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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,177 -[alarm blaring] -[prisoners clamoring] 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.LT 3 00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:05,353 -[siren wailing] -[guard] Break it up! 4 00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:06,745 [dramatic music] 5 00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,313 [all clamoring] 6 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.LT 7 00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:11,707 -Come on! -Go, go, go! 8 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:14,840 Come on, Donny. 9 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:15,798 -[whistling] -Break it up! 10 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:16,929 What are you guys doing? 11 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,931 [all clamoring] 12 00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,281 [squishing] 13 00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:21,891 [all groaning] 14 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,502 [Pablo] Oh, man, you crushed Donald Trump. 15 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:26,678 Come on, Milo, let's do it again. 16 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,420 Fatass here killed my roach, eh? 17 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:32,032 Fatass? Who you calling fatass? 18 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,643 Besides, there is no gambling. 19 00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:35,992 Who's gambling? 20 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,994 Look, I'll double the bet. 21 00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:40,953 All I know is that my cockroach Joe Biden won, 22 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,738 and all those cigarettes belong to me, huh? 23 00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,087 Oh, how you gonna sleep at night 24 00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:45,915 knowing that you won by cheating? 25 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,221 I'll sleep just fine, ese. 26 00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:48,874 Well, at least let me use, uh, 27 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,485 Hillary, my secret weapon. 28 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:51,877 Hillary can't run. 29 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:52,965 Why? 'Cause she's a woman? 30 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,316 No, because she's a cricket. 31 00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,274 -[cricket chirping] -[guard] That's enough. 32 00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,363 Besides, you're getting out today. 33 00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,757 Really? Hey, I almost forgot. 34 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,933 Fellas, if I may have your attention, 35 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:06,979 let me just say that, uh, I will be out today. 36 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,764 And while I'm out there, I'll be thinking of you. 37 00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,070 Not only that, but I'm willing to 38 00:01:10,244 --> 00:01:11,897 run a few errands for you fellas. 39 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,249 Perhaps I can drop by and, uh, do a conjugal visit or two 40 00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:17,207 with the girlfriends, the wives. 41 00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:19,775 I'll only stink the tip in, not the whole chorizo. 42 00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,907 Just, uh, I don't wanna spoil them, all right? 43 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,996 So, you let me know, give me an address, and I'll be right there. 44 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,434 I say you don't go visit my old lady, ese. 45 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,392 Oh, all right. 46 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,873 I won't drop by and say hello to him. 47 00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:31,961 -[inmates laughing] -[inmate 1] Oh, snap! 48 00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:33,832 [inmate 2] Oh, shit. 49 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,747 Excellent performance there, Pablo. 50 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,358 Yeah, I was in rare form, wasn't I, Father? 51 00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:38,837 Sad form, I'm afraid. 52 00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:40,491 How many times have you been here? 53 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:42,493 Oh, I don't know. Who's counting? 54 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,713 [scoffs] Well, the court does, for one. 55 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:47,846 Yeah, well, I guess I am institutionalized. 56 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,675 I'm a lot like you, Father. We just joined different gangs. 57 00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,982 -The church is not a gang. -Well, I don't know, Father. 58 00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:55,463 There's a lot of similarities. The Twelve Apostles, 59 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,465 that sounds like a great name for a gang. 60 00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,293 Uh, you know, they're the OGs. 61 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,556 And, uh, come on, you guys have, uh, uniforms, 62 00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,993 you have a meeting house, you have a shot caller. 63 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,386 I'm serious, Pablo. 64 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,604 A zebra can't change its stripes. 65 00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:07,692 You're not a zebra. 66 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,041 More like a burro. 67 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:12,088 Look, I've been around the block a few times, 68 00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:14,046 and one thing that I've learned is that the truth 69 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:15,657 is not all that important. 70 00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:18,094 In other words, fake it until you make it. 71 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,444 You never made it, pendejo. 72 00:02:20,618 --> 00:02:22,490 Look at you. Look what you've become. 73 00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,622 You're hopeless, Pablo. You're hopeless. 74 00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:26,842 Don't lose hope on me, Father. I'll be back soon. 75 00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:29,323 -[lighthearted music] -[both laughing] 76 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,325 All right, wake up, Girl Scouts. 77 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:34,980 It's inmate 4962, ready to blow this birdcage. 78 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,157 -Uh, let's have my clothes, please, pronto. Remember... -There's no clothes. 79 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,507 ...I want it lightly pressed, and no wrinkles. 80 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,073 And, uh, hurry, I'm late. 81 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,945 -There's no clothes. -I said I'm late. 82 00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,468 I got a date with your sister. Would you hurry? 83 00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:46,166 I saw you come in with no clothes. 84 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:47,602 -You see-- Have you seen any clothes? -No, I-- 85 00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,299 Never saw one-- I didn't see any clothes. 86 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:50,866 No, no, no, don't get funny. If you want me to, 87 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,128 I'll go out like this. 88 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,564 Uh-uh, no can do. 89 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,087 Those belong to the state. 90 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,524 You can't leave the premises with those. 91 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:57,655 Oh, yeah? Well, what am I supposed to do? 92 00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:58,787 Go out there butt naked? 93 00:02:58,961 --> 00:02:59,962 Hang tight. 94 00:03:00,136 --> 00:03:01,529 -Here we go. -[laughs] 95 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,618 -Stand by. -Give him the priest's clothes. 96 00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,446 -Priest's clothes. -Are you serious? 97 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,969 I can't wear priest's clothes out there. 98 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,057 It'd be sacrilegious, but-- 99 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:10,059 Come on, Pablo! 100 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,496 I just heard you say you're just like Father Tom. 101 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,194 These clothes are better than the thongs 102 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,283 and black fishnet stockings that you wear at home. 103 00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:17,806 [guard 1] Get the hell out of here! 104 00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,070 [guard 2] I don't know how he knows. 105 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,637 I didn't tell him. 106 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,160 ["Sinner, Not a Saint" by Little Willie G.] 107 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,988 [police siren wailing] 108 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,994 ♪ Hey, little girl I tell you true ♪ 109 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:35,432 ♪ I'm as mean as a cobra through and through ♪ 110 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,261 ♪ Don't care to be called what I ain't ♪ 111 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:41,133 ♪ I confess I'm a sinner not a saint ♪ 112 00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,614 ♪ Hey, hey, hey hey, little girl ♪ 113 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,442 ♪ Don't you mess around with me ♪ 114 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,966 ♪ 'Cause I'm just a sinner not a saint... ♪ 115 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,099 Uh, you play pretty good. 116 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:53,929 Are you blind from birth or uh, or uh, self-abuse? 117 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,018 I'm blind. I'm not deaf, asshole. 118 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,716 The Lord's gonna heal you, son. 119 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,284 ♪ If you fall into my web you're gonna cry ♪ 120 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,721 ♪ Hey, hey, hey hey, little girl ♪ 121 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,549 ♪ Don't you mess around with me ♪ 122 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,422 ♪ 'Cause I'm just a sinner not a saint ♪ 123 00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:10,467 ♪ Oh, yes, I'm a sinner ♪ 124 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,164 ♪ In my book, that's a winner ♪ 125 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:13,688 ♪ I live by my... ♪ 126 00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,124 Damn, Güero, I can never depend on you. 127 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,126 Hey, where's my money? 128 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,259 You can see. It's a miracle! 129 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,912 And I can see you ain't no preacher either. 130 00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,697 -Where's my money, asshole? -Yeah, yeah, your money. 131 00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:23,915 Uh, I gave it to him. 132 00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,134 He, he's got it. 133 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,876 -What money? -I'm good. 134 00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,880 ♪ Don't care to be called what I ain't ♪ 135 00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:34,317 ♪ I confess I'm a sinner not a saint ♪ 136 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,754 ♪ Hey, hey, hey hey, little girl ♪ 137 00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,843 ♪ Don't you mess around with me... ♪ 138 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:42,456 -And then there's these guys, I just... [continues inaudibly] -Mom. 139 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,849 -And then they call me mamacita. -Mom. 140 00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:46,068 -Mom! -And I'm just like-- 141 00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,070 Sofia, what do you want? 142 00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:49,898 Don't you see I'm on the phone with your tía? 143 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,291 Drink your Slurpee. 144 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,119 [speaks in Spanish] 145 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,687 ♪ Hey, hey, hey hey, little girl ♪ 146 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,602 ♪ Don't you mess around with me... ♪ 147 00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:00,561 [laughing] 148 00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,695 Really, here. 149 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,438 [laughing] 150 00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:11,615 ♪ For me there's nothing better I follow to the letter ♪ 151 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:15,271 ♪ That's do unto others for they do it to you ♪ 152 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,708 ♪ If you come a-knocking at my door ♪ 153 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,972 ♪ Don't say that you didn't know the score... ♪ 154 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:24,541 -[drink thuds] -[gasps] Oh, my God! 155 00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:27,109 -[screams] -Here. Communion, boy. 156 00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,502 Yeah, you're gonna be all right. He's a-- 157 00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,199 You're a lucky man. God bless you. 158 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,462 Why didn't you do something? 159 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,246 [speaks in Spanish] That's the man of God. 160 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:37,467 ♪ Just like a spider lures a fly ♪ 161 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,904 ♪ If you fall into my web you're gonna cry ♪ 162 00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,385 -[indistinct announcement on speaker] -♪ Hey, hey, hey, little girl ♪ 163 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,169 ♪ Don't you mess around with me ♪ 164 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,868 ♪ 'Cause I'm just a sinner not a saint... ♪ 165 00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:49,784 Good God. 166 00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:52,700 What are you doing in an alley like this, my child? 167 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,616 -Headed to work. -Work, huh? Well, uh, 168 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,533 -what, uh, sort of work are you into? -What do you want me to be into? 169 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:03,537 ♪ If you come a-knocking at my door ♪ 170 00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:06,757 ♪ Don't say that you didn't know the score ♪ 171 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,544 ♪ Don't care to be called what I ain't... ♪ 172 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,460 [dog snarls, barking] 173 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,505 ♪ Hey, hey, hey hey, little girl ♪ 174 00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,551 ♪ Don't you mess around with me... ♪ 175 00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,554 -Oh, padre.Father. Father. -[mumbling] 176 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,338 No, no, I need to confess. 177 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,427 -I can't. I don't have time. -Where do I confess to? 178 00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:25,994 Look, give me 20 bucks and I'll absolve you. 179 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,169 -T-- twenty? -Yeah. 180 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,518 Órale.It went up? 181 00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,085 -Yeah, yeah. -Okay, check it out. 182 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,303 Look, you know, that bitch deserved to die. 183 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,870 -I don't wanna know. -Okay. 184 00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,829 Lord, forgive this man for, for whatever he did. 185 00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,396 Hey, remember, you can't tell nobody, right? 186 00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:37,745 -You can't tell nobody, right? -Ah, not a word. 187 00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,486 Órale!I'm saved! 188 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,445 For 20 bucks, you can come get saved, eh? 189 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,708 Hell yeah. Grandma, I'm coming. 190 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,362 I'll be there in a minute, 191 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:48,233 before I kill this other bitch. 192 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,887 -[woman] Please forgive me. -[Pablo] Oh, you're forgiven. 193 00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:51,628 Let's have the $20. 194 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,456 The Lord knows what you did. Lay off the Aqua Net. 195 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,197 Put it on your hair. No, no-- Don't sniff it. 196 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:57,373 -Yes, sir? -Padre,I smoke scante. 197 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,854 We all do, ese. [speaks in Spanish] 198 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:02,247 -I've been bad. -Oh, yes, you have. 199 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,553 Yeah, start being good now. 200 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,294 -Next? -I'm not a Catholic. 201 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,948 I'm just following that girl. 202 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,732 I don't blame you. Get over there. Keep the $20. 203 00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,647 -You're gonna need it. [chuckles] -I killed a man. 204 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:12,693 ♪ I'm just a sinner not a saint ♪ 205 00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,086 ♪ Hey, hey, hey hey, little girl ♪ 206 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,871 ♪ Don't you mess around with me ♪ 207 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,221 ♪ Cause I'm just a sinner not a saint ♪ 208 00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,789 ♪ Hey, hey, hey hey, little girl ♪ 209 00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:23,573 ♪ Don't you mess around with me ♪ 210 00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:26,402 ♪ 'Cause I'm just a sinner not a saint ♪ 211 00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:30,406 -What do you-- Whoa! -Mr. Valenzuela? 212 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,408 Look, I gave to the homeless already, man. 213 00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,325 I'm Officer Ramirez. I'm your parole officer. 214 00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,196 How do I know, uh, you are who you say you are? 215 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,502 Let's see some ID. 216 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,548 [whimsical music] 217 00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,073 Good enough? 218 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,205 Wow, you even look sloppy on your ID. 219 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,034 What do we got here? 220 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,166 -Where? -Right here. 221 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:52,994 Mm. 222 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,430 [Pablo] Hey. Hey, that's my sandwich. 223 00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:55,953 Don't take my fucking sandwich. 224 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,607 Forget about your fucking sandwich, all right? 225 00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:00,175 Are you undercover? 226 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,090 No. Why do you ask? 227 00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,526 You dress like that all the time? 228 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,223 Yeah. What's wrong? 229 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,447 -Really? -Who are you? 230 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,493 The fucking fashion police? 231 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,930 No, no, I guess standards are down all over. All right. 232 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,672 Enough about me. Why are you not out there looking for a job, sir? 233 00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,282 Hey, it's tough out there, man. 234 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,718 You wanna go back to prison, sir? 235 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,198 You think you could do that for me? 236 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,243 -It might be the best. -Shh, shh, shh. 237 00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,550 What have you got here? 238 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,770 Oh, that, that's marijuana. It's legal now. 239 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,423 I'm not against this. 240 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:32,773 I have glaucoma. 241 00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,688 I taught a course on this. 242 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:35,993 Yeah? You did-- They teach that? 243 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,256 -Mm-hm. I taught it. -Really? 244 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,258 Yeah. I had 420 students. 245 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,521 Wow. 246 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:44,001 -Mm. -Okay, puff-puff-pass. 247 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,263 [croaking] 248 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:47,265 [groaning] 249 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,006 I think I see Jesus. 250 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,878 -This shit's good. -Yeah, I know. 251 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,314 Let me, let me have a puff. 252 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,229 Here, uh, uh, let's smoke together. 253 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,579 -Yeah, can I smoke with you? -No! You're on parole, stupid. 254 00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:57,711 You're stupid or what? 255 00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:58,755 What? 256 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,365 -[coughing] -Oh, man. 257 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,063 That's wrong. 258 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,022 -That's a pizza? -[Pablo] Yeah. Yeah. 259 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,720 I'm so hungry. 260 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:08,939 Thank you. He'll pay you. 261 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,899 You don't take my pizza, my joint and my sandwich, 262 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,465 you fat fuck! 263 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,989 Nothing wrong with my hearing. 264 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,860 I want you to report to Mama Love's house now 265 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:18,514 or I'mma put your ass back in prison. 266 00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,776 Shit. 267 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:21,822 Oh, I got a tip for you. 268 00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:24,215 [upbeat music] 269 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,440 [horn honking] 270 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:34,965 [brakes screeching] 271 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:37,315 -[laughing] -Pablito! 272 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,143 [Pablo] The usual suspects. 273 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,058 -Hey. -When did you get out, man? 274 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,843 -Hey, look at that. You wanna, you wanna ride? -Oh. 275 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:45,062 Hey, bro, you go to Target, you gotta return 'em, bro. 276 00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:46,847 [laughs] I ain't got time for that. 277 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,631 Hey, has anybody here seen Güero? 278 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:49,806 Güero's inside. 279 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,416 Hey, be careful with Mama Love. 280 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,896 -Just don't let her get on top. -[chuckles] 281 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,637 Prison love, bro. 282 00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,683 [snoring] 283 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:59,294 Look at you, you sloth, working hard. 284 00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:02,340 Oh, shit. I didn't know they let old putos like you in here. 285 00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:03,646 Apparently, they do. You're here. 286 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,606 Ah, come on, bro. Let's... [laughs] 287 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,085 [speaks in Spanish] 288 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,870 Well, well, well. 289 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:12,133 -[Pablo and Güero chuckle] -Is it who I think it is? 290 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:16,180 -Oh, my God. Pablo Valenzuela. -[chuckles] 291 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,791 Look at you. 292 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,793 -You don't change, do you? -No. 293 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,838 No, I'm not talking about physically. 294 00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:23,666 I'm talking about mentally. 295 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,233 You just never change. 296 00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:26,756 [laughing] 297 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,584 Oh, you got your side show with you. 298 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:31,195 -Yeah. -Guanale Lupe. 299 00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:33,850 No, that's not my name. My name is Güero, Mother Love. 300 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,330 [speaks in Spanish] 301 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:38,159 -Man, forget all that. -Stupid bitch. 302 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,944 -Excuse me? -I said you look 36. 303 00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,207 Oh, okay. Yeah, well, I'm out anyway. 304 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,732 Come on here and give me some love. [grunts] 305 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:48,778 -Let me catch you, boy, before I catch you. -[Pablo laughs] 306 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:51,128 [Güero] I always wanted a threesome. 307 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:54,828 [Mother Love over PA] Attention, all new degenerates. 308 00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,614 Get your no-good lazy asses up 309 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:02,270 and into the living room in five minutes 310 00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,924 for orientation. 311 00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,362 Hello, I'm Pablo Valenzuela. I might be a little late. 312 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:08,885 There, there I am, right there. 313 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,671 -Thank you. -[chuckles] 314 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,675 Yeah, we'll be out of here in no time. 315 00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:17,241 [whispering] How long you been here? 316 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:18,590 About ten years. 317 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,114 -Ten years? -Yeah. 318 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,898 I'm telling you, this guy's got this woody. 319 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:23,508 Right? I mean, real woody. 320 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,467 I mean, it's like, huge. You know-- 321 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,382 Hey, hey, listen up in here! 322 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,515 Y'all must not know who I am. 323 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,995 It's your girl. 324 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,518 Yeah, Mama Love. 325 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,956 Some of y'all know me, some of you don't. 326 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,480 I'm gonna be your mama up in here. You hear me? 327 00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:41,396 This is my house, and I got rules, huh? 328 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,528 Some of y'all think I don't see you, but, huh, 329 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,575 when I take these glasses off, I see you. 330 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,272 I see you too. 331 00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,363 Hold this for me, baby. 332 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:56,454 I am the boss, the boss lady. You hear me? 333 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,283 Any rule that I make, it goes. 334 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,850 Rule number one, 335 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,374 no profanity in this house, 336 00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:05,202 -unless it's me, huh? -[mouths] Fuck you. 337 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,161 And I don't wanna see you drinking, 338 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:08,858 you better not be smoking, 339 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:11,165 no vaping, no nothing. 340 00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,558 Hold on. That's, like, four rules in one rule. 341 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,299 It's my rules. 342 00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,693 I don't have no problems kicking you out. You hear me? 343 00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,303 What I say, go. 344 00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:20,957 Shut up and pay attention, will you? 345 00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,829 Will you stop now? You gonna be kicked out of here. 346 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:24,526 Can I punch my clown? 347 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,093 Hey, shut up, man. 348 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:27,703 Well, you've been doing it. 349 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:29,661 -What are you slapping for now? -[snickers] 350 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,448 And you're not gonna disrespect me. You hear me? 351 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,668 Man, I'm just saying, you think just because 352 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:39,846 you paid your debt to society, you're good? 353 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:41,586 No, you're not good. 354 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,937 You're good when you get out of my house. 355 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:45,939 I'm Mama Love. 356 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:47,549 Mama Love for a reason. 357 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,290 Cause I would love to kick your ass. 358 00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:51,074 -Oh, excuse me, Lord. -No, no, no. 359 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,946 No cussing, huh? You said. 360 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,774 -Mm-mm. -[Mama Love] You're welcome to be here, 361 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,732 but you gotta follow the rules. 362 00:12:56,906 --> 00:13:00,127 After breakfast, I expect each one of you to get up 363 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,476 and go look for a job. 364 00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,521 I've got companies that are willing 365 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,349 and ready to hire you. 366 00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,003 But you gotta get up and go. 367 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,527 Pass out these flyers for me, baby. 368 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,181 These companies are working, 369 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,053 willing to work with you. 370 00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:14,576 Each one of you. 371 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:16,143 Make sure you give him two. 372 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:17,622 You ain't getting no lunch. 373 00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,320 -Mm-hm. Yeah. -[muted] 374 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,498 -[birds chirping] -[gentle lullaby] 375 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:28,068 [all snoring] 376 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,423 [snoring] 377 00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,040 -[alarm beeping] -Mm. 378 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,738 [farts, grunts] 379 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:47,827 [groans] 380 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:56,096 [grunts] Hey, good morning, Reverend Willy Dollars. 381 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,575 You know what? [chuckles] 382 00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,360 My dollars is on the way. 383 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,536 Send them blessings my way. 384 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,146 Amen. [chuckles] 385 00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:05,975 Ooh. [chuckles] 386 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:11,894 [all snoring] 387 00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:14,941 [laughs] 388 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,899 Ooh. 389 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,467 In the mighty name of Jesus. 390 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:22,035 [siren blaring] 391 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,603 -Jesus! -[screaming] 392 00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,128 -[siren continues blaring] -[shouting] 393 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:29,999 [laughing] 394 00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,355 [Mama Love over PA] Good morning, residents. 395 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:39,661 You know what time it is. 396 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:41,402 It's time to get up, 397 00:14:41,576 --> 00:14:43,273 get out and get a job. 398 00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:45,188 That's right. [sing-songy] Get up, uh. 399 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,451 Get on up, uh. Get up. 400 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,626 [normal] Let's do it. 401 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,193 [all groaning] 402 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,068 -[Pablo] Hey, where's Güero? -[man 1] He's in the room, doing your old lady. 403 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,635 -[man 2] Yeah, he's pounding your woman like a door, man. -[Pablo] What? 404 00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:01,204 Well, well, what's going on here? 405 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:02,771 Fifty Shades of Stupid? 406 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:03,946 Really, Lucy? 407 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,426 You couldn't wait three months? 408 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,341 Three months, bebé? 409 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,430 I wouldn't wait three days. 410 00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,040 But don't worry, bebé. 411 00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:15,697 Let me finish with Güero and I'll be yours. 412 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,960 Or better yet, join us. 413 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,657 Yeah, Pablo, come on. 414 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,572 Get in here, bro. It's nice. 415 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,226 All right, all right, all right. We're, we're cool. 416 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,575 Uh, I'm not jealous. 417 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:25,968 I can do better. 418 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,188 No, I can't. 419 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,233 [comical music] 420 00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,236 Pablo. Pablo, wait. 421 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,064 [Pablo] I can't believe you porked my old lady. 422 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:36,413 [Güero] Speaking of pork, let's get some tacos. 423 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,632 [Pablo] Okay. 424 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,590 [Martin] All are welcome here. 425 00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:42,506 We have the rib of Adam and the rack of Eve. 426 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,206 ♪ We want our baby back baby back, baby back ribs ♪ 427 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,947 Don't listen to them! 428 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,123 [Arthur] Tender ribs from the Lord! 429 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:52,952 That's right, we've got the biggest racks you've ever seen. 430 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,301 All kosher meat. 431 00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:55,955 Get behind me, Satan! 432 00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,869 [speaks in Spanish] 433 00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,960 -You're in purple! You're dinosaurs! -Gimme your tacos! 434 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,832 -Are you even legal? -[screaming] 435 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,139 [Güero] You're gonna love this, Pablo. Look at this. 436 00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,228 It's like hometown buffet, but free. 437 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,664 [Pablo] Oh, the memory of it has changed. 438 00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:11,231 Wasn't that place some kind of porn, uh, 439 00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,754 planned parenthood thing? 440 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:13,929 [Güero] Yeah, it was. Got shut down 441 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,104 by the health department. 442 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,671 They ran out of mops and-- 443 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:17,933 But they made it a church 'cause they figured 444 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,630 everybody was already kneeling. 445 00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,110 Now the Lutherans have it. 446 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,677 [Pablo] Lutherans? What are Lutherans? 447 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,200 [Güero] It's the largest splinter group 448 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,289 from the Protestant Reformation program. 449 00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:29,249 They follow the teachings of the 16th century monk, 450 00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:32,861 uh, Martin, Martin Luther, 451 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,689 Martin Luther Vandross. 452 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,518 -Oh, I mean, they believe in Christ, right? -[Güero] Oh, absolutely. 453 00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,389 Yeah, but it's a kinder, gentler Christ. 454 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,652 He's not nailed to the cross. He's up there with Velcro. 455 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,437 Yeah, come on. Let's eat. Come on. 456 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,873 [Pablo] Oh, you know a lot. 457 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,614 -Yeah, they believe in tacos. -What? 458 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,007 Yeah, they got to make the quota. 459 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:49,138 And competition's fierce. 460 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,922 Tacos are the devil. 461 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,142 That's why they resemble the private part of the female. 462 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,492 Don't listen to them. We have tacos. 463 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:58,582 Brave Lord, with the wood of the cross! 464 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,193 Yes, indeed! Yes, we do! 465 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:01,977 Well, I just got out of jail, so, you know, 466 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,892 I really want a taco now. 467 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,503 [sizzling] 468 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,114 [man] Tacos? 469 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,030 [speaks in Spanish] 470 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,902 Did I tell you or what? 471 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,686 Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot. You're a big spender. 472 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,775 Hey, anything for you. You're my friend. 473 00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:18,950 Plus, you just got out of prison. 474 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,387 How long were you in this time? 475 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,389 You know, part of my life sentence 476 00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,652 -is on the installment plan. -Huh. 477 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,959 Hey, who are those guys over there? 478 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:29,831 Jehovah's Witnesses. 479 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,267 All they give you is a hot pocket, 480 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:33,661 -but they do home delivery. -Mm-hm. 481 00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,793 Who's that Asian guy dressed like a carrot? 482 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,926 [Güero] Fuck him. That guy's a jerk. 483 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,493 He's a vegan. He shaved my head 484 00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,103 and dropped me off at the airport. 485 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,062 [Pablo] Mm-hm. 486 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,715 [speaks in Spanish] 487 00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:47,631 -Oh, some Mexican guy. -Mm-hm. 488 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,286 I don't know, Güero, you know, I've been thinking about it. 489 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:53,594 Uh, we've got to find... [sighs] some other scam, man. 490 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:56,336 I can't continue to be going back to prison. I'm too old for that. 491 00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,685 What's the matter with you? You getting soft? 492 00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,034 We go in prison, we get out of prison. 493 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,470 That's how we live our life, bro. 494 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,342 Not no more. I don't mind the going in. 495 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,647 It's the getting out that's a lot tougher, 496 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,475 with these new three-strike laws. 497 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,260 Nah, it's all the same. Don't worry about it, man. 498 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:08,826 -We're good. -We're good? 499 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,002 -We're good. -So, so your whole philosophy 500 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:12,047 is wrapped around-- What are we gonna do the rest of our life? 501 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,614 Come here and eat free tacos? 502 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,529 Tacos! Tacos are the devil! 503 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,096 [Pablo] Sometimes I think you're just pulling my leg. 504 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,749 I know you're smarter than that. 505 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,882 We should think about tomorrow. 506 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,971 Tomorrow, I'mma come back and get more tacos. 507 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:26,148 You're hopeless. But the tacos are good. 508 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,324 [vendors] Tacos! Tacos! Tacos! 509 00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:30,848 Ooh, that one's got a hair on it. 510 00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,589 -Come on, sucker. -[laughs] 511 00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,246 [rooster crowing] 512 00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,293 [snoring] 513 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,774 [alarm beeping] 514 00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:47,822 Oh, damn, I gotta get up and find a job. 515 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,824 [groans, speaks in Spanish] 516 00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,479 [organ music] 517 00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:57,048 Father Perez was such an incredibly generous man. 518 00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:01,140 He collected hundreds of thousands of dollars through his television show 519 00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:05,709 to give to so many charities and to do the work of the Lord. 520 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,930 And he was such an animal lover. 521 00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,280 Mm. 522 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:14,675 Yes, Father Perez has passed. 523 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:19,027 But soon, there will be another merciful soul 524 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:21,334 that will come to take care of us all 525 00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:24,119 and lead us to our path to the Lord. 526 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,642 [all] Amen. 527 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,735 ♪ You gotta work ♪ 528 00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:34,216 ♪ Then get that money get that money ♪ 529 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,653 ♪ You gotta work ♪ 530 00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:39,961 ♪ Then get that money get that money ♪ 531 00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:41,919 ♪ Work, work ♪ 532 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,966 ♪ Get that money get that money ♪ 533 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,750 ♪ Work, work ♪ 534 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:48,099 ♪ Get that money ♪ 535 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,101 [organ music] 536 00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:02,201 Excuse me. Are you here for the job? 537 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,290 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 538 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:05,508 Which one? 539 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:07,467 Uh... Hm? 540 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,686 The priest or the janitor? 541 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,646 Oh, what pays more? 542 00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:15,257 I don't really know. 543 00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,868 Oh, it's okay. I, I can do both. 544 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,915 What order do you belong to? 545 00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,046 Order? 546 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,918 Uh, restraining. 547 00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,876 Uh, do you do confessions? 548 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:29,880 Oh, I'm no snitch, but I have, one time. 549 00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:31,273 Do you have documents? 550 00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,319 [stuttering] Documents? Uh... 551 00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:34,972 Paper. You got papers? 552 00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,409 Hey, I was born here. 553 00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,281 -Great. -Yeah. 554 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:41,762 Welcome to our church of pain and suffering. 555 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,503 -Oh. -Mostly suffering. 556 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:45,331 Oh, I know about that. 557 00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,681 I suffer from hemorrhoids. That's suffering. 558 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,335 I have the squishy kind, 559 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:51,424 but I'll tell you about that later. 560 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,034 Yeah. Follow us. 561 00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:54,688 Okay, follow us. 562 00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:55,950 -Sure. -This way. 563 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,213 [whimsical music] 564 00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,824 This is Father Perez's office. 565 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,174 Spent a lot of time in here. 566 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:04,828 These are your clothes here. 567 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,048 -Oh. -I got your laptop. 568 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:08,702 -Where's the laptop? -Right here. 569 00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:09,877 [Pablo] Oh. 570 00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,313 Everything you need to know 571 00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,881 about Father Perez is in that laptop. 572 00:21:14,055 --> 00:21:16,971 Okay. Uh, you wouldn't have the password, would you? 573 00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:20,235 The password is pain, ampersand, 574 00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,890 suffering, capital S. 575 00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,979 Oh, I should have guessed. [laughs] 576 00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:26,807 We're so happy to have you. 577 00:21:26,981 --> 00:21:28,983 Yeah, Mr., uh-- Your name again? 578 00:21:29,157 --> 00:21:31,202 -Pablo. -PadrePablo. 579 00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:33,596 -Yes. -Father Pablo, welcome. 580 00:21:34,118 --> 00:21:35,381 We'll give you time to get acquainted 581 00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:37,034 with the office and get comfortable. 582 00:21:37,731 --> 00:21:40,995 -Okay. -And if you need anything, just call us. 583 00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:42,562 Oh, I will. I will, yes. 584 00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:44,781 And Jack here will keep you company. 585 00:21:44,955 --> 00:21:46,087 Jack, huh? 586 00:21:46,261 --> 00:21:47,306 Oh. 587 00:21:49,525 --> 00:21:52,006 [donkey braying] 588 00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:55,052 [birds chirping] 589 00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:56,793 [organ music] 590 00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:58,665 That concludes our reading 591 00:21:58,839 --> 00:22:01,450 of all the begats in Genesis. 592 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,366 Simply my favorite. 593 00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:06,629 Just wonderful to hear about all those people 594 00:22:06,803 --> 00:22:08,588 having fun in the Old Testament. 595 00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:10,198 [laughs] 596 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,548 Ah, it's usually so violent. 597 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,812 Let's take a look at our board. 598 00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:17,074 -[bell dings] -[heavenly music] 599 00:22:17,248 --> 00:22:20,121 Oh, thank you, Brother Chuy, 600 00:22:20,295 --> 00:22:23,385 for your $2000 donation. 601 00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:25,605 It will be returned to you... 602 00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:28,172 ...in blessings. 603 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,435 Look at that. $2000 in less than, 604 00:22:29,609 --> 00:22:30,958 what, half a second? 605 00:22:31,132 --> 00:22:34,004 The Lord knows your needs, Chuy. 606 00:22:34,178 --> 00:22:36,050 As do many others. 607 00:22:36,224 --> 00:22:37,617 But He will provide for them. 608 00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:39,140 -[bell dings] -Oh, look! 609 00:22:39,314 --> 00:22:40,359 Another donation. 610 00:22:40,533 --> 00:22:42,099 [laughs] 611 00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:43,797 Even bigger. 612 00:22:44,711 --> 00:22:45,886 Blessings. 613 00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,671 Holy shit, this is a cash cow. 614 00:22:48,845 --> 00:22:50,412 My brothers and sisters, 615 00:22:51,326 --> 00:22:54,329 the Lord appreciates all your contributions. 616 00:22:54,503 --> 00:22:56,940 Please call the number on your screen 617 00:22:57,811 --> 00:22:59,856 and the Lord will bless you. 618 00:23:03,556 --> 00:23:06,689 I said, the number on your screen. 619 00:23:08,343 --> 00:23:10,084 Brother Juan? 620 00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:13,174 [laughs] 621 00:23:13,348 --> 00:23:14,784 You piece of shit, 622 00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:17,700 put the goddamn number on the goddamn screen! 623 00:23:17,874 --> 00:23:19,789 [both laughing] 624 00:23:21,095 --> 00:23:22,226 Ah. 625 00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:24,533 Thank you, Brother Juan. 626 00:23:25,534 --> 00:23:26,492 Bless you. 627 00:23:26,666 --> 00:23:28,581 He's got a temper, huh? [laughs] 628 00:23:28,755 --> 00:23:30,539 My fellow sinners, 629 00:23:30,713 --> 00:23:33,934 remember to call this number and make your contributions 630 00:23:34,108 --> 00:23:36,458 to help us spread the word of God 631 00:23:37,285 --> 00:23:42,246 and his loving, patient mercy. 632 00:23:43,117 --> 00:23:46,337 Until next week, at the same blessed time. 633 00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:48,078 [organ music playing] 634 00:23:48,252 --> 00:23:49,732 [gentle chime] 635 00:23:49,906 --> 00:23:50,907 Cut. 636 00:23:51,952 --> 00:23:53,954 [speaks in Spanish] 637 00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:00,221 I'd hate to be Juan. 638 00:24:00,395 --> 00:24:01,570 [laughs] 639 00:24:01,744 --> 00:24:02,702 [speaks in Spanish] 640 00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,661 -Priest got crazy. -Ooh. 641 00:24:05,835 --> 00:24:08,534 I can't believe there's that kind of money in this thing. 642 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:09,970 [Perez] Where's my wine? 643 00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:11,232 Oh, my chest. 644 00:24:11,406 --> 00:24:12,842 [groaning] 645 00:24:13,016 --> 00:24:14,365 [body thuds] 646 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:16,280 [flat tone] 647 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,760 Oh, man. 648 00:24:20,110 --> 00:24:22,330 ♪ 'Cause I'm wrapped up tied up ♪ 649 00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:23,984 ♪ Tangled up in Jesus ♪ 650 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:25,986 ♪ And I don't wanna get loose... ♪ 651 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,075 Hey, show time. You ready? 652 00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:30,643 Of course I'm ready. Just watch and learn. 653 00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:33,384 Uh, listen, put 20 bucks on Holy Moly 654 00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:35,386 at San Anita on the fourth. 655 00:24:35,952 --> 00:24:37,214 [tense music] 656 00:24:37,388 --> 00:24:38,781 [Chato] Listen, you son of a bitch. 657 00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:41,044 If I don't have that money by four o'clock, 658 00:24:41,218 --> 00:24:44,570 I'm gonna cut your balls off, cram 'em down your throat. 659 00:24:44,744 --> 00:24:46,746 Do you understand? You're gonna pay-- 660 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,750 What kind of filthy talk is that in front of our daughter? 661 00:24:50,924 --> 00:24:52,578 I'm, I'm sorry, honey, 662 00:24:52,752 --> 00:24:54,928 I was just taking care of a little business. 663 00:24:55,102 --> 00:24:57,191 Father Perez's show is about to start. 664 00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:59,193 I'll deal with you later. 665 00:25:00,586 --> 00:25:02,501 Okay. Thank you. 666 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:04,590 [whimpers] 667 00:25:04,764 --> 00:25:06,766 [cheerful theme music] 668 00:25:09,899 --> 00:25:11,379 How are you? How you doing? 669 00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,250 Uh, uh, those of you who have tuned in 670 00:25:13,424 --> 00:25:14,904 expecting to see Father Perez, 671 00:25:15,078 --> 00:25:17,428 I'm sad to, uh, let you know 672 00:25:17,603 --> 00:25:20,083 that Father Perez is, uh, no longer with us. 673 00:25:20,257 --> 00:25:22,564 And, uh, he was a good man, so I think it's only proper 674 00:25:22,738 --> 00:25:24,827 that we should have a moment of silence for him. 675 00:25:25,001 --> 00:25:26,002 Okay? 676 00:25:26,829 --> 00:25:28,396 All right, that's enough. 677 00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:32,052 Anyways, remember that no gift is too small or too big. 678 00:25:32,226 --> 00:25:34,315 We need to continue to give, 679 00:25:34,489 --> 00:25:37,231 and give very, uh, uh, generously to this work. 680 00:25:37,405 --> 00:25:39,799 The work of the Lord is very, very expensive. 681 00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:43,237 You know, these nuns aren't cheap.[laughs] 682 00:25:43,411 --> 00:25:45,369 Hey, Brother Juan, hold the camera steady, damn it. 683 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,328 And, and Güero, put the number 684 00:25:47,502 --> 00:25:48,808 -on the screen there. -What? 685 00:25:48,982 --> 00:25:50,287 -Right, uh, uh-- -What'd you say? 686 00:25:50,461 --> 00:25:52,725 -The number on the screen. -Oh, sorry. 687 00:25:52,899 --> 00:25:55,423 Put it on there so people will know where to send the money. Sorry, folks. 688 00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,207 Now... [clears throat] to continue the Lord's work-- 689 00:25:57,381 --> 00:25:59,166 Not your number, stupid! 690 00:25:59,340 --> 00:26:01,168 Oh, what do you want? To send the money to your cash? 691 00:26:01,342 --> 00:26:02,212 You trying to cut me out? 692 00:26:02,386 --> 00:26:03,562 That 1800 number. 693 00:26:03,736 --> 00:26:04,998 Anyways, what we're saying here 694 00:26:05,172 --> 00:26:07,000 is that you need to give a little extra 695 00:26:07,174 --> 00:26:09,916 to, to, to have, uh, better employees here. 696 00:26:10,090 --> 00:26:11,439 -And, uh... -[mouths] 697 00:26:12,745 --> 00:26:14,137 I'm surprised you didn't say, "Hi, Mom." 698 00:26:14,311 --> 00:26:15,835 I mean, can you be a bit more professional? 699 00:26:16,009 --> 00:26:17,358 Hi, Mom! 700 00:26:17,924 --> 00:26:19,142 He doesn't have one. 701 00:26:19,316 --> 00:26:21,797 Let the Lord shine His light on you 702 00:26:21,971 --> 00:26:23,538 and not the one from the cops. 703 00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:25,409 -You know-- -Go, Raiders! 704 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,368 All right, you Raider fans? Give, then, all right? 705 00:26:27,542 --> 00:26:29,588 We got a, we got a Raider clown here. 706 00:26:29,762 --> 00:26:32,416 -And now the bilingual show. [speaks in Spanish] -Chicharrón. 707 00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,810 [speaks in Spanish] 708 00:26:39,772 --> 00:26:41,469 That was a little public service announcement in Spanish 709 00:26:41,643 --> 00:26:43,123 for you bilingual people, okay? 710 00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:45,081 Man, we got bills. We got this, uh, 711 00:26:45,255 --> 00:26:47,083 this, this studio here. [clears throat] 712 00:26:47,257 --> 00:26:48,781 I have to borrow some money for my tíaCuca, 713 00:26:48,955 --> 00:26:51,087 -so, uh, remember... -[laughs] 714 00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:52,698 ...when you give to us, 715 00:26:52,872 --> 00:26:54,961 you're giving to yourselves. 716 00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:58,617 -I don't want to watch this. -[TV turns off] 717 00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:02,446 This is, uh, Preacher Pablo, telling you that, uh, 718 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:06,189 the Lord knows where you live, so give until it hurts. 719 00:27:06,363 --> 00:27:07,408 Hasta la vista. 720 00:27:07,582 --> 00:27:08,888 Oh, I put the wrong number up. 721 00:27:09,062 --> 00:27:10,541 -Start. Do it again. -Some other, 722 00:27:10,716 --> 00:27:11,934 some other charity is going to get the money 723 00:27:12,108 --> 00:27:13,196 just because you couldn't get it right. 724 00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:14,763 I'll get it right. Relax. 725 00:27:14,937 --> 00:27:16,156 -[crickets chirping] -[Pablo] Damn, man, 726 00:27:16,330 --> 00:27:17,418 it seemed so easy, Güero. 727 00:27:17,592 --> 00:27:18,854 We've fucked it up big time. 728 00:27:19,028 --> 00:27:20,856 -Yeah, it's over. -Let's do it again. 729 00:27:21,030 --> 00:27:22,423 What will we do different this time? 730 00:27:22,597 --> 00:27:23,946 Well, for starters, don't sing and dance. 731 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:25,469 -You look like an idiot. -Me? You're the one 732 00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:27,123 that pulled your pants and showed your ass 733 00:27:27,297 --> 00:27:29,125 -to everybody. -I'm trying to get laid, vato. 734 00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:31,911 [distant police siren] 735 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:34,522 Hi, folks, I am Peter Jay Piper, 736 00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:36,176 your Pillow King. 737 00:27:36,350 --> 00:27:37,743 Sleep is so important. 738 00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:40,006 -We spend one third... -[actor groaning] 739 00:27:40,180 --> 00:27:42,095 ...of our life sleeping, 740 00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:43,574 so having the proper... 741 00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:46,012 What kind of filth are y'all watching? 742 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:47,666 Porn. 743 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:48,884 Do you know what time it is? 744 00:27:49,058 --> 00:27:50,581 -Time to eat. [laughs] -Ha! 745 00:27:50,756 --> 00:27:52,583 It's time for Pastor Willy Dollars. 746 00:27:52,758 --> 00:27:55,282 Whoo, The Lord is my Shepherd. 747 00:27:55,456 --> 00:27:57,240 I know which channel I wanna watch. 748 00:27:57,414 --> 00:27:59,199 Ooh, Lord. 749 00:27:59,373 --> 00:28:01,505 ♪ Make your way to Jesus ♪ 750 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,160 ♪ I'll see you on the way... ♪ 751 00:28:05,118 --> 00:28:06,293 Whoo! 752 00:28:06,467 --> 00:28:08,599 ♪ You know He's here to stay ♪ 753 00:28:08,774 --> 00:28:10,906 ♪ When you give to Willy Dollars ♪ 754 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,213 ♪ You're giving to the Lord ♪ 755 00:28:13,387 --> 00:28:15,432 ♪ When you give to Willy Dollars ♪ 756 00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:17,478 ♪ You know He'll give you more... ♪ 757 00:28:17,652 --> 00:28:19,654 Ooh, that man is so fine. 758 00:28:19,828 --> 00:28:21,700 He run chills up and down my spine. 759 00:28:21,874 --> 00:28:24,093 He dressed to the nine, y'all. 760 00:28:24,267 --> 00:28:28,141 When I say he clean, he clean like a washing machine. 761 00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:30,709 Mother Love, if we gotta watch some kind of religious program, 762 00:28:30,883 --> 00:28:33,407 can we watch at least Touched By an Angel, or something like that? 763 00:28:33,581 --> 00:28:35,452 I'm watching this girl get touched by her uncle. 764 00:28:36,627 --> 00:28:38,238 Now, he is blessed. 765 00:28:38,412 --> 00:28:40,893 Whoo! Amen! 766 00:28:41,067 --> 00:28:42,242 -Amen. -[woman moaning on laptop] 767 00:28:42,416 --> 00:28:43,634 Yeah, that ain't holy water. 768 00:28:43,809 --> 00:28:45,419 I'm glad it turns you on, but-- 769 00:28:45,593 --> 00:28:46,986 Oh, there it is! 770 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,205 -Oh! -[exclaims] 771 00:28:49,379 --> 00:28:51,381 -That's gonna burn our eyes. -[singing continues] 772 00:28:51,555 --> 00:28:53,993 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 773 00:28:54,994 --> 00:28:58,258 -All right! Give me-- Knock that shit off. -[singing stops] 774 00:28:58,432 --> 00:29:00,216 Hello there, brothers and sisters. 775 00:29:00,390 --> 00:29:04,481 Now, I know y'all are here to see me, Willy Dollars. 776 00:29:04,655 --> 00:29:07,528 -[cheering on TV] -And I wanna let y'all know that God is glad to see you, 777 00:29:07,702 --> 00:29:09,530 'cause He got great things for you. 778 00:29:09,704 --> 00:29:10,792 I'm talking about great... 779 00:29:10,966 --> 00:29:12,794 -[crowd cheering] -...wonderful. 780 00:29:12,968 --> 00:29:14,274 Hey, look at that. 781 00:29:15,710 --> 00:29:18,147 You can smell the chocolate milk. [grunts] 782 00:29:18,321 --> 00:29:20,628 -[applause] -Before we begin church, 783 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:24,197 I traditionally like to pay homage to the Lord 784 00:29:24,371 --> 00:29:25,633 by singing a hymn... 785 00:29:26,590 --> 00:29:27,766 ...for Him. 786 00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:30,029 [Willy] ♪ God is good ♪ 787 00:29:30,551 --> 00:29:32,727 [all] ♪ God is good ♪ 788 00:29:32,901 --> 00:29:37,079 ♪ I say, God is good ♪ 789 00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:40,953 [all] ♪ God is good ♪ 790 00:29:41,127 --> 00:29:42,171 ♪ Mm-hm ♪ 791 00:29:42,345 --> 00:29:43,303 [all] ♪ Mm-hm ♪ 792 00:29:43,477 --> 00:29:44,521 ♪ Surely ♪ 793 00:29:44,695 --> 00:29:46,393 [all] ♪ Surely ♪ 794 00:29:46,567 --> 00:29:48,395 -♪ All the time ♪ -♪ All the time ♪ 795 00:29:48,569 --> 00:29:50,701 ♪ I say, I say, I say I say, I say, I say ♪ 796 00:29:50,876 --> 00:29:53,052 [all] ♪ I say, I say, I say I say, I say, I say ♪ 797 00:29:53,226 --> 00:29:54,967 -Whoo! -Whoo! 798 00:29:55,141 --> 00:29:56,620 -Shit! -Shit! 799 00:29:56,795 --> 00:29:57,970 -[applause] -[Willy] Right. 800 00:29:58,884 --> 00:30:00,233 Before we get down to it, 801 00:30:00,407 --> 00:30:02,148 I wanna let everybody in here know 802 00:30:02,322 --> 00:30:04,454 -that God is handing out blessings. -[congregation agrees] 803 00:30:04,628 --> 00:30:06,413 -God gives. -[woman] Mm-hm. 804 00:30:06,587 --> 00:30:09,503 -I say again, God gives. -[congregation agrees] 805 00:30:09,677 --> 00:30:11,766 The question is, do you? 806 00:30:12,636 --> 00:30:14,769 Now, you will notice a lot of my parishioners right now 807 00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:16,684 walking around with the collection plates. 808 00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:20,340 You will also notice that they have chip readers, AAA, 809 00:30:20,514 --> 00:30:22,037 credit card machines. 810 00:30:22,211 --> 00:30:24,039 That's 'cause, as of right now, 811 00:30:24,213 --> 00:30:27,651 not just God and the church, but Willy Dollars hisself, 812 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:30,829 is accepting not just cash, 813 00:30:31,003 --> 00:30:33,832 -Diner's Club, Discovery, American Express... -[whooping] 814 00:30:34,006 --> 00:30:35,703 ...Mastercard, Visa, 815 00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:38,184 Apple Pay, Cash App, Zelle, 816 00:30:38,358 --> 00:30:40,012 and sex! 817 00:30:40,186 --> 00:30:42,623 -[choir whooping] -From men and women. 818 00:30:44,668 --> 00:30:46,061 As we get ready to roll here, 819 00:30:46,235 --> 00:30:48,194 before we really get deep in this thing, 820 00:30:48,368 --> 00:30:50,631 I gotta take care of a little bit of business. 821 00:30:50,805 --> 00:30:52,198 [man] Yeah, take care of that business, man. 822 00:30:52,372 --> 00:30:53,982 Look at him. Look how fine he is. 823 00:30:54,156 --> 00:30:55,766 Ooh, Lord have mercy. 824 00:30:56,332 --> 00:30:59,553 Now, this time last year, 825 00:30:59,727 --> 00:31:02,730 y'all put Willy Dollars in a Cessna. 826 00:31:03,383 --> 00:31:04,558 Now, I thank you. 827 00:31:04,732 --> 00:31:06,865 I thank you and I thank you. 828 00:31:07,430 --> 00:31:10,042 But quite frankly, you can't have Willy Dollars 829 00:31:10,216 --> 00:31:13,262 rolling around here on propellers. 830 00:31:13,436 --> 00:31:16,787 The Lord say, "Willy, you need a little jet." 831 00:31:16,962 --> 00:31:17,876 [Willy laughs] 832 00:31:18,050 --> 00:31:21,575 I said, "Oh, Lord, as you show." 833 00:31:21,749 --> 00:31:24,665 And that's when God got a little upset with Willy Dollars. 834 00:31:24,839 --> 00:31:26,319 He said, "Nigga, 835 00:31:26,493 --> 00:31:29,931 don't you ever question God!" 836 00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:31,541 -Güero... -[Willy] Question God. 837 00:31:31,715 --> 00:31:33,413 ...does that preacher look familiar to you? 838 00:31:33,587 --> 00:31:35,067 -The Black guy? No. -[Willy] The thing here 839 00:31:35,241 --> 00:31:37,721 about this little jet, it's got to have speed. 840 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:40,986 -I'm talking about speed, speed, speed. -Holy shit. That's Smokey, man. 841 00:31:41,464 --> 00:31:42,944 'Cause I got to get to these sinners quick. 842 00:31:43,118 --> 00:31:44,903 'Cause these motherfuckers-- Can I get a amen? 843 00:31:45,077 --> 00:31:46,513 [all] Amen! 844 00:31:46,687 --> 00:31:48,863 Smokey! I did time with him in San Quentin. 845 00:31:49,037 --> 00:31:51,126 That fool owes me $300. 846 00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:53,868 I saved his ass from MS-13, was gonna kick his ass. 847 00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:55,914 [Güero] That can't be Smokey. Smokey can't even talk 848 00:31:56,088 --> 00:31:57,350 -or dress himself. -[Pablo] That's Smokey! 849 00:31:57,524 --> 00:31:59,047 I don't know who that is, 850 00:31:59,221 --> 00:32:00,527 but I'll tell you this much. 851 00:32:00,701 --> 00:32:03,704 I heard that same sermon from another dude. 852 00:32:03,878 --> 00:32:06,054 That's stealing, and that's wrong. 853 00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:08,578 ...God, what you saying, God? 854 00:32:08,752 --> 00:32:11,842 God say, "Mamase Mamasa Mamacusa." 855 00:32:12,017 --> 00:32:14,410 -[choir whooping] -Are you sure that's Smokey? 856 00:32:14,584 --> 00:32:17,239 Yeah, I'm sure. Does a pope shit in the woods? 857 00:32:17,413 --> 00:32:19,981 -Bear. You mean bear. -Pope, bear, same difference. 858 00:32:20,155 --> 00:32:21,591 We're gonna, we're gonna see him tomorrow. 859 00:32:21,765 --> 00:32:23,637 -Are you down? -Oh, yeah, I'm, I'm down. Yeah. 860 00:32:23,811 --> 00:32:25,813 Send me $10,000, 861 00:32:25,987 --> 00:32:28,337 your date of birth and your Social Security number 862 00:32:28,511 --> 00:32:29,948 or you gonna be deader than a motherfucker. 863 00:32:30,122 --> 00:32:32,037 Yeah, that's a man. 864 00:32:32,211 --> 00:32:35,649 Oh, good Lord, I done worked myself up into a frenzy. 865 00:32:36,606 --> 00:32:38,347 I feel like taking a tomato juice bath 866 00:32:38,521 --> 00:32:40,697 with two butt-naked bitches, some chitlins and some pussy. 867 00:32:40,871 --> 00:32:43,004 -[applause on TV] -Whoo! Amen! 868 00:32:43,178 --> 00:32:44,223 Amen. 869 00:32:44,397 --> 00:32:45,615 [cheers and applause] 870 00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:48,183 [organ music playing] 871 00:32:50,707 --> 00:32:52,492 -[Mama Love] Look, don't be disrespectful. -[Güero laughs] 872 00:32:52,666 --> 00:32:55,843 Do not ever disrespect Pastor Willy Dollars 873 00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:57,323 in this house right here. 874 00:32:57,497 --> 00:32:58,324 -Pasta? -You hear that? 875 00:32:58,498 --> 00:32:59,499 Pastor. 876 00:33:01,457 --> 00:33:03,459 [organ music] 877 00:33:06,897 --> 00:33:09,857 Praise God, our new father. 878 00:33:10,031 --> 00:33:11,946 [Pablo] Yes, sisters, but right now, 879 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,818 I'm looking for Father Willy Dollars. 880 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:15,950 Willy Dollars? 881 00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:18,909 He's about, uh, 5'11", 882 00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:22,087 uh, 215 pounds, dark complected. 883 00:33:22,261 --> 00:33:23,784 He's a big, fat Black guy. 884 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,787 Aren't you a little old to be an altar boy? 885 00:33:26,961 --> 00:33:29,311 Oh, uh, he's, uh, uh, mentally challenged. 886 00:33:29,485 --> 00:33:30,617 I told you so. 887 00:33:30,791 --> 00:33:32,140 Yeah, I'm, I'm retarded. 888 00:33:32,314 --> 00:33:34,621 Uh, very honest too. 889 00:33:34,795 --> 00:33:36,753 So, no Father Willy? 890 00:33:36,927 --> 00:33:39,278 No. No, we do not know where Willy is. [chuckles] 891 00:33:39,452 --> 00:33:40,931 -Thank you. Well-- -I know where he's at. 892 00:33:41,106 --> 00:33:42,498 -[Pablo] Yes? -You can find him 893 00:33:42,672 --> 00:33:44,326 on Malcolm X Boulevard 894 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:47,938 and Kill Whitey Avenue. There's a liquor store there. 895 00:33:48,113 --> 00:33:51,072 They sell Mad Dog 20/20, Old English, 896 00:33:51,246 --> 00:33:54,119 uh, The Devil's Lettuce, condoms, 897 00:33:54,293 --> 00:33:55,946 if you're into that kind of thing. 898 00:33:57,165 --> 00:33:59,472 [upbeat music] 899 00:34:06,783 --> 00:34:08,742 -♪ The soul that came... ♪ -[piano playing discordant notes] 900 00:34:08,916 --> 00:34:11,092 [indistinct chanting] 901 00:34:11,266 --> 00:34:13,051 ♪ Praise the Lord! ♪ Whoo! Shit! 902 00:34:13,225 --> 00:34:14,791 Oh, wait a minute. What the hell? 903 00:34:14,965 --> 00:34:16,619 Y'all must be the two new janitors. 904 00:34:16,793 --> 00:34:19,057 Hey, we're not janitors anymore. 905 00:34:19,231 --> 00:34:22,973 This is a private reverend-client session. 906 00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,801 Client? Who's the client here? 907 00:34:25,411 --> 00:34:26,542 Oh, baby, no, no, no. 908 00:34:26,716 --> 00:34:28,718 A bit more like a parishioner 909 00:34:28,892 --> 00:34:31,939 pre-counseling dickography. 910 00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:35,247 Hey, you didn't say anything about a gang bang. 911 00:34:35,725 --> 00:34:36,857 It gonna cost you more. 912 00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:39,033 Well, then look, do me a favor. 913 00:34:39,773 --> 00:34:43,603 Take these ten Hail Marys with you when you go to bed tonight 914 00:34:43,777 --> 00:34:44,821 and you'd be well on your way to heaven. 915 00:34:44,995 --> 00:34:46,301 Hell, I know I would. 916 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:48,086 Go on, girl. 917 00:34:51,785 --> 00:34:53,308 -She's all sweaty. -Yeah. 918 00:34:53,482 --> 00:34:54,701 She had a clit so big, I didn't know 919 00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:56,268 if I was sucking dick or eating pussy. 920 00:34:56,442 --> 00:34:57,399 [Güero] You don't like that? 921 00:34:57,965 --> 00:34:59,271 What's he talking about? 922 00:34:59,445 --> 00:35:01,621 I'm Pablo. Pablo. We were roomies, 923 00:35:01,795 --> 00:35:03,057 bunkies in cell block C. 924 00:35:03,231 --> 00:35:04,537 San Quentin, about six years ago, 925 00:35:04,711 --> 00:35:06,452 we did time together. You owe me. 926 00:35:06,626 --> 00:35:08,802 Pablo, cell block C? 927 00:35:08,976 --> 00:35:10,630 Cell block C. God damn it! 928 00:35:10,804 --> 00:35:12,501 Pedro, my man! 929 00:35:12,675 --> 00:35:16,418 No, Smokey, it's me, Pablo. Not Pedro, Pablo. 930 00:35:16,592 --> 00:35:18,464 Well, my name ain't Smokey, nigga. 931 00:35:18,638 --> 00:35:22,990 It's Reverend Willy Dollars at your service. 932 00:35:23,164 --> 00:35:24,122 How can I help you? 933 00:35:24,296 --> 00:35:25,949 I'm here to collect that debt. 934 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:28,169 The debt? Hm. 935 00:35:28,343 --> 00:35:29,953 I think I did owe you $20. 936 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:32,652 I was gonna pay you with a carton of Salem Lights. 937 00:35:32,826 --> 00:35:34,480 I forget how the money work in the prison system. 938 00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:37,047 -Uh, try $300. -$300? God damn, nigga. 939 00:35:37,222 --> 00:35:38,962 This is church. You know, money tight here. 940 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,399 We ain't got that kind of bread. 941 00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:42,618 Even though we did take up a collection 942 00:35:42,792 --> 00:35:44,403 and we're just waiting to see how them reparation checks pan out. 943 00:35:44,577 --> 00:35:46,318 -You know how it is. -Look, enough. 944 00:35:46,492 --> 00:35:48,146 We know you got the money. We seen you on TV. 945 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,974 We know this is all a scam, so pay up... [speaks in Spanish] 946 00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:53,629 Come on, I can smell $300 on you. Don't be like that. Give it up. 947 00:35:53,803 --> 00:35:56,589 First of all, tell that thick-neck white cracker 948 00:35:56,763 --> 00:35:59,461 this ain't that kind of fucking place. I ain't got that kind of money. 949 00:35:59,635 --> 00:36:01,376 What the hell are you talking about? 950 00:36:01,550 --> 00:36:03,683 First of all, ain't nothing wrong with anal sex. 951 00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:05,772 -What the fuck is he talking about? -I have no idea, but-- 952 00:36:05,946 --> 00:36:07,904 Secondly, let me tell you something. 953 00:36:08,078 --> 00:36:11,169 If Willy owe, Willy pay. Relax. 954 00:36:13,954 --> 00:36:15,129 [Willy exhales] 955 00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:18,393 Yeah, I, I ain't got none of these small bills. 956 00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:20,221 All I got is these hundreds. 957 00:36:20,743 --> 00:36:22,963 And we're also here for you to teach us how to be preachers. 958 00:36:23,137 --> 00:36:25,183 -You know, to be our teacher preacher. -What? 959 00:36:25,357 --> 00:36:26,880 Come on, you can't throw a rock in any direction 960 00:36:27,054 --> 00:36:28,447 and not hit a guy named Jesús in this town. 961 00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:30,405 This is Los Angeles. We got to get in on this. 962 00:36:30,971 --> 00:36:34,235 Is that right? Do you feel the word? Is that true? 963 00:36:34,409 --> 00:36:35,802 -Yeah. -Do you feel the call? 964 00:36:35,976 --> 00:36:37,543 -I feel it. -That's good, because I teach 965 00:36:37,717 --> 00:36:41,329 a secret seminar on weekends about the Lord. 966 00:36:41,808 --> 00:36:43,984 But in order for you to come, you got to feel the calling. 967 00:36:44,158 --> 00:36:45,594 Do you feel the calling, brother? 968 00:36:45,768 --> 00:36:47,596 -Yeah, I feel it. -Most importantly, 969 00:36:47,770 --> 00:36:50,295 does the calling feel you? 970 00:36:50,469 --> 00:36:51,861 -Oh, shit. -Hey, hey, hey! 971 00:36:52,035 --> 00:36:52,993 What the fuck? 972 00:36:53,863 --> 00:36:55,865 I usually charge $500 for that. 973 00:36:56,039 --> 00:36:57,824 I'm not too off, considering. 974 00:36:58,390 --> 00:37:01,306 -Just be here next week. -Uh, yeah. O-- okay. 975 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,222 And make sure you bring that thick-neck white nigga with you. 976 00:37:04,396 --> 00:37:05,745 Yeah, all right. All right. 977 00:37:05,919 --> 00:37:06,876 Come on. 978 00:37:07,050 --> 00:37:08,704 [whimsical music] 979 00:37:08,878 --> 00:37:10,358 I'll see y'all next week. 980 00:37:10,924 --> 00:37:12,404 -Thank you. -Huh. 981 00:37:12,926 --> 00:37:15,276 That white boy look like he got Down syndrome. 982 00:37:15,885 --> 00:37:17,496 I bet you I can fuck him out of that. 983 00:37:19,933 --> 00:37:22,022 [crickets chirping] 984 00:37:22,196 --> 00:37:24,503 Güero, listen to me. It can't be that hard. 985 00:37:25,373 --> 00:37:27,245 Smokey is a dumbass. He's making all that money. 986 00:37:27,419 --> 00:37:29,203 -We could do the same. -Yeah, but we're dumbasses. 987 00:37:29,377 --> 00:37:30,857 Yeah, but there's two of us. 988 00:37:31,031 --> 00:37:32,162 You really think it's that easy? 989 00:37:32,337 --> 00:37:33,555 Right now is the perfect time. 990 00:37:33,729 --> 00:37:35,514 -[upbeat music] -[distant gunshots] 991 00:37:37,342 --> 00:37:40,475 [Willy] Brothers and sisters, before we start today's class, 992 00:37:40,954 --> 00:37:44,697 I usually like to start out by reading a powerful excerpt 993 00:37:45,306 --> 00:37:46,786 from the good book. 994 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,483 This one here comes to you by the Corinthians, 995 00:37:48,657 --> 00:37:51,094 not to be confused with them goddamn Koreans. 996 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:56,926 This is IT Revelations 25:37. 997 00:37:57,100 --> 00:38:00,103 -[organ music] -"Bitch, get your ass in the car. 998 00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:02,976 If you don't, I'mma knock a tooth loose." 999 00:38:03,150 --> 00:38:04,325 Ike and Tina Turner. 1000 00:38:05,152 --> 00:38:06,458 [Bible thuds] 1001 00:38:06,632 --> 00:38:09,417 You know, people, when it come to the Lord, 1002 00:38:09,591 --> 00:38:11,376 I can give you the knowledge, 1003 00:38:11,550 --> 00:38:13,900 but it ain't about just the words. 1004 00:38:14,074 --> 00:38:15,858 It's about the style. 1005 00:38:16,032 --> 00:38:17,425 It ain't about how much you pray, 1006 00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:20,254 it's about how you look when you pray. 1007 00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:23,344 Now, you can't represent God looking like a piece of shit. 1008 00:38:23,518 --> 00:38:26,391 You can't represent God with a face like Biz Markie. 1009 00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:29,350 No, you got to hone that style. 1010 00:38:29,524 --> 00:38:31,700 You got to be cool. You got to have them... 1011 00:38:32,571 --> 00:38:35,182 This motherfucker looks like a cheeseburger. [chuckles] 1012 00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,489 [grunts] I like the suit though. 1013 00:38:37,663 --> 00:38:41,057 Now, the Lord is powerful. 1014 00:38:41,710 --> 00:38:43,146 I need you to say, "The Lord." 1015 00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:44,670 [all] The Lord. 1016 00:38:45,279 --> 00:38:48,108 Why is the white guy in rhythm and we got three niggas here? 1017 00:38:48,282 --> 00:38:49,675 [louder] I say, "The Lord." 1018 00:38:49,849 --> 00:38:50,806 [all] The Lord! 1019 00:38:50,980 --> 00:38:52,547 You got to put five-six-O's 1020 00:38:52,721 --> 00:38:53,722 on that motherfucker. 1021 00:38:53,896 --> 00:38:55,898 [sing-songy] The Lord. 1022 00:38:56,072 --> 00:38:58,684 [sing-songy] The Lord. 1023 00:38:58,858 --> 00:39:00,250 Again, good job, white boy. 1024 00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:02,601 Now, here's the second part, the most important part. 1025 00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:04,472 The laying of the hands. 1026 00:39:04,646 --> 00:39:06,779 You got to squeeze a motherfucker's head 1027 00:39:06,953 --> 00:39:08,171 till they see stars. 1028 00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,522 You got to squeeze a bitch's neck 1029 00:39:10,696 --> 00:39:12,393 like she owe you money. 1030 00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:13,786 I need a volunteer. 1031 00:39:17,529 --> 00:39:19,052 You, Chinaman. 1032 00:39:19,226 --> 00:39:21,446 My name is not Chinaman. 1033 00:39:21,968 --> 00:39:23,665 My name's Kevin Lopez, 1034 00:39:23,839 --> 00:39:26,320 and I'm half Japanese by my mother's side 1035 00:39:26,494 --> 00:39:28,191 and half Mexican by a friend of my father's, 1036 00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:30,455 so I really don't appreciate being called Chinaman. 1037 00:39:30,629 --> 00:39:31,978 You know what? It don't even matter. 1038 00:39:32,152 --> 00:39:33,066 Get on up here. 1039 00:39:39,594 --> 00:39:41,379 -That your lady right there? -Yeah, that's me. 1040 00:39:41,553 --> 00:39:43,293 Yeah, Christina Yamaguchi. 1041 00:39:43,468 --> 00:39:45,034 Give me some booty. 1042 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,428 [chuckles] All right, let's get back to God. 1043 00:39:47,602 --> 00:39:49,256 Do you believe in the Lord? 1044 00:39:49,865 --> 00:39:51,998 -Yeah, yeah. -Well, then let the power of the Lord 1045 00:39:52,172 --> 00:39:54,174 show you the power of God! 1046 00:39:57,264 --> 00:39:58,308 I didn't feel shit. 1047 00:39:59,005 --> 00:40:00,789 You know, sometimes you need a little assistance 1048 00:40:00,963 --> 00:40:02,225 to get his juices flowing. 1049 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,966 So, when you get the assistance 1050 00:40:04,140 --> 00:40:05,838 and you get it in the power of your hand, 1051 00:40:06,012 --> 00:40:07,709 now tell me, do you believe in God? 1052 00:40:07,883 --> 00:40:09,494 -[electricity buzzing] -[screams] 1053 00:40:10,190 --> 00:40:12,061 [buzzing continues] 1054 00:40:12,235 --> 00:40:15,238 See, all God needed was a little boost. 1055 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:18,024 Now, the police call this a taser. 1056 00:40:18,198 --> 00:40:21,984 Black folks call it a nigga tickler. All right, y'all, let's move on. 1057 00:40:22,158 --> 00:40:24,813 Um, excuse me. Reverend, what, what about Kevin? 1058 00:40:24,987 --> 00:40:27,860 -Fuck Kevin. -Uh, shouldn't we call somebody? 1059 00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,905 -911? -Bitch, are you crazy? 1060 00:40:30,079 --> 00:40:32,342 -[woman] Are you sure? -Yeah, I'm sure. You want some of this? 1061 00:40:32,517 --> 00:40:34,083 No, no. 1062 00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:35,694 [electricity buzzing] 1063 00:40:36,651 --> 00:40:39,654 It's okay. We, we came in separate cars. 1064 00:40:39,828 --> 00:40:42,396 Hey, uh, Reverend, looks like you're killing your faithful. 1065 00:40:42,570 --> 00:40:45,225 No, that's really just the Buddhists and the Muslims. 1066 00:40:45,399 --> 00:40:47,923 I mean, don't get me wrong, I ain't no anti-systematic, 1067 00:40:48,097 --> 00:40:50,752 but, you know, that ain't our demographic knowhow. 1068 00:40:51,536 --> 00:40:54,713 ♪ Well, I'm wrapped up tied up... ♪ 1069 00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:58,630 -[muted] -♪ And I don't wanna get loose Oh, yeah! ♪ 1070 00:40:58,804 --> 00:41:00,806 -Lord! -[laughing] 1071 00:41:00,980 --> 00:41:02,851 [choral music] 1072 00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:16,256 Lord has allowed me for a second chance. 1073 00:41:16,430 --> 00:41:18,476 A redemption, if you will. 1074 00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:21,740 And let's face it, that's what Christianity is all about. 1075 00:41:21,914 --> 00:41:24,046 It's about forgiveness. 1076 00:41:24,220 --> 00:41:27,049 And if the Lord can forgive me, 1077 00:41:27,223 --> 00:41:30,226 He can forgive a crackhead like you. 1078 00:41:30,836 --> 00:41:32,533 And bring it to the Lord. 1079 00:41:32,707 --> 00:41:34,013 What's it gonna take? 1080 00:41:34,187 --> 00:41:35,449 Cash. 1081 00:41:35,623 --> 00:41:37,364 Don't try to hide your money from God. 1082 00:41:37,538 --> 00:41:38,757 God knows where you keep it. 1083 00:41:38,931 --> 00:41:40,541 He knows where that sock is. 1084 00:41:40,715 --> 00:41:42,848 He knows exactly how much money you make. 1085 00:41:43,022 --> 00:41:44,937 Oh, you may hide it from the IRS, 1086 00:41:45,111 --> 00:41:47,156 but you can't hide it from the Lord. 1087 00:41:47,330 --> 00:41:49,507 He knows how much you have in your mattress. 1088 00:41:49,681 --> 00:41:51,770 He knows how much you have given to your old lady. 1089 00:41:51,944 --> 00:41:54,207 Bring that cash out. We need it now. 1090 00:41:54,729 --> 00:41:57,689 -Redemption is what Christianity's all about. -You blasphemous Lucifer! 1091 00:41:57,863 --> 00:41:58,994 Oh, my God! 1092 00:41:59,168 --> 00:42:00,909 Please call that number. Give more. 1093 00:42:01,083 --> 00:42:03,825 I want you to, I want you, this time, to really, really 1094 00:42:03,999 --> 00:42:05,958 get your hand and dig deep. 1095 00:42:06,132 --> 00:42:09,004 Go down, down, down on the ground. 1096 00:42:09,178 --> 00:42:13,618 I want you to go balls deep like you've never gone before. 1097 00:42:13,792 --> 00:42:15,707 Dig into your children's college fund. 1098 00:42:15,881 --> 00:42:17,447 I don't care. We're gonna need it. 1099 00:42:17,622 --> 00:42:19,145 -Credit? Visa? -[phones ringing] 1100 00:42:19,319 --> 00:42:20,102 -Preacher Pablo Ministries. -[indistinct chatter] 1101 00:42:20,276 --> 00:42:21,669 Thank you, friends. 1102 00:42:22,191 --> 00:42:24,585 I hear the phones are ringing, 1103 00:42:24,759 --> 00:42:27,283 -and they're ringing off the hook. -[phone ringing] 1104 00:42:27,457 --> 00:42:29,721 -Thank you. -Hello. Preacher Pablo Ministries. 1105 00:42:29,895 --> 00:42:32,027 God damn it, David. Give up already! Ugh! 1106 00:42:32,201 --> 00:42:34,552 -It was my ex. -Ugh, he's so annoying. 1107 00:42:34,726 --> 00:42:37,076 You call whatever your needs may be. 1108 00:42:37,250 --> 00:42:40,688 Preacher Pablo is here for you. Not for me. It's for you. 1109 00:42:40,862 --> 00:42:42,690 Not for me. It's for you. 1110 00:42:43,299 --> 00:42:44,431 Hasta la vista. 1111 00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,173 Go with God. And remember, 1112 00:42:47,347 --> 00:42:50,176 we take all major credit cards except Discovery. 1113 00:42:50,350 --> 00:42:51,438 We've had problems. 1114 00:42:51,612 --> 00:42:53,788 [cheerful theme music] 1115 00:42:53,962 --> 00:42:56,617 -[heavenly music] -[Pablo] I am your servant. 1116 00:42:56,791 --> 00:42:58,401 Let's get our money together 1117 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:01,970 and let's make a path, a yellow brick path 1118 00:43:02,144 --> 00:43:04,494 -to the righteousness of the Lord. -[cell phone ringing] 1119 00:43:04,669 --> 00:43:07,672 -This is Preacher Pablo signing off with a... -[chuckles] 1120 00:43:07,846 --> 00:43:09,325 [Pablo speaking in Spanish] 1121 00:43:09,499 --> 00:43:11,589 -Did you see that? -[preaching continues] 1122 00:43:11,763 --> 00:43:13,155 Amazing, isn't it? 1123 00:43:13,329 --> 00:43:15,636 Of course you're my new money cow. 1124 00:43:17,638 --> 00:43:18,857 [laughs] Yes. 1125 00:43:19,031 --> 00:43:20,075 [door opens] 1126 00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:22,687 I'll call you later. 1127 00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:28,606 -We have to talk. -What do you want? 1128 00:43:29,084 --> 00:43:30,695 Did you see the show yesterday? 1129 00:43:30,869 --> 00:43:32,479 Are you kidding me? Of course I did. 1130 00:43:33,001 --> 00:43:34,394 That guy is a hit. 1131 00:43:34,568 --> 00:43:35,743 What about us? 1132 00:43:35,917 --> 00:43:37,223 What about you? 1133 00:43:37,397 --> 00:43:39,573 Well, they are the sons of the devil. 1134 00:43:39,747 --> 00:43:41,140 No, they're not. It's just that 1135 00:43:41,314 --> 00:43:42,881 you are the smaller show now, and that's it. 1136 00:43:43,055 --> 00:43:45,623 What? We've been spreading the word of the Lord 1137 00:43:45,797 --> 00:43:48,626 and maintaining our ratings for ten straight years. 1138 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,454 You have grossed around $5K per show for a few years, 1139 00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:54,719 and that's decent. 1140 00:43:55,241 --> 00:43:58,113 But Father Perez was hitting the 20,000s. 1141 00:43:58,287 --> 00:44:00,376 That's why every time he was think of quitting, 1142 00:44:00,550 --> 00:44:01,639 I would flash him my tits. 1143 00:44:01,813 --> 00:44:03,728 -[both gasp] -But those guys, 1144 00:44:03,902 --> 00:44:05,686 those guys are killing it. 1145 00:44:06,252 --> 00:44:09,081 You can't put a price on the message of God. 1146 00:44:09,255 --> 00:44:11,170 And we were here first. 1147 00:44:11,736 --> 00:44:14,303 Take it like a man, and get out of my office. 1148 00:44:14,477 --> 00:44:17,742 Arthur, let's go take it like a man. 1149 00:44:17,916 --> 00:44:20,527 [tense music] 1150 00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,619 [sighs] Lutherans. 1151 00:44:27,577 --> 00:44:28,840 [sighs] 1152 00:44:32,191 --> 00:44:33,192 [Pablo] What's it gonna take? 1153 00:44:33,366 --> 00:44:34,584 Cash. 1154 00:44:34,759 --> 00:44:36,761 -[woman laughing] -[Pablo grunting] 1155 00:44:38,023 --> 00:44:38,980 [woman] Daddy! 1156 00:44:39,154 --> 00:44:40,460 [Pablo chuckling] 1157 00:44:40,634 --> 00:44:41,896 Hey, Güero, how much did we make? 1158 00:44:42,070 --> 00:44:46,031 $34,700.95! 1159 00:44:46,205 --> 00:44:47,728 [all cheering] 1160 00:44:47,902 --> 00:44:49,469 You know, this is easy. We should have got into 1161 00:44:49,643 --> 00:44:52,211 the saving souls business a long time ago. 1162 00:44:52,385 --> 00:44:54,822 -Oh, baby, you know, you are very sexy... -Uh-huh. 1163 00:44:54,996 --> 00:44:56,868 ...so I need to buy more sexy clothes. 1164 00:44:57,042 --> 00:44:58,478 But I need some money. 1165 00:44:58,652 --> 00:45:00,175 I'll tell you something. You, the less you wear, 1166 00:45:00,349 --> 00:45:02,308 the sexier you are, but here's $200. 1167 00:45:02,482 --> 00:45:04,484 Run out to Goodwill and get yourself some lingerie. 1168 00:45:04,658 --> 00:45:06,355 You know, they only use it once or twice. 1169 00:45:06,529 --> 00:45:08,314 That's it? I need more than that. 1170 00:45:08,488 --> 00:45:09,489 All right, one more, and that's it. 1171 00:45:09,663 --> 00:45:11,273 Güero, this one is the best. 1172 00:45:11,447 --> 00:45:13,885 You are so handsome and cute, 1173 00:45:14,059 --> 00:45:16,975 but I want more because I see more money 1174 00:45:17,149 --> 00:45:18,803 -here, baby. -[Pablo] Hey, Güero, 1175 00:45:18,977 --> 00:45:21,109 -keep an eye on your old lady. -Yeah. 1176 00:45:21,283 --> 00:45:22,720 -[door bangs open] -Hey! 1177 00:45:22,894 --> 00:45:24,330 [Pablo] Hey, what the fuck? 1178 00:45:24,504 --> 00:45:26,245 We're in the middle of saving some souls here. 1179 00:45:26,419 --> 00:45:29,291 You just can't barge in here like you have an appointment. 1180 00:45:29,465 --> 00:45:32,207 -[grunts] -[groans] 1181 00:45:32,381 --> 00:45:34,993 [grunts] Fuck! Watch your bonehead. 1182 00:45:35,515 --> 00:45:37,647 -Let me explain this to you. -[groaning] 1183 00:45:37,822 --> 00:45:39,867 I'm the boss of all the TV preachers 1184 00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:41,129 that you see out there. 1185 00:45:41,695 --> 00:45:43,044 I'm the one keeping out 1186 00:45:43,218 --> 00:45:46,134 all the new preachers from going on air. 1187 00:45:46,308 --> 00:45:48,746 -[groans] -'Cause no one goes on TV and collects money 1188 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,225 without giving me a cut. 1189 00:45:50,399 --> 00:45:52,358 -[Pablo] Yeah. Yeah. -Is that clear? 1190 00:45:52,532 --> 00:45:54,664 What the fuck are you talking about? It's public access TV-- 1191 00:45:54,839 --> 00:45:57,798 Oh, God! You hit like a man! 1192 00:45:57,972 --> 00:45:59,060 [Angeles] I'm not asking. 1193 00:46:00,105 --> 00:46:02,455 And if you want to keep part of the money, 1194 00:46:02,629 --> 00:46:04,152 you're going to do as I say. 1195 00:46:04,326 --> 00:46:05,632 You, you mean you want your cut? 1196 00:46:05,806 --> 00:46:06,894 -Of course. -[Güero] How, how much 1197 00:46:07,068 --> 00:46:08,461 could your cut be? How much? 1198 00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:13,074 -You tell me. -Me? Uh, well... 1199 00:46:13,248 --> 00:46:14,510 -[mouthing] -And don't dare to lie. 1200 00:46:14,684 --> 00:46:17,775 All we made was, was, $4-- $4000... 1201 00:46:17,949 --> 00:46:22,475 [groans] $34,700 and 95 fucking cents. 1202 00:46:23,041 --> 00:46:24,129 Good. 1203 00:46:25,434 --> 00:46:26,653 [Angeles] Thirty-four... 1204 00:46:27,262 --> 00:46:28,437 We need to pay her. 1205 00:46:28,611 --> 00:46:29,656 Okay. 1206 00:46:29,830 --> 00:46:32,311 Here, you can keep 5000. 1207 00:46:32,485 --> 00:46:34,443 -5000? -What? 1208 00:46:34,617 --> 00:46:36,010 -No, no, no. -Relax. Okay. 1209 00:46:36,184 --> 00:46:38,099 Okay. Okay, I'll be nice. 1210 00:46:38,273 --> 00:46:40,362 I'm gonna pay for the room and the ladies. 1211 00:46:40,536 --> 00:46:41,973 [Pablo] Yeah? I thought they were, 1212 00:46:42,147 --> 00:46:44,279 they were just here for us, for free. Yeah? 1213 00:46:44,453 --> 00:46:46,978 I'm gonna call you tomorrow 'cause we got to work on next week's show. 1214 00:46:47,761 --> 00:46:50,764 Yeah, yeah. I don't think I'll be able to walk till next week. 1215 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:53,288 Put some ice. 1216 00:46:53,462 --> 00:46:55,421 [dramatic music] 1217 00:46:56,378 --> 00:46:58,554 -[door closes] -I think I'm missing a testicle. 1218 00:46:58,728 --> 00:46:59,817 Have you seen it around here? 1219 00:46:59,991 --> 00:47:01,470 [groaning] 1220 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,299 [tranquil music] 1221 00:47:10,349 --> 00:47:12,307 [hip-hop beats] 1222 00:47:16,921 --> 00:47:18,357 Sorry for the beating. 1223 00:47:18,531 --> 00:47:20,228 [chuckles] You need to understand 1224 00:47:20,402 --> 00:47:21,926 that it's really difficult to be a woman, 1225 00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:25,451 especially a Latina woman in a man's world. 1226 00:47:25,625 --> 00:47:29,498 Nothing personal, guys, but I had to assert myself. 1227 00:47:29,672 --> 00:47:31,587 -Assert yourself? -What are you talking about? 1228 00:47:31,761 --> 00:47:33,241 You beat him like he's Rodney King. 1229 00:47:33,415 --> 00:47:35,243 Yeah, I feel like a piñata. 1230 00:47:35,417 --> 00:47:37,550 Do you think I enjoy beating you up? 1231 00:47:37,724 --> 00:47:38,507 Yeah. 1232 00:47:38,681 --> 00:47:39,682 No! 1233 00:47:40,161 --> 00:47:41,554 I broke my nail. 1234 00:47:44,818 --> 00:47:46,254 Easy, guys. 1235 00:47:47,038 --> 00:47:49,954 Listen, I was only trying to make a point. 1236 00:47:51,303 --> 00:47:53,479 This is the way of the underworld, 1237 00:47:53,653 --> 00:47:55,220 and it is straightforward. 1238 00:47:55,394 --> 00:47:58,527 You make a good show, you collect a lot of money, 1239 00:47:59,137 --> 00:48:01,574 and I get my piece of the pie. 1240 00:48:01,748 --> 00:48:04,229 A piece of the pie? You, you took the whole pie. 1241 00:48:04,403 --> 00:48:06,709 Well, next time, I will take half. 1242 00:48:07,232 --> 00:48:08,755 But it is not all for me. 1243 00:48:08,929 --> 00:48:11,453 I need to kick back all the way to the Vatican. 1244 00:48:11,627 --> 00:48:13,238 Seems like a lot. 1245 00:48:13,716 --> 00:48:16,371 -What did you say? -Peop-- of peopl-- a lot of people in here. 1246 00:48:16,937 --> 00:48:21,115 And let me tell you something. You haven't seen nothing yet. 1247 00:48:21,289 --> 00:48:24,249 We're gonna make this show bigger than Oprah. 1248 00:48:24,727 --> 00:48:27,905 -You know Oprah? -[laughing] Are you kidding? 1249 00:48:28,601 --> 00:48:30,255 [Angeles laughs] 1250 00:48:30,429 --> 00:48:31,909 I still remember the first time 1251 00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:34,172 that I brought her to the network. 1252 00:48:34,346 --> 00:48:37,915 They said America's not ready for an overweight Black woman. 1253 00:48:38,089 --> 00:48:40,787 And let me tell you, she wasn't easy to find. 1254 00:48:40,961 --> 00:48:44,051 -You couldn't find an overweight Black woman? -No. 1255 00:48:44,225 --> 00:48:47,794 -Have you been to the post office? -Who's Oprah? 1256 00:48:48,316 --> 00:48:52,581 Uh, you wouldn't know. Uh, her show runs the same time as Paw Patrol. 1257 00:48:53,191 --> 00:48:56,281 Guys, focus. 1258 00:48:56,455 --> 00:48:58,196 We need miracles. 1259 00:48:58,370 --> 00:48:59,632 Miracles? What are you talking about? 1260 00:48:59,806 --> 00:49:01,025 -We're a couple of frauds. -Yeah. 1261 00:49:01,199 --> 00:49:02,635 I'm well aware of that. 1262 00:49:02,809 --> 00:49:05,290 But we get some people to act, and that's it. 1263 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,076 Uh, miracles, come on, that's old. Everybody does that. 1264 00:49:09,250 --> 00:49:11,035 Yeah, everybody, but the two of you. 1265 00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:13,037 And we need it, 'cause it works. 1266 00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:15,213 Do you have a better idea? 1267 00:49:15,387 --> 00:49:16,866 [Güero] All right, listen, guys. 1268 00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:18,781 Give me some time. I'll think of something. 1269 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:21,132 -[dramatic music] -[announcer] The Preacher Pablo Show 1270 00:49:21,306 --> 00:49:24,613 is brought to you by Imperio Real Tequila. 1271 00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,403 -[rock music] -♪ So, are you ready for the big time? ♪ 1272 00:49:33,100 --> 00:49:35,711 ♪ Ready for the spotlight... ♪ 1273 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,628 Blasphemous Lucifer! 1274 00:49:39,802 --> 00:49:42,805 ♪ Just who you are ♪ 1275 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:44,111 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 1276 00:49:46,461 --> 00:49:48,855 [tense music] 1277 00:49:49,029 --> 00:49:52,511 [Chato's wife] So, now you've become too much faithful, right? 1278 00:49:53,686 --> 00:49:55,166 I wanna hear the word of the Lord. 1279 00:49:55,340 --> 00:49:56,689 [Chato's wife] Oh, really? 1280 00:49:56,863 --> 00:49:58,996 It's not 'cause you want to watch the girls? 1281 00:49:59,170 --> 00:50:01,911 No. What would they wanna see in me? 1282 00:50:02,086 --> 00:50:03,000 [chuckles] 1283 00:50:03,174 --> 00:50:04,523 You're finer than all the women. 1284 00:50:04,697 --> 00:50:06,220 I know that. 1285 00:50:06,873 --> 00:50:10,703 But I'm telling you, be careful. 1286 00:50:11,443 --> 00:50:12,922 I'm watching you. 1287 00:50:13,097 --> 00:50:14,402 Don't worry. 1288 00:50:14,576 --> 00:50:16,926 Me? [chuckles] I don't worry. 1289 00:50:17,101 --> 00:50:19,103 You, on the other hand... 1290 00:50:19,755 --> 00:50:21,235 [thunderclap] 1291 00:50:23,803 --> 00:50:28,155 Friends, sinners, across the Southland, 1292 00:50:28,329 --> 00:50:30,853 welcome to the Hour of Power. 1293 00:50:31,028 --> 00:50:34,553 I am the Lord's servant, Preacher Pablo. 1294 00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,338 The 1800 number that you see on your screen 1295 00:50:37,512 --> 00:50:41,255 is for you to open up your hearts and your checkbooks 1296 00:50:41,429 --> 00:50:44,128 and to give generously to this ministry, 1297 00:50:44,302 --> 00:50:47,740 because this Walter Mercado outfit is not cheap. 1298 00:50:47,914 --> 00:50:50,351 The Lord needs money for His work 1299 00:50:50,525 --> 00:50:53,137 to clean the sins of the Southland. 1300 00:50:53,311 --> 00:50:57,576 I have a special message to the Sanchez family out there. 1301 00:50:57,750 --> 00:51:01,232 -You know who you are. [preaching continues] -He's talking about us. 1302 00:51:01,406 --> 00:51:03,625 [speaks in Spanish] 1303 00:51:03,799 --> 00:51:06,280 [speaks in Spanish] 1304 00:51:06,454 --> 00:51:08,717 Sí.He's talking about us. 1305 00:51:08,891 --> 00:51:12,199 Yes, I'm talking about you, [echoes] you, you... 1306 00:51:12,373 --> 00:51:13,809 -[thunderclap] -...Sanchez family. 1307 00:51:13,983 --> 00:51:18,031 A terrible pox will fall upon your house. 1308 00:51:18,205 --> 00:51:22,949 Ooh, something horrible is gonna happen to your familia. 1309 00:51:23,123 --> 00:51:24,907 [speaks in Spanish] 1310 00:51:25,082 --> 00:51:27,127 -What? -[preaching continues] 1311 00:51:27,301 --> 00:51:29,303 No, he's not talking about you, darling. 1312 00:51:29,477 --> 00:51:31,044 Send him some money now. 1313 00:51:31,218 --> 00:51:32,480 [speaks in Spanish] 1314 00:51:32,654 --> 00:51:34,787 -I said now. -Okay, okay, okay. 1315 00:51:34,961 --> 00:51:37,311 -[overlapping conversations] -[phones ringing] 1316 00:51:39,574 --> 00:51:41,663 It's a very special evening. 1317 00:51:42,142 --> 00:51:45,406 An evening of power and miracles. 1318 00:51:45,580 --> 00:51:48,017 The Lord is gonna move through me. 1319 00:51:48,192 --> 00:51:49,671 It's not Preacher Pablo doing it. 1320 00:51:49,845 --> 00:51:51,543 Let me make that perfectly clear. 1321 00:51:51,717 --> 00:51:55,808 It is the Lord moving through me right up this hand 1322 00:51:55,982 --> 00:51:57,766 that things are gonna change. 1323 00:51:57,940 --> 00:52:01,988 I have four lost, filthy souls behind me. 1324 00:52:02,162 --> 00:52:06,035 Now, I want you at home to pray along with me. 1325 00:52:06,210 --> 00:52:09,517 Say "Preacher Pablo, Lord, use Preacher Pablo 1326 00:52:09,691 --> 00:52:12,172 to help these lost souls." 1327 00:52:12,346 --> 00:52:13,739 Let me make one thing clear. 1328 00:52:13,913 --> 00:52:15,871 I've never met these gentlemen. 1329 00:52:16,045 --> 00:52:17,395 Let me ask them. 1330 00:52:18,657 --> 00:52:22,661 -Gentlemen, have you ever seen me before? -[quietly] No. 1331 00:52:23,227 --> 00:52:24,793 Who said that? 1332 00:52:24,967 --> 00:52:26,491 [Pablo] Uh, he's blind. 1333 00:52:26,665 --> 00:52:28,884 All right, let's start off with you, my brother. 1334 00:52:29,058 --> 00:52:30,669 Uh, I sense a sense of need. 1335 00:52:30,843 --> 00:52:34,020 Uh-oh. Oh, I sense you're from Compton, California. 1336 00:52:34,194 --> 00:52:36,109 Oh, yeah, city of Compton. 1337 00:52:36,283 --> 00:52:37,806 And you are looking for what, what? 1338 00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:40,592 -A white woman, am I right? -Uh, may-- maybe two. 1339 00:52:40,766 --> 00:52:42,550 Two? Don't get greedy. One of them will have to be fat. 1340 00:52:42,724 --> 00:52:45,553 Lord, grant him a white woman. 1341 00:52:45,727 --> 00:52:47,816 -Yes. [speaks in tongues] -["Hallelujah" by Handel's Messiah playing] 1342 00:52:47,990 --> 00:52:51,298 Uh, he says, uh, "Take yourself to Santa Clarita. 1343 00:52:51,472 --> 00:52:52,821 There's plenty there by Magic Mountain." 1344 00:52:52,995 --> 00:52:53,909 Get going now. 1345 00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:55,911 All right. Uh, you, uh, 1346 00:52:56,085 --> 00:52:58,566 you, what is your problem, son? 1347 00:52:58,740 --> 00:53:01,482 Ever since I was little, everybody made fun of me 1348 00:53:01,656 --> 00:53:03,745 because they thought I was the Keebler Elf. 1349 00:53:03,919 --> 00:53:05,573 [Pablo] Well, stop making cookies, damn it! 1350 00:53:05,747 --> 00:53:07,140 I also see some crutches here. 1351 00:53:07,314 --> 00:53:09,229 Could, could you probably-- walking. 1352 00:53:09,403 --> 00:53:11,318 -Is there ever a problem walking? -[mumbles] 1353 00:53:11,492 --> 00:53:13,407 -Do you believe you can walk? -[man] I believe.[whimpers] 1354 00:53:13,581 --> 00:53:15,235 -Do you really believe? -I believe, 1355 00:53:15,409 --> 00:53:16,367 -brother! -Stand up, then, brother. 1356 00:53:16,541 --> 00:53:17,672 -[whimpers] -Rise. 1357 00:53:17,846 --> 00:53:19,631 I said, rise. 1358 00:53:19,805 --> 00:53:20,719 -Yeah. -["Hallelujah" by Handel's Messiah playing] 1359 00:53:20,893 --> 00:53:22,155 Put them crutches to the side. 1360 00:53:22,329 --> 00:53:23,461 To the side. 1361 00:53:23,635 --> 00:53:25,550 -Oh, to the side. -[laughing] 1362 00:53:25,724 --> 00:53:28,030 -Yeah! Yes, you've seen it. -[mumbling] 1363 00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:29,075 You've seen it right here. 1364 00:53:29,249 --> 00:53:30,381 All right. 1365 00:53:31,251 --> 00:53:33,558 This is making miracles. This could be you. 1366 00:53:33,732 --> 00:53:35,560 Oh, what do we have here? What do we have here? 1367 00:53:35,734 --> 00:53:36,865 ♪ I just called ♪ 1368 00:53:37,039 --> 00:53:38,215 I'm blind. 1369 00:53:38,389 --> 00:53:39,607 -Blind, huh? -I can't see. 1370 00:53:39,781 --> 00:53:41,870 -Who said that? -Uh, I'm here. 1371 00:53:42,044 --> 00:53:44,133 It's bro-- Preacher Pablo. How many fingers am I holding? 1372 00:53:44,308 --> 00:53:45,613 I don't know. I'm blind. 1373 00:53:45,787 --> 00:53:47,485 Where are your fingers? What are fingers? 1374 00:53:47,659 --> 00:53:48,790 I got ten, like everybody else. 1375 00:53:48,964 --> 00:53:50,357 -Crazy. -[Güero laughing] 1376 00:53:50,531 --> 00:53:51,837 All right. Do you believe you could be healed? 1377 00:53:52,011 --> 00:53:53,969 ♪ I believe I could be healed ♪ 1378 00:53:54,143 --> 00:53:56,842 [Pablo] Lord, could you help this white man 1379 00:53:57,016 --> 00:53:59,236 who does bad Al Pacino impressions? 1380 00:53:59,410 --> 00:54:01,238 Could you help him see, Lord? 1381 00:54:01,412 --> 00:54:04,241 What? Uh-uh. He said maybe. He said maybe. 1382 00:54:04,415 --> 00:54:05,677 But let, let's just see if I could ask-- 1383 00:54:05,851 --> 00:54:07,679 Lord, please. Please help this man. 1384 00:54:07,853 --> 00:54:09,855 Help this man see! 1385 00:54:10,029 --> 00:54:12,553 -["Hallelujah" by Handel's Messiah playing] -Oh, my gosh! I can see! 1386 00:54:12,727 --> 00:54:14,294 -Ah. -I can see. 1387 00:54:14,468 --> 00:54:16,165 Hey! 1388 00:54:16,340 --> 00:54:18,646 -All right. -[Güero] I'm gonna go look at stuff. 1389 00:54:18,820 --> 00:54:22,041 [Pablo] All right. These miracles happening here, this could be you. 1390 00:54:22,215 --> 00:54:25,436 -Mommy, he can cure me. -This time, I want you to go a little deeper 1391 00:54:25,610 --> 00:54:29,048 -than before. I want you to get your right hand... -Yes, sweetie. I think he can. 1392 00:54:29,222 --> 00:54:30,397 ...put it in your pocket... 1393 00:54:30,571 --> 00:54:32,007 Have you heard of him? 1394 00:54:32,181 --> 00:54:34,575 -[preaching continues] -Yes, baby, I have. 1395 00:54:35,968 --> 00:54:40,277 -Do you believe it? -...bring 'em up to the sunshine of the lights... 1396 00:54:41,016 --> 00:54:43,932 -I do. -...to the number that you see on the screen. 1397 00:54:44,106 --> 00:54:46,021 All right, Cochise, what's your problem? 1398 00:54:46,195 --> 00:54:48,415 Uh, I'm Native American. 1399 00:54:48,589 --> 00:54:51,418 -Huh? -Many moons ago, 1400 00:54:51,592 --> 00:54:53,290 -the white man-- -Yo, yo, yo, yo. Hold on. 1401 00:54:53,464 --> 00:54:56,031 Are you gonna ask me to get all the land back to you? 1402 00:54:56,684 --> 00:54:59,600 I can't do that. Wait a minute. You look familiar. I've seen you on the nickel. 1403 00:54:59,774 --> 00:55:01,689 Look here, you got casinos. Ain't that enough? 1404 00:55:01,863 --> 00:55:03,169 Give me another problem that the Lord 1405 00:55:03,343 --> 00:55:04,779 might be able to help you right now with. 1406 00:55:04,953 --> 00:55:06,520 My wife left me. 1407 00:55:07,042 --> 00:55:08,435 I said, what's the problem? 1408 00:55:08,609 --> 00:55:09,741 Boom, you've already been blessed. 1409 00:55:09,915 --> 00:55:12,221 -She's gone. -I'm healed! I'm healed! 1410 00:55:12,396 --> 00:55:14,049 -Yeah. -["Hallelujah" by Handel's Messiah playing] 1411 00:55:14,223 --> 00:55:16,008 Daddy, he can cure me. 1412 00:55:16,182 --> 00:55:18,489 No, you see, you don't need him, mija. 1413 00:55:18,663 --> 00:55:19,838 Yes, he can. 1414 00:55:20,012 --> 00:55:21,361 The Lord is making miracles, 1415 00:55:21,535 --> 00:55:22,884 as you can see right here. 1416 00:55:23,058 --> 00:55:25,583 -He can and he will. -This could be you. 1417 00:55:25,757 --> 00:55:29,108 The Lord wants you to know that there are miracles being done daily. 1418 00:55:29,282 --> 00:55:31,719 When you're shopping, remember 1419 00:55:32,198 --> 00:55:33,939 that the Lord has placed 1420 00:55:34,113 --> 00:55:36,811 a picture of himself on specially marked boxes 1421 00:55:36,985 --> 00:55:39,423 of All-Bran cereal. 1422 00:55:39,597 --> 00:55:42,426 Those sons of Satan are at it again. 1423 00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,993 Really? You're selling product placement? I mean... 1424 00:55:45,167 --> 00:55:47,126 -Hurry, let's go. -What? 1425 00:55:47,300 --> 00:55:49,824 ["Hallelujah" by Handel's Messiah continues playing] 1426 00:55:49,998 --> 00:55:51,652 I said, let's go. Hurry. 1427 00:55:54,612 --> 00:55:56,527 [music swells] 1428 00:55:58,398 --> 00:55:59,878 It's mine! No! 1429 00:56:00,052 --> 00:56:01,314 [grunting] 1430 00:56:02,968 --> 00:56:04,186 Ow! Ah! 1431 00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:06,188 [news jingle music] 1432 00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,016 [dramatic music] 1433 00:56:08,190 --> 00:56:10,976 There is a new preacher in town. 1434 00:56:11,150 --> 00:56:12,543 His name is Pablo. 1435 00:56:12,717 --> 00:56:13,935 In just a few weeks, 1436 00:56:14,109 --> 00:56:16,111 he has become the hope of the faithful 1437 00:56:16,285 --> 00:56:19,288 who tuned in every week to hear the word of Jesus 1438 00:56:19,463 --> 00:56:21,160 through his show on TV. 1439 00:56:22,117 --> 00:56:24,468 But is he the real thing 1440 00:56:24,642 --> 00:56:27,340 or just another false prophet? 1441 00:56:27,514 --> 00:56:29,516 [upbeat music] 1442 00:56:34,826 --> 00:56:35,696 [coughs] 1443 00:56:36,436 --> 00:56:37,611 [knocking on door] 1444 00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:40,832 [coughing] 1445 00:56:52,670 --> 00:56:54,715 Oh... [clears throat] hello. 1446 00:56:54,889 --> 00:56:56,021 Are you the preacher? 1447 00:56:57,152 --> 00:56:59,981 Uh, yeah, I'm the preacher. 1448 00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:02,462 It smells like weed. 1449 00:57:02,636 --> 00:57:04,029 Yeah, there was a... [coughs] 1450 00:57:04,203 --> 00:57:06,727 circumcision here earlier today. 1451 00:57:06,901 --> 00:57:08,425 It was, it was a mess. 1452 00:57:08,599 --> 00:57:09,991 Oh, come on in, child. 1453 00:57:10,165 --> 00:57:12,429 You beautiful lamb of God. 1454 00:57:12,603 --> 00:57:14,474 -[door closes] -Mm-mm-mm. 1455 00:57:14,648 --> 00:57:17,956 So, what can I do for you? 1456 00:57:18,522 --> 00:57:21,133 Well, someone told me that you heal people. 1457 00:57:21,307 --> 00:57:23,483 You bet your ass I heal people. 1458 00:57:23,657 --> 00:57:26,965 Well, I'm so ashamed to say... 1459 00:57:27,139 --> 00:57:29,794 Hey, nothing shameful in the eyes of God. 1460 00:57:30,403 --> 00:57:33,145 Well, I'm a sinner. 1461 00:57:33,319 --> 00:57:34,276 -Ooh, go on. -Big time. 1462 00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:35,495 Mm-hm. 1463 00:57:37,018 --> 00:57:40,108 Anyway, I, I just haven't been on my best behavior lately. 1464 00:57:40,282 --> 00:57:43,503 You should tell me all about your bad behavior like a, like a confession. 1465 00:57:43,982 --> 00:57:45,853 -Well... -Slowly. 1466 00:57:46,637 --> 00:57:49,857 Okay. I mean, well, I sleep around a lot. 1467 00:57:50,031 --> 00:57:51,468 I mean, a lot. 1468 00:57:51,642 --> 00:57:53,992 So, I fear that 1469 00:57:54,166 --> 00:57:56,342 God is going to strike me with some disease. 1470 00:57:56,516 --> 00:57:58,475 Mm. Yeah, well, He has. 1471 00:57:58,649 --> 00:58:01,390 -Big boob disease. -What? 1472 00:58:01,565 --> 00:58:03,175 -That's not the scientific... -What do you mean? 1473 00:58:03,349 --> 00:58:04,655 ...term. I mean your boobs. 1474 00:58:04,829 --> 00:58:06,918 I've always been quite busty. 1475 00:58:07,092 --> 00:58:09,311 I bet. Yeah, but I can tell, as a man of the cloth, 1476 00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:11,183 that they're bustier than normal. 1477 00:58:11,357 --> 00:58:13,707 -They're filled with evil and venom. -Uh... 1478 00:58:14,534 --> 00:58:16,667 [hesitates] Are you sure? 1479 00:58:16,841 --> 00:58:18,320 Yeah, this is Satan at work. 1480 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:20,061 I've never been more sure of anything in my life. 1481 00:58:20,235 --> 00:58:21,410 We're going to have to take off your top 1482 00:58:21,585 --> 00:58:22,368 so I can suck out the venom and evil 1483 00:58:22,542 --> 00:58:23,630 through your nipple. 1484 00:58:24,326 --> 00:58:26,807 -Okay. -There you go. 1485 00:58:27,808 --> 00:58:32,465 You know, [sighs] there is a very strong smell of weed in here. 1486 00:58:32,639 --> 00:58:34,989 Well, there's a real strong smell of a whore in here too. 1487 00:58:35,163 --> 00:58:36,338 You don't hear me complaining. 1488 00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:37,688 Excuse me? 1489 00:58:37,862 --> 00:58:39,167 What? What'd I say? What? 1490 00:58:39,341 --> 00:58:40,908 No, I mean, Mary Magdalene 1491 00:58:41,082 --> 00:58:42,736 was a whore, you know, 1492 00:58:42,910 --> 00:58:46,871 and now she's a saint, and she always had her top off. 1493 00:58:47,045 --> 00:58:49,438 Actually, you know what? You should get completely naked. 1494 00:58:49,613 --> 00:58:50,962 You know what? Take off all your clothes. 1495 00:58:51,136 --> 00:58:52,659 -What? Why? -Take off all your clothes, 1496 00:58:52,833 --> 00:58:54,618 'cause that way we can make sure 1497 00:58:54,792 --> 00:58:56,663 it didn't spread to any other part of your body. [chuckles] 1498 00:58:56,837 --> 00:58:58,578 But you said it was just my breasts. 1499 00:58:58,752 --> 00:59:00,624 Yeah, but what if it spread down to, 1500 00:59:00,798 --> 00:59:02,277 you know, the chalice? 1501 00:59:04,062 --> 00:59:06,107 Well, okay. 1502 00:59:06,281 --> 00:59:09,502 Yeah! Oh, my God! 1503 00:59:12,157 --> 00:59:13,506 What are you doing? 1504 00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,856 I am dancing. It's part of the ritual. 1505 00:59:16,857 --> 00:59:18,598 Hey, be careful. 1506 00:59:18,772 --> 00:59:20,208 There's me under that hair. 1507 00:59:22,036 --> 00:59:24,038 -You like those shoes, huh? -Oh, yeah, I do. 1508 00:59:24,212 --> 00:59:25,474 [chuckles] 1509 00:59:25,649 --> 00:59:26,998 I can get you his glove if you want. 1510 00:59:27,172 --> 00:59:28,347 You're kidding. They belong to, uh-- 1511 00:59:28,521 --> 00:59:29,566 Whoo-hoo! 1512 00:59:29,740 --> 00:59:31,306 [laughs] Wow. 1513 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:32,917 [Angeles] We're going national soon. 1514 00:59:33,091 --> 00:59:34,701 -[Pablo] Really? -[Angeles] No, this is peanuts. 1515 00:59:34,875 --> 00:59:37,095 -We can be cashing in millions. -[Pablo] Tell me more. 1516 00:59:37,269 --> 00:59:39,837 -[Angeles] Okay, first, what we need to do is just-- -Preacher Pablo. 1517 00:59:40,011 --> 00:59:42,404 -Huh? Look, look, the service doesn't-- -I need to talk to you. 1518 00:59:42,579 --> 00:59:43,754 Look, I don't know how you got in here, 1519 00:59:43,928 --> 00:59:45,146 but you're not supposed to be here. 1520 00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:46,539 The service doesn't begin for an hour. 1521 00:59:46,713 --> 00:59:48,019 Could you wait in the hall, please? 1522 00:59:48,193 --> 00:59:50,587 I'm not waiting an hour to talk to you. 1523 00:59:50,761 --> 00:59:53,241 -Oh. -I need to talk to you now. 1524 00:59:53,415 --> 00:59:55,548 My name is José. 1525 00:59:56,549 --> 00:59:58,290 Most people call me Chato. 1526 00:59:58,464 --> 01:00:03,295 If you haven't heard about me, she has. 1527 01:00:03,861 --> 01:00:05,993 José, it's been a while. 1528 01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:08,430 I need to talk to him alone. 1529 01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:10,911 Okay, he said alone. 1530 01:00:11,085 --> 01:00:12,826 Everybody out. That includes me. 1531 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:13,871 Hey! 1532 01:00:14,872 --> 01:00:16,351 -Sit down. -[whimpers] 1533 01:00:16,525 --> 01:00:18,092 I said alone. 1534 01:00:18,963 --> 01:00:20,181 I'll be outside. 1535 01:00:22,488 --> 01:00:24,359 Stay real close, okay? 1536 01:00:25,447 --> 01:00:27,624 Now, how can I help you? 1537 01:00:29,451 --> 01:00:30,670 I have a daughter. 1538 01:00:32,063 --> 01:00:33,673 She's very sick. 1539 01:00:33,847 --> 01:00:35,632 I've taken her to the best doctors, 1540 01:00:35,806 --> 01:00:37,285 and they don't know shit. 1541 01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,767 Well, you've come to the right place, 1542 01:00:40,941 --> 01:00:42,334 because the Lord told me you were coming. 1543 01:00:42,508 --> 01:00:44,336 Believe it or not, I was expecting you. 1544 01:00:46,207 --> 01:00:47,774 I don't believe your bullshit. 1545 01:00:47,948 --> 01:00:49,646 He told me that too. Isn't it something? 1546 01:00:49,820 --> 01:00:51,473 Ow! Ow! Oh, man! 1547 01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:52,605 You went Will Smith on me. 1548 01:00:52,779 --> 01:00:54,085 You don't gotta do that. 1549 01:00:54,259 --> 01:00:56,174 Listen, I don't believe your bullshit. 1550 01:00:56,348 --> 01:00:57,305 My wife does. 1551 01:00:57,479 --> 01:00:58,437 Well... 1552 01:00:58,611 --> 01:01:00,395 We all have someone in life 1553 01:01:01,135 --> 01:01:02,223 that we fear. 1554 01:01:02,397 --> 01:01:03,747 I, I mean, respect. 1555 01:01:04,312 --> 01:01:06,793 For me, that's my wife. 1556 01:01:06,967 --> 01:01:09,622 Well, that's the reason I'm not married, you know, 'cause, uh... 1557 01:01:10,754 --> 01:01:11,537 I might be gay. 1558 01:01:11,711 --> 01:01:12,625 Shut up! 1559 01:01:13,234 --> 01:01:15,019 I need you to heal my daughter. 1560 01:01:15,628 --> 01:01:17,282 Well, you know, those are miracles that-- 1561 01:01:17,456 --> 01:01:18,718 Miracles, they're kind of spotty. 1562 01:01:18,892 --> 01:01:19,806 You know, sometimes they happen, 1563 01:01:19,980 --> 01:01:21,155 sometimes it doesn't happen. 1564 01:01:21,329 --> 01:01:22,766 You're her last hope. 1565 01:01:24,768 --> 01:01:26,900 And I'm your last hope. 1566 01:01:27,553 --> 01:01:29,947 Well, uh, I'm gonna do my very best. 1567 01:01:30,121 --> 01:01:31,339 No! 1568 01:01:31,513 --> 01:01:32,863 Your best ain't shit. 1569 01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:37,606 -[sighs] -If my daughter should die, 1570 01:01:38,172 --> 01:01:42,220 you... will be her chaperone to heaven. 1571 01:01:42,394 --> 01:01:44,918 -But-- -Do we understand each other now? 1572 01:01:45,092 --> 01:01:46,572 No, no, let me recap. 1573 01:01:46,746 --> 01:01:48,269 You're saying that you're taking your daughter 1574 01:01:48,443 --> 01:01:50,228 to all the best doctors 1575 01:01:50,402 --> 01:01:51,664 and they haven't been able to do nothing for her, 1576 01:01:51,838 --> 01:01:54,058 but now I'm supposed to cure her 1577 01:01:54,232 --> 01:01:55,494 or else you're gonna kill me. 1578 01:01:55,668 --> 01:01:57,061 Is that pretty much it? 1579 01:01:57,235 --> 01:01:58,540 Wow, what a deal. 1580 01:01:59,019 --> 01:02:00,455 -Wow. -We understand each other. 1581 01:02:00,629 --> 01:02:02,022 Don't try to run. 1582 01:02:03,371 --> 01:02:06,679 There's nowhere on Earth you can hide from me. 1583 01:02:07,767 --> 01:02:08,942 Understand that. 1584 01:02:09,116 --> 01:02:10,204 Yeah, yeah. 1585 01:02:10,814 --> 01:02:12,032 Okay. Uh... 1586 01:02:12,903 --> 01:02:14,600 Hey, hey, I'm, I'm not running. 1587 01:02:15,775 --> 01:02:18,430 -My legs are like spaghetti. Hey. -What happened? 1588 01:02:18,604 --> 01:02:19,910 Well, we're not going national. 1589 01:02:20,084 --> 01:02:21,259 What do you mean? 1590 01:02:21,433 --> 01:02:23,696 -Who is that guy? -He's pretty big. 1591 01:02:23,870 --> 01:02:25,437 He's a shot caller around here. 1592 01:02:25,611 --> 01:02:26,830 Oh, my. 1593 01:02:28,266 --> 01:02:30,355 Do we know anybody that could take care of him? 1594 01:02:31,443 --> 01:02:32,400 Sure. 1595 01:02:33,619 --> 01:02:34,533 Who? 1596 01:02:34,707 --> 01:02:35,621 God. 1597 01:02:38,624 --> 01:02:39,886 I need a diaper. 1598 01:02:40,713 --> 01:02:43,368 ♪ Dang, the maggot in the casket eats like a king ♪ 1599 01:02:43,542 --> 01:02:45,979 ♪ He read your headstone Come eat at Joe's ♪ 1600 01:02:46,153 --> 01:02:48,503 ♪ Fresh flesh is the special with a side of toast ♪ 1601 01:02:48,677 --> 01:02:50,984 ♪ And I ain't got no punks that can't fade me ♪ 1602 01:02:51,158 --> 01:02:53,247 ♪ Just the smoke from the tide ♪ 1603 01:02:53,421 --> 01:02:55,684 ♪ Now we're rolling up a jo' and we're getting fucked up ♪ 1604 01:02:55,859 --> 01:02:57,469 ♪ Ha, ha, yeah me and the homies ♪ 1605 01:02:57,643 --> 01:03:00,385 ♪ Are just getting high... ♪ 1606 01:03:01,821 --> 01:03:03,257 [groans] 1607 01:03:04,084 --> 01:03:05,303 Excuse me. 1608 01:03:06,608 --> 01:03:07,566 [mumbles] 1609 01:03:07,740 --> 01:03:09,786 [heavenly harp music] 1610 01:03:11,526 --> 01:03:12,876 Whoa. 1611 01:03:13,050 --> 01:03:14,094 I've never been this high. 1612 01:03:14,268 --> 01:03:15,879 I gotta lay off that Ambien. 1613 01:03:18,403 --> 01:03:20,666 Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. 1614 01:03:21,232 --> 01:03:23,408 -Excuse me, pardon me. -Mm. 1615 01:03:23,582 --> 01:03:25,540 Señor,am I... 1616 01:03:25,714 --> 01:03:28,239 I am in hell! Oh, God! [sobs] 1617 01:03:28,413 --> 01:03:30,632 Hell? Why would you say that? 1618 01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:31,982 Because you look like the devil. 1619 01:03:32,156 --> 01:03:34,332 No, you dumbass. I'm God. 1620 01:03:34,506 --> 01:03:37,161 Come on. Everybody knows God's got blonde hair like Brad Pitt. 1621 01:03:37,335 --> 01:03:39,163 You racist son of a bitch! 1622 01:03:39,337 --> 01:03:41,165 -Man, what's wrong with you? -No, no, no, no. 1623 01:03:41,339 --> 01:03:43,820 It's just I never thought God would be Latino with chancletas. 1624 01:03:43,994 --> 01:03:45,517 -Come on. -What, you got something against Latinos? 1625 01:03:45,691 --> 01:03:47,736 No, no, no. I got nothing against Latinos. I'm Latino. 1626 01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:49,434 -Mexican, right? -Yeah, I love being Mexican. 1627 01:03:49,608 --> 01:03:51,915 -Do you love being Mexican? -I love being Mexican. 1628 01:03:52,089 --> 01:03:53,438 I love being Puerto Rican. 1629 01:03:53,612 --> 01:03:54,787 -Good. Good. -And I'm legal! 1630 01:03:54,961 --> 01:03:56,093 [both yell] 1631 01:03:56,267 --> 01:03:57,224 Okay, Pablo. Oh, oh. 1632 01:03:57,398 --> 01:03:58,704 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 1633 01:04:00,749 --> 01:04:02,055 -[explosion] -Wow. What was that for? 1634 01:04:02,577 --> 01:04:04,144 The damn Russians, they're at it again. 1635 01:04:04,318 --> 01:04:06,407 -[speaks in Spanish] -Oh. Yeah, they got it coming. 1636 01:04:06,581 --> 01:04:08,409 [mumbling] Look, what are you-- 1637 01:04:08,583 --> 01:04:09,628 You smoke? God smokes? 1638 01:04:09,802 --> 01:04:11,543 Oh, check it out. Check it out. 1639 01:04:11,717 --> 01:04:13,893 -Yeah. -Puffing with God, huh? 1640 01:04:14,981 --> 01:04:16,896 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's it, man. 1641 01:04:17,070 --> 01:04:18,985 -It's really special. -[groans] 1642 01:04:19,159 --> 01:04:20,682 -What is that? -Okay, now, mira. 1643 01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:22,119 [coughing] 1644 01:04:22,293 --> 01:04:24,164 This is from Pete on 9th Street Avenue, 1645 01:04:24,338 --> 01:04:25,339 Lower East Side. 1646 01:04:25,513 --> 01:04:27,037 [speaks in Spanish] 1647 01:04:27,211 --> 01:04:28,690 -I heard that. -Yeah, man. 1648 01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:29,953 -I heard that. [groans] -Don't play. Now, listen. 1649 01:04:30,127 --> 01:04:31,606 Pablo, 1650 01:04:31,780 --> 01:04:33,434 you got some problems you need to talk about. 1651 01:04:33,608 --> 01:04:35,654 Oh, come on. No big problems. Just little problems. 1652 01:04:35,828 --> 01:04:38,352 I, I've done a little this, a little that, but nothing big. 1653 01:04:38,526 --> 01:04:41,181 Okay. All right, you-- I forgot, you're God, you know everything. 1654 01:04:41,355 --> 01:04:43,009 -Hello. -You're like the IRS. 1655 01:04:43,183 --> 01:04:44,968 -That's right. -Okay, so, 1656 01:04:45,142 --> 01:04:46,883 well, I'll never lie to you again. 1657 01:04:47,057 --> 01:04:48,623 You're lying right now, Pablo. 1658 01:04:48,797 --> 01:04:51,191 God, if I, if I could just have the Lotto numbers. 1659 01:04:51,365 --> 01:04:54,194 Momento.You see, this is not Sábado Gigante 1660 01:04:54,368 --> 01:04:55,892 -or Jeopardy,okay? -[sighs] 1661 01:04:56,066 --> 01:04:57,589 Come on, Pablo. 1662 01:04:57,763 --> 01:04:59,547 Just give me a little more time. 1663 01:04:59,721 --> 01:05:01,027 Time? You need time? 1664 01:05:01,506 --> 01:05:03,987 Get a watch, bitch. Get a watch. 1665 01:05:04,161 --> 01:05:06,772 Wow, I thought God was all about love and understanding. 1666 01:05:06,946 --> 01:05:09,035 Oh, I am about love and understanding. 1667 01:05:09,209 --> 01:05:11,255 But you know what? I tried with you. 1668 01:05:11,429 --> 01:05:14,345 Nothing works, Pablo. Nothing works. 1669 01:05:14,519 --> 01:05:16,216 But my mother said I was special. 1670 01:05:16,390 --> 01:05:17,522 Oh, you're special. 1671 01:05:17,696 --> 01:05:18,784 I am special? 1672 01:05:18,958 --> 01:05:20,003 Not in a good way. 1673 01:05:20,177 --> 01:05:21,700 -Oh. -No, you know what? 1674 01:05:21,874 --> 01:05:23,397 You out there scamming people. 1675 01:05:23,571 --> 01:05:25,965 I'm just trying to make a living like anybody else. 1676 01:05:26,139 --> 01:05:28,315 I haven't decided if you're gonna go to hell yet, 1677 01:05:28,489 --> 01:05:30,839 but you're close. You're close. You're close. 1678 01:05:31,014 --> 01:05:33,538 I believe in you. I, I wanna be like you. 1679 01:05:33,712 --> 01:05:34,974 I wanna stay here with you. 1680 01:05:35,148 --> 01:05:36,280 -All right. Whoa. -[flip-flop whistling] 1681 01:05:36,454 --> 01:05:38,499 [speaks in Spanish] 1682 01:05:40,414 --> 01:05:42,503 -All right. -You got an, you got an angel named Raúl? 1683 01:05:42,677 --> 01:05:45,028 Yeah, man. He's in anger management right now, 1684 01:05:45,202 --> 01:05:47,856 -but, you know, he's doing better. -Ah, la bodega? 1685 01:05:48,031 --> 01:05:49,728 La bodega,the Lower East Side. 1686 01:05:49,902 --> 01:05:51,773 -I heard of him. -Maybe you should talk to him. 1687 01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:52,818 Pablo... 1688 01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:56,213 Well, is there anything I can do to avoid going to, 1689 01:05:56,387 --> 01:05:57,431 you know, down there? 1690 01:05:57,605 --> 01:05:58,824 No, you don't have to go down. 1691 01:05:59,390 --> 01:06:01,131 Uh, no, I meant, you know, to Earth. 1692 01:06:01,305 --> 01:06:02,610 Oh, oh, oh, okay. 1693 01:06:02,784 --> 01:06:03,829 Yeah, you do that. 1694 01:06:04,003 --> 01:06:04,917 I gotta go. 1695 01:06:05,091 --> 01:06:06,440 I got a recall on Tesla. 1696 01:06:06,614 --> 01:06:09,922 There's about 14 wars going on. [yells] 1697 01:06:10,096 --> 01:06:12,185 -What? What? What? -Tito Puente and Celia 1698 01:06:12,359 --> 01:06:13,882 going out in two minutes. 1699 01:06:14,057 --> 01:06:15,928 -Can I go, please? -No, I got one ticket. 1700 01:06:16,102 --> 01:06:18,104 -You got work to do, Pablo. -I promise, I'll be better. 1701 01:06:18,278 --> 01:06:19,584 I'll be better. Please don't send me to hell. 1702 01:06:19,758 --> 01:06:21,194 Stop lying to yourself. 1703 01:06:21,368 --> 01:06:23,544 I haven't decided yet, but I'll get back to you. 1704 01:06:23,718 --> 01:06:26,069 [God scatting] 1705 01:06:26,243 --> 01:06:28,114 [whooshing] 1706 01:06:29,072 --> 01:06:32,814 God gets to hear Tito Puente and Celia Cruz every night. 1707 01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:35,948 Shit, that is heaven. [chuckles] 1708 01:06:36,862 --> 01:06:37,602 Better straighten out. 1709 01:06:37,776 --> 01:06:39,908 [upbeat music] 1710 01:06:45,305 --> 01:06:47,568 [man on radio] Latino 96.2, LA's party station 1711 01:06:47,742 --> 01:06:49,701 with me, the Manic Hispanic. 1712 01:06:49,875 --> 01:06:52,356 So, LA's own Preacher Pablo has been performing miracles 1713 01:06:52,530 --> 01:06:53,922 all over the place. 1714 01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:56,316 Now, is there nothing he can't do? 1715 01:06:56,490 --> 01:06:59,798 All I want is for him to make my child support payments disappear. 1716 01:06:59,972 --> 01:07:01,930 [chuckles] 1717 01:07:02,105 --> 01:07:03,889 [bartender] What you reading there, uh, Preacher Pablo? 1718 01:07:04,063 --> 01:07:05,978 Uh, one of those new tax exemptions 1719 01:07:06,152 --> 01:07:08,154 for your phony-ass little churches? 1720 01:07:08,328 --> 01:07:11,201 Uh, no. I wish it was that simple. 1721 01:07:11,375 --> 01:07:13,116 What's going on? Oh, geez. 1722 01:07:13,290 --> 01:07:15,553 If I don't fix it, uh, it could be my last drink. 1723 01:07:16,249 --> 01:07:17,816 You planning on dying soon? 1724 01:07:18,643 --> 01:07:21,124 Well, I'm not planning on it, but it could happen. 1725 01:07:21,298 --> 01:07:22,473 [sighs] Finally, some good news. 1726 01:07:22,647 --> 01:07:23,691 [laughs] 1727 01:07:23,865 --> 01:07:24,779 Uh, thanks a lot for the support. 1728 01:07:24,953 --> 01:07:25,824 Let me have a drink. 1729 01:07:25,998 --> 01:07:27,391 All right. [mumbles] 1730 01:07:29,784 --> 01:07:31,569 I'm gonna need cash upfront this time, buddy. 1731 01:07:31,743 --> 01:07:33,310 [laughs] 'Cause you're gonna... 1732 01:07:33,484 --> 01:07:35,051 -[grunts] -[sighs] 1733 01:07:35,660 --> 01:07:37,662 Would-be gangster or gangster, I've never heard of, 1734 01:07:37,836 --> 01:07:38,837 he comes over to my church, right, 1735 01:07:39,011 --> 01:07:41,144 and he starts threatening me 1736 01:07:41,318 --> 01:07:42,580 that if I don't cure his daughter 1737 01:07:42,754 --> 01:07:43,755 or get a miracle for his daughter, 1738 01:07:43,929 --> 01:07:45,017 he's gonna kill me. 1739 01:07:45,931 --> 01:07:47,715 -Who? -I've never heard of him. 1740 01:07:47,889 --> 01:07:49,804 Uh, some guy named, uh, Chato. 1741 01:07:49,978 --> 01:07:51,328 Ooh, Chapo. Ooh. 1742 01:07:51,502 --> 01:07:53,330 Not Chapo, Chato. 1743 01:07:53,504 --> 01:07:55,201 Chato? Jesus, he's even worse. 1744 01:07:55,375 --> 01:07:56,768 You trying to cheer me up? 1745 01:07:57,334 --> 01:07:59,336 Oh, didn't you give, uh, Angeles her cut? 1746 01:07:59,510 --> 01:08:03,340 I do, I do, but uh, even she can't help me. 1747 01:08:04,123 --> 01:08:05,472 I don't know what to do. 1748 01:08:05,646 --> 01:08:07,561 What? You just tell him you're a fraud. 1749 01:08:07,735 --> 01:08:08,997 I did. I tried to tell him I'm a fraud. 1750 01:08:09,172 --> 01:08:10,303 I said I don't cure people for real. 1751 01:08:10,477 --> 01:08:11,652 Everybody knows you're a fraud. 1752 01:08:11,826 --> 01:08:13,263 All you preachers are phony. 1753 01:08:13,437 --> 01:08:15,656 All you Bible thumpers, you little Jesus freaks. 1754 01:08:15,830 --> 01:08:17,354 -[mumbles] -Hey, hey, and all you bartenders 1755 01:08:17,528 --> 01:08:18,703 like to water down their drinks. 1756 01:08:18,877 --> 01:08:20,052 You don't see me stop drinking here. 1757 01:08:20,226 --> 01:08:21,749 Not every drink. What's her illness? 1758 01:08:21,923 --> 01:08:23,664 I don't know. I'm not a doctor. 1759 01:08:23,838 --> 01:08:26,363 You're not a preacher either, you lying ass sack of shit, 1760 01:08:26,537 --> 01:08:27,929 so just do a fake miracle. 1761 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:29,366 Oh, man, are you gonna bust my balls 1762 01:08:29,540 --> 01:08:31,585 or are you gonna try to help me? Jeez. 1763 01:08:31,759 --> 01:08:34,675 Lucky for you, we got a lot of world-class doctors 1764 01:08:34,849 --> 01:08:37,461 that congregate right here at my fine establishment. 1765 01:08:37,635 --> 01:08:39,637 World-class doctors in this shithole? Come on. 1766 01:08:39,811 --> 01:08:41,682 Only doctor that's ever been here is Dr. Pepper. 1767 01:08:41,856 --> 01:08:43,467 Jesus Christ. 1768 01:08:46,078 --> 01:08:48,254 Uh, excuse me. Are, are you a doctor? 1769 01:08:48,428 --> 01:08:49,647 A pediatrician. 1770 01:08:49,821 --> 01:08:51,257 Ain't nothing wrong with her feet. 1771 01:08:51,431 --> 01:08:53,346 [bartender] Children's doctor, you dumbass. 1772 01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:54,869 -May I look at those? -Yes, please. 1773 01:08:55,043 --> 01:08:56,349 Thank you. 1774 01:08:56,523 --> 01:08:57,524 Hm. 1775 01:08:58,308 --> 01:08:59,657 Let's see here. 1776 01:09:00,353 --> 01:09:01,354 She's eight. 1777 01:09:02,573 --> 01:09:04,009 -That's strange. -Why? 1778 01:09:04,966 --> 01:09:06,272 Well, where's she from? 1779 01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:07,752 Uh, around here, as far as I know. 1780 01:09:07,926 --> 01:09:10,102 -Los Angeles? -Yes, as far as I know. 1781 01:09:10,276 --> 01:09:12,104 Okay, she'll be fine. 1782 01:09:12,278 --> 01:09:16,369 -What do you mean? -Well, this is a very rare disorder. 1783 01:09:16,543 --> 01:09:17,544 It's rare here. 1784 01:09:18,502 --> 01:09:20,808 It's not taking her life 1785 01:09:20,982 --> 01:09:23,333 or... killing her. 1786 01:09:24,116 --> 01:09:26,510 What it is, she was probably standing on the soil 1787 01:09:26,684 --> 01:09:29,600 in a foreign country, like South America, 1788 01:09:30,253 --> 01:09:31,950 or in a tropical climate, 1789 01:09:32,472 --> 01:09:35,040 and the particles in the ground came up to her feet. 1790 01:09:35,519 --> 01:09:39,087 What the particles and the chemicals in the particles did to her body. 1791 01:09:39,697 --> 01:09:41,568 -You think I can cure her? -No, you can't. 1792 01:09:41,742 --> 01:09:43,570 But these little pills will help. 1793 01:09:43,744 --> 01:09:46,660 This has to be done with medical practice and healing. 1794 01:09:46,834 --> 01:09:50,838 I'm going to prescribe you these pills to take, 1795 01:09:51,491 --> 01:09:55,756 and you give her two quinines a day for six days, 1796 01:09:55,930 --> 01:09:57,758 and the healing will become a miracle. 1797 01:09:57,932 --> 01:09:59,760 -Are you sure? -Yeah, I'm positive. 1798 01:09:59,934 --> 01:10:02,154 Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. 1799 01:10:02,328 --> 01:10:04,112 Uh, thanks, Doc. Is there anything I can do for you? 1800 01:10:04,287 --> 01:10:05,549 Can I get you a pint of blood? 1801 01:10:05,723 --> 01:10:07,203 Uh, maybe, uh, your own personal vampire 1802 01:10:07,377 --> 01:10:09,117 female, uh, nurse or golf clubs? 1803 01:10:09,292 --> 01:10:10,684 A Ferrari. 1804 01:10:10,858 --> 01:10:13,209 -[laughs] He is a doctor. -[bartender laughs] 1805 01:10:13,383 --> 01:10:14,993 -Thanks, Doc. Thanks, Doc. -[doctor] You're welcome. 1806 01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:16,995 [news jingle music] 1807 01:10:17,169 --> 01:10:19,389 Preacher Pablo keeps making news 1808 01:10:19,563 --> 01:10:21,434 as more and more people 1809 01:10:21,608 --> 01:10:23,393 claim to have been healed by him. 1810 01:10:23,567 --> 01:10:25,438 [Rusty] It's been announced that his TV show 1811 01:10:25,612 --> 01:10:28,572 will soon go into syndication all across the country. 1812 01:10:28,746 --> 01:10:30,400 Experts are saying that at this rate, 1813 01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:33,229 his following is growing by leaps and bounds. 1814 01:10:33,403 --> 01:10:37,058 He's on his way to becoming the most successful TV preacher ever. 1815 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:39,017 [chuckles] Look out, Joel Osteen. 1816 01:10:39,191 --> 01:10:43,282 T. D. Jakes, Billy Graham, the Kardashians, 1817 01:10:43,456 --> 01:10:46,111 Chateau, any of those fools. 1818 01:10:46,677 --> 01:10:49,897 So, apparently, this is just for everybody that's not watching Telemundo? 1819 01:10:50,550 --> 01:10:51,508 Those freaks. 1820 01:10:51,682 --> 01:10:53,771 [upbeat music] 1821 01:10:57,165 --> 01:10:59,342 Guys, great you're here. Listen. 1822 01:10:59,516 --> 01:11:02,214 What about if you make Jesus appear? 1823 01:11:02,910 --> 01:11:04,956 -What do you mean? -I'm talking about miracles. 1824 01:11:05,130 --> 01:11:06,566 We need miracles. 1825 01:11:06,740 --> 01:11:08,568 Just like an apparition somewhere. 1826 01:11:08,742 --> 01:11:11,223 Come on, Angeles, don't you think that my, my sermons, 1827 01:11:11,397 --> 01:11:14,095 my makeup is getting more to the point, more powerful? 1828 01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:15,880 -It's getting old. -What? 1829 01:11:16,054 --> 01:11:17,447 We need something new. 1830 01:11:17,621 --> 01:11:19,013 What about my acting? It's pretty good, right? 1831 01:11:19,187 --> 01:11:21,059 Yeah, he's had leprosy, 1832 01:11:21,233 --> 01:11:23,148 he's been uh, pregnant twice. 1833 01:11:23,322 --> 01:11:24,584 He's been blind, crippled. 1834 01:11:24,758 --> 01:11:26,238 I beat AIDS, again. 1835 01:11:26,412 --> 01:11:27,544 [Pablo] Twice. 1836 01:11:28,501 --> 01:11:31,374 Guys, trust me on this. It's gonna be huge. 1837 01:11:31,548 --> 01:11:33,506 Just make Jesus appear. 1838 01:11:34,028 --> 01:11:36,857 I don't care where. It could be in a tree, 1839 01:11:37,031 --> 01:11:40,034 in a wall, in a tortilla, in your forehead. 1840 01:11:40,208 --> 01:11:41,427 I just don't give a shit. 1841 01:11:41,601 --> 01:11:43,124 You figure it out. 1842 01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:44,691 Well, you figure it out. 1843 01:11:44,865 --> 01:11:46,171 Okay, I'm on it. 1844 01:11:46,345 --> 01:11:47,564 One Jesus coming up. 1845 01:11:47,738 --> 01:11:48,913 [groans] 1846 01:11:49,087 --> 01:11:50,088 You know. Oh, sorry. 1847 01:11:50,262 --> 01:11:51,307 Keep your distance. 1848 01:11:51,481 --> 01:11:52,656 [whispering] She likes me. 1849 01:11:53,265 --> 01:11:54,440 [Pablo] I thought my makeup and my eyebrows 1850 01:11:54,614 --> 01:11:56,442 were opening the show up, but... 1851 01:11:56,921 --> 01:11:59,227 Hey, Angeles! And I need better hair spray. 1852 01:12:00,141 --> 01:12:04,276 -♪ So mentally unhealthy ♪ -♪ So mentally unhealthy ♪ 1853 01:12:04,450 --> 01:12:07,888 -♪ I think things I shouldn't think ♪ -♪ Shouldn't think ♪ 1854 01:12:08,062 --> 01:12:09,890 -♪ I'm on the brink ♪ -♪ On the ♪ 1855 01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:11,718 -♪ Someone help me ♪ -♪ Someone help me ♪ 1856 01:12:11,892 --> 01:12:14,939 ♪ I'm so mentally unhealthy ♪ 1857 01:12:19,117 --> 01:12:20,901 ♪ I need a vacation from my mind... ♪ 1858 01:12:21,075 --> 01:12:22,555 [speaks in Spanish] 1859 01:12:24,775 --> 01:12:27,908 Just like Preacher Pablo predicted. Oh! 1860 01:12:28,082 --> 01:12:29,910 Go. Go, tell everybody. Go! 1861 01:12:30,084 --> 01:12:31,564 It's a miracle. 1862 01:12:31,738 --> 01:12:32,870 ♪ Hi... ♪ 1863 01:12:35,786 --> 01:12:37,048 -[gasps] -[plate breaks] 1864 01:12:37,222 --> 01:12:38,571 What happened, Mommy? 1865 01:12:41,792 --> 01:12:44,360 [mother] Look, baby, it's a sign. 1866 01:12:45,491 --> 01:12:47,406 It's a sign he'll cure me. 1867 01:12:48,799 --> 01:12:51,192 Yes, baby, God willing. 1868 01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:53,325 [gentle music] 1869 01:12:54,413 --> 01:12:57,068 -Amen. -Amen. [chuckles] 1870 01:12:57,242 --> 01:13:00,158 -[dramatic music] -Well, just as predicted by Preacher Pablo, 1871 01:13:00,332 --> 01:13:03,640 people all around the city are reporting finding holy images. 1872 01:13:03,814 --> 01:13:06,120 The so-called God's messenger is asserting the belief 1873 01:13:06,294 --> 01:13:08,035 that he's the real deal. 1874 01:13:08,209 --> 01:13:09,559 More and more people are starting to believe in him 1875 01:13:09,733 --> 01:13:11,038 and in his power to heal. 1876 01:13:11,212 --> 01:13:12,605 [Dusten] People all around the city 1877 01:13:12,779 --> 01:13:14,607 are reporting finding holy images. 1878 01:13:14,781 --> 01:13:17,480 Well, not in my city. I live in Calabasas. 1879 01:13:17,654 --> 01:13:19,960 The only Pablo I know is my weed dealer. 1880 01:13:20,570 --> 01:13:23,573 He claims this power comes directly from God. 1881 01:13:24,225 --> 01:13:25,488 But is that true? 1882 01:13:25,662 --> 01:13:27,141 I went to find out. 1883 01:13:29,927 --> 01:13:31,319 I'm not gonna go and find out! 1884 01:13:31,494 --> 01:13:33,365 [stutters] Come on. We do this every time, 1885 01:13:33,539 --> 01:13:34,758 and it's the same thing. 1886 01:13:34,932 --> 01:13:36,455 I mean, they find it in a tortilla. 1887 01:13:36,629 --> 01:13:38,283 Why is it not always a tortilla? Why isn't it, like, 1888 01:13:38,457 --> 01:13:39,719 in my sourdough, you know? 1889 01:13:39,893 --> 01:13:42,330 [upbeat music] 1890 01:13:45,159 --> 01:13:46,509 -You okay? -Mm-hm. 1891 01:13:49,860 --> 01:13:53,341 No, for reals, a hot tub is just like a baptismal, see? 1892 01:13:53,516 --> 01:13:56,344 The hotter the water is, the quicker the sins wash away. 1893 01:13:56,519 --> 01:13:58,042 For example, the bubbles, that's the best way 1894 01:13:58,216 --> 01:14:00,566 -to get rid of the bad seeds. -Uh, Preacher Pablo? 1895 01:14:00,740 --> 01:14:01,785 I'll be right with you. I'm in the middle of a counselling. You, you have to-- 1896 01:14:01,959 --> 01:14:03,351 Preacher Pablo, please! 1897 01:14:03,526 --> 01:14:04,570 I'll be right with you, okay? 1898 01:14:04,744 --> 01:14:06,224 Don't go away. Yes? 1899 01:14:06,398 --> 01:14:07,617 I'm Rachel. 1900 01:14:07,791 --> 01:14:09,314 Hi, Rachel. N-- nice to meet you. 1901 01:14:09,488 --> 01:14:10,794 Uh, what can I do for you? 1902 01:14:10,968 --> 01:14:12,317 This is my daughter, Rosita. 1903 01:14:12,491 --> 01:14:13,492 Rosita. 1904 01:14:14,145 --> 01:14:16,495 She has cancer. Can you please heal her? 1905 01:14:16,669 --> 01:14:18,497 I, I know you can. I feel it in my heart. 1906 01:14:18,671 --> 01:14:20,499 Uh, uh, I don't-- Look, it doesn't work like that. 1907 01:14:20,673 --> 01:14:21,892 The Lord does all the healing. 1908 01:14:22,066 --> 01:14:23,241 I, I don't do the healing. 1909 01:14:23,415 --> 01:14:24,982 It's somet-- it comes from above. 1910 01:14:25,156 --> 01:14:26,679 [Rosita] Please, Preacher Pablo. 1911 01:14:27,375 --> 01:14:29,377 I, I saw you on TV. 1912 01:14:29,552 --> 01:14:31,641 [Pablo] Well, I, I'm glad you're watching TV, 1913 01:14:31,815 --> 01:14:34,644 and I'm really sorry what's happening to you, but I don't have the power. 1914 01:14:34,818 --> 01:14:36,733 -I'm just a, a vessel-- -[Rachel] Please, please help us. 1915 01:14:36,907 --> 01:14:38,517 Lord gave you the power to heal. 1916 01:14:38,691 --> 01:14:40,171 -Can you please cure her? -[emotional piano music] 1917 01:14:40,345 --> 01:14:42,042 -Please. I'm begging you. -[Pablo] Not all the time. 1918 01:14:42,216 --> 01:14:43,783 I don't have the power. It's not within me. 1919 01:14:43,957 --> 01:14:45,002 It's within God. 1920 01:14:45,176 --> 01:14:46,394 I have no say so in it. 1921 01:14:46,569 --> 01:14:47,439 [Rachel] Please. I'm begging you. 1922 01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:48,832 You're our only hope. 1923 01:14:49,006 --> 01:14:51,269 [sobbing] Please, please cure my daughter. 1924 01:14:51,443 --> 01:14:52,792 [Pablo] I, I would like to do that, 1925 01:14:52,966 --> 01:14:54,141 but I don't know if I can. 1926 01:14:54,315 --> 01:14:55,360 I don't want to give you false hope-- 1927 01:14:55,534 --> 01:14:56,753 -Please. Please. -I would like to. 1928 01:14:56,927 --> 01:14:58,972 Please don't do that. I, I would-- 1929 01:14:59,146 --> 01:15:00,713 Nothing I would like to do more than this, 1930 01:15:00,887 --> 01:15:03,194 but I don't have the power. I can't. 1931 01:15:03,368 --> 01:15:04,587 Please. 1932 01:15:04,761 --> 01:15:07,067 It's gonna be okay, Mommy. 1933 01:15:08,286 --> 01:15:09,069 [sobs] 1934 01:15:09,243 --> 01:15:11,507 [music continues] 1935 01:15:21,908 --> 01:15:23,736 [crickets chirping] 1936 01:15:26,739 --> 01:15:28,088 [Pablo] I feel like shit, Güero. 1937 01:15:28,262 --> 01:15:30,264 [Güero] Wow. Let it go, Pablo. 1938 01:15:31,570 --> 01:15:32,919 Ah, I can't, you know. 1939 01:15:33,093 --> 01:15:35,356 I keep seeing that little girl ask me to 1940 01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:36,836 "Cure me, Preacher Pablo." 1941 01:15:37,010 --> 01:15:38,359 And that makes me feel like such a fraud. 1942 01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:39,839 You are a fraud, Pablo. 1943 01:15:40,013 --> 01:15:41,275 Oh, I know that, but I didn't mean 1944 01:15:41,449 --> 01:15:43,016 to hurt anybody being a fraud. 1945 01:15:44,235 --> 01:15:46,411 Who told you this? Snoop? Jesus. 1946 01:15:46,933 --> 01:15:48,674 -Whoo! -It's good stuff, huh? 1947 01:15:48,848 --> 01:15:50,197 One of my parishioners. 1948 01:15:50,371 --> 01:15:51,590 So, we're probably going to hell, Pablo. 1949 01:15:51,764 --> 01:15:53,461 Who cares? We finally got money. 1950 01:15:54,462 --> 01:15:57,770 No more-- [coughs] No more getting tacos off of Lutherans. 1951 01:15:57,944 --> 01:16:00,730 We got all the chicks, we got a sweet-ass ride, bro. 1952 01:16:00,904 --> 01:16:03,515 I know, man. I don't know, I don't know where I came up with this conscience. 1953 01:16:03,689 --> 01:16:05,212 I wish I didn't, you know. 1954 01:16:06,300 --> 01:16:09,565 ♪ ...that they're doing well They're gonna have judgment thrown ♪ 1955 01:16:09,739 --> 01:16:12,742 ♪ When the truth is known They're gonna be condemned away ♪ 1956 01:16:12,916 --> 01:16:14,831 ♪ You're gonna reap what you sow ♪ 1957 01:16:18,356 --> 01:16:20,706 ♪ You're gonna reap what you sow ♪ 1958 01:16:23,753 --> 01:16:27,017 ♪ God's gonna let you know ♪ 1959 01:16:29,280 --> 01:16:31,761 ♪ You're gonna reap what you sow... ♪ 1960 01:16:33,937 --> 01:16:36,200 -Jesus. -You got that right. 1961 01:16:38,463 --> 01:16:40,857 -Jesus lives here? -What's all this about? 1962 01:16:41,553 --> 01:16:42,685 This is your future. 1963 01:16:46,776 --> 01:16:49,779 [whistles] Wow. We afford this place? 1964 01:16:49,953 --> 01:16:51,302 Hell yes. 1965 01:16:51,476 --> 01:16:54,218 Once we go national, this and much more. 1966 01:16:54,392 --> 01:16:56,699 We are talking our own private jet. 1967 01:16:56,873 --> 01:17:00,137 Whoa, private jet, mile high club, vato. 1968 01:17:00,311 --> 01:17:01,442 [mimics gagging] 1969 01:17:03,009 --> 01:17:05,795 I didn't know there was this kind of money in religion. 1970 01:17:05,969 --> 01:17:07,057 Are you kidding me? 1971 01:17:07,231 --> 01:17:08,493 Oh, my God. 1972 01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:10,190 One day I'm gonna take you to Rome. 1973 01:17:10,364 --> 01:17:11,888 And wait until you see the Vatican. 1974 01:17:12,062 --> 01:17:14,325 [clicks tongue] That's a pad. 1975 01:17:14,499 --> 01:17:15,935 La Basilica di San Pietro 1976 01:17:16,109 --> 01:17:18,938 makes this place look like a cardboard box. 1977 01:17:19,678 --> 01:17:21,375 -[melancholic music] -[clicks tongue] 1978 01:17:21,549 --> 01:17:22,942 Pretty nice box. 1979 01:17:30,384 --> 01:17:31,995 What's going on? 1980 01:17:32,560 --> 01:17:33,779 He's trippin'. 1981 01:17:38,697 --> 01:17:40,438 [birds chirping] 1982 01:17:59,239 --> 01:18:00,284 I'm done. 1983 01:18:01,720 --> 01:18:03,591 I know you don't believe this, but, uh, 1984 01:18:04,244 --> 01:18:05,985 I quit. I'm done. 1985 01:18:06,551 --> 01:18:08,161 -No more. -What? 1986 01:18:08,335 --> 01:18:10,033 Who's the guy telling me, "Do you wanna eat tacos 1987 01:18:10,207 --> 01:18:12,296 the rest of your life? You call this successful?" 1988 01:18:12,470 --> 01:18:13,645 We're crooks, bro. 1989 01:18:13,819 --> 01:18:15,038 Don't ruin this for us. 1990 01:18:15,212 --> 01:18:16,692 I know we're crooks. 1991 01:18:17,475 --> 01:18:20,826 But... [sighs] I've done everything there is to, to be done. 1992 01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:23,002 I've stolen, I've cheated, I've lied, 1993 01:18:23,176 --> 01:18:25,788 but I've never taken something away from someone 1994 01:18:25,962 --> 01:18:27,485 that they couldn't get back. 1995 01:18:28,007 --> 01:18:30,183 Me going on television and pretending that 1996 01:18:30,357 --> 01:18:32,751 I'm in direct communication with God to take their money, 1997 01:18:32,925 --> 01:18:34,187 that's a new low. 1998 01:18:34,361 --> 01:18:35,362 I take more than their money. 1999 01:18:35,536 --> 01:18:36,929 I take their faith, their hopes, 2000 01:18:37,103 --> 01:18:39,323 their dreams, their most sacred beliefs, and... 2001 01:18:40,367 --> 01:18:42,195 [sighs] I can't do that no more. 2002 01:18:42,369 --> 01:18:44,284 Hey, everybody lies on TV. 2003 01:18:44,850 --> 01:18:47,113 Or how do you think they get us to buy their crap? 2004 01:18:47,635 --> 01:18:49,768 Because everything is a lie. 2005 01:18:50,421 --> 01:18:51,988 [Pablo] Don't you think I know that? 2006 01:18:52,162 --> 01:18:54,251 I just don't wanna cross that line anymore. 2007 01:18:54,817 --> 01:18:56,427 God knows you need the money, 2008 01:18:56,601 --> 01:18:58,472 because this place is not for free. 2009 01:18:58,646 --> 01:19:01,954 Angeles, people think I can cure them, you understand? 2010 01:19:02,128 --> 01:19:05,610 So does every pharmaceutical company out there. 2011 01:19:05,784 --> 01:19:07,873 Even when I was in jail, and I stole cigarettes, 2012 01:19:08,047 --> 01:19:09,527 and I lied to them about it, 2013 01:19:10,223 --> 01:19:11,703 I could still sleep at night. 2014 01:19:13,661 --> 01:19:14,793 But now I can't. 2015 01:19:17,013 --> 01:19:18,971 [Angeles] Oh, my God. Pablo, don't tell me that 2016 01:19:19,145 --> 01:19:21,234 you are the whore with a heart of gold. 2017 01:19:21,408 --> 01:19:23,019 Oh, I'm still a whore. 2018 01:19:23,193 --> 01:19:25,543 I don't know if my heart is made out of gold or copper, 2019 01:19:25,717 --> 01:19:27,197 but I know I have one. 2020 01:19:28,067 --> 01:19:30,983 And... I don't wanna lose that. 2021 01:19:31,505 --> 01:19:32,942 What a homo. 2022 01:19:33,116 --> 01:19:34,291 [sighs] What are you? 2023 01:19:34,465 --> 01:19:35,727 An honest crook? 2024 01:19:37,903 --> 01:19:39,775 Right now, I have no idea what I am. 2025 01:19:40,688 --> 01:19:41,864 But I know what I'm not. 2026 01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,041 I'm not doing this no more. 2027 01:19:45,563 --> 01:19:46,782 Pablo, don't say that. 2028 01:19:47,260 --> 01:19:48,871 You're not good for nothing. 2029 01:19:49,436 --> 01:19:51,874 You are amazing for something. 2030 01:19:52,439 --> 01:19:54,050 'Cause you suck people in. 2031 01:19:54,615 --> 01:19:56,792 -And that's amazing. -That's just the point, Angeles. 2032 01:19:56,966 --> 01:19:59,055 I don't wanna suck people in anymore. 2033 01:20:00,404 --> 01:20:03,015 I wish I were the best at something else other than this. 2034 01:20:04,234 --> 01:20:05,626 But you're gonna be okay without me. 2035 01:20:06,236 --> 01:20:08,760 You're like a cat. You'll always land on your feet. 2036 01:20:08,934 --> 01:20:12,024 You'll find another preacher that is just as good, if not better. 2037 01:20:12,198 --> 01:20:14,200 He might be a lot closer than you think. 2038 01:20:16,115 --> 01:20:18,509 [gentle acoustic music] 2039 01:20:22,818 --> 01:20:24,863 Hey, Gordy, have you seen the doctor? 2040 01:20:25,037 --> 01:20:28,084 Come on, man, I got rid of those, those STDs years ago. 2041 01:20:28,258 --> 01:20:30,564 I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the doctor, doctor. 2042 01:20:30,738 --> 01:20:32,523 -The pediatrician? -Yeah, the children's doctor. 2043 01:20:32,697 --> 01:20:34,481 Yeah, he was just here. Hey, there he is. 2044 01:20:34,655 --> 01:20:36,179 Hey, we were just talking about you. 2045 01:20:37,006 --> 01:20:39,791 ♪ I don't know where I'm to land... ♪ 2046 01:20:40,705 --> 01:20:42,925 [pediatrician] Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 2047 01:20:43,099 --> 01:20:45,884 This sweet child's not gonna be with us much longer. 2048 01:20:49,235 --> 01:20:51,934 ♪ How do I get where I'm going? ♪ 2049 01:20:53,239 --> 01:20:57,156 ♪ Could I be there without even knowing it? ♪ 2050 01:20:57,330 --> 01:20:59,158 ♪ I'm so tired of trying ♪ 2051 01:20:59,332 --> 01:21:04,685 ♪ How do I fight these tears that I am crying? ♪ 2052 01:21:05,295 --> 01:21:09,255 ♪ Gotta find the strength to push on ♪ 2053 01:21:09,429 --> 01:21:13,869 ♪ Listen to my heart and sing my song ♪ 2054 01:21:14,043 --> 01:21:16,219 ♪ Follow my dream wherever it leads... ♪ 2055 01:21:16,393 --> 01:21:18,786 [Father] Son, do you need to take confession? 2056 01:21:18,961 --> 01:21:20,527 Oh, no, Father. 2057 01:21:20,701 --> 01:21:23,095 Uh, I want to talk to Him directly, if you don't mind. 2058 01:21:23,269 --> 01:21:26,272 Well, if you need to talk, you know He'll hear you. 2059 01:21:27,099 --> 01:21:28,187 Yes, Father. 2060 01:21:29,275 --> 01:21:30,320 Hi, God. 2061 01:21:31,234 --> 01:21:32,844 It's me, Pablo Valenzuela. 2062 01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:35,020 I'm a crook, 2063 01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:38,458 but I certainly didn't want to hurt that little girl. 2064 01:21:39,982 --> 01:21:43,420 But I gave her hope, and I had no right to do that. 2065 01:21:44,377 --> 01:21:46,640 I gave her hope, which I think is just as bad, but, you see, 2066 01:21:46,814 --> 01:21:49,730 I, I thought I could cure her like that other little girl 2067 01:21:49,905 --> 01:21:51,341 when I went to see the doctor, 2068 01:21:51,515 --> 01:21:53,299 and he gave me some pills, and she got better, 2069 01:21:53,473 --> 01:21:55,823 and I figured I could do the same for this one. 2070 01:21:55,998 --> 01:21:58,870 But he said that she was hopeless, 2071 01:21:59,044 --> 01:22:00,350 and she was gonna die, 2072 01:22:00,524 --> 01:22:03,222 and there was nothing nobody can do. 2073 01:22:03,396 --> 01:22:06,443 So I came here, uh, to make a deal with you. 2074 01:22:06,617 --> 01:22:07,705 [clears throat] 2075 01:22:09,098 --> 01:22:12,971 Uh, why don't you take all the, uh, diseases that are bad 2076 01:22:13,145 --> 01:22:15,626 and, and give 'em to someone like me? 2077 01:22:16,192 --> 01:22:17,845 Perhaps there's another little kid out there 2078 01:22:18,020 --> 01:22:20,587 who, who has diseases that he doesn't deserve. 2079 01:22:20,761 --> 01:22:22,111 Well, how about, uh, 2080 01:22:22,285 --> 01:22:24,330 if you give 'em all to me, and uh... 2081 01:22:25,462 --> 01:22:27,159 ...and then that kid could live, huh? 2082 01:22:29,161 --> 01:22:31,468 Well, it's a simple deal. 2083 01:22:32,817 --> 01:22:33,861 You can do it. 2084 01:22:35,820 --> 01:22:37,561 That's all I have to say. 2085 01:22:39,389 --> 01:22:40,694 [woman sobbing] 2086 01:22:42,261 --> 01:22:43,436 [sniffles] 2087 01:22:44,481 --> 01:22:46,135 [sobbing] 2088 01:22:46,700 --> 01:22:48,398 I am so sorry. 2089 01:22:49,094 --> 01:22:53,098 ♪ Gotta find the strength to push on ♪ 2090 01:22:53,272 --> 01:22:57,624 ♪ Listen to my heart and sing my song ♪ 2091 01:22:57,798 --> 01:23:02,064 ♪ Follow my dream wherever it leads ♪ 2092 01:23:02,238 --> 01:23:07,417 ♪ 'Cause being me is all that I can be ♪ 2093 01:23:07,591 --> 01:23:11,247 ♪ Gotta find the strength to push on... ♪ 2094 01:23:13,684 --> 01:23:14,728 What the... 2095 01:23:14,902 --> 01:23:16,556 Look what the cat dragged in. 2096 01:23:16,730 --> 01:23:18,384 -Hi, Father. -You came by yourself? 2097 01:23:18,558 --> 01:23:20,082 Yeah, seems like it. 2098 01:23:22,388 --> 01:23:24,651 Just thought I'd come by, say hello to you. 2099 01:23:26,436 --> 01:23:30,005 So... what's new with, uh, Preacher Pablo? 2100 01:23:30,831 --> 01:23:31,789 So you heard, huh? 2101 01:23:31,963 --> 01:23:33,095 [chuckling] Who hasn't? 2102 01:23:33,660 --> 01:23:34,966 Yeah, well, uh, I'm done with that. 2103 01:23:35,140 --> 01:23:36,924 Uh, no more Preacher Pablo. 2104 01:23:37,664 --> 01:23:39,579 Really? You made a fortune, right? 2105 01:23:39,753 --> 01:23:41,364 I mean, isn't that what you wanted? 2106 01:23:41,538 --> 01:23:43,453 Well, I thought I did, but, uh, even a crook like me 2107 01:23:43,627 --> 01:23:45,455 should have his limits, don't you think? 2108 01:23:45,629 --> 01:23:47,065 You tell me, genius. 2109 01:23:47,935 --> 01:23:49,807 You know, I should go on television and tell everybody 2110 01:23:49,981 --> 01:23:52,331 that they're free to believe in whatever God they want, 2111 01:23:52,505 --> 01:23:53,985 but they should never give money to people 2112 01:23:54,159 --> 01:23:55,682 who need their money to spread the Word of God. 2113 01:23:55,856 --> 01:23:57,728 God don't need your money to spread the Word. 2114 01:23:58,207 --> 01:24:01,601 Anybody who does that is a crook and a fraud like I was. 2115 01:24:02,646 --> 01:24:03,908 And you want redemption? 2116 01:24:04,387 --> 01:24:06,780 I do want redemption, Father. That's why I'm here. 2117 01:24:06,954 --> 01:24:08,652 [melancholic piano music] 2118 01:24:08,826 --> 01:24:10,567 To tell you that I was wrong. 2119 01:24:11,611 --> 01:24:13,439 You and I, we're nothing alike. 2120 01:24:14,310 --> 01:24:15,528 I'm a crook. 2121 01:24:16,138 --> 01:24:18,618 You're a holy man, a true believer. [sniffles] 2122 01:24:19,837 --> 01:24:21,230 And what's next? 2123 01:24:21,404 --> 01:24:22,883 I don't know. I wish I knew. 2124 01:24:23,058 --> 01:24:24,755 You're not coming back here, are you? 2125 01:24:25,364 --> 01:24:27,453 I don't want to, but I might have to. 2126 01:24:28,237 --> 01:24:29,847 People like me deserve to be here. 2127 01:24:30,369 --> 01:24:31,414 -Really? -Yeah. 2128 01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:33,024 Have you learned anything, Pablo? 2129 01:24:33,198 --> 01:24:34,547 I have, Father. 2130 01:24:35,766 --> 01:24:38,725 I've learned to never trust a big butt and a smile. 2131 01:24:38,899 --> 01:24:40,727 Well, that's a start. 2132 01:24:40,901 --> 01:24:43,295 [laughs] It's a joke, Father. 2133 01:24:43,469 --> 01:24:45,558 You're a tough laugh. [laughs] 2134 01:24:45,732 --> 01:24:47,604 So you haven't really learned anything. 2135 01:24:48,561 --> 01:24:51,912 I've learned that, uh, there has to be another way to make money 2136 01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:54,350 without getting God involved. 2137 01:24:54,524 --> 01:24:55,525 That's it. 2138 01:24:57,048 --> 01:24:58,005 You're on a good path. 2139 01:24:58,180 --> 01:24:59,268 I'm proud of you. 2140 01:25:00,704 --> 01:25:02,009 I want to be proud of me. 2141 01:25:03,054 --> 01:25:04,142 Keep it up. Keep it up. 2142 01:25:04,316 --> 01:25:06,362 [music continues] 2143 01:25:11,584 --> 01:25:14,065 [news jingle music] 2144 01:25:14,239 --> 01:25:17,982 [Rusty] Well, the self-proclaimed holy man Preacher Pablo 2145 01:25:18,156 --> 01:25:20,289 is calling it quits, walking away 2146 01:25:20,463 --> 01:25:22,813 from a very lucrative syndication contract. 2147 01:25:23,335 --> 01:25:26,643 It's not clear why, but Preacher Pablo's highly successful show 2148 01:25:26,817 --> 01:25:28,166 will no longer air anymore, 2149 01:25:28,340 --> 01:25:30,690 just when it was about to go national. 2150 01:25:31,387 --> 01:25:33,040 We tried to reach him for comment, 2151 01:25:33,215 --> 01:25:35,042 but we haven't been able to get a response. 2152 01:25:37,741 --> 01:25:44,051 [Mama Love] ♪ What a friend we have in Jesus ♪ 2153 01:25:44,226 --> 01:25:48,491 ♪ All our sins and griefs ♪ 2154 01:25:48,665 --> 01:25:52,059 ♪ We bear ♪[vocalizes] 2155 01:25:52,234 --> 01:25:53,365 Mother Love? 2156 01:25:54,323 --> 01:25:56,542 Well, dip me in buttermilk. [chuckles] 2157 01:25:57,587 --> 01:25:59,719 If it ain't Preacher Pablo. 2158 01:25:59,893 --> 01:26:01,286 Yeah, not no more. 2159 01:26:01,460 --> 01:26:03,158 What do you mean, "Not no more"? 2160 01:26:03,332 --> 01:26:05,638 You're not healing the sick, and curing the blind, 2161 01:26:05,812 --> 01:26:07,771 and raising up the dead? 2162 01:26:08,293 --> 01:26:09,555 I'm done with that. 2163 01:26:10,469 --> 01:26:13,080 Speaking of curing the sick, what, what's wrong with your neck? 2164 01:26:14,038 --> 01:26:15,996 I had a little old fender-bender. 2165 01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:18,564 Barely even scraped the paint off my car. 2166 01:26:18,738 --> 01:26:21,176 I'm telling you, Larry H. Stalker, 2167 01:26:21,350 --> 01:26:22,481 -you heard of him. -Yeah. 2168 01:26:22,655 --> 01:26:23,917 -Yeah, the one on TV. -Mm-hm. 2169 01:26:24,091 --> 01:26:25,615 He said he could give me up to 15, 2170 01:26:25,789 --> 01:26:27,878 maybe even $20,000. 2171 01:26:28,052 --> 01:26:29,271 Love, shame on you. 2172 01:26:29,445 --> 01:26:30,837 You know that's insurance fraud, right? 2173 01:26:31,011 --> 01:26:32,535 Insurance fraud? 2174 01:26:32,709 --> 01:26:35,451 Me? I'm about to get my reparations. 2175 01:26:35,625 --> 01:26:38,497 Well, as long as you're okay. You're not hurting or nothing, are you? 2176 01:26:38,671 --> 01:26:40,978 I'm okay. This is my neck pillow. 2177 01:26:41,152 --> 01:26:43,676 Yeah. What I do is just kind of, like, 2178 01:26:43,850 --> 01:26:47,245 pull it down over my titties and lean back. 2179 01:26:47,419 --> 01:26:50,074 Man, I get the best sleep, I'm telling you. 2180 01:26:50,248 --> 01:26:52,729 Man, I'm telling you, this titty pillow is the best thing 2181 01:26:52,903 --> 01:26:54,818 -that ever happened to me. -What, what did you just say? 2182 01:26:54,992 --> 01:26:57,081 I said I get eight hours sleep. 2183 01:26:57,255 --> 01:26:58,996 No, no, no. Before that. 2184 01:26:59,170 --> 01:27:00,127 What you call them? 2185 01:27:00,302 --> 01:27:01,868 What? My, my, my titty pillow? 2186 01:27:02,042 --> 01:27:05,611 Titty pillows! Mummy Love, oh, we hit the jackpot! 2187 01:27:05,785 --> 01:27:07,352 Forget about Larry H. Stalker. 2188 01:27:07,526 --> 01:27:09,136 You gonna be rich, girl. 2189 01:27:09,311 --> 01:27:11,269 I mean, you done messed up my damn hair. 2190 01:27:11,443 --> 01:27:13,924 Look at you. I done spent eight hours trying to get my hair straight 2191 01:27:14,098 --> 01:27:15,795 and then you gonna mess it up? 2192 01:27:16,405 --> 01:27:18,407 Damn you! [stutters] Excuse me, Lord. 2193 01:27:18,581 --> 01:27:20,931 [upbeat music] 2194 01:27:22,324 --> 01:27:25,544 -[rock music] -♪ So, are you ready for the big time? ♪ 2195 01:27:27,067 --> 01:27:29,331 ♪ Ready for the spotlight... ♪ 2196 01:27:29,505 --> 01:27:34,466 Oh, shit! 2197 01:27:34,640 --> 01:27:36,903 That's right. It's me, your sinister minister. 2198 01:27:37,077 --> 01:27:38,557 It's Güero! 2199 01:27:38,731 --> 01:27:40,603 Welcome to the Church of Anything Goes. 2200 01:27:40,777 --> 01:27:42,953 I'm gonna be your pastor of disaster. 2201 01:27:43,127 --> 01:27:46,565 Brothers and sisters, this is the Church of Anything Goes! 2202 01:27:46,739 --> 01:27:49,786 ♪ So, are you ready for the big time... ♪ 2203 01:27:51,614 --> 01:27:54,181 [Güero] That's right. So, have a good time there at home. 2204 01:27:54,356 --> 01:27:57,663 Watch this holy show and take out your wallets. 2205 01:27:57,837 --> 01:28:00,492 Yeah! 2206 01:28:02,320 --> 01:28:04,627 -[soft music] -Hello, friends. I am Pablo Valenzuela, 2207 01:28:04,801 --> 01:28:06,977 the inventor of Pablo's Pillows. 2208 01:28:07,151 --> 01:28:08,935 Now, before you turn the channel, 2209 01:28:09,109 --> 01:28:11,024 you're gonna say to yourself, "I'm up to here with pillows. 2210 01:28:11,198 --> 01:28:12,983 What's this? Everybody's got a pillow." 2211 01:28:13,157 --> 01:28:14,289 My pillows are different. 2212 01:28:14,463 --> 01:28:15,725 These pillows are made 2213 01:28:15,899 --> 01:28:18,467 right here in America by Americans. 2214 01:28:18,641 --> 01:28:20,469 Some of you are saying, "Wait a minute, Pablo. 2215 01:28:20,643 --> 01:28:23,646 Are they made overseas by Chinese slave labor?" 2216 01:28:23,820 --> 01:28:25,517 No, Karen, no. 2217 01:28:25,691 --> 01:28:27,214 These are made right here in America 2218 01:28:27,389 --> 01:28:29,129 with American slave labor. 2219 01:28:29,304 --> 01:28:30,261 Don't take my word for it. 2220 01:28:30,435 --> 01:28:32,132 Let's go to some testimonials. 2221 01:28:32,307 --> 01:28:33,612 Pablo changed my life. 2222 01:28:33,786 --> 01:28:35,875 Pablo's Pillows will save you. 2223 01:28:36,049 --> 01:28:37,877 My neck don't hurt no more, but let me tell you something. 2224 01:28:38,051 --> 01:28:40,837 I ain't slap a bitch in three days. 2225 01:28:41,011 --> 01:28:42,839 Not one-- Bitches, have I slapped you? 2226 01:28:43,013 --> 01:28:44,623 -[woman 1] No. -[woman 2] No! 2227 01:28:45,363 --> 01:28:46,886 Pablo's Pillows, baby. 2228 01:28:47,060 --> 01:28:48,758 Stop slapping bitches. 2229 01:28:49,280 --> 01:28:52,501 I go this way... [speaks in Spanish] And I feel good, homie. 2230 01:28:52,675 --> 01:28:55,242 And check, and check this out. Boom, peeky-boo. [whistles] 2231 01:28:55,417 --> 01:28:57,027 They're there to comfort me, homie. 2232 01:28:57,201 --> 01:28:58,594 And sometimes they get a little hard, 2233 01:28:58,768 --> 01:29:00,770 so, yeah, you soften 'em up like that, 2234 01:29:00,944 --> 01:29:02,511 and they give the love back, homie. 2235 01:29:02,685 --> 01:29:04,121 And even when my lady's like, 2236 01:29:04,295 --> 01:29:05,862 "Hey, I don't wanna talk to you right now," 2237 01:29:06,036 --> 01:29:07,211 I'm like, "Well, I don't wanna talk to you either, 2238 01:29:07,385 --> 01:29:08,908 'cause I have Pablo's Pillows anyway." 2239 01:29:09,082 --> 01:29:11,041 And it's like a second honeymoon to me 2240 01:29:11,215 --> 01:29:13,435 because I have something to do on the flight. 2241 01:29:13,957 --> 01:29:15,698 -Thank you, Pablo. -Thank you, Pablo's Pillows. 2242 01:29:18,091 --> 01:29:19,658 [music concludes] 2243 01:29:21,834 --> 01:29:23,836 [choir vocalizing] 2244 01:29:30,930 --> 01:29:33,150 [upbeat music] 2245 01:29:49,253 --> 01:29:51,081 ♪ Gather around all you lonely souls ♪ 2246 01:29:51,255 --> 01:29:53,649 ♪ Take a look at my pretty watch ♪ 2247 01:29:53,823 --> 01:29:55,694 ♪ Yeah, it's made of heaven's gold ♪ 2248 01:29:55,868 --> 01:29:57,957 ♪ Got a cherry right there on top ♪ 2249 01:29:58,131 --> 01:30:00,395 ♪ You say you wanna take a holy vacation ♪ 2250 01:30:00,569 --> 01:30:02,658 ♪ But how much you gonna spend? ♪ 2251 01:30:02,832 --> 01:30:04,703 ♪ But listen to me a second I can promise you ♪ 2252 01:30:04,877 --> 01:30:07,314 ♪ Salvation in the end ♪ 2253 01:30:07,489 --> 01:30:09,404 ♪ Why you wanna even try and put your price ♪ 2254 01:30:09,578 --> 01:30:11,971 ♪ On your eternal life? ♪ 2255 01:30:12,145 --> 01:30:13,843 ♪ Baby, let me give you some of my advice ♪ 2256 01:30:14,017 --> 01:30:15,888 ♪ They're gonna help you see the light ♪ 2257 01:30:16,062 --> 01:30:17,890 ♪ You've got to gimme gimme, gimme, gimme ♪ 2258 01:30:18,064 --> 01:30:21,154 ♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme gimme, gimme what I need ♪ 2259 01:30:21,328 --> 01:30:23,287 ♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme ♪ 2260 01:30:23,461 --> 01:30:25,724 ♪ Gimme, gimme everything ♪ 2261 01:30:30,120 --> 01:30:31,077 [song ends] 2262 01:30:31,251 --> 01:30:33,297 [upbeat music] 2263 01:30:36,735 --> 01:30:39,303 ♪ Put your hands together one time, uh-huh ♪ 2264 01:30:39,477 --> 01:30:41,305 -♪ Redemption ♪ -♪ Uh! ♪ 2265 01:30:41,479 --> 01:30:43,350 -♪ Redemption ♪ -♪ Whoo ♪ 2266 01:30:43,525 --> 01:30:45,178 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2267 01:30:45,657 --> 01:30:47,485 -♪ Redemption ♪ -♪ Let's go ♪ 2268 01:30:47,659 --> 01:30:49,531 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2269 01:30:49,705 --> 01:30:51,663 ♪ You're mending my heart ♪ 2270 01:30:51,837 --> 01:30:53,839 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2271 01:30:54,013 --> 01:30:55,885 ♪ I gotta get started ♪ 2272 01:30:56,059 --> 01:30:57,930 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2273 01:30:58,104 --> 01:31:00,106 ♪ I'm free to be me ♪ 2274 01:31:00,280 --> 01:31:02,065 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2275 01:31:02,239 --> 01:31:04,894 ♪ I wanna be, got to be ♪ 2276 01:31:05,938 --> 01:31:08,463 ♪ Took a couple of wrong turns, maybe ♪ 2277 01:31:08,637 --> 01:31:12,771 ♪ But I had to figure out what wrong to take from ♪ 2278 01:31:13,598 --> 01:31:15,470 ♪ Which is the wrong route? ♪ 2279 01:31:16,906 --> 01:31:20,866 ♪ 'Cause I know just what you're thinking is crazy ♪ 2280 01:31:21,040 --> 01:31:24,304 ♪ See, I've had my share of downs ♪ 2281 01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:27,220 ♪ Been through the ins and the outs ♪ 2282 01:31:27,394 --> 01:31:29,919 ♪ Ups and downs ♪ 2283 01:31:30,093 --> 01:31:33,139 ♪ Give it just a little more time ♪ 2284 01:31:33,313 --> 01:31:34,619 ♪ Oh ♪ 2285 01:31:34,793 --> 01:31:36,055 ♪ And I promise ♪ 2286 01:31:36,708 --> 01:31:39,537 -♪ It'll all work out ♪ -♪ Redemption ♪ 2287 01:31:39,711 --> 01:31:41,321 ♪ You're mending my heart ♪ 2288 01:31:41,496 --> 01:31:43,933 -♪ Mending my heart ♪ -♪ Redemption ♪ 2289 01:31:44,107 --> 01:31:46,022 -♪ I got a new start ♪ -♪ Got a new start ♪ 2290 01:31:46,196 --> 01:31:48,111 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2291 01:31:48,285 --> 01:31:50,374 -♪ I'm free to be me ♪ -♪ Free to be me ♪ 2292 01:31:50,548 --> 01:31:52,289 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2293 01:31:52,463 --> 01:31:54,944 -♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ I wanna be, got to be ♪ 2294 01:31:55,510 --> 01:31:58,556 ♪ Haven't always made the right choices ♪ 2295 01:31:58,730 --> 01:32:02,038 ♪ But you know I put in all of my time ♪ 2296 01:32:02,778 --> 01:32:05,563 ♪ Now I gotta find my way out ♪ 2297 01:32:05,737 --> 01:32:08,174 ♪ Before I go out, huh ♪ 2298 01:32:08,348 --> 01:32:10,960 ♪ Out of my mind ♪ 2299 01:32:11,134 --> 01:32:14,311 ♪ See, I've had my share of doubts ♪ 2300 01:32:14,485 --> 01:32:17,053 ♪ Been through the ins and the outs ♪ 2301 01:32:17,227 --> 01:32:20,143 ♪ The ups and downs ♪ 2302 01:32:20,317 --> 01:32:24,060 ♪ Give me just a little more time ♪ 2303 01:32:24,626 --> 01:32:27,716 ♪ And I promise it'll all work out ♪ 2304 01:32:27,890 --> 01:32:29,718 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2305 01:32:29,892 --> 01:32:31,894 ♪ You're mending my heart ♪ 2306 01:32:32,068 --> 01:32:33,983 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2307 01:32:34,157 --> 01:32:36,028 ♪ I got a new start ♪ 2308 01:32:36,202 --> 01:32:38,117 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2309 01:32:38,291 --> 01:32:40,206 ♪ I'm free to be me ♪ 2310 01:32:40,380 --> 01:32:42,339 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2311 01:32:42,513 --> 01:32:44,471 ♪ I wanna be, got to be ♪ 2312 01:32:44,646 --> 01:32:46,386 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2313 01:32:46,561 --> 01:32:48,563 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2314 01:32:48,737 --> 01:32:50,652 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2315 01:32:50,826 --> 01:32:52,697 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2316 01:32:52,871 --> 01:32:54,830 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2317 01:32:55,004 --> 01:32:56,962 ♪ You're mending my heart ♪ 2318 01:32:57,136 --> 01:32:58,834 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2319 01:32:59,008 --> 01:33:01,097 ♪ I got a new start ♪ 2320 01:33:01,271 --> 01:33:03,229 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2321 01:33:03,403 --> 01:33:05,275 ♪ I'm free to be me ♪ 2322 01:33:05,449 --> 01:33:07,364 ♪ Redemption ♪ 2323 01:33:07,538 --> 01:33:10,106 ♪ I wanna be, got to be ♪ 2324 01:33:24,294 --> 01:33:25,600 [song fades] 2325 01:33:25,774 --> 01:33:28,472 ["Gotta Serve Somebody" by Bob Dylan] 2326 01:33:36,959 --> 01:33:41,746 ♪ You might be an ambassador to England or France ♪ 2327 01:33:42,268 --> 01:33:47,752 ♪ You might like to gamble You might like to dance ♪ 2328 01:33:47,926 --> 01:33:52,583 ♪ You might be the heavyweight champion of the world ♪ 2329 01:33:52,757 --> 01:33:57,240 ♪ You might be a socialite with a long string of pearls ♪ 2330 01:33:57,414 --> 01:34:00,330 ♪ But you're gonna have to serve somebody ♪ 2331 01:34:00,504 --> 01:34:02,593 ♪ Serve somebody ♪ 2332 01:34:02,767 --> 01:34:05,596 ♪ You got to serve somebody ♪ 2333 01:34:05,770 --> 01:34:07,729 ♪ Serve somebody ♪ 2334 01:34:07,903 --> 01:34:10,688 ♪ Well, it might be the Devil ♪ 2335 01:34:10,862 --> 01:34:12,864 ♪ Or it should be the Lord ♪ 2336 01:34:13,038 --> 01:34:16,128 ♪ And you're gonna have to serve somebody ♪ 2337 01:34:16,302 --> 01:34:19,001 ♪ Serve somebody ♪ 2338 01:34:19,175 --> 01:34:21,656 ♪ You might live on a mountaintop ♪ 2339 01:34:21,830 --> 01:34:23,962 ♪ You might be from flats ♪ 2340 01:34:24,571 --> 01:34:29,620 ♪ You might be a gangster boy wearing baseball caps ♪ 2341 01:34:29,794 --> 01:34:32,231 ♪ They might call you widow ♪ 2342 01:34:32,405 --> 01:34:34,886 ♪ They might call you scar ♪ 2343 01:34:35,060 --> 01:34:37,802 ♪ You just might be covered with tattoos ♪ 2344 01:34:37,976 --> 01:34:39,674 ♪ All over your arm ♪ 2345 01:34:39,848 --> 01:34:42,764 ♪ But you're still gonna have to serve somebody ♪ 2346 01:34:42,938 --> 01:34:43,982 ♪ Serve somebody ♪ 2347 01:34:44,156 --> 01:34:45,723 ♪ No matter where you're from ♪ 2348 01:34:45,897 --> 01:34:47,812 ♪ You're gonna serve somebody ♪ 2349 01:34:47,986 --> 01:34:49,988 ♪ Serve somebody ♪ 2350 01:34:50,162 --> 01:34:52,904 ♪ Well, it might be the Devil ♪ 2351 01:34:53,078 --> 01:34:55,080 ♪ Or it should be the Lord ♪ 2352 01:34:55,254 --> 01:34:58,257 ♪ And you're gonna have to serve somebody ♪ 2353 01:34:58,431 --> 01:34:59,302 [song ends] 163618