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1
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,103
Get your yearbooks.
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:08,173
Embrace the kennedy high spirit
And cling to the memories
Of the beautiful people.
3
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:12,311
You owe me 20 more bucks,
Or I'm gonna rip those braids
Out of your scalp.
4
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,980
Nic, speaking of memories,
I'm getting nostalgic.
5
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,716
I can't believe
It's the last day
Of our sophomore year.
6
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:18,884
I might cry.
7
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:21,252
I love
The merry month of may.
8
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,322
The only thing
I don't like about it
9
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,457
Are those ridiculous sweep
Cliffhanger stunts
10
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,959
That they always pull
On my favorite teen dramas.
11
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,630
There's always
A wedding or somebody
Gets pregnant or dies.
12
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,532
Or there's a terrifying
Natural disaster,
13
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,634
Or an appearance
By a cheesy boy band,
14
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,703
Or exploitative nudie shots
Of pretty boy asses.
15
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,340
Or how about those horrific
"When pets attack" stunts?
16
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:44,810
Or those hideous gratuitous
Musical numbers?
17
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,247
I'm for reality when one
Can bask in the thrill
Of sophomore skip day
18
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,182
And say good-bye
To dear friends.
19
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,551
Or enemies.
20
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:56,321
This is an outrage,
And I want my money back!
21
00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,825
This is not a yearbook!
It's a glamazon scrapbook.
22
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,629
You bitches only included
Candid photos of yourselves
In this thing.
23
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,632
Li'l lily, if you would
Stop trembling like
A death-row pal pooch
24
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,134
And turn to page 47,
25
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,537
You would see that we
Actually did include you.
26
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,375
Ooh!
You know what?
27
00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,443
Maybe you should skip
Sophomore skip day
28
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,479
And go get that
Lazy eye fixed.
29
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,480
Ahh!
30
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,582
[both] Whoo!
31
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:28,787
Okay, there is not a shot
Of you in this thing.
32
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:31,255
So why are you
Grinning like an idiot?
33
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:33,759
Just saying silent praise
To yahweh.
34
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,895
This is a year
I would rather forget.
35
00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,564
I've come to a realization.
Life is about two things.
36
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,667
Endings and beginnings.
Deaths and births.
37
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,102
Births?
38
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,737
What do you mean, births?
39
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,240
The end of school,
Tomorrow's long-dreaded wedding.
40
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:51,075
I decided I could look
At both as doors closing,
41
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:54,946
Or as windows opening
To new opportunities.
42
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,849
I've decided to accentuate
The positive, that's all.
43
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,851
[sighs]
44
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,933
[nicole's voice] dearest harrison, rot in hell, you zit-faced homo.
45
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,602
love, nicole.
46
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,872
[harrison's voice] nicole, hope you cure all your stds over the summer.
47
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,574
whore. Love, harrison.
48
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,610
No fun and frivolous
Yearbook signing
49
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,346
In my class,
50
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:30,549
Until I can have a crack
At a tone poem.
51
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,050
May I?
52
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:35,254
And, uh, mr. John,
Will you sign my book?
53
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:38,189
Say something.
We have one minute left
In this class,
54
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,659
And we need to get
Our final grades
To skip off to skip day
55
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:41,993
At magic mountain.
Right.
56
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,395
Um, miss glass?
57
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,498
Sir, could we get
Our final grades? Now?
58
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,433
Oh, certainly.
59
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,637
Miss mcqueen,
Of course, you get an a+.
60
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:56,408
As for the rest of you,
D's all around!
61
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,309
What?
You can't do that.
62
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:01,280
That is not fair, miss glass.
You can't give us a grade
63
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,348
Without handing back
Our final test.
64
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,783
I didn't grade your tests.
65
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,519
I was too busy cursing
Your individual images
66
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,854
As they appeared to me
In a fever dream.
67
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,824
You see, generation "Why me,"
68
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:18,129
You have been
My most disobedient,
Unfocused class ever!
69
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:22,534
Because canings are allowed
In singapore and not here
In the good old u.S. Of a.,
70
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:26,104
I've decided nonetheless
To smack your butts.
71
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:27,539
Glass-style!
72
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,642
Miss glass, why aren't any of
Our pictures in your yearbook?
73
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,844
Thanks for asking, harrison.
74
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,814
I've cut out your faces
And made a composite I.D. Sheet,
75
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,449
Which I've sent to the head
Of security at magic mountain.
76
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,752
If any of you skip school
And show up there,
77
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,322
You'll be immediately
Arrested for truancy.
78
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,856
So what, you fossil hag?
79
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,959
There's 150 other
Restaurants and hangouts
We could skip off to.
80
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,961
According to
My zagat's guide 155,
81
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:53,365
All of these places,
Along with the l.A.P.D.,
82
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:57,201
Have also been faxed
Your pinched little faces.
83
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,904
In short, you skip school today
Anywhere in this city,
84
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:04,175
And you will be arrested
And accordingly be
Held back a grade.
85
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,177
[bell rings]
Have a great summer!
86
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:12,951
Somebody ought to kill
That miss glass.
87
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,053
For once, mary cherry,
88
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:17,288
I agree with you.
89
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,831
♪ think it over once or twice ♪
90
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,167
♪ what lasts the longest
In this life ♪
91
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:33,672
♪ character or
Rock-hard thighs ♪
92
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,140
♪ in the end do you believe ♪
93
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,577
♪ that beauty lies
In what you see ♪
94
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,579
♪ 'cause if you do,
Then, baby ♪
95
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,714
♪ you've been deceived
96
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,384
♪ well, me and b ♪
97
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:49,053
♪ we hate supermodels ♪
98
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:58,697
♪ it's just that I'm tired
Of being compared ♪
99
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,779
Yo, I can't believe we got
Skip day privileges pulled.
100
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,848
Bobbi glass sucks!
101
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,750
Yo, scrub.
102
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,519
What's wrong?
You look all white.
103
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,021
Did you see bio glass
Naked or something?
104
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:26,290
Shh! Sugar, I think
That just might be my fate.
105
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:29,461
I think... I think
She desires me.
106
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,597
Check out what she wrote
In my yearbook. I am freaked.
107
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,400
"Dear harrison,
108
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:39,203
The sight of you
Makes my thighs sweaty."
109
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,973
Ugh! "I can't hold you back
A year, but next year I can
110
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:46,945
"And will hold you
In my tender sexual embrace.
111
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,914
Enjoy your summer.
Love, bio glass."
112
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,283
Harrison.
113
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,885
I'd like my pen back.
114
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,288
Is that what I see hiding under
That filmy, sexy tea towel?
115
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:07,265
Holy mother of god,
You're a goner!
116
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,433
I am so ashamed.
117
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,604
Hey, sug.
118
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,439
What up, baby?
119
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,042
I need your advice.
120
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:22,113
Look, being the last day
Of school and all,
121
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,181
Yeah?
122
00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:25,183
I really think
I've grown up this year.
123
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,718
But something's
Incomplete.
124
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,152
Your boo, brooke?
125
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,188
Yeah. I mean,
I really miss her, sug.
126
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:32,791
I want to bring life back
To a dead romance.
127
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:35,627
Do you have any ideas
That might win her back?
128
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,696
Look at bio glass
And harrison.
129
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:40,031
They prove that courtship
Begins not between the sheets
130
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,133
But between the pages
Of a yearbook.
131
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,435
Really?
132
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,570
A woman looks at what
You write at the year end
133
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,371
As a culmination
Of your feelings.
134
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,941
You write a good yearbook
Inscription to boo,
135
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:53,612
She's gonna sleep with you
As fast as her parents
Go on a honeymoon.
136
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,781
I guarantee it!
Yeah!
137
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,886
If miss glass hadn't
Pulled the skip day rug
Out from under you,
138
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:06,091
You wouldn't have come up
With such a good menu
For the rehearsal dinner.
139
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,125
Thanks, brooke.
140
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,393
Let's make a pact.
141
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:13,798
We make this dinner
A perfect night to remember,
142
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,301
With no glitches
And no problems.
143
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,336
A perfect launch
For their new life together.
144
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,509
Hi, brooke.
145
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,645
Oh, hey,
What's up?
146
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,580
I would love
To sign your yearbook.
147
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,182
Can I return it
When I'm done?
148
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,419
I want what I write
To be, you know, right.
149
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,855
Okay, sure.
150
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:40,358
I mean, we have been
Through a lot this year.
151
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:41,660
Thanks.
152
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,194
Shut up.
153
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,997
You guys are hilarious.
154
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,399
You're like one of those
Typical tv show couples
155
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,969
That breaks up, gets
Back together, breaks up,
156
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,838
Then gets back together
One last time
157
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,406
On the last show strictly
For commercial sweeps purposes.
158
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,842
I know!
159
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,779
Then what happened when
You ruined their skip day
160
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,981
And turned them
Into laughingstocks?
161
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:06,350
I told them to have
A great summer.
162
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,724
You should have seen
The look on their faces.
163
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:22,233
I can't believe this.
We're the only people...
164
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,802
Left in the whole school!
165
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,870
That hideous miss glass
Has ruined...
166
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,306
All our skip day fun.
We're...
167
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:30,008
Laughingstocks.
168
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:33,879
You just know she's
Sitting somewhere right now
Reveling in our torment.
169
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,248
Is that aramis you're wearing,
Vice principal calvin krupps?
170
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,618
No, no, that's
My natural body musk.
171
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:44,189
Can I pour you
A glass of remy martin
172
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:47,125
Before we do
Our morning announcements?
173
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,494
But it's noon, miss glass.
174
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,130
There's ten kids left
In this friggin' school.
You're principal now, stud.
175
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,464
They're on your time.
176
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,366
[chuckles]
Yes.
177
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,801
Hit it.
178
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,270
[dinging]
179
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:09,480
Good morning,
180
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,349
kennedy high students.
181
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:14,686
this is your acting principal, calvin krupps, and I am happy to say...
182
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,521
Bon voyage.
183
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,623
Oh, what a year
It has been.
184
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:22,527
A year of both traumatic lows
And awe-inspiring highs.
185
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:26,131
Looking back,
We've seen it all,
Haven't we, kids?
186
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:29,367
we watched as two of our girls from different walks of life
187
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,502
put their petty differences aside
188
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:34,105
and learned at long last to be sisters.
189
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,240
their journey was so drawn out and laborious
190
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,977
that many of us wondered, "Hey, what about my story?
191
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:41,712
when am I getting some screen time?"
192
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,848
as we move on,
193
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:47,552
the beginnings that await us will hopefully prove to be exciting.
194
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,188
maybe some of us will dabble with bisexuality,
195
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,656
like our gay parents have.
196
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:55,594
maybe one of us will learn it's what's inside that matters,
197
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,229
and maybe over the summer that person will date
198
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,464
and cherish exquisite woo.
199
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,434
maybe one of us will get back with our golden girl girlfriend
200
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:08,039
despite dark, flirtatious thoughts of quitting school and becoming a porn star,
201
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:11,943
and maybe one of us will grow up to become a hustler centerfold
202
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,945
or an axe murderer.
203
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,680
needless to say, kids, the future is yours.
204
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,283
think of this last day of school
205
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,252
as a fresh start.
206
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:25,523
just whatever you do, don't bring a bastard child into this world.
207
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:29,094
on a final note, please remember to pray for may tuna
208
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:32,096
Sorry.
who, thanks to a bacterial infection
209
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:35,166
brought on by dirt eating, now suffers a faulty heart valve
210
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,268
and is actively looking for a heart donor.
211
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,570
godspeed, may. and godspeed, everyone
212
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,573
Here at kennedy high.
213
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:53,351
♪ skip day is ruined ♪
214
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:57,388
♪ the knives are out ♪
215
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,723
♪ I mean no harm ♪
216
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,626
♪ or no need to alarm ♪
217
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:09,233
♪ but that bitch bobbi glass
Has got to pay ♪
218
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:16,875
♪ retribution would be a ball ♪
219
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:21,345
♪ bobbi glass has really
Got some gall ♪
220
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:26,750
♪ a little prank would
Truly hit the spot ♪
221
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:31,389
♪ and I'm sure that
It would mean a lot ♪
222
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:37,595
♪ to all of us here
To drink some payback juice ♪
223
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:43,234
♪ bobbi glass is a skank ♪
224
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:46,871
♪ who deserves a prank ♪
225
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:51,109
♪ a little teasing
'cause she stood in our way ♪
226
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:55,546
♪ all year long
She's really hit us low ♪
227
00:11:55,615 --> 00:12:00,151
♪ causing suffering
For all and joe ♪
228
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:04,956
♪ and I think it's quite clear ♪
229
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,592
♪ it's our turn to play ♪
230
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:15,967
♪ a dangerous liaison
To settle the score ♪
231
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:19,003
♪ but the wedding is tomorrow ♪
232
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,805
♪ a fresh beginning ♪
233
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,641
♪ we cannot risk a blot ♪
234
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:26,510
♪ besides, these things
Never work ♪
235
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,413
♪ with any aplomb ♪
236
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,351
♪ case in point,
teaching mrs. Tingle ♪
237
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,487
♪ a huge, stinking bomb ♪
238
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,190
♪ I agree with fair brooky ♪
239
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,126
♪ time for peace here,
Time for light ♪
240
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:46,998
♪ and I know
If the prank goes awry ♪
241
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,967
♪ I'll be blamed ♪
242
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,002
♪ people already think ♪
243
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:55,306
♪ I'm a psycho untamed ♪
244
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:59,577
♪ don't be quitters
You make me sick ♪
245
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,947
♪ I for one
Would agree with nic ♪
246
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,917
♪ there's no need for alarm ♪
247
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,419
♪ we'll cause
No real harm ♪
248
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,055
♪ we give her
A case of diarrhea ♪
249
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,158
You keep vials of e coli
Poisoning in your purse?
250
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:18,196
A girl never knows
When she'll need to lose
The odd 50 pounds.
251
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:24,168
♪ eye for an eyeball ♪
252
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,839
♪ a prank for a skank
Named miss glass ♪
253
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,276
♪ an eye for an eyeball ♪
254
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,279
♪ a scheme for the bitter ♪
255
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:39,550
♪ e coli would knock her
On her ass ♪
256
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,088
♪ all these kids with their
Privilege and clear skin ♪
257
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,925
♪ they make me quite sick ♪
258
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,094
♪ I barely make minimum wage ♪
259
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,931
♪ and I've never been licked ♪
260
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,335
♪ but I've got dreams
And I'm ruthless ♪
261
00:13:57,403 --> 00:14:00,438
♪ my vengeance
Isn't toothless ♪
262
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,474
♪ they all get d's ♪
263
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,978
♪ and no sophomore skip day ♪
264
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:07,978
Aha!
265
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,082
♪ an eye for an eyeball ♪
266
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:15,586
♪ miss glass
Will rue the day ♪
267
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:20,057
♪ a scheme for these students ♪
268
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:24,262
♪ a payback we shall make ♪
269
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,633
♪ then again,
I got an "A" ♪
270
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,735
♪ all year long
Miss glass's pet ♪
271
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,938
♪ to give her e coli ♪
272
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:38,142
♪ could jeopardize that ♪
273
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,613
♪ then the wedding,
Peace and quiet ♪
274
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,949
♪ how I've earned it,
How I yearn ♪
275
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:49,620
♪ for no disasters,
No hardships ♪
276
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:53,224
♪ just quiet grace ♪
277
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,594
♪ don't think I'm not like you ♪
278
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:58,096
♪ I long for quiet, too ♪
279
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:01,132
♪ this is how
We're gonna get it ♪
280
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,634
♪ joe will simply
Distract the beast ♪
281
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,936
♪ from her lunchtime
Shake-munching ♪
282
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,838
♪ and be done with it ♪
283
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,274
♪ don't give up ♪
284
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:14,578
♪ we need to be united ♪
285
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,947
♪ please help me from being ♪
286
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:23,788
♪ bobbi glass's
Defenseless sexual plaything ♪
287
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,390
♪ count us in ♪
288
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,591
♪ but we can't be
Very long ♪
289
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:33,031
♪ we have to go
Grocery shopping ♪
290
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,336
♪ an eye for an eyeball ♪
291
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:44,142
♪ a prank for a skank
Named miss glass ♪
292
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:47,645
♪ an eye for an eyeball ♪
293
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:50,714
♪ a scheme for the bitter ♪
294
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:55,052
♪ e coli would knock her
On her ass ♪
295
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,657
Miss glass!
296
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,828
We have a present for you.
297
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,478
What do you kids
Take me for? A sucker?
298
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,884
You think you're being
Clever here, don't you?
299
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,352
Original.
300
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,054
Think again.
301
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:33,791
Every year one of my classes
Presents me with a gag shake.
302
00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:35,759
Last year, third period
303
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,662
Gifted me with my fave
Banana smoothie
304
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,199
Literally crawling
With the ebola virus.
305
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:44,002
But I'm too smart for that!
I knew you were coming.
306
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:46,537
That's why I took
The liberty of changing,
In advance, your grades...
307
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,573
To solid f's!
308
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,341
Huh?
What?
309
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,211
If you flunk us, we'll have
To repeat sophomore year.
310
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:56,514
Yes, and you'll have me
For nine solid months of hell!
311
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,282
Cyanide. Anybody want any?
312
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,850
Get one thing straight.
313
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:02,353
Nothing can stop or kill me.
314
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,888
After a nuclear apocalypse,
I'll be the only thing left
315
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,124
Other than
The cockroaches and cher.
316
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,631
[thinking] ah, what can I write
317
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,600
to make brooke fall hopelessly in love with me again?
318
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,538
Ah. "Dear brooke..."
319
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:33,251
"Dear brooke..."
320
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,155
Move, move, move!
321
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,594
All right, I need
Ten cc's of epi!
322
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,263
Stat!
323
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:47,565
Clear.
324
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,500
Oh, my god!
She's not breathing!
325
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,270
What are you doing,
You psycho?
326
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,904
Giving her an emergency
Tracheotomy.
327
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:54,938
Duh!
328
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,540
There are no signs
Of life here,
329
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,409
So somebody needs to
Give her mouth-to-mouth.
330
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,978
Let's draw straws.
Okay, here.
331
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,282
Oh, man!
332
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,750
Do it!
333
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:07,851
[all] Eww!
334
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,089
Eww! You guys,
335
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,325
I think she's dead.
I...
336
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,827
How can that be?
She didn't drink the shake.
337
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:20,898
And even if she did,
It would've caused
The runs, not death!
338
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:23,634
Calm down.
This is fixable.
I know what to do.
339
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,836
We frame spam and
Have her arrested for murder!
340
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,305
Why do I have
To take the fall?
341
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,307
Do you guys realize
What this means?
342
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,241
The wedding tomorrow's
Gonna be ruined.
343
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,977
We could have figured sam
Would've done something
To screw it up.
344
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,813
Anybody have
Any pickles?
345
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,615
Oh, my god, you guys.
Look at this.
346
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:40,217
"Those who can't do, teach.
Those who can't do, teach.
347
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:41,485
Those who can't do, teach."
348
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,588
Maybe miss glass had
A stroke or something.
349
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,423
Obviously she was under
A lot of stress.
350
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:48,426
Teachers are so underpaid
And underappreciated
In our culture.
351
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,661
God, this must be
Her journal.
352
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,030
All of her secret dreams
And haiku hopes locked away
353
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,097
Like her potential.
354
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,766
I suddenly feel
Horrible about this.
355
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,100
You should!
356
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,275
You killed my sister.
357
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,509
Nurse jessi,
358
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,110
Sam did it.
359
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:08,979
I did not!
I think you did.
360
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,181
All of you.
361
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,950
[sniffs]
362
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,718
Is this e coli I smell?
363
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,454
[all] Mm-mmm.
364
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,722
Okay, yes,
But she didn't drink it.
365
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,759
Listen, kids, I can
Understand why you'd do this.
366
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,362
She's always been a bitch.
367
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:27,465
I won't expose you if
We all take a vow of silence.
368
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:28,899
But we didn't do anything.
369
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:33,203
Yes, you did!
Let's just keep
This little tragedy quiet.
370
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:36,206
Otherwise, this little wedding
I've been hearing so much about,
371
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,544
Yet haven't been invited to,
Won't be happening.
372
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,245
Because you'll all be
Otherwise engaged. In jail!
373
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,816
"Dear brooke..."
374
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,618
God.
375
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,624
Wait.
376
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,660
"Dear brooke,
377
00:19:56,729 --> 00:20:00,130
"I guess it was plotting
The death...
378
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,166
"Of miss glass
379
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:07,004
That made me feel
So close to you again."
380
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:13,511
If we go to jail,
This wedding will be canceled,
And that can't happen.
381
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,613
We did nothing,
And I am not taking the fall.
382
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,549
We did do something.
We were responsible
For her stress
383
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,184
And her resulting stroke.
384
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,752
Damn you all to hell!
385
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,622
Just stick with the plan.
Frame spam!
No!
386
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:27,124
- I have to be at the wedding!
- shut up, everybody!
387
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:30,928
Sweet mother of god!
Shut up!
388
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,601
Look, I am freaked
By bobbi glass
389
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,936
And her inappropriate
Carnal lust for me.
390
00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:41,605
But I feel weird about
Her just being carted away.
391
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,575
Shouldn't we at least call
The hospital or the police?
392
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,444
We can't call the police,
You moron.
393
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:49,413
The l.A.P.D. Already has
Miss glass's insane I.D.
Composite sheet.
394
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:50,914
We already look suspicious.
395
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,684
Did anybody but me find it odd
That nurse jessi accused us
396
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,853
And then almost
Immediately said,
397
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,121
"Watch the body while I pull
The pinto around"?
398
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,658
Yeah. What's up with that?
399
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:05,463
F.Y.I., kids, I wouldn't call
The police or a hospital
If I were you.
400
00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:07,297
Authorities ask
A lot of questions,
401
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:12,269
And I'm afraid that e coli shake
Is very damaging evidence
Against you.
402
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:15,739
Have a great summer!
403
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,682
Okay.
404
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,517
It's done.
405
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:29,787
Let's just have
The rehearsal dinner and...
406
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:33,023
And tomorrow
We'll have the wedding,
And everybody will be calm
407
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,426
And quiet about
What happened, right?
408
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:48,739
Alone, in
A cold teacher sea.
409
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,742
Students, my life rafts.
No space for me.
410
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,176
Sad.
411
00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:01,184
"'what my sister thinks of me.'
412
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:03,587
Another haiku
By miss bobbi glass."
413
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,989
Ground glass
In my cereal.
414
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,991
She wants me dead.
415
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,594
Jealousy,
Green like snot.
416
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:15,800
Why do I have to share a bed
With one who despises me?
417
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,267
Sad.
418
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:26,844
I think nurse jessi
Killed her.
419
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:31,148
I think she let us off
Scot-free only to frame us
For murder later.
420
00:22:31,216 --> 00:22:35,152
We need to recover the body
And order an autopsy before
The evidence is destroyed,
421
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:37,821
Or we are gonna spend
Our summer vacation in juvie!
422
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,056
This is sick!
423
00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:41,559
Oh, my god.
424
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:44,995
What do you think nurse jessi's
Doing with the body?
425
00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:48,699
In case you're wondering,
This is cat nip.
426
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:51,168
Oh, sis of mine,
I've got plans for you.
427
00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:53,103
Big plans.
428
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:56,173
I know you can hear me, zombie.
429
00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:58,776
I can hear you. why can't I speak?
430
00:22:58,844 --> 00:23:01,145
You can't speak
Because I've dosed you.
431
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:06,517
Dosed you with exotic herbs from
New guinea to slow your body's
Metabolic rate down.
432
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,085
To the world, you're dead.
433
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:10,253
But I know you're alive.
434
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:12,089
You can feel everything,
Can't you?
435
00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:16,126
yes, particularly this pen jutting out of my throat.
436
00:23:16,195 --> 00:23:18,128
I've loathed you since birth.
437
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:20,598
I want a new beginning!
438
00:23:20,666 --> 00:23:22,633
And when I frame
Those kids for murder,
439
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:24,301
I'll get it!
440
00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:26,303
The best things
About killing you?
441
00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:29,106
Sleeping in our twin bed alone
442
00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:33,010
And giving my beloved pussies
The best damn meal
Of their nine lives.
443
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,211
Ooh!
444
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,379
what? I'm gonna be eaten alive?
445
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,549
That's right. You heard me.
I've starved those cats
For two weeks.
446
00:23:39,619 --> 00:23:42,886
When I return from
Running on the treadmill
At my linda evans gym,
447
00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:47,224
I better find
Nothing here but bones.
448
00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:48,959
booger face! Rot in hell!
449
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,696
Wow!
450
00:23:57,402 --> 00:23:58,969
[meowing]
451
00:23:59,038 --> 00:24:00,971
this isn't so bad.
452
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,541
oh, watch the fingers, puss-puss.
453
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:07,812
[crunching]
Oh!
454
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,112
no!
455
00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:24,762
You know, it's funny.
456
00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:27,631
I feel like something
Happened when you were away.
457
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,767
Like you met or talked
To someone who had
A big effect on you.
458
00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:33,370
You were so opposed
To this merging of families
All year long,
459
00:24:33,438 --> 00:24:35,839
And now suddenly
You're so into it.
460
00:24:35,908 --> 00:24:38,441
Nope. I didn't meet anybody.
461
00:24:38,510 --> 00:24:40,944
Guess I'm just
Growing up, that's all.
462
00:24:41,013 --> 00:24:43,413
[gasping]
463
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:47,217
Brooke, thanks for letting me
Come to your rehearsal dinner.
464
00:24:47,286 --> 00:24:51,622
I hope I am not in your way
As you prepare for the feast.
465
00:24:51,691 --> 00:24:53,491
May, I'm a little confused here.
466
00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:56,660
My make-dreams-come-true wish
Is very clear and simple.
467
00:24:56,729 --> 00:25:00,163
As an unfortunate child,
I'm allowed one dream request.
468
00:25:00,232 --> 00:25:04,167
And your dream-come-true
Request was to spend it with me
469
00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:07,204
And be involved in our family's
Wedding festivities?
470
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:08,238
Yes.
471
00:25:08,307 --> 00:25:10,473
Before my time is up,
I just...
472
00:25:10,543 --> 00:25:13,711
I just want to know
What it's like to be popular.
473
00:25:13,779 --> 00:25:16,446
Brooke!
474
00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:20,417
Mary cherry,
Put her finger in the fridge.
475
00:25:20,485 --> 00:25:22,385
Bring me a diet coke.
No!
476
00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,054
What are you doing here?
477
00:25:24,123 --> 00:25:26,724
Nurse jessi killed her.
She's gonna pin
The dirty deed on us.
478
00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:30,027
Take her out of here.
She's gonna ruin
The rehearsal dinner,
479
00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:32,029
And I'm gonna be blamed
For everything!
480
00:25:32,097 --> 00:25:33,197
Mm-hmm.
481
00:25:33,265 --> 00:25:36,366
[rumbling]
482
00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:40,037
It sounds like a freight train.
483
00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:46,576
That's the sound
That happens right before...
484
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,513
Oh, my god, y'all!
We're gonna die!
485
00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:53,550
Earthquake!
486
00:26:11,436 --> 00:26:13,436
[mike]
Is everybody all right?
487
00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:19,509
My god, may.
You're bleeding profusely.
488
00:26:19,579 --> 00:26:22,145
Call an ambulance. We should
Get may to the hospital.
489
00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:24,748
No! I want to stay here
With brooke.
490
00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:29,319
I want to see what it feels like
To be popular. Back off!
491
00:26:29,388 --> 00:26:32,589
Why is your teacher here?
I thought you hated her.
492
00:26:32,657 --> 00:26:34,757
We do.
493
00:26:34,827 --> 00:26:39,096
But I'm trying to be
More positive, and I
Wanted to include her.
494
00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:41,031
Why is she in
A hannibal lecter gurney?
495
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:42,532
She's very tired.
496
00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:45,802
You know, I'd like
To make a toast.
497
00:26:47,673 --> 00:26:52,509
I'd like to thank brooke
And sam for throwing
This rehearsal dinner.
498
00:26:52,578 --> 00:26:56,046
Making a family is never easy.
499
00:26:56,115 --> 00:27:00,117
In fact, it's pretty hard.
But thanks to
Their efforts tonight,
500
00:27:00,185 --> 00:27:02,852
Both as a team
And as individuals,
501
00:27:02,922 --> 00:27:04,822
A family is what
We have become.
502
00:27:04,890 --> 00:27:06,156
All of us.
503
00:27:07,392 --> 00:27:08,892
A toast...
504
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:12,062
To brooke... And to sam
505
00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:14,097
And to my beautiful
Wife-to-be.
506
00:27:16,268 --> 00:27:19,002
[glasses shatter]
507
00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:23,106
Dig in, everybody.
The gas is out, and we
Cannot reheat this food.
508
00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:26,343
Aren't you hungry, miss glass?
509
00:27:26,411 --> 00:27:28,345
[passes gas]
510
00:27:28,413 --> 00:27:32,049
Um, miss glass,
Is there a problem?
511
00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:34,818
dear god, help me. I shouldn't have had that burrito.
512
00:27:34,887 --> 00:27:37,154
Yes, there is a problem.
513
00:27:37,223 --> 00:27:40,223
As you can hear from
My sister's gastric rumbling,
514
00:27:40,292 --> 00:27:43,026
She has a terrible
Digestive disorder.
515
00:27:43,095 --> 00:27:46,396
I'm here to take her
To the hospital for tests.
516
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,201
Have a nice wedding.
517
00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:54,738
Enjoy the fresh air and
Sunshine while you can, kids.
518
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:02,245
What a strange thing to say.
519
00:28:02,314 --> 00:28:05,082
It almost sounds like she's
Threatening you with prison.
520
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,554
[knocking]
521
00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:23,934
Okay, you guys,
Think fast.
522
00:28:24,003 --> 00:28:27,071
Nurse jessi killed bio glass,
But if we say anything, she's
Gonna frame us for murder!
523
00:28:27,139 --> 00:28:29,940
Why didn't she just
Frame us immediately?
524
00:28:30,009 --> 00:28:31,774
Maybe she wanted to
Torture bobbi glass first?
525
00:28:31,844 --> 00:28:34,577
You can't torture
A dead body.
526
00:28:34,646 --> 00:28:37,247
Wait. Can a dead body
Pass gas?
527
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,049
Joe's right.
528
00:28:39,118 --> 00:28:42,385
Oh, my god. I just
Remembered something.
529
00:28:42,454 --> 00:28:45,055
The pieces of the puzzle
Are coming together.
530
00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:47,791
I don't think
Miss glass is dead.
531
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:50,094
I think nurse jessi...
532
00:28:50,162 --> 00:28:53,030
She put some kind of
Voodoo curse on her.
533
00:28:53,098 --> 00:28:54,764
You know, santeria.
534
00:28:54,834 --> 00:28:56,800
That's nuts.
What makes you think that?
535
00:28:56,869 --> 00:28:58,501
Unless it was my imagination,
536
00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:01,004
I saw somebody when we were
At the house moving the body
537
00:29:01,073 --> 00:29:03,440
Who looked shockingly
Suspicious.
538
00:29:14,786 --> 00:29:16,186
If that's true,
539
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:19,456
If santeria was invoked,
We have to get the body back
540
00:29:19,524 --> 00:29:21,624
Before nurse jessi
Really kills her.
541
00:29:21,693 --> 00:29:24,761
Brooke, can I have more time
With your yearbook?
542
00:29:24,830 --> 00:29:26,663
Okay, joshie.
543
00:29:29,134 --> 00:29:31,101
[cats meowing]
544
00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:32,870
[beeping]
545
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:35,138
The body's not here.
546
00:29:35,207 --> 00:29:37,440
Maybe the witch doctor
Knows where she took her.
547
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:39,609
How do you know
Miss glass's phone number?
548
00:29:39,678 --> 00:29:41,644
We crank-call her
Every night, wannabe.
549
00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:43,613
[phone ringing]
550
00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:49,519
This is fruitless.
551
00:29:49,588 --> 00:29:50,687
Let's just face it.
552
00:29:50,755 --> 00:29:52,755
The wedding is off,
And we're going to jail.
553
00:29:52,824 --> 00:29:54,291
Wait, wait!
554
00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:56,393
hi. You've reached the glass sisters' residence.
555
00:29:56,461 --> 00:29:58,795
remember your flu shot and make sure you eat five helpings of fruits and veggies
556
00:29:58,863 --> 00:30:00,964
every day to avoid colon rectal cancer.
557
00:30:01,033 --> 00:30:02,532
bobbi no longer lives here.
558
00:30:02,601 --> 00:30:04,568
I'm at the los feliz crematorium
559
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,069
at vermont and franklin.
560
00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,337
leave a message.
561
00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:09,106
[beeps]
562
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,646
[harrison] It's over.
[sugar]
She's only ashes now.
563
00:30:16,715 --> 00:30:18,582
Yes, but she's never
Been thinner.
564
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,151
[lily] Garbage collectors
Make more than teachers.
565
00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:22,586
Did you guys know that?
566
00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:24,588
This wedding
Is ruined.
567
00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:28,158
Maybe not.
It's nine people's word
Against one.
568
00:30:28,227 --> 00:30:32,029
Maybe this will blow over
And we won't have to spend
Junior year in juvie,
569
00:30:32,097 --> 00:30:34,998
If nobody confesses
To the madness we've seen.
570
00:30:35,067 --> 00:30:38,568
Rest in peace,
Miss bobbi glass.
571
00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:47,477
[man's voice] beautiful flowers.
572
00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:49,512
beautiful girls.
573
00:30:49,581 --> 00:30:52,449
putting on shoes.
574
00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:56,586
zipping up zippers.
575
00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:58,921
touching up lips.
576
00:30:58,990 --> 00:31:02,626
all for a wedding where someone will die.
577
00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:05,828
starting over only to perish.
578
00:31:05,897 --> 00:31:07,998
You guys,
We look hot.
579
00:31:08,067 --> 00:31:11,033
Maybe our prayers
Will be answered and
This wedding will go smoothly.
580
00:31:11,102 --> 00:31:12,969
Nurse jessi hasn't
Filed charges yet.
581
00:31:13,037 --> 00:31:15,838
Maybe she just wanted
Her sister dead so
She could start over.
582
00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:18,175
I can't believe this thing
Might go off without a hitch.
583
00:31:18,243 --> 00:31:20,910
The only hitch being so far
That mary cherry's an hour late.
584
00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:22,412
Hey, hons!
585
00:31:29,821 --> 00:31:33,056
Here comes the bride!
586
00:31:36,662 --> 00:31:38,461
So, what do we do again?
587
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:39,762
It's very simple.
588
00:31:39,831 --> 00:31:43,300
All you do is ask
Bride or groom's side,
589
00:31:43,368 --> 00:31:45,269
And then seat
The guests accordingly.
590
00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:47,204
Didn't you used to work
At mr. Cluck's
591
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:49,406
And try and sell us into
The white slavery trade?
592
00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:53,176
I worked at many sinful jobs
Before I found god
593
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:54,444
And went to the seminary.
594
00:31:55,547 --> 00:31:57,414
Don't screw up this wedding!
595
00:31:57,483 --> 00:31:59,883
It's my first.
I need it to go right.
596
00:31:59,952 --> 00:32:02,085
I'm aiming for sainthood.
Got it?
597
00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:14,264
Um, bride or groom's side?
598
00:32:15,367 --> 00:32:16,934
Brooke's side.
599
00:32:17,002 --> 00:32:19,036
I want to be near brooke.
600
00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:21,271
That's the make-a-dream-
Come-true deal!
601
00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:23,373
[gasps]
602
00:32:28,847 --> 00:32:30,447
[throat clears]
603
00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:31,681
Uh, bride or...
604
00:32:32,851 --> 00:32:35,452
Where's my sister?
605
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:47,564
We told you, we don't
Have your sister's body.
606
00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:49,799
It was burned
At the crematorium.
607
00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:51,234
That's a lie!
608
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,971
I dropped her off and went
To retrieve her ashes later.
609
00:32:54,039 --> 00:32:56,706
And they said she'd been
Shipped elsewhere.
610
00:32:56,775 --> 00:32:59,943
Look, lizzie borden,
We know you're behind this.
We didn't take her.
611
00:33:00,012 --> 00:33:01,311
Then who did?
612
00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:02,545
[beeping]
613
00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:05,182
Ah! Good news.
614
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:06,783
The hospital called.
615
00:33:06,851 --> 00:33:09,719
They just got
A donor heart.
616
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:13,356
My sister was
An organ donor.
617
00:33:13,425 --> 00:33:18,195
She kept an organ donor card
On her at all times.
618
00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:26,303
Wait. Where's carmen?
619
00:33:26,371 --> 00:33:28,271
We don't have time to look.
620
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:31,308
They're probably cutting into
Bobbi glass this minute.
Come on!
621
00:33:34,379 --> 00:33:36,379
You may begin, my child.
622
00:33:36,448 --> 00:33:38,915
Forgive me, father,
For I have sinned.
623
00:33:38,983 --> 00:33:41,184
[clears throat]
624
00:33:41,253 --> 00:33:43,520
My last confession was in '86.
625
00:33:43,588 --> 00:33:44,854
And these are my sins.
626
00:33:44,923 --> 00:33:47,790
Actually, only one
In particular.
627
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,359
Yes, my child. What is it?
628
00:33:49,428 --> 00:33:51,395
I can't keep this
A secret any longer.
629
00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:53,663
I have a confession to make.
630
00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:55,065
I...
631
00:33:56,668 --> 00:33:58,602
I...
632
00:34:09,281 --> 00:34:10,913
How do I look?
633
00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:12,249
Come here. Let me see.
634
00:34:12,317 --> 00:34:14,251
Honey, you look
Like a billion.
635
00:34:15,754 --> 00:34:17,219
Can you believe
We're doing this again?
636
00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:19,522
Oh, second time's a charm.
637
00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:21,191
Second? Try tenth.
638
00:34:21,260 --> 00:34:24,627
I can't believe I'm marrying
The hollywood legend,
Erik estrada,
639
00:34:24,696 --> 00:34:26,796
At the ripe old age of 25.
640
00:34:26,865 --> 00:34:28,931
Dreams do come true. Well,
641
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,468
Let's review the stupid but
Necessary bridal traditions.
642
00:34:31,536 --> 00:34:33,370
Something old, something new.
643
00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:35,072
Something borrowed,
Something blue.
644
00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:37,207
Damn, I forgot
Something borrowed.
645
00:34:37,276 --> 00:34:39,276
Hey, could you lend me
Your diaphragm?
646
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,445
Man, I haven't felt
This jittery
647
00:34:42,514 --> 00:34:45,048
Since I was on the people's choice awards in '77.
648
00:34:45,117 --> 00:34:46,483
Are you nervous?
649
00:34:46,551 --> 00:34:48,385
Me? Honestly, yeah.
The feet are a bit cold.
650
00:34:48,453 --> 00:34:49,719
Yeah, me, too.
651
00:34:49,788 --> 00:34:52,221
I feel like there's an arm
Reaching into my guts
652
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:55,325
Pulling out my
Internal organs, one by one.
653
00:34:55,394 --> 00:34:58,928
aah!
Okay, here's the liver.
654
00:34:58,997 --> 00:35:01,063
Good thing she's dead.
655
00:35:01,133 --> 00:35:03,600
This is gonna hurt
Like a mother.
656
00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:05,935
oh! Oh!
657
00:35:06,004 --> 00:35:07,637
oh!
658
00:35:07,706 --> 00:35:11,274
ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
659
00:35:11,343 --> 00:35:14,043
Kidneys.
660
00:35:14,113 --> 00:35:16,113
ow, ow, ow!
661
00:35:16,181 --> 00:35:18,448
My god.
662
00:35:18,517 --> 00:35:20,417
This is a medical first.
663
00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:23,085
This person
Doesn't have a heart.
664
00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:24,687
what?
665
00:35:24,756 --> 00:35:28,190
May, have you
Seen bio glass?
666
00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:33,463
Since they cut her open
And sent her away?
667
00:35:33,532 --> 00:35:35,599
No.
668
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:37,267
Where is the doctor?
669
00:35:37,336 --> 00:35:39,602
Calling ripley's believe it or not. why?
670
00:35:39,671 --> 00:35:41,705
Great.
Where's miss glass?
671
00:35:41,773 --> 00:35:43,506
She's been taken care of.
672
00:35:43,575 --> 00:35:45,508
Or should I say, disposed of?
673
00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:51,614
In less than an hour,
My sister will fulfill
A childhood dream of mine
674
00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:54,651
And be buried... Alive!
675
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:59,155
And then it's real quick
Off to six flags for
A little r and r, and then...
676
00:35:59,223 --> 00:36:00,723
On with my life.
677
00:36:00,792 --> 00:36:02,492
What's gonna happen
To us now?
678
00:36:02,561 --> 00:36:04,361
Well, you'll be
Framed for murder
679
00:36:04,429 --> 00:36:06,296
And then spend
Your junior year in juvie.
680
00:36:06,365 --> 00:36:08,998
You won't get away
With this, nurse jessi.
You don't have the proof.
681
00:36:09,067 --> 00:36:11,133
Oh, I think I do, stud.
682
00:36:11,202 --> 00:36:15,171
Some of us should be
A little more careful when
Signing our practice yearbooks.
683
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,908
"Dear brooke, I guess it was
Plotting the death of miss glass
684
00:36:18,977 --> 00:36:21,544
That made me feel
So close to you again."
685
00:36:21,613 --> 00:36:24,080
How could you write that?
It's not romantic.
686
00:36:24,149 --> 00:36:26,550
It was my practice
Book, brooke.
687
00:36:26,618 --> 00:36:28,385
This isn't over.
We're gonna find that body.
688
00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:31,421
We're gonna get the evidence
We need and make a scene.
689
00:36:31,490 --> 00:36:33,189
Oh, I think not, sparky.
690
00:36:33,257 --> 00:36:36,092
I've sent that body to a place
691
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,728
That you wouldn't dare disrupt.
692
00:36:38,797 --> 00:36:42,098
♪♪ ["Wedding march"]
693
00:36:52,578 --> 00:36:54,076
♪♪ [somber]
694
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:56,412
kill me.
695
00:36:56,481 --> 00:36:59,816
somebody, please just kill me.
696
00:37:04,289 --> 00:37:06,556
[popping]
697
00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:09,892
Okay, look, we've been sitting
In silence for an hour.
698
00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:12,028
This is a church,
Not a yoga center.
699
00:37:12,096 --> 00:37:14,130
I know the lord probably
Never used this phrase,
700
00:37:14,198 --> 00:37:15,765
But your time is up, my child.
701
00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:18,635
Wait. But I sinned. Badly.
702
00:37:18,703 --> 00:37:21,671
Okay. Tell me
Where the body is,
703
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:25,207
I'll give you three hail marys,
And you'll be on your way.
704
00:37:25,276 --> 00:37:27,877
What makes you think
I killed someone?
705
00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:31,915
You're a bored suburban
Teenager. They listen
To metallica. You do the math.
706
00:37:31,983 --> 00:37:34,617
Look,
707
00:37:34,686 --> 00:37:36,886
My sin...
708
00:37:36,955 --> 00:37:39,856
Is of a more personal nature.
709
00:37:41,225 --> 00:37:44,394
I'm sorry.
710
00:37:44,463 --> 00:37:47,230
God, what am I gonna
Tell my parents, you know?
711
00:37:47,299 --> 00:37:48,631
What are you ashamed of?
712
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,504
I'm pregnant.
713
00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:55,738
God!
714
00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:59,075
Would understand.
715
00:37:59,143 --> 00:38:01,010
We all mess up.
716
00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:02,612
Are you sure?
717
00:38:02,681 --> 00:38:07,383
I have been throwing up
For two weeks.
718
00:38:07,452 --> 00:38:10,186
I think I'm pregnant,
And I don't know what to do.
719
00:38:10,255 --> 00:38:12,622
Who's the father?
720
00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,724
♪♪ [organ]
Oh, sorry. Scheduling conflict.
721
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:16,626
Gotta boogie.
722
00:38:20,399 --> 00:38:22,265
Hey.
Hey.
723
00:38:22,334 --> 00:38:24,166
Okay, so I finished.
724
00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:25,735
It took me awhile,
725
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:29,606
But it sums up what
We've been through this year
And our future.
726
00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:33,810
"Dear brooke,
727
00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:35,879
"See you next fall.
728
00:38:35,947 --> 00:38:37,346
Love, josh."
729
00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:42,151
Let's get back
Together, brooke.
730
00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:46,122
Even if it means being
Pen pals after we're
Sent to prison for murder.
731
00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:50,460
I'd love that.
732
00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:57,100
I am so nervous.
733
00:38:57,168 --> 00:39:00,637
Hey, you look amazing.
734
00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:02,939
Okay?
You're gonna be fine.
735
00:39:05,476 --> 00:39:07,143
I love you, honey.
736
00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:09,445
I love you, too, mom.
737
00:39:12,984 --> 00:39:18,054
I didn't want to sleep
With her, but I didn't want
Her to be killed off, either.
738
00:39:18,123 --> 00:39:23,059
At least I have this
Inscription in my yearbook
To remember her by.
739
00:39:23,127 --> 00:39:25,862
Buck up, geek.
I wrote that.
740
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:29,999
Oh, man.
741
00:39:30,068 --> 00:39:31,834
Okay, we've got
A problem.
742
00:39:31,903 --> 00:39:34,403
Bobbi glass's casket
Is parked out front.
What?
743
00:39:34,473 --> 00:39:38,608
If I go to jail, my dreams
Of being a supermodel
Will be dashed!
744
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:40,609
Dashed all to hell!
745
00:39:40,679 --> 00:39:44,847
There is a solution.
An anti-santeria solution
To be exact.
746
00:39:44,916 --> 00:39:47,116
Of course.
747
00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:51,187
I knew that spring break trip
To mardi gras last year
Would pay off.
748
00:39:51,255 --> 00:39:53,756
But how are we gonna get this
In bobbi glass's body?
749
00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:57,560
I don't know, but we've got
One minute to figure it out,
750
00:39:57,629 --> 00:40:00,930
Or someone's going to die.
751
00:40:14,846 --> 00:40:22,151
♪ so will you marry me,
My dear ♪
752
00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:26,423
♪ let me chase away
Your pain and your fear ♪
753
00:40:26,491 --> 00:40:32,595
♪ say that you'll always
Be right here ♪
754
00:40:33,732 --> 00:40:35,331
This better work.
755
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,467
How long's it take
The antidote to kick in?
756
00:40:37,536 --> 00:40:38,835
I have no idea.
757
00:40:38,903 --> 00:40:41,904
♪ my dear ♪
758
00:40:41,973 --> 00:40:46,108
♪♪ [vocalizing]
759
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:53,650
♪ yeah ♪
760
00:40:53,718 --> 00:41:00,923
♪ no one could
Ever love you more ♪
761
00:41:00,992 --> 00:41:05,527
♪ than the way
That I do, you know ♪
762
00:41:05,596 --> 00:41:10,199
♪ I've told you
A thousand times ♪
763
00:41:10,268 --> 00:41:13,002
♪ before ♪
764
00:41:13,071 --> 00:41:16,105
♪ that I'll forever ♪
Wow.
765
00:41:16,174 --> 00:41:18,374
♪ be yours ♪
766
00:41:18,442 --> 00:41:24,013
♪ and all I've ever wanted ♪
767
00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:27,784
♪ was you in my life ♪
768
00:41:27,852 --> 00:41:30,487
♪ life ♪
769
00:41:30,555 --> 00:41:33,322
♪ oh, whoa ♪
770
00:41:33,391 --> 00:41:37,860
so pretty. So pretty like a fairy-tale princess.
771
00:41:41,032 --> 00:41:44,567
♪ let me chase away
Your pain and your fear ♪
772
00:41:44,636 --> 00:41:52,709
♪ say that you'll always
Be right here ♪
773
00:41:52,777 --> 00:41:54,076
♪ will you marry me ♪
774
00:41:54,145 --> 00:41:55,477
You may be seated.
775
00:41:57,616 --> 00:42:00,850
I now pronounce you
Husbands and wives.
776
00:42:00,919 --> 00:42:03,419
You may kiss your brides.
777
00:42:03,487 --> 00:42:06,088
[murmuring]
778
00:42:06,157 --> 00:42:09,358
I'm sorry. I'm new at this.
779
00:42:15,433 --> 00:42:17,499
Okay, does anybody here know
780
00:42:17,568 --> 00:42:20,670
Why these couples should not
Be united in holy matrimony?
781
00:42:20,739 --> 00:42:22,872
[woman] I do.
782
00:42:30,148 --> 00:42:32,381
I'm sorry.
Is there a problem?
783
00:42:33,685 --> 00:42:35,885
Actually, yes.
784
00:42:37,656 --> 00:42:40,789
Mike mcqueen and I
Are not divorced.
785
00:42:40,859 --> 00:42:43,559
Mom?
786
00:43:08,987 --> 00:43:10,753
[beeping]
787
00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:29,706
♪ to bend and not to break ♪
788
00:43:29,774 --> 00:43:33,442
♪ chin up, try not to quake ♪
789
00:43:33,511 --> 00:43:36,979
♪ I'm grinning on the outside ♪
790
00:43:37,048 --> 00:43:40,850
♪ but I'm a wreck internally ♪
791
00:43:43,021 --> 00:43:46,422
♪ ooh, la la la la ♪
792
00:43:50,394 --> 00:43:54,063
♪ ooh, la la la la ♪
793
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:57,600
♪ I'm the greatest star who ever lived ♪
66887
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