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1
00:00:01,623 --> 00:00:05,210
- They're not bad.
- If you wait your turn, you'll be too old.
2
00:00:05,335 --> 00:00:07,545
- You comin'?
- Yeah, we're comin'. Right?
3
00:00:07,670 --> 00:00:09,839
Hey, you bet. Let me at 'em!
4
00:00:14,303 --> 00:00:18,557
- This is it. Peachtree Street.
- Kind of a crummy neighbourhood.
5
00:00:18,682 --> 00:00:21,810
She ain't sellin' stocks and bonds.
I don't believe this guy.
6
00:00:21,935 --> 00:00:24,855
Gene, can you lend me ten bucks
in case I wanna go twice?
7
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:27,275
Twi... You mean she charges every time...
8
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,611
Yeah, she has a cash register
on her bed.
9
00:00:29,736 --> 00:00:33,448
- Will you come on?
- How does she know you had one?
10
00:00:33,573 --> 00:00:38,912
Your eyes spin around and when they stop
on two pineapples, you had one!
11
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,252
21. This is it.
12
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:01,227
- Looks like a place that sells radio parts.
- What did we bring this guy for?
13
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,855
- Let's toss for who goes first.
- I go first.
14
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:08,444
Yeah, I meant the rest of us
will toss. Naturally you go first.
15
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,991
A half an hour he's been in there!
16
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:17,119
If he doesn't hurry up,
I'm gonna pass my peak.
17
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:20,207
Hey, what if she's ugly?
I mean, really ugly?
18
00:01:20,332 --> 00:01:22,584
Close your eyes
and think of a cheerleader.
19
00:01:22,709 --> 00:01:26,421
I don't wanna close my eyes.
That's the same as doing it to yourself.
20
00:01:26,546 --> 00:01:30,508
Not if you're feelin' someone
underneath you, or on top of you.
21
00:01:30,635 --> 00:01:34,347
On top of me?
Who would be on top of me?
22
00:01:34,472 --> 00:01:36,766
She would. She could be anywhere.
23
00:01:36,891 --> 00:01:40,186
Under a table, on a chair
or an ironing board.
24
00:01:40,311 --> 00:01:42,104
On an ironing board?
25
00:01:42,229 --> 00:01:45,608
What kind of a girl is this? I thought
we were going to a regular place.
26
00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,778
Don't you know anything?
27
00:01:48,737 --> 00:01:52,991
Maybe not in actual experience,
but I have all the information I need.
28
00:01:53,116 --> 00:01:57,537
You don't know shit, Jerome. Do you
know how many positions there are?
29
00:01:57,663 --> 00:02:02,793
- American or worldwide?
- This guy is a riot!
30
00:02:02,919 --> 00:02:06,339
For five bucks,
how many positions are there?
31
00:02:06,464 --> 00:02:08,841
- Lemme think.
- You want me to tell you?
32
00:02:08,966 --> 00:02:12,428
- No.
- There are 17 acceptable positions.
33
00:02:12,554 --> 00:02:16,224
Acceptable? What is there, an Olympic
committee that votes on positions?
34
00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:18,643
I can't believe this guy is from New York.
35
00:02:18,769 --> 00:02:21,938
Besides, you're wrong.
There's 52 positions.
36
00:02:22,064 --> 00:02:25,692
52?! You're crazy!
Where did you ever get that from?
37
00:02:25,818 --> 00:02:28,488
I saw a dirty deck of cards once.
38
00:02:29,322 --> 00:02:31,782
This jerk is worse than Epstein.
39
00:02:31,908 --> 00:02:35,411
- You owe me five bucks.
- Hey, listen, twerp...
40
00:02:35,536 --> 00:02:37,955
...you're lucky if you do one position.
41
00:02:38,081 --> 00:02:40,375
I'm not doing anything
on an ironing board.
42
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:43,587
Why not?
You'll get your shirt pressed for free.
43
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,632
Well? Tell us. Tell us!
44
00:02:46,757 --> 00:02:49,217
She wants to see me again after the war.
45
00:02:53,264 --> 00:02:55,975
See you fellas at the USO.
46
00:02:58,186 --> 00:02:59,854
OK, whose turn is it?
47
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:03,566
You go ahead. I just had lunch.
I don't wanna get cramps.
48
00:03:03,691 --> 00:03:05,443
Yeah.
49
00:03:05,569 --> 00:03:08,864
I'll try and leave
a little somethin' for you guys.
50
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,284
Hey, how you doin'?
51
00:03:24,172 --> 00:03:28,968
If you're nervous about this, we don't have
to do this. There's that dance at the USO.
52
00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:33,639
Oh, no, I wanna do it. I don't mean
I wanna do it. I think I should do it.
53
00:03:33,766 --> 00:03:35,893
I mean, eventually I have to do it, right?
54
00:03:36,018 --> 00:03:38,061
Well, yeah, eventually.
55
00:03:39,688 --> 00:03:43,150
Look, why don't we go to the dance?
We can always come back later.
56
00:03:43,275 --> 00:03:46,153
Yeah. We could always come back later.
57
00:03:54,954 --> 00:03:59,000
- Don't tell the guys I didn't do it.
- They'll know. They'll see it on your face.
58
00:03:59,126 --> 00:04:01,962
No, they won't. I'm a good actor.
I can act like I did it.
59
00:04:02,087 --> 00:04:04,131
Come on, let's just go.
60
00:04:05,299 --> 00:04:08,344
My cap. Shit! I left my cap upstairs.
61
00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:10,512
Well, go get it.
62
00:04:13,683 --> 00:04:16,478
You're through already? That was fast.
63
00:04:16,603 --> 00:04:20,315
I never even made it to the bed.
I knew I hit my peak too soon.
64
00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:33,203
You the only one left, honey?
65
00:04:33,329 --> 00:04:36,123
What? Oh, yeah, I guess I am.
66
00:04:36,832 --> 00:04:41,170
Well, let's get goin', sugar.
I got some navy boys comin' at two.
67
00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:50,055
very pleased to meet you.
68
00:05:05,654 --> 00:05:09,158
Hey, come on, kid. I ain't got all day.
69
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:20,337
- It's chilly in here, isn't it?
- Yeah
70
00:05:20,462 --> 00:05:22,714
About 96 degrees!
71
00:05:23,841 --> 00:05:29,013
Keep your shorts on if you want, but I've
a rule against wearin' army shoes to bed.
72
00:05:29,138 --> 00:05:30,639
Oh.
73
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:33,184
I was just about to take them off.
74
00:05:33,309 --> 00:05:35,769
I always take them off.
75
00:05:35,896 --> 00:05:38,565
You don't mind
a little perfume, do ya, honey?
76
00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:44,237
There was a boy this mornin' with a gallon
of Aqua velva. Nearly drove me crazy.
77
00:05:44,362 --> 00:05:47,282
Oh, that's OK.
You could even spray some on me.
78
00:05:54,206 --> 00:05:56,375
Gee, that smells good.
79
00:05:56,500 --> 00:06:01,380
If you'd like a bottle for your girlfriend,
I sell 'em $5 apiece.
80
00:06:01,506 --> 00:06:04,926
- You sell perfume, too?
- I sell hard-to-get items.
81
00:06:05,051 --> 00:06:07,637
Silk stockings, black panties.
82
00:06:07,763 --> 00:06:11,057
- You interested?
- Do you carry men's clothing?
83
00:06:12,809 --> 00:06:15,687
Oh, that's cute. You're cute, honey.
84
00:06:17,064 --> 00:06:20,109
Is this your first time?
85
00:06:20,234 --> 00:06:22,320
My first time?
86
00:06:22,445 --> 00:06:24,822
Are you kidding? That's funny.
87
00:06:24,947 --> 00:06:26,824
No.
88
00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:29,577
It's my second time.
89
00:06:29,703 --> 00:06:32,039
First time they were closed.
90
00:06:32,164 --> 00:06:35,292
You don't smoke cigarettes either, do ya?
91
00:06:35,417 --> 00:06:39,546
- How d'you know that?
- Looked like your face was on fire.
92
00:06:39,671 --> 00:06:43,383
You wanna look older,
why don't you try a moustache?
93
00:06:44,802 --> 00:06:47,763
- What's your name?
- Rowena. What's yours?
94
00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:49,932
- It's Eug...
- Eug?
95
00:06:50,057 --> 00:06:51,976
It's a huge name.
96
00:06:52,101 --> 00:06:54,812
It's Jack Bobby Lou Mulgreevy.
97
00:06:54,937 --> 00:06:57,982
- Where you from, Bobby Lou?
- Texarkana.
98
00:06:58,108 --> 00:07:00,986
- Is that right?
- Yes, ma'am.
99
00:07:01,111 --> 00:07:03,822
Is that Texas or Arkansas?
100
00:07:03,947 --> 00:07:06,992
- Arkansas, I think.
- You think?
101
00:07:07,117 --> 00:07:10,829
Well, we left there when
I was two and moved to Georgia.
102
00:07:10,955 --> 00:07:13,416
Really? You a Cracker?
103
00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:16,919
- What's a Cracker?
- Someone from Georgia.
104
00:07:17,044 --> 00:07:19,422
Oh, yeah, I'm a Cracker.
105
00:07:19,547 --> 00:07:21,591
Whole family's crackers.
106
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,345
- Were you born in Biloxi?
- No. Gulfport.
107
00:07:25,471 --> 00:07:27,848
I still live there with my husband.
108
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:31,143
Your husband! You're married?
109
00:07:31,268 --> 00:07:35,063
- God, he'll kill me if he finds me here.
- No, he won't.
110
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:39,109
- Does he know that you're a...
- Why, sure he does. That's how we met.
111
00:07:39,235 --> 00:07:41,070
He's in the Coast Guard.
112
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:43,948
He was one of my best customers.
He still is.
113
00:07:45,158 --> 00:07:47,410
You mean you charge your own husband?
114
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:50,204
I mean he's my best lover.
115
00:07:51,457 --> 00:07:56,795
You gonna do it from there, cowboy,
cos I'll have to make some adjustments.
116
00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:01,175
- I was just waiting for you to get ready.
- I'm always ready, sugar.
117
00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:05,470
You wanna pull down the window shade?
118
00:08:05,597 --> 00:08:07,432
Sure.
119
00:08:22,865 --> 00:08:25,659
You scared, honey, first time an' all?
120
00:08:25,784 --> 00:08:29,329
- A little, I guess.
- Don't fret about it.
121
00:08:29,455 --> 00:08:33,542
When it's a boy's first time
it makes it feel like it's my first time.
122
00:08:41,676 --> 00:08:44,053
D'you like the left side or the right?
123
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:47,766
If we do it right, hon,
we're gonna use both sides.
124
00:08:47,892 --> 00:08:49,518
You come to Mama now.
125
00:08:51,979 --> 00:08:55,190
Would it be OK
if we didn't use the word "Mama"?
126
00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:58,861
It makes me think of my mother
and that sort of kills it, you know?
127
00:08:58,987 --> 00:09:00,822
Sure.
128
00:09:06,453 --> 00:09:08,455
That's a boy.
129
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,623
There, now.
130
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:14,128
Come on.
131
00:09:15,921 --> 00:09:19,925
OK, honey, do your stuff.
132
00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:22,011
What stuff is that?
133
00:09:22,136 --> 00:09:26,348
Whatever you like to do.
Didn't anyone ever teach you anything?
134
00:09:26,474 --> 00:09:31,396
Well, my brother showed me a few things.
You look a lot different from my brother.
135
00:09:31,521 --> 00:09:33,648
Oh, you're sweet.
136
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:36,401
I went to high school with a boy like you.
137
00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:38,653
Had the biggest damn crush on him.
138
00:09:40,072 --> 00:09:42,742
Listen, don't be offended...
139
00:09:42,867 --> 00:09:46,162
...but this doesn't have to be
the greatest experience of my life.
140
00:09:46,287 --> 00:09:48,873
I really just wanted to get it over with.
141
00:09:48,998 --> 00:09:52,668
Well, you just let Rowena
take care of everything, honey.
142
00:09:52,794 --> 00:09:56,923
All you gotta do is put
your arms around me. Come on.
143
00:09:58,675 --> 00:10:00,719
That's it.
144
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:09,895
There, now, you're doin' fine.
145
00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:12,523
- You got your knee on my stomach.
- I'm sorry.
146
00:10:12,648 --> 00:10:14,942
Let's get those shorts off.
147
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:18,404
That's better. Now, isn't that better?
148
00:10:18,529 --> 00:10:21,282
Oh. Oh, God!
149
00:10:21,408 --> 00:10:23,076
Oh!
150
00:10:23,201 --> 00:10:24,327
Oh, God!
151
00:10:24,453 --> 00:10:26,913
Relax, hon. Nothin' to it, sugar.
152
00:10:27,038 --> 00:10:29,916
You're not breathin'. Breathe!
153
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:32,043
My nose is running.
154
00:10:32,169 --> 00:10:34,087
No, I'm OK.
155
00:10:34,213 --> 00:10:36,757
Don't stop, baby, you're gettin' there.
156
00:10:36,883 --> 00:10:38,301
Oh.
157
00:10:38,426 --> 00:10:40,094
Oh, jeez.
158
00:10:40,219 --> 00:10:41,929
Oh, my God!
159
00:10:42,054 --> 00:10:44,307
Oh. Oh...
160
00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:48,895
You did it, babe!
161
00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:51,398
I did it. I did it.
162
00:11:00,074 --> 00:11:02,743
- Not too close, please.
- Oh, forgive me.
163
00:11:06,247 --> 00:11:11,294
- You girls always wear white gloves?
- It's proper attire for a lady at a dance.
164
00:11:11,419 --> 00:11:14,547
In the old days a man would
hold a handkerchief in his hand...
165
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:17,217
...so as not to touch
the bare back of his partner.
166
00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:20,429
No kiddin'? Next time
I'll come here in a tank.
167
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:28,353
You can't get near these girls
unless you're a priest.
168
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,106
Aw, who wants to?
169
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,526
- Nothin' better than what we had. Right?
- Right, yeah.
170
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,738
That Rowena's a real
roller coaster, ain't she?
171
00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:40,992
Hey, there.
172
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,832
- Hey. Hi, guys, what's cookin'?
- How'd it go?
173
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:50,294
How'd it go? It was fine as wine.
Sorta chatty, know what I mean?
174
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:53,088
Chatty? First time
in the sack with a pro was chatty?
175
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,049
Real smooth. Second time
was swing, swing, swing.
176
00:11:56,175 --> 00:12:00,305
- Second time? You paid twice?
- No, it was a freebie. On the house.
177
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:05,476
- Why would she give you a free one?
- Maybe I was her one millionth customer.
178
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,645
Think I'll look around.
179
00:12:09,982 --> 00:12:11,817
Bullshit artist.
180
00:12:11,942 --> 00:12:13,986
Let's get outta here.
181
00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:35,383
Would you care to dance?
182
00:12:37,094 --> 00:12:40,514
- What?
- I said would you care to dance?
183
00:12:41,098 --> 00:12:43,934
Oh. I don't dance very well.
184
00:12:44,059 --> 00:12:47,980
- I bet you do.
- No, I swear. I never dance.
185
00:12:48,105 --> 00:12:52,109
- Then why did you come to a dance?
- It's a good question.
186
00:12:52,235 --> 00:12:54,320
I like to listen to music...
187
00:12:54,446 --> 00:12:58,908
...and I was hoping that I'd meet
somebody I could talk to. I like to talk.
188
00:12:59,868 --> 00:13:02,203
Well, we could talk while we dance.
189
00:13:04,373 --> 00:13:06,625
OK. Sure.
190
00:13:09,878 --> 00:13:11,922
Watch your toes.
191
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:19,264
Well, you're doin' fine.
192
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,351
- Are you countin'?
- A little.
193
00:13:23,476 --> 00:13:25,687
I can see your lips movin'.
194
00:13:25,812 --> 00:13:28,690
My lips don't move, my feet don't move.
195
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:34,113
- Is that perfume you're wearin'?
- Perfume?
196
00:13:35,489 --> 00:13:37,616
It's ladies' perfume.
197
00:13:37,741 --> 00:13:40,786
I smelt it before.
Two of the other soldiers had it on.
198
00:13:40,911 --> 00:13:44,873
Oh, yeah. It's... it's for my mother.
199
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,877
The lady on the counter sprayed it on me.
200
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,131
Do you think it's too strong?
201
00:13:51,256 --> 00:13:55,552
Well, yours is a little different.
Yours has a little Aqua velva in it.
202
00:13:55,677 --> 00:13:58,346
Well, that's me underneath.
203
00:13:58,472 --> 00:14:02,268
- What's your name?
- Eugene Morris Jerome.
204
00:14:02,393 --> 00:14:05,521
If you want the short version, it's Eugene.
205
00:14:05,646 --> 00:14:09,316
- What's your name?
- Daisy. Daisy Hannigan.
206
00:14:09,441 --> 00:14:13,362
Dai... No kiddin'? That's a beautiful name.
207
00:14:14,239 --> 00:14:17,033
Daisy is my favourite character
in literature.
208
00:14:17,158 --> 00:14:20,579
- Daisy Miller or Daisy Buchanan?
- Buchanan.
209
00:14:20,704 --> 00:14:24,499
The Great Gatsby is one of
my all-time favourite books.
210
00:14:24,625 --> 00:14:28,963
- I've never read Daisy Miller. Is it good?
- Oh, it's wonderful.
211
00:14:29,088 --> 00:14:33,259
You look surprised.
We do read in the South, you know.
212
00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:35,553
I know.
213
00:14:35,678 --> 00:14:38,556
- You have a funny look on your face.
- I do?
214
00:14:38,682 --> 00:14:40,350
Uh-huh.
215
00:14:40,475 --> 00:14:42,853
It's like a birthday look.
216
00:14:42,978 --> 00:14:45,647
- Today isn't your birthday, is it?
- No.
217
00:14:46,898 --> 00:14:50,026
Something special
happened to you today, am I right?
218
00:14:50,152 --> 00:14:51,778
Yeah.
219
00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:55,408
- Can you tell me about it?
- I don't think so.
220
00:14:57,368 --> 00:15:01,122
- I might put it in my memoirs, though.
- Oh.
221
00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:05,376
- Do you keep a journal every day?
- Yes. Since I was 14.
222
00:15:05,502 --> 00:15:08,296
I write down everything
that happens to me.
223
00:15:08,422 --> 00:15:12,551
- Do you like writin'?
- Yeah. It's what I hope to be one day.
224
00:15:14,803 --> 00:15:17,180
Will you write about
dancin' with me tonight?
225
00:15:17,305 --> 00:15:19,891
Yeah, probably.
226
00:15:20,017 --> 00:15:25,606
Great. Then if you ever become
a famous writer, I'll be immortalised!
227
00:16:58,497 --> 00:17:00,916
The sisters are lookin' at me.
228
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:04,420
We're not allowed to spend
too much time with one boy.
229
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:09,133
The song isn't over yet.
I'm entitled to one song, right?
230
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:12,762
Can I... You want me
to get you a Coke or something?
231
00:17:14,264 --> 00:17:16,474
It's way on the other side of the room.
232
00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:18,893
The song would be over
when you got back.
233
00:17:19,018 --> 00:17:22,105
Yeah. Let the next guy get you a Coke.
234
00:17:24,233 --> 00:17:28,279
- Do you live in Biloxi?
- No. We go to school in Gulfport.
235
00:17:28,404 --> 00:17:32,616
Gulfport, really? No kidding?
I know a girl from Gulfport.
236
00:17:32,741 --> 00:17:35,661
Really? Who is she? Maybe I know her.
237
00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:38,373
Oh, no, I don't think so.
238
00:17:38,498 --> 00:17:40,959
She's in the clothing business.
239
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,588
Well, I really have to go.
240
00:17:46,841 --> 00:17:49,510
It was very nice meetin' you, Eugene.
241
00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:54,640
Are you gonna be
back here next weekend?
242
00:17:54,765 --> 00:17:57,810
No, we only come in once a month.
243
00:17:57,935 --> 00:18:00,604
Maybe I could come out to Gulfport.
244
00:18:01,565 --> 00:18:04,651
Well, we're really
not allowed to make dates.
245
00:18:04,776 --> 00:18:09,072
Well, it wouldn't be a date
if I was just to bump into you, would it?
246
00:18:09,197 --> 00:18:12,075
Well, it would be if I went to confession.
247
00:18:13,451 --> 00:18:18,331
Especially if I told you I went
to St Mary's on Piermont Street.
248
00:18:18,457 --> 00:18:20,918
- Goodbye, Eugene.
- Goodbye, Daisy.
249
00:18:22,378 --> 00:18:27,550
Eugene, you didn't say one wrong thing
in that whole conversation.
250
00:18:38,895 --> 00:18:40,730
Ever have one of those perfect days?
251
00:19:08,803 --> 00:19:12,515
I can't believe what this creep's
been writin' about us.
252
00:19:13,432 --> 00:19:15,476
Listen to this.
253
00:19:16,602 --> 00:19:19,855
"No matter how lunatic
I think Sergeant Toomey is...
254
00:19:19,981 --> 00:19:22,233
...each day he goes a little further."
255
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:28,448
"Yesterday he made Epstein unscrew the
top of this head and take his brains out."
256
00:19:28,573 --> 00:19:31,702
I fooled him. I only took out
my mucous membranes.
257
00:19:32,661 --> 00:19:34,704
Hubba, hubba!
258
00:19:36,374 --> 00:19:38,709
What a weekend. What did you guys do?
259
00:19:38,835 --> 00:19:43,464
- Hennesey, listen. You're in this, too.
- Yeah, what is it?
260
00:19:43,589 --> 00:19:47,093
"The Secret and Private Memoirs
of Eugene M Jerome."
261
00:19:49,179 --> 00:19:50,597
He let you read that?
262
00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:53,642
No. We'll ask him if it's all right
when we get through.
263
00:19:53,767 --> 00:19:56,395
When we get through!
264
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,022
You have no right.
It's like opening his mail.
265
00:19:59,147 --> 00:20:04,653
Bullshit! It's private things about all of us.
It's public domain like in the newspapers.
266
00:20:04,779 --> 00:20:09,075
Newspapers are published. Unpublished
memoirs are the writer's sole property.
267
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:13,621
You know, I thought all Jews were doctors.
I didn't know they were lawyers, too.
268
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,624
- I'm not a Jew any more, Wykowski.
- What do you mean?
269
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:19,419
I converted to Catholicism yesterday.
270
00:20:19,545 --> 00:20:22,172
In six weeks I hope to become a priest.
271
00:20:22,297 --> 00:20:26,593
And my first act of service to the Holy
Father is to have you excommunicated...
272
00:20:26,718 --> 00:20:28,762
...so get off my ass.
273
00:20:30,181 --> 00:20:33,226
That's good. That's funny.
He got you that time, 'Kowski.
274
00:20:33,351 --> 00:20:35,228
Shut up!
275
00:20:35,353 --> 00:20:38,147
I thought you were
Eugene's friend, Epstein.
276
00:20:38,272 --> 00:20:42,860
He left his locker open. Why'd he leave
something so private in an open locker?
277
00:20:42,985 --> 00:20:46,656
It has no logic to it.
I have no interest in illogical things.
278
00:20:46,782 --> 00:20:50,411
Well, you tell Gene I had
nothin' to do with this, you hear?
279
00:20:50,536 --> 00:20:52,579
Go on, keep readin'.
280
00:20:53,747 --> 00:20:58,502
"One night a sudden scream from
Selridge calling out the name Louise."
281
00:20:58,628 --> 00:21:01,381
"Is Louise his girlfriend or his mother?"
282
00:21:01,506 --> 00:21:05,009
- He's full of crap!
- Yeah, well, who's Louise?
283
00:21:05,134 --> 00:21:09,389
My mother. But he's full of it.
I never called my mother Louise.
284
00:21:09,514 --> 00:21:11,641
Poor baby wants his mother.
285
00:21:11,767 --> 00:21:13,811
Hey, it's him.
286
00:21:18,065 --> 00:21:20,943
Two in one day. Two in one day.
Can you believe it?
287
00:21:21,068 --> 00:21:23,612
- Two what?
- Two fantasies came true.
288
00:21:23,737 --> 00:21:26,990
- I lost my virginity and I fell in love.
- With Rowena?
289
00:21:27,117 --> 00:21:29,327
I can't wait for her to meet your parents.
290
00:21:29,452 --> 00:21:32,413
Her name is Daisy. Daisy Hannigan.
291
00:21:32,539 --> 00:21:35,625
Every time I say it
I get tiny little heart attacks.
292
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:40,129
Not enough to kill ya. Just enough
to keep you from walking straight.
293
00:21:43,217 --> 00:21:45,052
Hey.
294
00:21:45,886 --> 00:21:49,598
- Anybody seen my notebook?
- What notebook is that?
295
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,437
The one I'm always writing in.
296
00:21:55,897 --> 00:21:57,941
Arnold, have you seen it?
297
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:01,903
Why did you leave your locker open?
298
00:22:02,987 --> 00:22:06,366
Because I lost the key
down the shower drain.
299
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:10,037
There was nothing valuable
in there except my notebook.
300
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:12,373
I thought I could trust the guys here.
301
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:16,085
Hey, that's funny, Jerome,
cos we thought we could trust you, too.
302
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,254
What does that mean?
303
00:22:21,258 --> 00:22:23,385
"One night a scream from Selridge...
304
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,679
- Hey! Gimme that!
-... calling out Louise!"
305
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,974
- "Is Louise his girlfriend or mother?"
- You have no right!
306
00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:32,602
Yeah? And you got no business
writing down my dreams.
307
00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:36,649
- Give it back. Nobody is interested.
- Not even in what he thinks about you?
308
00:22:36,774 --> 00:22:41,153
- Give it to me!
- You want an arm broken, it's up to you.
309
00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:45,199
- 'Kowski, please don't read that.
- If it gets boring, I'll stop.
310
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:49,578
"I can't make Don Carney out yet.
Basically he's OK and I like him."
311
00:22:51,748 --> 00:22:54,709
"But there's something
about him you can't count on...
312
00:22:54,834 --> 00:22:59,589
...and if I was ever in real trouble
Don Carney's the last one I'd turn to."
313
00:23:02,176 --> 00:23:06,722
Well... let's just hope
you don't have to count on me.
314
00:23:06,847 --> 00:23:08,849
It doesn't mean anything.
315
00:23:08,974 --> 00:23:12,061
- I get a thought and I write it down.
- Let him go, Selridge.
316
00:23:12,186 --> 00:23:14,855
Wanna take his place?
I don't care whose arm I break.
317
00:23:14,981 --> 00:23:18,568
OK, you ready for the best part?
Here's the best part.
318
00:23:18,693 --> 00:23:20,737
"Wykowski is pure animal."
319
00:23:21,655 --> 00:23:25,492
"He masturbates in bed
four or five times a night."
320
00:23:25,617 --> 00:23:29,621
"He has no shame about it
and his capacities are enormous."
321
00:23:29,747 --> 00:23:33,000
"sometimes when he has a discharge
he announces it to the room:
322
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:36,671
"Number five torpedo fired,
loading number six."'
323
00:23:36,796 --> 00:23:39,882
Hey, Epstein,
can I sue him for defamation of...
324
00:23:40,509 --> 00:23:42,135
- What is it?
- Character?
325
00:23:42,260 --> 00:23:46,515
Only if his intent is to prove malice,
and in your case it's not possible.
326
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,683
- Read more.
- Where was I?
327
00:23:48,809 --> 00:23:51,686
You just fired number five.
328
00:23:51,812 --> 00:23:55,440
"Despite Wykowski's
lack of culture, sensitivity...
329
00:23:55,566 --> 00:23:58,569
...or the pursuit of
anything minutely intellectual...
330
00:23:58,694 --> 00:24:04,617
...his greatest strength is his earnest
belief that he belongs on the battlefield."
331
00:24:04,742 --> 00:24:07,620
"He is clearly the best soldier in the pl...
332
00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:11,792
...in the platoon,
dependable under pressure."
333
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:17,089
"It wouldn't surprise me if Wykowski came
out of the war with the Medal of Honor."
334
00:24:18,715 --> 00:24:20,884
You really mean that, Jerome?
335
00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:23,346
I told you, I don't mean any of it.
336
00:24:23,471 --> 00:24:26,808
Right now I would describe you
in three words: a yellow bastard!
337
00:24:26,933 --> 00:24:32,188
Yeah, well, they don't give the Medal of
Honor to yellow bastards. Let him go, Sel.
338
00:24:38,570 --> 00:24:42,074
What do you write this down for?
You'll make a lotta guys unhappy.
339
00:24:42,199 --> 00:24:45,160
What I write in my book
is my business. Give it to me.
340
00:24:45,285 --> 00:24:48,205
Don't I get to hear my life story?
341
00:24:48,331 --> 00:24:50,917
Arnold, I beg you!
342
00:24:51,042 --> 00:24:53,002
Don't read that!
343
00:24:53,127 --> 00:24:55,672
They're my private thoughts!
344
00:24:55,797 --> 00:24:59,509
- If you take them, you steal from me.
- I gather it's unflattering.
345
00:24:59,634 --> 00:25:04,097
Don't you know me by now, Gene?
I can't be unflattered. I'm past it.
346
00:25:04,223 --> 00:25:07,351
However, if you don't want me
to read it, I won't read it.
347
00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:12,356
But I don't think we'll be able to be
truly honest with each other from now on.
348
00:25:17,737 --> 00:25:20,406
Put it back when you're through.
349
00:25:24,953 --> 00:25:26,996
Well, don't we get to hear it?
350
00:25:36,715 --> 00:25:42,388
"Arnold Epstein's constant pursuit of
truth, logic and reason fascinates me...
351
00:25:42,514 --> 00:25:46,017
...in the same proportion as
his obstinacy and unnecessary heroics...
352
00:25:46,142 --> 00:25:48,186
...drive me to distraction."
353
00:25:49,604 --> 00:25:53,316
"But I love him for it, in the same
manner that I love Joe DiMaggio...
354
00:25:53,441 --> 00:25:57,654
...for making the gesture
of catching a long fly ball to centre."
355
00:25:57,780 --> 00:26:01,951
"seemed like the last miracle
performed by God in modern times."
356
00:26:03,202 --> 00:26:06,705
"But often I hold back showing
my love and affection for Arnold...
357
00:26:06,830 --> 00:26:09,875
...because I think he might misinterpret it."
358
00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:14,339
"It just happens to be
my instinctive feeling that Arnold...
359
00:26:16,591 --> 00:26:18,635
...is...
360
00:26:19,886 --> 00:26:21,930
...homosexual...
361
00:26:22,055 --> 00:26:24,933
...and it bothers me that it bothers me."
362
00:26:41,451 --> 00:26:44,496
Do you see why I find life so interesting?
363
00:26:44,621 --> 00:26:50,001
Because here is a man who in three weeks
has come to the brilliant conclusion...
364
00:26:50,127 --> 00:26:53,547
...that a cretin like Wykowski
is going to win the Medal of Honor...
365
00:26:53,672 --> 00:26:57,593
...and that his most esteemed
and dearest friend is a fairy.
366
00:26:59,512 --> 00:27:01,555
Lights out!
367
00:27:26,123 --> 00:27:31,295
It is my opinion that no one here gets
a wink of sleep tonight. Good night, fellas.
368
00:27:57,073 --> 00:28:01,827
The weekends I spent with Daisy made the
weeks in the army even more unbearable.
369
00:28:03,372 --> 00:28:05,874
I knew this romance
wouldn't survive the war...
370
00:28:05,999 --> 00:28:09,669
...or the differences
in our backgrounds or our futures...
371
00:28:09,795 --> 00:28:12,672
...but I didn't let Daisy know
I felt that way.
372
00:28:16,552 --> 00:28:21,307
I wanted every hour we spent together
to be perfect, and it was...
373
00:28:21,432 --> 00:28:24,101
...because I think she knew it, too.
374
00:28:57,846 --> 00:29:00,807
Who the hell turned this light out?
375
00:29:00,933 --> 00:29:02,976
- Oh, Christ!
- Who's there?
376
00:29:08,066 --> 00:29:10,693
Goddammit, Lindstrom!
377
00:29:10,818 --> 00:29:16,324
Why didn't you tell the army what you
were, save the trouble of a court martial?
378
00:29:16,449 --> 00:29:19,077
The other soldier with Lindstrom...
379
00:29:19,203 --> 00:29:22,498
...flew out that window
with the dexterity of a paratrooper.
380
00:29:22,623 --> 00:29:27,961
He was seen but not identified entering
our latrine window a few minutes later.
381
00:29:28,086 --> 00:29:33,050
Unlike the missing $62,
this time it wasn't me.
382
00:29:35,470 --> 00:29:38,348
So... who the hell was it?
383
00:29:41,059 --> 00:29:44,479
Private Lindstrom, a nervous young man...
384
00:29:44,604 --> 00:29:48,775
...will surely crack under
the strain of interrogation.
385
00:29:48,901 --> 00:29:54,031
Therefore, if the guilty party in this room
wishes to admit his indiscretion...
386
00:29:54,156 --> 00:29:57,659
...he will not only lessen
his sentence in Leavenworth Prison...
387
00:29:57,785 --> 00:30:01,538
...but save this company what I promise
will be pain and humiliation...
388
00:30:01,664 --> 00:30:04,125
...beyond the endurance of man.
389
00:30:09,589 --> 00:30:15,553
I take it honour and integrity are traits
not to be found anywhere in this company.
390
00:30:15,679 --> 00:30:17,681
- Jerome?
- Yes, Sergeant.
391
00:30:17,806 --> 00:30:20,809
What would you do in my place?
392
00:30:20,935 --> 00:30:23,979
I'm not in your place, Sergeant.
393
00:30:24,104 --> 00:30:28,067
I know you write down everything
you see in that book of yours.
394
00:30:28,193 --> 00:30:31,905
Is there anything happened tonight
that might be of interest to me?
395
00:30:32,030 --> 00:30:33,782
I was asleep, Sergeant.
396
00:30:33,907 --> 00:30:37,118
If you weren't, you wouldn't
tell me anyway, would you?
397
00:30:37,243 --> 00:30:39,788
No, I don't think I would.
398
00:30:39,913 --> 00:30:43,625
Got me another Epstein
on my hands, don't I?
399
00:30:46,462 --> 00:30:50,382
OK, men, all base privileges
are cancelled.
400
00:30:51,509 --> 00:30:54,762
All weekend passes, likewise, cancelled.
401
00:30:54,888 --> 00:30:57,974
The moral of this story is
when you get real horny...
402
00:30:58,099 --> 00:31:02,020
...do unto yourself what you would
otherwise do unto others.
403
00:31:04,105 --> 00:31:06,149
Dismissed.
404
00:31:08,944 --> 00:31:11,322
- What we gonna do about this?
- Don't say it.
405
00:31:11,447 --> 00:31:14,116
Hey, I don't have to say it.
406
00:31:14,241 --> 00:31:17,620
We all know who he's talkin' about.
You even wrote it in your book.
407
00:31:17,745 --> 00:31:20,915
Yeah. I also wrote down
that you're an animal.
408
00:31:21,041 --> 00:31:23,668
If I'm right,
then you should be in the cavalry.
409
00:31:23,793 --> 00:31:27,547
- Yeah?
- Hey, this is none of our business.
410
00:31:27,672 --> 00:31:30,550
Let's just let the army take care of this.
411
00:31:43,064 --> 00:31:46,859
I'm sorry, Arnold.
I swear to God I'm sorry I ever wrote it.
412
00:31:47,777 --> 00:31:51,363
Actually, I'm enjoying it.
Sounds like an Agatha Christie story:
413
00:31:51,490 --> 00:31:53,533
Sodomy on the Orient Express.
414
00:31:53,992 --> 00:31:58,663
Hey, Epstein, let's see
if you'll be laughin' at Leavenworth.
415
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,292
And he calls me a cretin.
416
00:32:02,418 --> 00:32:06,005
I don't see the big deal. A guy
should be able to do what he wants...
417
00:32:06,130 --> 00:32:08,799
...just as long as he doesn't do it to me.
418
00:32:10,134 --> 00:32:11,969
That's a mistake, Gene.
419
00:32:12,094 --> 00:32:17,266
Once you start compromising your
thoughts you're a candidate for mediocrity.
420
00:32:23,357 --> 00:32:27,486
There's nothing we can do about it
tonight. Let's hit the sack.
421
00:32:33,159 --> 00:32:37,747
I learnt a very important lesson that night:
people believe whatever they read.
422
00:32:37,872 --> 00:32:41,209
Something magical happens
once it's put down on paper.
423
00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:45,504
They figure no one would go to the trouble
of writing it down if it wasn't the truth.
424
00:32:45,631 --> 00:32:48,342
Responsibility was my new watchword.
425
00:33:21,293 --> 00:33:23,253
Hey, MPs.
426
00:33:23,379 --> 00:33:25,715
That Lindstrom guy must've talked.
427
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,968
Jesus, you mean they'll pull
the guy out in front of everyone?
428
00:34:09,553 --> 00:34:12,139
When the following
soldier's name is called...
429
00:34:12,264 --> 00:34:17,394
...he's requested to accompany
the military police back to headquarters.
430
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,564
Hennesey, James J.
431
00:34:21,524 --> 00:34:23,902
Wha... What's it about?
432
00:34:28,156 --> 00:34:31,868
That's a matter for you
to discuss with the authorities.
433
00:34:32,578 --> 00:34:34,622
Come on, son.
434
00:35:15,749 --> 00:35:20,587
Hennesey was the only guy in the platoon
who stood up for both Epstein and me.
435
00:35:20,712 --> 00:35:25,592
That fact didn't even occur to me
until I saw him being driven off to prison.
436
00:35:49,242 --> 00:35:50,952
Boy, it's hot.
437
00:35:53,664 --> 00:35:56,125
Hey, come on. Let's go get a beer.
438
00:36:04,550 --> 00:36:06,594
Arnold?
439
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,684
Don't you wanna go?
440
00:36:14,311 --> 00:36:17,105
Why do you think I'm a homosexual?
441
00:36:17,230 --> 00:36:19,191
I don't know.
442
00:36:19,316 --> 00:36:23,028
Maybe it's because
you never once talked about a girl.
443
00:36:23,863 --> 00:36:28,951
I never talked about dogs, either.
Does that make me a cocker spaniel?
444
00:36:29,076 --> 00:36:32,038
I know. I'll never do it again.
445
00:36:32,872 --> 00:36:34,832
Epstein?
446
00:36:38,628 --> 00:36:40,672
Is it Epstein?
447
00:36:42,215 --> 00:36:44,134
Or "Epsteen"?
448
00:36:44,259 --> 00:36:46,928
- "Epsteen".
- "Epsteen"?
449
00:36:50,683 --> 00:36:54,312
I wonder if I may have
a word with you in private, please?
450
00:36:55,062 --> 00:36:57,690
Jesus. He's drunk as hell.
451
00:36:58,191 --> 00:37:01,068
Did you hear what I said... Epstein?
452
00:37:03,113 --> 00:37:07,618
Your insignificant presence
is requested in my chambers.
453
00:37:09,119 --> 00:37:12,331
- You OK, sarge?
- Get outta here, Jerome...
454
00:37:12,456 --> 00:37:15,125
...before I start hatin' you again.
455
00:37:15,251 --> 00:37:19,255
If I kill the both of you,
they can still only hang me once.
456
00:37:20,298 --> 00:37:22,842
Let's go, Epstein.
457
00:37:24,260 --> 00:37:27,430
We've got some bills to pay up, you and I.
458
00:37:27,556 --> 00:37:29,850
You and me.
459
00:37:29,975 --> 00:37:32,603
Move your ass, sonny!
460
00:37:32,728 --> 00:37:36,982
- You don't wanna do this, sarge.
- But I do. I really, really do.
461
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,986
- It's all right, Gene.
- No, it isn't.
462
00:37:41,112 --> 00:37:44,032
Unless you wanna write
in your memoirs that you're dead...
463
00:37:44,157 --> 00:37:46,492
...I'd move out if I were you, Gene, buddy.
464
00:37:46,618 --> 00:37:48,870
Epstein, let's go, goddammit.
465
00:37:48,995 --> 00:37:53,750
Don't do it, Arnold. He won't do
anything as long as I'm a witness.
466
00:37:56,003 --> 00:37:58,422
OK. Fine with me.
467
00:37:58,547 --> 00:38:00,674
Epstein, go clean the latrine.
468
00:38:10,059 --> 00:38:12,145
Into my room, Jerome.
469
00:38:12,270 --> 00:38:15,356
You're now about
to move up to the front lines.
470
00:38:16,149 --> 00:38:17,567
Come on.
471
00:38:35,378 --> 00:38:39,632
- Have a drink, Jerome.
- I don't drink whiskey, Sergeant.
472
00:38:39,758 --> 00:38:42,135
- You will tonight.
- Why?
473
00:38:42,260 --> 00:38:44,304
Because I say so.
474
00:38:46,764 --> 00:38:48,600
OK.
475
00:39:01,739 --> 00:39:03,949
I don't like you, Jerome.
476
00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:06,411
I never did. Never will.
477
00:39:06,536 --> 00:39:09,789
I won't even like you after the war.
478
00:39:09,914 --> 00:39:12,375
Well, I probably won't come up
all that often.
479
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,544
Probably won't.
480
00:39:15,628 --> 00:39:17,672
Take a slug.
481
00:39:25,264 --> 00:39:27,308
Tell me, Jerome...
482
00:39:28,893 --> 00:39:33,689
...if a piss-drunk sergeant has
a loaded. 45 pointed at the head...
483
00:39:33,815 --> 00:39:38,486
...of a piece of dung that the piss-drunk
sergeant hates and despises...
484
00:39:38,612 --> 00:39:41,031
...how would you describe the situation?
485
00:39:41,156 --> 00:39:43,658
Delicate. Extremely delicate.
486
00:39:43,784 --> 00:39:44,785
Right.
487
00:39:45,161 --> 00:39:50,708
He's going nuts! He's... he's...
he's gonna kill him! I'm telling you!
488
00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:57,673
I'll be honest with you, Jerome. It was
my intention of gettin' Epstein in here...
489
00:39:58,467 --> 00:40:01,136
...puttin' this pistol to his ear...
490
00:40:02,512 --> 00:40:07,267
...blowin' a tunnel through his head,
but you'll do just as well.
491
00:40:07,392 --> 00:40:09,227
I'm sorry to hear that.
492
00:40:09,352 --> 00:40:14,316
There's somethin' about
you New York boys riles my ass.
493
00:40:18,571 --> 00:40:23,325
- You don't appreciate the army, do you?
- There are some things I like.
494
00:40:23,451 --> 00:40:25,494
Such as?
495
00:40:26,872 --> 00:40:30,459
Mail. I like getting my mail.
496
00:40:31,668 --> 00:40:33,086
You shittin' me?
497
00:40:33,211 --> 00:40:36,882
Piece of dung would never shit
a piss-drunk sergeant with a loaded. 45.
498
00:40:37,007 --> 00:40:40,594
Don't test me, Jerome. I'll bury ya.
499
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,029
You know what the irony
of this situation is, Jerome?
500
00:40:57,154 --> 00:41:01,366
The irony is that despite the fact...
501
00:41:01,491 --> 00:41:05,370
...you hate every
disciplined bone in my body...
502
00:41:05,496 --> 00:41:07,957
...you're gonna miss me when I go.
503
00:41:08,791 --> 00:41:11,252
Are you going somewhere, Sergeant?
504
00:41:13,212 --> 00:41:14,964
Dickerson.
505
00:41:15,548 --> 00:41:17,592
veterans hospital.
506
00:41:19,219 --> 00:41:21,263
0700 tomorrow morning.
507
00:41:23,140 --> 00:41:25,976
I know how much
you boys are gonna miss me.
508
00:41:26,101 --> 00:41:29,563
Don't make a fuss or anything.
No gifts, you understand?
509
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:34,192
Well, the guys'll be disappointed,
but I'll explain why.
510
00:41:35,737 --> 00:41:38,406
Ingratitude.
511
00:41:38,531 --> 00:41:43,077
The army is gonna replace
my steel plate with sterling silver.
512
00:41:43,202 --> 00:41:47,957
That means I'll be able to hawk my head
in any pawnshop in this country.
513
00:41:49,710 --> 00:41:51,587
That's a joke, Jerome.
514
00:41:51,712 --> 00:41:54,006
I know. I love army humour.
515
00:41:54,131 --> 00:41:56,300
How long will you be gone, Sergeant?
516
00:41:56,425 --> 00:42:01,430
They don't send you back from a veterans
hospital, boy. You become a veteran.
517
00:42:01,556 --> 00:42:03,891
I'm tryin' to tell you...
518
00:42:04,017 --> 00:42:08,313
...my active career in the US Army
has been terminated.
519
00:42:08,438 --> 00:42:10,857
I'm finished. You understand?
520
00:42:10,982 --> 00:42:14,110
Retired before 40. That's sad, isn't it?
521
00:42:14,695 --> 00:42:18,115
- You find that sad, Jerome?
- Yes, it is sad.
522
00:42:21,076 --> 00:42:23,871
One night, from my room here...
523
00:42:23,996 --> 00:42:27,791
...I heard that game you played
with the men in the barracks.
524
00:42:28,710 --> 00:42:33,256
How each man could have his own
fantasy with only a week to live.
525
00:42:34,382 --> 00:42:37,885
I wanna play that game, Jerome.
Here's my five bucks.
526
00:42:39,262 --> 00:42:42,056
You tell me if I win.
527
00:42:42,182 --> 00:42:47,563
- You can't win, Sergeant. Game's over.
- Not yet. Not till I've had my turn.
528
00:42:47,688 --> 00:42:49,523
Right?
529
00:42:52,317 --> 00:42:54,361
You know what I would do...
530
00:42:55,530 --> 00:42:57,657
...with my last week on earth?
531
00:42:58,450 --> 00:43:03,538
I want to take one army misfit, dumb-ass,
subhuman, useless son of a bitch...
532
00:43:03,663 --> 00:43:05,707
...and turn him...
533
00:43:06,374 --> 00:43:10,920
...into an obedient, disciplined soldier
this army could be proud of.
534
00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:15,801
I got two in this company -
you and Epstein.
535
00:43:17,803 --> 00:43:20,431
But Epstein's hopeless.
536
00:43:20,557 --> 00:43:23,101
You're my last hope, Jerome.
537
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:26,146
You're gonna make my fantasy come true.
538
00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:28,815
None of them came true.
It was just a game.
539
00:43:29,232 --> 00:43:32,110
Right. Except tonight's the real thing.
540
00:43:33,403 --> 00:43:36,114
And I don't have a week to do it in.
541
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:38,784
We're gonna do it now, soldier.
542
00:43:39,827 --> 00:43:43,664
- On your feet, dogface!
- Sergeant, you're not in any condition...
543
00:43:43,789 --> 00:43:45,833
On your feet!
544
00:43:47,836 --> 00:43:49,879
Ten hut!
545
00:43:58,305 --> 00:44:03,059
A crime has been committed
in this room tonight, Jerome.
546
00:44:04,228 --> 00:44:08,607
A noncommissioned officer has
threatened the life of an enlisted man...
547
00:44:08,733 --> 00:44:11,819
...brandishing a loaded weapon at him
without provocation...
548
00:44:11,944 --> 00:44:14,947
...while under the influence of alcohol.
549
00:44:15,365 --> 00:44:17,409
I am that officer, Jerome.
550
00:44:17,534 --> 00:44:22,956
It is your unquestioned duty to report
this incident to the proper authorities.
551
00:44:24,165 --> 00:44:26,876
That's OK. I didn't mind.
552
00:44:27,002 --> 00:44:29,838
As I'm piss-drunk and dangerous...
553
00:44:29,964 --> 00:44:33,509
...it's also your duty
to relieve me of my loaded weapon.
554
00:44:35,011 --> 00:44:38,305
I could just leave
and I would never talk about it.
555
00:44:38,431 --> 00:44:41,100
Take my weapon, goddammit.
556
00:44:41,225 --> 00:44:44,770
What do you mean "take it"?
How am I supposed to take it?
557
00:44:44,896 --> 00:44:49,609
Demand it, you weasel bastard.
I'll blow your puny brains out.
558
00:44:49,734 --> 00:44:51,778
OK. OK. Um...
559
00:44:53,321 --> 00:44:55,866
- May I have your gun, Sergeant?
- Pistol, turdhead!
560
00:44:55,992 --> 00:44:58,578
May I have your pistol, Sergeant?
561
00:44:58,703 --> 00:45:01,998
- Force it out of my hand.
- Force it out of your hand?
562
00:45:03,833 --> 00:45:07,128
- How am I supposed to force it out?
- Grab my wrist, if you dare.
563
00:45:07,253 --> 00:45:12,091
- I can't. You're stronger than I am.
- Grab it or I'll shoot, goddamn you!
564
00:45:27,692 --> 00:45:29,318
OK.
565
00:45:29,443 --> 00:45:31,737
OK. Thank you.
566
00:45:31,863 --> 00:45:35,157
Now, why don't you just...
567
00:45:35,283 --> 00:45:38,160
...try to get a good night's sleep?
568
00:45:39,204 --> 00:45:42,541
To properly charge me,
you need witnesses.
569
00:45:42,666 --> 00:45:45,335
Assemble the men outside the barracks.
570
00:45:45,460 --> 00:45:49,214
Well, I... I took your gun.
Aren't you satisfied? I am.
571
00:45:49,339 --> 00:45:54,219
It's regulations. As long as
you obey regulations, I win the bet.
572
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,724
Assemble the men.
573
00:46:03,355 --> 00:46:05,399
Oh.
574
00:46:05,524 --> 00:46:07,276
Hi, fellas.
575
00:46:08,193 --> 00:46:10,487
Um...
576
00:46:10,612 --> 00:46:14,867
Would you come outside for a minute?
Sergeant wants to speak to us.
577
00:46:35,389 --> 00:46:38,684
Men, as you can see...
578
00:46:41,019 --> 00:46:43,772
...I'm piss-drunk.
579
00:46:43,898 --> 00:46:48,820
I've also just threatened
to blow Private Jerome's brains out.
580
00:46:48,945 --> 00:46:52,365
Private Jerome has
relieved me of my weapon...
581
00:46:52,490 --> 00:46:55,618
...placed me under arrest.
You're all witnesses.
582
00:46:55,743 --> 00:46:59,372
Before takin' me
to headquarters to file charges...
583
00:46:59,498 --> 00:47:05,087
...I'd just like to add that Private Jerome
has displayed outstanding courage...
584
00:47:05,212 --> 00:47:09,299
...and carried out his duty
in the manner of a first-class soldier.
585
00:47:09,425 --> 00:47:13,387
I am puttin' him up for commendation.
I'm ready to go, Jerome.
586
00:47:13,513 --> 00:47:17,142
I think that's a decision that
should be left to the men, Sergeant.
587
00:47:17,267 --> 00:47:19,018
Is that right?
588
00:47:19,144 --> 00:47:20,854
That's right.
589
00:47:20,979 --> 00:47:22,397
Hm.
590
00:47:25,651 --> 00:47:27,695
Private Epstein...
591
00:47:28,445 --> 00:47:32,408
...in your opinion should
we drop the charges or not?
592
00:47:34,368 --> 00:47:36,704
No. No charges.
593
00:47:37,788 --> 00:47:42,167
I think the sergeant should get
company punishment like the rest of us.
594
00:47:44,295 --> 00:47:49,008
- Would that be all right, Sergeant?
- My two misfits are in charge, huh?
595
00:47:49,134 --> 00:47:54,597
Fine. Handle this any way you want,
as long as justice is served.
596
00:47:54,723 --> 00:47:56,892
You name it, Epstein.
597
00:47:57,017 --> 00:47:59,562
I think justice would be served...
598
00:47:59,687 --> 00:48:02,231
...if you gave us 200 push-ups.
599
00:48:02,773 --> 00:48:05,484
very decisive.
600
00:48:05,610 --> 00:48:08,238
That's a disciplined soldier for you, men.
601
00:48:08,905 --> 00:48:10,949
Thank you.
602
00:48:13,785 --> 00:48:16,246
- Hit the dirt?
- Hit the dirt!
603
00:48:20,167 --> 00:48:21,585
- Count off?
- What?
604
00:48:21,711 --> 00:48:24,797
- Tell me to count off!
- Right. Count off!
605
00:48:24,922 --> 00:48:26,799
Yes, Private Epstein.
606
00:48:26,924 --> 00:48:29,844
One, two, three...
607
00:48:29,969 --> 00:48:32,680
...four, five, six...
608
00:48:32,806 --> 00:48:36,143
...seven, eight, nine, ten...
609
00:48:36,268 --> 00:48:39,646
...eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen...
610
00:48:39,771 --> 00:48:44,943
...fifteen, sixteen, seventeen,
eighteen, nineteen, twenty...
611
00:48:48,447 --> 00:48:50,700
We never saw Sergeant Toomey again.
612
00:48:50,825 --> 00:48:54,286
Our new sergeant was
a sane, logical and decent man.
613
00:48:54,412 --> 00:48:59,125
After four weeks with him we realised
how much we missed Sergeant Toomey.
614
00:48:59,250 --> 00:49:03,170
One should never underestimate
the stimulation of eccentricity.
615
00:49:04,089 --> 00:49:08,176
I told Daisy I was shipping out and that
this was the last time we'd have together.
616
00:49:08,301 --> 00:49:11,847
She said "I know you'll find
another girl some day, Gene...
617
00:49:11,972 --> 00:49:16,226
...but you'll never forget me because
we'll always be each other's first love."
618
00:49:16,352 --> 00:49:20,481
Long after the war I ran into Daisy
in New York. She still looked great.
619
00:49:20,606 --> 00:49:23,025
She married a doctor from New Orleans.
620
00:49:23,150 --> 00:49:25,653
Her name is now Daisy Horowitz.
621
00:49:25,778 --> 00:49:28,656
Ah, well, Biloxi was beautiful.
622
00:49:29,908 --> 00:49:34,746
We were going to the Battle of the Pacific
and there was no one who wasn't scared.
623
00:49:34,871 --> 00:49:39,918
Then they dropped a bomb on Hiroshima
and six days later the war was over.
624
00:49:40,336 --> 00:49:45,633
So when you get down to it the only action
we ever saw was up in Rowena's place.
625
00:49:45,758 --> 00:49:48,136
Sure, we were glad
our lives were spared...
626
00:49:48,261 --> 00:49:52,181
...but the guys who came before us and
the ones who didn't make it back home...
627
00:49:52,306 --> 00:49:54,976
...haunted me for the rest of my life.
628
00:49:57,646 --> 00:50:00,399
Roy Selridge decided
to make the army his career...
629
00:50:00,524 --> 00:50:03,443
...and 18 years later
he was still a buck private.
630
00:50:03,568 --> 00:50:06,071
I guess he never really did hit his peak.
631
00:50:06,989 --> 00:50:10,992
Joseph Wykowski became a high-school
football coach in Albany, New York.
632
00:50:11,119 --> 00:50:15,748
He's married with six kids,
weighs 280 pounds and has an ulcer.
633
00:50:15,873 --> 00:50:18,876
He's on a low-fat cottage cheese diet.
634
00:50:20,002 --> 00:50:25,091
Don Carney became a school teacher and
he's someone the kids can really count on.
635
00:50:25,217 --> 00:50:29,304
He never got married, and
he enjoys singing in his church choir.
636
00:50:30,931 --> 00:50:35,602
Epstein became a lawyer and eventually
the District Attorney of Brooklyn.
637
00:50:35,728 --> 00:50:39,107
The Mafia calls him
"The most feared man in New York."
638
00:50:41,192 --> 00:50:47,031
As for me, I finally found the perfect girl, I
got married and had two great daughters.
639
00:50:47,156 --> 00:50:51,911
I became a writer. I wrote a few plays and
Ijust finished one called "Biloxi Blues".
640
00:50:52,037 --> 00:50:56,750
Everything in it is true, except Rowena
never gave me a second one for free.
641
00:50:56,875 --> 00:51:00,796
Maybe I'll leave that out
if they ever make it into a movie.
642
00:51:02,340 --> 00:51:05,718
As I look back now, a lot ofyears later...
643
00:51:05,844 --> 00:51:09,931
...I realise my time in the army
was the happiest time of my life.
644
00:51:10,056 --> 00:51:12,267
God knows not because I liked the army...
645
00:51:12,392 --> 00:51:15,436
...and there sure was
nothing to like about a war.
646
00:51:15,562 --> 00:51:18,565
I liked it for the most selfish reason of all:
647
00:51:18,691 --> 00:51:20,609
because I was young.
648
00:51:20,734 --> 00:51:23,737
We all were.
Me and Epstein and Wykowski...
649
00:51:23,862 --> 00:51:26,031
...Selridge, Carney, Hennesey...
650
00:51:26,156 --> 00:51:28,325
...and even Sergeant Toomey.
651
00:51:28,450 --> 00:51:30,869
I didn't really like
most of those guys then...
652
00:51:30,995 --> 00:51:34,290
...but today I love every damn one of them.
653
00:51:35,500 --> 00:51:37,544
Life is weird, you know?
54476
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