Original subtitles

Hey, Nate, where's the tape? Counter.

Um, Nate, why?

Well, it seemed like a pretty normal place to put tape.

Not the tape. The thing.

What, Herbie?

No, don't do that. Don't give it an adorable name.

Why is it here?

Well, someone dropped him off and he needs a home. Isn't that kind of what we

do? I don't do spiders.

I feel like there's a story.

It was Halloween.

I was nine.

Here we go.

On my second lap around Star Falls, I was hauling two pillowcases full of

Two pillowcases?

Hardcore. When someone stepped on the wings of my fly costume, I fell straight

into a spider's web. You were a fly for Halloween?

I was going for a bumblebee, but ran out of yellow.

Gotcha.

Anyway, I didn't really know about the whole spider thing till now, so I'll

take it home until we find a foster family.

In the meantime, we'll get this little guy to sight.

Thanks.

Hey.

Heard Brooks and Cynthia Jones reunion in Starfall?

Oh, yeah, I heard about that. Which means it must be a big deal, because I

about that. What was the movie they were in together?

Love Trapeze.

About two trapeze artists who fell in love and also fell off the trapeze and

hurt. Anyway, it's the movie that made everyone think they'd be a perfect

in real life.

Ah, yeah.

I just watched the part online, but even I could see they had a connection.

Total connection.

But I'm not worried.

I'm sure Craig would way rather date my mom over some super pretty award

-winning actress he had serious sparks with.

Or maybe be worried.

I gotta find Diamond.

Nate, it's out.

Gotta find Diamond, gotta find Diamond, gotta find Diamond.

Ooh, grilled cheese is on special?

No, Sophia, you can have grilled cheese later.

Gotta find timing, gotta find timing, gotta find timing. Gotta find Sophia,

gotta find Sophia, gotta find Sophia.

Gum? Ew!

Seriously, is it that hard to take it out of your mouth and put it in the

Gotta get it off.

Ah! No time!

Gotta find Sophia, gotta find Sophia, gotta find Sophia, gotta find Sophia,

gotta find Sophia.

I've got big news! Cynthia Jones is coming to town!

Okay, we're saying... the same thing, but it doesn't sound like we're saying

same thing. Well, this is bad, right?

Cynthia Jones coming here?

What if she and Craig decide to date?

Well, would that be such a terrible idea?

What? We've been trying to get your dad and my mom together since forever.

We haven't been here that long, so forever is a little bit much. It's our

mission. Our thing.

Yes, but nothing's happened, you know? Maybe, maybe they aren't meant to be

together.

Okay, you have the cutest dad. Thank you, and don't change the subject. Well,

okay, but isn't the subject that we both want our parents to be happy?

Well, I mean, yeah, but... Well, I think Cynthia and my dad would be amazing

together. She's gorgeous, she gets the whole fame thing, and people would love

it if they dated.

Plus, we go to the same virtual spa.

I can't believe this.

Really? Because virtual spas are totally a thing. Not that.

Well, actually, yes, that.

But right now, how can you turn on me like this?

Our parents keep saying they don't want to date, so maybe we should just listen

to them.

But... Well, at least don't do anything to push Cynthia and your dad together.

Um... Sure.

Cynthia!

Craig.

So good to see you.

Cynthia, kisses. These are from my dad.

They are?

Oh, right.

Yes. Here.

Oh.

Oh,

no. There's a bee on these flowers.

I, uh, I think it flew away.

Sometimes parents need a little help.

So we're helping ours get together.

My mom, my best friend.

Her dad, huge movie star.

And things might get a little crazy.

Okay, a lot crazy.

But that's just life in Starfall.

So,

Craig, how long has it been?

It's got to be at least ten years since I, well...

Threw myself off the high wire in a desperate yet futile attempt to catch

Howdy.

Howdy? Star Poles was originally a frontier town full of

cowboys. So we're descended from cow folk, and we say howdy.

Oh! Sorry.

Cynthia, this is Beth and her daughter Sophia. Beth, um, owns the house.

Yep. That's me. Mother of one daughter and owner of one house.

She also owns a gym membership.

But that doesn't matter right now.

How nice for you. So tell me, is there some kind of town law against staying in

hotels here, or...

Anyway, thank you for the flowers. How sweet.

Perhaps we could put them in some water?

Yes, of course.

We have water.

Mom, what are you doing?

No, what are you doing? We gotta put out those sparks.

Look, Craig can have sparks with whoever he wants. I'm not his girlfriend.

Not yet.

Sophia. You can't tell me you don't have feelings for him because you told me

you have feelings for him. Seriously, it's fine.

How many I's were in that fine? Because it sounded like a lot of I's to me,

which means you're... Good. Really. I'm good.

People want to see them together, and maybe they're right. I mean, they are

movie stars, and if they're meant to be, I don't care.

At all.

Mom?

I'm going to pick more flowers out back.

I know Craig and my mom are meant to be, and so Diamond totally needs to back

off with the Cynthia thing.

But I can tell Diamond that mom likes Craig.

Mom swore me the secrecy. And her mother -daughter secret?

Powerful thing.

Like mystic ancient dawn of time powerful.

You're right.

I have to help her whether she wants it or not.

Thanks, Reggie.

You're a good listener.

Don't worry.

Not your first animal therapy session I've walked in on.

Right.

So, you heard... Nothing.

Good. Well, something about Reggie being a good listener, and I agree, very

perky ears.

I'm just here for this guy, who, interesting fact, has no ears.

It's still here?

Nate? Nate is out! Sorry, sorry.

Whoa.

Whoa.

You'd think by page seven I'd get bored.

A pinkie just keeps bringing the magic.

Yo, seen my toolbox?

I think I left it here when I came by to fix everything.

And you think I have it? I'm just a kid. I can't play with tools.

I wasn't accusing you of taking it.

Though now I might.

You're welcome to use my tools.

Whoa! Dude, how about a heads up? Heads up? You're clearly unfamiliar with

downward dog.

Yoga's good for the soul.

You should give it a try.

I'm good.

Happen to see my tools while you're upside down?

No. But the only tools a man ever needs are his mind and spirit.

Uh -huh.

Don't think they'll build that guy a new habitat.

Whoa, a tarantula?

They're creepy, natural cannibals that can make girls scream until they puke.

They're basically my spirit animal.

That's terrifying.

I never thought I'd hear my little brother use the term spirit animal.

I'm so very proud.

Well, this has been unhelpful.

I'm going to take Herbie and go.

Wait.

Where's the spider?

What? All I did was open the cage door, tip the hairy guy out, and... Okay, this

one's on me.

Now, before you get mad... Let me explain.

I know you asked me not to meddle in the whole Cynthia and Dad thing, so I

thought about it a lot.

Then decided I wanted to, so I did. We good?

Yeah, we good.

Really? Really.

You're right about wanting your parents to be happy.

Aw, that is totes awesome.

In fact, I'm here to help you get your dad and Cynthia together.

Seriously? You're the best. Okay, so I was just planning a romantic lunch for

them at the Falling Owl.

Well, as romantic as lunch at a cafe can be.

The Falling Owl? Oh, no, no.

Starfall has way more romantic lunch spots.

And I know the perfect one.

Ooh, where?

Wow, Diamond.

You set this up?

Uh -huh. I thought you two might like a little alone time away from the busy

movie set so you can, you know, reconnect.

Oh, how thoughtful. You know, I've been wondering if this town has a good

restaurant, and now I know.

They don't.

Anyway, I'll leave you to it.

What's that sound?

Never mind the sound. What is that smell?

lost a tarantula in under 30 seconds.

Technically, you lost a tarantula in under 30 seconds.

Well, you let him out.

Come on. You all knew I probably would, so your fault.

Don't worry, I have a plan. I'll mind meld with the arachnid. Really get

its many -eyed head to figure out where it would hide.

That's crazy.

Let's just get another tarantula. What? Why?

Once the first one sees it moving in on its territory, it'll eat it, which would

be wicked.

Yeah, thanks for your suggestions, but...

We just need to trap.

Understood. But one thing. Aren't tarantulas poisonous?

Okay.

Let's do this.

Oh. Hey there, Sophia.

Um, why would you do that?

They released the fish gas, huh?

Fish gas? Yeah, from the fish cleaning hut.

See, when you clean... Clean fish attracts a lot of gross smells, and

to release it.

Did you find it? Nope.

False alarm.

It's a sock, guys. Just a sock.

What is going on? Nothing. Don't worry about it.

Smells like you've got problems of your own.

It wasn't fish gas and you, exactly.

Tell that to my silk chenille.

That's French for really nice and expensive blouse.

I don't think it is.

Look, I'm sorry. I just can't let you get Craig and Cynthia together.

Why? Why is it such a big deal?

Because... Because... Because... Because what?

Because I... I can't say.

You can't say? I can't say that my mom told me that she is crazy into your dad.

Really? And I said it.

But... But that's why I fished out Craig and Cynthia.

And you.

Why didn't you tell me? I promised my mom I wouldn't. And a promise to your

mother means more than being truthful with the beautiful celebrity who moved

into your room two months ago?

Um, yes.

Okay, let's just pause for a second.

So now we can actually get our parents together. That's great.

Exactly.

Except I've been pushing Cynthia and my dad pretty hard.

Exactly. So what are we going to do?

There will probably be more fist gas tonight. No, no more stink. Let's just

it simple.

Hmm.

Ooh, we'll tell them bad stuff about the other.

Then boom, they won't like each other anymore.

I don't know. Sounds kind of mean.

Yeah, you're right.

Got anything else?

No, let's do it. Okay, now what bad things can we say?

Aw, I'm glad we're back to skimming as a team.

Me too.

But I'm still going to rub my fishy shimmy -ca all over your pillow. That's

fair.

Dude, we make a great team.

This spider embracer is awesome.

Team is a strong word, since I built this entirely by myself.

Also, it's a spider trap.

Trap is too negative. I find positivity more conducive to success.

And you'll notice I cozied it up with a faux fur lining.

Uh, pretty sure I told you not to do that.

Anyway, we gotta get moving before Sophia finds out about the spider.

Why? Will she scream until she pukes? Yes, and if you don't help me catch it,

she won't be the only one who pukes.

Releasing debate.

Hey, are those live grasshoppers? Yeah.

Thought I'd keep a stash of dead grasshoppers under my bed.

That'd be weird.

Here, tarantula.

Lunch.

I'm glad we could find some time to hang out.

Yes, it's so nice to spend time with Craig's landlady's daughter.

And why exactly are we spending time together?

Because, you know the old saying.

What old saying?

Exactly.

Okay, well, it must be fun for you having such a big celebrity living in

little town.

Oh, yeah.

Well, except for... No, sorry, I shouldn't say anything.

Anything about what?

It's Craig. It's just... It's so hard to watch him struggle with his...

Obsession.

Obsession?

Obsession with what?

Growing her toenails.

She wants to beat the world record. It kills me to tell you this, but everyone

at the virtual spa knows Cynthia's toenails are super out of control. She

wear socks six sizes too big. Really?

That's odd.

And don't even ask me about his basement sea monkey collection.

I heard she once growled at a puppy.

A blind puppy.

The humming contest?

Claiming. She had it done. Well, we all know that is her original note.

He snores like a donkey.

She's got angry arm syndrome.

Just punches.

Randomly.

Please don't tell Cynthia any of this. She'd be so upset if you knew.

Yes, of course.

Won't say a word.

Do I have to admit?

It's nice to know he's not as perfect as he seems. In a strange way, it makes

him even more attractive.

I think maybe I'll ask her to dinner.

Bo, can you see the tarantula?

Nope. Not in the crawlspace.

Hey, wait.

What's that?

Oh, no. There it is.

You okay?

Wait.

You're... Fine.

The spider wasn't in there.

But I did see a sweet trampoline. And some cans of our danger that looked like

fun. Oh, and a fly costume.

Well, that went badly.

Totes badly.

That was fun.

I'm glad we went out someplace with fresh air. Fresher, at least.

I hope you can stick around.

We could watch a movie.

I'd like that.

It's okay. As long as it's an action movie and not a romantic comedy. How

a romantic comedy?

Perfect. I love romantic comedies. No!

Did you hear something?

I'm in luck to contact. We were looking for it.

You don't wear contacts.

That's why we couldn't find it.

Gotta go.

We need to talk.

Okay, what do we need to talk about? You gotta tell Craig how you feel.

Not in front of I'm in to die.

No, it's fine. I already know you confessed your undying love for my dad.

so exciting.

Also, Pig Latin, not a thing anymore.

You told her? I had to.

Sometime it could help me break up Cynthia and Craig.

But it totally backfired, like big time. And now there's only one option left.

You have to tell Craig you like him.

Like, like him.

Soph, I don't know.

Mom, there is a ticking clock and her name is Cynthia.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Well, we're not going to find it.

I need to tell Sophia, and I'll have to pack up her house for hers, then she'll

totally want to move.

Is it really that bad? Oh, yeah. It all started one Halloween when she dressed

up as a... What?

Yeah.

How did you know?

Well, someone had to man up. I figured bigger bait could have lured that bad

out. Uh, yeah, that's not exactly how it works. There it is.

You were saying?

You're the man.

Okay, I'll do it.

I'm going to tell Craig how I feel.

I can't believe you lost it again.

It has to be in here.

I'm pretty sure something weird is going on here, but I think you should ignore

it. Works for me.

Is that my fly costume?

Where is it? I don't know. It ran this way. Craig, I have something to tell

Kill it, Craig. Kill it!

Relax.

This kind's not even poisonous.

Looking for this?

Thanks.

Aw, now no one's gonna puke.

It's okay, Cynthia. Don't worry. Lots of people are freaked out by spiders.

It's a very normal reaction.

No. This whole town is very, very not normal.

I think you mean abnormal.

No. This place is ridiculous.

So all those jokes you made about Starfall's being ridiculous... Weren't

We were fish gas and now giant spiders?

I'm leaving.

Are you coming?

No thanks, Cynthia.

I like it here.

I hope she didn't offend you.

Nah, it's okay.

Star Falls can be ridiculous.

But I love it.

Me too.

So, uh, what was that thing you wanted to say? It seemed important.

Yes, it is.

I, uh, I... I wanted to tell you that... I need you to stop eating all

the cottage cheese.

Right.

Okay.

Sorry. I'll lay off it.

Is that all you wanted to say?

Yep. That's it.

Cottage cheese.

Good night.

Seriously, I can't believe you blew the perfect opportunity to tell Coach how

you feel.

That was just a trial run.

I'll tell him next time, 100%. Mm -hmm.

Anyway, we found a foster home for Herbie.

The big, hairy spider?

Yep. Both.

What? You know he's just gonna let it out again.

Not after I put this on the cage.

I've never loved you more than I do at this very moment.

Aw. Oh, we should probably go the other way. It's almost fish gas time at the

hut. Good call.

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