Original subtitles

Very impressive, brooke.

You have quite a touch With the carving knife.

Thank you, mr. Don.

Ah, sammie.

See, that bird ain't gonna fly.

No, sir. See, the grooves In the wings are too deep.

See how brooke worked With the grain, not against it?

See? Yup.

She's real good At that.

Thanks, mr. Don.

Harrison, boy, oh, boy.

Tell me, where'd you Learn to sand like this?

I don't know.

I guess I've just always Been interested in sawdust.

That's a gift.

Keep it up, buddy.

Thanks.

[clattering] [boy] Oh!

Uh-huh! You know, s.D., if you're Not using a power tool,

You don't have To wear goggles.

Have you seen My main man's slap shot?

Ooooh... Why don't you take it For a test-drive?

Ooooh! Come on.

[horn sounds] Oh!

Smooth move, mr. D!

All right, you guys. Take your seats.

I got a couple Of announcements.

First:

Please remember that

Design concepts for final Projects are due on friday.

[students groans]

On a more personal note,

As of tomorrow,

I'm going to be looking A little different

Than you kids are used to,

But please know that I'm still the same old teacher,

And you can count on me.

Along these lines,

From now on,

I would greatly appreciate it

If you all called me

Ms. Debbie,

Instead of mr. Don.

As of tomorrow,

I will be embarking on a one-way Journey toward womanhood.

It's taken me

A long time to get the courage,

But I can no longer Fight the truth.

I am a gender-crosser.

Say what?

I'm having a sex change.

Okay? Great.

Moving on To cross-grain sanding.

♪ think it over once or twice ♪

♪ what lasts the longest in this life ♪

♪ character or rock-hard thighs ♪

♪ in the end do you believe ♪

♪ that beauty lies in what you see ♪

♪ 'cause if you do, then, baby ♪

♪ you've been deceived ♪

♪ well, me and b ♪

♪ we hate supermodels ♪

♪ it's just that I'm tired of being compared ♪

[tv newscaster] the u.S. Government on wednesday

issued new export regulations

allowing u.S. Companies to ship computer software products

to commercial firms, individuals

and nongovernment users without a license.

Hey, did I tell you What happened

Yesterday at school With mr. Don?

You know, my shop teacher?

[sighs]

Mom...

Did you even get up and Go to bed last night?

Nope.

Fell asleep during An oprah rebroadcast

And woke up to katie couric.

Listen, it's been about a month Since you stopped working,

And all you do is lie around All day and watch game shows.

[tv audio stops]

You need to find a new job.

[tv audio resumes]

I'm tired, okay?

I got on the web Last night,

And I found Some cool stuff.

There's a bunch of Job listings here.

Some are even For pharmacists.

You know, I-I think that You'll feel a lot better

If you just Get back out there.

All right.

I'll make a few calls.

♪ ch-ch-ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ turn and face the strain ♪

♪ ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ don't wanna be a richer man ♪

♪ ch-ch-ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ turn and face the strain ♪

♪ ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ just gonna have to be a different man ♪

♪ time may change me ♪

♪ but I can't trace time ♪

♪ I said that time may change me ♪

♪ but I can't trace time ♪

This is so crying game. I can't believe it.

[carmen] I don't get it.

Why dress like a woman?

And why wear those shoes with That dress? They don't match.

[laughs]

Why so glum, My little anti-bicep?

[carmen] Oh. Duh, cindy lou who.

He just had his duck lamp Fondled by a she-male.

These is troublin' times.

Yeah. Dude looks like a lady. [laughing]

[clears throat]

I still think it's like Some joke. Like candid camera.

It's weird to have a class With her now.

I mean him. I mean... What do I mean? I don't know.

What I mean is that

I don't think I feel Comfortable in there anymore.

So switch classes, hon.

I say drop mr. Doubtfire's And avoid the nightmares.

Last night, I woke up In a terrifying sweat.

I envisioned myself Wearing a florida housewife

Muumuu.

That's wrong.

[laughing] [mary] My god, y'all!

What?

It's mama cherry.

Yeah, all mutual funds Are down, mary cherry.

Oh, no, y'all, This is no financial crisis.

It's an event More terrifying

Than kathie lee gifford Singing "Cabaret."

Mama cherry's Discrimination case

Has been denied By the u.S. Government.

She's wingin' Her way out west

For community service To pay her debt to society.

Which is?

Cherry cherry's substitute Teachin' our home ec class!

- ha-ha! - now I'll never get an "A"!

[cherry] Carmen ferrara. Here.

Nicole julian.

Here.

Adam rothchild ryan.

Here.

Damn!

I bet your real name's Alice, ain't it?

No, mrs. Cherry. Our school Has an open electives policy.

Girls can take shop class, Boys, home ec.

It's a modern idea.

Who's runnin' this place? A commie pinko?

- um, mama? - hmm?

Where's mrs. Herlihy? She's on bed rest.

Which you would be, too,

If you'd had Your uterus removed.

Which I'd have done 16 years ago if I'd known

The bad hand motherhood Was gonna deal me.

Any more questions?

Alice, shoot.

Mrs. Cherry,

What brings a fortune 500 ceo To teach at kennedy?

In a word, alice, injustice.

Sheer gender discrimination.

I know why The caged bird sings, kids.

Yes, I do.

It all started 12 years ago.

[siren wailing]

I'd just left my seventh husband

and was in a hurry to get on to my eighth.

suddenly, out of nowhere, my day is ruined

by a copper who looked shockingly like erik estrada.

if I'd had my 8-track of "I shot the sheriff,"

I'd have popped it in right then.

Ma'am,

Are you aware That you're speeding?

Nope. Get a little quicker With your questions, pokey.

I'm a lady on the go. [coughing]

Ma'am, why are you allowing Your daughter to smoke?

She's puttin' on weight. Why the hell else

You think I got a "Danger Wide load" bumper sticker?

All right, Out of the car.

from the get-go, he was rude.

didn't even offer to help me out of my car.

I'm gonna have to Give you a ticket.

I'm gonna have to Give you the finger.

Lady, I'm bookin' you. Spread 'em.

Only after a wedding proposal And a credit check.

The lesson I want to impart To all you girls

And alice is this:

Never give up Without a fight,

No matter how monolithic-like The institution.

Also, always wear A pricey new outfit to court Every day of your trial.

Now, next objective.

We're gonna learn Real women's work.

The corporate takeover.

In this class, every participant Will get one million dollars

Of class "A" preferred stock In cherry cherry corp.,

To be used exclusively For our collective hostile bid.

Who wants in?

Wow.

Nice change of pace, mom.

Did you do anything today?

Did you make even One call about a job?

[sobs]

Mom, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, I just...

Hey, come on.

Sheila left me.

What?

Why?

I don't know.

She said We'd grown apart.

What happened at work Was too painful.

[exhales]

I can't blame her.

I'm not very lovable These days.

Mom, I'm sorry.

It's so strange.

Just last month,

I thought everything Was so great.

I came out.

I had sheila.

Now my life's just a mess.

I should never have opened My big mouth at work.

None of this Would have happened.

Mom, this is who you are.

Who I am, honey, Has lost me everything.

Are you feeling so bad right now

Because I didn't Support you enough?

What I'm saying is We shouldn't be surprised

If your father suddenly calls And sues for custody.

Well, then we'll fight it.

Like you should fight The pharmacy chain

That only fired you 'cause you're gay.

It's a giant corporation, honey, With like a gazillion lawyers.

It's the right thing to do, mom.

Those people at the pharmacy Don't know you, the real you.

The world doesn't work that way.

You can be different. Fine.

Just don't talk about it.

Because if you do, There are consequences.

That's how The world works, harrison.

That's the way it works.

[phone rings] I'll get it.

Oh, um, jane,

I almost forgot.

Principal hall Gave me permission

To change my elective As long as you guys sign off.

You're switching Out of shop class?

I thought you liked shop.

Yeah, well, I changed my mind.

Around the time our teacher Decided he wanted to change

From a he to a she. [sam] So typical.

No tolerance for anyone Who deviates

From your airbrushed ideal Of perfection.

[jane] Ahem, uh, back up.

Uh, your shop teacher, mr. Don, Is becoming a woman?

Yes, and I think

That it's courageous what he...

What she is doing.

Really?

Why don't you put your money Where your mouth is?

Where's the pro-sex change Editorial?

We just got a call about A special p.T.A. Meeting On friday.

We have to vote on a motion To have a shop teacher removed.

The guy who won best teacher Last year. What's his name?

Debra.

Today we will learn How to use the scroll saw

To turn this ordinary Block of wood

Into a beautifully Contoured doorstop.

You think mr. Don Still gets any?

Don't make me go there.

Guys, she's gonna hear you.

"She"? Maybe you should join her On the dark side, harriet.

Jerks.

[laughing]

[bell rings]

Oh.

Thank you.

I just wanted to say That I'm sorry.

There are a lot of jerks in this Class, and you deserve better.

And, uh, I also said some stuff, And I shouldn't have.

I'm sorry about that.

That's okay.

You should, um... You should fight back.

I don't think the administration Would agree with you.

They can't just fire you. You're a great teacher.

I did the research, harrison, And they can.

So, you're just gonna take it?

Well, my wife And three boys support me,

And that's what really matters.

But thank you for your support And your idealism.

Hold on to that For as long as you can, son.

All right.

Save our teacher. Save our school.

Save our teacher. Save our school.

Save our teacher... What's goin' on?

I'm, uh, starting a sit-in.

To save ms. Debbie's job.

You know, this revamped Teacher's lounge is awesome.

It's kind of like nell's In the '80s.

It's the least I can do.

The salaries They keep you teachers on

Barely keep you in cat food.

Klaus, another mochachino For my friend.

[sniffs] What the hell is that?

Somebody smells like old lady.

It's avon musk, actually.

Pull up a chair.

Klaus, get ms. Debbie A cup of josephine.

Then run out and get her A case of lady stetson.

Don, just because I'm curious,

How long is this charade Gonna go on?

It's not a charade.

To get the operation, to pass The psychiatric evaluation,

I have to live as a woman In society for a year.

Don, what happened to you?

We went fishing together,

Lifted weights, Bowled in the same league.

I can still do all those things, Bobbi. I'm the same person.

You're not The same person.

You turned nancy on me,

And we don't think You should teach here

Until you figure out Who the hell you are.

Right, bennet?

Sorry, bobbi. I really don't Want to get political here.

You're the one who requested the Hearing on friday, aren't you?

Proud to say I'm a judas, yes.

I find your relationships With students

To be perverse And unhealthy.

You have no proof Of that, bobbi.

Yet.

Pass the bear claws.

Thanks for the josephine, Cherry cherry.

This is very nice.

So you're doing this For your mother?

Yeah. No. I don't know. It's complicated.

It's about her, But it's also about me.

All year long, All we've talked about

Is how we hate the popular crew

For making judgments Based purely on externals,

For judging us Because we're not like them.

And I realized that by doing Nothing about ms. Debbie

And making all the clever, Biting tranny remarks,

That I was everything I despised, you know?

You're right. [lily] Wow.

I made fun of ms. Debbie The way they make fun of me.

[carmen] Can you imagine being Ms. Debbie right now?

He must feel Persecuted and hunted.

- just like I feel with nicole. - right.

Oh, look, b, The wannabe's have opened A transsexual sign-up booth.

Harrison, You little rocky horror, Can I borrow your fishnets?

Why don't you ask brooke? It's the right thing to do.

You're about being Politically correct, right?

I have a right to be myself

And choose who I want To surround myself with.

Just because we have A difference of opinion

Doesn't mean that we can't be Civil to each other.

[scoffs]

I respect your point of view.

Hey, brooke.

Do you remember at the dance When you asked me if I'd be

Interested in you If you weren't pretty?

You wanted to know if I Valued what was inside you As much as your looks.

Harrison, What's your point?

My point is,

Every time ms. Debbie Looks at your empty chair,

She feels that exact Same judgment from you.

[sniffles]

- back on point, harrison. - you can count on us.

Absolutely.

Thanks, guys.

I say we turn this hallway Into a squatters' camp.

Yup, we can go to rightworth and Get poster boards and a hibachi.

That's the company That canned my mom, lil.

Oh.

Right.

If we organize And fight smart,

Then maybe We can prevent ms. Debbie

From feeling As bad as my mom.

Maybe nobody Has to feel bad.

I'll be back. I've got One more class to catch.

Okay.

I'm not a freak.

I'm not a freak.

[nicole] What's wrong With your mother?

She always gets this way If she has to miss the view.

[adam] Mrs. Cherry?

Are you okay?

There's just a lot of pain In the world, kids. That's all.

Listen up.

Now, as anybody can tell By my stunning outfit,

I got plenty of money.

But it takes more than Dead presidents

To pull off a takeover.

It takes brains.

Brains and the guts to find

The perfect company That's right for the kill.

Let's hear some pitches.

I propose We take over rightworth.

Hold up, mushroom cap. You can't waltz into my class Late and start blabbin'.

I oughta dock you $200,000.

Rightworth is A really good target.

Their stock's at a 52-week low. What's their achilles heel?

Terrible discrimination Practices. I know about One wrongful termination.

There may be more.

- can you prove it? - actually...

No.

Listen, tiny.

Listen, all of you. Never say no.

Especially if you got Cherry cherry behind you

Holding her bankbook And wearing

Steel-toed cow paddy kickers.

Let's take 'em out. Alice!

Execute a buy order For 200,000 shares of rightworth At market value. Asap!

Yes, ma'am.

[carmen] We have almost ten signatures.

300 more, And we're in business.

We'll present them at friday's Board meeting to show that

This school's students will not Tolerate discrimination.

I'm gonna photocopy more fliers And pick up marshmallows

So we can make s'mores.

Harrison.

Mom? Why are you here?

Principal hall called me Down to her office

To discuss your legal rights.

So now you've become A revolutionary all of a sudden?

I'm tired of people Being punished

Just for being themselves.

I'm not gonna stand for it.

I will not have you Screw up your education

Fighting for some Hopeless cause.

You don't know what You're getting into.

People really don't like

Having their prejudices exposed. That's too bad.

I'm not gonna stop telling the Truth until somebody hears me.

Well, principal hall Has heard you.

Good.

Didn't I see you Two weeks ago at the Melissa etheridge concert?

Miss glass, sir, This is my mother.

Great. Then I'll kill Two birds with one stone.

Harrison,

Be aware, sport.

If you continue to play u.S.A. For africa in these halls,

You're goin' down.

Wai--

[jane] Let me get this straight.

You're planning A sit-in at kennedy high

To help save ms. Debbie's job.

Well, I applaud The sentiment, sam,

But I don't think A strike is the way to go.

We need to do something To attract attention.

A shop teacher in chiffon Would take care of that.

You think this is a joke, Don't you?

I actually think It's very serious.

I don't think this is A transition that he...

She-- whatever--

Needs to be making In front of students.

You're gonna vote Against him, aren't you?

Let's just have dinner.

We'll discuss it later.

This is not college This man is teaching. It is high school.

These kids are dealing with Identity problems of their own.

[jane] Who are you Trying to protect?

Changes are happening around These kids all the time.

If a teacher wanted to get Divorced in the middle Of a semester

Or remarried, Should we fire them?

There was a time when a woman Couldn't walk in front of A classroom of kids pregnant.

What year do you wanna Go back to? 1871?

This person is clearly Under great emotional strain

And most likely very confused.

No, daddy, he's not.

You're the one Who's confused.

Sam, I wanna help Ms. Debbie save her job.

What can I do?

[blaring]

People. People. May I have your attention?

Now comes the hard part.

The administration's Gonna try and say

That we're "Creating a disturbance."

They're gonna try and force us To stop supporting our woman

And instead Start listening to the man.

[wind whistling]

I'd like to turn the floor over

To our chief information Officer, miss lily esposito,

Who can tell us What to expect today.

Let's show some love for lily!

Yeah! Go, lily!

[applause continues]

[feedback from bullhorn]

I've done a lot of research

On nonviolent demonstrations,

And I have to warn you,

They don't always end Nonviolently.

They could suspend us.

They could drive us Out of here by force.

These people are not above Using crowd control measures

Such as tear gas Or even the aqua ram.

Aqua ram? Is that the swim team?

It's like a fire hose, Only more bloody.

We don't know What they'll do.

We just know They'll do something.

Oh, my god.

♪♪ [guitar]

I'm so tired.

What's the official Nonviolent position on napping?

[lily] I don't get it.

Why would the administration Just ignore us?

[harrison] Hang in there, guys. We gotta keep the faith.

This could be it! Positions, everybody!

[rumbling]

You kids settin' up For a square dance?

Are you representing yourself Or the administration?

The administration Isn't looking for a clash.

Publicity is what you're after And, boo-hoo, jane fonda,

You're not gonna get any.

But if you're lookin' for A kick-ass square dance caller,

I could be persuaded.

♪ alaman left, alaman right ♪

♪ swing with the opposite lady Swing that lady round ♪

♪ then promenade ♪

Guys, bobbi glass is right. We need publicity.

[brooke] Hey, guys,

What about that windbag On channel 8?

What's his name? Oh, gary's corner.

He fights all wrongs. I know that guy.

I called him to cover My frog dissection protest.

I have his number.

Hi. Um, this is lily From kennedy high.

I need to speak to gary.

I can't believe this. She knows him.

What do you mean He's already at kennedy?

Welcome to gary's corner!

We fight the wrongs!

But today, we're Spotlighting a right!

With me is billionairess Cherry cherry

With her new innovative Curriculum in home economics.

Ms. Cherry is gonna teach Our kids how to invest

In the economy, which is good For us and good for america.

Give me that mike. You talk too much.

Hi. Welcome to another edition Of gary's corner,

Starring me, cherry cherry.

Moving on.

We have the ceo of rightworth As our guest today.

Give it up for mr. Harold bean.

It's my pleasure.

You can sweet-talk All you want, weasel, But viewers need to know

You're here today because My kids bought your company.

Like it or not, Your job's on the line.

We've got questions for you To see if we should keep you on.

Mr. Bean, I was always taught That a successful company Is a happy company.

How's the morale Among your employees?

Well, uh,

Employee relations are of the Utmost importance at rightworth.

That's why we give a 5% discount To all our employees.

Except on liquor.

[adam] That's nice.

But according to Employment records,

You also discriminate against Minorities and people of color.

What's going on here?

[cherry] Look. Another question.

And this one's from My sweet little girl.

Thank you, mama.

Mr. Bean-a-worth, How do you plead to the charge

That you wrongfully Exterminated a lesbian lady.

Oh, I'm sorry, mama. Terminated?

She's not smart or pretty, But she's loyal as A rottweiler.

We didn't wrongfully Terminate anyone.

Yes, you did, bobby bigot, And I just aired your dirty Discrimination laundry

To the whole world, Which you deserved.

You're fired.

Fake, stupid anchorpeople, Back to you.

Mr. Bennet, Have you seen the media?

We need them To save ms. Debbie.

I think they were in home ec.

You find ms. Debbie. I'll Stall the jive turkey media.

Mr. Bennet, We could also use you.

[harrison] We were thinking You could speak out with us.

If a faculty member who's also A minority joined us, then...

I'm gonna have to decline. This is tough stuff.

Yes, I like ms. Debbie.

Also, yes, I'm afraid to lose my job.

I-I'm out.

That was my own battle,

But I don't think The last shot's been fired.

I thought journalists, Role models,

Risked safety all the time To do what's right.

I'm not the story here.

The person you need on board Is ms. Debbie.

She's your star witness.

What you guys need To show the media

Is where does ms. Debbie stand?

[screams]

Relax, mary cherry. He's hideous, not dangerous.

[mary] Oh, I'm sorry, nic,

But seeing this lady with a wee Willy winky has traumatized me.

How will I sleep at night? [debbie] I-I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to startle you. I'll just wait outside.

Wait.

For the first time, My sense of style

Has to override My christian convictions.

I would be betrayin' My oath

As a glamazon If I let you walk out of here

Lookin' like Ten miles of bad road.

I'm just bad at this Froo-froo stuff.

Can I ask you girls a question?

How do you always look So beautiful and overly made-up

Like expensive call girls?

Well, ms. Debbie, stop. I'm blushin'.

And that shade of blush

Happens to be The perfect color

That would offset Your eyes, ms. Deb.

Ms. Debbie, sit...

And learn.

♪♪ [harp]

I call this successful makeover "Uncle miltie be gone."

Remember, only I look good In green eye shadow.

Bye, hon.

I gotcha now, donny boy.

Just wait till The p.T.A. Committee hears this.

seeing this lady with a wee willy winky has traumatized me.

how will I sleep at...

I knew you couldn't Resist this place.

Sitting down while you pee Is overrated, don. Know that.

Why do you hate me So much, bobbi?

I think you hate me Because all this hits

A little too close To home, doesn't it?

You could make The leap, too, bob.

Just be aware Of the consequences.

Like losing good friends.

Hey! Ms. Debbie, great news!

We've got a news crew Interested in your story. They just need five minutes.

Look, you guys, I appreciate everything,

But the last thing I need to do is put my family

Through a messy Public spectacle.

They're going through enough.

You won't talk to the media?

Definitely not.

But, ms. Debbie,

The reporters, The camera people,

They're already here.

They're right outside? Yeah.

No, I don't want this. Okay.

Uh...

We may have a problem.

Where the hell is he? She!

There she is!

[lily] Ms. Debbie!

[lily] Ms. Debbie!

- hi. Do you like my hat? - oh, you're one foxy tranny.

Thank you.

I can't believe you did this. This is really bad.

Would you like it if the media Was camped outside your house?

Hounding you? Making you feel like a prisoner?

I'm sorry. Okay?

We had no idea they would ambush Ms. Debbie's house like that.

Look, uh, you can stay here Until after the 11:00 news,

And they'll probably Pack it in after that.

That's not gonna happen, son.

My wife just said

Three news crews have shown up In the last half hour.

They're shining The lights in the place.

They're terrifying her.

She's a very shy, Sweet woman.

She doesn't deserve this.

I told her We'd keep this private,

Deal with it as a family.

My youngest son, mike,

Is a freshman in college Over at ucla.

He's in a frat. You know what they'll do to him?

If I fight this battle publicly,

Everybody loses.

Look, it's not over Until it's over.

There's still a chance the P.T.A. Meeting could go our way.

I'm not going to that.

- what? - I don't blame you, debbie.

Those people Just can't understand.

If neither one of you Want to fight, fine.

I'm out, too, okay?

I'm done with this. But I was just trying to help.

[door slams]

[jane] "Gendernaut"?

Makes ms. Debbie Sound like an alien. Totally.

[mike] Good morning.

[clears throat]

If I'm gonna be in the doghouse

For voting With my conscience, fine.

So be it.

[jane] Look, mike,

I know that, as a man, When you hear that another man,

In a skirt, no less, Is teaching your daughters, It's a little threatening.

It's more than threatening.

It-it-it's... Ugh!

Wrong?

Who are we to judge that?

We had this exact same Conversation with our parents

That we are now having With our daughters,

Only then, when we were The self-righteous ones

Who knew everything, What were the causes?

Feminism? Civil rights?

As I recall, You told me a story

About a certain thanksgiving Where you walked away

From your grandfather's house

Because he referred to A black person as the "N" word.

That is totally different From this situation, jane.

What this situation is about,

To me, seems as very clear And very simple.

I want my kids to judge people By what they stand for

And not what they stand in.

[scoffs] What?

This new dude sucks.

He nailed me with a "C"

'cause I didn't Specify the dimensions On my tissue dispenser.

- what? - shh!

What a chump. Ms. Debbie Would've never done that.

Ms. Debbie got her freak on, But at least she was cool.

Any more space On that petition, harrison?

We want Ms. Debbie back.

We wanna join the fight.

Muumuu nightmares Be damned, bro.

[harrison] Why?

Huh? Why now? [nicole] Well,

After our makeover, she really Isn't that bad-looking anymore.

You're a day late And a dollar short.

The revolution will not be Televised. It's not happening.

Ms. Debbie's on leave Until tonight's hearing,

Which she isn't showing up for.

So there will be no presence At the meeting to fight for.

It's over.

Joe, you hush your wet, Sexy, petulant-lipped mouth.

If there's one thing My mama taught me,

It's not over Till she says so.

What size foot you got, joe?

[horse whinnying]

[robin] Excuse me.

I got a call To come to school.

It's about my son's ongoing Political disturbances.

I can assure you, He's done with that.

My social secretary Made the call.

I wanted to talk about you. Have a seat.

I'm sorry. Who are you? I'm cherry cherry,

And there's been a mistake As big as my hair made here.

That would be... I pulled some top-secret

Personnel files from rightworth, And it says here

You were in an open relationship With another gal,

And that's how come You got the boot.

Obviously that's a big lie. Look at ya.

Ya ain't got a buzz cut, And you're wearing

A pastel sweater set From banana republic.

Sorry. I was lookin' for A lesbian. Have a nice day.

No, ms. Cherry, You have the right girl.

I am a lesbian.

It's not all that I am, But it's part of the package,

And I can't deny that.

Oh. Cuttin' to the chase then, You're hired.

Excuse me?

I'm ceo of the corporation now, And I'm trying to remedy

Our discrimination problem We got down there.

You mean that You want to rehire me?

Give me my old job back? All right,

Quit playin' hard to get.

I'll triple your old salary And throw in free tickets

To the women's music festival Of your choice.

That's my final offer.

Thank you.

Order.

Order, please!

We are here this evening

To discuss the fate of one of Our teachers, mr. Don jackson,

A.K.A. Ms. Debbie jackson.

We usually begin these Proceedings with an open forum.

Ms. Debbie jackson Cannot be here tonight.

I would like it if a board Member would speak in her favor.

All right, let's move To the con views.

Finally.

Wait. Somebody wants To say something, and...

I think they've done it Quite eloquently.

♪ ch-ch-ch-ch-changes turn and face the strain ♪

♪ ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ oh, look out, you rock 'n' rollers ♪

[laughter, applause] ♪ ch-ch-ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ turn and face the strain ♪

♪ ch-ch-changes ♪

♪ pretty soon now you're gonna get older ♪

- ♪ time may change me ♪ - ridiculous.

♪ but I can't trace time ♪

♪ I said that time may change me ♪

Is somebody wearing Lady stetson?

[whip cracking]

[miss glass] All right, enough.

These "Dragsters" are confused, And they have no vote.

The only person legitimately Concerned with ms. Debbie

Is don herself,

And in a show of cowardice,

Has declined to defend Her monstrous lifestyle.

Harrison john, I think what you Need is a nice, big detention.

Pick on someone your own size.

- [crowd gasps] - ms. Debbie, is that you?

Now more than ever, Principal hall.

[applause]

I wrote down a few thoughts, If that's okay.

Before hedwig and the angry inch Are through with their number,

I'd like to say a few words.

Miss glass, You are out of line, sir.

I just get worked up

When I think about The effect this individual

Has on the impressionable young Minds we work so hard to mold.

Now... [clears throat]

I'm no orator. I'm a biology teacher.

But I believe I speak For every right-thinking member

Of this committee when I say,

This nut-job's gotta go!

You don't speak for me, bobbi.

I believe a real woman Has the floor,

So please shut up!

First, I'm sorry for all the...

Excitement I've caused Over the last few days.

It was never My intention.

I'm not here to...

Ask for special treatment.

I'm not here to bore you

With the details of my journey.

I'm here to tell you that...

Regardless of what you decide,

I've never been happier In my own skin.

I'm not ashamed.

I don't regard Being a woman as shameful.

And I...

Definitely Don't think it should

Prevent me from being able To perform my job.

I know a lot of you Feel differently.

That's up to you.

But I will always remember

That I stood up for myself When I had the chance.

And I will never forget My students.

Thanks to their...

Love and their Incredibly creative...

Support, I feel as though

No matter what the outcome Of tonight's vote,

I've already won.

[principal hall] Thank you Very much, ms. Debbie jackson.

I see no further need For discussion.

Let's vote.

All those in favor

Of keeping ms. Jackson on As a teacher at kennedy high,

Please say aye.

Aye.

Aye.

Aye.

[applause] Yes!

And those opposed.

Nay! Nay!

Nay! Nay!

[lily] Don't listen to her!

You can't do this! This is ridiculous!

This is discrimination!

[gavel bangs]

[door opens]

My oldest son made this for me.

You know, You always reminded me of him.

Except you're more tolerant.

You said your family Supported your decision.

I lied.

He's getting married next month, And he asked me not to come.

[sighs]

Just keeps gettin' better, huh? I'm sorry.

I had no idea. You have nothing To feel sorry about.

You've been an amazing friend To me, harrison.

I'll never forget that.

Yeah.

Ms. Debbie?

When I get married,

I'll give you a call.

I'd love for you to be there.

I'd be honored.

[robin] Harrison?

I've been looking All over for you.

Here.

[chuckles]

Thanks, sailor.

I am really Proud of you, honey.

You were right To take a stand.

And I was wrong Not to stand with you.

That's okay.

You were in An unemployment funk.

[laughs]

Speaking of that, A funny thing just happened.

Hmm?

I got my old job back. Big promotion, too.

But the really funny thing About it is,

I would never have been So blessed and lucky

If I'd stayed Ashamed and hidden.

Strange how The world works, huh?

Sometimes you do win For being who you are.

And sometimes you lose.

He was such A nice person, mom.

She was just so nice.

♪ to bend and not to break ♪

♪ chin up, try not to quake ♪

♪ I'm grinning on the outside ♪

♪ but I'm a wreck internally ♪

♪ ooh, la la la la ♪

♪ ooh, la la la la ♪