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♪ Hustle a lot, hustle a lot,
I'm all I got ♪
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00:00:03,473 --> 00:00:05,495
ZOEY: After a recent string of setbacks,
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00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:08,550
things were finally starting
to look up for young Zo-Zo.
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00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:10,454
♪ Snitches get stitches, money get... ♪
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00:00:10,486 --> 00:00:12,863
I'd successfully held down
a job at the bookstore
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00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:16,159
for two weeks
and only called in sick twice.
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00:00:16,823 --> 00:00:19,326
Shout-out to my work ethic!
8
00:00:19,351 --> 00:00:23,188
And I'd even complied with their
basic-ass khakis dress code.
9
00:00:23,213 --> 00:00:26,570
I was officially on my way
to financial freedom.
10
00:00:26,602 --> 00:00:28,416
- [Ding!]
- ♪ I'm tired and hungry ♪
11
00:00:28,441 --> 00:00:30,777
Well, not exactly freedom.
12
00:00:30,802 --> 00:00:33,809
- [Ding!]
- ♪ Hustlin', hustlin', hustlin', hustlin' ♪
13
00:00:33,842 --> 00:00:36,791
But at least like
a halfway house situation.
14
00:00:36,816 --> 00:00:40,658
But that wasn't all.
My academics had also improved.
15
00:00:40,683 --> 00:00:41,934
- [Ding!]
- ♪ Eating on steak and shrimp ♪
16
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,025
♪ Hustle a lot, hustle a lot ♪
17
00:00:43,050 --> 00:00:46,489
After all the hard work it took
to get my life back on track,
18
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,158
not to mention getting
my car back from Dad,
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I decided it was time to reward myself
20
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:55,175
with a weekend devoted to self-care.
21
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:59,735
And as much as I deserved it,
my girls needed it even more.
22
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,517
With Ana having her Aaron problems,
23
00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:05,274
and Nomi's situation
with Professor Hewson,
24
00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:07,244
I decided to take the MLK weekend...
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00:01:07,269 --> 00:01:08,675
- [Horn honks]
- ...and get out of town for a girls'
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00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:10,212
self-care retreat.
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Whoo!
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♪ Send you straight to meetcha maker ♪
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And where better to do that
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than at my parents' empty house.
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[Sighs] Ladies... welcome to serenity.
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JUNIOR: Psh.
33
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More like paradise.
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M'lady.
35
00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:29,299
♪♪
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M'nightmare.
37
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,937
♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪
38
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,639
♪ I'm grown ♪
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♪ Learn something new every day ♪
40
00:01:39,175 --> 00:01:41,711
♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪
41
00:01:41,743 --> 00:01:44,213
♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪
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00:01:44,246 --> 00:01:47,283
♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪
43
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♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪
44
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:52,689
- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪
45
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♪ My heart beating so loud ♪
46
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♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪
47
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♪ I'm grown ♪
48
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,570
What are you doing here?!
50
00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:09,238
And why in the world
did you not go skiing
51
00:02:09,271 --> 00:02:10,906
with the rest of the family?
52
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:14,210
You may not realize it, Zoey,
but it is exhausting
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00:02:14,244 --> 00:02:16,513
being our baby brother's
primary caregiver.
54
00:02:16,546 --> 00:02:18,882
Sometimes, I need
a break from skin-to-skin,
55
00:02:18,915 --> 00:02:20,382
and so does Devante.
56
00:02:20,416 --> 00:02:23,220
Whatever. Please just do not
bother us this weekend.
57
00:02:23,252 --> 00:02:25,154
Okay, Zoey! I see you!
58
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,222
Come through, Johnsons!
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00:02:26,256 --> 00:02:27,591
You know, I'm almost not mad at you
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00:02:27,624 --> 00:02:29,326
for making us miss
the Martin Luther King Parade
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00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,726
for the first time in our lives.
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00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,394
- Mm-hmm.
- Zo, I thought that you said
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you grew up wealthy, but I mean,
are these floors even heated?
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[Scoffs]
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Ladies! Welcome!
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00:02:39,302 --> 00:02:41,937
Please, make yourselves at home.
67
00:02:41,971 --> 00:02:44,441
There are plenty of beds for everyone.
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00:02:44,473 --> 00:02:47,543
I mean, obviously, you are
welcome to crash with me,
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00:02:47,577 --> 00:02:50,780
assuming that you're not
allergic to spider silk.
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00:02:50,812 --> 00:02:55,184
Um... can I actually talk to you
alone for a second?
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♪♪
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00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,192
Night... mare.
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00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:06,128
Junior. Sweet, sweet Junior.
74
00:03:06,162 --> 00:03:08,265
How do I say this gently?
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00:03:08,298 --> 00:03:13,235
You know, me and you,
we shared one drunken,
76
00:03:13,269 --> 00:03:15,872
sweaty night on the dance floor,
and you made it rain on me,
77
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:18,708
but, uh, that's pretty much
where it ends.
78
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,410
You know, you're my girl's
brother, and I...
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I just don't want this
to become a... a "thing."
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00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:28,618
Say no more.
I can read between the lines.
81
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:30,653
- Okay.
- You're afraid I'll hurt you.
82
00:03:30,686 --> 00:03:33,756
Plus dating a single parent
isn't for everyone.
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00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:36,425
ZOEY: You are not Devante's father!
84
00:03:36,459 --> 00:03:37,560
[Snaps fingers]
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[Whispers] Spider silk.
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00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:43,666
I'm disturbed.
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00:03:43,699 --> 00:03:46,636
[Sighs] Okay. Yeah.
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It's all taken care of.
89
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Great! Well, in that case...
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we are here this weekend
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00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:55,612
to cleanse our mind, body, and soul.
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Excuse me. I know Jesus.
My soul stays clean.
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00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,916
Okay, well, that means no phones
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00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,351
or social media,
95
00:04:02,384 --> 00:04:07,323
and definitely no alcohol,
drugs, or junk food.
96
00:04:07,357 --> 00:04:08,824
[Crunches]
97
00:04:08,858 --> 00:04:10,493
[Muffled] Well, I'm sorry,
but I'm not going through
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00:04:10,525 --> 00:04:13,295
this breakup without carbs.
99
00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,431
Do you have spaghetti
that I can dip this in?
100
00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:17,534
Honey, it wasn't, like,
really a breakup.
101
00:04:17,566 --> 00:04:19,501
- Yeah.
- You're right.
102
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:21,503
- [Scoffs]
- I don't even get the dignity
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00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:23,205
of a breakup title because I didn't even
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00:04:23,239 --> 00:04:24,506
get the relationship!
105
00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:27,319
Uh, well, this...
this here is exactly why
106
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,371
this weekend is so important.
107
00:04:29,404 --> 00:04:32,540
We need to heal ourselves
because no one else will.
108
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,599
Right. So how exactly does
the healing happen?
109
00:04:35,624 --> 00:04:37,077
- Mm-hmm.
- Good question.
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00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,748
By treating ourselves well,
clearing our heads,
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00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,283
and relaxing, which actually brings me
112
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,319
to our first self-care activity.
113
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[Giggles]
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Ooh!
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00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,825
Adult coloring books.
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00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,094
Ugh, white-people shit.
117
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,996
[Scoffs] And on MLK weekend.
118
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Mnh-mnh.
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00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,434
Hi, it's me, Aaron.
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00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,503
I'm a part of the Hawkins Brotherhood.
121
00:05:02,537 --> 00:05:06,474
While we here at Cal U enjoy
beautiful, well-kept facilities,
122
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,109
our surrounding community
isn't so fortunate.
123
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,477
There's no net here.
124
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:13,481
How do you know if you
make it or not, you know? So...
125
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:17,017
But we want to give these kids
the park they deserve.
126
00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:21,955
Uh, so, let's clean up
this park and pass...
127
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,590
a long-lasting legacy.
128
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,027
[Bleep]
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00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,862
[Chuckles]
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00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,364
- [Scattered applause]
- There you have it.
131
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,866
There you have it. You guys feel that?
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00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,601
That is why we are here.
133
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,869
We have four regulation
basketball courts
134
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,604
here in these privileged walls of Cal U,
135
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:40,709
but the kids on the next block
don't even have a net...
136
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,943
to put on their hoop.
137
00:05:41,976 --> 00:05:44,346
So, I want us to dig deep,
138
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,013
and let's show these kids
that Titans care!
139
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,622
We're taking donations right here.
140
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:48,916
So, uh, yeah.
141
00:05:48,941 --> 00:05:51,452
We Titans care! All right, whoo!
142
00:05:51,486 --> 00:05:53,488
- [Scattered applause]
- All right.
143
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,789
Play the music, play the music.
Thank you. Enjoy yourselves.
144
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,175
[Clears throat]
145
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,701
- What do you guys think?
- Call the cops, man!
146
00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,878
We murdered that video.
147
00:05:59,903 --> 00:06:02,120
Don't call anyone yet.
We didn't murder anything, okay?
148
00:06:02,145 --> 00:06:03,298
We still need donations.
149
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,332
What are we looking like on that?
150
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,700
$50... $50.
151
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,404
Are you kidding me? That's it?! Guys...
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00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:12,139
Bro, yo, give it some time, playboy.
153
00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:13,541
Yo, this joint's just getting started.
154
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,544
Doug, I need you circulating,
getting this conversation started.
155
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,678
We need donations.
156
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:20,548
Vivek, this music... What is it? Wrong.
157
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,182
We need something that makes
people want to give.
158
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,485
Like, uh, Gucci Mane or,
um... Michael McDonald.
159
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,986
- Gotcha.
- All right.
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00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:28,522
As for me, it's go time.
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00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,558
Ma'am!
162
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,530
Oh, isn't this so soothing?
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00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,432
No, it's whack.
164
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:41,436
I did not miss the MLK parade
to color dumbass mermaids.
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00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,938
We need some drinks. [Chuckles]
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00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,706
[Singsong voice] Look what I brought!
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00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,708
Yes! Let's celebrate these civil rights.
168
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,612
What? N-No! Guys, this weekend is
not about celebrating civil rights.
169
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,114
Huh?
170
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:55,450
And that sounded rough. Um, it is.
171
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,852
But it is also about celebrating us.
172
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,222
What kind of dry and dusty
celebration is this?
173
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,557
I am bored as hell.
174
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,590
- Yeah.
- Yes!
175
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,624
- Excuse me.
- I will get the cups!
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00:07:04,659 --> 00:07:08,529
Aw, y'all, we're gonna do
the ASMR videos next.
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00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:11,466
NOMI: [Clears throat]
"Dear Diary, Steve Newcomb
178
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,469
is def the Lupe Fiasco
of our middle school.
179
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,739
His Vines are like so on fleek!"
180
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:19,774
Oh, my God. Where did you get that?
181
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,775
I don't know, some random, sealed box
182
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,546
that had your name on it
and said "do not open."
183
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,713
- No. Well, guess what.
- Hmm?
184
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,650
My diary is not for public consumption.
185
00:07:28,683 --> 00:07:29,918
Respect my privacy.
186
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,652
Oh, come on!
187
00:07:31,686 --> 00:07:33,955
You have us locked up
in this bougie subdivision
188
00:07:33,988 --> 00:07:36,624
with no phones, no TV, and no [bleep].
189
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,058
Let us have some fun.
190
00:07:38,092 --> 00:07:39,727
#self-care.
191
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,094
- Fine.
- Yes.
192
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,431
But I... will be doing the reading.
193
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,499
- Okay.
- Yes!
194
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:45,933
Oh, my God, this one.
195
00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:48,503
"Dear Diary, I can't believe my mom came
196
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,505
to the roller rink
where Steve Newcomb and I
197
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,005
were couple skating.
198
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:55,510
O.M.G., tonight my life
literally ended."
199
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,743
So what happened?
200
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,080
Well, okay, all I did
was borrow a jacket
201
00:07:59,113 --> 00:08:01,950
she already told me I couldn't,
but I mean, it was so dope...
202
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,985
like, big, white collar,
striped, couture, you know?
203
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,754
Okay, that's baby bullshit
compared to what happened
204
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,691
with Sky when she wrote
down about her first
205
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,594
oral sex experience in her diary.
206
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,528
- Wait, how old were you?!
- Okay, hold on.
207
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,765
[Ding!]
208
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:21,636
Okay, I thought it meant just
talking about sex, okay?
209
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:22,770
[Laughter]
210
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,505
So one day, ashy-backed Gerald...
211
00:08:24,539 --> 00:08:26,508
[Ding!]
212
00:08:26,541 --> 00:08:29,643
...decided to tell the whole
class a sex story during recess,
213
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,678
and then I went home
and wrote in my diary
214
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,215
that I'd had oral sex
with ashy-backed Gerald...
215
00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:35,883
Wait for it.
216
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,017
...and then our dad read it.
217
00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:39,119
- Ohh!
- Oh, my gosh.
218
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,455
- That's so embarrassing!
- Are you serious?
219
00:08:40,488 --> 00:08:42,357
- Whoa!
- [Clears throat]
220
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:46,293
Sorry for the interruption,
ladies, but I just worked out.
221
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,529
Please try not to stare.
You might hurt your eyes.
222
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,063
[Laughter]
223
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,032
Ignore him.
224
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,202
Um, oh, wait, guys. Listen to this.
225
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,671
This one is hilarious. Um...
226
00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:01,876
"Dear Diary, Hailey
thinks she is so friggin' cool
227
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,044
with her rose gold iPod Touch..."
228
00:09:04,078 --> 00:09:05,713
- [Chuckles]
- "...but I don't even care
229
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,482
because while she's making
Harlem Shake videos,
230
00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:11,486
I'm over here setting goals." [Chuckles]
231
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,720
"By the time I'm 20,
I'll have my own blog..."
232
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:16,590
Well, I had a makeup vlog in,
like, high school,
233
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,724
so chiggity check!
234
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,927
- Okay.
- Okay.
235
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,863
"...I'll start my own fashion label..."
236
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,698
You didn't do that.
237
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,433
"...which Frank Ocean
will wear in one of his videos
238
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,235
for like his fifth album..."
239
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,937
[Scoffs] That definitely didn't happen.
240
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:33,674
"I cannot wait to leave L.A.
the moment I turn 18
241
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:37,545
and take the world by storm.
242
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:41,182
I know it'll be difficult
juggling being a college student
243
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:46,620
and having a fashion career,
but I know I can do it."
244
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:50,023
Oh, Zoey, you know
what else you didn't do?
245
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,892
- Hmm?
- Any of that! [Laughs]
246
00:09:51,926 --> 00:09:54,561
Sorry, Diary. But you did eventually get
247
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:58,298
an iPod Touch... that I broke, so...
248
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,436
♪♪
249
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,977
ZOEY: Reading "Young Zoey's"
dreams and realizing
250
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:10,277
how short "College Zoey" had
fallen of accomplishing them,
251
00:10:10,311 --> 00:10:14,081
it became clear I didn't
deserve to be rewarded at all.
252
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,750
What are you doing, Zo? You okay?
253
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,719
Yeah, I don't know.
254
00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:21,623
Look at all this stuff...
ribbons and good grades
255
00:10:21,656 --> 00:10:25,392
and birthday cards from my dad
to his favorite child.
256
00:10:25,426 --> 00:10:27,996
This was me less than three
years ago, and I...
257
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:31,832
I just... I just feel embarrassed.
258
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,434
Like, how did I get so far off track?
259
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,271
Okay, Zoey, step away from the box.
260
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,741
Sit down. It's okay.
261
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,743
Embarrassment is being
dumped on your own balcony
262
00:10:42,777 --> 00:10:45,412
by a guy you're not even
in a relationship with.
263
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,210
I would've jumped. Or pushed his ass.
264
00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:48,749
Either way, somebody would've wound up
265
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,827
- on that street.
- Yeah.
266
00:10:49,852 --> 00:10:52,086
Okay, but I'm working at a bookstore.
267
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:55,455
That has nothing... zero...
to do with fashion.
268
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,792
I totally get starting at
the bottom... it's necessary...
269
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,827
but this isn't even the right bottom.
270
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,796
Like, I should be so much further ahead.
271
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,032
I get it. I thought I'd be some
272
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,868
Olympic gold medalist by now.
273
00:11:06,901 --> 00:11:08,703
And Sky would at least be bronze.
274
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,203
Your mama's bronze.
275
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,873
All right, you guys,
we need to relax here.
276
00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:14,842
We're 19, okay? We have plenty of time
277
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,210
to establish our careers
and our love lives.
278
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:20,882
Well... you can say that, Nomi,
because you're good.
279
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:22,116
You have straight A's.
280
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,484
No financial pressures.
281
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,219
No relationship drama.
282
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,188
Oh, my God, come on.
You guys are acting like
283
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,022
I live this charmed life with, like,
284
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,958
heated floors and organic applesauce.
285
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:34,394
Okay, I have... I have things
that I'm dealing with.
286
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,998
- Like what?!
- Name one. Just one.
287
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,668
Like I'm dating Professor Hewson.
288
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,703
- What?!
- Huh?
289
00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:44,872
- Huh?
- Hold on. What?!
290
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:45,707
Who?
291
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,842
♪♪
292
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,510
How's it looking?
293
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,646
Horrible. Got it.
294
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,082
Uh, excuse me, fellas.
295
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,883
Hey, not to interrupt, uh...
I don't know if you saw me.
296
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,186
I'm Aaron, the dude
from the video earlier...
297
00:11:58,219 --> 00:12:00,588
well-directed, well-acted...
and I was just asking, uh,
298
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,823
if you'd be willing to donate to
these kids in our community, man.
299
00:12:02,857 --> 00:12:04,826
It would help out a lot,
and I see your kicks,
300
00:12:04,859 --> 00:12:06,359
so I know you got it. All right?
301
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,495
Yeah, I'm wit' it.
Love what you're doing.
302
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,364
Really? Thank you.
That means a lot, bro.
303
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,100
Guys, you see what I'm talking about?
304
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,568
This man, um...
305
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,703
- Mauricio.
- ...Mau... Mauricio
306
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,439
is stepping up and being the change
307
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,906
that he wants to see in the world.
308
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,844
Now, Mauricio just
generously donated to us...
309
00:12:22,877 --> 00:12:24,779
$5. $5?
310
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,047
What are these kids supposed
to do with $5?
311
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,249
Um, I said "be the change,"
not "give me change."
312
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,884
- Do you wanna up this...
- Bro, relax.
313
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,387
On top of that $5, I paid $10 to get in.
314
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,756
Fall back.
315
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,123
Fall back.
316
00:12:36,157 --> 00:12:37,557
How about you fall back on my drinks?
317
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,926
I've seen you drink
at least $30 worth of Cuban rum,
318
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,195
but all you can give these kids is $5?
319
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,464
That's the type of man you are?
320
00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:44,987
Man [bleep] you and them kids.
321
00:12:45,012 --> 00:12:46,190
- Who you talking to?
- Chill.
322
00:12:46,215 --> 00:12:47,541
- Y'all better get your boy!
- No, who you talking to?!
323
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:49,362
He don't know 'Ricio.
Like, for real, for real.
324
00:12:49,387 --> 00:12:50,947
No, you know what?
All y'all drinking and eating
325
00:12:50,972 --> 00:12:54,541
for free, you don't give
a damn about the community!
326
00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:57,244
Is Professor Hewson the one
who called you a misogynist?
327
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,113
You called me a misogynist.
328
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,915
- Yeah.
- Hold up, is that how you got
329
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,883
an "A" in that class
while I've been busy
330
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,619
busting my ass over this
boring feminism propaganda?
331
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,156
No. I got an "A" because
I'm an "A" student.
332
00:13:08,189 --> 00:13:09,457
And we didn't even start dating
333
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,959
until the semester was over... ish.
334
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,962
Even so, she's still the professor,
335
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,730
and you're the student.
336
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,299
You don't think that's
a messed-up power dynamic?
337
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,903
Is it? They're two consenting adults.
338
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,305
- Yeah.
- With a 20-year age difference!
339
00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,240
So what? It works out for Sarah Paulson
340
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:27,908
and whatever old lady she's dating.
341
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,243
And can you imagine
how wrong it would feel
342
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,314
if she was a 40-year-old male professor?
343
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:36,683
But she's not, and a lot of things
344
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,287
would be different if
the genders were reversed.
345
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,922
Guys, I honestly think it's fine.
346
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,490
Well, how do you feel?
347
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,458
You've just been sitting here
quiet the whole time.
348
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,995
I mean, I'm sure you have
something to say.
349
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,864
Mm-hmm.
350
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,300
I already know how Zoey feels.
351
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:53,301
- Yeah.
- How?
352
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,837
What? Wait, you told her?
353
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,772
[Gasping]
354
00:13:57,805 --> 00:13:59,507
Not exactly.
355
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:05,646
♪♪
356
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,983
Wow! We are the most
secret-keeping group of bitches
357
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,618
I have ever met.
358
00:14:10,651 --> 00:14:11,719
[Exhales sharply]
359
00:14:11,752 --> 00:14:13,054
I'm proud of us.
360
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:16,623
Okay, fine, you know what? I-I think...
361
00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:20,161
I think that Nomi
is an amazing human being,
362
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:23,130
and I honestly trust
whatever she chooses
363
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:24,565
is right for her.
364
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:27,335
And that's Professor Hewson.
365
00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:29,003
- Wow.
- Yeah.
366
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,304
Thank you, Zoey.
367
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,404
Of course.
368
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,874
But I still think that telling
the both of you was a big mistake.
369
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,642
You guys are honestly being harsher
370
00:14:35,676 --> 00:14:37,711
than Paige even predicted you would be.
371
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:41,181
Okay, you know, no judgment,
Nomi, just pure curiosity.
372
00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:44,730
Like, what led you to smashing
our gross old-lady professor?
373
00:14:44,755 --> 00:14:46,586
Okay, you're gross, first of all,
374
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,255
and Paige is amazing, okay?
375
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,657
And we have a real connection.
376
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,360
She's smart, and she's interesting,
377
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,062
and she's given me
so much great life advice.
378
00:14:56,095 --> 00:14:57,998
I mean, she's the reason
why I was honest
379
00:14:58,032 --> 00:15:00,100
and finally came out
to my parents, okay?
380
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,903
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm really happy for you.
381
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,071
Thank you.
382
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,507
I'ma pray for you.
383
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:09,075
Yeah, you know what?
This is exactly why Paige
384
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,378
told me not to say
anything, because people
385
00:15:10,411 --> 00:15:12,513
- are narrow-minded.
- Okay, fine.
386
00:15:12,546 --> 00:15:14,047
I'ma pray for Paige's old ass, too.
387
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,916
Mm-hmm. God is good.
388
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,051
I need to smoke.
389
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,585
- I need a drink.
- I need spaghetti.
390
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,719
Are you serious?
391
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,254
[Sighs] Okay.
392
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:24,591
♪♪
393
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:34,701
♪♪
394
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:38,104
We're just six hours into
my self-care weekend,
395
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,974
and it's already a total bust.
396
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:44,277
Per usual, yet another one
of my well-intentioned goals
397
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,247
just dies a-a painful...
398
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,582
- [Jazz screams]
- Oh, my God!
399
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,350
Uh!
400
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,486
- Oh, my God!
- What happened?
401
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,721
[All gasp]
402
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,157
Excuse you! What?!
403
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,960
I thought we were practicing self-care.
404
00:15:58,993 --> 00:16:00,628
Hmm.
405
00:16:00,661 --> 00:16:02,864
[Gagging]
406
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,501
- Don't worry about them.
- Okay.
407
00:16:08,002 --> 00:16:09,904
Wow.
408
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,072
Wow.
409
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,707
Wow!
410
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:19,013
[Inhales sharply] I'm not
gonna lie, I'm pretty happy that
411
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:22,083
the heat about inappropriate
relationships is off me.
412
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,450
Oh.
413
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:26,921
What?
414
00:16:26,954 --> 00:16:28,989
She's the one who brought up
self-care at me,
415
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:30,791
and I was just trying to stay on theme.
416
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,993
[Laughter]
417
00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:34,195
Wha...
418
00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,763
It is not funny, guys!
419
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,099
- I'm sorry.
- It's kinda funny.
420
00:16:38,132 --> 00:16:39,333
I do not know
421
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:42,268
what the hell is
so amusing about all this!
422
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,171
I mean, I just watched my little brother
423
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,007
and one of my best friends in the tub
424
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,009
doing God knows what to your feet!
425
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,009
Oh, I can tell you.
426
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,878
TOGETHER: No!
427
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,880
Ugh! You know what?
428
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,681
Self-care weekend is officially over,
429
00:16:54,715 --> 00:16:57,785
so y'all can do whatever you
wanna do because I have failed.
430
00:16:57,817 --> 00:16:59,819
NOMI: Listen, okay,
you made a valiant effort,
431
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,789
but you can't just carve out
a weekend and then suddenly
432
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:04,058
- expect everything to be solved.
- Mm-hmm.
433
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:07,293
Yeah, Zoey, it's like how
you are with your curls.
434
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,628
It just doesn't happen overnight.
435
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,196
- It's a process.
- Mm-hmm.
436
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,666
First you start off
by trimming off the dead ends,
437
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,234
then you gotta find the right products,
438
00:17:14,268 --> 00:17:16,170
then you pineapple it at night,
439
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,071
and then you plunk it in the morning.
440
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,408
It's about maintenance.
Just like self-care.
441
00:17:20,441 --> 00:17:23,177
Yeah, you practice
a little bit of it every day.
442
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,678
And, you know, you can't
get curl and life goals
443
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,915
in one weekend.
444
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,483
Wow, you're right.
445
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,518
Well, you know what? I just wish
you would've told me that
446
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,487
before I spent my last check
on those coloring books.
447
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,424
- [Laughter]
- I said I wanted spaghetti!
448
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,757
JAZZ: Yes.
449
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,592
Should we have, um, spaghetti and wine?
450
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,862
- I would really love that.
- Spaghetti and wine!
451
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,497
Spaghetti and wine!
452
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,166
Spaghetti and wine!
453
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,735
Yo, bro, you need to
calm that down, man.
454
00:17:48,769 --> 00:17:50,905
Real talk, you don't want
problems with 'Ricio.
455
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,174
This can't just be about
Mauricio and that dumb donation.
456
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,774
No, it's not just that, okay?
457
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,211
It's the fact that I...
I've been busy being an R.A.,
458
00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,214
I've been busy partying, and
this whole Zoey and Ana thing.
459
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,082
You know?
This is the first time this year
460
00:18:02,116 --> 00:18:04,218
that I've done a fundraiser,
and I couldn't even get a stack
461
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,020
to help clean up a park, you know?
462
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:09,389
I've... I just feel
like I've lost focus.
463
00:18:09,423 --> 00:18:11,592
Hey, come on, man.
464
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,963
Don't be so hard on yourself, man.
465
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,197
Look.
466
00:18:17,231 --> 00:18:19,532
I think if you take
a look at this total,
467
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:23,137
you'll see you surpassed your goal.
468
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,938
Are you serious? You... You did this?
469
00:18:24,972 --> 00:18:27,041
Yeah, man! You inspired me!
470
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,109
Yeah, I see you out here doing
your little activism thing,
471
00:18:29,143 --> 00:18:30,277
and I admire that.
472
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,746
And plus, I'm a very successful
drug dealer, you know.
473
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,216
I am genuinely touched, man. Thank you.
474
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:39,119
All right, cute,
but y'all wanna wrap this up?
475
00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:40,921
We're sitting ducks out here.
476
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,224
Big 'Ricio never forgets, man.
477
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:46,060
Man, will you chill, please?
Nobody's worried about Big 'Ricio.
478
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,094
- Hold up.
- What?
479
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,664
Why does that Jetta
not have his headlights on?
480
00:18:51,031 --> 00:18:52,666
[Tires squeal]
481
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,834
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
482
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,771
So, in some weird way,
the self-care weekend
483
00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,273
had actually turned out to be a success.
484
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:04,311
We didn't need all the coloring
books, tea, or clean eating.
485
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,846
Apparently, we just
needed some quality time
486
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,082
to purge some of our secrets.
487
00:19:09,116 --> 00:19:11,185
- [Cheering]
- And a good laugh at my brother's expense.
488
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:12,519
There we go!
489
00:19:15,438 --> 00:19:19,160
"Dear Diary, if I had to pick
one thing to do
490
00:19:19,193 --> 00:19:21,829
for my 14th birthday party,
it would be to raid
491
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,264
my mother's closet and do a fashion show
492
00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:25,366
with my best friends."
493
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:29,869
[Gasps] Here it is...
the infamous jacket.
494
00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,372
- This woman throws nothing away.
- Oh, my God.
495
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,941
Oh, my gosh. Dude, your mom's clothes
496
00:19:33,974 --> 00:19:35,309
are so sick.
497
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,511
I know. I mean,
this jacket was almost worth
498
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,345
the roller-rink humiliation.
499
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:40,680
- [Chuckling]
- Oh, yeah.
500
00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:42,816
- [Gasps]
- Huh?
501
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,952
- Wh...
- You guys...
502
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,820
You know what we should do?
503
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,955
[Gasps]
504
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,122
[Gasps]
505
00:19:49,156 --> 00:19:50,191
Yes, please.
506
00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:52,792
- [Cheering]
- ♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪
507
00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:54,395
♪ Don't say it 'cause I know I'm cute ♪
508
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,396
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
509
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,830
♪ Louis down to my drawers ♪
510
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,565
♪ LV all on my shoes ♪
511
00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:00,734
- ♪ Ooh, baby ♪
- ♪ I be drippin' so much sauce ♪
512
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,735
♪ Gotta been lookin' like... ♪
513
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,805
- ♪ Ooh, baby ♪
- ♪ Lit up like a crystal ball ♪
514
00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:06,373
♪ That's cool, baby, so is you ♪
515
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:07,741
♪ That's how I roll ♪
516
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:10,410
♪ If I'm shiny, everybody gonna shine ♪
517
00:20:10,444 --> 00:20:11,744
♪ Yeah, I'm goals ♪
518
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,215
♪ I was born like this,
don't even gotta try ♪
519
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,582
♪ Now you know ♪
520
00:20:15,616 --> 00:20:18,419
♪ I like Chardonnay,
get better over time ♪
521
00:20:18,452 --> 00:20:20,221
♪ So you know, it ain't my fault ♪
522
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,388
♪ That I'm out here gettin' loose ♪
523
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,391
♪ Gotta blame it on the... ♪
524
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,359
♪ Gotta blame it on my juice ♪
525
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,329
♪ Ya-ya-ee ♪
526
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,430
♪ Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee ♪
527
00:20:30,464 --> 00:20:31,432
♪ Ya-ya-ee ♪
528
00:20:31,465 --> 00:20:32,599
♪ Blame it on my juice ♪
529
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,434
♪ Blame it, blame it on my juice ♪
530
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,936
♪ Ya-ya-ee ♪
531
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:36,936
♪ Ya-ya-ee ♪
532
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,339
♪ Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee ♪
533
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,372
♪ Ya-ya-ee ♪
534
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,741
♪ Blame it on my juice ♪
535
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,343
♪ Blame it, blame it on my juice ♪
536
00:20:43,377 --> 00:20:44,478
[Laughter]
40078
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