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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,267 --> 00:00:11,781 # You must remember this 2 00:00:11,867 --> 00:00:14,745 # A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:14,827 --> 00:00:17,864 # A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:23,941 # The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:24,027 --> 00:00:27,781 # As time goes by # 6 00:00:30,587 --> 00:00:33,977 Oh! Oh! Oh! 7 00:00:35,707 --> 00:00:39,586 What's the matter? Are you all right? 8 00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:42,386 I shall never play the violin again, that's for sure. 9 00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:44,503 You shouldn't have carried so much. 10 00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:46,384 We shouldn't have sent so much! 11 00:00:46,467 --> 00:00:49,425 "A few things to be dry cleaned for the charity shop," you said. 12 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,941 I'm not only in pain, I'm bankrupt as well. 13 00:00:52,027 --> 00:00:55,497 - Is that all? - Look, I'm entitled to a little moan. 14 00:00:55,587 --> 00:00:57,305 No, I mean is that all the dry cleaning? 15 00:00:57,387 --> 00:01:00,697 There's one more load. Have I got some gloves somewhere? 16 00:01:00,787 --> 00:01:03,017 You do make a fuss. I'll go. 17 00:01:03,107 --> 00:01:05,826 Don't try to carry it all at once! 18 00:01:29,587 --> 00:01:34,103 Ow! Ow! Ow! 19 00:01:34,187 --> 00:01:36,462 - Making a bit of a fuss, aren't you? - Ow. 20 00:01:36,547 --> 00:01:38,777 If my hands didn't hurt so much, I'd punch you. 21 00:01:38,867 --> 00:01:42,303 I don't know about Help The Aged, I feel like the aged. 22 00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:44,264 Nonsense. You're a young stag. 23 00:01:44,347 --> 00:01:46,986 Hmm... Is it me or is it draughty in here? 24 00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:49,786 It's you. No, it isn't. I've left the door open. 25 00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:52,017 You're meant to say, "I'll get it, dear". 26 00:01:52,107 --> 00:01:55,258 I'm not sure I could grasp the door-handle with hands like these. 27 00:01:55,347 --> 00:01:57,383 You used to be an officer and a gentleman. 28 00:01:57,467 --> 00:02:00,186 I lied. I was actually only ever a lance corporal. 29 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,302 - Good gracious! - What? 30 00:02:04,387 --> 00:02:06,742 - The Duncans are moving. - Who are the Duncans? 31 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,897 - The people who live next door! - Oh, yes. 32 00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:12,218 - There's a For Sale sign up. - That is the normal practice. 33 00:02:12,307 --> 00:02:15,458 - They only moved in a few weeks ago. - Yes, they did. 34 00:02:15,547 --> 00:02:17,299 Why would they want to move so soon? 35 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,947 Perhaps they don't like their neighbours. 36 00:02:20,027 --> 00:02:22,177 I don't know, do I? I'm not going to ask. 37 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:26,579 Nor am I. They're either in each other's arms or at each other's throats. 38 00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:29,818 If you found them rolling on the ground, you mightn't know which. 39 00:02:29,907 --> 00:02:30,817 - Oh dear. - What? 40 00:02:30,907 --> 00:02:32,818 I've just realised what this means. 41 00:02:32,907 --> 00:02:36,377 Weeks and weeks of "I wonder what the next neighbours will be like?" 42 00:02:36,467 --> 00:02:38,583 I shouldn't worry about it if I were you. 43 00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,464 - Come on. - Where? 44 00:02:40,547 --> 00:02:43,380 We've got to get this stuff down to the charity shop. 45 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,822 - In the car? - Of course in the car. 46 00:02:45,907 --> 00:02:48,216 We're not going to take it in a wheelbarrow. 47 00:02:48,307 --> 00:02:53,222 Why did we take it out of the car and bring it all in here in the first place? 48 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:56,344 - Are you ready? - I suppose so. 49 00:02:56,427 --> 00:03:01,137 - Ow! Ow! Ow! - Oh! Oh! Oh! 50 00:03:01,227 --> 00:03:04,060 - Open the door! - I can't open the door! 51 00:03:07,307 --> 00:03:09,662 There you are. What are you doing? 52 00:03:09,747 --> 00:03:12,136 - Working. - It's Saturday. 53 00:03:12,227 --> 00:03:14,104 I'm not breaking any local bylaw, am I? 54 00:03:14,187 --> 00:03:17,782 Look, why don't you just ring Harry? 55 00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:20,062 Why doesn't Harry ring me? 56 00:03:20,147 --> 00:03:22,422 The last time he came round, you told him to go away. 57 00:03:22,507 --> 00:03:24,179 I know. And he did! 58 00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:27,384 Now you understand that and I understand that. 59 00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:31,460 But men will take things literally sometimes. Maybe that's what Harry did. 60 00:03:31,547 --> 00:03:34,664 Or maybe he had a rugby match to go to. 61 00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:38,057 If that should be Harry, tell him that... 62 00:03:38,147 --> 00:03:40,615 If it's Harry, I'm not gonna tell him anything. 63 00:03:40,707 --> 00:03:44,416 If I were you, I would just sprawl provocatively on the sofa. 64 00:03:44,507 --> 00:03:46,179 That's game playing. 65 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,780 Of course it is. 66 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,464 I don't call that very provocative. 67 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:11,938 Why should Sandy want to look provocative for me? Not that I mind. 68 00:04:12,027 --> 00:04:14,336 I don't know why you put up with him sometimes. 69 00:04:14,427 --> 00:04:17,225 - Let me list a few hundred reasons. - Please don't. 70 00:04:17,307 --> 00:04:20,504 - You're very early. I'm not ready yet. - That's the thing of it. 71 00:04:20,587 --> 00:04:23,784 - Could we take a rain check on lunch? - Why? 72 00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:28,497 Because I just had a call from an old friend who's only in town for the day. 73 00:04:28,587 --> 00:04:30,942 - Go on. - Carefully, if I were you. 74 00:04:31,027 --> 00:04:32,619 Not that kind of old friend. 75 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:36,666 This is a guy I knew at university. Leo Villiers, known as Nutcase. 76 00:04:36,747 --> 00:04:39,056 Has he just been released from somewhere? 77 00:04:39,147 --> 00:04:41,422 Judy, please! This guy was an icon! 78 00:04:41,507 --> 00:04:43,941 "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt." 79 00:04:44,027 --> 00:04:46,780 He was the first! I used to worship old Nutcase. 80 00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:50,143 But he always made me feel so... ordinary. 81 00:04:50,227 --> 00:04:55,062 - I'd like to meet him. - That's an idea! Come for lunch with us! 82 00:04:55,147 --> 00:04:57,024 It was just a figure of speech. 83 00:04:57,107 --> 00:05:00,099 Sandy could come as well, bring Har... Harry. 84 00:05:00,187 --> 00:05:02,496 Old Nutcase would turn it into a rave! 85 00:05:02,587 --> 00:05:05,784 Harry and I aren't exactly raving at present. 86 00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:08,586 Oh, no, right. Sorry. 87 00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:14,586 I mean, does that guy want his eyes testing, or what? 88 00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,420 You'll be going now, then? 89 00:05:17,507 --> 00:05:19,702 Hmm? Oh, right. 90 00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:21,661 Goodbye, beautiful. 91 00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:26,582 Beautiful square, that is. 92 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,859 You know, I almost wish I had gone now. 93 00:05:31,947 --> 00:05:34,256 You'd be bored out of your skull. 94 00:05:34,347 --> 00:05:38,101 They'll be straight down memory lane. Pubs they were thrown out of, 95 00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:40,621 women they chased, women they caught, 96 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:44,700 tutorials they missed, whose pants they flew from the flagpole. 97 00:05:44,787 --> 00:05:46,505 Yeah, I know all that. 98 00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:51,297 No, I'd just like to meet the man that can make Alistair feel ordinary. 99 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,017 - Will you shout how many? - How many what? 100 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,337 - How many for lunch. - Oh, all right. 101 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,703 - How many for lunch? - Why is he shouting? 102 00:06:02,787 --> 00:06:05,017 - He's just being funny. - Right. 103 00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:08,224 It's just you two actually. I'm taking Sandy out for lunch. 104 00:06:08,307 --> 00:06:10,741 - Have a chat, run down men, cheer her up a bit. 105 00:06:10,827 --> 00:06:11,862 Good idea. 106 00:06:11,947 --> 00:06:14,222 Men don't have lunches to run down women. 107 00:06:15,747 --> 00:06:16,702 We don't. 108 00:06:17,387 --> 00:06:18,502 - Ready. - Right. 109 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,339 - I'll see you later. - Bye. 110 00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:23,976 - We don't. - Well, don't go on about it. 111 00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,501 I sometimes feel outnumbered in this house. 112 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,543 Oh, poor old thing. 113 00:06:29,787 --> 00:06:33,621 - it's a shame about Harry and Sandy. - I blame Sandy. 114 00:06:33,707 --> 00:06:37,905 "Tell him I don't want to see him." Two minutes later she's asking why he went! 115 00:06:37,987 --> 00:06:40,740 - But she was bluffing. - I've worked that out. 116 00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:43,295 And it's her fault that Harry called her bluff. 117 00:06:43,387 --> 00:06:46,857 To a point, yes. He had a right to keep her guessing for a bit, 118 00:06:46,947 --> 00:06:49,302 but then he should have come round again. 119 00:06:49,387 --> 00:06:51,218 - As another bluff? - No! 120 00:06:51,307 --> 00:06:54,458 I give up. We didn't carry on like that in our day, did we? 121 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,503 No, but then we didn't have enough days. 122 00:06:56,587 --> 00:07:00,341 - You mean, if you had had? - And we were in love. 123 00:07:00,427 --> 00:07:03,305 I prefer that answer. 124 00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:07,266 - Are Sandy and Harry in love? - I don't know. 125 00:07:07,347 --> 00:07:09,099 They're very fond of each other. 126 00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:15,779 - Where are you going? - To phone. 127 00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:17,459 Oh. 128 00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:23,586 Put that book down. 129 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:24,622 What do you mean? 130 00:07:24,707 --> 00:07:28,063 I know who you're phoning. Harry. That's why you sneaked in here. 131 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:31,617 I didn't sneak anywhere. I came in to look his phone number up. 132 00:07:31,707 --> 00:07:33,299 You shouldn't phone him. 133 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,662 You don't even know what I'm going to say. 134 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,136 You're not just going to pass the time of day. 135 00:07:38,227 --> 00:07:42,664 They're just two young people who've fallen out and got on their high horses. 136 00:07:42,747 --> 00:07:46,865 - You're going to make them dismount? - Something like that, yes. 137 00:07:46,947 --> 00:07:49,825 - It's nothing too arch, is it? - It isn't arch at all. 138 00:07:49,907 --> 00:07:53,138 I'm simply asking him to come round so that they can sort it out. 139 00:07:53,227 --> 00:07:54,899 I see. 140 00:07:54,987 --> 00:07:57,820 Hello, Harry? It's Jean. 141 00:07:58,707 --> 00:08:00,345 Yes, I'm very well, thank you. 142 00:08:00,427 --> 00:08:02,895 Harry, I'll come straight to the point. 143 00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:04,818 Sandy wants to see you. 144 00:08:04,907 --> 00:08:07,705 Yes, could you come round? 145 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,186 Oh, any time. 146 00:08:10,187 --> 00:08:14,339 Yes, yes, an hour - that would be fine. All right, I'll see you then. 147 00:08:15,427 --> 00:08:16,985 Why are you looking like that? 148 00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:20,218 - "Sandy wants to see you," you said. - She does, deep down. 149 00:08:20,307 --> 00:08:22,662 You made it sound like a personal invitation! 150 00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:25,978 - That's just an interpretation. - It's not, it's the truth. 151 00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:27,739 It'll be OK once they're together. 152 00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:31,502 You're doing it again. You're flying in the face of reason. 153 00:08:31,587 --> 00:08:35,375 What's Sandy going to say when Harry says "Why did you want to see me? 154 00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:37,503 - Ah... - Yes, "ah". 155 00:08:37,587 --> 00:08:41,341 I'll tell Harry it was my idea and let them sort it out. 156 00:08:41,427 --> 00:08:45,500 And then if Sandy throws a wobbly, you can go up to her room and get her out. 157 00:08:45,587 --> 00:08:48,465 Oh no, if I try that, she'll say she's not dressed. 158 00:08:48,547 --> 00:08:49,980 She'd probably be bluffing. 159 00:08:50,067 --> 00:08:52,217 Do you want me to be the one who finds out? 160 00:08:52,307 --> 00:08:56,698 I'll go up and drag her out. That's that settled. 161 00:08:56,787 --> 00:09:00,018 That's what Chamberlain said when he came back from Munich. 162 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,825 - Just a minute! - Now what? 163 00:09:01,907 --> 00:09:04,182 "Come round in an hour," you said. 164 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,258 - It will. - In case you've forgotten, 165 00:09:06,347 --> 00:09:08,258 - Sandy's just gone out. - I know that. 166 00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:12,056 It will give us a chance to have a little chat to Harry before she gets back. 167 00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:13,466 Let's go and have lunch. 168 00:09:13,547 --> 00:09:15,538 Suddenly I'm not very hungry. 169 00:09:20,747 --> 00:09:23,739 - I'm not lecturing him. - I'm not asking you to lecture him. 170 00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:28,662 I'm asking you to get him concentrated on Sandy and not sport. Ready? 171 00:09:31,307 --> 00:09:32,626 Hello, Harry. Come in. 172 00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:34,186 - Hello, thanks. - Hello. 173 00:09:34,267 --> 00:09:35,905 Hello. 174 00:09:35,987 --> 00:09:37,466 You said that Sandy wanted... 175 00:09:37,547 --> 00:09:39,777 - She does, she does. - Cup of tea, Harry? 176 00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:42,461 - No, thanks. - Or coffee? Won't take long to make. 177 00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:44,742 Lionel! Harry, do go in. 178 00:09:50,027 --> 00:09:51,824 - Do sit down. - Thank you. 179 00:09:58,427 --> 00:10:00,383 How's the police force? 180 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,981 I can't speak for all of it, but my bit's all right. 181 00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:04,261 Good. 182 00:10:04,347 --> 00:10:05,700 Sure you wouldn't like a cup of something? 183 00:10:05,787 --> 00:10:08,824 Lionel, sit down. Harry's come to chat. 184 00:10:09,907 --> 00:10:12,467 - Where is Sandy? - She's out to lunch. 185 00:10:12,547 --> 00:10:15,459 - But you said she wanted to see me. - She does. 186 00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:16,980 Then why has she gone out? 187 00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:20,218 Because she didn't know you would be here. 188 00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:23,504 - You might as well come clean. - I'm coming clean! 189 00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:28,425 Harry, Sandy doesn't know that I phoned you. 190 00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:30,225 But I know she really wants to see you, 191 00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:32,775 - so I, well, sort of... - Stitched me up. 192 00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,095 No! Please don't go. 193 00:10:34,187 --> 00:10:36,747 You're here now and I know she won't walk away. 194 00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:39,102 I mean, before, when she asked you to go away, 195 00:10:39,187 --> 00:10:41,655 - she didn't want you to go away. - Why say it then? 196 00:10:41,747 --> 00:10:43,624 - That's what I said. - Because... 197 00:10:46,107 --> 00:10:48,063 Never mind. Please, stay. 198 00:10:50,827 --> 00:10:52,783 It was the trip to Jersey that did it. 199 00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:56,655 Sandy thought it was a little break for the two of you, not a rugby tour. 200 00:10:56,747 --> 00:10:59,659 - She comes to watch me play. - Because she likes you. 201 00:10:59,747 --> 00:11:03,103 Not because she likes standing on a cold touchline for two hours. 202 00:11:03,187 --> 00:11:05,098 - 80 minutes. - 80 minutes then! 203 00:11:05,187 --> 00:11:08,065 Sandy's not asking me to give up rugby? 204 00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,661 - Of course not. - It's more than just a game. 205 00:11:10,747 --> 00:11:13,500 You've played rugby, haven't you, Mr Hardcastle? 206 00:11:13,587 --> 00:11:16,977 Lionel. Yes, I did. At school, then in the army. 207 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,978 Not once I got posted to Korea though. 208 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,376 - Were you in Korea? - Over a year. 209 00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,503 I've got an uncle who was in Korea. 210 00:11:23,587 --> 00:11:26,340 - Not in the Middlesex regiment? - No, Gloucesters. 211 00:11:26,427 --> 00:11:32,024 A fine regiment. You know, if I was asked to name just one thing 212 00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:34,177 that reminded me of playing rugby, 213 00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:38,738 it wouldn't be a particular match or the smell of embrocation and sweat. 214 00:11:38,827 --> 00:11:40,658 It would be a sound. 215 00:11:40,747 --> 00:11:44,706 The sound of studs clattering on the changing room floor. 216 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,426 - Now isn't that funny? - What? You too? 217 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:51,216 Yes. I don't suppose you ever forget that sound. 218 00:11:51,307 --> 00:11:53,696 No, I don't suppose so. Clatter, clatter, 219 00:11:53,787 --> 00:11:57,257 - Clatter, clatter, clatter! - Have you finished? 220 00:11:57,347 --> 00:11:59,702 - What? - We were talking about Sandy! 221 00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,220 Oh, yes, sorry. 222 00:12:01,307 --> 00:12:02,786 - Well? - Well what? 223 00:12:02,867 --> 00:12:04,744 - Lionel? - What? 224 00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:07,387 Oh, what's the point? 225 00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:11,346 There! Now we're too late because they're back. Just don't talk about sport! 226 00:12:11,427 --> 00:12:13,338 Sandy! Harry's here. 227 00:12:13,427 --> 00:12:16,260 I don't want to see... Yes, you do! 228 00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:18,941 Here she is. 229 00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:21,177 Ahem... Hello, Sandy. 230 00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:22,222 Hello. 231 00:12:22,307 --> 00:12:23,660 Go away! 232 00:12:23,747 --> 00:12:26,466 Oh, yes. Excuse us. 233 00:12:26,547 --> 00:12:28,583 Harry called round. 234 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:31,022 - Yes, I can see that. - Only because I was... 235 00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:33,098 He wanted to see you! So talk to him! 236 00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:37,260 Sor... Oh, sorry. 237 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,780 I didn't call round at all. 238 00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:46,903 You mean you just materialised? 239 00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:48,136 No, no, no... 240 00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:54,497 Jean phoned. She said you wanted to see me. 241 00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:57,579 - I said no such thing. - I know. 242 00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:01,103 I do wish people would let us sort things out for ourselves. 243 00:13:01,187 --> 00:13:04,259 We've not been doing a good job of it, have we? 244 00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:06,258 No. 245 00:13:06,347 --> 00:13:10,226 - I've missed you. - Oh, I've missed you too. 246 00:13:16,507 --> 00:13:18,099 Come on! 247 00:13:21,107 --> 00:13:22,699 How's it going? 248 00:13:22,787 --> 00:13:26,143 - Sir Galahad pulled me away. - They should be left to themselves. 249 00:13:26,227 --> 00:13:28,866 - They were! - Without anybody listening. 250 00:13:28,947 --> 00:13:32,064 Don't criticise me. You were a lot of help. "Clatter, clatter!" 251 00:13:32,147 --> 00:13:34,263 Harry and I just got talking about rugby. 252 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,577 Which we wanted to steer him away from! 253 00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,180 I'll go. 254 00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:40,622 Don't listen outside the door as you go past! 255 00:13:40,707 --> 00:13:43,983 Poor Lionel. It's a world full of women, isn't it? 256 00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:47,821 If it's not me and Sandy creating problems, it's Mum trying to solve them. 257 00:13:47,907 --> 00:13:51,582 Don't feel too sorry for me. I know men who'd kill to live in this house. 258 00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,819 - Hi, guys! - Hello, Alistair. 259 00:13:54,907 --> 00:13:57,785 - You were having lunch with Leo. - I did! 260 00:13:57,867 --> 00:14:00,904 The way you described him, I thought it would go on for days. 261 00:14:00,987 --> 00:14:02,386 Who is Leo? 262 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,937 - Alistair's role model at university. - What does he do now? 263 00:14:06,027 --> 00:14:09,224 - What doesn't he do! - I shouldn't have asked. 264 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:14,745 Would you mind if we slipped away to another part of the forest to talk. 265 00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:16,499 No, no, of course not. 266 00:14:16,587 --> 00:14:20,500 Not the sitting room! Sandy and Harry are getting back together. 267 00:14:20,587 --> 00:14:23,659 - All they'd said was "hello". - It's a start. 268 00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:26,307 You two stay here and we'll go. Come on, Lionel. 269 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:29,379 Where are we going to sit? In the bathroom? 270 00:14:33,347 --> 00:14:34,462 Now what? 271 00:14:34,547 --> 00:14:36,219 I just thought we'd go for a walk. 272 00:14:40,187 --> 00:14:42,621 That's not going for a walk. 273 00:14:49,587 --> 00:14:52,579 I see... It's just from door to door all day, is it? 274 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,385 Things could be afoot. 275 00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:57,823 Us. We're supposed to be afoot. Now will you come on! 276 00:14:58,947 --> 00:14:59,936 Marriage? 277 00:15:00,027 --> 00:15:01,938 That's right. The big "M". 278 00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:05,942 That isn't what you're supposed to do next. 279 00:15:06,027 --> 00:15:09,497 I know. I just should have had some warning. 280 00:15:09,587 --> 00:15:13,705 What was I supposed to do? Say, "Hey, I shall be proposing to you later today"? 281 00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,984 No... I don't know. Why? 282 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:20,343 - What kind of a question is that? - It's a fairly important one. 283 00:15:20,427 --> 00:15:23,260 Because... Can we go up to your bedroom? 284 00:15:25,307 --> 00:15:29,346 This isn't the one about thinking more clearly when we're lying down, is it? 285 00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:32,464 No. This is all wrong. 286 00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,617 This is a kitchen. You're making coffee. 287 00:15:35,707 --> 00:15:40,656 This should be happening on a beach in Acapulco or a ski lodge in St Moritz! 288 00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:42,624 And would I still be making coffee? 289 00:15:42,707 --> 00:15:43,901 Judy, I'm serious. 290 00:15:43,987 --> 00:15:45,659 Yes, I think you are. 291 00:15:45,747 --> 00:15:49,217 So, this is a kitchen. You picked the time and the spot. 292 00:15:49,307 --> 00:15:51,662 Could you at least stop making coffee? 293 00:15:52,787 --> 00:15:53,981 Sorry. 294 00:15:55,547 --> 00:15:58,505 As I told you before, "impulse" is my middle name. 295 00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:02,457 It suddenly happened to me on the way back from lunch. Kaboom! 296 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:06,745 The farthest your impulses have got you before is asking me to move in with you. 297 00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:11,218 I want you to know that that offer still stands should you say no to marriage. 298 00:16:12,787 --> 00:16:13,856 Thank you. 299 00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:19,226 But listen, Judy. Marriage is what I want. Marriage is what I need. 300 00:16:19,307 --> 00:16:22,902 Just try saying, "Mrs Alistair Deacon." 301 00:16:22,987 --> 00:16:25,820 Mrs Alistair "lmpulse" Deacon. 302 00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:28,858 This is no time for funnies, Judy! 303 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:32,622 I know. I just can't get over the suddenness of it all. 304 00:16:32,707 --> 00:16:36,416 - Hey. Rome wasn't built in a day. - What? 305 00:16:37,867 --> 00:16:40,620 Oh, no, that's the wrong one, isn't it? 306 00:16:40,707 --> 00:16:43,460 Forget it, Judy. Just say yes. 307 00:16:48,027 --> 00:16:53,181 Listen, Li... What would you say to me calling you Dad from now on? 308 00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,905 I'd say don't! 309 00:16:56,987 --> 00:16:58,500 Pops? 310 00:16:58,587 --> 00:17:01,181 I'd say don't on pain of death. 311 00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:04,623 You're going to be my father-in-law. I have to call you something. 312 00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:07,267 I am not Judy's father. 313 00:17:07,347 --> 00:17:08,336 Step-pops? 314 00:17:10,147 --> 00:17:12,820 Stick with Li. I don't like it, but I'm used to it. 315 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:15,262 Whatever you say... mate. 316 00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:22,224 - They've been in there for hours. - Lots to talk about. You, I suspect. 317 00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,502 Do I feel comfortable with that? 318 00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:25,576 I wouldn't. 319 00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:27,896 We've been talking. 320 00:17:27,987 --> 00:17:30,581 This is where you find out about the wedding arrangements. 321 00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:34,103 No, it isn't, not the honeymoon either. No, Judy's got an idea. 322 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,621 - It's just a suggestion. - Right. 323 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,663 If you hate the idea, then you must say so. 324 00:17:38,747 --> 00:17:39,941 We love it. 325 00:17:40,027 --> 00:17:43,497 But if you hate it, Alistair, you must say so. 326 00:17:43,587 --> 00:17:44,576 Right. 327 00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:48,296 Well, the house next door is up for sale. 328 00:17:48,387 --> 00:17:52,619 We could buy it and live next door to Mum and Lionel. What do you think? 329 00:18:03,027 --> 00:18:04,619 How's Tom Brown getting on? 330 00:18:04,707 --> 00:18:06,618 He's praying for little Arthur. 331 00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:09,260 You hate the idea, don't you? 332 00:18:09,347 --> 00:18:11,861 Not at all. Tom's a very well-intentioned boy. 333 00:18:11,947 --> 00:18:15,701 Don't be obtuse. The idea of Judy living next door. 334 00:18:15,787 --> 00:18:18,506 I don't hate the idea. I just don't think it's very good. 335 00:18:18,587 --> 00:18:21,465 - Why not? - Well... 336 00:18:21,547 --> 00:18:24,220 - I'll get a fair hearing on this, won't I? - Of course. 337 00:18:24,307 --> 00:18:26,218 Put it this way. 338 00:18:26,307 --> 00:18:29,697 If you were Judy, you'd like to live next door to you, wouldn't you? 339 00:18:29,787 --> 00:18:33,257 I'd like to live... Will you put that another way? 340 00:18:33,347 --> 00:18:37,226 I mean, I can see the attraction for Judy, but I can see the danger too. 341 00:18:37,307 --> 00:18:41,095 What chance does a marriage stand with the wife's mother living next door? 342 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,462 So I'm the wicked witch of the west, am I? 343 00:18:43,547 --> 00:18:46,425 Of course not, but you're a harbour. 344 00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:48,384 That sounds very flattering. 345 00:18:48,467 --> 00:18:50,025 A safe haven then. 346 00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:51,779 The first spat with Alistair, 347 00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:54,939 all Judy has to do is walk 30 feet and she's home to Mummy. 348 00:18:55,027 --> 00:18:56,665 Are you saying I'd take sides? 349 00:18:56,747 --> 00:18:59,864 - Of course you would. - Alistair could confide in you. 350 00:18:59,947 --> 00:19:02,381 I don't want Alistair to confide in me! 351 00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:04,059 Let them sort themselves out. 352 00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:06,263 I see. So Judy's crying on the doorstep 353 00:19:06,347 --> 00:19:08,542 and I say, "Go away, you can't come in."? 354 00:19:08,627 --> 00:19:11,346 - Did I say that? - No. 355 00:19:12,507 --> 00:19:14,975 Oh, well. Maybe they'll change their minds. 356 00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:17,535 I think Alistair should put his foot down. 357 00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:20,619 So you wouldn't want to live next to me then? 358 00:19:20,707 --> 00:19:23,619 Not if I were your son-in-law, no. 359 00:19:23,707 --> 00:19:25,937 Funny having Alistair for a son-in-law. 360 00:19:26,027 --> 00:19:28,143 Hilarious. 361 00:19:28,227 --> 00:19:30,024 Maybe Harry too. 362 00:19:30,107 --> 00:19:32,701 - Sandy isn't your daughter. - No, but she is almost. 363 00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:35,585 - Don't you think you're rushing things? - You never know. 364 00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:37,339 I tell you what, 365 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:41,545 If Sandy and Harry got married, they could buy the house on the other side 366 00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:44,539 and then we could all live next door to each other. 367 00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:55,458 Pity they don't have a jukebox here. I could put the funeral march on. 368 00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:57,777 - Sorry, Li. - Yeah, sorry. 369 00:19:57,867 --> 00:20:01,064 If I were single and young and in either of your shoes, 370 00:20:01,147 --> 00:20:03,058 I'd be grinning all over my face. 371 00:20:03,147 --> 00:20:06,617 It's just this living-next-door business. 372 00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:10,063 The more I think about it, the more the vibes say "wrong!" 373 00:20:10,147 --> 00:20:12,422 I'm sure Sandy wants me to give up rugby. 374 00:20:12,507 --> 00:20:15,180 I'd feel like I was under a microscope the whole time. 375 00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:17,462 I've loved rugby since I was a kid. 376 00:20:17,547 --> 00:20:20,857 - Judy wouldn't understand. - I can't make Sandy understand. 377 00:20:20,947 --> 00:20:25,577 The way you're carrying on, you should be sitting outside with a bottle of Tizer. 378 00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:28,386 That's not a Mr Kindness thing to say, Li. 379 00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:31,265 Listen to yourselves whingeing on. 380 00:20:31,347 --> 00:20:34,896 Judy wants this, Sandy wants that. What about what you want? 381 00:20:34,987 --> 00:20:37,501 - Yeah! - You're talking guy power, aren't you? 382 00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:40,503 I'm not talking about power of any kind. 383 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:43,147 I'm talking about the right to express an opinion. 384 00:20:43,227 --> 00:20:46,378 - We just have. - Yes, but to me! 385 00:20:46,467 --> 00:20:50,938 I'm not asking you to give up rugby, and I'm certainly not marrying you. 386 00:20:51,027 --> 00:20:53,939 There's a lot of the Che Guevara in you, Li. 387 00:20:54,027 --> 00:20:56,985 There is nothing of the Che Guevara in me. 388 00:20:57,067 --> 00:21:01,060 Just say what you want to say to the people you ought to say it to. 389 00:21:04,907 --> 00:21:07,057 Only don't say it was my idea. 390 00:21:12,787 --> 00:21:15,745 - What are you looking for? - Cheese. I can't find it. 391 00:21:19,827 --> 00:21:21,658 Oh! Thank you. 392 00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:26,139 - Do you know what Alistair's just said? - No. 393 00:21:26,227 --> 00:21:29,219 He doesn't want to live next door when he and Judy get married. 394 00:21:29,307 --> 00:21:30,342 Doesn't he? 395 00:21:30,427 --> 00:21:32,782 Don't sound so surprised. You know very well. 396 00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:34,016 Why would I? 397 00:21:34,107 --> 00:21:36,416 Because you said you wouldn't if you were him. 398 00:21:36,507 --> 00:21:40,978 Oh, yes. Perhaps they could buy the house two doors away. 399 00:21:42,507 --> 00:21:44,975 - I blame Judy. - Judy? What has she done? 400 00:21:45,067 --> 00:21:47,422 She let Alistair talk her round in five minutes. 401 00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,385 You're not a great one for democracy, are you? 402 00:21:50,467 --> 00:21:53,300 It's not a question of democracy, it's common sense. 403 00:21:53,387 --> 00:21:57,016 It's more important to a woman where she lives, everyone knows that. 404 00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:59,746 - Do they? - Yes, ask any woman. 405 00:21:59,827 --> 00:22:03,900 - Why are women suddenly "everyone"? - Don't split hairs. 406 00:22:03,987 --> 00:22:05,943 Yes, I really need to stop doing that. 407 00:22:06,027 --> 00:22:09,861 Look, it's for the two of them to decide and nobody else. 408 00:22:11,387 --> 00:22:15,141 - Erm, I've been thinking... - Oh, what? 409 00:22:15,227 --> 00:22:20,506 Well, when Judy gets married perhaps I should move out as well. 410 00:22:20,587 --> 00:22:22,942 Oh, why? Lionel, ask her why? 411 00:22:23,027 --> 00:22:24,779 You just did. 412 00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:29,423 Because you only took me in in the first place because I was unhappy. 413 00:22:29,507 --> 00:22:30,860 No, we wanted you. 414 00:22:30,947 --> 00:22:34,337 You make it sound as though we found you in a basket on the doorstep. 415 00:22:34,427 --> 00:22:35,780 I know you did, 416 00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:38,381 And I can't tell you how much I've appreciated it. 417 00:22:38,467 --> 00:22:40,822 But with Judy gone... 418 00:22:40,907 --> 00:22:44,263 I can't explain it... I'd feel like a lodger. 419 00:22:44,347 --> 00:22:47,384 Oh, don't be ridiculous. You're another member of the family. 420 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,900 You're like a daughter to me. 421 00:22:48,987 --> 00:22:51,899 Lionel, you think of Sandy as a daughter, don't you? 422 00:22:51,987 --> 00:22:56,060 I can't honestly say yes to that, But there's no reason to go, Sandy. 423 00:22:56,147 --> 00:23:01,267 Well, maybe. I don't know. Let me think about it. 424 00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:04,581 Oh! 425 00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:07,386 - Now don't start. - No, I'm not starting. 426 00:23:14,027 --> 00:23:17,576 Why should you say we want an early night? I'm not even tired. 427 00:23:17,667 --> 00:23:20,340 I'm just being discreet, for the sake of the chil... 428 00:23:20,427 --> 00:23:22,782 You were going to say "children", weren't you? 429 00:23:22,867 --> 00:23:25,620 Young people. Anyway, if you put your mind to it, 430 00:23:25,707 --> 00:23:28,426 you can finish Tom Brown's Schooldays. 431 00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:31,863 I'll be honest. I find Tom better in short bursts. 432 00:23:31,947 --> 00:23:34,939 Well, you'll have plenty of space when the girls have gone. 433 00:23:35,027 --> 00:23:38,178 - You're starting. - No, I am not starting! 434 00:23:38,267 --> 00:23:40,462 It will just seem funny just the two of us. 435 00:23:40,547 --> 00:23:45,302 - Make it sound like a prison sentence. - No, I don't mean that at all - just funny. 436 00:23:45,387 --> 00:23:50,381 - You'd miss the girls, wouldn't you? - Yes, I suppose so, in some ways. 437 00:23:50,467 --> 00:23:53,345 "In some ways"? In what ways wouldn't you miss them? 438 00:23:53,427 --> 00:23:55,019 I don't have a secret list. 439 00:23:55,107 --> 00:23:57,382 Oh, a list suggests quite a lot of reasons. 440 00:23:57,467 --> 00:23:59,458 I just said I don't have a list. 441 00:23:59,547 --> 00:24:01,458 If you had a list for not missing them, 442 00:24:01,547 --> 00:24:04,664 would it be bigger or smaller than the list for missing them? 443 00:24:06,507 --> 00:24:11,103 - I think I'll have a bath. - It was a perfectly simple question. 444 00:24:11,187 --> 00:24:12,666 Quite a long bath. 445 00:24:14,307 --> 00:24:17,299 Honestly, Harry, I'm not asking you to give up rugby. 446 00:24:17,387 --> 00:24:20,299 - Because I couldn't, you see. - I know. 447 00:24:22,667 --> 00:24:26,706 - Do you like cricket? - I'm not mad about it, why? 448 00:24:26,787 --> 00:24:29,585 Well, that's not till the summer anyway. 449 00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:31,862 You know, I've been thinking. 450 00:24:31,947 --> 00:24:35,098 I really appreciated you coming round yesterday. 451 00:24:35,187 --> 00:24:37,940 There's nothing to appreciate. I missed you. 452 00:24:38,027 --> 00:24:41,258 Oh, but Saturdays are rugby days. 453 00:24:41,347 --> 00:24:43,303 Postponed it. 454 00:24:43,387 --> 00:24:45,855 - The whole game? - Nothing more to do. 455 00:24:45,947 --> 00:24:49,257 You postponed a rugby game so that you could come and see me? 456 00:24:49,347 --> 00:24:51,622 No, the game was postponed. 457 00:24:51,707 --> 00:24:54,619 - Frozen pitch. - Oh, I see. 458 00:24:54,707 --> 00:24:57,779 - But I would have come round anyway. - Would you really? 459 00:24:57,867 --> 00:25:00,142 Of course I would. 460 00:25:00,227 --> 00:25:01,979 As soon as the game was over. 461 00:25:04,627 --> 00:25:08,905 If I'm honest I'm glad you put your foot down about us living next door. 462 00:25:08,987 --> 00:25:12,138 Really? He's a wise old bird, Li. 463 00:25:12,227 --> 00:25:14,582 What's Lionel got to do with it? 464 00:25:15,987 --> 00:25:18,421 Nothing. Nothing at all. 465 00:25:18,507 --> 00:25:21,817 It was just a general observation. 466 00:25:21,907 --> 00:25:27,459 You know - if our first child is a little boy, I think we should call him Lionel. 467 00:25:27,547 --> 00:25:30,937 It's a grown-up name. You can't call a little baby Lionel. 468 00:25:32,307 --> 00:25:36,505 - What about Jean then? - I don't think a baby boy would like that. 469 00:25:36,587 --> 00:25:38,066 I mean if we have a baby girl. 470 00:25:38,147 --> 00:25:41,423 I know. Well, Mum would like that. 471 00:25:41,507 --> 00:25:43,782 It's odd, isn't it? Here we are, sitting here, 472 00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:46,904 talking about where we're going to live and having babies. 473 00:25:46,987 --> 00:25:49,296 Yesterday you put off having lunch with me, 474 00:25:49,387 --> 00:25:52,424 - so you could see a college friend. - And I'm glad I did, Judy, 475 00:25:52,507 --> 00:25:54,498 that's what really made me propose. 476 00:25:54,587 --> 00:25:56,543 You don't mean it was his idea? 477 00:25:56,627 --> 00:25:57,662 What, Leo? 478 00:25:58,827 --> 00:26:01,341 Leo once described marriage as an institution 479 00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:03,463 to which only lunatics get committed. 480 00:26:03,547 --> 00:26:06,778 - No. It was just seeing him again. - I don't follow. 481 00:26:06,867 --> 00:26:09,176 Judy, the guy was a wreck. 482 00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:11,986 A burnt-out shell of a man. A husk. 483 00:26:12,067 --> 00:26:15,218 So you came home and proposed to me? 484 00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:19,380 Well, don't you see? Leo's only a couple of years older than I am. 485 00:26:19,467 --> 00:26:23,221 A guy can't go on burning the candle in the middle and at both ends forever. 486 00:26:23,307 --> 00:26:25,946 If I don't do something now, I could end up like that! 487 00:26:26,027 --> 00:26:28,587 Which makes me the "something"? 488 00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:30,783 Well... yes. 489 00:26:31,867 --> 00:26:34,620 What do you think I am? A Salvation Army hostel? 490 00:26:34,707 --> 00:26:36,459 Judy! 491 00:26:36,547 --> 00:26:38,583 You go and get yourself a nanny! 492 00:26:43,147 --> 00:26:46,856 "Of course I would have come round as soon as the game was over!" 493 00:26:46,947 --> 00:26:48,539 Can you believe that? 494 00:26:48,627 --> 00:26:51,505 He was just being a bit too honest for his own good. 495 00:26:51,587 --> 00:26:53,623 His own good! What about my own good? 496 00:26:53,707 --> 00:26:55,777 Oh, of course. 497 00:26:55,867 --> 00:27:00,065 I mean, if he doesn't find me a more attractive shape than a rugby ball, 498 00:27:00,147 --> 00:27:01,660 then what is the point? 499 00:27:01,747 --> 00:27:04,420 The rugby season can't go on forever, can it? 500 00:27:04,507 --> 00:27:08,341 It doesn't have to. He's got the cricket season next. 501 00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,145 Oh, I don't know. 502 00:27:10,227 --> 00:27:12,058 Come in. 503 00:27:15,227 --> 00:27:16,865 Oh! Where's Lionel? 504 00:27:16,947 --> 00:27:17,902 He's having a bath. 505 00:27:17,987 --> 00:27:20,103 Move over. 506 00:27:20,187 --> 00:27:23,418 Oh, what's the matter, love? 507 00:27:23,507 --> 00:27:25,304 Alistair's the matter! 508 00:27:25,387 --> 00:27:28,026 Do you know what he thinks a wife is for? 509 00:27:28,107 --> 00:27:32,419 To stop him turning into a burnt-out shell like his ex-hero! 510 00:27:32,507 --> 00:27:35,067 - Men! - Men! 511 00:27:36,347 --> 00:27:38,656 Oh, not you as well? 512 00:27:38,747 --> 00:27:40,578 It's not our day, is it? 513 00:27:40,667 --> 00:27:43,625 - Rugby? - What else? 514 00:27:43,707 --> 00:27:45,823 - I don't know. - I don't know. 515 00:27:45,907 --> 00:27:47,226 I don't know. 516 00:27:48,587 --> 00:27:53,456 One of the bulbs in the bathroom is flickering. I think... Oh. 517 00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:54,946 - Hello, Lionel. - Hello. 518 00:27:55,027 --> 00:27:57,746 The girls were in need of a little tender loving care. 519 00:27:57,827 --> 00:27:59,499 Yes, of course. 520 00:28:00,787 --> 00:28:03,585 - Where are you going? - To have another bath. 521 00:28:12,907 --> 00:28:15,785 # You must remember this 522 00:28:15,867 --> 00:28:18,381 # A kiss is still a kiss 523 00:28:18,467 --> 00:28:21,618 # A sigh is just a sigh 524 00:28:23,747 --> 00:28:27,422 # The fundamental things apply 525 00:28:27,507 --> 00:28:31,056 # As time goes by 526 00:28:34,787 --> 00:28:37,096 # And when two lovers woo 527 00:28:37,187 --> 00:28:40,099 # They still say I love you 528 00:28:40,187 --> 00:28:43,657 # On that you can rely 529 00:28:45,627 --> 00:28:50,018 # The world will always welcome lovers 530 00:28:51,627 --> 00:28:59,625 # As time goes by # 42910

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