All language subtitles for Metti.Una.Notte.2017.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,840 Excuse me, sir. Sit down and fasten your seat belt, please. 4 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,200 We are landing in Rome. 5 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,760 Oh, yes, sorry. But can I-- Just a moment, to the toilet? 6 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,400 Sit down and fasten your seat belt, s'il vous plaît. 7 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,680 - Oh, come on! Just a moment to the toilet. - No, you can't! Silence! 8 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,080 We are landing. 9 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,320 - Hello. - Hello! 10 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,640 Hey? 11 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,640 Is everything all right in there? 12 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,240 I'm paralytic! 13 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:48,960 Do you need any help? 14 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,200 - He sounds shaken. - I feel better now! 15 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:54,600 Good! 16 00:01:54,920 --> 00:02:01,160 - Get away from the door, please! - No worries, I'm feeling much better now! 17 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,680 What happened? 18 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,840 I slipped on the floor. 19 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,320 But where's your wheelchair? 20 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,440 They stole it. 21 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,600 How did the thieves get away? 22 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,880 I… I don't know! 23 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,400 Please, don't! Help me get him up, please. 24 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:40,760 We urgently need an emergency wheelchair and a fruit juice. 25 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,840 I'm sorry, Uncle. I turned up without telling you. 26 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,840 My love life is total chaos. 27 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,800 No worries. I'm glad you came to see me. 28 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,800 By the way, when I saw you on that wheelchair, 29 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,440 I almost had a heart attack. 30 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,360 I'm so sorry, Uncle Fulvio. 31 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:08,640 They wouldn't let me go. Those obnoxious, zealous people. 32 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:13,800 "Zealous"? What a nice word. Zealous. 33 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,920 My dear Martino, this is the find of the century. 34 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,280 What do you see? 35 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,400 - Tainted water? - No! Look closer. 36 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,480 Ringed worms? 37 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,840 Yes! Leeches. Worms. 38 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,320 Listen carefully. 39 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,840 Their mating calls. 40 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,920 That's her. 41 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,680 And that's him. He's shy. 42 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,360 Leeches have always been known to be mute, Uncle. 43 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,640 - This find is-- - Sensational, I know. 44 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,560 Last time I went to Stuttgart, they treated me like a hopeless fool. 45 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,880 I'll make them eat their words! 46 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,280 Rice pilaf's ready. 47 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,720 And that's how it all ended. Me and Nadine broke up. 48 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,920 Come on, you met at school. Life goes on. 49 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,920 Yeah, but she was such a brilliant scientist. 50 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,040 I'd wake up in the middle of the night to watch her analyzing stool. 51 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,360 Why did you break up with her then? 52 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,800 She ran away with a thug! That's enough of a reason. 53 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:43,760 Martino Berese, don't forget that you come from a family of great scholars. 54 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:49,120 Your mom, me, your genius grandfather, Pal. 55 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:55,360 The same man who received this gift from Nobel himself. 56 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,680 Go ahead. Open it. 57 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,600 By the way, Martino, do you know that story-- 58 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,800 - Amedeo? - A little man gets out of jail-- 59 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,320 - Amedeo! Our cocktails? - Yes, sir. 60 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,560 But this was Granddad's gold watch. 61 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:21,600 - It was, but now it's yours. - Uncle, I can't accept it. 62 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,400 Listen, Martino. 63 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:29,680 Right now, in my opinion, you need something a bit more… a bit more… 64 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:30,960 A bit more? 65 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,480 Captivating, that's it. Something a bit more captivating. 66 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,160 - Do you think so? - Of course! 67 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:43,600 Actually, let's make a toast. Cheers to falling in love! 68 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,040 Yeah. 69 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,320 Someone's calling me. Who is it? 70 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,040 Let's find out. 71 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,680 Hi, there. 72 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,760 What? That's awful. Forget about it. 73 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:03,800 No, we can't put it off. It's too important. 74 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,880 I have an idea! I'll send you my nephew, Martino. 75 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,600 What? He can borrow my car. 76 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,160 Sure. Which one, you ask? My sport car. 77 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:16,800 You asshole! 78 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,600 Hey! Minzoni school, early 1990s. 79 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,520 We were classmates. Don't you remember me? 80 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,160 You had a "Take That" school planner. You're… 81 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,040 - Tea. - I'm Martino! 82 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,160 - Martino? - Don't you remember? 83 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,720 You used to hold hands with a blonde kid, during recess. 84 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:15,480 Those first schoolyard kisses. Well, I'd look at you all the time. 85 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,600 I'm sorry, but I don't remember you. 86 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:25,520 But that's my fault. I was never a cool kid. 87 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,400 Are you all okay? Are you all in one piece? 88 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,640 Yeah, I'm okay. But, come on, you can't drive. 89 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,720 Look at my handbag. 90 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,520 I'm sorry! I'm kind of drunk. My uncle-- 91 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,320 I'm developing a drinking problem, you know. 92 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,160 I drink a cocktail every six years. 93 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,120 I can't stop. 94 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,720 Cool. Everyone has their own vices. 95 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,040 Do you need a… Wait. 96 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,240 Excuse me, do you have a lighter? 97 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,637 Is this your car? 98 00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:58,120 Do you think I'm a thief? Of course it is. 99 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,280 It's a weird car. 100 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,280 Well, it's not mine. I borrowed it from someone. 101 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,440 Thanks. It's funny, though. 102 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,400 I come back from Switzerland after so many years, and I meet you. 103 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,040 I've been to Switzerland. 104 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,520 There are so many clocks. Are you a clockmaker? 105 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:20,240 No. I moved there with my parents, I graduated, and now I'm an entomologist. 106 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,760 - I study insects. - Really? Is that a job? 107 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:27,160 - Yes, it's my job. It's my life. - I'm sorry about that. 108 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,000 I mean, I get it. 109 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,680 Look at what's going on in the world. We have to make do somehow, 110 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,920 but come on, maybe, one day. Who knows? 111 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,800 Yeah. By the way, why don't we swap phone numbers? 112 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,560 I feel lucky to have met you. 113 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,920 Give me yours. 114 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:47,800 Great. 115 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,200 And he is? 116 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,600 Linda, he's Martino, your babysitter. 117 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,160 Martino, this is Linda, the head of our family. 118 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,440 Hi. 119 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,760 And where's Gaia? 120 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,720 Darling, I've already told you. Gaia couldn't make it. 121 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,040 - And so, you come from Switzerland. - I do. 122 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,200 - How was your flight? - It was great. 123 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:24,360 Unfortunately, I fell prey to some zealous people at the airport. 124 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,040 You said "zealous." 125 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:30,520 - Yeah. - I like it. Zealous. Good. 126 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,200 - Are you new to babysitting? - Yes, I am. 127 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,320 Well, two summers ago, I took care of my limping auntie. 128 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,360 - If that counts. - Honey, we're late. Tick-tock! Tick-tock! 129 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,640 Come on, let's go. 130 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:43,720 Lulù is not coming. 131 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,600 She's French, so she says she deserves an advantage. 132 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,280 Last time, she brought her own letters. 133 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,760 Can you imagine it? I mean, we weren't going to jail! 134 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,640 - But, who's Lulù? - Didn't they tell you about her? 135 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,080 No. 136 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,440 Anyway, bye! Please, be good! 137 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,840 - Bye! - Take care. Bye. 138 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,680 Can you imagine? 139 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:14,400 Monkey? Those two keep hiding my champagne. 140 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,480 - Champagne! - No, I'm good! 141 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,160 - I never overdo with drinking. - Really? 142 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:25,680 Cheers! 143 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:28,680 Happy New Year! 144 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,560 Darling, it's not New Year's Eve every time I open a bottle! 145 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,480 She's so silly. 146 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,320 Come on, monkey! Let's liven up this party! 147 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,480 Do an arabesque! 148 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,120 Excuse me, I… 149 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,280 I'm going to answer the phone. Well, if… 150 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,440 Tea, it's nice to hear from you. 151 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,520 Please, help me. I'm in danger. 152 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,400 In danger? How? 153 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,560 You should go to my parents' house and get something for me. 154 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,640 - I can't move. - What? Where are you? 155 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,120 I can't tell you right now, but… It's a matter of life and death. 156 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:29,760 Of life and… 157 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,200 Music! 158 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,520 Call the widow Cincotti on the intercom. 159 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,360 She never goes to sleep, so she can let you in. 160 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:41,520 The keys are under the doormat. Staircase C, third floor. 161 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,760 But please keep it down. My parents are asleep. Got it? 162 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,360 What? Are they in the house? 163 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,600 There's a cabinet on the right. In the first drawer, 164 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,840 there's a yellow envelope with some money in it. 165 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,560 Grab it, leave, and come here. I'm at Mamunia. 166 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,120 Wait. So, widow Cincotti, doormat, envelope with money. 167 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,640 I'm meeting you at Mamunia. 168 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,960 Yes, I'm going to text you the addresses. 169 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,920 - Martino? - Yes? 170 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,640 I wanted to tell you I'm so happy you recognized me today. 171 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,600 I've found our schnook. Are we done with this farce? 172 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:26,560 Listen, I'll never stop saying that breasts are so important. 173 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,920 - The breasts? - Yeah, the breasts. 174 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,160 - The boobs. - Yeah, I know them. 175 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,560 Good boy. 176 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:37,680 A man that doesn't know what breasts are, can't understand women! 177 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,200 I always tell this to my granddaughter. Linda? 178 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,240 A man that doesn't know what breasts are… 179 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,800 Is a peanut! 180 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:50,840 Move those tiny legs! 181 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,880 Come on! Like a swan! Yippee! 182 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,520 I must go. It's for an emergency. But I'll be back soon. 183 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,280 But you can't go. 184 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,760 You're here with her. I'll be back in an hour. 185 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,120 No, I can't be alone with her. 186 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:09,960 Thirty thousand euros on red! 187 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:14,160 - What are we going to do? - We're going to skin the girl and eat her. 188 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,920 - You're too tense. - I told you to wait in the car! 189 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,360 What's going on? Is the widow not answering? 190 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:51,600 Yeah. 191 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,800 Wait. 192 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,600 Who is it? 193 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,720 - It's me, Dad. Open the door. - Go fuck yourself! 194 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:08,520 - No, it's that he clearly didn't hear me. - We need to climb that wall. 195 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,760 Climb what? Lulù! 196 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:16,520 - Stop, Lulù! No! - Are you pushing or pulling me? 197 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,280 - What are you doing? - Stop, let me do it! 198 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,040 - You're touching my butt. - No! 199 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,880 A woman's butt, in order to be classy, 200 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,080 must fit in a man's hand, or in a champagne glass. 201 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,400 Lulù! 202 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,000 Let's go, come on! 203 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,600 The last time I hurt myself this bad was when I fell down from Mount Mario. 204 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:44,040 - But that's a neighborhood. - And so? Whatever. It's still very high. 205 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,320 Be careful, they are asleep. 206 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:52,120 I love it! Madness and adventure are part of our lives now! 207 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,560 Come on. 208 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,680 So, there's a cabinet on the right. 209 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:09,800 A yellow envelope… 210 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,080 Here it is! 211 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,240 - What? - That's gross! 212 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,080 - What? - A coquillage! 213 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,880 Whatever. You scared the life out of me! They're just shells all glued together. 214 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:32,840 - I'm sorry, but I must break it. - Lulù, you're not going to do that. 215 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,160 - I must. - I forbid you to break that coquillage. 216 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,120 Put it down, right now. 217 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,760 Okay. 218 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,280 Oops! 219 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,360 It fell down. 220 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,280 Well, I'm going in. I'll be back as soon as I'm done, okay? 221 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,280 - Are we not coming? - No way. 222 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,480 But we're a team! 223 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,200 Where are you going all alone? You're not made for this city. 224 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,840 I'll take that as a compliment. 225 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,320 You're the only one who could take it that way. 226 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,680 I'll take that as a compliment, too. You know what? 227 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,440 You're going to sit in the front. I'm not your driver! 228 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,280 And you're going to tell me how a butt can fit into a glass. 229 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,960 Listen, if you keep me tied up here, we can't meet up with the Swiss. 230 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,400 Unless he has already left. 231 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,800 Hey! I'm looking for a girl called Tea! Do you know her? 232 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,120 - What? - A girl's waiting for me-- 233 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,320 - Fuck off! - Thank you! 234 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,760 I told you. It's too late to become a vegan. 235 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,640 Your brain is long gone. It's screwed. Bye! 236 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,600 I bet you've been pigging out on sausages all morning. 237 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,320 Where do you keep them? In there? 238 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,960 Are they in there? Come on, show them to me. 239 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:13,400 No! Come on. No! Damn it! 240 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,080 Come on! 241 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,800 I'm sure you keep a charcuterie board in there. 242 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:23,880 Come on. 243 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:28,760 You're shy, how cute! Poor thing. How cute. 244 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,880 Come on! Damn it. 245 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,760 Oh, I'm sorry, miss! 246 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,520 - Let go! You're hurting me! - I'm stuck! 247 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,120 You're pulling my hair! 248 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,840 Don't move! Come on, don't be difficult! 249 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,320 Help me! This guy's nuts! 250 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:06,560 No! Guys, I'm telling you, you're losing a customer! 251 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,240 Here. 252 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,280 Assholes! 253 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,440 Reggi, you're out! 254 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,880 What? 255 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,320 But are you sure they're here? 256 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:12,160 - This is the impound lot. - If you say so. 257 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,480 Here, keep the change. Enjoy it. 258 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,600 - Enjoy what? You still owe me two euros. - Oh, I'm sorry. 259 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:34,320 Human beings are mammals. They are split into two types, 260 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,120 the male and the female. 261 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,520 They were both born genetically prone to carry out different tasks. 262 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,000 Honey, where are my underpants? 263 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,320 In the drawer. 264 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:59,280 The male, for example, seems to be incapable of finding things. 265 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,240 I can't find them. 266 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:04,960 Goddammit. 267 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,520 But the female steps in promptly. 268 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,240 She's a natural at these things. 269 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:14,680 Excuse me? 270 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,200 Is anybody in there? 271 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:27,040 Moreover, the male keeps producing belly button lint. 272 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,840 He saves it for the nest. 273 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:37,040 In her turn, every 28 days, the female lays an egg. 274 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,280 Hello? 275 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,960 - I'm pushy, huh? - Hello! 276 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,960 As always, your uncle is crushing it. 277 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,760 If this continues, we're leaving early. 278 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,440 How is it going? 279 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,160 I don't think "menfio" is a word. 280 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,240 BEETLE MENFIO 281 00:24:55,400 --> 00:25:00,280 - What? - Menfio. Menfio. Menfio. 282 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,880 It's what you'd call a poor guy who thinks highly of himself. 283 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,480 I say it all the time. 284 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,960 "He's a menfio!" Am I right, Amedeo? 285 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,160 Sure, he keeps calling me that anyway. 286 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,120 Enough. 287 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,240 - Are they being good? - Sure, they're so sweet! 288 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,320 Even Lulù? 289 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,040 The good old Lulù. She's a real star-- 290 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,080 - Linda went to bed, right? - Hours and hours ago. 291 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,560 Good. See you in a bit. 292 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,760 Yeah, but don't rush. Have fun. Tonight's your night! 293 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:40,160 I met your granddad in a car like that. It was the summer of '67. 294 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,120 In Ventimiglia. Or maybe we were in Battipaglia? 295 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,360 - I thought you two met on a ski holiday. - Oh, God, you're right! 296 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:51,920 It wasn't him then. What a summer, though! 297 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,520 Wait. 298 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:01,080 What do we have here? It's a sandwich! 299 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,080 It's with baby artichokes. I love them. 300 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:11,680 Pasta is no fun for me! Don't you agree? 301 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,280 I love pasta. 302 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,680 I could live on sandwiches and tartlets alone. 303 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:19,800 Hi! 304 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,120 - Finally! Where have you been? - Me? 305 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,080 - We were caught by a tow truck. - You were caught, huh? 306 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,240 We had such a horrible experience! 307 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,800 Lulù, I was there. You didn't lift a finger. 308 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,400 I wasn't born yesterday! 309 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,560 Is that a handbag? 310 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,840 - How cute! - It's Tea's. 311 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,160 Never mind. It would be pointless asking you where our car is, right? 312 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,240 Area D, row 16. Over there. 313 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,920 On the other hand, the female is like a walking box, 314 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,560 waiting to be filled. 315 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,400 That's why her doors are always open. 316 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:07,480 After spring, when larvae are hatching, the cycle starts all over again. 317 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,120 Keep it down! 318 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,400 - So? - It's closed! 319 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,280 - What? - It's all shut. 320 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,800 I can't believe it, it's so early! We're in Rome! 321 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,880 Keep it down. Wait. 322 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,960 "I'm in danger. Bring me the envelope." 323 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,520 I didn't do it. What if they killed her? 324 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,520 They didn't. You wanted to do it all alone. 325 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,880 My head's spinning, my stomach hurts. Give me some drugs, or a bucket! 326 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,960 You're as white as mayo. 327 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,280 - Why don't you call her? - I tried to, but her phone's off! 328 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,000 So, where are we going now? 329 00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:53,040 I don't know where I'm going, but you're going home. No more trouble. 330 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,920 Are you nuts? What about Tea? Are you turning your back on her? 331 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,360 - Give it to me! - What do you want from me? 332 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:10,200 - Clues. We're looking for clues. - What are you doing, Lulù? Let's go home. 333 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,440 When Linda's parents are back, I'll go find Tea. 334 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,440 The tiniest detail is enough for me to understand what happened. 335 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:23,040 Last year, I dated a KGB agent. 336 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:27,320 - The KGB was dissolved 30 years ago. - That's what they want you to think. 337 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,440 Hair spray. How gross. Nobody uses it anymore. 338 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,120 It makes your hair look fake. 339 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,760 - What the hell? - Here it is! 340 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,320 Restaurant O' Vesuvio, The Rude Brothers. 341 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,760 Let's go check it out! 342 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,800 In the worst case, if we can't find Tea… Bon appétit! 343 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,120 Seventeen, bad luck. 344 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:14,680 Fifty-four, the hat. 345 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:16,880 O' VESUVIO THE RUDE BROTHERS 346 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,720 Fifty-two, the mom. 347 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,680 Shake up that basket. 348 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,520 - Come on. - Sixty-six, the two maids. 349 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,680 The two maids. Boy! 350 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,280 - Twenty-three, the fool. - That's your number. 351 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,600 Excuse me? Are you the Rude Brothers? 352 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,160 - How dare you? - Mom, it's our surname. 353 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:40,680 Oh, right. 354 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,640 The buffet is over. Did you forget anything? 355 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:48,160 Are you playing the Neapolitan tombola? I love it! 356 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,600 - Anything to drink? - A shot of lemon liqueur, thanks. 357 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:57,240 - She'll get a tonic water. Right, monkey? - Listen, I'm looking for someone. 358 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:01,800 But I don't know what to do anymore. You might help me, though. Her name's Tea. 359 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,720 Thirty-four, the head. 360 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,320 - Nice to meet you. I'm Martino. - Martino. 361 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:17,800 - Do you know her? Is she your girlfriend? - Well, "girlfriend" is-- 362 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,480 We've been looking for her for months. We thought something bad happened. 363 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,800 Don't worry, she's fine. I was going to meet her at Mamunia. 364 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,600 Wait, let me guess. She didn't show up. 365 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:32,560 If I were you, I'd go nuts. She's like an illusionist. 366 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,200 You've almost caught her, and then puff, she's gone. 367 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,480 Anyway, no worries. You can pay off her debt. 368 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,200 - Excuse me? - You can pay us. 369 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:42,600 Eighty-eight, the cheese. 370 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,560 - That's me! - What a great start! 371 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:50,520 - Are you guys from Naples? - Of course. 372 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,360 That's weird. You speak like those who come from the outskirts. 373 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,080 Tea owes us a bunch of money. 374 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,000 If she's your girlfriend, and she owes us money, 375 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,280 then you owe us money too. 376 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,360 - Well said. - What? Come on, we're good people. 377 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:16,480 You know, my uncle always says that a money debt is not a real debt. 378 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,160 - Fifty, the bread. - Come on, Martino, don't spoil the party. 379 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:21,920 Give them that envelope. 380 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:24,240 Which envelope? 381 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:28,440 No, she's talking nonsense. She's having a sugar spike. 382 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,640 And congratulations on your restaurant. 383 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,040 It's so bizarre. We'll definitely come back. 384 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:34,680 But we really must go now. 385 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,240 If I'd known that, I'd have beaten the shit outta you! 386 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,280 - What? - What was that? 387 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,920 I'm gonna beat the shit outta you. Got it? 388 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,600 Please, don't do that. 389 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,040 - You want the envelope, right? Here. - Good boy. 390 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,760 That threat always works. 391 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,600 Forty-eight, the talking dead. 392 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,800 "Smack from Cervia." 393 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,360 What's this junk? 394 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,360 I love Cervia. 395 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:09,200 And the sea… Actually, the entire coastline. 396 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:14,080 Martino, I have some news for you. I don't like you. You're annoying. 397 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,440 That makes sense, it takes time to like me-- 398 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,040 - I'm gonna kill him. - Don't be like that. 399 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:21,600 You're always thinking about money. 400 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,720 …the amazement. 401 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,920 He's like a shark that's following the smell of… 402 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,640 What do sharks smell? 403 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,320 - Blood. - Blood. 404 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,600 You're obsessed with it. Let's get back to business. 405 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,800 Let's talk about hair. 406 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,160 About your hair. 407 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,520 You have nice hair. Do you know that, Martino? 408 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,440 Seventy-three, the hospital. 409 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:45,720 I'm a mess. I'm doomed. Look. 410 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,360 Do you use a blow dryer? 411 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,040 Do you use a blow dryer? 412 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,800 - He does. - Shut up. 413 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:58,000 If you listen to me, your hair will grow thick and shiny. 414 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,440 You could show off your new hair everywhere. 415 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,040 And I don't mean at Christmas, with your family, 416 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,920 but at meetings, university conferences, or on TV. 417 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,320 TV is so close to my heart. 418 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,120 Excuse me, who are you? Are you a scientist? 419 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,360 - Thirty-nine, the hanged man. - That's me! 420 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,800 Ma'am, is he a real scientist? 421 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,760 - A Swiss one. - He's so charming. 422 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,040 - Gosh! - He still hasn’t paid us! 423 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:27,200 Again? You only care about money! 424 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,400 Excuse him, he's jealous. He has no chance of growing it back. 425 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,680 - So, get the yolk of an egg. - Okay. 426 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,040 Add some nourishing rapeseed oil to it. 427 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,960 And-- Are you going to take notes, or-- 428 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,720 He's right. We have the chance to talk to a scientist. So, take notes. 429 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,880 Excuse us. Rapeseed oil and… 430 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:48,760 - A shot of liquor and some mustard. - So, rabbit oil, licorice, mustache… 431 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,200 And some cottage cheese. 432 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:52,400 - How much? - Fifty grams. 433 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,840 - Anything else? - No, thanks. 434 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:58,520 You rub it vigorously, wrap it all up, and leave it on for 30 minutes. 435 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,120 - Does it work? - You tell me! 436 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,640 Seventy-one, the asshole. 437 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,640 He's right, though. It takes time to like him. 438 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:09,360 I like you. Martino, you're a great scientist. 439 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:13,800 Let me give you a hug. I truly admire you. 440 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,920 What's going on here? Where's Linda? 441 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,600 Sixty-three, the bride. 442 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:18,640 Hello! 443 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,000 Thirty-eight, the punch. 444 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,280 Are you nuts? He has nothing to do with it! 445 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:29,480 Excuse me. 446 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:35,080 - Hey, how are you? Are you okay? - I'm fine, really. 447 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,840 What do you want? Do you want money? Take it! 448 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:39,360 Come here. 449 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:44,160 - Come here, sit down. - Don't worry, my other eye is fine. 450 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:45,160 Let me see. 451 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:51,080 Poor Martino. You're so dear to me. 452 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,000 You're the first person who truly cares about me. 453 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,520 - Really? - I truly appreciate it. 454 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,000 Oh, Tea… 455 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,280 I was so hurt for such a long time. 456 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,560 I was in love with you without knowing it. 457 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:17,160 I kept looking for something, while riding buses, listening to songs… 458 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,400 inside my lab worms. 459 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,480 Deep down, I was always looking for you. 460 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,040 I realized it when I saw you. 461 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,320 I told myself that a crush couldn't last for 20 years, right? 462 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:32,840 You're right. 463 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,880 And you're so… 464 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:38,840 beautiful. 465 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,560 I'm going to sit on your lap. 466 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:17,360 - Is that okay? - Yes, thank you. 467 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:25,080 It's nice, I must admit that, but… 468 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,160 Tea? 469 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,160 They're staring at us. 470 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:35,000 Tea? 471 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,520 What are you doing to me? Who are you? 472 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,640 I'm trying to break free. Can you help me out here? 473 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,200 Oh, okay. 474 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,920 - I'm Gaia. - She's this monkey's babysitter. 475 00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:00,160 - What is she doing here? - I called her. 476 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,560 You looked pretty helpless, so I thought it was a good idea. 477 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,960 - A great idea. - And I rushed here to save you! So? 478 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,200 To save us? Can't you see where we are? 479 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:15,200 - You made a real mess. - Me? You made it. Actually, he made it. 480 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,360 How nice of you. Are you friends with her? 481 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,080 We ended up here because you were running after a girl. 482 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:25,760 "A girl"? Tea's a dear friend of mine. I came here to give her a hand. 483 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,520 - Only one. - Don't worry. 484 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,480 Gaia has been taking it out on everyone lately. 485 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:35,440 - Her boyfriend dumped her. - Actually, he asked me to marry him. 486 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:39,000 And you said no, so he dumped you. That's it! 487 00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:42,160 Two hours later, he'd already found a hot Spanish girl. 488 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,240 Olé. 489 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,680 You're angry with me because of what I said to your daughter. 490 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,080 Come on! 491 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,640 Anyway, you played dirty. 492 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,440 You let her drink a shot. 493 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:59,480 - It was a big glass. So great. - You were drunk. 494 00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:01,040 Well, she has no enzymes. 495 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,880 If she doesn't drink, she'll never develop them! 496 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,680 I don't want to barge in on your family arguments, 497 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,120 but if we don't hurry up, 498 00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:10,600 you'll keep arguing in a refrigerating cell forever. 499 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,400 Let's get up on my three. 500 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,600 - No, wait! - Come on, you too! Let's try! 501 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:18,160 - One, two… - Come on. 502 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,440 - Yes. We're almost there. - Come on. 503 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:27,760 - Help me out! - Good! We're great. Yeah. 504 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:32,680 Wait, let's try it this way. 505 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,000 - Ouch! Are you nuts? - I'm sorry. 506 00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:39,080 - Sorry, it's just that I am a bit… - Wait, let me think. 507 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:43,640 We're in a restaurant cellar, right? It's a public establishment. 508 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,400 There must be an emergency door somewhere. 509 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,760 - Let's try down there. - Okay, but be careful. 510 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,760 - Like this? Yes. Very good. - Here we go. 511 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:57,600 - Yes. Very good. - Are you not ashamed of yourselves? 512 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,440 Do we have an emergency door? 513 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,200 God, we're safe. 514 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,560 Are they following us? 515 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:17,680 - No. - Let's go get some pastries! 516 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:19,080 - Yes! - No way. 517 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,200 I want a savory one! 518 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,200 Calm down! What are you talking about? I must find Tea! 519 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,080 And savory pastries are not a thing. 520 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,560 - But I need to pee. - God! 521 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,960 What a night. What a surreal experience. 522 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,360 Gaia is right on this one. 523 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,120 I bet no one has ever lived anything like this before! 524 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:47,200 - Thank God we managed to break free. - Yeah, but tonight really sucked. 525 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,600 Let's go get some sandwiches! 526 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:55,160 - What? I must find Lea. - I need to poop. 527 00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:00,000 ZEALOUS 528 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,000 - "Zealous"? - What? 529 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,560 Yeah. Zealous. 530 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:10,880 I'm afraid that doesn't count, because it's spelled Z-E-A-L-U-O-U-S. 531 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,280 - It comes from Latin. - Can we use Latin words? 532 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,480 Gosh, no! We said no English, Latin, or Greek words. 533 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,400 Captain Cafiero has spoken. 534 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,600 You translate from Russian. That's interesting. 535 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:39,800 Only a few people can speak Russian. Is it a family thing, or what? 536 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,160 Yes, it is. Mom's called Ruslana, and Dad's called Russell. 537 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,720 - That's a good one. - Translators have a sense of humor. 538 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:52,120 - It's her hobbyhorse. She always says it. - Shut up! Focus and try to pee. 539 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,400 But he's looking at me. 540 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,720 That's impossible. I stopped doing that after a nun, at a rest stop-- 541 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:02,880 You should make her close her eyes and cover her ears. 542 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:09,360 It's an old technique from the '80s, but it's always effective. 543 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,240 I beg your pardon. It's late. How rude of me. I'm Renato. 544 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,440 I'm Martino. 545 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,000 You might have recognized me. 546 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,880 I'm the last New Romantic singer, or that's what the press calls me. 547 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,160 I mean, I'm the last time-wise. 548 00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:29,400 It's funny, because I've always been fond of that movement. I feel connected to it. 549 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,680 Listen, I'm here to ask you for a favor. 550 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,520 Yeah, I saw your car. 551 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,640 Could you please give me a ride to the Tabasco Club? 552 00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:37,920 I'm performing tonight. 553 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:42,440 Well, it's not the right time. She's trying to do her business. 554 00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:44,440 Oops. Pardon, lady. 555 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,360 By the way, you'd be my guests. Ça va sans dire. 556 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,480 Damn it. You see… 557 00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:04,000 I'm sure that you're a special guy, and a great singer too. Seriously! 558 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,880 But, unfortunately, we shouldn't even be here. 559 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,760 Okay, forget it. Everyone has their own battles. 560 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:17,520 - Go crush it! - Au revoir! 561 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,280 Eyes and ears, huh? 562 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:26,040 Let's give it a try. Come here, Martino. Stand behind her and cover her ears. 563 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:29,840 - Like this? - Good. Linda, focus. Close your eyes. 564 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,360 - Martino, you too. - What? 565 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:36,040 - He should close his eyes. - They're tightly shut. 566 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:37,960 Are we ready? 567 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,240 One, two, three, go! 568 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,640 He kidnapped her. He was a fake New Romantic singer. 569 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,880 He was wearing blush and shoulder pads. 570 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,720 Only you could fall for a contemporary New Romantic. 571 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,520 - But I'm sure the kidnapper is Lulù. - Fuck! 572 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,240 - He said "fuck." - What am I doing here? 573 00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:09,480 I should be hugging Tea on a couch, but I'm here with you two instead. 574 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:10,960 Are you taking it out on us? 575 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,480 No, I'm angry with you! Why couldn't you babysit her tonight? 576 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,080 Why do you think I'm wearing a uniform? It's not for a manga meetup. 577 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,040 Well, you look like a cartoon character with those bulging eyes. 578 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,800 What? How dare you! My eyes are beautiful. 579 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,440 - Listen, I'm calling the authorities. - You can't. 580 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,520 - I'm calling the police then. - It's the same! 581 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,360 They'd call her parents immediately. 582 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,280 What should we tell them? That we got ourselves into trouble 583 00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,240 because we wanted to hug Tea on a couch? 584 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,600 - Do you think so? - I never stop thinking. 585 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:44,680 You should try to think sometimes. 586 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,560 Let's go, I've had enough with this bullshit. 587 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,600 - You said "bullshit." - Hey, wait! Do this. 588 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,880 - Why? - Do it. 589 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,760 - What's that? I'm not doing it! - It's to know if you're having a stroke. 590 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,880 Where are you going? It's a rough area. 591 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,840 I'm calling a taxi, because Lulù stole our car. 592 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,120 - Shit. - He said "shit." 593 00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,480 Yes, Linda, I admit it. I said "shit." 594 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:10,080 - And I'm about to say something worse. - Like? 595 00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,160 - Fu-- - Whatever. 596 00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:17,360 Let's go, Linda. 597 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,640 Won't they be mad at us? 598 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,080 - Who? - The guys with that kid. 599 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,080 - I thought you knew them. - I don't know them! 600 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:31,400 - No. Is this the right road? - Yes, take the next one on the right. 601 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:37,040 But let's get back to us. So, you met him. What kind of man was he? 602 00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,200 - Who? Frank Sinatra? - Yes. 603 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:40,960 I'd say he was greedy. 604 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:42,720 - Greedy? - Yeah. 605 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,440 - And Mick Jagger? - He's a great artist. 606 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,440 But he has no calves. Well, he's all bones right up to his knee. 607 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,880 - It's a nightmare. - Like Barbra Streisand. 608 00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:55,000 Huh? 609 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:58,480 She didn't use to have such a big nose. She got a nose job. 610 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,600 - Really? - She used to have a tiny turned-up nose. 611 00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:04,760 But, after all, 612 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,440 she was only one step away from perfection. 613 00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,000 - I have some gin in my handbag. - Okay. 614 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:15,680 And what about George Harrison? 615 00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:18,560 He was so loud. 616 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,320 I've always thought the same thing. 617 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,320 Why me? I never got into trouble, or took an aspirin on an empty stomach. 618 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:30,520 It's happening all at once. 619 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:31,600 SUPERMARKET 620 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:33,840 - You blew it up. Admit it. - And so what? 621 00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,920 My uncle always says, "Despise a mistake, understand who's mistaken." 622 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,320 - Whatever. - No, it's a life philosophy! 623 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,560 Understanding over blaming the first ass-- blaming a random guy. 624 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,440 Civilization. That sanitizer smell. 625 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:57,440 - Is anybody here? Hello? Where's everyone? - Maybe we've been invaded by the aliens. 626 00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:02,040 Mario? We need urgent help at cash register number four, thanks. 627 00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,080 Maybe his name is not Mario. 628 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:09,200 If we were the last people on Earth, what would you do? 629 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,680 - I'd eat all the food. - Let's go! 630 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:06,320 - Martino? - Yes? 631 00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:07,800 You dropped something. 632 00:47:09,720 --> 00:47:12,240 Oh, God. I'm sorry. I didn't-- 633 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,680 - I didn't do it on purpose. - What? I didn't-- 634 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,160 Do you need a trumpet? Do you want to check-- 635 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:25,040 How funny. 636 00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:29,320 He pretended he hadn't heard it! How polite of you, Martino! 637 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:33,960 - Mario's here. - Who? 638 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,080 Mario's here. 639 00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,800 - Ninety-two euros and ninety cents. - Ninety-two? 640 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,320 I could have taken over the entire company. 641 00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:49,280 Where's the telephone? I want to book a taxi. 642 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,120 No. No telephone. 643 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,800 We're getting this too. There's a telephone booth outside. 644 00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:56,440 Ninety-seven and ninety. 645 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:03,000 - What's this? Leave it, come on. - No. It's a thing between me and her. 646 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:08,080 - What's the address of the store? - No. No address. 647 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,440 No, I'll tell you once again. The store is behind you. 648 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,800 You have a '60s style building in front of you. 649 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,400 - It's '50s style. - It's '50s style. Kind of fascist. 650 00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,400 - And that's the end. - You've already told me. 651 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:27,640 There's a huge empty parkway in the middle. 652 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,720 - The streetlights. - With many streetlights. 653 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:30,960 - I told her. - You didn't. 654 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:32,280 I need an address. 655 00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,720 I would have given it to you, if I'd known it! 656 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,960 Listen, can't you track the location of this phone call? 657 00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:40,440 Good. With a computer. 658 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:41,720 Yes, with a computer. 659 00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,000 Ma'am, we're a taxi service, not the CIA. 660 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,960 Okay, thanks. Goodnight. 661 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,840 We've called five people. They need an address or it's pointless! 662 00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:52,320 Let me try. 663 00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:01,520 Hello. 664 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,120 So, a little man gets out of jail. Okay? 665 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,040 Good heavens! And where's the old lady? 666 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:13,680 With a singer? That's great. Yes, I got it. 667 00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:16,600 We just finished here. Yeah, sure. 668 00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:20,160 What? I'm going to take care of it. 669 00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,760 And the guard replied, "You ass!" 670 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:26,280 You've always been quite a character, huh? 671 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:27,800 No one's leaving! 672 00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:32,400 Someone breached the rules! 673 00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:35,000 My dear Mariella, there's a storm brewing. 674 00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:41,760 Someone wrote "action" with two Ns. We must start a new round! 675 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:47,200 - We're in the middle of nowhere. - Mosquitos are eating me alive. 676 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:48,440 They're not mosquitos. 677 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:51,040 They're drosophila melanogaster, or fruit flies. 678 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,080 I used to come here with Grandma to get wine. 679 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:56,800 That's how you started drinking. 680 00:49:58,440 --> 00:49:59,880 Maybe it was another place. 681 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,640 Listen, with all due respect, I don't think it's the right time 682 00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:05,160 to take a trip down memory-- 683 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:11,040 Look. It's a party. There are some people. 684 00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,800 I've never seen them so close. Have you? 685 00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:19,320 Yes, I think I'm made for this city. 686 00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:21,320 What? 687 00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,880 Sorry, I was lost in my th-- What were you saying? 688 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,480 - Nothing. - Sometimes the mind goes fast. 689 00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,600 - But words travel slower. - Travel slower. 690 00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:45,960 Guys, are you here? Guys? 691 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:47,800 Honey, stay there! We're coming! 692 00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,880 Let's go, before she falls down a well. 693 00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:55,800 Yeah, I mean if she falls down, she can't go anywhere. 694 00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:57,880 What? 695 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,320 No, what I meant to say is that we would find her easily. 696 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,240 Falling down a well is better than falling down a volcano. 697 00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:06,360 - Or-- - Let's go. 698 00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,440 Let's go. 699 00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,720 Honey, don't slip away. Just in case. 700 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:18,080 I wanted to leave you two alone. 701 00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:19,800 Thank you, Stellini. 702 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,160 - I shall thank you, my dear brother! - Listen. 703 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,440 Hooray for St. Hilarius! 704 00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:29,360 When the moon will be up in the sky 705 00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:33,840 I will hold you tight to my chest 706 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:35,120 Hello! 707 00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:38,240 Who are you? 708 00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:43,120 - Who are you? - Me? Everyone knows me! 709 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:47,240 Everyone and their mother, and don't forget their brother! 710 00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:49,800 I'm the greatest-- 711 00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:52,560 Damn it. 712 00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,200 Well, I'm the Great Stellini. 713 00:53:00,240 --> 00:53:03,240 - We're lost. - We're looking for a nightclub. 714 00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:06,440 Ting! You're hypnotized. 715 00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:13,440 In your future, I see a super-hot club! 716 00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:15,800 The Tabasco club! 717 00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:17,840 - You got it! - That's our place! 718 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,200 He read our minds. 719 00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:24,240 No, it was an easy one. Everyone is going there tonight. 720 00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,120 I'll be performing my magic tricks. 721 00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,120 Right, you're a magician! That's why you look so-- 722 00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:32,840 Sure! You think I'd leave my house dressed like this? 723 00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,400 - Exactly. - Actually, I would. 724 00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:40,000 If I want to, I'll leave my house dressed like this. Ting! 725 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:45,040 Well done. Mr. Stellini, you must excuse him… 726 00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,360 - Did I say something wrong? - You sounded kind of mean. 727 00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:53,760 All right then, follow me. 728 00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:57,680 It's dark, but there's a way through the woods, 729 00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:03,360 which leads to Tabasco. Would you like to explore it? 730 00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,040 Did you see it? 731 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:22,040 Are you a little girl or a dwarf? 732 00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:24,320 - I'm a little girl. - What a pity! 733 00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:28,080 Because my assistant, Alberto, has mumps. 734 00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,320 If you'd been a dwarf, you could have stood in for him. 735 00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:35,040 - And worn a wig. It's a pity. - Yeah. 736 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,400 My wife used to be my assistant. 737 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,640 - We're sorry about that. - Accept our condolences. 738 00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:42,480 What? She's not dead. 739 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:47,760 But now that we're wealthy people, she can stay at home and be a good wife. 740 00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:52,640 - That's even better. - It is! Look. She's stunning. 741 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,680 She's so beautiful! Look at her. 742 00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:56,800 - She is, right? - It's a dark photo. 743 00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,920 What? He's just like her. 744 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,960 If I switch the lights off, she gets angry with me. 745 00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:09,600 The other night, I switched them off, and guess what? She was blinded with rage! 746 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:16,520 And I'm not even trying to be funny! But don't expect me to tell you her story. 747 00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,160 - We didn't mean to be nosy. - No worries. 748 00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:21,600 - I'm going to tell it to you! - Yes! 749 00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:27,040 A while ago, I don't exactly know why, 750 00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,400 I was sure my wife wanted to cheat on me. 751 00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:35,360 So, an old friend of mine got me a mysterious tool. 752 00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,720 A hypnotic spiral. 753 00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:42,000 I started to use it gradually. 754 00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:45,920 She'd look at it and get hypnotized. 755 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:48,320 I used to say, 756 00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,240 "Agata, your magic side is talking to you." 757 00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:56,120 "You're never going to cheat on me, Agata." 758 00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,920 I went out that night. 759 00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:09,520 I mean, why sleep? The world is such a beautiful place. 760 00:56:09,720 --> 00:56:16,280 Anyway, I was wandering around, when… boom, crash! 761 00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:22,560 A man in a tuxedo came out of nowhere, saying, "You're the millionth passerby 762 00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:26,600 of this bridge, built by Hannibal in…" 763 00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:30,600 Or was it Hasdrubal? Well, who cares. They're both dead. 764 00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,240 {\an8}They interviewed me, took pictures, and gave me… 765 00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,440 {\an8}TO THE MILLIONTH PASSERBY OF THIS BRIDGE - ONE EURO 766 00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:42,160 {\an8}…a gigantic check that weighed at least 2.5 kilos. 767 00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,960 I was even on the news on TV. 768 00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:49,960 My friends were so impressed. I was their hero that day! 769 00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:55,480 I even got a call from our Mayor, who congratulated me on my success. 770 00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,640 It was magical. I'll never forget that moment. 771 00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:05,480 - And then? - What? 772 00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:07,720 How did your story end? 773 00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:12,120 - Right, I almost forgot. It just ended. - Like that? 774 00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:16,160 A corpse once said, "I went to bed and woke up dead." 775 00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:19,360 - What a beautiful ending. - Wait. Your story makes no sense. 776 00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:21,280 You better be thinking about yours. 777 00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:25,240 Guys, here's the shining bright Tabasco! 778 00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,040 I'm going to get ready. 779 00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:37,680 The bill's on me. You're my guests! 780 00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:44,360 Go crazy on the drinks! But not on the bill. 781 00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:48,720 Where's Lulù? 782 00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:50,920 I have no idea. 783 00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:54,520 - You stay here. I'm going to the restroom. - Okay. 784 00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,160 I have my own theory on this matter. 785 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,680 You are what you look like. 786 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:08,440 If you look like an asshole, I mean, that's what you are. 787 00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,280 Doctors have said it before me. 788 00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:14,400 I mean, you look like a criminal, and what are you actually? 789 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:18,000 A brilliant scholar? No, you're a criminal. 790 00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:20,360 - Also-- - No, Tea. 791 00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:25,960 You've been such a pain in the ass. My head's about to explode. You know what? 792 00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:30,760 Guys! 793 00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,000 Hey, is there a telephone booth here? 794 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,920 Guys, you saved my life. I love you! 795 00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:45,960 You know what? One of these nights, we could go swimming. 796 00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,720 I know an amazing place. 797 00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:50,840 We want the money, Tea. 798 00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:54,160 I hate to say my brother's right, but he is. 799 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,440 You disappeared. You never answer your phone. 800 00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,040 No! Don't talk to me like that. 801 00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,440 By the way, who told you I was at Mamunia? 802 00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:02,800 Your boyfriend. 803 00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:05,000 - Do I have a boyfriend? - He's Swiss. 804 00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:07,000 Oh, Martino. 805 00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:11,280 - What an asshole. He's got the money. - No, he hasn't. 806 00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:12,800 He does, trust me. 807 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:17,200 Let's do it this way. Call him and ask him to bring the money. 808 00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,920 But we took his phone. 809 00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:23,200 By the way, my phone's not working. 810 00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,720 That dickhead threw it into a glass of beer. 811 00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:30,680 Sorry, but what's this cheese smell? 812 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,840 Oh! It's a nourishing hair mask. It's 100% natural. 813 00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,480 - That scientist told me to try it. - Shut up! It's working. 814 00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:43,880 Martino? 815 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:57,280 - Did I miss something? - He's a butt drummer. He's so great. 816 00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:58,800 Lulù is not here. 817 00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,440 She'll turn up at some point. Let's get some drinks. 818 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:06,240 - Can we get a strawberry daiquiri? - I'll get a tonic water! 819 01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:09,360 - It's the salty one, right? - No. It's made with strawberry juice. 820 01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,960 Hell, yes! Enough with the suffering. 821 01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,800 Two strawberry daiquiris and a tonic water, please. 822 01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:16,760 And some snacks. 823 01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,520 What a beautiful night. What a beautiful place. 824 01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:25,200 This city is stunning. 825 01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,240 Things like this never happen in Switzerland! 826 01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,680 Good evening, everyone. 827 01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:46,400 Someone once said that living means coping with nausea and twists of fate. 828 01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:49,200 I don't remember who said that, but they were right. 829 01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:53,240 Twists happen suddenly sometimes. 830 01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:56,280 That's why I associate them with fate. 831 01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:01,840 It's simply because the word "fate" reminds us of… 832 01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:03,680 faith. 833 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:18,280 Meeting you was fate 834 01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:23,960 Because you are just like me 835 01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:25,680 It was fate 836 01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:29,080 Good morning, how are you? 837 01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:31,200 What are you up to? 838 01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:35,000 I don't know, I'm with you 839 01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:38,240 I was there, sitting at the bar 840 01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:40,120 Minding my own business 841 01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:41,880 With my cup of coffee 842 01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:46,000 But I couldn't drink it 843 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,880 When you asked me 844 01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:52,080 If I wanted some sugar or not 845 01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:54,280 There you were 846 01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:57,880 You introduced yourself, I mean 847 01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:01,240 You're perfect for me 848 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:09,200 Meeting you was fate 849 01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:14,480 Because you are just like me 850 01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:20,280 It was fate What are we up to tomorrow? 851 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,040 I don't know 852 01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,880 Me neither, we'll see 853 01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:29,200 I was there, sitting at the bar 854 01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:30,920 Minding my own business 855 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,920 With my cup of coffee 856 01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:36,920 But I couldn't drink it 857 01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,840 When you asked me 858 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:43,320 If I wanted some sugar or not 859 01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,040 There you were 860 01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:49,560 You introduced yourself, I mean-- 861 01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:07,480 Go, Stellini, it's your turn. Guys, I want you out! 862 01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:18,400 All the spice! London, Paris, Toronto. If my trick's fail, I'll have to pay. 863 01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:24,320 Boas do crawl, cannon ladies don't fall, and this cloth will turn into a moth! 864 01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:27,200 - Damn it. - Buzz off! 865 01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:28,720 Lulù. 866 01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:31,520 - Drink some. - Guys, let me do my job. 867 01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:34,440 Did she pass out? 868 01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:39,720 - Have you called the police? - What? Why the police? 869 01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:45,600 London, Paris, Toronto. If my trick's fail, I'll have to pay. 870 01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:52,400 All the spice! London, Paris, Toronto. 871 01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:20,840 I'm on the escalator! 872 01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:40,520 Hey. 873 01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:56,720 - No! - Come on! 874 01:04:56,880 --> 01:05:00,880 Gentlemen, I've already told you! I know nothing! 875 01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:03,040 Come on, spit it out, you clown! 876 01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,440 Are you a real magician? 877 01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:08,640 No, I just go around dressed like this. 878 01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:12,280 Actually, yes. I go around dressed like this. 879 01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:15,920 If you're a magician, find them using your third eye! 880 01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,360 Aw, look at that muzzle! 881 01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:21,680 Is it a magic rabbit? 882 01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,640 Yes, he's Gaspare. He has telepathic powers. 883 01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:27,000 Why are you touching his ears? 884 01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:31,920 I told you! 885 01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:35,400 Listen to me, Stellini. Don't be a hero. Just speak. 886 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:37,760 - So? - Okay. 887 01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:42,160 - I'm going to find things out for you. - Good. 888 01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:48,480 Of course, we all know I have to go through the fifth dimension. 889 01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,040 - I can't do it. - He can't do it. Why not? 890 01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:05,720 I can't do it! I need to use a tool that's here behind me. 891 01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:08,880 - Can I turn and get it? - Please. 892 01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:13,080 Here we are. I'm setting it up. 893 01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:14,960 It's all-- 894 01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:20,160 It's spinning, the ship's wheel is spinning, 895 01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:22,240 and nobody can stop it-- 896 01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,480 What are you doing? That's embarrassing. 897 01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:27,920 Do you think we are rubes? 898 01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:29,120 Yuck. 899 01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:37,480 The ship's wheel. No one can stop it. 900 01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:15,400 Peekaboo! You think you're a magician. 901 01:07:15,800 --> 01:07:19,360 You thought you could hypnotize people just like that, you thought-- 902 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:22,320 - Hey! Tonino! - What, Vincenzo? 903 01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:24,200 It works. 904 01:07:24,720 --> 01:07:28,840 Well, you must believe in it. It's all an illusion. 905 01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:32,760 Really? Do you believe in this thing? Place your ha on the ta! 906 01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:35,080 - Place what? - Your ha on the ta! 907 01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:36,440 - My ham? - Your ha-- 908 01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:38,440 - Your hand on the table! - No. 909 01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:42,920 - Then-- - I'm actually having a vision! 910 01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:46,680 I see a blonde lady. 911 01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:51,320 - I see a blonde lady. - She's blonde, we got it. Go ahead. 912 01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:55,480 She's French. She passed out. 913 01:07:57,680 --> 01:07:59,360 Let's go to the emergency room! 914 01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:02,000 Go ahead. 915 01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:10,360 Oh, you're here. You didn't have to come, you know. 916 01:08:10,760 --> 01:08:11,880 How are you feeling? 917 01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:16,080 Well, I'm a bit all over the place. 918 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:20,400 What did the doctor say? Am I going to die tonight? 919 01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:23,320 No, you just passed out. It can happen, you know. 920 01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:27,000 One time, I went to a party, and had too many fries. 921 01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:30,920 Then, I went to play table tennis, had a thermic shock and, 922 01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:33,480 well, yeah, I passed out. 923 01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,560 It never happened to me. I've never passed out before. 924 01:08:37,160 --> 01:08:38,800 But you're a strong woman. 925 01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:41,920 I'm good at selling lies, huh? 926 01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:47,200 I'm such a loud person. You know, the music, the toasts, 927 01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:51,600 the charm, whatever. It's all bullshit. 928 01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:55,880 Whenever I had to deal with serious stuff in my life… 929 01:08:56,840 --> 01:08:58,440 I ran away. 930 01:09:01,480 --> 01:09:04,000 You know what? It's a good thing that I've passed out. 931 01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:09,160 At some point, we need a pause, right? Yeah. 932 01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:14,480 Or else, we keep moving and running at full speed, like horses. 933 01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:20,160 And now, I need to rest a bit. 934 01:09:20,640 --> 01:09:23,440 Come on, you guys go home. 935 01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:28,880 - I can take them home, and then come back. - No. Thank you, baby. 936 01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:31,640 You can't go anywhere with that black eye. 937 01:09:32,480 --> 01:09:33,960 Go home. 938 01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:03,960 What are you doing? Wait! Stop! 939 01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:06,520 - Stop! - Let's go for a ride. 940 01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:08,800 Careful! You see, I have a lazy collarbone. 941 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:12,680 - I have a lazy collarbone! - Let's go! 942 01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:18,560 Guys, let's calm down. 943 01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:20,960 Can I say something? We have nothing to do with this. 944 01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:22,440 Why did you run away then? 945 01:10:22,560 --> 01:10:25,720 You know, when I'm all tied up, I tend to loosen up and break free. 946 01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:29,840 - Typical me. - It's time for a makeover. 947 01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:33,440 Listen, I really like you. You're sweet. I love your people. 948 01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:37,600 The thing is that Tea has something that belongs to you, but we don't have it. 949 01:10:40,080 --> 01:10:42,280 Ta-da! The magic is done. 950 01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:45,680 - Tea, how are you? - Well, what do you think? 951 01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,640 Look at him. Blessed among women. 952 01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:51,120 My aunt used to say 953 01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:54,920 that a blind man lives well with his dog and his cane. 954 01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:58,600 He even wears sunglasses. But he still steps on shit. 955 01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:01,920 It's an interesting concept. Very graphic. 956 01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:04,240 Enough with this bullshit. Give them the money. 957 01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:06,080 What money? Please, not you too. 958 01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:09,840 Listen, you might think they want to play, but those are real hammers. 959 01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:11,920 Give them the envelope you got for me! 960 01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:15,680 I gave it to them, am I right? But it was full of postcards. 961 01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:19,520 - Postcards? - "Smack from Cervia." 962 01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:22,720 He got the wrong one! 963 01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:26,720 Sorry, I didn't know he was such an idiot. 964 01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:30,040 - He's a real dummy, a complete loser. - Hey, I only-- 965 01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:31,000 Listen. 966 01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:34,000 When you called me from that club, I still believed in you, but now-- 967 01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:37,480 You didn't go to the restroom. You called her behind my back. 968 01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,760 - You're a wretch. - Well, a wretch-- 969 01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:43,680 That's why you came back all cocky. "I love this place and these snacks!" 970 01:11:43,880 --> 01:11:49,000 - I really loved those snacks. - So? Give us the money! 971 01:11:49,440 --> 01:11:52,760 How much is it? Eight thousand euros? 972 01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,960 - Eight hundred. - Eight hundred thousand? 973 01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:56,800 - Eight hundred euros! - Eight hundred euros! 974 01:11:58,360 --> 01:11:59,840 We can sort it all out then! 975 01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:02,960 So, I have 50 euros with me. And you, Gaia? 976 01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:09,160 - Twenty euros. - And that's 70 euros. Tea? 977 01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:13,640 - One euro and seventy cents. - Great, and that's 71.70 euros in total. 978 01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:16,760 If you want, I can withdraw 100 euros from an ATM. 979 01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:20,160 I still haven't turned off parental controls on my credit card. 980 01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,880 You're insulting me, Martino. 981 01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:27,280 No! 982 01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:29,440 - No! - No! Wait! Stop! 983 01:12:29,640 --> 01:12:30,520 No! 984 01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:45,200 Take it, it's yours. 985 01:12:46,480 --> 01:12:50,040 You know, it's a Belpit gold watch. It's from the '30s. 986 01:12:50,560 --> 01:12:55,280 My grandfather got it from… Who cares. 987 01:12:55,480 --> 01:12:57,560 Who do you think we are? 988 01:12:57,800 --> 01:13:01,280 My grandfather was gifted a Bel-- Benefit too. 989 01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:03,600 A gold one. He got one. 990 01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:07,120 I mean, he got one just like this. 991 01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:18,400 I don't know. I can feel my hair is growing. 992 01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:21,680 My hair bulbs… But let's not talk about it. 993 01:13:22,560 --> 01:13:26,080 I want to keep this emotion to myself. You're a great scientist. 994 01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:30,120 You're charming, Martino. 995 01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:34,880 Tea, your boyfriend is cheating on you with that tennis player. 996 01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:38,120 Start the car! 997 01:13:39,360 --> 01:13:41,320 Benefit! 998 01:13:44,200 --> 01:13:45,520 Benefit! 999 01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:54,120 I mean, what a story, huh? 1000 01:13:54,560 --> 01:13:57,840 You gave them your watch. How cool was that? So clever. 1001 01:13:58,480 --> 01:14:01,440 I remember you. We went to the Manzoni school together-- 1002 01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:03,000 Manzoni? 1003 01:14:03,640 --> 01:14:05,080 Yeah, it was our school. 1004 01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:09,760 No, it's not Manzoni. It's Minzoni. I went to the Minzoni kindergarten. 1005 01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:16,960 Sorry, but after all this mess, you don't even know each other? 1006 01:14:34,560 --> 01:14:37,560 - I believe this is yours. - Thanks. 1007 01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:45,800 Anyway, Manzoni, Minzoni, Manzotti, I mean, who cares, right? 1008 01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:49,440 We've already come this far. Would you give me a ride? 1009 01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:53,840 Taxi! 1010 01:14:55,720 --> 01:14:57,840 Can you lend me some money? I have no cash. 1011 01:14:58,400 --> 01:15:01,000 "Call the widow Cincotti on the intercom. She never goes to sleep." 1012 01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,480 "Doormat, cabinet, yellow envelope. And keep it down." 1013 01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:05,520 - Got it, Martino, but-- - Good night! 1014 01:15:40,640 --> 01:15:41,880 So… 1015 01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:44,360 - Good night. - Night. 1016 01:16:16,600 --> 01:16:19,240 Next time, if Cafiero is invited, I'm not going. 1017 01:16:19,520 --> 01:16:22,640 And let's not talk about Mariella, his niece. 1018 01:16:22,840 --> 01:16:26,640 She's a jinx, a bird of ill omen. I bet she brings bad luck. 1019 01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:46,600 Who are they? 1020 01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:51,720 We're back. 1021 01:17:00,880 --> 01:17:03,360 Hey? Hey? 1022 01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:15,120 Lulù says that if a man leaves at dawn without saying goodbye, he's a peanut. 1023 01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:19,240 You guys didn't wake me up. I feel dumb. 1024 01:17:19,760 --> 01:17:22,600 Well, you looked quite dumb while you were asleep. 1025 01:17:24,240 --> 01:17:26,800 - And Tea? - She wasn't Tea. 1026 01:17:27,920 --> 01:17:30,080 Oh. Who was she, then? 1027 01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:34,840 To be honest with you, I have no idea. 1028 01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:38,440 And Gaia? 1029 01:17:40,040 --> 01:17:43,280 - What about her? - Well, I was just asking. 1030 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:47,040 It's interesting, because I was thinking about her too. 1031 01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:53,760 I think I screwed it all up. I mean, with Gaia. 1032 01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:59,640 She followed me around all night. It was so nice of her. 1033 01:18:03,480 --> 01:18:04,680 She's funny. 1034 01:18:05,320 --> 01:18:09,800 You see, what's so special about her is that she's funny without even trying. 1035 01:18:10,600 --> 01:18:15,960 I mean, she's funny without knowing it, which is funny enough on its own. 1036 01:18:16,640 --> 01:18:18,200 Well, just a bit. 1037 01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:21,320 And I didn't say a word. 1038 01:18:22,280 --> 01:18:25,400 But this time, I felt like I had to say something. 1039 01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:30,040 I don't know. How… how old are you, maybe? 1040 01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:34,360 I could have said something. How… many square meters… 1041 01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:39,920 I should have asked her out for breakfast. 1042 01:18:40,920 --> 01:18:43,880 What do you say? Hey? 1043 01:19:58,200 --> 01:19:59,160 So? 1044 01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:36,280 {\an8}TO CARLO MAZZACURATI AND PAOLO POLI 1045 01:23:18,680 --> 01:23:20,680 Subtitle translation by Noemi Zucca 77793

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