

I know...

What are you doing?

In his boxers.

I can't do it or I'll barf.

You do it, you're used to it.

I can't either.

What if he wakes up?

Gross.

Here it is.

Found it.

I knew it.

You know, you really are gross.

Next time you want to jump out the window, I'll help you.

So we'll never have to see your shitty face again.

Adriano...

The shithead put it in his boxers,

Marzia found it.

For the first time ever, she was sickened by a cock.

We have to hurry. Can you open your mouth?

I'll put it under here.

Get better.

Let's go.

Come on!

Let's go.

Mom!

I'm pooped.

But I like Domenico.

His is short but thick.

Alfonso only likes ones that are super long,

like 20 cm.

But long ones hurt me.

What kind do you like?

What?

Dicks.

Narrow, long, crooked, crescent?

Crescent?

Yes, crescent.

Never done it before?

Not even forcibly?

You know, old guys are a sure shot for these things.

Young guys have to be instructed,

if you tell them to force you it isn't the same thing.

Why are you here? What did you do?

Apart from that crazy face, you seem pretty normal.

Normal like us

Normal like us

In the middle, please.

No, in the corner.

No, no.

Over there.

No way.

Zena, stop that!

The phantom...

phantomizes.

The pharaoh...

pharaohizes.

That's not a word.

Just say it.

The pharaoh...

pharaohizes.

Okay?

Be quick as a flash.

Fast.

You try now.

Pick one.

That big one.

- Boo! - Dummy!

You scared me.

Try again.

No, get closer...

Andrea!

- Where are you going? - What?

- Where are you going? - Can't hear you.

I...

caught some limpets.

- Can't hear you! - We can cook them with pasta.

I caught some limpets.

That was...

my cousin.

He and I always spend summers together.

Go on, try again.

Try again.

Are you sure?

I swear.

He said so.

- Andrea? - Yes.

- Maybe you dreamt it. - I didn't dream it.

- Why do I have to come? - You promised, sis.

Sorry we're late.

Andrea, did you invite your cousin?

Me? Are you nuts?

Coming in or not?

Why is she sleeping?

She's tired?

May I?

Who are they?

Tommaso... hello.

I brought my sister along too.

You don't mind, right?

In one gulp.

- Okay. - Do it.

Why two?

That's the rule: newcomers drink double.

You didn't say double.

You crashed our party, so do it or go home.

Fine.

Good, Tommaso.

Go!

Low card, get undressed.

- We don't have all night. - Okay.

I won.

Three, two,

one...

Enough.

Enough!

That's enough.

No, that tickles.

Now what?

Let her tongue you or get punished.

Six sick hicks...

nick six slick bricks

with picks and sticks...

Six sick hicks...

nick six...

slick bricks...

with...

with picks and sticks...

Six sick...

Six sick...

hicks...

Six...

Six sick hicks...

Who started it?

I know you're a smart kid. Giulio told me you didn't do anything.

I just need it in writing.

You're not snitching,

you're helping us help someone in need.

Think about your dad.

Don't we want him to know

that you're improving?

What's so funny?

If your mom were alive, she would...

You're a nasty lard ball, you make me sick.

I'm sorry.

Good job.

See?

It wasn't that hard.

You can go.

When someone insults or attacks us,

our first response is to react.

To kick or punch.

But that's not the only option.

We can also apologize.

Apologize for having provoked,

even unknowingly,

this attack.

Apologizing is powerful.

Very powerful.

And the choice is up to you.

Adriano, come here.

It's your turn, insult him.

Go ahead.

Insult him, Daniele.

You can go.

Who wants to insult Adriano?

You can go.

Nazzarena and Dario.

Insult her.

You're gross.

You're hideous.

Go, Nazzarena. Try apologizing, it's up to you.

Apologize.

You're gross and smelly.

No, you're not listening!

Quit laughing!

You smell just as bad.

- Hey! - Slut!

No fudge packer's calling me a slut!

Stop! Are you nuts?

Take it easy, stop!

I'll fucking kill you!

THE CURSED MOON

Don't let him in.

Help me.

I'm not lending you anything.

I can't go out like this.

Those pants look great.

Yes, but this is hideous,

I look like a choirboy.

No!

- Please. - No.

Last time you stank up my clothes and ripped my shorts.

But I apologized.

Come on, you know they took all my stuff from me.

I hid these in my boxers.

I don't give a shit, quit turning tricks in my clothes.

How obscene.

- It's a date, for your information. - Of course it is.

Can you talk some sense into her?

I can't go out like this, it's cold.

Like this?

Want my coat?

Are you kidding?

You're sweet but your clothes suck.

No, don't!

- How do I look? - Awful.

Great.

I told you not to let him in.

Feel the earth beneath your hands.

Feel the positive energy, the generosity of the earth.

We have the duty to take this energy and transform it into civility.

Because we're humans.

Repeat after me: "We're humans".

We're not animals, we're humans.

Breathe, keep moving,

and feel the earth beneath your hands.

Feel it.

Stay focused.

Feel the earth beneath your hands.

Feel the earth's love for us.

Pay attention. Stay focused.

Eyes forward and keep moving.

Eyes forward.

Keep moving.

Senator, we are mortified.

Repeat after me: "We're humans".

We're not animals.

Nice performance.

Your bag.

Hello?

Senator Izzo.

Sorry, he's at the dentist for a broken bridge.

An important bridge.

Totally broken.

Sorry, that's all I can say.

I'll let him know.

He hopes your teeth fall out.

Can I go?

Yes.

Leo and I wanted to grab a pizza after the game.

Where?

Pergola.

Maurizio will get you at 10 PM.

Leo can drive me home.

Maurizio will come get you.

Give my best to Leo.

Try to win.

Where are you going?

To play soccer.

Did you tell your father?

Yes.

Can you get my lighter over there?

Pick one.

For me.

I knew it.

Always the lucky one...

Let's see...

Indeed.

You sewed it on?

Mr. Gabriele asked me to be buried with his fasces emblem.

It was important for him, he asked me a million times.

- She's an idiot. - Irina!

Professor...

last wishes must be respected, he was a fascist.

Fascist? Let's not exaggerate!

A sympathizer, like most people around here.

He said it a million times!

Irina...

I know you're a foreigner,

but watch what you say, people will believe it.

Dad always embellished war stories.

Remove it now.

Does it work?

Divinely.

What's going on?

I made a compilation.

- A compilation? - For the funeral.

Nothing but sad music.

For sure, it's really sad music.

Please.

This might be my only real audience.

Ma'am, shall I put it near the music?

There'll be no music.

My condolences...

Teresa...

An incalculable loss.

- Thanks for getting Giulio hired. - It was nothing.

- I'm so sorry. - Thanks.

Vincenzo, I'm so sorry.

Nasty!

Make sure you don't drop it.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Nazzarena...

Come here, let me take a look at you.

She's Vincenzo's daughter.

So all three of you are going to America?

You didn't tell me...

you were all going to America.

It was a last-minute decision.

Where will you go?

Who sent her?

Mrs. Ferroni, the judge's wife, they both go to our beach resort.

- But she's Romanian. - I don't trust those women.

Tell me about it!

We're going to San Diego, Las Vegas, Los Angeles,

and hopefully San Francisco.

Los Angeles?

So you're going to Hollywood?

I hope so...

Olga Martino hired a Nepalese for her dad.

- I hear they're very smart. - Are they?

I'd really love to go to America.

It'll be fun.

Maybe she has a sister, call Olga.

For how long?

A month.

Long time.

Zena, bring Monsignor Lombardi coffee, he wants to say hello.

Gobbling...

gargoyles gobbled goblins.

Zena!

Can't Tommaso do it?

No, I already said hello to him.

Traitor.

Trai...

No, I'm not...

a traitor.

Good girl, Nazzarena.

Remember when you took catechism class with me?

You've grown up now.

Bitter.

It needs sugar.

COCKROACH POWDER

- A heart attack. - Poor thing.

It wasn't a heart attack, it was cockroach poison.

- What? - I put it in his coffee.

But how?

With a spoon.

Good girl, Nazzarena.

...when you took catechism class with me?

This stuff smells.

But it works wonders.

Oil's for the body, cream's for the face.

What'll I do with all this?

Here.

Stay still.

Careful.

Yes, but stay still.

I'm a faggot. A faggot!

I like cock, don't you get it?

Wanna try hitting on someone else?

All done.

- Spread evenly? - Yes.

What's this?

A marijuana leaf?

No, your toothed pussy.

If Adriano brought his horse, why couldn't I bring Freddy?

Because they gave Freddy a little injection and he croaked.

That's not true.

Conti swore they put him in a special home for dogs.

Conti spews bullshit, you're the only one who falls for it.

I do it with two fingers, not my whole hand.

It's easier.

It gets nice and wet

then you can find something to think about.

For example, I think about

an old fat man...

licking my toes.

He slaps me when he notices I'm enjoying it.

It's amazing. Want me to guide you?

What excites you?

Not a geezer.

- Adriano? - No way.

Okay.

Then I'll suggest some things, tell me what works.

Imagine you're at your desk and the professor's calling on you,

and a classmate is eating you out.

So you start panting in front of the professor.

He's licking like crazy.

But you have to hold back.

The professor realizes what's going on.

He threatens to punish you for not studying.

You say: "No, sir, I did study. I studied.

I studied, I swear I studied".

- Ready? - Yes.

- Did you like it? - Wonderful.

Do you think the producer will like it?

The producer will do what I tell him to.

So what is this new TV show?

A show with cute girls like you who sing and dance.

I can't sing.

You'll lip sync, don't worry.

That's strange.

It's not.

What matters is knowing how to move your body...

and having a pretty face.

And you certainly do.

Are you sure they'll hire me?

The channel's mine, I call the shots.

Are they your kids?

Did they really disappear?

They suspended the search.

Let's change the subject.

I'm so sorry.

You know, I had to do something bad to be here with you.

Really? What?

I didn't help my mom with tonight's party.

Knowing her, she called in some help.

She was upset,

her wedding anniversary party is important to her.

It's no big deal.

It is. So you have to punish me.

Otherwise I'll feel guilty and won't be able to do anything.

Nothing at all, understand?

How shall I punish you?

Slap me.

I don't want to.

I think you do.

I think you're dying to.

Slap me hard and I'll do anything you want.

Is that all you've got?

Limp dick, limp hand.

See? You did want it.

Now do whatever you want to me.

- Stop ordering me around. - You don't like orders?

Stop it.

I think you like it, you love being ordered around.

- Shut up. - I'm doing it for you.

To give you a hard-on.

Shut up, I said.

Wanna choke me?

- Do it. - Shut up, shut up.

I want you to shut up.

Marzia...

Come meet my daughter, sir.

She wants to be on TV, it's her dream.

- Hello. - Good evening.

Your father's told me lots about you.

Come see me, I'll have my secretary book you an appointment.

Okay, gladly.

Come meet a friend of mine.

You might know her, she was in a commercial.

- Really? - Yes.

Come with me.

Come on!

Here you are, baby!

- Hi, Dad. - Let's go see Gisella.

Folks, come outside.

Follow me, come on.

Gisella?

Big kitty!

Isn't she amazing? 200 kilos and 2 meters.

This kitty costs me 2 million a month, the local butcher loves me.

Just a little, Peppe, she ate this morning.

Don't feed her too much so she stays wild.

And that?

It's Gorbachev, can't you see?

You see, Gorbachev only eats live mice

and he's fussy.

He'll only eat at dawn, so Peppe has to wake up at 5 AM, right?

Luckily he only eats twice a month.

Folks, come on, time for cake.

To the pool, everyone!

Found you.

I looked everywhere for you.

I wanted to apologize for today...

I didn't mean to...

It'll never happen again.

Dad?

Marzia, help me.

Marzia, help me.

Hurry up, it's already 5 PM!

Tommaso, are you sure you're not bullshitting us?

No, I swear.

It's incredible.

You have to see it.

I happened upon it by chance.

When Andrea and I were kids,

we combed all of these caves.

Right?

15 years ago, come on...

But...

you've never seen this cave before.

We need to be careful

because once the tide rises,

you can't get in or out anymore.

Water blocks the entrance.

- My balls are freezing. - Let's go.

Wait, let me go first.

I know the way.

This way.

Make sure to stay right behind me.

The cave is huge...

and full of tunnels.

You can easily get lost.

- Amazing! - How cool.

The best has yet to come.

Come with me.

There.

Give me that.

Fuck!

How wild!

How much is that worth?

It's priceless.

Everything has a price if you're willing to pay.

- Did you tell anyone about this? - No.

Keep it that way, don't be an asshole for once.

Fat chance.

This could be a huge deal.

If this cave is ancient there could be more treasures.

How come nobody found it yet?

That's what happens with all major discoveries:

a dumbass stumbles upon them.

How old is it?

Dunno.

Where's Tommaso?

He was here before.

Where did we come in from?

Tommaso?

Where are you?

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