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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:06,671
Look, I'm gonna be 16
In five days,
2
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:10,609
And, well, it's time to make
Some changes in my life.
3
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:14,813
Every year I have a party and
I invite the same two people,
4
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,148
Lily and sam.
5
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:18,483
And it's great.
We hang out alone.
6
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:21,520
But, um...
7
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:24,356
Well, I just think
It's time that I...
8
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,591
Expand my social circle
9
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,794
And... My horizons.
10
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,631
From now on,
I am identifying my goals,
11
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,633
And I am going after them.
12
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,936
I'm gonna get
On that cheerleading squad,
13
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,804
No matter what it takes.
14
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,274
And then I'll have...
15
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,309
Well, a real boyfriend.
16
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,644
Get married.
17
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:50,582
Have 2.5 kids
And a fully loaded minivan.
18
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:56,188
I'm getting rid
Of everything that has
Brought me down, big-time.
19
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,190
Starting with you.
20
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,428
You tempt me, and then...
21
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,397
I give in.
22
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,666
And then I hate myself.
23
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,202
Oh, god.
24
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,673
You're so seductive.
25
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,544
Okay.
26
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,181
One more quickie,
27
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,483
And then we're over.
28
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,618
Forever.
29
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,466
"Hope you can make it."
30
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,505
Oh, look,
Friday night at carmen's.
31
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:47,706
It...
32
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,443
Well, it was sweet
Of her to ask us.
33
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:52,978
Can you imagine the guest list?
34
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,246
It's like being invited
To the jerry lewis telethon.
35
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,815
"B.Y.O.B."
36
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,317
They can have booze?
37
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,819
That means bag. See?
Bring your own sleeping bag.
38
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,489
To put over your head in case
Anyone sees your social shame.
39
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:06,125
Aren't we a little old
For slumber parties anyway?
40
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,695
Gosh, the last time I had one,
I must've been ten or something.
41
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,268
Well, harrison, seems there's
A party friday you can crash.
42
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,102
It's a slumber party.
43
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,339
And this may come
As a surprise to you, sam,
44
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,807
But I am actually
Of a different gender.
45
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,909
Hey.
46
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,712
I'm just tired
Of being the friend.
47
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,448
You know?
Okay, yeah.
48
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,484
Um, 911? I have several
E! Fashion emergencies
To report
49
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,853
At the home
Of carmen ferrara.
50
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,022
It's a waste
Of a quarter!
51
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:40,158
Hi, carmen.
52
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,829
Carmen,
They're laughing at you.
What possessed you?
53
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,197
I don't know, carm.
This party has some
Serious carrie potential.
54
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,999
Aren't we enough?
Why invite them?
55
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,402
When we were little,
We invited everyone.
56
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:53,004
When we were little,
We used to eat play-doh.
57
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:55,173
Okay. Look,
Here's the deal.
58
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,075
I know that they're
Probably not gonna come.
59
00:02:57,143 --> 00:03:00,912
And I know they're
Probably making fun of me
For inviting them, but..
60
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,481
But what?
61
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,283
Well, what's worse?
62
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:08,052
Hiding away and just
Accepting the fact that
They think I'm a loser,
63
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,589
Or being strong
And fighting back?
64
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,692
Every time they
Laugh at me, it hurts.
65
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,461
But I just know that
If I keep at it, maybe...
66
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,597
One day they'll come around
67
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,533
And, I don't know, at least
Admire me for my guts.
68
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:25,337
Just think of it
Like... A sorority.
69
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:28,707
There's pledge week,
And if you make it
Through that first week,
70
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,742
Then you've
Paid your dues.
71
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,111
You've passed
The ultimate test.
72
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:36,515
So I just have to make it
Through my hell week.
73
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,783
Hell year.
Hell decade.
74
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,519
I'm not a quitter.
75
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,754
And I'm not gonna be
Someone who gives up
76
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,056
Just because they don't
Make it the first time.
77
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,726
That makes me as pathetic
As they think I am.
78
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,095
Excuse me.
79
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,931
This is her birthday party.
80
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:57,068
It shouldn't be about
Making her mom or brooke
And her friends happy.
81
00:03:57,137 --> 00:04:00,572
No offense, sammie,
But it shouldn't be about
Making you happy, either.
82
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:05,076
Carm's just tired
Of always being on
The outside looking in.
83
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,612
Believe me,
I know the feeling.
84
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,960
♪ think it over once or twice ♪
85
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,629
♪ what lasts the longest in this life ♪
86
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,932
♪ character or rock-hard thighs ♪
87
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,369
♪ in the end do you believe ♪
88
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,871
♪ that beauty lies in what you see ♪
89
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,440
♪ 'cause if you do then, baby ♪
90
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,108
♪ you've been deceived ♪
91
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,778
♪ well, me and b ♪
92
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:43,649
♪ we hate supermodels ♪
93
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:53,091
♪ it's just that I'm tired of being compared ♪
94
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,645
Now, I'm not chicken... Oh.
When can I see you?
95
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,781
You are seeing me.
96
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,449
I mean see you, see you.
97
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,952
I think I'd like to have
My own little slumber party.
98
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,320
How about friday night?
99
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,024
How about now?
100
00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:31,495
Well, I've never seen
Brooke's eartha kitt
Impersonation before.
101
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,333
We devoured the new issue
Of seventeen last night.
102
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,836
There was an article that said
All you need to make a boy happy
103
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:42,273
Is aggression and the
Perfect shade of plum lip gloss.
104
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:49,648
Nobody's here, and nurse glass
Is giving hearing tests
In the cafeteria.
105
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,120
What is up with you?
Did you watch titanic
Again last night?
106
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,623
Now, when can I see you?
107
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,591
Maybe when the girls
Go to college.
108
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,327
oh, I can't wait that long. I am obsessed.
109
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:05,430
why don't we just go park somewhere?
110
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,499
we can do it in the back of a car.
111
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,168
This beats the back of a car,
Doesn't it, baby?
112
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,936
Mm. Is this okay?
113
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,404
Mm-hmm.
Me being aggressive?
114
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,572
Mm.
Mm!
115
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,407
Do you like
My plum lip gloss?
116
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,276
It's tasty, like you.
117
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,813
Funny.
118
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,147
We never made out...
119
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,849
...During the day.
120
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,085
Well, there's
A big reason for that.
121
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,320
I'm... I mean
It's just, um...
122
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,989
it's more romantic at night.
123
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,892
Well, you can delay the wave
Of my magic wand all you want,
124
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,727
But know this:
You can't...
125
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,696
...Fight chemistry.
126
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:38,930
Mm.
127
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,900
[screaming]
128
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,402
Here's the deal.
129
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:46,404
We're making a date,
And we're doing it friday night.
130
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,741
it's been a long time since we've been... Sexy together,
131
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,209
and I need it.
132
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:52,844
You.
133
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,913
[phone beeps]
Wait. Somebody's beeping me.
134
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,115
Hang on. Hello?
135
00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:00,785
Mr. Mcqueen, this is
Nurse jessie glass calling
From the kennedy high clinic.
136
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,787
Hey, sis,
I need a midol.
137
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,223
[sniffs]
Oh, I smell sex and candy.
138
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,859
Got that right, bob.
Top drawer.
139
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,294
Hm.
140
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,897
Mr. Mcqueen, just thought
You should know
141
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,133
I stumbled upon brooke
And josh ford
142
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,802
In a cubicle making the best
Of their teen saliva.
143
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,504
put brooke on the phone.
144
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,542
It's for you.
145
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,615
Daddy?
146
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,016
[bell rings]
147
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,384
Coitus?
Interruptus.
148
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,420
We got busted by nurse glass.
149
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,055
She called my dad.
150
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,825
So, for punishment,
Josh and I have to do
The romeo and juliet thing.
151
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,495
A week of balcony, no climb.
152
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,530
Oh.
Oh, god, it sucks.
153
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:48,733
Oh, my god.
154
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,068
What?
155
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,737
James dean fantasy,
Ten o'clock.
156
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,639
Hi, I'm nicole.
157
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:57,608
This is brooke.
She's got a boyfriend.
158
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,477
Hi. Leo.
159
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:02,814
Oh, my god.
What a coincidence.
I'm a leo.
160
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,816
Really?
Hey, sorry I'm late.
161
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,317
Hey, carmen.
Hi.
162
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,519
Whatever. It's not like
We're waiting for you.
163
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,821
I was.
164
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,791
This is my big brother, leo.
165
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,698
Oh, hey, hey, carmen!
166
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,634
I am so loving
Your hello kitty purse.
167
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,035
Really?
168
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:25,770
Oh, yeah.
169
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,238
Thanks.
170
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:30,341
You girls coming to
Carmen's party on friday?
171
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,476
You only turn 16 once.
172
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,681
Bye.
173
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,353
Did you hear the father
Of my future spawn
174
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,856
Majorly hinting
To meet him at the party?
175
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,458
We're going to carmen's?
176
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,661
Brooke and josh, hello.
177
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,563
Balcony, with climb.
Thank you.
178
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,607
I bet you'd come if
Brooke mcqueen were coming.
179
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,509
I am so over
Brooke mcqueen.
180
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:08,547
Why would I come?
I've already seen you
And carmen in your pajamas.
181
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:09,748
When?
182
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,383
He used to come over
Whenever sam slept over.
183
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,552
My mission,
If I chose to accept it,
184
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:17,422
Was to try and sneak in
Without setting off the alarm.
185
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,558
Sorry, girls,
I've grown up.
186
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,661
Carm, my boss from hell
Put me on the schedule
Friday night.
187
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,563
Lily, you said you
Were gonna ask off.
188
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:29,701
I did, but julio
Got hepatitis,
So now I have to...
189
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,737
Remind me to never eat
At that particular mr. Cluck's.
190
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,506
It's okay, 'cause it'll probably
Be just the three of us anyway.
191
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,842
So why don't I move it
To next weekend?
192
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,210
Really?
Yeah.
193
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,545
That would be
So excellent.
Yeah.
194
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,429
Hi, harrison.
Hey, brooke.
195
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,764
How's it going?
It's cool.
196
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,367
Carmen, about your party...
197
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,071
Yeah, it's okay. I figured
You guys would be busy.
198
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,740
We've managed
To clear our schedules.
199
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:12,743
Wow, did satan
Find somebody else to guard
The gates of hades that night?
200
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,045
Sam.
201
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,281
Actually, spam, we got confused.
202
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,384
Um, the new gwyneth movie
Opens two weekends from now.
203
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,953
So, knock-knock.
204
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,622
Who's there?
205
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:24,923
We are, friday night.
206
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,893
I'll see ya.
207
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,394
Come on, girls.
208
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,737
Um, you know what?
209
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,472
I probably should keep
The party this friday,
210
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:46,110
Because my mom's
Been planning on it,
And she made decorations.
211
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,746
Okay.
212
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,954
And so, hell week begins.
213
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,029
[bell rings]
214
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:08,599
They're up to something,
I know it, and it's up to us
To watch carmen's back.
215
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,634
No, it's up to you
To watch her back.
216
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,703
I'll be watching
The damn chickens.
217
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:15,039
I think they're doing this
To get back at me.
218
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,542
I am linked to brooke mcqueen
Now for the time being.
219
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,477
For the time being?
220
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:23,481
Aren't your parents
Knocking boots and settling in
For the long haul?
221
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:26,684
I have not seen any
Concrete evidence of that.
222
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,521
Look, I can handle
Mean mcqueen and her posse,
223
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,557
But carmen's different.
224
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,625
I don't want her
To get hurt.
225
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,062
Yeah, but you're
Feeling hurt, aren't you?
226
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,530
I mean, come on, sammie.
227
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,734
It stings that carmen
Chose the cheerleaders over us.
228
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:46,204
That harrison
Is working through
His brooke mcqueen obsession,
229
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:50,574
And maybe he's not being
As attentive to you
As he used to be.
230
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:55,679
And the worst betrayal of all,
Your mom is swapping love
With brooke's dad.
231
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:58,883
It's been
A rough semester so far.
232
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,952
Oh, I don't know, lil.
233
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:05,423
It's just you'd think
They'd have some loyalty
234
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:08,326
Toward those who love 'em
Just the way they are.
235
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,262
And even though I think
Carmen's gone off the deep end,
236
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,732
We cannot let them go
After her just for sport.
237
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,200
I know.
238
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,069
And of course,
Irony of ironies,
239
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,305
There's only one person
Powerful enough to keep that
From happening.
240
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,775
So, I'm gonna leave
The window open to my bedroom
At carmen's house.
241
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:29,413
Nicole's gonna make sure
I get a room that's...
Man-accessible.
242
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,449
So long as I'm the man.
243
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,517
You're the man, baby.
244
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,058
What?
245
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,460
You know, it's just
That you don't have to
246
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,963
Wear any kind of
Special makeup for me.
247
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:48,933
I actually love you
The best when you're
Scrubbed and natural.
248
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,660
It's interesting, isn't it?
249
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,163
Guys say, don't wear
Very much makeup,
250
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,699
And then the magazines
Say, no, you need it,
251
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,502
Because without it you just
Look mousy and plain.
252
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:29,573
A girl can get pulled
In a lot of different
Directions these days, huh?
253
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,776
So many evil plots to plan,
So little time.
254
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:41,185
Wow. Even nominal chitchat
With you just goes straight
To the gutter level, doesn't it?
255
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,187
Why do I even try?
256
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:47,125
Don't go to carmen's party,
Brooke. Please.
257
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,027
Sam...
258
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,995
I actually like carmen.
I mean, she's...
259
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:53,997
Disposable?
260
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:56,134
What? Finish your sentence.
261
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:02,873
Would you rather us hurt
Her feelings by just
Declining the invitation?
262
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,343
Somehow, I don't think
This is about carmen's feelings.
263
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:08,779
Carmen thinks perseverance
Will get you to accept her,
But I don't think so.
264
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,982
I think you're gonna
Try to destroy her,
265
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,817
Or rather,
Let nicole do it for you,
266
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,186
And this time I will not
Let you get away with that.
267
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,355
I wouldn't do that.
268
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:18,990
And you know what?
269
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,559
I can see why carmen's
Casting around for new friends
270
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:25,529
When the ones she has
Are trying to get people
To blow off her party.
271
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,471
oh, come on, bob.
272
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:37,141
It'll be fun,
Having our own little
Slumber party.
273
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,542
It'll be a gas.
274
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,011
We'll pop popcorn,
Watch who's that girl?
275
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,982
Of all the sisters
In the world,
I had to get a girl.
276
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,984
Ugh!
277
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:51,089
Uh, nic, you guys aren't
Planning on doing anything
Mean with carmen, are you?
278
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:54,592
I just want to make it clear,
Because this is her house,
And we need to be nice.
279
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,428
Maybe we could freeze her bra,
Or put nair in the shampoo.
280
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,530
I mean, anything to
Keep our hand in.
281
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,934
No. Nicole, I don't want to
Be the person sam mcpherson
Thinks I am.
282
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,904
I... I'm not
That person, okay?
283
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:11,375
So we are not doing
Anything even remotely heinous
Or mean at this party.
284
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,943
You got it?
285
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,613
Okay, hon. I mean,
If you're laying down the law,
286
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,383
Of course I'll be nice
As pie to the birthday girl.
287
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,984
Thank you.
288
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,853
I mean, I wouldn't even
Dream of taking any more
Advantage of carmen
289
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,057
Than you are by going
To her party just 'cause
You want to be with josh.
290
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:32,029
Carm, I don't want you
To get your hopes up.
291
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,465
Can we not even make
A simple party list here
292
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,734
Without you being down
On everything?
293
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:40,738
They are coming, sam,
And they have been
Nothing but nice to me.
294
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:43,908
And I don't know why you can't
Admit that you're wrong.
295
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,617
[no audible dialogue]
296
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,832
Sit down, hon.
297
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,369
We've got a lot
To get through.
298
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,508
A list of our needs,
Vis-a-vis the optimal
Slumber party experience.
299
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,412
Okay, got it.
300
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:25,015
okay, carmen, they have let you in the sorority front door.
301
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:28,652
this is the rushing part. don't blow it, girlfriend.
302
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,122
what do they talk about during rush?
303
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,557
oh, yeah, of course.
304
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:38,028
Hey, wasn't gwyneth
So great in sliding doors?
305
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,631
Yeah, okay.
See, carmen, hon,
306
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,266
That was two years ago.
307
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,602
I think somebody needs
To put their lunch money
308
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,371
Towards a subscription
To in style magazine.
309
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,208
Right. I will get right
On that, mary cherry.
310
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:53,378
We assume that cute brother
Will be there friday night.
311
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,146
Has our leo
Found love yet?
312
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,915
Oh, well, not really.
313
00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:01,152
I mean, he kind of
Has his endless supply
Of crunchy girlfriends.
314
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,589
You know, birkenstocks
And underarm hair.
315
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,658
But...
[bell dings]
316
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,962
Oh, you can get them
By the box.
317
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,332
It's like getting
A whole one.
318
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,334
If you could note
Number 11,
319
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,669
Very importante.
320
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:32,916
My god. You just sunk
A three-pointer there.
Yeah.
321
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,186
I've been told
I have good hands.
322
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,455
You know what?
You're like a super hero.
323
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,490
Whenever I need you,
There you are.
324
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:43,761
Cafeteria man. Able to
Retrieve and recycle
In a single bound.
325
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,996
Hey, do you know
What's funny?
326
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,799
I was thinking about
Something last night.
327
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:52,670
Do you remember when you were
My slumber party sentry?
328
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:57,542
You want me to get you
A coke, harrison?
For the caffeine. Over.
329
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,777
I won't fall asleep,
Brooke. Over.
330
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,945
I don't want those creeps
Peeking in the windows
331
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:04,582
Thinking back at school that
They saw our training bras.
Over.
332
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,016
I won't let 'em.
333
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,719
I'll beat 'em up
If they try. Ten-four.
334
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,288
Remember, keep the boys out.
335
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:12,557
Over.
336
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:18,862
Hey, no one got a glimpse
Of panties on my watch.
337
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,265
Yeah. Are you going
To carmen's party?
338
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,403
I don't know, brooke.
I'm a busy guy.
339
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,938
Yeah, but if you're not there,
It just won't be the same.
340
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,707
Is that right?
341
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,275
Absolutely.
342
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:34,011
Harrison, I mean,
What if the boys come?
343
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,881
Right.
344
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,650
I'll talk to you later.
345
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,951
See ya.
346
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,897
So, at lunch, what were
You and the cheerleaders
Talking about?
347
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,599
Mm, gwyneth,
Ricky martin, stds.
348
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,602
Putting in your dues isn't
As bad as I thought it would be.
349
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:02,005
Oh, will you remind me
That when we go shopping,
I've got to get tab?
350
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,974
Tab? I hate
Diet drinks.
351
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,776
Then don't drink it.
352
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:09,112
I've also got to get
A couple bottles of
Ipecac, whatever that is.
353
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:12,116
That's the stuff
You give babies
To make them throw up.
354
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,417
Really?
355
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,753
'cause that's all
Mary cherry says she drinks.
356
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,458
Sheets? You're buying them
400-count sheets?
357
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:23,961
Yeah, 'cause brooke and nicole
Requested beds, and I don't mind
Sleeping on the floor.
358
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,997
This is unbelievable.
It's like five minutes
With them,
359
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,333
And my best friend
Becomes a child of the corn.
360
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,402
Sam, this is what I want.
361
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,738
Okay? If I can get
These girls to like me,
362
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,039
I might actually get
On the squad next year.
363
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,142
That's a lofty goal--
Wearing a little skirt
364
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,311
And a dopey smile and
Completely changing your life?
365
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,113
It's absolutely worth
Losing a best friend over.
366
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,983
Have a great party.
367
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,186
Sam!
368
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,863
Mom, would you stop, please?
369
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:03,534
You're just like carmen,
Whipping yourself all in
A frenzy for the wrong reasons.
370
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,970
You shouldn't change
Your body for a guy.
371
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,940
[laughs]
This isn't for mike.
It's for me.
372
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,214
Are you up for
A movie tonight?
373
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,217
Aren't you going
To carmen's party?
374
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,852
No, I don't like
The guest list.
375
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,453
Oh, sam.
376
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,989
I thought you were gonna
Try and be civil to brooke.
377
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,392
You have to remember,
She hasn't had it easy.
Her mother walked out--
378
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:31,695
That was eight years ago,
And she's still milking it.
Can we please go out?
379
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,798
I just want to
Stay home, honey.
380
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,768
You know, why is it
Whenever there's a conflict
Between me and brooke,
381
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,437
You always choose brooke?
382
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:43,106
Are you trying to earn
Points with mike or what?
383
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,109
You know
That's not true, sammie.
384
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,745
I got to be honest with you,
I'm disappointed in you.
385
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:49,747
Do you know when I was
Most proud of you?
386
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:52,182
When you were in kindergarten,
And you'd bring home
Your report cards,
387
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,317
And they'd say,
"Plays well with others."
388
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,620
You wouldn't get that grade now.
You'd flunk that course.
389
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,188
So would your darling brooke.
390
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,424
It seems to me
She's going to the party.
391
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,959
She's making an effort.
392
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:04,795
She's going there
To be mean to carmen,
To hurt her.
393
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:08,098
Nicole will do the dirty work,
And brooke will stand by
Like she always does,
394
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,300
Spineless and yet
Perfectly preserved.
395
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:13,271
I don't think brooke would
Let somebody do something
Intentionally cruel.
396
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:16,474
Okay, mom, you know what?
I'll go to the party.
397
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:19,710
And when I come home,
You and I can bond over
The atrocities
398
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,713
I'm sure her
And her ladies-in-waiting
Are going to commit tonight.
399
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,617
Maybe then with proof,
You'll start siding
With the right person.
400
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:31,288
[doorbell rings]
401
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:43,400
[all] Hi, carm!
Hi. Come on in.
402
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:47,571
Happy birthday.
403
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,939
Thanks, brooke.
404
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:50,574
Happy birthday!
405
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,543
Oh, hi.
406
00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,512
Hi. Happy birthday.
Can you take that?
407
00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:55,879
Sure.
Thanks, sweetie.
408
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,280
Okay.
409
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,317
Carm?
410
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,121
Hey.
411
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,490
Hey.
412
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:11,428
Happy birthday.
413
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:28,178
maybe my mom's right. maybe I am overreacting.
414
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:34,151
brooke has been nice, and she's not taking advantage of carmen at all.
415
00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:37,187
why is it I'm here in a room full of people
416
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:40,257
and yet I've never felt more alone?
417
00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:43,861
[brooke] Nicole's right. I'm a hypocrite.
418
00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:47,365
I'm here taking advantage of carmen.
419
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:49,734
but everybody's on their best behavior,
420
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:53,436
and maybe it's not so bad coming here and giving carmen what she wanted.
421
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,174
I wish my breasts bounced.
422
00:22:57,242 --> 00:23:01,011
[carmen] My god, brooke is so perfect and so super-skinny.
423
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,348
note to self: no birthday cake.
424
00:23:08,854 --> 00:23:10,721
[harrison] I hope carmen's right.
425
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,356
gotta keep paying your dues.
426
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:19,396
[giggles]
427
00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:21,599
My god, penis pasta.
428
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:24,702
Yeah, you have to
Eat it al dente.
429
00:23:25,871 --> 00:23:27,170
Ew.
430
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,673
So, do you want to hear
A song I wrote?
431
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,209
It's called
"Decapitated rat." okay.
432
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,312
♪ I'm a prize ♪
433
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:39,216
♪ drug in by the cat
Like a mouse or a bird ♪
434
00:23:39,284 --> 00:23:41,485
♪ or a decapitated rat... ♪
Yeah, okay, hon.
435
00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:43,787
You're a good fiddle player.
We get it. Thanks.
436
00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:46,757
You forgot a gift.
437
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,459
Oh.
438
00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,166
It's a poem.
439
00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:00,938
Aw.
440
00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:04,207
"On the occasion of
Your sixteenth birthday."
441
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:08,145
Sam, when you graduate,
You could totally get
A job at hallmark.
442
00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:12,783
She so could.
443
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,718
She has a poem
For, like, every occasion.
444
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,754
When we were 13,
She wrote me a poem called,
445
00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:18,622
"On the occasion
Of your first period."
446
00:24:18,691 --> 00:24:20,724
[all] Ew!
447
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,926
[all laughing]
448
00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,462
Wait, sam,
Where you going...
449
00:24:24,530 --> 00:24:25,528
Come back. I was kidding.
450
00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:26,596
Where's she going?
451
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,431
She's gonna miss the makeovers,
452
00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:29,933
And she needs one.
453
00:24:31,036 --> 00:24:32,870
Oh, I'll go get her.
454
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:36,506
Thank you.
455
00:24:39,711 --> 00:24:42,245
Thanks, you guys.
This stuff is great.
456
00:24:57,697 --> 00:25:00,197
intruder. Intruder. Intruder.
457
00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:01,398
intruder.
458
00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,369
[hits bad note]
459
00:25:10,275 --> 00:25:12,275
Oh... Oh, hi.
460
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,611
Leo.
461
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:16,013
Hi.
Right, hi.
462
00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:21,318
Oh, wow. I was just looking for
The little girl's room, but...
463
00:25:22,989 --> 00:25:27,190
Oh. I love a good bean bag.
464
00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:28,591
Oh.
465
00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:42,673
Yo, scrub!
466
00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:44,942
What do you think
You're doing here?
467
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,677
The mans are here!
468
00:25:46,746 --> 00:25:49,713
The official players'
Panty raid!
469
00:25:49,782 --> 00:25:53,016
So why don't you take your
Perverted peeping little self
470
00:25:53,085 --> 00:25:54,552
And run along home?
471
00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:56,587
You got a lot of bravado,
Sugar daddy,
472
00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:59,990
For a guy who's still playing
Bench on the pee-wee leagues.
473
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:01,992
Yo. Hey, you get around
To first base, yo!
474
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:04,361
And the season's coming
To a close. Word!
475
00:26:04,429 --> 00:26:06,263
Whoa, sugar.
476
00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:08,666
Who you here for,
Harrison? Mcpherson?
477
00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,001
I don't think that's
Any of your business, ford.
478
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:13,837
Do you have a room
Ready and waiting?
479
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,806
'cause my girl booked me
A suite in this here
Love motel.
480
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:18,641
So it's time for me
To go see my baby.
481
00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:20,811
Yeah, good luck.
482
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,713
What's that supposed to mean?
483
00:26:22,782 --> 00:26:25,182
[cell phone rings]
484
00:26:27,153 --> 00:26:28,686
Hello?
hey.
485
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,320
Look up.
Where?
486
00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:32,522
Hey, babe!
487
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,426
There's an alarm.
How we gonna crack it?
488
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:38,062
Let me talk to harrison.
489
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,797
She wants to talk
To you, harry.
490
00:26:42,634 --> 00:26:45,435
Hey, brooke.
hey, harrison.
491
00:26:45,504 --> 00:26:48,438
Um, could you be my knight
In shining armor again?
492
00:26:48,507 --> 00:26:50,507
there's an alarm.
Um...
493
00:26:53,412 --> 00:26:56,079
Sure. Yeah, I know the code.
494
00:26:56,148 --> 00:26:58,716
If I can help you guys out,
Hey, I'm there.
495
00:26:58,784 --> 00:27:04,421
It's 1954, and the panel you
Punch it into is by the door.
496
00:27:04,489 --> 00:27:06,023
Okay. Hold on.
497
00:27:08,828 --> 00:27:10,093
Thanks.
498
00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:19,236
[giggles]
499
00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:22,640
Romeo, romeo,
Wherefore art thou, romeo?
500
00:27:22,708 --> 00:27:24,374
Coming!
501
00:27:26,779 --> 00:27:28,912
It's rough, huh, scrub?
502
00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:33,917
Girls who look like brooke
Go for guys who are like josh.
503
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:35,418
We ain't got a chance.
504
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,854
Come on.
505
00:27:40,559 --> 00:27:43,493
Oh, I would have given anything
To be at the real woodstock,
506
00:27:43,562 --> 00:27:48,565
Where it was just peace
And love and, oh, the music.
507
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,301
Sammie?
508
00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:55,038
Leo? I didn't know
You were home.
509
00:27:56,141 --> 00:27:58,408
Look at you.
All grown up.
510
00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:01,044
You're a babe.
511
00:28:02,481 --> 00:28:05,148
So, how's life
At the daily planet?
512
00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:07,617
Did you close down
Any toxic waste dumps lately?
513
00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:09,419
I'm trying.
514
00:28:11,323 --> 00:28:13,857
Well, as a former
Football player,
515
00:28:13,926 --> 00:28:16,293
I'm sure you'll be
Dismayed to hear, leo,
516
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:20,163
That she tried her best
To close down
The cheerleading squad.
517
00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,532
Oh!
Is that right?
518
00:28:22,601 --> 00:28:23,967
[nicole]
Oh.
519
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,703
You go, girl.
520
00:28:25,771 --> 00:28:28,638
I mean, women are actually
Playing sports now.
521
00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:32,309
There's no reason for them
To be freezing their asses off
In those little miniskirts.
522
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:33,643
Yeah, I agree.
523
00:28:33,713 --> 00:28:36,179
Nic, I don't mean
To embarrass you,
524
00:28:36,248 --> 00:28:38,481
But it must be getting
Close to midnight.
525
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,850
You're starting to spread hair
In strange places.
526
00:28:43,522 --> 00:28:45,956
Good. I'm glad
You like my costume.
527
00:28:46,025 --> 00:28:47,958
It's an homage
To your friends.
528
00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:50,494
I like to call it,
"Loser hippy chick."
529
00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:54,564
[laughs]
530
00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,466
What the hell was that?
531
00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:58,168
Don't ask. Just...
532
00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:17,387
Time for the party games.
533
00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:24,461
I'd like to thank
The academy,
534
00:29:24,529 --> 00:29:26,396
My hair colorist,
535
00:29:26,465 --> 00:29:29,732
And of course brad pitt,
Ben affleck,
536
00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:32,202
And all my other beaus
Whose fame and fortune
537
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:33,837
I've now eclipsed.
538
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:38,975
Gwyneth, when I snap my fingers,
You will awake.
539
00:29:40,980 --> 00:29:42,012
Ooh.
540
00:29:42,081 --> 00:29:44,448
Oh! Oh, my god!
541
00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:47,584
She just hypnotized you
Into thinking you were
Gwyneth paltrow.
542
00:29:47,653 --> 00:29:50,187
Take me back there.
I want to go back.
543
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,122
Mary cherry,
You've had your turn.
544
00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:53,356
Who's next?
545
00:30:36,468 --> 00:30:38,735
I love slumber parties.
546
00:30:44,143 --> 00:30:47,610
So that's it?
You dropped out
After three years of college
547
00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:49,946
And snowboarded
Around europe?
Yep.
548
00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:53,516
But you did everything
In high school.
549
00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,152
You were a legend.
550
00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:57,020
I thought you'd be
A big deal by now.
551
00:30:57,089 --> 00:30:59,689
Yeah, well,
You and me both, sam.
552
00:30:59,758 --> 00:31:01,191
What happened?
553
00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:03,260
Life.
554
00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:06,796
I had a head-on collision
With the future.
555
00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:09,599
In high school,
It's all about potential.
556
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:13,337
When it ends,
You've got to deliver.
557
00:31:13,405 --> 00:31:17,074
And... I didn't have
Any idea how to do that.
558
00:31:19,411 --> 00:31:21,344
So you've moved
Back here to...
559
00:31:21,413 --> 00:31:23,947
Try and figure out
How to grow up.
560
00:31:24,016 --> 00:31:28,551
I don't want to be
One of those guys who
Topped out in high school.
561
00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:31,087
You know?
Something tells me
You won't be.
562
00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:35,858
So, why aren't you
At that party having fun?
563
00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:37,494
Oh.
564
00:31:38,997 --> 00:31:41,063
I guess I got
My invitation,
565
00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:43,266
But I don't really
Feel invited.
566
00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:45,602
Ah.
567
00:31:45,671 --> 00:31:49,372
Brilliant metaphor
For life in your early 20s.
568
00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:52,842
But in my case,
I got my invitation.
569
00:31:52,912 --> 00:31:55,412
I just neglected
To r.S.V.P.
570
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,014
And now I...
And now...
571
00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,683
You're trying to figure out
Some way to crash.
572
00:32:01,887 --> 00:32:03,820
How old are you again?
573
00:32:05,491 --> 00:32:07,157
[horn honks]
574
00:32:07,226 --> 00:32:08,891
That's my ride.
575
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,927
I gotta go.
576
00:32:10,995 --> 00:32:12,762
Hot date?
577
00:32:12,831 --> 00:32:17,567
Ah, one of those cheerleaders
You mentioned I used to date.
578
00:32:17,636 --> 00:32:20,470
She works at pizza hut now.
579
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,041
Well, hey.
580
00:32:24,109 --> 00:32:29,212
I've got this resume
Format builder in my computer.
581
00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:32,449
If you ever need any help
Getting back on track,
582
00:32:32,517 --> 00:32:34,517
I'm just a phone call away.
583
00:32:34,586 --> 00:32:36,586
I'll take you up on that.
584
00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:46,363
[clucking]
585
00:32:46,432 --> 00:32:48,966
Chicken,
Bring me some chex mix.
586
00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:53,970
[clucking]
587
00:32:54,038 --> 00:32:55,805
That's it.
Good job.
588
00:32:55,874 --> 00:32:57,774
[clucks]
Very nice.
589
00:32:57,842 --> 00:32:59,942
[mary]
She really is hypnotized.
590
00:33:00,011 --> 00:33:01,078
It's magic.
591
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:02,379
[clucks]
Stop it.
592
00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:05,948
Chicken, I said,
Bring me some chex mix.
593
00:33:06,017 --> 00:33:08,084
Carm, what's the matter
With you?
594
00:33:08,153 --> 00:33:11,788
Carmen's not here.
She's been hypnotized.
595
00:33:11,856 --> 00:33:13,423
She's a chicken.
596
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,492
Hey, sam, you want
To hear my new poem?
597
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,129
"On the occasion
Of being a chicken."
598
00:33:19,198 --> 00:33:21,965
[clucking]
Great, carm. Real nice.
599
00:33:22,034 --> 00:33:24,234
Stay here and have a blast
With your new dumb clucks.
600
00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:25,302
[clucks]
601
00:33:25,370 --> 00:33:26,803
Happy birthday.
602
00:33:26,872 --> 00:33:27,904
[clucks]
603
00:33:29,208 --> 00:33:30,473
You know what?
604
00:33:30,542 --> 00:33:32,909
I think it's time
For a midnight snack.
605
00:33:32,977 --> 00:33:34,911
Of chicken!
606
00:33:34,979 --> 00:33:37,246
[laughing]
607
00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:38,981
[clucking]
608
00:33:40,552 --> 00:33:43,620
I've lost all sensation
In my lips.
609
00:33:48,393 --> 00:33:50,960
[knocking]
610
00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:52,929
Oh, god, carmen's mom.
611
00:33:52,997 --> 00:33:55,365
This is her room, isn't it?
612
00:33:55,434 --> 00:33:57,033
[knocking]
613
00:33:57,102 --> 00:33:58,968
[whispering]
614
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,573
[knocking]
615
00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:09,513
Sam, what are you doing?
616
00:34:09,581 --> 00:34:13,316
I knew you'd be in here
Doing something dirty.
617
00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:16,653
I don't know what
You're talking about.
I just fell asleep in the bed.
618
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:19,356
Well, then there's a pretty
Aggressive mattress in here
619
00:34:19,424 --> 00:34:21,724
With a predisposition
Toward mashing.
620
00:34:21,793 --> 00:34:24,227
Check your smeared lipstick.
You look like a hooker.
621
00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:26,796
Don't you have
A party to get back to?
622
00:34:26,865 --> 00:34:29,466
Mary cherry's right.
With your sour puss,
You are in definite need
623
00:34:29,534 --> 00:34:31,568
Of makeover fun and frolic.
624
00:34:31,636 --> 00:34:34,203
I am done with
The sadistic reindeer games.
625
00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:38,140
But f.Y.I., if your conscience
Calls, maybe you could go
Call of your henchwoman.
626
00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:40,743
They're doing exactly
What you promised they wouldn't.
627
00:34:40,812 --> 00:34:43,480
They just hypnotized carmen
Into thinking she's a chicken.
628
00:34:44,716 --> 00:34:46,115
S-sam...
629
00:34:46,184 --> 00:34:47,717
Look, you're probably
Overreacting, okay?
630
00:34:47,786 --> 00:34:51,153
You lied to me in
The novak when you told me
You liked carmen.
631
00:34:51,223 --> 00:34:55,024
You don't. She's just another
Person you can walk all over
To get your way.
632
00:34:55,094 --> 00:34:57,994
She chose you, brooke.
God, just like my mother does.
633
00:34:58,062 --> 00:35:01,231
Why are people blinded by you?
Why am I the only one
Who sees through you?
634
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:03,600
I didn't lie about carmen.
Okay? I like her.
635
00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:04,967
Yeah.
636
00:35:05,036 --> 00:35:07,204
You're just a paragon
Of truth, aren't you?
637
00:35:07,272 --> 00:35:09,572
You want to look me
In the face
638
00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:12,809
And tell me you don't have your
Boyfriend stashed in the closet?
639
00:35:12,877 --> 00:35:14,010
Hi, sam.
640
00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:17,714
I'll leave you lovebirds
To your nesting.
641
00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:26,088
So, did you tell carmen
You were coming here
For a party?
642
00:35:26,157 --> 00:35:27,591
Brooke?
643
00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:31,261
Did she think
You want to be her friend?
644
00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:32,595
Mm-hmm.
645
00:35:34,032 --> 00:35:36,966
Suddenly, I don't feel
All that sexy anymore.
646
00:35:44,876 --> 00:35:46,208
Great.
647
00:35:46,277 --> 00:35:49,279
Okay, chicken,
You know the plan.
648
00:35:49,348 --> 00:35:52,214
Here's your chicken money...
Bok.
649
00:35:52,284 --> 00:35:55,685
Chicken, to buy yourself
A big old bucket
Of your brethren.
650
00:35:58,123 --> 00:36:00,457
Bok. Bok.
651
00:36:04,296 --> 00:36:06,062
Bok.
652
00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:07,497
[clucking]
653
00:36:07,566 --> 00:36:10,032
Okay, now why isn't
Mary cherry in?
654
00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:12,535
She said fast-food joints
Breed e coli poisoning.
655
00:36:12,604 --> 00:36:15,605
She's too much of a lady
To get the lady diarrheas.
[horn honking]
656
00:36:30,054 --> 00:36:31,821
Josh is gone.
657
00:36:32,924 --> 00:36:34,257
Yeah.
658
00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:39,662
Him and everybody else.
659
00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:42,364
I suppose this is the part where
I come to your rescue again.
660
00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:45,101
I'm not doing that
Anymore, brooke.
661
00:36:46,237 --> 00:36:48,371
I'm not gonna be your lookout...
662
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,573
And I'm not driving you home.
663
00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:56,278
Call nicole on her cell phone.
She'll come pick you up.
664
00:36:56,348 --> 00:37:00,383
You can join her
And carmen down at mr. Cluck's
For a nice girls' night out.
665
00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:01,985
I'm done with this!
666
00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:03,720
Harrison, you have to
Take me to them.
667
00:37:03,788 --> 00:37:06,723
I can't anymore, brooke.
I won't.
668
00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:10,727
No, please, harrison.
This time it's not for me.
669
00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:12,428
Please.
670
00:37:23,608 --> 00:37:25,508
[giggling]
671
00:37:29,047 --> 00:37:30,714
[man giggling]
672
00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:32,649
[woman laughing]
673
00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:38,455
I can't believe
We did it on the kitchen floor.
674
00:37:38,523 --> 00:37:40,890
I can't believe
You don't like your body.
675
00:37:40,959 --> 00:37:43,325
Oh, I have a mommy tummy.
I think it's adorable.
676
00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:46,596
No, I just, um...
What?
677
00:37:46,665 --> 00:37:48,297
What?
678
00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:51,000
You were married to
A homecoming queen before,
679
00:37:51,069 --> 00:37:54,036
And I am a lot of things,
But I'm not that.
680
00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,373
I will never be that.
681
00:37:56,441 --> 00:38:00,042
And I just want to be...
I want to be perfect for you.
682
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,311
Jane.
683
00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:04,514
To me, right now,
684
00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,917
From the first moment
I saw you,
685
00:38:09,487 --> 00:38:11,554
You are perfect.
686
00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:16,359
You're just perfect.
687
00:38:24,303 --> 00:38:26,303
Carm, hey.
688
00:38:26,371 --> 00:38:28,237
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you at the party?
689
00:38:28,307 --> 00:38:29,572
Bok, bok, bucket!
690
00:38:33,044 --> 00:38:34,711
Bok, bok, bucket!
691
00:38:34,779 --> 00:38:36,646
Stop it.
692
00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:38,515
Stop making fun of me.
693
00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:47,056
[carmen] pay your dues, carmen. pay your dues.
694
00:38:50,862 --> 00:38:53,095
At your service.
Here you go.
695
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,532
And, um, carm, guess
What rhymes with bucket?
696
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:00,703
Bok, bok, bucket!
697
00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,805
[people laughing]
698
00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:20,390
Bok, bok, bucket!
699
00:39:21,225 --> 00:39:23,526
Bok!
700
00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:26,329
Okay, carm, you won.
701
00:39:28,433 --> 00:39:31,468
We played truth or dare
At this slumber party.
702
00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:34,003
You did the dare,
So I gotta cluck, too.
703
00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:36,773
Bok, bok, bucket!
704
00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:39,275
Bok!
705
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,146
I think you should leave. Now.
706
00:39:45,283 --> 00:39:46,616
Come on, poppy.
707
00:39:46,685 --> 00:39:48,685
Let's blow
This chicken stand.
708
00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:53,823
I'm not in the mood
For a pity party.
709
00:40:02,934 --> 00:40:04,967
I'm sorry, carmen.
710
00:40:05,036 --> 00:40:06,703
I'm really sorry.
711
00:40:39,003 --> 00:40:41,804
I wasn't making fun
Of your job, lily.
I really wasn't.
712
00:40:41,873 --> 00:40:45,074
I was just trying
To make 'em laugh.
You know?
713
00:40:45,143 --> 00:40:48,544
And I did.
They laughed their asses off.
714
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,749
Any room for me?
715
00:40:52,817 --> 00:40:54,250
Always.
716
00:40:58,656 --> 00:41:02,559
I was wrong to leave you
At the mercy of brooke mcqueen
And her posse, carmen.
717
00:41:02,627 --> 00:41:05,027
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
718
00:41:05,096 --> 00:41:08,765
I'm sorry, too.
I acted like an idiot.
719
00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:12,902
And you know,
Brooke mcqueen turned out
To be not so horrible.
720
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:14,904
She kind of came through
In the end.
721
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,740
Great. So what are you saying?
I'm wrong twice.
722
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:19,275
What?
723
00:41:19,343 --> 00:41:20,877
Honey, what's wrong?
724
00:41:20,945 --> 00:41:22,011
What happened?
725
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,047
I went home and...
726
00:41:25,116 --> 00:41:28,017
I saw my mother
And mike mcqueen
727
00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:30,820
Doing it full on
On the kitchen floor.
728
00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:32,054
Oh, my god.
729
00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:33,055
Oh, my god.
730
00:41:33,124 --> 00:41:35,758
It's real between them,
You guys.
731
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:38,494
It's just hard
When you realize
732
00:41:38,563 --> 00:41:42,165
That despite all
The stupid pain you endure,
733
00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:45,234
Sometimes even
With all that work,
734
00:41:45,303 --> 00:41:47,636
They still choose
Somebody else.
735
00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:52,108
Sam?
736
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:54,977
I feel really bad, sam.
737
00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:58,247
Everybody gave me presents
To make me look different
738
00:41:58,316 --> 00:42:00,550
Or make me smell different.
739
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:05,121
But your poem
Was the only thing
740
00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:08,124
That was actually
A tribute to who I am.
741
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,128
You're the one who
Really came through for me.
742
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:17,333
Damn.
743
00:42:17,401 --> 00:42:20,236
You know what really gets me?
744
00:42:21,673 --> 00:42:25,508
All week, I have so
Been craving birthday cake.
745
00:42:25,577 --> 00:42:29,112
All week,
And I missed it.
746
00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:33,650
Not necessarily.
747
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:34,917
What are you doing?
748
00:42:36,187 --> 00:42:38,121
I'm making you
A birthday cake.
749
00:42:40,591 --> 00:42:42,524
I stopped back
By your place,
750
00:42:42,594 --> 00:42:44,694
But you guys weren't there,
So I grabbed those.
751
00:42:46,130 --> 00:42:48,064
It's five to midnight.
752
00:42:48,132 --> 00:42:51,701
Gotta blow out the candles
Before your birthday is over.
753
00:42:53,437 --> 00:42:55,371
You know what's so funny
Is before this thing started,
754
00:42:55,439 --> 00:43:00,042
All I wanted for my birthday
Was to be with the two of you.
755
00:43:00,111 --> 00:43:01,878
Make your wish, carm.
756
00:43:07,485 --> 00:43:09,485
[both laugh]
757
00:43:09,553 --> 00:43:12,221
Oh, gross.
758
00:43:13,825 --> 00:43:15,491
Thanks.
759
00:43:27,672 --> 00:43:31,274
♪ to bend and not to break ♪
760
00:43:31,342 --> 00:43:35,111
♪ chin up, try not to quake ♪
761
00:43:35,179 --> 00:43:38,680
♪ I'm grinning on the outside ♪
762
00:43:38,749 --> 00:43:42,551
♪ but I'm a wreck internally ♪
763
00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:46,989
♪ ooh, la la la la ♪
764
00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:56,298
♪ ooh, la la la la ♪
64612
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