Original subtitles

What the fuck, Ben?

What are you doing?

Are you even awake?

You are seriously taking the piss. Look at the state of it.

Look at the state of you. You're such a slob. There's clothes everywhere.

It's filthy.

Just because your dad's working away doesn't mean you can act like this.

Well, I didn't think you were going to come home early.

Girls might finish early, so I've come back.

Sorry, it is my house.

Shit goes, like, from the sounds of it.

No, it was brilliant.

You had to be there to know.

Well, I'm not a girl, am I?

Honestly.

I mean, the sofa, yeah?

It's alright, I've got a few clothes in it.

Yeah, but they're everywhere. Why can't you just sort your washing out?

Well, because I was going to do it later. I was going to have a nap, but I

thought, I don't know, I'll just sleep.

She's not going to be home any time soon.

Honestly... She's been home.

Well, you know, I'll sort it out in a little bit.

Well, you need to sort it out, because otherwise I'm going to be telling your

dad and he's not going to be very happy.

I don't have that kind of attitude.

You're never going to get a girlfriend doing that.

I'm not that... I don't think a girlfriend's going to be too worried if

a few dirty clothes here and there, is she?

Trust me, she will.

All it takes is a little bit of effort.

Come on, you know you're better than that.

No, I don't really... As long as it's like girls or something, I'm really used

to dabbling with, you know.

Dabbling? Is that how you do it?

I don't really... I talk to girls these days. Everyone's like, you know, you've

got these girls' night things. I don't know what you guys talk about.

Yeah, but you've got to be confident and know yourself and just kind of grab it.

What am I supposed to be, like, grabbing, like, in the day?

You can't just grab tits when you meet someone. You can't be, like, nice to

you. Yeah, but you've got to have the banter and then the banter leads to

feeling the boobs.

Well, it's the banter part I struggle with. Like, how do we get between banter

and boobs?

It's that middle part. You just need that confidence. I can show you if you

want. Okay, how am I supposed to be more confident?

Well, for a start, sit up properly.

I feel the confidence.

It's a little bit of effort, and it just shows in your body.

Come on, you're a confident, good -looking lad.

Definitely get it from your father. All right, all right, all right.

Hi, nice to meet you.

What? That's not going to make my pants fall off, is it?

Well, I don't want to know about your pants falling off. I want to know

I'm trying to explain how to get girls.

How would you introduce them, then? What am I supposed to say?

Anything. Come up with a chat -up line.

Are they a good pair? Does the back match the front?

Look, unless they're absolutely wasted, that is not going to work.

Well, OK. Well, what's a good chat -up line?

Just go over, introduce yourself, and ask what their interests are.

I'll have to listen to what they're into.

Honestly, effort.

Well, all right.

You young 'uns, you just don't know how good you've got it. How was girls'

night? It was good.

It was good. Great. Glad we established that.

See? There you go. Does that work?

Yeah, the thing is you start off like that and then ask what they're drinking

it's a fancy cocktail.

I mean, okay.

Alright, so I've talked to them, I've asked them what their favourite colour

and all this lot.

What next?

I can't, what?

Purple? I can't do that.

Why not?

I'm pretty sure that's not that easy.

Is that how Dad pulled you?

Nearing off, yeah.

It worked for me.

Fucking hell.

Right, well, alright, well... Well, okay, well, how do I... So what?

Have you ever felt a boob before?

I don't go around like a serial boob grabber. Like, I don't really

go around just... Maybe you just need to practice.

It's not really doing it for me. You've not really got a handful there, though,

have you? Well, I'm a minus eight cup. What am I supposed to do with these? I'm

a minus eight cup.

What am I supposed to do with these? There's nothing I can do with this.

Yeah. What am I supposed to do? Do I find a pair of, like, you know,

in the supermarket and start grabbing them?

You could. I'm not sure you'd be able to get the paddling motion right on those.

Well, what would you suggest I pick up?

I feel a pair that are near you.

Okay, so this is the problem. I can't, I don't know how to meet the girls to

touch the boobs.

Chicken before the egg, you know.

We've established the problem here.

Where am I going to find a set of boobs?

Ta -da.

You mean ta -da.

Boobs.

Why not practice on these?

It can be our seed pressure.

What? Do you want to see what's under the dress?

And then we can practice.

I mean,

I guess we are now.

What's that going to say if I'm just copying a feel of my step -mum? Yeah,

you've got a little secret.

And we didn't have to know. This is not a little secret.

I don't know. I know, I know.

Hang on a minute, we're just talking about touching boobs here now. And

how fast it could move with a girlfriend.

She's zooming at this point.

So what? I just started going, all right, nice.

That's it.

Okay, we're here now.

You may as well feel both while you're here.

Might as well.

So... How does that feel?

It's kind of cool.

I can see why you said honeydews wouldn't work.

Yeah, so you've got to have some kind of movement.

Yeah, a bit of squish.

Yeah, if there's no squish there, then it's not as much fun.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like you need to be able to get away with this with like a

Ziploc bag of water or something, you know.

Possibly.

I think we need to take your top off now.

Well, hang on a minute, why are they not taking my top off now?

Well, if you're playing with my nipples, maybe I can play with yours.

Okay. Get naked. I mean, I... What do you mean?

Get naked. I feel like this is more about you than me now.

Like... You started this.

I did not start all of this.

But you're right back there, aren't you? Well, you know, like, you know, you put

cake on the table, you're going to take a nibble at some point, you know.

Shall we get these bad boys out?

No, no.

Have you ever seen a pierced one? No, I've never seen pierced nipples.

How's that for you?

Very close up.

Oh,

wow.

Okay, well, they're very... Do you not leave a little metallic -y taste in the

guy's mouth or something? Find out.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh. Do I get to see something else now?

Uh, I mean,

we could do it.

Yeah, I think we should get Lila.

I don't think, like, you know, my dad's not going to... I'm going to dress

myself. Wow. I'm going to dress myself.

You know, I can't tell Dad about, you know, this, I guess.

Definitely not. It's our secret.

Oh, God.

It's going to have to be a secret, actually. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, wow, that's new.

Oh, wow.

Oh, that's... Oh, that's cool.

Tastes naughty.

I don't know what that would taste like.

You might get to find out.

Oh, my God, you cannot tell my dad about this.

Definitely not. This is crazy.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, yeah.

I feel like you could

get a little closer and personal with your tits.

Yeah.

Have you ever had the tit work before? I've never had any of this before. Oh,

this is going to be fun.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah. In the night.

Yeah. Oh,

look at that dick.

Oh. Oh,

yeah.

Oh,

fuck.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

That's really nice.

Want to try

something else?

Yeah, yeah.

Your turn to taste now.

Split.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I know.

Yeah, do I just... Yeah.

Do I just kind of... Put your tongue there.

Throw my tongue around and see what happens? Yeah, see what happens, baby.

Oh.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh.

That tastes nice, baby. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Should I sit down? Can you kind of sit down, I guess? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do

that.

Yeah.

Take your face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh. Oh.

Do you want me to lay down?

Yeah. Yeah.

You want me to lay down a bit over?

Okay, lay down, I think. Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you try the Ben Over one?

Yeah. Are you sure you've got enough energy?

I think so.

Young strapping lad like you, you should have loads of energy.

I should?

I think that's not helping you out actually.

for me, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh, it's like I'm in a mess now.

Have you made a mess?

Oh.

Well, you're going to have to clear it up.

That's for sure. As well as all the mess you've made. here oh god right now uh

well it's not gonna get fixed any sooner is it so yes look

you've made a mess there you've made a mess here

what are we gonna do