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1
00:00:09,267 --> 00:00:11,781
# You must remember this
2
00:00:11,867 --> 00:00:14,745
# A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:14,827 --> 00:00:17,864
# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:23,941
# The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:24,027 --> 00:00:27,781
# As time goes by #
6
00:00:30,587 --> 00:00:33,977
Oh! Oh! Oh!
7
00:00:35,707 --> 00:00:39,586
What's the matter? Are you all right?
8
00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:42,386
I shall never play the violin again,
that's for sure.
9
00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:44,503
You shouldn't have carried so much.
10
00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:46,384
We shouldn't have sent so much!
11
00:00:46,467 --> 00:00:49,425
"A few things to be dry cleaned
for the charity shop," you said.
12
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,941
I'm not only in pain, I'm bankrupt as well.
13
00:00:52,027 --> 00:00:55,497
- Is that all?
- Look, I'm entitled to a little moan.
14
00:00:55,587 --> 00:00:57,305
No, I mean is that
all the dry cleaning?
15
00:00:57,387 --> 00:01:00,697
There's one more load.
Have I got some gloves somewhere?
16
00:01:00,787 --> 00:01:03,017
You do make a fuss. I'll go.
17
00:01:03,107 --> 00:01:05,826
Don't try to carry it all at once!
18
00:01:29,587 --> 00:01:34,103
Ow! Ow! Ow!
19
00:01:34,187 --> 00:01:36,462
- Making a bit of a fuss, aren't you?
- Ow.
20
00:01:36,547 --> 00:01:38,777
If my hands didn't hurt so much,
I'd punch you.
21
00:01:38,867 --> 00:01:42,303
I don't know about Help The Aged,
I feel like the aged.
22
00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:44,264
Nonsense. You're a young stag.
23
00:01:44,347 --> 00:01:46,986
Hmm... Is it me or is it draughty in here?
24
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:49,786
It's you. No, it isn't.
I've left the door open.
25
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:52,017
You're meant to say, "I'll get it, dear".
26
00:01:52,107 --> 00:01:55,258
I'm not sure I could grasp the
door-handle with hands like these.
27
00:01:55,347 --> 00:01:57,383
You used to be an officer
and a gentleman.
28
00:01:57,467 --> 00:02:00,186
I lied. I was actually
only ever a lance corporal.
29
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,302
- Good gracious!
- What?
30
00:02:04,387 --> 00:02:06,742
- The Duncans are moving.
- Who are the Duncans?
31
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,897
- The people who live next door!
- Oh, yes.
32
00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:12,218
- There's a For Sale sign up.
- That is the normal practice.
33
00:02:12,307 --> 00:02:15,458
- They only moved in a few weeks ago.
- Yes, they did.
34
00:02:15,547 --> 00:02:17,299
Why would they want to move so soon?
35
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,947
Perhaps they don't like their neighbours.
36
00:02:20,027 --> 00:02:22,177
I don't know, do I? I'm not going to ask.
37
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:26,579
Nor am I. They're either in each other's
arms or at each other's throats.
38
00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:29,818
If you found them rolling on the ground,
you mightn't know which.
39
00:02:29,907 --> 00:02:30,817
- Oh dear.
- What?
40
00:02:30,907 --> 00:02:32,818
I've just realised what this means.
41
00:02:32,907 --> 00:02:36,377
Weeks and weeks of "I wonder what
the next neighbours will be like?"
42
00:02:36,467 --> 00:02:38,583
I shouldn't worry about it if I were you.
43
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,464
- Come on.
- Where?
44
00:02:40,547 --> 00:02:43,380
We've got to get
this stuff down to the charity shop.
45
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:45,822
- In the car?
- Of course in the car.
46
00:02:45,907 --> 00:02:48,216
We're not going to take it
in a wheelbarrow.
47
00:02:48,307 --> 00:02:53,222
Why did we take it out of the car
and bring it all in here in the first place?
48
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:56,344
- Are you ready?
- I suppose so.
49
00:02:56,427 --> 00:03:01,137
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
50
00:03:01,227 --> 00:03:04,060
- Open the door!
- I can't open the door!
51
00:03:07,307 --> 00:03:09,662
There you are. What are you doing?
52
00:03:09,747 --> 00:03:12,136
- Working.
- It's Saturday.
53
00:03:12,227 --> 00:03:14,104
I'm not breaking any local bylaw, am I?
54
00:03:14,187 --> 00:03:17,782
Look, why don't you just ring Harry?
55
00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:20,062
Why doesn't Harry ring me?
56
00:03:20,147 --> 00:03:22,422
The last time he came round,
you told him to go away.
57
00:03:22,507 --> 00:03:24,179
I know. And he did!
58
00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:27,384
Now you understand that
and I understand that.
59
00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:31,460
But men will take things literally
sometimes. Maybe that's what Harry did.
60
00:03:31,547 --> 00:03:34,664
Or maybe he had a rugby match to go to.
61
00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:38,057
If that should be Harry, tell him that...
62
00:03:38,147 --> 00:03:40,615
If it's Harry,
I'm not gonna tell him anything.
63
00:03:40,707 --> 00:03:44,416
If I were you, I would just sprawl
provocatively on the sofa.
64
00:03:44,507 --> 00:03:46,179
That's game playing.
65
00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,780
Of course it is.
66
00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,464
I don't call that very provocative.
67
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:11,938
Why should Sandy want to look
provocative for me? Not that I mind.
68
00:04:12,027 --> 00:04:14,336
I don't know why
you put up with him sometimes.
69
00:04:14,427 --> 00:04:17,225
- Let me list a few hundred reasons.
- Please don't.
70
00:04:17,307 --> 00:04:20,504
- You're very early. I'm not ready yet.
- That's the thing of it.
71
00:04:20,587 --> 00:04:23,784
- Could we take a rain check on lunch?
- Why?
72
00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:28,497
Because I just had a call from an old
friend who's only in town for the day.
73
00:04:28,587 --> 00:04:30,942
- Go on.
- Carefully, if I were you.
74
00:04:31,027 --> 00:04:32,619
Not that kind of old friend.
75
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:36,666
This is a guy I knew at university.
Leo Villiers, known as Nutcase.
76
00:04:36,747 --> 00:04:39,056
Has he just been released
from somewhere?
77
00:04:39,147 --> 00:04:41,422
Judy, please! This guy was an icon!
78
00:04:41,507 --> 00:04:43,941
"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt."
79
00:04:44,027 --> 00:04:46,780
He was the first!
I used to worship old Nutcase.
80
00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:50,143
But he always made me feel so...
ordinary.
81
00:04:50,227 --> 00:04:55,062
- I'd like to meet him.
- That's an idea! Come for lunch with us!
82
00:04:55,147 --> 00:04:57,024
It was just a figure of speech.
83
00:04:57,107 --> 00:05:00,099
Sandy could come as well, bring Har...
Harry.
84
00:05:00,187 --> 00:05:02,496
Old Nutcase would turn it into a rave!
85
00:05:02,587 --> 00:05:05,784
Harry and I aren't exactly raving
at present.
86
00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:08,586
Oh, no, right. Sorry.
87
00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:14,586
I mean, does that guy want his eyes
testing, or what?
88
00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,420
You'll be going now, then?
89
00:05:17,507 --> 00:05:19,702
Hmm? Oh, right.
90
00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:21,661
Goodbye, beautiful.
91
00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:26,582
Beautiful square, that is.
92
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,859
You know, I almost wish I had gone now.
93
00:05:31,947 --> 00:05:34,256
You'd be bored out of your skull.
94
00:05:34,347 --> 00:05:38,101
They'll be straight down memory lane.
Pubs they were thrown out of,
95
00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:40,621
women they chased,
women they caught,
96
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:44,700
tutorials they missed, whose pants
they flew from the flagpole.
97
00:05:44,787 --> 00:05:46,505
Yeah, I know all that.
98
00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:51,297
No, I'd just like to meet the man
that can make Alistair feel ordinary.
99
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,017
- Will you shout how many?
- How many what?
100
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,337
- How many for lunch.
- Oh, all right.
101
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,703
- How many for lunch?
- Why is he shouting?
102
00:06:02,787 --> 00:06:05,017
- He's just being funny.
- Right.
103
00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:08,224
It's just you two actually.
I'm taking Sandy out for lunch.
104
00:06:08,307 --> 00:06:10,741
- Have a chat, run down men,
cheer her up a bit.
105
00:06:10,827 --> 00:06:11,862
Good idea.
106
00:06:11,947 --> 00:06:14,222
Men don't have lunches
to run down women.
107
00:06:15,747 --> 00:06:16,702
We don't.
108
00:06:17,387 --> 00:06:18,502
- Ready.
- Right.
109
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,339
- I'll see you later.
- Bye.
110
00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:23,976
- We don't.
- Well, don't go on about it.
111
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,501
I sometimes feel outnumbered
in this house.
112
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,543
Oh, poor old thing.
113
00:06:29,787 --> 00:06:33,621
- it's a shame about Harry and Sandy.
- I blame Sandy.
114
00:06:33,707 --> 00:06:37,905
"Tell him I don't want to see him." Two
minutes later she's asking why he went!
115
00:06:37,987 --> 00:06:40,740
- But she was bluffing.
- I've worked that out.
116
00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:43,295
And it's her fault
that Harry called her bluff.
117
00:06:43,387 --> 00:06:46,857
To a point, yes. He had a right to keep
her guessing for a bit,
118
00:06:46,947 --> 00:06:49,302
but then he should have
come round again.
119
00:06:49,387 --> 00:06:51,218
- As another bluff?
- No!
120
00:06:51,307 --> 00:06:54,458
I give up. We didn't carry on
like that in our day, did we?
121
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,503
No, but then we didn't have
enough days.
122
00:06:56,587 --> 00:07:00,341
- You mean, if you had had?
- And we were in love.
123
00:07:00,427 --> 00:07:03,305
I prefer that answer.
124
00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:07,266
- Are Sandy and Harry in love?
- I don't know.
125
00:07:07,347 --> 00:07:09,099
They're very fond of each other.
126
00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:15,779
- Where are you going?
- To phone.
127
00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:17,459
Oh.
128
00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:23,586
Put that book down.
129
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:24,622
What do you mean?
130
00:07:24,707 --> 00:07:28,063
I know who you're phoning. Harry.
That's why you sneaked in here.
131
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:31,617
I didn't sneak anywhere.
I came in to look his phone number up.
132
00:07:31,707 --> 00:07:33,299
You shouldn't phone him.
133
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,662
You don't even know
what I'm going to say.
134
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,136
You're not just going to pass
the time of day.
135
00:07:38,227 --> 00:07:42,664
They're just two young people who've
fallen out and got on their high horses.
136
00:07:42,747 --> 00:07:46,865
- You're going to make them dismount?
- Something like that, yes.
137
00:07:46,947 --> 00:07:49,825
- It's nothing too arch, is it?
- It isn't arch at all.
138
00:07:49,907 --> 00:07:53,138
I'm simply asking him to come round
so that they can sort it out.
139
00:07:53,227 --> 00:07:54,899
I see.
140
00:07:54,987 --> 00:07:57,820
Hello, Harry? It's Jean.
141
00:07:58,707 --> 00:08:00,345
Yes, I'm very well, thank you.
142
00:08:00,427 --> 00:08:02,895
Harry, I'll come straight to the point.
143
00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:04,818
Sandy wants to see you.
144
00:08:04,907 --> 00:08:07,705
Yes, could you come round?
145
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,186
Oh, any time.
146
00:08:10,187 --> 00:08:14,339
Yes, yes, an hour - that would be fine.
All right, I'll see you then.
147
00:08:15,427 --> 00:08:16,985
Why are you looking like that?
148
00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:20,218
- "Sandy wants to see you," you said.
- She does, deep down.
149
00:08:20,307 --> 00:08:22,662
You made it sound like
a personal invitation!
150
00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:25,978
- That's just an interpretation.
- It's not, it's the truth.
151
00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:27,739
It'll be OK once they're together.
152
00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:31,502
You're doing it again.
You're flying in the face of reason.
153
00:08:31,587 --> 00:08:35,375
What's Sandy going to say when Harry
says "Why did you want to see me?
154
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:37,503
- Ah...
- Yes, "ah".
155
00:08:37,587 --> 00:08:41,341
I'll tell Harry it was my idea
and let them sort it out.
156
00:08:41,427 --> 00:08:45,500
And then if Sandy throws a wobbly, you
can go up to her room and get her out.
157
00:08:45,587 --> 00:08:48,465
Oh no, if I try that,
she'll say she's not dressed.
158
00:08:48,547 --> 00:08:49,980
She'd probably be bluffing.
159
00:08:50,067 --> 00:08:52,217
Do you want me
to be the one who finds out?
160
00:08:52,307 --> 00:08:56,698
I'll go up and drag her out.
That's that settled.
161
00:08:56,787 --> 00:09:00,018
That's what Chamberlain said
when he came back from Munich.
162
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,825
- Just a minute!
- Now what?
163
00:09:01,907 --> 00:09:04,182
"Come round in an hour," you said.
164
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,258
- It will.
- In case you've forgotten,
165
00:09:06,347 --> 00:09:08,258
- Sandy's just gone out.
- I know that.
166
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:12,056
It will give us a chance to have a little
chat to Harry before she gets back.
167
00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:13,466
Let's go and have lunch.
168
00:09:13,547 --> 00:09:15,538
Suddenly I'm not very hungry.
169
00:09:20,747 --> 00:09:23,739
- I'm not lecturing him.
- I'm not asking you to lecture him.
170
00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:28,662
I'm asking you to get him concentrated
on Sandy and not sport. Ready?
171
00:09:31,307 --> 00:09:32,626
Hello, Harry. Come in.
172
00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:34,186
- Hello, thanks.
- Hello.
173
00:09:34,267 --> 00:09:35,905
Hello.
174
00:09:35,987 --> 00:09:37,466
You said that Sandy wanted...
175
00:09:37,547 --> 00:09:39,777
- She does, she does.
- Cup of tea, Harry?
176
00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:42,461
- No, thanks.
- Or coffee? Won't take long to make.
177
00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:44,742
Lionel! Harry, do go in.
178
00:09:50,027 --> 00:09:51,824
- Do sit down.
- Thank you.
179
00:09:58,427 --> 00:10:00,383
How's the police force?
180
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,981
I can't speak for all of it,
but my bit's all right.
181
00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:04,261
Good.
182
00:10:04,347 --> 00:10:05,700
Sure you wouldn't like
a cup of something?
183
00:10:05,787 --> 00:10:08,824
Lionel, sit down. Harry's come to chat.
184
00:10:09,907 --> 00:10:12,467
- Where is Sandy?
- She's out to lunch.
185
00:10:12,547 --> 00:10:15,459
- But you said she wanted to see me.
- She does.
186
00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:16,980
Then why has she gone out?
187
00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:20,218
Because she didn't know
you would be here.
188
00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:23,504
- You might as well come clean.
- I'm coming clean!
189
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:28,425
Harry, Sandy doesn't know
that I phoned you.
190
00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:30,225
But I know she really wants to see you,
191
00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:32,775
- so I, well, sort of...
- Stitched me up.
192
00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,095
No! Please don't go.
193
00:10:34,187 --> 00:10:36,747
You're here now
and I know she won't walk away.
194
00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:39,102
I mean, before,
when she asked you to go away,
195
00:10:39,187 --> 00:10:41,655
- she didn't want you to go away.
- Why say it then?
196
00:10:41,747 --> 00:10:43,624
- That's what I said.
- Because...
197
00:10:46,107 --> 00:10:48,063
Never mind. Please, stay.
198
00:10:50,827 --> 00:10:52,783
It was the trip to Jersey that did it.
199
00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:56,655
Sandy thought it was a little break
for the two of you, not a rugby tour.
200
00:10:56,747 --> 00:10:59,659
- She comes to watch me play.
- Because she likes you.
201
00:10:59,747 --> 00:11:03,103
Not because she likes standing
on a cold touchline for two hours.
202
00:11:03,187 --> 00:11:05,098
- 80 minutes.
- 80 minutes then!
203
00:11:05,187 --> 00:11:08,065
Sandy's not asking me to give up rugby?
204
00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,661
- Of course not.
- It's more than just a game.
205
00:11:10,747 --> 00:11:13,500
You've played rugby,
haven't you, Mr Hardcastle?
206
00:11:13,587 --> 00:11:16,977
Lionel. Yes, I did.
At school, then in the army.
207
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,978
Not once I got posted to Korea though.
208
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,376
- Were you in Korea?
- Over a year.
209
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,503
I've got an uncle who was in Korea.
210
00:11:23,587 --> 00:11:26,340
- Not in the Middlesex regiment?
- No, Gloucesters.
211
00:11:26,427 --> 00:11:32,024
A fine regiment. You know,
if I was asked to name just one thing
212
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:34,177
that reminded me of playing rugby,
213
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:38,738
it wouldn't be a particular match
or the smell of embrocation and sweat.
214
00:11:38,827 --> 00:11:40,658
It would be a sound.
215
00:11:40,747 --> 00:11:44,706
The sound of studs clattering
on the changing room floor.
216
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,426
- Now isn't that funny?
- What? You too?
217
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:51,216
Yes. I don't suppose
you ever forget that sound.
218
00:11:51,307 --> 00:11:53,696
No, I don't suppose so. Clatter, clatter,
219
00:11:53,787 --> 00:11:57,257
- Clatter, clatter, clatter!
- Have you finished?
220
00:11:57,347 --> 00:11:59,702
- What?
- We were talking about Sandy!
221
00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,220
Oh, yes, sorry.
222
00:12:01,307 --> 00:12:02,786
- Well?
- Well what?
223
00:12:02,867 --> 00:12:04,744
- Lionel?
- What?
224
00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:07,387
Oh, what's the point?
225
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:11,346
There! Now we're too late because
they're back. Just don't talk about sport!
226
00:12:11,427 --> 00:12:13,338
Sandy! Harry's here.
227
00:12:13,427 --> 00:12:16,260
I don't want to see...
Yes, you do!
228
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:18,941
Here she is.
229
00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:21,177
Ahem... Hello, Sandy.
230
00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:22,222
Hello.
231
00:12:22,307 --> 00:12:23,660
Go away!
232
00:12:23,747 --> 00:12:26,466
Oh, yes. Excuse us.
233
00:12:26,547 --> 00:12:28,583
Harry called round.
234
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:31,022
- Yes, I can see that.
- Only because I was...
235
00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:33,098
He wanted to see you! So talk to him!
236
00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:37,260
Sor... Oh, sorry.
237
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,780
I didn't call round at all.
238
00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:46,903
You mean you just materialised?
239
00:12:46,987 --> 00:12:48,136
No, no, no...
240
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:54,497
Jean phoned.
She said you wanted to see me.
241
00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:57,579
- I said no such thing.
- I know.
242
00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:01,103
I do wish people would let us sort
things out for ourselves.
243
00:13:01,187 --> 00:13:04,259
We've not been doing a good job of it,
have we?
244
00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:06,258
No.
245
00:13:06,347 --> 00:13:10,226
- I've missed you.
- Oh, I've missed you too.
246
00:13:16,507 --> 00:13:18,099
Come on!
247
00:13:21,107 --> 00:13:22,699
How's it going?
248
00:13:22,787 --> 00:13:26,143
- Sir Galahad pulled me away.
- They should be left to themselves.
249
00:13:26,227 --> 00:13:28,866
- They were!
- Without anybody listening.
250
00:13:28,947 --> 00:13:32,064
Don't criticise me. You were a lot of help.
"Clatter, clatter!"
251
00:13:32,147 --> 00:13:34,263
Harry and I just got talking about rugby.
252
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,577
Which we wanted to steer him
away from!
253
00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,180
I'll go.
254
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:40,622
Don't listen outside the door
as you go past!
255
00:13:40,707 --> 00:13:43,983
Poor Lionel.
It's a world full of women, isn't it?
256
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:47,821
If it's not me and Sandy creating
problems, it's Mum trying to solve them.
257
00:13:47,907 --> 00:13:51,582
Don't feel too sorry for me. I know men
who'd kill to live in this house.
258
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,819
- Hi, guys!
- Hello, Alistair.
259
00:13:54,907 --> 00:13:57,785
- You were having lunch with Leo.
- I did!
260
00:13:57,867 --> 00:14:00,904
The way you described him,
I thought it would go on for days.
261
00:14:00,987 --> 00:14:02,386
Who is Leo?
262
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,937
- Alistair's role model at university.
- What does he do now?
263
00:14:06,027 --> 00:14:09,224
- What doesn't he do!
- I shouldn't have asked.
264
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:14,745
Would you mind if we slipped away
to another part of the forest to talk.
265
00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:16,499
No, no, of course not.
266
00:14:16,587 --> 00:14:20,500
Not the sitting room! Sandy and Harry
are getting back together.
267
00:14:20,587 --> 00:14:23,659
- All they'd said was "hello".
- It's a start.
268
00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:26,307
You two stay here and we'll go.
Come on, Lionel.
269
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:29,379
Where are we going to sit?
In the bathroom?
270
00:14:33,347 --> 00:14:34,462
Now what?
271
00:14:34,547 --> 00:14:36,219
I just thought we'd go for a walk.
272
00:14:40,187 --> 00:14:42,621
That's not going for a walk.
273
00:14:49,587 --> 00:14:52,579
I see... It's just from door
to door all day, is it?
274
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,385
Things could be afoot.
275
00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:57,823
Us. We're supposed to be afoot.
Now will you come on!
276
00:14:58,947 --> 00:14:59,936
Marriage?
277
00:15:00,027 --> 00:15:01,938
That's right. The big "M".
278
00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:05,942
That isn't what you're supposed
to do next.
279
00:15:06,027 --> 00:15:09,497
I know. I just should have had some
warning.
280
00:15:09,587 --> 00:15:13,705
What was I supposed to do? Say, "Hey,
I shall be proposing to you later today"?
281
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,984
No... I don't know. Why?
282
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:20,343
- What kind of a question is that?
- It's a fairly important one.
283
00:15:20,427 --> 00:15:23,260
Because...
Can we go up to your bedroom?
284
00:15:25,307 --> 00:15:29,346
This isn't the one about thinking more
clearly when we're lying down, is it?
285
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:32,464
No. This is all wrong.
286
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,617
This is a kitchen. You're making coffee.
287
00:15:35,707 --> 00:15:40,656
This should be happening on a beach in
Acapulco or a ski lodge in St Moritz!
288
00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:42,624
And would I still be making coffee?
289
00:15:42,707 --> 00:15:43,901
Judy, I'm serious.
290
00:15:43,987 --> 00:15:45,659
Yes, I think you are.
291
00:15:45,747 --> 00:15:49,217
So, this is a kitchen.
You picked the time and the spot.
292
00:15:49,307 --> 00:15:51,662
Could you at least stop making coffee?
293
00:15:52,787 --> 00:15:53,981
Sorry.
294
00:15:55,547 --> 00:15:58,505
As I told you before,
"impulse" is my middle name.
295
00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:02,457
It suddenly happened to me
on the way back from lunch. Kaboom!
296
00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:06,745
The farthest your impulses have got you
before is asking me to move in with you.
297
00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:11,218
I want you to know that that offer still
stands should you say no to marriage.
298
00:16:12,787 --> 00:16:13,856
Thank you.
299
00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:19,226
But listen, Judy. Marriage is what I want.
Marriage is what I need.
300
00:16:19,307 --> 00:16:22,902
Just try saying, "Mrs Alistair Deacon."
301
00:16:22,987 --> 00:16:25,820
Mrs Alistair "lmpulse" Deacon.
302
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:28,858
This is no time for funnies, Judy!
303
00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:32,622
I know. I just can't get over
the suddenness of it all.
304
00:16:32,707 --> 00:16:36,416
- Hey. Rome wasn't built in a day.
- What?
305
00:16:37,867 --> 00:16:40,620
Oh, no, that's the wrong one, isn't it?
306
00:16:40,707 --> 00:16:43,460
Forget it, Judy. Just say yes.
307
00:16:48,027 --> 00:16:53,181
Listen, Li... What would you say to me
calling you Dad from now on?
308
00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,905
I'd say don't!
309
00:16:56,987 --> 00:16:58,500
Pops?
310
00:16:58,587 --> 00:17:01,181
I'd say don't on pain of death.
311
00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:04,623
You're going to be my father-in-law.
I have to call you something.
312
00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:07,267
I am not Judy's father.
313
00:17:07,347 --> 00:17:08,336
Step-pops?
314
00:17:10,147 --> 00:17:12,820
Stick with Li.
I don't like it, but I'm used to it.
315
00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:15,262
Whatever you say... mate.
316
00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:22,224
- They've been in there for hours.
- Lots to talk about. You, I suspect.
317
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,502
Do I feel comfortable with that?
318
00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:25,576
I wouldn't.
319
00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:27,896
We've been talking.
320
00:17:27,987 --> 00:17:30,581
This is where you find out about
the wedding arrangements.
321
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:34,103
No, it isn't, not the honeymoon either.
No, Judy's got an idea.
322
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,621
- It's just a suggestion.
- Right.
323
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,663
If you hate the idea,
then you must say so.
324
00:17:38,747 --> 00:17:39,941
We love it.
325
00:17:40,027 --> 00:17:43,497
But if you hate it, Alistair,
you must say so.
326
00:17:43,587 --> 00:17:44,576
Right.
327
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:48,296
Well, the house next door is up for sale.
328
00:17:48,387 --> 00:17:52,619
We could buy it and live next door
to Mum and Lionel. What do you think?
329
00:18:03,027 --> 00:18:04,619
How's Tom Brown getting on?
330
00:18:04,707 --> 00:18:06,618
He's praying for little Arthur.
331
00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:09,260
You hate the idea, don't you?
332
00:18:09,347 --> 00:18:11,861
Not at all.
Tom's a very well-intentioned boy.
333
00:18:11,947 --> 00:18:15,701
Don't be obtuse.
The idea of Judy living next door.
334
00:18:15,787 --> 00:18:18,506
I don't hate the idea.
I just don't think it's very good.
335
00:18:18,587 --> 00:18:21,465
- Why not?
- Well...
336
00:18:21,547 --> 00:18:24,220
- I'll get a fair hearing on this, won't I?
- Of course.
337
00:18:24,307 --> 00:18:26,218
Put it this way.
338
00:18:26,307 --> 00:18:29,697
If you were Judy, you'd like to live next
door to you, wouldn't you?
339
00:18:29,787 --> 00:18:33,257
I'd like to live...
Will you put that another way?
340
00:18:33,347 --> 00:18:37,226
I mean, I can see the attraction for Judy,
but I can see the danger too.
341
00:18:37,307 --> 00:18:41,095
What chance does a marriage stand
with the wife's mother living next door?
342
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,462
So I'm the wicked witch of the west,
am I?
343
00:18:43,547 --> 00:18:46,425
Of course not, but you're a harbour.
344
00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:48,384
That sounds very flattering.
345
00:18:48,467 --> 00:18:50,025
A safe haven then.
346
00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:51,779
The first spat with Alistair,
347
00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:54,939
all Judy has to do is walk 30 feet
and she's home to Mummy.
348
00:18:55,027 --> 00:18:56,665
Are you saying I'd take sides?
349
00:18:56,747 --> 00:18:59,864
- Of course you would.
- Alistair could confide in you.
350
00:18:59,947 --> 00:19:02,381
I don't want Alistair to confide in me!
351
00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:04,059
Let them sort themselves out.
352
00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:06,263
I see. So Judy's crying on the doorstep
353
00:19:06,347 --> 00:19:08,542
and I say,
"Go away, you can't come in."?
354
00:19:08,627 --> 00:19:11,346
- Did I say that?
- No.
355
00:19:12,507 --> 00:19:14,975
Oh, well.
Maybe they'll change their minds.
356
00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:17,535
I think Alistair should put his foot down.
357
00:19:17,627 --> 00:19:20,619
So you wouldn't want
to live next to me then?
358
00:19:20,707 --> 00:19:23,619
Not if I were your son-in-law, no.
359
00:19:23,707 --> 00:19:25,937
Funny having Alistair for a son-in-law.
360
00:19:26,027 --> 00:19:28,143
Hilarious.
361
00:19:28,227 --> 00:19:30,024
Maybe Harry too.
362
00:19:30,107 --> 00:19:32,701
- Sandy isn't your daughter.
- No, but she is almost.
363
00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:35,585
- Don't you think you're rushing things?
- You never know.
364
00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:37,339
I tell you what,
365
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:41,545
If Sandy and Harry got married, they
could buy the house on the other side
366
00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:44,539
and then we could all live
next door to each other.
367
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:55,458
Pity they don't have a jukebox here.
I could put the funeral march on.
368
00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:57,777
- Sorry, Li.
- Yeah, sorry.
369
00:19:57,867 --> 00:20:01,064
If I were single and young
and in either of your shoes,
370
00:20:01,147 --> 00:20:03,058
I'd be grinning all over my face.
371
00:20:03,147 --> 00:20:06,617
It's just this living-next-door business.
372
00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:10,063
The more I think about it,
the more the vibes say "wrong!"
373
00:20:10,147 --> 00:20:12,422
I'm sure Sandy wants me
to give up rugby.
374
00:20:12,507 --> 00:20:15,180
I'd feel like I was under a microscope
the whole time.
375
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:17,462
I've loved rugby since I was a kid.
376
00:20:17,547 --> 00:20:20,857
- Judy wouldn't understand.
- I can't make Sandy understand.
377
00:20:20,947 --> 00:20:25,577
The way you're carrying on, you should
be sitting outside with a bottle of Tizer.
378
00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:28,386
That's not a Mr Kindness thing to say, Li.
379
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:31,265
Listen to yourselves whingeing on.
380
00:20:31,347 --> 00:20:34,896
Judy wants this, Sandy wants that.
What about what you want?
381
00:20:34,987 --> 00:20:37,501
- Yeah!
- You're talking guy power, aren't you?
382
00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:40,503
I'm not talking about power of any kind.
383
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:43,147
I'm talking about the right
to express an opinion.
384
00:20:43,227 --> 00:20:46,378
- We just have.
- Yes, but to me!
385
00:20:46,467 --> 00:20:50,938
I'm not asking you to give up rugby,
and I'm certainly not marrying you.
386
00:20:51,027 --> 00:20:53,939
There's a lot of the Che Guevara in you,
Li.
387
00:20:54,027 --> 00:20:56,985
There is nothing of the Che Guevara
in me.
388
00:20:57,067 --> 00:21:01,060
Just say what you want to say
to the people you ought to say it to.
389
00:21:04,907 --> 00:21:07,057
Only don't say it was my idea.
390
00:21:12,787 --> 00:21:15,745
- What are you looking for?
- Cheese. I can't find it.
391
00:21:19,827 --> 00:21:21,658
Oh! Thank you.
392
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:26,139
- Do you know what Alistair's just said?
- No.
393
00:21:26,227 --> 00:21:29,219
He doesn't want to live next door
when he and Judy get married.
394
00:21:29,307 --> 00:21:30,342
Doesn't he?
395
00:21:30,427 --> 00:21:32,782
Don't sound so surprised.
You know very well.
396
00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:34,016
Why would I?
397
00:21:34,107 --> 00:21:36,416
Because you said you wouldn't
if you were him.
398
00:21:36,507 --> 00:21:40,978
Oh, yes. Perhaps they could buy
the house two doors away.
399
00:21:42,507 --> 00:21:44,975
- I blame Judy.
- Judy? What has she done?
400
00:21:45,067 --> 00:21:47,422
She let Alistair talk her round
in five minutes.
401
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,385
You're not a great one
for democracy, are you?
402
00:21:50,467 --> 00:21:53,300
It's not a question of democracy,
it's common sense.
403
00:21:53,387 --> 00:21:57,016
It's more important to a woman
where she lives, everyone knows that.
404
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:59,746
- Do they?
- Yes, ask any woman.
405
00:21:59,827 --> 00:22:03,900
- Why are women suddenly "everyone"?
- Don't split hairs.
406
00:22:03,987 --> 00:22:05,943
Yes, I really need to stop doing that.
407
00:22:06,027 --> 00:22:09,861
Look, it's for the two of them
to decide and nobody else.
408
00:22:11,387 --> 00:22:15,141
- Erm, I've been thinking...
- Oh, what?
409
00:22:15,227 --> 00:22:20,506
Well, when Judy gets married
perhaps I should move out as well.
410
00:22:20,587 --> 00:22:22,942
Oh, why? Lionel, ask her why?
411
00:22:23,027 --> 00:22:24,779
You just did.
412
00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:29,423
Because you only took me in in the first
place because I was unhappy.
413
00:22:29,507 --> 00:22:30,860
No, we wanted you.
414
00:22:30,947 --> 00:22:34,337
You make it sound as though we found
you in a basket on the doorstep.
415
00:22:34,427 --> 00:22:35,780
I know you did,
416
00:22:35,867 --> 00:22:38,381
And I can't tell you
how much I've appreciated it.
417
00:22:38,467 --> 00:22:40,822
But with Judy gone...
418
00:22:40,907 --> 00:22:44,263
I can't explain it... I'd feel like a lodger.
419
00:22:44,347 --> 00:22:47,384
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
You're another member of the family.
420
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,900
You're like a daughter to me.
421
00:22:48,987 --> 00:22:51,899
Lionel, you think of Sandy
as a daughter, don't you?
422
00:22:51,987 --> 00:22:56,060
I can't honestly say yes to that,
But there's no reason to go, Sandy.
423
00:22:56,147 --> 00:23:01,267
Well, maybe. I don't know.
Let me think about it.
424
00:23:03,387 --> 00:23:04,581
Oh!
425
00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:07,386
- Now don't start.
- No, I'm not starting.
426
00:23:14,027 --> 00:23:17,576
Why should you say we want an early
night? I'm not even tired.
427
00:23:17,667 --> 00:23:20,340
I'm just being discreet,
for the sake of the chil...
428
00:23:20,427 --> 00:23:22,782
You were going to say "children",
weren't you?
429
00:23:22,867 --> 00:23:25,620
Young people.
Anyway, if you put your mind to it,
430
00:23:25,707 --> 00:23:28,426
you can finish Tom Brown's Schooldays.
431
00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:31,863
I'll be honest.
I find Tom better in short bursts.
432
00:23:31,947 --> 00:23:34,939
Well, you'll have plenty of space
when the girls have gone.
433
00:23:35,027 --> 00:23:38,178
- You're starting.
- No, I am not starting!
434
00:23:38,267 --> 00:23:40,462
It will just seem funny just the two of us.
435
00:23:40,547 --> 00:23:45,302
- Make it sound like a prison sentence.
- No, I don't mean that at all - just funny.
436
00:23:45,387 --> 00:23:50,381
- You'd miss the girls, wouldn't you?
- Yes, I suppose so, in some ways.
437
00:23:50,467 --> 00:23:53,345
"In some ways"?
In what ways wouldn't you miss them?
438
00:23:53,427 --> 00:23:55,019
I don't have a secret list.
439
00:23:55,107 --> 00:23:57,382
Oh, a list suggests quite a lot of reasons.
440
00:23:57,467 --> 00:23:59,458
I just said I don't have a list.
441
00:23:59,547 --> 00:24:01,458
If you had a list for not missing them,
442
00:24:01,547 --> 00:24:04,664
would it be bigger or smaller
than the list for missing them?
443
00:24:06,507 --> 00:24:11,103
- I think I'll have a bath.
- It was a perfectly simple question.
444
00:24:11,187 --> 00:24:12,666
Quite a long bath.
445
00:24:14,307 --> 00:24:17,299
Honestly, Harry,
I'm not asking you to give up rugby.
446
00:24:17,387 --> 00:24:20,299
- Because I couldn't, you see.
- I know.
447
00:24:22,667 --> 00:24:26,706
- Do you like cricket?
- I'm not mad about it, why?
448
00:24:26,787 --> 00:24:29,585
Well, that's not till the summer anyway.
449
00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:31,862
You know, I've been thinking.
450
00:24:31,947 --> 00:24:35,098
I really appreciated
you coming round yesterday.
451
00:24:35,187 --> 00:24:37,940
There's nothing to appreciate.
I missed you.
452
00:24:38,027 --> 00:24:41,258
Oh, but Saturdays are rugby days.
453
00:24:41,347 --> 00:24:43,303
Postponed it.
454
00:24:43,387 --> 00:24:45,855
- The whole game?
- Nothing more to do.
455
00:24:45,947 --> 00:24:49,257
You postponed a rugby game
so that you could come and see me?
456
00:24:49,347 --> 00:24:51,622
No, the game was postponed.
457
00:24:51,707 --> 00:24:54,619
- Frozen pitch.
- Oh, I see.
458
00:24:54,707 --> 00:24:57,779
- But I would have come round anyway.
- Would you really?
459
00:24:57,867 --> 00:25:00,142
Of course I would.
460
00:25:00,227 --> 00:25:01,979
As soon as the game was over.
461
00:25:04,627 --> 00:25:08,905
If I'm honest I'm glad you put your foot
down about us living next door.
462
00:25:08,987 --> 00:25:12,138
Really? He's a wise old bird, Li.
463
00:25:12,227 --> 00:25:14,582
What's Lionel got to do with it?
464
00:25:15,987 --> 00:25:18,421
Nothing. Nothing at all.
465
00:25:18,507 --> 00:25:21,817
It was just a general observation.
466
00:25:21,907 --> 00:25:27,459
You know - if our first child is a little boy,
I think we should call him Lionel.
467
00:25:27,547 --> 00:25:30,937
It's a grown-up name.
You can't call a little baby Lionel.
468
00:25:32,307 --> 00:25:36,505
- What about Jean then?
- I don't think a baby boy would like that.
469
00:25:36,587 --> 00:25:38,066
I mean if we have a baby girl.
470
00:25:38,147 --> 00:25:41,423
I know. Well, Mum would like that.
471
00:25:41,507 --> 00:25:43,782
It's odd, isn't it?
Here we are, sitting here,
472
00:25:43,867 --> 00:25:46,904
talking about where we're going to live
and having babies.
473
00:25:46,987 --> 00:25:49,296
Yesterday you put off
having lunch with me,
474
00:25:49,387 --> 00:25:52,424
- so you could see a college friend.
- And I'm glad I did, Judy,
475
00:25:52,507 --> 00:25:54,498
that's what really made me propose.
476
00:25:54,587 --> 00:25:56,543
You don't mean it was his idea?
477
00:25:56,627 --> 00:25:57,662
What, Leo?
478
00:25:58,827 --> 00:26:01,341
Leo once described marriage
as an institution
479
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:03,463
to which only lunatics get committed.
480
00:26:03,547 --> 00:26:06,778
- No. It was just seeing him again.
- I don't follow.
481
00:26:06,867 --> 00:26:09,176
Judy, the guy was a wreck.
482
00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:11,986
A burnt-out shell of a man. A husk.
483
00:26:12,067 --> 00:26:15,218
So you came home and proposed to me?
484
00:26:15,307 --> 00:26:19,380
Well, don't you see? Leo's only a couple
of years older than I am.
485
00:26:19,467 --> 00:26:23,221
A guy can't go on burning the candle
in the middle and at both ends forever.
486
00:26:23,307 --> 00:26:25,946
If I don't do something now,
I could end up like that!
487
00:26:26,027 --> 00:26:28,587
Which makes me the "something"?
488
00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:30,783
Well... yes.
489
00:26:31,867 --> 00:26:34,620
What do you think I am?
A Salvation Army hostel?
490
00:26:34,707 --> 00:26:36,459
Judy!
491
00:26:36,547 --> 00:26:38,583
You go and get yourself a nanny!
492
00:26:43,147 --> 00:26:46,856
"Of course I would have come round
as soon as the game was over!"
493
00:26:46,947 --> 00:26:48,539
Can you believe that?
494
00:26:48,627 --> 00:26:51,505
He was just being a bit
too honest for his own good.
495
00:26:51,587 --> 00:26:53,623
His own good!
What about my own good?
496
00:26:53,707 --> 00:26:55,777
Oh, of course.
497
00:26:55,867 --> 00:27:00,065
I mean, if he doesn't find me a more
attractive shape than a rugby ball,
498
00:27:00,147 --> 00:27:01,660
then what is the point?
499
00:27:01,747 --> 00:27:04,420
The rugby season can't go on forever,
can it?
500
00:27:04,507 --> 00:27:08,341
It doesn't have to.
He's got the cricket season next.
501
00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,145
Oh, I don't know.
502
00:27:10,227 --> 00:27:12,058
Come in.
503
00:27:15,227 --> 00:27:16,865
Oh! Where's Lionel?
504
00:27:16,947 --> 00:27:17,902
He's having a bath.
505
00:27:17,987 --> 00:27:20,103
Move over.
506
00:27:20,187 --> 00:27:23,418
Oh, what's the matter, love?
507
00:27:23,507 --> 00:27:25,304
Alistair's the matter!
508
00:27:25,387 --> 00:27:28,026
Do you know
what he thinks a wife is for?
509
00:27:28,107 --> 00:27:32,419
To stop him turning into a burnt-out
shell like his ex-hero!
510
00:27:32,507 --> 00:27:35,067
- Men!
- Men!
511
00:27:36,347 --> 00:27:38,656
Oh, not you as well?
512
00:27:38,747 --> 00:27:40,578
It's not our day, is it?
513
00:27:40,667 --> 00:27:43,625
- Rugby?
- What else?
514
00:27:43,707 --> 00:27:45,823
- I don't know.
- I don't know.
515
00:27:45,907 --> 00:27:47,226
I don't know.
516
00:27:48,587 --> 00:27:53,456
One of the bulbs in the bathroom
is flickering. I think... Oh.
517
00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:54,946
- Hello, Lionel.
- Hello.
518
00:27:55,027 --> 00:27:57,746
The girls were in need
of a little tender loving care.
519
00:27:57,827 --> 00:27:59,499
Yes, of course.
520
00:28:00,787 --> 00:28:03,585
- Where are you going?
- To have another bath.
521
00:28:12,907 --> 00:28:15,785
# You must remember this
522
00:28:15,867 --> 00:28:18,381
# A kiss is still a kiss
523
00:28:18,467 --> 00:28:21,618
# A sigh is just a sigh
524
00:28:23,747 --> 00:28:27,422
# The fundamental things apply
525
00:28:27,507 --> 00:28:31,056
# As time goes by
526
00:28:34,787 --> 00:28:37,096
# And when two lovers woo
527
00:28:37,187 --> 00:28:40,099
# They still say I love you
528
00:28:40,187 --> 00:28:43,657
# On that you can rely
529
00:28:45,627 --> 00:28:50,018
# The world will always welcome lovers
530
00:28:51,627 --> 00:28:59,625
# As time goes by #
42910
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