Original subtitles

Can I help you?

I'm just browsing.

Thanks.

What's wrong with you?

Jesus.

You've possibly found an apartment on the second floor instead of the fifth.

Why didn't you take the elevator?

I wasn't working.

Again.

And that guy who works here, he's always somewhere and just hanging out.

Oh, John?

Harmless.

So dramatic.

Maybe.

You're freaking me out.

We're getting a new apartment when you're done with school.

I am not walking up five flights of stairs forever.

You're so cute.

I could just eat you up.

Five minutes and we'll go, okay?

Okay. Five minutes.

Hurry up.

We have some serious shopping to do.

Oh, I ran into Amy Pringle today.

Remember her?

We met her last summer. Over at Joe's.

Cute.

Crop hair.

Biggie.

She's going out with that lawyer, Patrick.

Anyway, she's pregnant and she's keeping it. Can you believe that?

Jesus, the kid's the last thing I would want right now.

And he's so gross. I can't figure out why she has sex with him.

Maybe he has a really big cock.

Would you mind closing the... The door, when you use the bathroom, it's not very

ladylike.

Really? And who said I was a lady?

Are you done yet?

It's so annoying.

Trent!

Hey, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that.

Sorry about the elevator, dude. It's this old building. It just got a lot of

quirks, you know?

It's okay.

Hey, I put a check in the mail for you. You should get it in a few days.

Nice, nice. Thank you.

I appreciate that.

So, how are you doing?

You're getting hit soon, right?

Five weeks. Five weeks.

My old lady and I have been together for 20 years.

Married for 16.

Lived our first four years in sin.

I got to tell you, those are the best four years of my life, huh?

I need to ask you a favor, Trent.

Sure. Yeah, all right.

It's my father -in -law.

I got to find him a place to stay.

I don't... It'd just be for maybe two or three days at the most.

Listen, I make it worth your while. I don't know, Mr. Morris.

You're getting married.

What if I give you two months' rent for free?

Okay?

You need the money. Come on. You're getting married for Christ's sake.

I don't know, Mr. Morris. I don't even know him.

Why doesn't he stay with you?

Well, my wife and him, they don't get along so well.

Listen, I can help you here, okay? But you've got to help me back.

All right?

He's a good guy.

What do you say? Can you help me out?

I love you.

Yeah?

You better watch it, Buster.

You're in trouble.

Am I getting into trouble?

Yeah.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

What?

The rings we picked out today.

Are you sure you can afford them?

They're very, very beautiful.

But they're expensive.

You know my parents were more than willing to help.

I know.

I know they are.

They're already paying for everything.

I know. I know, baby. I just... I don't want you to have the extra stress.

I need to do this.

It'll only be hard for a few months, and then I'll have graduated.

Interesting.

I can't.

I can't do that.

We've talked about this.

I know.

You know how I feel about that.

I know, baby, but we're going to be married in just a couple weeks.

What would it hurt?

Who would know?

I would know.

I get it.

Don't leave.

Tell me you want me.

I want you.

Tell me you want to be inside me.

An employee will sign me at home.

We need the money. Hey, I know you're there.

He's a good guy.

Hey, you know what the best thing is about fucking 25 -year -olds is?

I don't know.

There's 20 of them.

I'm Fred.

Marvin.

It's nice to meet you, Marvin.

Listen, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't smoke in here.

Okay?

Please don't touch my thing.

Oh, yeah, your girlfriend called. She said she was sorry about last night and

that you should call her.

But you don't believe in sex? Could you please?

I'm trying to hear this. Maybe we should try and explore.

I don't know. Anyway, I'm sorry I offended you. Call me when you get this.

see you in a couple days.

Okay?

Ciao.

Hey, why don't they have sex ed and drivers ed in Mexico on the same day?

It's too hard on the fucking donkeys.

Have you ever been to a donkey show?

No. Really?

It's something else.

You ought to check it out sometime.

Yeah.

Yeah, I understand.

It's okay. I'm not mad at you. You just... You just had a little too much

drink, and you were happy.

I was happy, too.

I mean, you know, I still am.

I gotta go.

Let me call you back.

No, no, no, no, no. Let me just call you back, okay?

Okay?

Excuse me.

Could you please flush?

It's kind of gross.

Oh, sorry.

Was that your old lady?

You know, the chick from last night, the one that wants to bang you.

That's my fiancée, Jackie.

So, uh...

And this girl, she's your fiancee.

You haven't fucked her?

I don't believe in sex before marriage.

What? Are you kidding me?

Well, wait a minute. So you're telling me that your fiancee is begging you to

fuck her and you won't do it?

I believe that if we really love each other, then we should wait.

So you're a Jesus freak?

No, I'm not a...

Jesus freak.

I was raised very religious, but I'm not religious now.

What do you mean you're not religious?

You won't fuck until you're married? The only people I know like that are

religious.

What kind of job are you getting?

I'm almost done with law school.

Just what the world needs, another fucking lawyer.

So what do you get when you send a prostitute to law school?

I don't know. What?

I fucking know it all.

What can a goose do, a duck can't, a lawyer should?

I'm not sure.

Stick his bill up his ass.

So what's the deal with all the cars?

It's morning, isn't it?

I don't know.

Something I started doing when I was a kid.

Dad gave me the first one.

Oh, thanks.

You don't smoke weed?

Kind of a trippy fucker, aren't you?

You don't smoke weed, you don't drink, you don't fuck.

What do you do for fun?

You clean the house?

Well, uh, I better get going.

There's class in a moment.

So I guess I'll see you later.

Hello, we are not available now. Please leave your name and phone number after

the beep.

We will return your call.

Hello? Is anyone home?

Trent, you screening a call?

Jesus, I wish you'd get a cell phone.

So, I just got in from New York and I wanted to see you.

I won't be there for a little while, maybe 30.

Sorry, I was looking for Trent.

You must be Jackie.

Yeah. You're even more beautiful than Trent described.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, I don't know who you are. Oh, excuse me. My name is Marvin, and

Trent's been gracious enough to let me stay with him for a few days.

Just between you and me, I'm in between home.

But please come in. You're welcomed away.

Trent just stepped out for a moment.

We could have a glass of wine.

It's rare that I get the company of such a beautiful lady.

Sure.

Yeah.

So you mean to say that you were selling diamonds in Vietnam to the guys in the

jungle? Yeah.

Exactly.

But I made good money.

All I had to do was go out there on the field with those guys and tell them they

needed to send something to their girls back home.

And that was it.

A lot of them didn't believe they were going to be coming back home anyway, so

if they could send something beautiful to their girls back home, it made it a

little better.

Can you understand that?

Yeah. Yeah, I understand.

It just seems kind of fucked up.

Oh, that whole conflict was fucked up.

Yeah, well, all of it was fucked up. Yeah.

One more?

Go ahead.

Gracias.

You know how to salsa.

Would you like to dance?

¿Se habla español?

Well, si.

You speak Spanish also?

Por supuesto.

I'm fluent in five languages.

Five languages?

Wow. Which one?

Oops.

Sorry, I'm a little rusty here.

You're a very good dancer.

You dance much?

I used to dance.

I do go out with my girlfriend sometimes.

You and Tress seem to be very different.

Yeah, he grounds me.

I was pretty wild.

Does that make sense?

I guess if you want to be grounded.

I mean, how long have you two been engaged?

Three months. We've been together for six.

Six? You've been together for six months? Then you're going to get

I know.

Pretty well myself getting married, to be honest.

Well, everybody should be married once, I guess.

Have you ever been married?

Yeah, I was married once.

You mind if I get a drag? No, not at all.

Thank you.

Wow.

Don't tell Trent.

All your secrets, secretly.

I don't usually smoke, but... At times like this, I enjoy a drag

or two.

I can understand that.

Where's that weed?

You smoke that? I love to smoke pot.

I love to smoke pot.

Well, I have some. You want to smoke some with me?

Really? You have some here?

Well, if not here, it's in the Batcave.

But I can get to it quickly.

You're a very interesting fellow, Marvin.

Adventurer, dancer, you speak five languages, crime fighter.

Any more surprises?

Maybe. You don't even know.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll retreat to the Batcave to retrieve the secret

weapon. Oh, please, be my guest.

I have one for you.

Okay.

So, what is green, green,

wet, and smells like pig?

Oh, uh,

uh, just a big green slimy pig?

No, Kermit the Frog's pig.

That's a good one.

That reminds me of one.

You know, you can tell who your best friend is, you know, by if you take your

dog and your wife and you stick them in the trunk of your car for about a couple

hours, you let them out.

You'll find out who your best friend is.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

No fucking clue.

Quarter pounder with cheese. No.

You did not just say that. You're going to have to call McDonald's this time.

I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.

Oh, no.

No.

Oh, man.

You're bad.

So we're going to do this again and I'm going to come armed with better joke

material. Well, that sounds great. You know, we'll have a joke off.

Okay.

But next time we got to have Trent here.

Trent.

I got in from New York, and I wanted to see you, but I was calling to tell you

that I'm on my way over, and I have a surprise for you.

Hey, babe,

I just got your message.

Sorry I was out studying.

Anyway, looks like you had a pretty good time over here.

I can see you met my new house guest.

Hope he didn't scare you too bad.

Anyway, I'd love to see you.

See what kind of surprise you have for me.

Let's maybe have lunch tomorrow.

Anyway, give me a call when you get this and we'll figure it out. Okay? Bye.

Where were you yesterday afternoon?

I was studying.

Oh, hey, that's a coincidence. I was studying, too.

You know what I was studying?

I was studying your fiancée's sweet ass.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that girl is fine.

Hey, you don't mind if I take her out for a test drive, do you?

You know what they say.

Use it or lose it, right?

Hey, hey, you know what?

I can keep her tuned up for you. How about that?

Huh?

Shot of whiskey and a beer. Chaser.

I can't be any more explicit right now.

Explicit? What the hell does that mean?

To, like, form the stuff that I'm thinking and saying.

Until, you know... That's what's known as a generous pour.

I'm trying to get the cobwebs out.

That's a good thing to get rid of.

Salud.

I'll keep you company for a little while.

Yeah. What's your name? One more of those.

I'm Norman Decker.

Joe.

Joe, good cut.

I like that James Bond.

Remember James Bond? He used to say Bond.

James Bond.

Right, right, right, right. I'm trying to be cool.

That's kind of a cool name.

Nice to meet you, Joe. You know, I always like to know the name of the man

served me in race.

Give it back. Give it back. You've got to get up there. Give it back. Give it

back.

Okay, cowboy.

So what's your story?

Is it always this slow?

Oh, it picks up after a while.

Starts out usually.

Yeah.

There you go, buddy. You're ready.

You have to deal with Marvin.

Well, he's staying with me for a few days.

Yeah, I know. But why?

You're not really the kind of guy who invites random strangers to live with

Yeah, it wasn't really my idea. He's kind of forced on me.

How is he forced on you?

I'm doing my landlord a favor.

Marvin is his father -in -law.

So why is he staying with you and not your landlord?

I'm really not sure, to be honest.

Well, he's a very interesting man.

Did you know that he was thrown overboard in a storm and he was floating

ocean for six days before they found him?

Yeah, he told me that.

There's no way.

What do you mean, there's no way?

I mean, there's no way that he could have survived for six days in the ocean

a life vat.

He didn't have water.

He can't live for six days without water.

How do you know he had no water?

Because there's no water on a life vest.

Okay? Maybe on a raft.

Not on a life vest.

I know there's no water on a fucking vest. You don't have to talk to me like

a child.

What I want to know is how you know that he had no water.

No, but... You assumed.

And in the process, you decided he's a liar and that I'm stupid for believing

him. I don't know that it's like that.

It's just... It's deductive reasoning.

So you deduct it. Then he's a liar and I'm stupid, right?

I wouldn't... Oh, I mean, I wouldn't put it like that.

He tells these fanciful stories.

And then when you look at the facts, it doesn't add up.

Why are you defending him anyway? I'm defending him because I had a wonderful

time with him the other day.

I mean, he's charming, he's handsome, he's well -spoken. He told me he knew

to salsa. He was actually really good.

He speaks five languages.

Don't fucking interrupt me.

I'm talking.

I'm a little drunk.

I'm going to go home.

Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going? You think you're overreacting a little?

I'm going home. There are things I need to think about. Wait.

Please.

She's an amazing artist.

Excuse me?

I was saying she's an amazing artist.

Oh, I wouldn't know.

I have a friend who's a photographer, so I was just looking for books for her.

Oh, I see, I see.

You know, you look very familiar.

I think I've seen you before. My name is Paul Oakley.

John Harris.

I know where I know you from. You work the night desk at the Ambassador, right?

I go there with friends from time to time to go to the lounge.

Oh, right.

Right.

All right. Well, I kind of got to get going.

It was really nice to meet you.

Paul. Trent, right?

Yes.

Yes.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

I'm sure I'll see you around.

Well, what are you doing now?

I have to meet a friend in a little bit.

There's a wine bar right around the corner, a place I want to try.

Do you like wine?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like wine.

Great. Why don't you join me if you have time?

Sure, sure, sure.

I can't stay all that long.

Great. We'll just drop in and check the place out. Be spontaneous.

Sound fun? Yeah.

Great. Sounds good. Great.

Aren't you going to get the book?

No, um, no.

I'll come back and grab it later.

Let's try something.

Excuse me, man.

Really?

Hold on a second.

Mmm.

Tiene leche dulce.

Oh, yeah.

Mi Dios.

And you?

What about you?

What about your parents? Are they from here?

All right.

My

parents

were still in the car.

My dad was a pastor.

We were out of

home on a few dinner dates.

Drunk driving.

Sorry, you don't want to hear this.

Actually, thank you.

Um... Okay, uh, I better get going.

You aren't going to finish your one?

No, no, I think I've had enough.

Um, I stayed longer than I expected.

I have an appointment I'm going to be late for, so... If you'll excuse me. I

understand.

No, no, no, no. I've got it.

I can't let you do that. No, no, no. It's not a problem.

You can get the next one.

Okay.

I got the next one.

Great. Have a good day.

Um, like, I'll see you around.

Hey, I'll, uh, stop by and talk to you.

Yeah. I go there with friends anyhow.

Cool. That sounds great.

See you later.

Marvin? You in there?

My daughter.

That's your girl?

Yeah.

She's like that right now, but there she was about

10 or 11.

I haven't seen her. I haven't seen her.

I don't know. I had a look at myself.

It was an accident. When's the

last time you saw her? It was a fucking accident.

I don't know. Three years.

Who's counting?

I'm counting. I'm asking you. When's the last time you saw her?

I think like three years.

If this is concerning an apartment you can call five five five seven five three

eight or leave a message So

Guess who I sold her to?

I'm wondering, did you guys split up?

Because she was with this guy, and

let's just say that they weren't acting like they were just friends, you know?

If you know what I mean.

Black Pockets on this.

I'm sorry about the way I acted the other night. No, don't be.

Yes, it was completely inappropriate of me to blast out at you this time.

And I apologize.

I have somewhat of a temper, especially when I drink. And I think the whole

wedding thing was dripping me out a little bit. It's okay.

I thought about it all week.

I don't know. I don't want to lose you.

And I'd like to try and make it work if you need one.

Of course I want to try.

I love that you are authentic.

And that you lose your temper sometimes.

It's who you are.

So, should we go ahead with the wedding?

Of course.

Well, thank you.

I mean, I've waited six months to get into your pants.

Do you really think I'm going to fail now?

I love you.

And our wedding night's going to be one that you never forget.

Me either.

Okay, well, I'm going to go on Thursday.

I'll go home, help my mom get everything ready.

There's so much to do. I still have to get my dress and pick out a cake, and I

don't know, just make sure that everything's perfect.

But I'll call you, and dinner things are coming when you're in.

Remember to get your suit.

Don't forget the ring.

Don't worry.

I'll remember the ring.

And my suit. Yeah.

Okay. I thought I needed one.

I'm doing fine.

You?

Trent? Hey.

Well, I'm great. I sold a picture yesterday.

Oh, that's great.

Congratulations.

Bye.

Trent and I are celebrating.

You want to join us?

There's beer in the fridge.

Sure. I don't mind if I do.

So, you sold a picture.

Mm -hmm.

Cheers.

Thank you.

Trent, do you have something for this? I don't want to get ashes on the floor.

So packing, where are you going?

I'm leaving tomorrow.

I'm sorry, I thought I told you this. Thank you.

You don't have to apologize to him. It's none of his business.

Oh, Trent.

It's okay.

So what are you guys, where are you going for your honeymoon?

Costa Rica.

Wow, that's great. I love Costa Rica.

Where? What city?

We're going to go all over.

I'm going to use this as a way to get new material for this show I'm doing

I get back.

I lived there in the 70s.

It was amazing.

Boy, that was quite a while back.

It's amazing how time flows.

Big storm coming.

Hold on a second. I want to get you something.

I don't know what's wrong with you.

Why are you acting so strange?

He's not acting normal.

I don't know.

He's not usually this polite.

He usually is with me. Maybe you get on his nerves or something. Oh, I get on

his nerves?

He's living in my fucking apartment.

I found this stone in Costa Rica.

I don't remember exactly where.

I was traveling up the coast, surfing and camping out.

Hiding out, really.

I was in this really bad spot in my life.

I had just lost my wife, and in some sense, I guess I was trying to kill

Anyway, I had a geologist friend of mine.

Check it out.

He told me that there's only one place in the world

that has stone of that nature.

Ethiopia.

So what's the point?

Why are you telling us all this?

The point is I'm giving it to Jackie.

Why?

Well, that stone's given me a lot of good luck.

It's time to pass it on.

And you, you know, you remind me of my wife.

That same zest for life.

That same spark.

La misma pasión por la vida.

Oh my God, that's really sweet, but I can't take it.

It's your lucky stone.

No, you have no choice.

It's my wedding gift to you.

Wow, that's the sweetest gift anyone has ever given me.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to use the restroom.

Be careful. Be careful.

You're so fucking full of shit.

I might be, but I'm never going to tell you.

You're doing the back.

Trying to do the back.

I can't really know.

I got nothing left. I got

nothing left. I got nothing left. It's all gone.

It's all gone. I got nothing left. I got nothing left.

She's gone. She got run over. I got nothing left.

Where did you get that fucking asshole?

Where did you get that asshole?

What?

You know me. You'll find out what the hell.

Yeah, I know.

I told you. Remember what I said? It still goes what I said.

You get one little fucking inkling of anything.

Can I get one more beer?

Fucking dirty bastard.

Fuck!

Oh

shit!

Well, I bet you that looked stupid.

Come

on,

baby. Come on, baby.

Hell, you'll figure one.

What?

You heard me.

You've got a great name here.

I wish I was 30 years younger.

You need to take care of her.

No! I don't fucking care you don't, do you?

Huh?

You're not, are you?

I mean, what the fuck are you letting this asshole steal your girl for?

I'm sick of hearing about this.

It's none of your business. You're just a fucking drunk. Yeah, well, I might be

a fucking drunk, but at least I'm honest about it.

Huh? What are you?

Lying cocksucker?

Your whole fucking life is a fucking lie and you fucking know it.

I know what you are.

You don't fool me. You might fool everybody else, but you don't fool me.

36 years.

Wow, this is really clean.

Thank you.

No problem.

Jackie called, and she wanted me to tell you that she's going to call you

sometime tomorrow morning.

All right, thanks.

I'm going to go soak in the tub, chill to the bone.

Hey Trent.

You look cleaner.

I'm nodding.

Nice.

So what are you celebrating? You finally find a home and take it?

That was a good one.

Grab a glass and I'll tell you.

Oh, no, no, no. That's all right. Oh, come on.

What's the matter? Why is this? You don't like scotch?

Actually, I really enjoy scotch.

Well, then grab a glass.

We're celebrating.

Okay.

I want to apologize for the way I've treated you.

Cheers.

November 12, 1972.

Okay.

So, what's that, the end of the Vietnam War?

No, it's the day I killed my wife.

You killed your wife?

In a manner of speaking, yeah. I was drunk and high.

Ran the car off the road.

She was thrown from it and killed instantly.

Jesus.

How horrible.

It was.

She was that perfect light.

I never found another like her.

Mr. Morris mentioned that you were his father -in -law.

So that would mean that you have a daughter.

Yeah, Katie.

She was with the sitter that night.

And you and her don't get along?

Not really.

After Abby died, I went into this really, really dark place.

And I wasn't fit to be a father, and I put her up for adoption.

She was 10.

We got together a couple years ago. We reunited, and she still hasn't forgiven

me for abandoning her and killing her mother.

And I can't say that I blame her.

That's a pretty awful thing to go through at 10 years old.

Horrible thing to go through at any age.

Yeah, you're right.

Jackie reminds me a lot of Abby.

She's got that same zest for life, you know?

So, every year since 1972, you drink a bottle of scotch in her

memory?

Yeah.

But, you know,

I'm almost always with somebody else.

And this year, it's you.

Cheers to new wives.

And lots, lots.

So, there's this old maid.

She wants to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat.

She gets up on the bus, and she says to the driver, I've got a dead pussy.

The driver looks at her, points to the seat behind him, and says, why don't you

sit down there with my wife? You've got a lot in common.

So...

Come

on, spin on it.

Okay. Like that. Yeah, there you go.

It's really good.

Yeah,

I got my Vegas tricks right.

Oh, no, no, no. I don't know any.

Oh, come on. You've got to know one.

No, I mean, I really don't. Oh, don't be such a pussy.

Come on.

Okay.

Not very good.

I don't care. Just tell me a joke. Okay.

Right?

So the Pope is making his way down the line. They stop.

And he leans over.

He says,

I told you yesterday to get the fuck out of here.

Out of the back of your head.

Oh, yeah. With all that lawyer shit coming out.

Yeah.

I gotta go to bed.

Hey,

have a good time with him.

Thanks, man.

Hey, you're welcome.

You're a good guy, Trent. Yeah.

You're all right.

What would it hurt?

What the fuck?

Fuck. I'm sorry.

Trent, what the fuck are you doing in my bed?

I'm sorry. It was an accident.

I'm sorry. It was an accident.

What do you mean it was an accident, you fucking fag?

Don't call me that.

Well, then tell me how it was an accident you were in my bed. I have

dreams sometimes and I just wake up and... Dreams?

You twisted fuck.

You were jacking off. No, no, it's not like that. You were jacking off in my

bed. No, that's not it. No, no, you were jacking off, weren't you?

You're a sick, queer -ass motherfucker.

And I knew it all along. I knew that the only way you could be with her and not

be fucking her is if you were a fag.

Right?

Huh?

Don't call me that. I'm not a fag. Yeah, you are. You're a fag. You're a fag.

I'm going to beat your fucking little faggot ass, and then I'm going to call

your girl and tell her you were beating it in my bed.

Okay? What do you think she's going to think of that, huh? What do you think?

I figured that I'm not going to have to beat you.

I'm going to tell Jackie.

I'm sure she's going

to want to know why.

the best thing about fucking 25 -year -olds is.

Fred, this is Detective Callahan.

Listen, I just need to talk to you for a minute. So if you could open the door,

that would be great.

Fred, I know you're in there. You just looked out the window.

M2 -219, transport is on the way.

Officers on the scene.

Police, open up!

When the road is gone When they tell you

you gotta move along When the sky

is black And they pray for you but you tell them

you're not coming back

I see, I see an angel in disguise

From himself And as creatures we walk this

earth But we can look up, we can look up to the sky

We can look up

Heaven's up above.